Graceleaf

Yesterday, a pit of fire opened up below my family’s tent. In a moment, our entire life was swallowed up in a burst of flame. I rushed over to my former home, now a smoldering Hell pit. We didn’t have much inside — only clothing and a few daggers to ward off the imps at night. Still, my eyes filled with tears as I stared at the pit. When Mama came back from battle, she muttered curses under her breath and kicked at the dust.

Papa was still under the care of the healers, after the last battle fought in one of Hell’s countless plains. After I helped clean up, I flew to the makeshift hospital to see him. The camp zoomed past, an array of tents and shacks, and in the distance, officers’ barracks. Guards posted at the wall waved at me, and I recognized one.

“Flauros!” I hovered next to him. “How’s the shift?”

Flauros smiled, turning his gaze from the distance. “Well, I’ve seen dirt and a few tumbleweeds. No devils in sight,” he sighed.

“Aren’t they mad though, after the last fight?” I asked, looking out into the desert of Hell. The sky was a bloody smear across the red landscape. No demons marched over the horizon, brandishing swords. There was only the barren wasteland and the burning sun.

“The devils are still regrouping after the beating we gave them.”

I shivered, remembering the last battle. They had attacked at night, swarming over the walls. Devils wearing stinking furs and rusty armor, set fire to tents and soldiers. I hid in the officers’ barracks with the other children. With every burst of flame, another scream rang through the night. We huddled in the corner, silent. I wished that my sister, Laylah, was next to me, saying that it would be alright. But she and my older brothers were gone, stationed in a distant outpost.

By the time we emerged from the barracks at dawn, the cries of the wounded had died down. How many of us became orphans that night?

“Sorry about your dad,” Flauros said, when I looked down.

“It’s okay, he’ll be fine. Just a few scratches,” I said, not mentioning Papa’s delirious rambling and his rotting leg. At least he’s alive.

***

I lifted up the tent flap and ventured inside. The stench of blood and rot filled the air, and I tried not to gag. Injured soldiers groaned and cried out. I tried not to look at them, and stared at the ground. Healers tried to close bite wounds and repair charred skin, but it was no use. We all knew that the good healers — ones who mend shattered bones and grow new skin — were only for high-ranking angels. Papa lay on a stained blanket, healers bustling around him.

“Hey, Abaddon, how are you?” he said, propping himself up. His eyes glazed over. He stared in my direction, not really seeing. Papa’s feathers were ruffled and bent. I smoothed them down carefully.

“Fine, Dad. A Hell pit opened up under the tent,” I said, tucking the blankets around him.

“Hells! Again?”

“Is your leg alright?”

“Yeah, healing up nicely. I’ll be back in the fights before the week is up.” He grimaced. Thick bandages covered his leg, soaked through with dark blood.

A healer pulled me aside. She was from another rank, her robes a light, smooth blue. Her white wings glowed in the dim hospital tent. She smiled at me. I hated her, like I did angels of all other ranks. She didn’t care about us.

“Child, is your mother in the outpost?” she asked, her voice soft and lilting.

I crossed my arms. “She’s around.”

She sighed. “She has to come here now.”

“Why?”

“Your father is very sick. His leg needs to be removed before infection spreads.”

***

I hate the outpost. Red dust coats every surface — clothes, weapon, skin. It seeps into the water, until each drink tastes like copper. The bread is hard enough to crack teeth and tastes like it was tossed into the dirt.

Each day, soldiers battle devils. By nighttime, some return missing eyes, legs, wings. Devils lurk in the shadows, carrying clubs, swords, and spears. Beyond the outpost are untold horrors: lands crawling with monsters. I’ve heard stories that beyond the desert, there are more demons than ever seen near the outpost. Kings and warlords rule over the lands, each more terrifying than the last.

Life was hard, and devil attacks grew more frequent as time went on. When Mama and Papa were first stationed out here, no demons dared to approach. Now, it was getting worse.

My parents told me stories about Heaven at night, when the shadows descended on the camp, and the only light was from the campfire.

“Everything is beautiful, green everywhere,” my father said, as if in a daze.

“Are there trees? They have leaves and bark, right?” I asked. I imagined lying under a tree, resting in the shade. There was no rest in Hell. Only relentless heat, pounding down onto skin. “Why aren’t we in Heaven?” I asked.

Mama laughed bitterly, breaking the silence she held all night. “They don’t want us up there. We’re not pure enough,” she sneered.

“Hush.”

“Why encourage her silly dreams? Abaddon won’t escape this wretched pit, and neither will we.”

“Pa, have you ever been there?” I asked him.

“Once,” he said quietly. “The sky was such a nice color, a bright blue…”

***

Today was the battle. I kissed Mama on the cheek, where a jagged scar crossed her face. She was dressed in her armor, dented and dusty.

“Stay safe,” she whispered, as I hugged her. Dark circles ringed her eyes, and I remembered last night. It was dawn when Mama returned to our new tent, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Papa is alright, I repeated to myself. He is fine.

Mama turned her back and joined her company. I watched her from Flauros’ guard post as she disappeared into the desert. I sighed and turned away.

I hated this. Why did Mama and Papa and Laylah have to fight battles for the other angels? Soon, I would too. Mama said that soon, I would be drafted, when I came of age. She said they’d come to you, giant shining messengers with a thousand eyes. It’s scary at first, but then you can leave, leave the outpost where all soldier’s children live, leave the dreaded frontier, and maybe even see Heaven.

“Cheer up, Abby. Your Ma will be back soon,” Flauros said.

“I hope.”

Suddenly, more angels appeared a few feet away. I’d never seen anything like them before. Their golden armor gleamed in the sun, and wisps of flame floated from their wings. They carried fiery swords that radiated heat. They were beautiful. One turned and stared right at me.

“Those are Paragons. Don’t look at them,” Flauros said harshly.

“Why not?” I asked, glaring at him.

“Listen, don’t tell your ma I said this…”

“I’m not a child. I can handle it.” I looked for the Paragons again, but they were already gone.

“Well, Paragons are a… different type of angel. I don’t know too much, but before coming to this outpost, I saw some of them. In a devil village,” he said.

“And?”

“They set the village on fire. I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he said and turned away.

***

“Is there anything else you can do?” I asked the healer, who was wrapping a fresh bandage around Papa’s leg. She shook her head, and looked away from me. I sighed and got up. Being in the tent was stifling, and each minute grew more stuffy. I patted Papa’s feathers and went outside for some air.

I plopped into the sand just as two angels hovered by. I looked up curiously. It was Captain Jael and the healer with blue robes, clutching an armful of yellowed scrolls.

“There has to be some way to help them,” she pleaded.

“Charmeine, this plant of yours is in the middle of devil territory. I’m not risking my troops for Graceleaf,” he said. Graceleaf? I’ve never heard of it before.

“It’s only fair that their wounds are healed too —”

He pushed past her roughly and flew away. Her shoulders drooped, and she finally noticed me.

“What’s Graceleaf?” I asked, standing up quickly.

“Did you hear everything?” Charmeine said, gripping the scrolls tightly.

I nodded. “Will it heal my dad’s leg?”

“Well, it’s just a story —”

“I can get it for you,” I said.

“Dear, you’re too young!” she said, frowning.

“I’m almost of age.”

“No, you need to stay here with your parents. Besides, the Captain forbids it.” She turned away and flew back into the hospital.

***

It wasn’t too hard to take her scrolls. She propped them on a mat with other medical supplies. She was busy mixing a salve and didn’t look up when I grabbed them. I hurried out of the tent and went to a secluded, shaded spot under the wall. I plopped down onto the sand, and unrolled the scrolls.

Strange, old Angelic runes were printed on the yellowed sheet, and I struggled to read them. Skimming the page, I eventually found Graceleaf listed.

Graceleaf – heals flesh wounds, blue leaves and thick stem, found in the Southern Barren Caves.

In another scroll was a detailed map.

***

My dagger was in its sheath, tied around my waist. My pack had a waterskin and some food in it. I hoped that this wouldn’t take long. I couldn’t stop thinking of all the horrors awaiting me — barbarian demons, fire pits and more. But I had to do this for Papa. What else could I do?

I pushed away a stone, revealing a hole in the wall, something I noticed long ago but never went through. It was tiny, but I fit. I squeezed through on my hands and knees, the rock scraping against my wings. I emerged outside, the sand already blowing hard. In front of me, Hell stretched out. I scanned the horizon for demons, but there were none that I could see.

It was disturbing being on the other side of the wall, like devils could attack at any moment. Hell seemed even bigger, its deserts stretching out in the far distance. I started flying. Every few minutes I saw a dented shield, chunk of armor, or broken sword. I had never been near the plains where angels and demons had fought for millennia; I’d only heard scattered stories from Mama and Papa.

Eventually, as the day became hotter, I needed to rest. I headed over to the shaded lip of a rock. I plopped down and drank slowly from my waterskin. Water washed over my parched throat, and I felt better.

***

The sun rose higher as the day went on. I traveled through vast plains and dried up river beds. Sweat dripped down my face, and I wiped it away quickly. My tunic clung to my skin, soaked through. I stopped at a stream and drank greedily from it, filling my bottle until it overflowed.

There were more strange sights as I traveled through Hell. Tiny red imps watched me from behind a rock, scattering when I turned around. In one plain was a black monolith, with strange markings on it. I looked closer at the squiggles and shapes. In its center was a drawing of a horned demon, bat wings stretched outwards in mid-flight. I turned away from the monument reluctantly, running my fingers over its smooth surface.

In another valley was a boiling pit of fire. Shadows waved from beneath the lava, and a strange whispering sound filled the air. So beautiful…

I moved on, past the lake of fire and onto the next ridge. As I crossed the crest of a hill, a valley opened beneath me. I gasped, bile rising in my throat. It was an abandoned battlefield. The dirt was stained with gore. Bodies rotted in the sun, their guts exposed by scavengers. Feathers, stuck to the rocks with clots of blood, were stained red. Angel and demon flags, tattered and worn, flapped in the breeze. The stench was horrific, a thousand times worse than the hospital tent. I vomited, and it splattered on a charred rock.

I threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach, trembling the entire time. Finally, I stood up shakily, tears running down my cheeks. It had been going so well, I had pretended this was just a trip. Now, all I could think about was Mama, facedown in the dirt, in a plain just like this one, never coming back. What if she was here, in this battlefield?

I stood there for a moment, not looking away from the ground. If I saw the battlefield one more time, I might never leave. Slowly, I flew forward, wiping the tears from my face. No matter how scared I became, I would remember why I was doing this, for Papa.

I went away from the battlefield, forever burned into my mind, and I approached a cave. It was dark inside, and I paused for a moment.

I took a few steps, the sand growing cool against my sandals. Another step and I was enveloped in darkness. But in the distance, something glowed on the cave walls. I flew forward and sighed with relief. A plant glowed, tethered to the walls. I could now see my surroundings and looked around. The cave was vast and chilly. Several different entrances were scattered around the cavern.

I flew through the tunnel. Water droplets dripped onto my head and my hands grazed moss on the walls. I heard the sound of trickling water against stone in the distance. Finally, I emerged into a natural cavern. The stream ran through, carrying clear water. An array of plants grew along the stream’s banks, glowing in the darkness.

The Graceleaf had vibrant blue leaves, I remembered. I flew over to the herb. It sprouted through the cool cavern mud, glowing a light blue. I pulled one plant out, its roots pale and dangling. I took all the sprigs I could find, and placed them in my bag carefully. I smiled and thought of Papa. His ugly gashes would close up and he wouldn’t have to lose his leg! The extra Graceleaf could help the others injured.

Time to go It’s getting dark, I thought. I hurried through the cave and back outside. It was already late afternoon, and the sun would set soon. I didn’t think of the monument, or the lake, or even the battlefield. Just the hospital and Papa.

As I entered a plain, there was the sound of flapping wings, and I hid behind a rock. Voices in the Abyssal language, rang out. I peered out carefully. There were two demons herding a crowd of scaly brown creatures. One was a young girl, the other, an older man, both with crimson skin.  I slowly got up and backed away until my foot slipped, and I fell onto the ground. The demons turned around and looked at me.  

I froze as they came closer and said something in Abyssal. The girl flew closer to me and reached out her hand. I took it reluctantly, and she helped me up.

“Are you really an angel?” she said, in accented Angelic. I nodded slowly, and she beamed, her black bat wings flapping. “Wow!” She reached out and touched my feathers. The other demon — her father I guess — looked at me distrustfully. He put an arm around the girl and pulled her back.

“Where is the outpost?” I asked. The girl cocked her head. She whispered into her father’s ear, then turned back to me.

“Over that hill,” she said and pointed at a spot to the left.

Before I flew away, she asked, “Is the sky blue in Heaven?”

I looked at her hopeful face and remembered what Papa said. “Yes,” I said and flew away. Behind me, the girl waved until I disappeared behind a dune.

***

The sun was almost completely gone by the time I saw the gates. The guard at post saw me in the distance and flew towards me. It was Flauros. “Abby, what happened? The camp was looking for you,” he said furiously. Then he hugged me.

“I’m fine, but I need to see Papa now,” I said, my face turning red, and I wriggled out of his grasp.

I flew past him and through the camp, people calling out my name. I ignored them and headed directly to the hospital. I rushed into the tent, and flew toward Papa. He was sleeping on a blanket, his feverish, red face relaxed. Charmeine was redressing his wounds and looked up when I entered.

“Where were you? You didn’t — ” I pulled a sprig of Graceleaf from my bag. She gasped and said, ”You went by yourself?”

I asked, “Can you heal Papa now?” Charmeine’s face went white, but she nodded. She took the sprig and began to mix the poultice.

“Where is she?” I heard from outside the tent, and Mama rushed in. She hugged me tightly, her face wet with tears. “I thought you were dead,” she said furiously. Her armor was still coated in dust from the day’s battle, and a bandage was wrapped around her arm.

“I’m fine, but Papa needs to be healed,” I said and looked over at Charmeine. She finished mixing the herb in a bowl, now a gooey blue substance. Carefully, she dipped her fingers into the mixture and applied it to Papa’s wounds. We watched as the rotten gashes in his leg closed, formed into angry red scars, which faded to pink, then white, then finally disappeared.

***

Flauros and I sat at the guard post. By noon, it was already a scorching day, and I wiped sweat from my face.

The past few days had been hectic. I was glad I wasn’t punished much for leaving the outpost, besides helping Charmeine with the Graceleaf garden. After Mama had a talk with him, Captain Jael suddenly retracted his threats to expel me from the outpost. Officials from Zion, Heaven’s capital city, visited, too. Wearing shiny armor and flowing robes unsuited to the desert, they gawked at the Graceleaf and how it healed every soldier in the outpost.

Earlier today, one of the Paragons approached me. Her armor hissing with smoke, she removed her golden helmet to reveal cold, yellow eyes. “Abaddon Brightsword?” she asked as I stood up from the Graceleaf I was watering. I looked at her, my eyes widening. Waves of heat rolled off of her, hotter than the desert air. “You’re an excellent candidate to become a Paragon. Don’t waste it by talking to devils.”

With that, she flew away, leaving a trail of smoke in her wake. How did she know that I talked to the demon girl and her father?

“How’s the garden going?” Flauros said, interrupting my thoughts.

“Hard to keep it watered, but we have volunteers,” I said, swinging my legs.

“What about your Pa?”

“He’s feeling much better. Should be ready to fight soon,” I said glumly. In a few days, Papa would be gone again. Hopefully, the Graceleaf would save him and the other soldiers sent to fight in this pointless war. Maybe Laylah would be safe too.

“Why so sad, Abby? You saved us,” Flauros said, wrinkling his brow.

“I’m not sad. Just thinking,” I said, looking at Hell’s horizon. The sky was such a nice color…

 

***

Epilogue

The cherub appeared at dawn. I stood, trembling in my new sandals. Mama and I had stayed up through the night to prepare, packing my bag and finding a clean tunic. She had even tried to mat down my curly hair with water, which hadn’t worked. Mama and Papa both fluttered behind me, their faces nervous.


It touched down. A thousand golden eyes blinked from the canvas of its crisp white wings.


“Abaddon Brightsword,” it stated. I clutched my bag tightly and flew forward. “You are chosen for duty in Purgatory.”

Mama gasped. Wasn’t that where Laylah was stationed? We’d stopped hearing from her a few months ago, when the devil attacks had grown more fierce.

I turned around and eyes filling with tears, hugged my parents. “Stay safe,” I told them.

“Goodbye, sweetheart,” Papa said.

“We love you.” Mama wiped away tears and pulled away. She rifled through a pocket and pulled out her dagger, in its worn leather sheath. She pressed it into my hands.

“Mama… ”

“You will be a fine soldier,” she said, and Papa nodded.

I turned my back on them and put the dagger in my belt.

“I’m ready,” I said to the cherub. A white, soft wing unfolded and wrapped around my body. The cherub took off, and I watched my parents’ forms grow small until they disappeared entirely.

 

A Lost Teen (Chapter 9)

“Listen, baby girl, I am sorry for doing that to my sister, and I told her I am sorry. I was on heavy drugs, but now I am a clean person. I have been sober for twenty-three years. I am hard on you because I don’t want you to end up like me. You are my baby girl, and your brother is my baby boy. I love you guys like yawl my kids, so when I hear my niece is pregnant, it fucking hurts.”

“Alright, Uncle Robert, I get it. Are you done? I would love to go to my room to go to sleep.”

“Yeah, you can go to sleep. I love you, London.”

“I love you too, Uncle Robert.”

London goes upstairs and goes to her room. She finds a note from Auntie, saying: Baby girl I love you and I know what’s going on yes I am disappointed, but shit happens, and I am going to be there for you your whole pregnancy.

“Thank you Auntie, at least I know somebody from my family is going to be there,” she says aloud to herself. Then, she heads to bed.

When she wakes up, her aunt is right in front of her. It’s like London can feel her aunt breathe on her.

“What the fuck, Auntie? What is you doing in my room? Get out. Let me sleep in peace,” London jumps up and says with anger in her voice.

“You’ve been sleeping all day, so I came in here to check up on you, and plus, your boyfriend keeps calling and getting on my last nerve.”

“Well, you get on my nerves. I’m trying to rest, and I can’t because my aunt is being annoying, so I might as well just get up and go to my boyfriend’s house,” London says, annoyed.

“Hey London, Uncle Robert wants you, and it sounds like something wrong. Come on,” Samad says, worried.

“What do you want, Uncle?” said London.

“Something bad happened today with your dad.”

Samad yells, “What the fuck happened?”

“He died this morning at 2:30AM.”

Samad throws the kitchen chair at his uncle and says, “You fucking lying. You just want to ruin my life because your life is ruined,” with tears flowing down his face. His sister and his aunt comfort him in the kitchen, while his Uncle is in shock that his nephew just threw a chair in his face.

“S-S-S-Samad, I’m not trying to ruin your life. What’s in it for me? I really love you guys,” Robert says with a strict, stern face.

He jumps when London says, “I’m out of here,” with hand motions.

“Where are you going little girl?” Auntie shouts with frustration. “This house is out of control. Everyone come and sit down in the living room now.”

They all come to the living room with their attitudes, but they listen as their aunt and sisters speak. They would never disrespect her. It’s like she has taken their mother’s spot. Her orders in the house are that London and her boyfriend have to be back in the house by 9 PM every day, and that Samad has to come in the house by 8 PM today. And everyone must respect their uncle and themselves.

London has some disagreements. Samad agrees, but has some comments.

Auntie says, “I am not going to be stressed out. I have kids of my own, so if you don’t want to follow my rules and be tough, then you can get the fuck out.”

“You not my mom, and you don’t pay the rent, so I don´t have to do shit you say,” says London rolling her neck and pointing her finger at her aunt.

¨You so right, you can even be wrong. I am not your mother, and I don’t pay the rent, but you will respect me,” Auntie says and smacks her niece in the face. ¨So you can pack your shit up and leave if you don’t agree. Do you understand me, Ms. Renee Johnson?”

¨Yes, I do, Tisha Monae Johnson,” London says with tears coming down her face. She goes to her brother and says sadly, ¨You are going to let her do this to me? She slapped me and talked to me disrespectfully… But I have do respect for my aunt.”

 

Ilse in America

Part Eins

The train squeaks; it needs to be oiled soon. It lurches into motion, and Ilse tightens her hold on her small, little knapsack. Her cap, a woolen, ratty, brown one that her mother knitted for her, almost falls off her head, and she pushes it back as she staggers to get a steady grip on one of the balance poles.

Through foggy glass, Ilse can see the station sign on a bar on the platform: Berlin Friedrichstraße. This will be her last look at this station — her last look at Germany, her home — for quite a while.

Her stomach seems to go in loops, and her eyes blur as the back of her throat burns with sorrowful tears. It’s her home, Germany, and while she would not like to admit it, Germany isn’t safe for girls like her anymore, for people like her anymore…

Ilse wishes her parents, her Mother and Father, were coming, so they could be safe too. All people like her are being persecuted, oppressed, killed. Just due to their Jewishness.

Es ist das ganze Führer schuld (It’s all the Fuhrer’s fault), she thinks in German grudgingly, as she cannot speak English. Er ist der grund, warum ich meine familie verlassen! (He is the reason I have to leave my family!)

The train is moving steadily now, and Ilse looks frantically out the foggy window, searching for a last trace of her parents. It might very well be the last time she ever sees them. For it is 1939. The war is starting, and the Third Reich is looking for Jews to kill, to send away, to abuse. And she has to leave her country, her Germany, without her parents because it isn’t safe anymore.

“Wir kommen und holen sie, sobald wir aus Deutschland bekommen können,” (We will come and get you as soon as we can get out of Germany) they said to her, just last night, as she packed only a few necessities into her knapsack. “Dann können wir sicher in Österreich leben, nur um die drei von uns, ohne sorgen.” (Then we can live safely in Austria, just the three of us, with no worries.)

Ilse accepted and argued no further. But she could not help the thoughts that swirled into her head. Aber ich will nicht alle von meinem einsamen, nach Österreich zu gehen, bis sie leben mit mir kommen können. Was ist, wenn meine neue mutter nicht gut ist? Was ist, wenn sie nicht aus Deutschland kommen? Was passiert, wenn du dich selbst getötet hat? Und was ist Österreich ist wie hier, Deutschland, wo Juden ducken müssen und zu verstecken? Was geschieht, wenn wir sterben? Was wäre wenn… (But I don’t want to go to Austria all by my lonesome until you can come live with me. What if my new mother isn’t kind? What if you can’t get out of Germany? What if you’re even killed? And what if Austria is just like here, Germany, where Jews must cower and hide? What if we die? What if…)

She sees them, just under the station sign. It’s hard to in a sea of parents who also bid their children goodbye. But there’s no mistaking her mother’s chestnut hair and her father’s ocean blue eyes, both of which she inherited.

More tears spread to her eyes, and everything seems to sink in another layer. She’s leaving Berlin, her home for all her fourteen years. She’s leaving Liesl, her Lutheran best friend who also hated Nazis and what they were doing to the Jews and others of the country. She’s leaving her parents. She’s leaving her life, which is now rolled up in a big, three-hundred millimeter knapsack, jumbled up and uncertain. She’s going to Austria, a country she has only heard tales of, where they at least speak German so she’ll understand people, but she will be an outsider, looking in on a nation holding hands in a circle. She will just be that little Jewish girl in the corner.

She stands at the window, now hysterically sobbing, saying her farewells as her parents struggle against the crowd to come to the window and touch her hand for the last time in a while. But it’s too hard, and the train pulls away, leaving her parents at the wrath of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis.

Many children sit on the train as well, varying in age, color, and gender. But they all have the same reason for leaving and the same destination. This seems to give them a strange, tragic bond.

Ilse sees a short, blonde girl of around eight, her hair ratty, her face so dirty that her tears form clear streaks on her face. Ilse’s heart wrenches as she sees the four other kids following her, all mirror images of her, obviously siblings. It hurts her that a girl of such young age is now entrusted with the whole of her very large family.

For some reason, she feels guilty of her lack of siblings. She, Ilse Rosen, has always been an only child, so does not carry the burden of siblings. This seems to make her even more sad, being around this broken family of five, and she walks to the back of the car to find another pole; the seats are all taken.

Ilse tucks one of her two chestnut braids behind her ear under the cap, which is beginning to fall apart at the seams. She blinks her blue eyes and fiddles with her necklace, a talisman of her religion with a tiny Torah inside of it.

Too many people crowd the windows for her to see out of them; so she settles against the pole, feeling the cold metal against her skin.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but all of a sudden, she jolts awake. It’s later in the day, and she can tell she isn’t in Germany anymore; a sign on a train platform reads “Wien Westbahnhof.” She has arrived in Austria.

The train is abuzz with motion, voices, and — for some reason — shouts and yells. Confused, Ilse turns back to the window —

— and it speeds away from the platform.

Ilse starts to panic. Her mind seems to go numb, wondering what just happened.

She was supposed to go to Austria, was she not? And the whole of the train? So why are they pulling away from the train station she has a ticket for?

The little, blonde girl she saw earlier stands next to her, keeping close watch on the little ones. She seems fairly calm — maybe she knows what is happening?

“Was ist los? Wohin gehen wir?” (What’s happening? Where are we going?) Ilse asks the girl, trying to keep the note of fear out of her voice.

“Hast du nicht gehört?” (Did you not hear) replies the girl. “Österreich wurde gestern abend überfallen. Die Nazis sind jetzt da. Juden — sie suchten wir sie. Es ist wie Deutschland. Wir gehen nach Amerika statt, glaube ich.” (Austria was invaded last night. The Nazis are there now. Jews — they’re being looked for. It’s like Germany. We’re going to America instead, I think.)

In that moment, it feels as if Ilse’s life is over. America? America? A whole continent away? Where they don’t speak German? Where Ilse will be having her temporary family?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No!

She succumbs to tears as the train speeds on.

 

Part Zwei

The next few days are a blur of travel for Ilse. Planes, boats, automobiles, a jumble of English words she cannot understand. People crowd the boat she’s on to get to where she’s going — Ellis Island, New York.

But then she pulls into the dock. There’s a large line full of other refugees, and there’s a tall woman with a clipboard. She reads off names of children.

Finally, she calls “Annie Johnson and Ilse Rosen?”

Ilse stands there awkwardly, until two women — one mother, one daughter — come and take her away. She guesses they are her foster family. The older woman smiles at her, the younger scowls and steps on Ilse’s foot as they walk away from the dock.

Ilse looks back to the ship she’s just left. There’s a big, green statue of a woman holding a torch of some sort. It fascinates Ilse. What is it?

She runs to an automobile, tagging along beside her foster mother (Annie: a tall, white woman with short, curly, blonde hair and yellow-amber eyes) and her foster sister (Mary Jane: a fifteen-year-old girl with the same looks as her mother, except she looks very annoyed by Ilse.)

She gets in the car and buckles her seatbelt. Ilse smiles sadly, remembering her parents’ automobile and how they used to drive all over Berlin. Her parents! Do they know she’s not in Austria? Are they okay?
“All right, sweetie,” says Annie, looking back at Ilse with a warm smile. In English, oh no, English, Ilse can’t understand, oh no! “We’re going to the end of Long Island, okay? Do you know what that is?”

Ilse tells Annie she cannot understand. “Ich kann nicht verstehen irh Englisch.” (I cannot understand your English)

Annie furrows her eyebrows, not understanding Ilse either. Mary Jane laughs. Ilse has a bad feeling about that — is Mary Jane laughing at her?

Oh, das wird Spaß machen, wenn meine eigenen Familienmitglieder gemein zu mir sind. Mutter, Vater, wo bist du jetzt? (Oh, this is going to be fun when my own family members are mean to me. Mother, Father, where are you now?)

***

The next day is Ilse’s first day of school, at least in America. She figures out that she and Mary Jane are the same age, so they will be in the same classroom. Ilse doesn’t quite know how to feel about this. Will Mary Jane be nasty to her at school as well?

New York City, where Ilse is, is a giant, majestic, beautiful, and very busy city. But they all speak English. It’s exactly like she imagined — Ilse is an outsider.

Ilse sits down at her desk, next to Mary Jane, who instantly moves away. Mary Jane begins to gossip in English with her friends. Ilse grudgingly thinks that the girls are talking about her, as they keep staring and laughing at her.

Finally, class commences. The teacher is a short, fat woman called Mrs. Waldon. She looks very strict with a slight unibrow, beady eyes, and a sharp nose. She wears a pink blazer, a white button-down, and a matching pink skirt.

“Good morning, class,” says Mrs. Waldon.

“Good morning, Mrs. Waldon,” the class chants in unison. Should Ilse say something too? Puzzled, she tries to imitate their sound.

“Gud mohrneng, Meesus Weldan,” she says loudly.

Some kid at the back whispers “I hope she thinks Mrs. Waldon is fat.” Wow, what a compliment to the teacher! Or, at least, she thinks it’s a compliment. But she decides to imitate the statement anyway.

“I sinke dat uoo ar efat,” she says, proud that she can imitate English.

Mrs. Waldon goes bright red and looks murderous as the class cackles in laughter. Mrs. Waldon marches to her desk, picks up a long, flat wand, and raps Ilse on the back of her hand, leaving an angry wound.

Ilse, just as angry now, whispers “Saukerl,” (Bastard) the only curse word she dares speak.

“What did you say?” demands Mrs. Waldon.

Ilse decides that maybe she will benefit from imitating the teacher. “Vwaat deed uooo seay?”

The teacher turns purple and looks as if she will hit Ilse again when Mary Jane speaks.

“She doesn’t know English,” Mary Jane says quietly. “Don’t blame her, she just is imitating sound.”

Ilse isn’t sure if Mary Jane has said something good or bad, but she feels grateful when Mrs. Waldon lowers her wand.

“Not even a syllable?” Mrs. Waldon asks Mary Jane.

“No,” Mary Jane replies.

“Then she will have to go to the kindergarten and learn the alphabet,” says Mrs. Waldon decisively.

The class now roars with laughter for reasons she cannot understand. But then, something clicks in her brain.

Kindergarten? It’s a German word. And that’s where the little ones go to to learn the alphabet and numbers.

Oh, no! Oh, no, oh no, oh no!

Ilse can’t go to kindergarten, she just can’t! She’s fourteen, not five! She covers her eyes with her hands, feeling hot tears leak out of them, and sobs very loudly. She sobs so loudly that the sound bounces along the classroom walls, and everyone moans and stops laughing.

“Oh, for God’s sake, shut up, will ya?” says the voice of the boy who Ilse imitated. He walks in front of her desk, scowling, and then kicks her foot under the table.

Mary Jane laughs and sidles up next to him.

“Saukerl!” Ilse screeches, and spits on his shoes.

“Hey!” the boy shouts. “What does that even mean? And oh my god, how dare a Jewish girl spit on my shoes!”

She understands the word “Jewish” and the message this boy is trying to convey. The tears pouring down her cheeks are full of rage now, positive hatred and rage. She kicks him.

The boy starts toward her and pulls one of her braids very hard. Ilse howls and kicks, kicks at everything on him, toes flailing, until he stops.

“Thomas,” Mary Jane is saying, flushed and slightly upset. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her mouth points downward a little bit. “Stop it!”

Thomas lets go of Ilse, sneers at her, and walks back to his desk. Mary Jane glares at Ilse and then walks back to her desk as well.

It bothers Ilse that the teacher saw none of this happen. She’s telling the principal that Ilse must go to the kindergarten.

This day is not starting out well.

Finally, Mrs. Waldon comes back and drags Ilse outside of the building, which is called M.S. 181. They walk for a very long time, until they stop at P.S. 285.

Mrs. Waldon drops Ilse off at the first room on the right, Kindergarten #1. It’s a cold and immaculate room with several tables, a large desk and a bookshelf, and the cursive and regular alphabet tacked up to the wall.

Ilse sees many small, rowdy kids, and flushes in embarrassment. She doesn’t belong here, right now, in this room.

A tall, lean, ugly woman walks up to Ilse. “Helllllooooo,” she drawls. “Whaaaaat isss yoooour naaaaame?”

So she thinks talking slowly will help Ilse understand? Ilse feels white-hot anger prickle at her skin and insides.

The woman walks to the wall and points at the letter “A.”

“Aaaaay,” she says. “Aaaaaay foooorrrr aaaapppleeeee,”

Ilse moans and puts her head in her hands.

***

Finally! Finally, finally, the day is over!

Ilse has left kindergarten nowhere close to learning English, so she guesses she will be back there tomorrow. But at the moment, Ilse doesn’t care. She’s free!

But she’s lost in the alleys near P.S. 285, which isn’t good. She tentatively takes another step, hoping to find Mary Jane or a way home.

All of a sudden, her head bashes into the brick wall, hard. She swears she can see stars, but when her vision clears, she sees the face of Thomas, who has turned her around and is pressing her against the wall. His friends are behind him — including Mary Jane — laughing and giggling. Her heart sinks. But when she looks at Mary Jane again, Mary Jane looks positively uncomfortable with her mouth in a straight line. Is she feeling remorse?

Ilse squirms and tries to yell, but Thomas covers her mouth.

“How was the little Jew in kindergarten today?” he sneers.

Ilse screams, muffled against his hand.

“Talk to me! Did you have fun kicking me earlier today, huh?” Thomas shouts.

“No!” Ilse pleads, using the only English word she knows.

“Now I’m going to return the favor!” Thomas releases Ilse, and she falls to the ground. Ilse wills herself not to cry.

“You’ve gone too far!” gasps a voice.

Another boy pins her down by her feet as Thomas kicks her in the gut.

“Stop it!” yells Mary Jane, the voice she’s just heard, as Thomas kicks Ilse again. Mary Jane pries Thomas away.

Thomas stops kicking Ilse, as Mary Jane pleads. “Don’t kick her like that! Can’t you tell you made her angry before? You had no right to insult her religion!”

“Whose side are you on?” Thomas asks in disgust.

“Not yours!”

Ilse can’t understand this conversation, but she does know that Mary Jane just stuck up for her, and she is grateful. Mary Jane grabs Ilse’s hand and pulls her along. Thomas tries to grab Ilse back, but settles for a last kick on her lower back as the girls walk away.

They walk in silence for a while as they get toward home.

“Danke,” Ilse says, and Mary Jane seems to understand.

“You’ve got to learn English, girl.”

   

Part Drei

The next few weeks, Ilse doesn’t have to go to kindergarten. Because Mary Jane stays up half the night with her, teaching her English, and it works. They find alphabet books, and Mary Jane goes over each letter and word with Ilse until she understands. Ilse can now speak pretty fluently!

She’s glad she opened up to Mary Jane and accepted her help.

It’s May now, and Ilse sits down at her desk in Mrs. Waldon’s room.

“Good morning, class,” says Mrs. Waldon.

“Good morning, Mrs. Waldon,” smiles Ilse.

“Ilse, would you please pass out the new schedules for the fourth quarter?” Mrs. Walden asks politely.

Ilse’s smile is very wide, proud that she can speak English. “Yes, ma’am.”

So that makes her feel very proud, but the thing that makes her the most proud?

The day after she learned how to, she walked up to Thomas with Mary Jane. “You asked what it meant.”

Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Speak English now, do you?”

“Yes. You asked what ‘Saukerl’ meant, and I am going to tell you,” Ilse said with a smirk. “It means ‘bastard’. Seems to fit you, does it not?”

She left him with his mouth dropped open.

Ilse feels glorified. She fits into America, she speaks English, and she has a friend whom she can fight bullies with. She misses Germany and her home and family, but for right now, she is happy in America.

Ilse in America, she thinks to herself now, passing around the schedules. Who woulda thunk?

 

The Future in Blood (Excerpt)

Front, back. Forward, backward. Those were the only thoughts going through my head as I pushed off each wall and drifted towards another one. I moved my arms and legs to avoid the obstacles in my room: my glass, my pillow, my desk, and a case full of metal fingers.

Oh yeah, I should probably tell you. I’m missing the first two fingers of my right hand. I’ve said it. Let’s get on with the story.

I pushed off my desk and grabbed the case. I pulled it open and grabbed two fingers from the top left, checking the label as I did. Smoke bombs, good. I opened up a plastic case and took out two smoke bombs. I checked my watch and cursed. I pushed towards the door and got out, drifting down as gravity returned to normal. I got into a small cubicle and pressed a button. An instant later, I was standing in a cubicle that looked the exact same, teleported to the race I was going to.

I lined up in front of it and was told to go to my spot.

“Finn? Number 28? Over here.”

I walked over to my spot and noticed someone standing next to me. She was young and looked to be about 12.

I asked her, “Are you sure you can do this race? Is there an age limit?”

“Nope!” she replied. “That’s the beauty of it!”

“Okay,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Ready?” I got into position.

“Set?” I got ready to push off.

“Go!” I shot off the starting plate like a bullet, then jumped clean over the first obstacle. I rolled under the next one and got to the barbed wire. I crawled under it slowly, then pushed up. I looked ahead. Was I in first? I couldn’t see anyone in front of me, but then someone passed me. I looked and saw that it was the little girl who was next to me.

“She is not going to beat me,” I muttered. The rest of the race, we were neck and neck. I would be ahead for one part, then she would pass me. We were almost at the end of the race. I could see the finish. She put on a burst of speed. Time to go for it. I sped up and passed her when she was barely a hundred yards from the finish. I kept going as fast as I could and was there almost instantly. I looked back and saw her right behind me.

“Good job,” I said.

She shook my hand and said, “You too. What’s your name?”

“Finn. Finn Lawliet. Yours?”

“Mykhaila Rubio. See you!” And she went into a teleporter. I decided to walk to where I was going next. I had to be careful, as I was going through a shady neighborhood where there had been murders before.

I forgot to tell you. Our world is broken. We may have teleporters and other high-tech things, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have crime and corruption. The “event” I was going to? A forced one where if you do well, you could be drafted into the military. And if you get there late, you could be sentenced to death.

I was walking through a bad neighborhood where two people were murdered last week, and the government didn’t even care. Their bodies were still there, for all I knew. And then there was this new threat. The government tried to create sentient life, and they created it alright. They made these animals that kind of look like giant spiders with metal legs. They can read your memory and spin a silk cocoon that looks like someone you love to kill you. The only good thing is that if you know that that person isn’t there, then you just kill them. Except they don’t die easily.

“Finn?” I heard. I knew that voice, and I turned around slowly. My sister stood behind me, holding a bloody kitchen knife.

“This guy was following you,” she said, nudging a dead man with blood welling up from his chest. I pulled out a combat knife, and I walked toward her slowly. Then, when I was in arm’s reach, I stabbed her with the point of my knife. She let out a screech, and bright cyan blood spurted out of her abdomen. She stabbed toward me with her knife, and I ducked underneath it and swept her legs out from under her. I prepared to puncture her windpipe.

“You wouldn’t hurt your own sister, would you?”

“You’re not my sister.”

She let out one final screech, then the silk crumpled into a ball, and a spider crawled out and tried to scuttle away. I stopped her with my boot, and then stomped on her head. I heard her neck crack, and a bone poked out of her neck. She started to laugh, then crawled back into the cocoon, blood gurgling out of her neck. God, I was going to have nightmares. I mean, who stabs their own sister? It was just so messed up, and that’s why so many people die facing these things. Most of them can’t bring themselves to hurt their wife, or child, or parents. I had to get moving. The government would be coming soon to get me for the military. I pulled my knife out and wiped it on her shirt. I slid it into the sheath and shuddered as a few drops of blood splattered onto my shirt. I just stabbed my sister. No! It wasn’t my sister! I can’t think like that. I’ll end up going crazy. My sister is still alive somewhere,and I have to find her. I can’t let what happened to my mother happen to her. I should probably tell you, even though it’s a bad memory. Here it is.

It was the middle of the night when I heard the scream. I sat bolt upright in bed and ran to the door, my sister beside me. In my mother’s room, my father was about to stab my mother. But my father was running up behind us from his office. The man who looked like my father brought the knife down. Blood splattered everywhere. My vision turned red, and I couldn’t think clearly. I ran at the man and kicked him in the head. I heard something get crushed, like paper, and he fell to the floor. He got back up, his head at a funny angle. He grinned lopsidedly, his jaw crumpled up. I grabbed the knife from where he had dropped it and stabbed him in the head. His brains started to spill out, along with spurts of cyan blood. He started to shrivel up, and out of the shriveled ball came a huge spider with shiny legs. I kicked the spider to make sure he was dead. He didn’t respond, so I grabbed him and pulled him towards the window. One of his legs shot out and sliced the two first fingers of my right hand off. I yelled and threw him out the window, then sank to the floor cradling my hand.

There. I told you. Let’s get back to the story now. So, I was crouching in the middle of an alley, a dead crumpled girl and man lying by my feet. I stood up. Time to go. I ran at a wall and jumped off, grabbing a fire escape. I climbed up and jumped, grabbing the roof with my hands. I pulled myself up and ran across it. When I was about three rooftops away, I went down the fire escape.

“Hey you! Stop right there!” I turned around slowly and raised my hands slowly. Two uniformed officers were pointing tasers at me.

“You’re Finn Lawliet?”

“Yes,” I grumbled. “Can we do this some other time? ‘I’m kind of busy right –”

“You placed first in the race, and she placed second?” He pointed to Mykhaila, who I hadn’t noticed before. She was in handcuffs.

“You know, you’re not supposed to put her in handcuffs.”

“She resisted.”

3… I thought. 2… 1… “Just let me get some –” I shot a smoke bomb at the floor. Under the cover of smoke, I ran at the officers, hit them both in the temple, and grabbed their keys. I tried to fit a key in the handcuffs lock. “Wrong one. Typical,” I muttered. It took me three tries to get the right key.

“Thanks,” she said. “But, could you use the right key first?”

I rolled my eyes for the second time that day, knowing that it wouldn’t be the last.

“Come on,” I said.

“Where are we going?”

“The military will be back to try to get us again. Do you want to get caught?”

“I guess not…”

I didn’t wait around to argue anymore. I dropped the keys and the handcuffs, and walked off to the nearest teleporter station. I put in a set of coordinates that would take me and Mykhaila, who was next to me, to somewhere in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The teleporter said it didn’t recognize the coordinates as the location of another teleporter, so I clicked the box with “Not found” on it twice, an exploit that I knew. I was teleported to a pod on an island somewhere in the Arctic, at a resistance location known only to a few people.

I said at the wall, “Finn Lawliet, and guest.” The door slid open, and I walked out into a room full of people lounging on chairs or couches.

“Who’s that?” one of the people said, a woman sitting on the back of a sofa. “You know that you can’t just bring new people without aski –”

“Whatever. We’re here because we’re rule breakers, not keepers.”

“Fine. He’s in the back.”

“He’s always in the back,” I replied.

I told Mykhaila, “Come with me,” and walked to the back room. When I got close, I could hear pings and electronic beeps coming from behind the door. I pushed it open and leaned against a wall.

“What’d you do to deserve boss position?” I said to the man playing pinball against the left wall.

“Hmm, lets see. I founded this group, I fought off the dictator of this country, and I kept the resistance alive. Who’s the girl?”

“She can tell you herself, I think.”

“I’m Mykhaila Rubio,” she blurted out.

“And? What do you do? Achievements? Age?”

“I’m twelve years old, I placed second in the annual drafting race, and I’m an assassin.”

“Did she beat you?” the boss asked.

“Of course not,” I snapped back. “You know I’m the fastest one here.”

“You. Mykhaila and Finn. Fight.”

“What?!” we both said.  

“She claims she’s an assassin. I’m testing her.”

“Fine,” I said, mumbling under my breath and rolling my eyes again. Third time. I settled into a combat stance, and got ready.

“Go!” I jumped up and shot out a smoke bomb. I’d have to replenish those soon. I clung to a pipe on the ceiling and scanned for Mykhaila. I saw a shadow below me moving, and I knew it was her. The boss wouldn’t be stupid enough to be moving. I opened a skylight and waited. I was about to do the most clichéd move in history. I jumped down, kicked her up into the sky, and jumped up beside her. I was about to kick her down, when something hit me in the back. I landed crouching and waited for the rest of the smoke to leave through the skylight. I saw Mykhaila, along with a crumpled dummy lying on the ground.

“Is that –”

“Yes. One of them attacked my brother as me, and I kept the silk. It works well for that type of thing.”

“Okay, I’ve seen enough,” yelled the boss.

“You’re good,” he said to Mykhaila, “So I have a job for the two of you. Assassinate him. The dictator. Our ruler. Whatever you want to call him. ”

“Consider it done.”

 

The Beautiful Observer

I am an observer. I am not a participator. Chuck O’Malley is the participator. I think that was the root of the collision.

“That’s right, sir!” a well-fed smile informed me. “Just straight-up coffee and lattés.”

“So you don’t serve frappuccinos? Of any kind?”

“No, sir.” The cashier leaned into me, her eyes twinkling as if she could be telling me the location of some secret treasure. “But I can get the latté iced for you, if you want.”

I rolled my eyes and moodily produced my wallet. It was embarrassingly tattered. Needed to be replaced. I made a mental note. “Fine. How much is that?”

“The what?”

“The bow in your hair,” I snapped sarcastically. The corners of the cashier’s mouth suddenly flipped quite the opposite direction, and her sausage-like fingers shot up and fumbled with the frighteningly pink ribbon they found there. I sighed. “No, the iced latté.”

The smile was back. “Three twenty-five, sir.”

I had moved to Milton two days ago. It was named after the author, of course. I couldn’t have approved of the decision more, for to me, the town was truly a Paradise Lost. Four years of university education for a cramped apartment in a spot I had only been able to find on one map (and that was in the visitors’ center).

Oh, yes, I’d found a way to pay off my student loans. The blog paid for those. But living in New York? Aye, there’s the rub. So, I had moved to Milton. I had settled in my apartment, and I had bought a latté.

I trudged away from the counter and found a comfortable spot near the window, far from humanity. I opened my laptop and allowed the blue glow of the screen to wash over my face. I scanned the words that greeted me there.

Anonymously Collins

That was me— or rather, my blog. I had christened it as such, hoping there would be enough Collins’ at university to disguise my identity as Henry Collins, the guy who never scored a touchdown but scored a million followers and ten sponsors instead.

I began to type.

“Hiya.” It was a curious figure who interrupted the flawless, rhythmic tapping of my fingertips against the keys. I had been in perfect flow, relaying the recent stupidity of my cashier and artistically declaring my opinion on the declining employee standards of 21st century America. “Chuck O’Malley, at your service.” A large, expectant hand was suspended right in front of my nose, blocking my view of the words I was typing. It was hairy— very hairy; a wart-speckled lump of rough, weathered skin, smelling of mustard and smoke. There was no avoiding it. I met his gaze.

“Henry.”

I almost felt sorry for him. The contrast between our two expressions could not have been more apparent. His smile was almost as big as his hand. I knew mine was nonexistent. His face reminded me of a bulldog’s, wrinkled and dimpled and splotched in almost every area possible, likely out of the pure exertion of maintaining such enthusiasm for existence. I expected mine looked more like a Chihuahua’s.

“Henry. Good name. New around here, aren’t you?”

I silently prayed a disinterested grunt would suffice to move him away.

It didn’t.

“You know,” he announced, pulling up a chair and plopping himself down across from me, “I once saved the life of a man named Henry.”

With all the subtlety I could muster, I attempted to catch the eye of a sympathetic employee. The cashier was thoroughly engrossed in picking a new song for the shop’s playlist. I made a mental note to report this once I was comfortably separated from the situation.

“Yup. See, I was walking down a bridge one night—  dark and horrid old place to begin with, only one working lamp on the thing, and even that was flickering.”

I sipped my latté. It tasted like smoke and mustard.

“Well, I see a blur I knew wasn’t usually there. Now, I’ll be the first to tell you I have the eyesight of a blind possum, but I says to myself, ‘That blur sure as hell looks just like the shape of a man!’ So I walk a little further. And, by God, it was a man. He was standing on the rail of the bridge, shakin’ and quiverin’, like one of them vibrating toys the ladies use. You’re a smart looking man, so you know that can only mean one thing.” He was still smiling, displaying each yellow tooth with ardent pride. This struck me as odd, considering the gravity of the account.

“So I start walking over to him. But Henry, I swear to you, the minute I put my foot down, the bastard jumps! Now I’m not the type to give up an’ call it quits just like that, no sir. I run down the side of that bridge, ripping my shirt and belt off and probably lookin’ like a chased chicken, and I plunge right into that icy cold water. You ever sat on a glacier, Henry?”

I shook my head.

“Well, lemme tell you, my ass was half frozen sitting on them glaciers in Alaska, but it was full frozen that night.”

Chuck continued to expound upon his adventure with an intriguing combination of verbal dramatics and charades. He showed me the stroke he used to reach the drowning citizen, held up my arm to visually express the depth of the water, and even roped an unassuming chair into the business by trapping it under his bulging arm to represent the position of the man as he was dragged to shore.

I did not know whether to be profoundly impressed or excusably repelled. It was a fascinating spectacle, this man, with his mid-air freestyle and unapologetic clichés. His eyes were almost glass-like; the faded kind you find by the sea. They sparkled under the haze of his age as the story intensified, a mixture of youth and decay I had scarcely seen in any other human being.

As the narrative came to a close, I found myself not quite as relieved as I had previously anticipated, but, rather, invigorated— launched into a new direction. Our conversation dwindled, I made my excuses with as much tact as possible, and we said our goodbyes.

***

The curiosity was that, after receiving a large amount of success in school, my blog had recently begun to decline due to internet trolls. These unidentified critics had taken upon themselves the duty of reminding me in the comments of every post that not everyone was interested in complaint articles— that the rest of the world wanted good news; a hero to root for, a champion. I had not found many of these in my experience, nor was I a fiction writer, therefore I had thoroughly disregarded these comments… and the sponsor notes… and the rapidly declining number of followers. But Chuck was a champion— a real-life, down-to-earth hero. His story could be the post I needed— perhaps the one that would get me back to New York.

I saved my draft and returned to the charming cashier. She had taken to blowing bubbles nearly as large as her face with her pink gum, loudly smacking it between attempts.

“Do you know that guy?” I whispered, producing a blue notebook and a ballpoint pen from my pocket. Carefully hiding it under the counter, I scribbled out a brief overview of Chuck’s story while awaiting her response (she had been mid-bubble).

“Of course I know him.” She finally chomped. “That’s Chuck. He comes here all day, every day.”

“Does he?” I mused, hardly interested in his daily schedule. “And do you know anything about this rescue he performed? The suicide incident? You did see him perform it for me, didn’t you?”

“Oh, I saw him. He does carry on.”

I chuckled.

“I see you’re a cynic, too. But really, you don’t believe him?”

“Do you?”

Her round, pale hand was pointing to another customer who had been sitting alone in the opposite corner of the shop. I say “had been” because he was quite the opposite of alone just now. Chuck was positioned directly across from him, standing on a chair, yelling down at some unseen damsel supposedly trapped in a cavern below. He then proceeded to jump off the chair, retrieve a stray cup lying on the ground, lasso the top of the chair with a mimed rope and hoist himself up onto it again. Then, with a flourish, he plunked the plastic cup back down on the table and triumphantly declared, “And that’s how I rescued her!” The man in the opposite corner sighed and warily returned to his reading.

“Are you saying he tells these stories to everyone who walks in?” I gawked. Being a man of the world, I considered myself the least likely person to underestimate the extent of human flaw, but this was a phenomenon I could never have anticipated.

The cashier nodded mournfully. “Different story every time. Always some sort of rescue, like he’s the town hero. I expect he’ll be wanting us to make him mayor before long.”

“Well, it’s certainly bad from a business standpoint,” I grunted, stuffing my notebook and pen back into my pocket in a decidedly deflated manner. “He has to be deterring customers. I know I won’t be coming back. Why don’t you kick him out?”

“Boss’ rules. I keep tryin’ to tell her, but she always says we can’t turn out Chuck. Sometimes I wonder if she’s taken a fancy to him.”

“Not likely,” I muttered, wrinkling my nose at having just caught a stray whiff of smoke and mustard.

I published my cashier post that night. The usual comments, naturally ensued. I was steadfastly determined not to return to Miss B’s Coffee House, mainly to press the point that inaction would inevitably deter customers, but somehow the idea of Chuck would not escape my mind. He was useless as an article subject (the one thing worse than the absence of a hero is a fake hero), yet nevertheless the mere fact of his existence and the questions that he raised relentlessly taunted my brain. Why did he spend every day of his life at a coffee shop from dawn to dusk? Was there any truth to his unfathomable tales? And, most irritating of all, what was his motive?

It was either these questions or the incessant banging of my upstairs neighbors that kept me awake and sweating in my bed that night.

***

About five o’clock the next evening, I found myself returned to precisely the same table in Miss B’s Coffee House. Apparently, in a battle between a stubborn boycott and the ties of curiosity, curiosity will, inevitably prevail.

I regretted it the moment I sat down.

“Henry!” He announced my presence with a boisterous cry and a charismatic embrace. “You still carrying that computer around? What are you, some kind of spy?”

“Almost.” I smiled feebly. “I’m a blogger.” The twinkle in his eye had suddenly been snuffed out and replaced by a look of stunned confusion. “I write articles and post them online.” Still no signs of comprehension. “On the computer.”

In a flash of revelation, the glint was restored. I secretly welcomed its return. “Well, why didn’t you say so?” he mirthfully snorted. “Now, Henry, I’ve got just the story for your next little computer article. See, a few years ago I found a nice looking young lady, probably no more than sixteen years old, caught up in a nail right in the middle of a railroad track…”

A miniature woman— no more than five feet, and furnished with a pristine, black bun deliberately knotted atop her dainty head— had emerged from the back of the store and was speaking to the young cashier in a firm, adamant voice.

“Miss B?” I called out, hardly knowing why. I rose from my seat and left Chuck to carry the teenager-on-a-train-track story to his next victim. She did not acknowledge my presence until just before retreating into the back room.

“Yes?”

I knew it had been her. Something about that fastidious bun had screamed the name to me. “Henry Collins.” I offered my hand and most trustworthy smile. She shook the hand, but seemed skeptical of the rest. “I just had a few questions about Chuck.” I lowered my voice (even though there was no question of him hearing, as his own voice was loud enough to engulf every conversation in the room, regardless of volume). “I thought you might be the woman to tell me. First, why does he stay here all day, and—”

“Mr. O’Malley does as he pleases, and we’re happy to host him, Mr. Collins. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

The response was so cryptic, so rehearsed, that it automatically made me stiff. I forced myself into a somewhat casual stance and repositioned my credible expression.

“I don’t think you understand. I’m a blogger. I write articles on the computer.”

“I know what a blogger is.”

“Then you know what kind of business a story like this could attract,” I continued, refusing to be flustered by this miniature woman and her laconic replies. “Obviously, I can’t make you any promises, but if you could assure me even one of his stories is true, this could be ‘Miss B’s Coffee House, Home of the Famous Chuck O’Malley’ before long.”

“There’s nothing that needs be famous about Mr. O’Malley or my coffee shop,” she replied, coolly as ever.

In my excitement, I had come so close to her face I could see the silver hairs mingled within that unshakable, stubborn bun. I sighed. “Alright, I understand. But would you at least tell me why you just let him hang around like this? I’m sure you’re aware of the implications for your customers.”

“The way I see it, there are some things you just don’t mess with.”

I opened my mouth to object, but was cut off by the pigtailed cashier: “You should ask him about Winifred.” Miss B fired an icy glare in her direction. It was the most expression I had seen on her face until now. That’s how I knew it was something worthwhile.

“Winifred?”

“Watch this,” the cashier giggled. “This”, seemed to delight her almost as much as the prospect of an iced latté the day before. I observed dutifully. “Hey, Chuck,” she yelled. “Tell Mr. Henry about Winifred.”

The glint in his eye was snuffed out entirely. He returned the chair he had been holding to its place upon the floor— slowly, as if it were a small child who may fall if set loose too quickly. The milky haze about his eyes seemed thicker, and for a moment you could hardly see the blue lying hidden inside. He sat down.

“They make the beautiful obscene,” he whispered.

It was the strangest sentence to hear hissing through Chuck’s lips. Admittedly, just minutes before, I would not have supposed he knew how to say it. He turned to face the window at the same time, meditatively inspecting the fog and the damp that clung to the glass, and I knew he was not speaking to the cashier, or the boss, or me. He was saying it to himself. We were invisible.

The customer sitting opposite him seemed relieved. He huffed and picked up a newspaper. The cashier was, obviously, irrepressibly contented with herself.

Miss B, on the other hand, wore a reverence on her withered face that made it almost melt, like a chilled stick of butter laid out in the sun. “People don’t talk like that unless they seen a little piece of hell, Mr. Collins,” she murmured. “Things like that… well, it ain’t my place touch them.”

***

They make the beautiful obscene.

The words haunted me for the next twenty-four hours. I could not write, could not breathe, could not think without seeing them— visualizing them in my mind’s eye, typed out over and over, rendering new meaning at each repetition, and pacing. Pacing for uncounted hours. Something within me wanted to own them, to feel them, to devour them in the same way one desires a lover. They were the keys to the mind— no, the soul— of Chuck O’Malley. But they were like smoke. They could not be held. And why I cared, I may never be able to tell.

I wanted to type them the way I’d envisioned. I wanted to see them on my blog and methodically tie some profound truth to each solitary syllable. But the more I tried to uncover their secrets, the deeper they hid, the more obscure and unfathomable they became and the more they teased and agitated my intelligence.

My upstairs neighbors were battering my ceiling with admirable vigor that day. At times I heard raised voices, or perhaps only one voice— a shriek, or a small dog. It was a comical coincidence, the jabs of the outside world mingled with the interminable frustration of the mind. It sent my brow into an insufferable headache.

Nevertheless, I realized (admittedly a bit late) that I was not entirely alone in my perusal of Chuck’s words. Winifred could explain them to me. Her story would, in itself, unlock their meaning and, I suspected, spur the revival of Anonymously Collins. Therefore, Chuck was, essentially, my newest hit post in human form. My only obstacle would be something the cashier had said just before my departure. Chuck refused to say anything else at the mention of Winifred’s name. I quickly plotted to surmount this with a few tricks left over from journalism school and thought nothing more of it.

***

I reentered Miss B’s coffee shop that afternoon with quite a scheme concocted and a title for the post already in mind. The Beautiful Obscene, it was christened, and I paraded it within my own fantasies as adoringly as a mother parades her newly baptized infant. However, the moment I walked through the metal door, resounding the ever-cheerful bell so artfully attached to it, I was welcomed in a decidedly hostile manner by the foreboding Miss B. Her lips were pursed almost as tight as her bun.

“He ain’t here, Mr. Collins.”

“Who?” I chuckled as if I didn’t know.

“Mr. O’Malley.”

“Ah, no matter.”

I forced myself to peruse the faded menu etched in chalk just above her head. There was shamefully little material there to occupy the silence growing steadily denser between us. The words tumbled suddenly out of my mouth, pushed by anxiety.

“This is unusual for him, right? I was told he came all day, every day.”

“Usually does, but once in awhile, he don’t show. He’ll be back tomorrow.”

It was worded as an encouragement, but by her expression I could tell she would rather I not return tomorrow, or frankly, any day after that. I made my exit after stiffly ordering the cheapest drink available.  

***

It was as if God himself had decided to hammer every square foot of my ceiling. The pounding and throbbing of my neighbors’ floor had begun to sync with the agonizing pulse of my aching head.

By some sick twist of fate, Chuck O’Malley had not repelled me. I had repelled him. More importantly, I had repelled his story.

I could hear what the woman was shrieking now (no, it was not a small dog): “Get out! Get out, you pervert! I hate you!” Over and over.

I did not have the motivation to call the police. They would sort it all out or file for divorce, eventually. I was mentally exhausted and the safe patter of hot shower water felt warm and tranquilizing to my skin. Her shrieks were muffled, now, by the white roar of the water. I let them be.

But they persisted as I stumbled onto the tile floor— a clean, dripping mess. Having no capacity for further disturbance that evening, I shoved my dirty clothing back on in the moody excess of martyrdom and trudged out of the apartment, into the icy night air. I thought of Chuck’s analogy, the one about sitting on a glacier, and I would have probably chuckled a bit to myself if not for the annoyance rising steadily within me. I plotted the most effective way to inform my neighbors of their insupportable behavior and its effects on my head.

I entered the main building (mine was the only apartment facing outside) and turned to the door I knew to be placed directly above my living room— apartment 201. The commotion had ceased, if only for a moment. Instead, a man’s voice came muffled through the wooden door. I’d never noticed a man’s voice there before. It was soft and gravelly and broken, yet there was something strikingly familiar in its tone I could not place.

“Come on, sweetcakes,” it said. “I just wanted to spend a day with you.”

I snorted to myself at this vain attempt to save an obviously hopeless relationship. Then, raising my hand, I beat at the rusted door knocker.

The door swung open so suddenly, that with a blink, I had missed it. Chuck O’Malley was standing in front of me, his eyes sagging with weariness and that haze like the Milky Way so thick that not even a star could penetrate it. All emotion was stripped from his face, leaving only a man— an elderly, splotched, smelling man, uncombed, half-dressed, and tired. My calculated words vanished instantaneously from my mouth.

Chuck opened the door just far enough to fit himself through the space. That was when I saw her.

It was the kind of sight that can strangle a man without touching his body.

She was shriveled, hunched and as ragged as the pale, sickly, ripped wallpaper surrounding her. Her wild, gray hair was matted and twisted into every entanglement imaginable. I thought I saw a piece of it dangling out of her left hand. She was barefoot. Her feet and hands resembled cobwebs of mangled bones and protruding, blue veins. Her yellow nightdress looked as though a young woman may have worn it in the fifties, but now, it was a thing too used for this world. Her face was so deflated that her cheeks resembled nothing but shadowed caverns and her eyes were so wild and wide, that they were more white than brown.

But the rich, chestnut brown they held was beautiful— beautiful like warm brownies on a snowy afternoon; truly, stunningly beautiful.

“Stay here, Winnie. Henry’s a friend of mine. We’re gonna have a little talk. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Winifred.

My chest couldn’t decide whether to swell or collapse.

“I hope you never come back,” Winifred hissed as Chuck stepped out. She spat on the floor, wringing her hands and glowering at me with a bloody, white lip.

The door closed.

Chuck stared into me with wide, pleading eyes.

“She was the prettiest girl in high school,” he choked.

I nodded as if I knew.

We stood in the hall for half an hour. Chuck spoke with murmured words, avoiding my gaze and shuffling in circles. He shifted between telling me and himself, sometimes drifting so close that at times I could count the white hairs on his thick, wrinkled arm and then drifting so far that I strained to hear him. As he talked, I noticed a plain, golden band reflecting the little light in the room off of one of his fingers. I had never noticed it there before.

Chuck’s wife had been raped two months after their wedding. She was walking home from her work, he was at his. It was a tragedy he never could have prevented. Even so, “I didn’t save her,” were the words he whispered twice after telling me.

She didn’t tell him for three years. She hid the trauma within herself and allowed her mind to grow weaker and weaker under its weight. Then, in Chuck’s words, she snapped. Perhaps her brain had been damaged somehow by her attacker. Perhaps it was simply too much to take in. Whatever it was, it made her hate Chuck. Some days she had threatened to throw herself out of windows or onto a knife if he did not agree to leave the house. His parents advised him to leave her to the institutions. He wouldn’t. Instead, he had moved to Milton. He had settled in an apartment, and he had gone to Miss B’s.

***

I sat in my apartment at the wake of the day. The comfort of the place seemed subdued by the blue shadows and restless quiet that gripped the air. There was a chill making the hairs on my arms stand erect, like stiff and resolute soldiers, but I did not have the energy— no, the interest— to warm them. My hair was restlessly tussled. My eyes bagged so that I looked more like Chuck than ever. I had not looked in a mirror for the last twelve hours, but I had been staring at my face reflected in the computer screen for the last two.

I had to write. There are some things that cannot be processed but through tapping of keys. But how to summarize it? Could, or rather, should, it be summarized at all? The world had made Chuck’s wife a monster, but it did not end there. Witnessing her descent had brought out a kind of obscenity in Chuck, too. It had caused him to deny his reality.

I could not write about Chuck. No, his story seemed untouchable to me now— it was too tender, too raw, too real for the page. I would write about the concept— the one he couldn’t stop repeating, the one responsible for distorting his life forever. I gently tapped out the title I had tenderly composed such a little, yet such a long, time ago.

The Beautiful Obscene

One golden beam reached its silent arm to brush the tip of my computer screen. It brought warmth to my arms as I stretched them out to type. I played with the keys, and then I began to write.

Xanthous

My classmates are filing out of the front doors of the school, while the bell I dread every day rings, and I sit on the sunbaked front steps. None of them acknowledge me. They are rushing out of school to summers filled with friendship and freedom while I dread the car that comes to pick me up and deliver me to another two hours of emptying my brain to professionals of everything they consider “toxic.” They want me to be normal, and they continue to repeat that as if I believe it is something that I’m not. Every day, I take pills upon pills that are supposed to calm me down and pick me up at the same time so that I run on a wavelength they think will match everyone else’s. The doctors tell my parents that I am not trying, that I don’t seem to want to get any better. My parents think this couldn’t possibly be true because they don’t believe that I cannot see what everyone else thinks is the matter with me.

In the car, my mother tells me how good this vacation will be, how it will give me a chance to relax and a break from what she thinks is so stressful. While she talks, I think about how the summer will give me far too much time to think. After a while, she decides there is no way she can get me to reply, and she matches my silence for the rest of the ride. There is no such thing as a comfortable silence between us. The absence of words between my mother and me only ever means she is wishing she could read my mind and fill it with her own thoughts. As I leave, she shouts out a message to encourage me to share, which simply reminds me that none of them understand me and that all of them want me to change. She thinks that watching her sister go to therapy prepared her to send me into this room, but she’s wrong. If she had really been prepared for this, she would understand how much better it would be if I never went.

The room is always stifling. They think that I will be more comfortable if I can see the sun streaming through the windows, and they think the soft, white furniture and the bright walls with colorful paintings will inspire me to be as bright as the sun and as colorful as the bowl of fruit hanging behind the smiling lady. The questions are always the same. The doctors whose names I never bother to learn before they trade me off always want to start the same way.

“Tell me about yourself.”

They say that as if they are doing me a favor and giving me an easy way to begin. They present this as a statement and not a question, and they listen through my answer, trying to find somewhere to interject and give their opinions which they think they can fix me with. But I am smarter than them. I have been for a while. I know what I am supposed to say, how to talk in circles so that I have all the power. I know how to present all my unrelated issues as the basis of what is wrong with me so that they waste their precious time fixing a problem that I discovered yesterday, that wouldn’t have bothered me tomorrow. Sometimes, I forget the circles and simply list facts that they cannot dissect so we can sit in a standstill and wait for the other to break first. I never break first. Every once in a while, I start to feel bad that my parents spend so much of the money they care so much about on trying to make sure I am okay, but then I remember that they haven’t bothered to find out whether I already am okay. I can confuse the doctor easily, more easily than almost anything else I do, but I can’t seem to convince my parents that nothing is wrong. So I begin listing the facts they think will add up to me and create who I am.

“My name is Elizabeth Morgan. I just finished the ninth grade. My favorite color is gray. I have two dogs named Salt and Pepper. I run track, I write poetry, and the only bad grade I have ever gotten was in my sixth-grade Spanish class when I threw up during my oral presentation.”

I decide that’s all the information she needs, and I lean forward and sigh as if I am about to tell her how this all makes me feel, as if I am about to do her entire job for her and diagnose myself, and then I sit back and watch as her smile turns into a look of bafflement and disbelief. She didn’t think that what the other doctors said was true. She was hoping she would be the one to crack me open and make me see what the other doctors saw that made them pump me with pills. The next question is the same as it has always been.

“So why do you think you’re here?”

This question was hard to answer at first. I couldn’t figure out how to explain that I didn’t belong here without sounding like an insecure teenager that simply felt out of place. I’ve discovered the best way to get someone to stop asking you questions whose answers you don’t want to think about is by questioning their purpose in the conversation. I refuse to move to answer the questions I have heard a thousand times that have been presented as an innovative way to discover what is wrong with me, so I sit in the same position that shows just how bored I am by all her attempts.

I answer, “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to tell me?”

Sometimes, they think I am joking, but they tend to figure it out quickly. Sometimes, they think that I don’t understand how therapy works, and they launch into long-winded lectures on how this room is a safe space and how they’re simply there to guide me to discoveries about myself. Those always give me a nice chance for a nap. This doctor isn’t any different. She laughs as if I have said something funny and not as if I have said the only honest thing I will say the whole time. Moving on, she tries to ask me how I feel about the approaching summer. I give her the response I know that she is expecting, and she sounds like a broken record of my mother, explaining how good this break will be. Eventually, she lets me leave. She doesn’t seem quite as defeated as I’ve come to expect, and I wonder if she’ll last longer than the last doctor who decided he couldn’t help me either. Another silent car ride, and I’m finally home.

Dinner is not a particularly pleasant event in my house. My parents have conversations with their eyes, thinking that if they don’t make any sound, I couldn’t possibly hear what they’re saying. While they do this, I try to find something to fill the stretch of empty time lying in front of me. Once I leave the table, they give up on their silent conversations, and I once again listen as they try to decode what could possibly be happening in my head. My mother whispers about a sister she stopped mentioning to me once it became clear I might have ended up with the same problems everyone thought she used to have.

“I’m worried about her, you know. She seems so much like my sister right before, well, you know what happened. We can’t let that happen to her. She’ll never be able to move past it.”

My father has never seemed comforting to me, but he manages to calm down my mother as I walk back to my room. Once I’m there, I begin to wonder more about this woman I’ve only heard of in passing. “Aunt” is not a term I have ever used before to describe this woman who used to be in my mother’s life. I have never met her, and everything I have heard about her is composed of my mother’s desire to convince me how important it is that I do not let things get as far as her sister did.

Back in my room, I decide I need a plan, a way to escape the routine they designed to help me which can only be making me worse. My aunt will take me in, I’m sure of it, and she won’t tell anyone where I am because she understands me. Everyone thought she was sick, and I know by the way they talk about it in the past tense she has to have proved them wrong. If I can just get to her, she won’t let them bring me back to this. The only problem is I don’t know where she lives. But that can be solved, and having a goal helps me feel focused. When I don’t have a goal, I feel like I’m drifting. Like I can’t move unless I’m moved by someone else, and no one ever sends me where I want to go.

It won’t be easy to find out where she lives. My mother hasn’t talked about her openly in two years, and even before she stopped being mentioned completely, my mother only ever told me how troubled she was. But my mother has a weakness. She believes so thoroughly that I will one day see in myself what she wants to change that she will believe anything I say as long as I show her that I am trying. And so, I set my plan in motion.

It is easy to convince the doctor that I’ve finally changed, finally seen the light from which all the others refused to give me shade, and that I am finally prepared to use their help. I ask her whether she thinks it would help me if I could talk to someone outside of this room, someone who has lived through what I am feeling and isn’t being paid to try and fix me. I know it’s only a matter of time before my mother cracks and sends me to her sister. I have given her just enough hope for me that she’ll think even her sister can’t drag me down. Later, my mother is helping me pack. She can’t hide the fact that she is nervous, but she tries to, saying she’s simply going to miss me.

The door to my aunt’s apartment is gray. My mother drove away ten minutes ago, explaining that she couldn’t possibly see her sister again, even after all this time. I haven’t rung the doorbell yet, and a second later, I don’t need to. The door swings open, and a woman steps out. She is small, like my mother. I am bigger, but standing in front of her shrinks me. There are a thousand colors in the clothes on her body, and her shoes are missing. It looks like a costume, but makes me feel like, in my gray t-shirt and black pants, I’m the one wearing a disguise. I can’t tell if she’s happy to see me, and I am shocked by how little she reminds me of myself. Seeing her makes me realize how many expectations I had for how she would be. When I had imagined her, it was always as if I were talking to a mirror image of myself who simply had the power I didn’t. When she ushers me into the living room and sits across from me, I am shocked by how familiar it feels until I notice the oranges sitting in a basket on the piano behind her. I want to believe she will help me the way that I want to be helped, but I am afraid she will help me in the way everyone else has been trying to.

Instantly, I know she is wondering why I could possibly be here. We have never talked before, and she doesn’t understand why I think she can help me. I’ve never been much for small talk. Or if you’ve heard my mom speak recently, I just don’t know how to communicate anymore. So I’m instantly uncomfortable when she starts in on all the questions she has about my life. Her first question surprises me.

“Are you glad to be out of school?”

I don’t know how this question is supposed to help me, so I don’t bother responding. She tries again, this time it’s a question I can answer. A question about facts.

“What grade are you in?”

“Tenth,” I reply quickly, and she seems surprised by the sound of my voice. Her questions don’t seem to be getting more helpful as she continues. She asks about the drive — fine –, and how my father is doing — fine –, how school is — horrible –, how my friends are — nonexistent –, what I like to do in my free time — not much. She doesn’t ask any questions about me for a long time. Finally though, she breaks, although the question confuses me as much as the others.

Her next question is too familiar, the same as it always is. “So, why are you here?”

I am shocked that she does not understand why I can’t answer that question, I can’t lie to her like I can lie to the doctors, but right now, I can’t see how they’re different. I want to leave, but of course, that would be too easy. I don’t know why I expected this to be simple; nothing has ever worked exactly the way I wanted. Whenever I think I have reached something, life has a cruel way of telling me to be careful what you wish for. I’m no longer sure why I am here; it has become glaringly obvious that she will not do what I need her to, but I have no other answer for her.

“Because you’re the only one who can help me. You understand what they’re putting me through. And you can save me from it.”

Once the words have left my mouth, I can see that she will not help me. Her head shakes. Then, almost as if she is not aware she has already denied me of her help, she speaks.

“I can’t save you from this. You don’t need saving.”

Already, I think that I have figured her out. So I am not surprised. She doesn’t want to help me, she thinks that I should suffer through what she had to. She is not what I imagined. I have not cried since my days when scraping my knees on the playground seemed like the end of the world, but by the time I remember what the burning sensation behind my eyes mean, the droplets are threatening to spill over. I cannot believe how much I allowed myself to believe someone would be able to help me. Then she shocks me again.

“But I will help you. You may not believe anymore that I understand you, but I do.”

She is more complicated than I thought. We don’t talk anymore after that. There doesn’t seem to be anything left to say.

Later, I sleep. The room I am in is too colorful. It reminds me of a vacation, and vacations are a time when I am left by myself for far too long. The walls are yellow, and the blankets on the bed are a myriad of colors that I am sure are the reason I am having trouble breathing. Turning off the lights does not help. The colors are still everywhere, and so I close my eyes and hope they will go away.

In the morning, my aunt makes breakfast. I pretend that I have taken my pills, and we sit at the table, and she does not try to make conversation. Tonight, my mother will pick me up, and I will forget my aunt, and I will go back to knowing there is nobody who can help me.

“You know they think they’re helping you.”

It feels as though she can read my thoughts, but she sounds too much like my doctors for me to want to believe that.

“But they aren’t, and they’re not changing anything. I don’t need help. Their version of help is making everything worse.”

I surprise myself with these words. They are the closest I have come to admitting something could be wrong, and I can’t believe they have come from me. My aunt looks at me sadly, like she is remembering.

“Do you remember why they sent you to the first doctor?”

No one has ever asked me this question. This is one I must answer. This is a question about facts, and I cannot lie about facts.

“My mother was scared.”

She flinches at the mention of my mother, like she forgot that I came from a part of her past.

“My friends stopped talking to me, and she didn’t understand why I was not upset. She didn’t understand why I did not try to make other friends and started coming home from school to spend all my time alone. She thought that I needed professional help because I wouldn’t talk to anyone else.”

I haven’t thought about that day in a long time, the day all my friends decided I was no longer worth talking to, and then a few weeks later, when my mother decided that ignoring everyone meant something was wrong. I didn’t seem to know how horrible those days would make my life. I know that I am angry now — that much has been clear for a long time — but I do not remember being angry then.

The first doctor I met was nice. She was the first one to ask me the questions. Before I crafted my perfect answers and before I learned that she wasn’t trying to help. I was not angry when I went home that day. I didn’t feel anything when I went home that day. Just as it had been for the past few weeks. My mother was not too happy when I came home, and my father didn’t bother to look up from his paper. He was not worried then. It was still only my mother’s job to worry then. She had wanted me to talk, and I had just wanted to sleep.

A week later, my mother sent me to another appointment. “We’re going to try someone better today.” I realize now that those were the last weeks she expected me to come back the way I was before. A new doctor entered the room and asked me the same questions. Another person had left, and still, I did not care. The new doctor lasted two months. In the beginning, he had understood when I did not want to talk. Later, he had tried to explain to me why I was there, and I had refused to acknowledge it. He had given up. And the pattern continued. Somewhere in the middle, the doctors had decided questions would not be enough and had all written me prescriptions for pills that were supposed to do the same job, only this time I wouldn’t have been able to fight it.

I want to know why my aunt was sent to her first doctor. I want to know whether she was angry. I want to find my connection to her again because if everyone else can still see it, it has to still be there. She breaks through my thoughts, and it surprises me. I am not used to being surprised, and this weekend hasn’t given me a chance to get back on my feet.

“It’s ok that you had a few bad days, you know. Bad days are ok. Once they start stringing together for so long that you can’t remember the good ones, that’s when it becomes a problem.”

I want to know if she remembers the good days now.

She does. She tells me she does.

Suddenly, I want to remember my good days. I want to laugh again and be happy when someone new talks to me, but that still all seems so far away.

“We should have a good day.”

I don’t know what she means by that, but I know that whatever she does can only help. I have been hovering over rock bottom for a long time now, but I’ve been refusing to look down and see how close I am. Anything we do can only help.

She takes me to an art studio. It is filled with people, which should make me nervous, especially when they all turn to look at us, but I can tell that they will not force me to talk. My aunt seems to know everybody. Every time we turn around, there is someone else waiting to ask her how she’s been and to show her what they’re making. Their laughter sounds too harsh, too foreign. Some of them glance at me, and when my aunt notices how tense I am, she distracts them. After a while, it seems like she has greeted everyone, and she makes her way to the middle of the room where an easel stands. She places something on the easel, and I notice the painting she was working on when I went to bed. It’s a room with yellow walls. There are a thousand colors in the painting, and in the corner, there is a dark spot. A girl in black sits in the corner and looks like she is fighting the room, fighting for her dark spot to grow, but the room is winning.

I decide I want to see what everyone else is creating. The room is filled with people who want to talk, they want to explain what they are creating, and this feels safe to me. So I listen as everyone manages to show themselves through their paintings and their drawings and their sculptures. All of them show a battle, a flower breaking through a barren wasteland, the sun breaking through a dark night over a city. Sometimes, the dark side is winning, and sometimes, both sides are equally frozen, like the artist isn’t sure which side is fighting harder. These are the ones I understand.

By noon, my aunt has finished her painting, and everyone in the studio has stopped working. They all wait for each other, like there is a protocol and they all know how this goes. So I follow along as we walk as a group, a noisy group filled with laughter, down the street and into a cafe. The waitress smiles as we walk in and hands me a menu. Everyone’s food starts arriving as I look through. Eventually, we’re all eating and talking, and I find myself smiling. Their laughter doesn’t sound so harsh anymore, and a few times, I find myself joining in. By the time we leave the cafe, we’ve been talking for two hours, and yet, I have the most energy I’ve had in months. In the studio, my aunt leaves her painting and makes her rounds to say goodbye. I don’t think I am ready to leave, but she drags me home.

I expect to feel different in her apartment. I expect the colors to be suffocating again, but they seem lighter now. I don’t want to go home tonight, to a room filled with gray and void of all color.

“You can’t stay here, you know. You can’t hide here and pretend you’re getting better. You need to go home.”

I know she is right, but I’m scared. I haven’t felt anything in a long time, and now I am feeling everything too much and too fast and it’s okay here because it’s new here, but I know that when I go home, it will be too much.

“How do I stop being scared?” I need her to tell me, I need to know that she did it so that I know I can.

“You don’t.” I think I stop breathing for a minute. “You have to let the fear help you. If everything gets easy, there isn’t a fight anymore, and it’s too easy to let everything take over.”

That night, it’s hard to say goodbye. She won’t talk to my mother. It’s too hard for her to remember how little my mother understood her. I understand, so I say goodbye in her living room. Behind her, there is a basket of oranges, but there are also paintings. In the corner, they are dark and scary, but directly behind her, they are full of light. I am not sure which ones I am afraid of.

When I say goodbye to my aunt, I’m not sure when I’ll see her again. She hugs me goodbye, and then she straightens up and clears her throat.

“You know your mother ruined my life. She doesn’t understand us at all. For your sake, I hope she doesn’t mess up so badly with you.”

She sounds so sure when she says this, as if she still knows my mother and she knows that it can’t be avoided. But she hasn’t talked to her for over fifteen years, and I can’t believe she is still acting like everything that happened between them was yesterday and that there is no way my mother could have changed. It shocks me that I feel so protective of my mother even though I thought she was so horrible for what she did to her sister. At that moment, I realize I don’t even know what she did to her sister.

I’ve never bothered to ask my mother why it was so hard for her to see parts of her sister in me. I realize that my aunt has never bothered to ask why my mother had such a hard time when she was getting help and that my mother has never bothered to understand her story either. I realize that my mother wasn’t the only one pushing off the blame and responsibility of the destruction of their relationship.

Every little comment my aunt has made about my mother seems to add up, and I know I’ve heard more bad things about my mother this weekend than I ever did about my aunt. As the gray door closes behind me when I walk out, I know that it is closing for good. That I have gotten what I needed from my aunt and that she faced my mother through me in the only way she could have. We don’t need each other anymore.

The car ride home is quiet. It’s no longer a bad kind of quiet. My mother and I are finally realizing that we both need to change. When we are almost home, my mother tells me she thinks that I should start therapy again. I do not yell like I would before. I understand now. I tell her that I can’t take pills anymore. She understands now.

Things are not different at home. Dinner is still quiet, but my parents are no longer talking about me silently. We are all apologizing with our eyes.

In my room, there are cans on the floor. They are filled with yellow paint, and for the first time since I scraped my knees on the playground, I let myself cry.

I Hate My Life!

Saturday

I hate going to the beach!  All I want to do this summer is hang out with my friends, play video games on my laptop, and watch TV! But do my parents care? NO!! They just come up to me and say, “Jenny, even though we know you hate the beach, we are going there today because we want to torture you.”

Okay, maybe they didn’t say that last part. People think that when you’re an only child your parents give you everything and let you go anywhere you want to go, but that is totally not true. When you are an only child, your parents are totally overprotective, and they bring you wherever they go because “you are their only child and they want you to protect you.” So, here I am crawling around in the sand because I dropped my iPod when my dad snuck up on me and told me to “put the iPod away and come play in the water, because when he was twelve, his parents never took him to the beach so I should be grateful.”

Well I would be grateful if you would just leave me alone, thank you very much. I wish I had a little brother or a sister, because I could boss them around and my parents would get off my back. When I was little, I asked my parents for a sibling but, instead, they got me a puppy. Not that I’m complaining about that. Sky is amazing. So, anyway, now I have to go in the water with my parents.

Sunday

Oh my god, I thought that the beach was the worst thing my parents could make me do. But no, they found a worse thing. Going to the neighborhood family festival. Every year, a bunch of people set up games and some bouncy houses and a bunch of snack booths. Sounds fun right? WRONG! You know why it is so boring? Because it is set up by parents! So all the snacks are fruit, the games are lame, and the bouncy castles are for babies!

Oh, here comes Daisy. My best friend. People would NEVER guess that we were best friends EVER EVER EVER! Oh great, she’s running over here waving at me. I wave back but WAY less happily. Oh, she’s stopping to talk to some random people about how great this is. I guess I have time to tell you about her.

She is really really happy, and I mean happiness overload. Her favorite color is pink, while mine is black, and (yes, I know that is technically a shade). She has a younger sister, and her parents are not over-protective. They let her go wherever she wants as long as she’s not in trouble, which she never is (which is another difference between us).

Oh shoot, she’s talking to me. I wasn’t paying attention, so I just nod.

“So, anyway, I’m so excited that you’re coming to my beach party! I know you don’t like the beach, but I’m sure you’ll have fun!”

“Uh huh,” I say, still not paying attention.

“Ok! Let’s go to the bouncy castle!”

“I don’t want to.”

“But you just said that you would.”

I did? Oh, that’s probably what I nodded to when I wasn’t paying attention.

“Oh, right,” I say. “I thought you said let’s not go to the bouncy castle.”

“Great! Bouncy castle here we come!” Daisy says.

Yippee. I get to go bounce around on an inflatable princess castle. Did I mention it’s pink? I should probably tell my parents were I’m going. Wait, actually, I won’t because they’ll see that I can handle my self alone. Uh-oh, here they come. They don’t look very happy.

Tuesday

Yesterday, I went to Daisy’s birthday party and, for some reason, people find it offensive if you bring a journal to their party and write about how boring it is. Also, I’m grounded for a completely terrible reason. I didn’t tell my parents that I was going to the bouncy castle with Daisy. I mean, I just wanted to get away from them for a little while. Is that so wrong? According to my parental dictators, it is! So now I can’t play on my laptop, hang out with my friend, or watch TV. Also I’m not allowed to leave the house unless I tell my parents where I’m going. Sadly, I was allowed to go to Daisy’s party, even though I told my parents I didn’t deserve to go. They said that since I already said I was going, I had to go. So all I did at the party (which was three hours long!) was sit in the sand and do nothing. IT WAS SO SO SO BORING! Please don’t tell Daisy I said that, it’ll hurt her feelings.

Wednesday

So today I’m going to talk to my parents about not having to tell them everywhere I go. I go into my parent’s room. They’re watching TV. Mom is in matching blue PJs. They pause the TV and Dad says, “What’s up?”

I say, “Mom, Dad? Do you think you could give me a little more independence?”

Dad rubs his eyes, “What do you mean, honey?”

“I mean, maybe being able to go out with friends without having to tell you who I’m going with or where I’m going everytime.”

“Well, sweetie, how would we get in touch with you if you get hurt?” Mom says.

I smile and raise my eyebrows. “I could get a cell phone?”

“Jenny, right now you’re grounded. Do you really think you deserve a cell phone? And I beli — ” I cut Dad off.

“Think about the reason I got grounded. If I had a cell phone I could have texted you guys!” I’m whining.

Mom and Dad’s faces darken.

“Jenny, I don’t think you’re old or responsible enough for a cell phone,” Mom says.

“Right. Cell phones are very expensive,” Dad chimes in. “What if we buy you one and then you lose it or break it?”

“Sorry, sweetie. you’re just not ready,” says Mom.

“Ahhh! You guys are being so dumb and unreasonable!”

Ok, so maybe I didn’t say that but I definitely thought it! Ugh parents can be SO ANNOYING!

Anyway, I gotta go cool down.  

Thursday

“Are you even listening to me?” asks Daisy.

We’re sitting in Daisy’s bedroom.

“Nope not at all,” I say.

“I said that you were acting really moody at my birthday party.”

“I’m sorry, but you know I don’t like the beach and I didn’t know anyone besides you

there.”

“Well it hasn’t been only that moment. You’ve been really moody and not paying attention lately.”

“Give me an example,” I say.

“Well, at the family festival, you weren’t paying attention because you didn’t know that we were going to a bouncy castle.”

“Well I’m sorry that I didn’t want to bounce around on an inflatable princess castle!”

“Well then, you should have paid attention. You know, I don’t like it when you don’t pay attention to me! I mean, it’s not like I do anything that annoys you.”

“Yes you do!” I yell.

“What do I do that annoys you so much?!”

“You’re way too perky!”

“Yeah, well you’re way moody and I’m getting tired of it!”

“Well I’ll leave then!”

“Please do!”

“Fine!”

I slam the door of her way too pink and perky room and stomp out of her way to happy house.

So you’re probably wondering by now why the heck me and Daisy are best friends. Well, the short answer is she was the only one who talked to me when I moved here three years ago. So basically, I walked into my third grade classroom for the first time. The schedule was up on the board and the first thing it said was free time. This may surprise you but I’m a huge neat freak. So I thought the first thing I would do was organize my cubby and desk. Unfortunately, I didn’t know where either of those things where because apparently instead of putting our names on our desks, cubbies, and other stuff Ms. Wyatt (who by the way was the best teacher of all time) assigned each student a color. And since I had come in the middle of the year I didn’t know my color yet. Then this little girl wearing all pink and a huge smile (can you guess who it was?) comes up to me and says:

“Hi, I’m Daisy. What’s your name?”

“Jenny,” I said.

“Do you know your color yet?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Oh, well I’m your welcome buddy, so I know!”

“What is it?” I asked.

“You got so lucky almost every girl in the class wanted this color but you got it!!”

Oh no I thought that can’t be good because most nine year old girl’s favorite color is …

“Pink!”

“Great,” I said.

“We’re gonna be best friends forever!” said Daisy

So I agreed to be her best friend because no one else would talk to me. Now, I don’t have any friends. When I get home I go to my room to play on my laptop but then I realize I can’t do that because I’m grounded for a completely stupid, terrible reason! Ugh.

So I do what any rational twelve-year-old girl would do at this moment. I scream into my pillow. Then, when that doesn’t work, I throw it across the room. It hits a picture of me and Daisy skiing. I don’t pick it up. Sky comes in, because she heard all the noise, climbs up on my bed, and starts to lick my face. Then she curls up into a little ball. She’s so cute. She’s a three-year-old golden labrador retriever and she’s really energetic. I start to cry and I burry my face in Sky’s fur.

I hate my life.

When my mom gets home (my dad is on a business trip to Asia), she sees the pillow and the picture and me asleep with my head on Sky. She wakes me up and says:

“Honey what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I say.

“Jenny, something is obviously wrong,” she says.

“Fine, me and Daisy had a fight.”

“Daisy and I,” she says under her breath.

Did I mention she’s an English teacher at our town college?

Mom,” I say in a stern voice.

“Fine. Continue,” she says.

“I wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying. She got mad at me and started saying how I’m moody and don’t pay attention and then she said that she never did anything that annoys me and I yelled at her saying she was too perky. Then, I stomped out of her house.”

“Well, sweetie, were you being moody and not paying attention?”

“No! Mabye. Yes,” I say.

“Well then you can’t blame her,” says Mom.

“But she knows that’s who I am,” I say.

“Well, honey, it can be annoying. And I should know. I’m your mother.”

“Okay. Tomorrow, I’ll go to her house and apologize to her.”

“That’s a great idea sweetie!”

“Okay, bye Mom.”

“I’m ordering pizza. I’ll call you when it gets here.”

“Okay Mom.”

“Bye, Jenny.”

Mom walks down the hall. I’m going to take a nap until the pizza gets here. I hope she ordered Sicilian, it’s my favorite. Daisy’s too.

Friday

I’m walking over to Daisy’s house to apologize. I hope she forgives me.

I walk up to the door and knock. I see Daisy in her bedroom window. Her mom comes out.

“Oh, hi Jenny!”

“Hi Ms. Ackerman. Can I talk to Daisy?”

“Um… Daisy isn’t here” she says looking over her shoulder.

“Oh well tell her I want to talk to her,” I say, sadly.

“I will,” she says.

I start to walk away and, after a couple seconds, I turn around to make sure Daisy’s mom isn’t looking then I start to run. When I get home, Mom is also home because she has off on Fridays. She sees that I’m crying.

“What’s wrong, Jenny?” she asks, kind of panicked because I never cry in front of people.

“I went to Daisy’s house to apologize and I saw Daisy in her bedroom window but when her mom came to the door she said that Daisy wasn’t home!” I sobbed.

“Oh sweetie I’m so sorry that’s terrible! Do you want me to talk to Daisy’s mom and tell her that you just wanted to apologize.”

“Okay,” I say slowly.

“I’ll talk to her. Oh and Jenny? That was a very mature thing you did. Your grounding is over.”

“Thanks,” I say.

Mom smiles back me. I go up to my room and play Minecraft.

Saturday

Tomorrow’s my birthday and I have a plan. Since it’s my thirteenth birthday, I’m going to ask my parents for a phone. I have a plan and it’s foolproof! You’ll see what it is tomorrow. When my mom got home from talking to Daisy’s mom yesterday, I asked her how it went and she said it went fine. I still don’t think that Daisy forgives me. I asked my mom if Daisy was coming to my party and she said that she didn’t know and that we’ll see tomorrow. Anyway I’m so excited for tomorrow. I’ll officially be a teenager and have a reason to be moody. I’m probably just gonna play on my laptop all day today.

Sunday

It’s my birthday today and my plan is in action. I’ll go downstairs and my parents will be at the table and they’ll have made pancakes. Then they’ll yell happy birthday. Then they’ll ask me what I want for my birthday and I’ll say a phone! It’s foolproof! They can’t say no since it’s my thirteenth birthday! I’m going downstairs now. I peek around the corner of the stair case. Okay, good. There are pancakes on the table with a “13” candle on top. So far, so good. I walk into the kitchen.

“SURPRISE!” My parents yell. I act surprised even though I’m not.

“Oh my gosh!” I say in my best surprised voice.

“Sit down honey,” says Mom. I sit down and as expected they ask me what I want.

“Well,” I say pretending to think, “it would be great if I could have a phone.”

My parents look at each other smiling.

“We thought you would say that,” says Dad. They take out an iPhone case.

“Oh my God!” I exclaim. Then I open it and there is an iPhone 5s!

“Thank you thank you thank you!” I say excitedly.

“You’re welcome,” says Dad. “There are some rules, though.”

“Ok what?” I say skeptically.

“Here’s a sheet of paper with the rules,” says Dad handing me a sheet of paper. It reads:

  1. No texting until your homework is done.
  2. If Mom or Dad texts you, you must answer within two minutes or they will call the cops.
  3. You must ask permission to buy any game.
  4. No social media.
  5. If you break or lose this phone, there will be no new one.
  6. No giving random people your number.
  7. You must tell Mom and Dad your password.
  8. No prank calling.
  9. Most important rule: do not give any boy your number!

I would complain about these rules but I don’t want to lose my phone.

“Let’s go get ready for the party,” Mom says.

We are in our backyard for my party. It’s really sunny and nice out. I’m really bored. My cousins are running around playing tag. The grownups are talking about politics. Boring.

I wish Daisy was here. She used to be the only person I would really talk to at my parties. Usually at my birthday parties it’s me, my parents, Daisy, some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins, some of my parents  friends kids, and my grandparents. But I don’t think Daisy is going to come even though mom said the talk with Daisy’s mom went well. I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s Daisy!

“Hi Jenny,” she says.

“Hi,” I say.

“I’m sorry,” we say at the same time.

“Let me go first,” she says.

“Okay,” I say.

“I’m sorry I told my mom to say I wasn’t home and that I called you moody,” she said, sadly.

“Okay, my turn,” I say. “I’m sorry I called you too perky and that I wasn’t paying attention to you. I am moody, so I forgive you.”

“I forgive you too,” she says, happily.

“I’m going to think about how moody I am and maybe try to be a little bit less moody. I said try. No promises!” I say to Daisy.

“Great. And I’ll try to be less perky,” Daisy says.

“No don’t, I kind of like it,” I admit.

“And I kind of like how you’re moody. I guess we kind of balance each other out!”

“Okay. Oh, and guess what? I got a phone!” I say excitedly.

“Really? What kind?” asks Daisy, even more excitedly.

“An iPhone 5s!” I say.

“Oh my god that’s awesome what’s your number?” she asks

“(212) 566-7653” I say. She taps it into her phone.

“What’s yours?” I say.

“(212) 356-3579,” she says.

“Oh, the cake is coming. Let’s go!” I say

“Okay!” she says. Then we run and get some chocolate cake with vanilla frosting that my mom made just for me.

So, right now, I guess I don’t hate my life.

San Francisco Collective

        

Prologue

I am terrified and also a little bit excited. Mostly because Jude said I have a story to tell, and she doesn’t lie about anything. I guess that I do have a story, and I’ve collected all the moments that make it up, but I don’t know how to string them together in a way that makes sense because my life doesn’t really make sense. I’ve saved up these fragments to write about, and I was always waiting for the right time to start working, but now the “Right Time” is staring me in the face, and I am scared shitless because I don’t want to fuck this up. I have screwed up a lot in my lifetime, but this thing feels sacred. I have this notion that it’s the one something that I can’t mess up because if it goes bad, then it’s like I’ve gone bad.

1

My name is Russell. Up until I turned sixteen, I lived with my mother in a suburb of Springfield, Illinois. The house was small and dumpy. My mother’s name is Bliss, which I thought was pretty fucking ironic seeing as all she really did was watch true crime TV after my father left. He was a quiet, friendly dude named Carl, who always seemed a little nervous. He was really gentle, didn’t talk much, and had a weird bald spot on the back of his head. Back when Carl was still around full-time, my mom was happy. She smiled a lot and hummed Elvis Presley songs.

Things were pretty run-of-the-mill, I suppose. And then my father was hired to work a nationwide circuit for his car dealership when I was ten. Things were a little tight in terms of finances, and my mother began to slide into depression. When he was gone, her smiles were infrequent and looked kind of manic because the happiness never reached her eyes. She lost her job when the local post office branch shut down, and we started living on welfare checks. After six years of this, he sent us a letter from Chicago. My mom read it first, and then left it to drift onto the kitchen table, turning slowly to walk to her room. I don’t think I was very surprised either when I read the note. I knew in the back of my mind for a while that his absence would soon become permanent.

It was still a tiny bit of a jolt to see that what I had feared in the abstract was no longer abstract, but very much real and very much happening to me. The letter was sappy and emotional and full of apologies.

He was sorry, but he could no longer live as the person he convinced himself he was.

He was happy now and living with a man named Herb, who was his partner.

He loved Bliss, but just not in the way that she loved him.

He had tried and tried for years, but couldn’t bring himself to care for her in the way she deserved to be cared for.

He would always care about us, but he could not be a part of the family any longer.

He told me I could come visit him whenever I wanted, and that Bliss could feel free to take loans from him if needed. I still loved him, sort of, but I knew I would probably not visit him.

Even though I barely interacted with my mother anymore, I felt a little twinge of pity watching her sit alone on the couch, swaddled in blankets, watching The F.B.I Files. She was pathetic, an overgrown child, no longer able to take responsibility for anything.

Don’t think I was weak or a pussy or anything. I was still planning to get the fuck out of there as soon as I could. Just to see the world a bit. Or at least get out of Illinois.

In late junior high, I went to an end-of-the-world party where I drank for the first time, and I smoked pot for the first time. Obviously, the world didn’t end, so the party ended up being my gateway into the world of marijuana. I smoked occasionally throughout freshman year, and a little bit more in the summer before sophomore year, and then even more throughout sophomore year, mainly because I fell in with a crew of self-proclaimed pagans who worshipped Satan and Mother Nature or some shit.

Before I got friendly with the pagans, I was buddies with this guy Darren, who I thought was really cool because he had a green buzz cut and wore a leather jacket from his uncle’s biker gang, but he turned out to be a little weird in the head. He was one of those emo types inside, and he tried to hide it by pretending to be “hard” and “gangster.” He tried to get me to enter a suicide pact with him in February of freshman year. Even though my life was kind of shit at the time, I still wanted to make it through. It seemed sad to die without ever having actually kissed a girl, so I decided to leave Darren and to find new friends instead. Darren didn’t kill himself, but he did move to Texas at the end of the school year.

The pagans were a small, exclusive gang of kids that hung out on the outskirts of the school campus, behind the clumps of trees surrounding the parking lot. There were all sorts of sick rumors about them, like that one of the girls had set fire to the music room a few years back by just summoning a flame into her hand or some shit, or that the guys in the group had turned the pool water into beer. Anyway, there were a few people in the crew at the time that I joined.

There was Melody Armstrong, a really pretty former cheerleading captain who now wore lots of layers of knit clothing and odd fabrics and lots of necklaces and had like ten ear piercings. She was still the wet dream of lots of guys, even after she transformed into a weirdo. Some creepy guy wrote a haiku about her after gym class one day in the locker room:

“Melody Armstrong

Your stomach so pale and tight

I want to screw you.”

I had a bit of a crush on her in elementary school after she beat me in a race at lunchtime. That was back when you could actually see her bright, blue eyes without the layers of black eyeliner masking them, back when she didn’t cover up her freckles with cakey makeup. There were lots of pervs at my school who used to watch the cheer team practice, just to catch glimpses of her skin while she did flips and leaps and shit.

The unspoken leader of the crew was Gunner Jorgensen. He was this tall, lanky guy with a handsome face. His face was angular and sculpted, and he was the main reason why the pagans were almost (counterintuitive as it may seem) mainstream. Gunner was clever, but didn’t get good grades because he rarely showed up to his classes. He was a junior. He listened to heavy metal bands like Cannibal Corpse and Burzum and Varg Vikernes, and he lived in a modified cabin in the woods. In addition to being very good-looking, Gunner was very charismatic, but also ruthless and cold. A dangerous combination, in hindsight.

There was also this girl Raven, who transferred in during her junior year. She must have been ordinary once, but she definitely wasn’t by the time she arrived at my high school. She wore goth clothing and an assload of makeup, heavily applied around her eyes like that chick Avril Lavigne. She really did look the part of a witch. People made fun of her in the beginning, but she didn’t seem to care. Somehow, rumors and gossip spread from her old school about how she’d been expelled for doing lots of drugs and bringing a sacrificial knife to class, and then people didn’t fuck with her anymore. She became kind of friendly with the pagans really quickly.

Most of the girls who had been in the group had hooked up with Gunner at some point, but Raven wouldn’t let Gunner into her pants, and I think that he latched onto her because she was a challenge. She became like the queen to Gunner’s king.

There were other kids in the group too, a few random dudes named Jack and Rudy and Smith, and then there was one other girl named Jane. She didn’t talk much. The pagans would mostly just hang out in the wooded areas on campus and smoke and stuff. After school, we’d hang at Gunner’s cabin instead. I did my first hallucinogens with them during some weird, batshit Wicca ritual. We’d do those sorts of things occasionally, but most often, we’d just chill as a group and get high and/or drunk and break glass for fun, because nobody could hear us from the middle of the woods.

So I ran with them for a few months during my sophomore year, and life was pretty interesting. Being with them kept the drugs flowing, and the girls were hot. I wouldn’t say that the pagans were really the type to share your secrets with or whatever, but Darren was long gone, and there was nobody else of interest in my school, so it was them or nothing. At any rate, my mother was kind of wigging out at the time, and she was drinking and crying a lot, which caused me to feel weird and uncomfortable in my house. I began crashing at Gunner’s occasionally, and then more and more, until I was spending most of my time at school or the cabin. I only went home when I needed more clothing, really. Over the summer before junior year, I lived with the gang full-time.

At least once a week, Gunner would throw a sort of party at his cabin. It was at one of those parties that I decided to emancipate myself from the pagans and potentially get out of Springfield. At the time, it was only a little idea at the back of my mind, and it slowly grew as I realized how crappy things were with my mother.

So anyways, the cabin was really dim and kinda grubby, and it had a pentagram carved into the wall of the main room where we all used to chill. Beer was flowing, and joints were circulating, and we had all sort of fallen into a groove. We weren’t talking though because Gunner had put on some weird, head-banger metal shit and it was too loud for conversation.

It was a sizeable group that night: me, Jacko, Rudy, Raven, Jane, and Raven’s cousin from out of town named Isadora. That probably wasn’t her real name because it sounded kind of medieval and uncommon, but I never asked nor did I ever see her again, so it didn’t matter. Gunner and Melody had disappeared into another room.

After a while, the CD ended, and the room was weirdly quiet for a moment before we heard raised voices from Gunner’s room. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. The words were unintelligible, but it was obvious that the two of them were violently arguing with each other, and there was even a crashing noise or two. Then, the argument cut off abruptly, as though they finally realized that the music was no longer playing. The door slammed open, and Melody strode out, looking furious. There was a small cut along her left cheek, which was an angry red color. Gunner shouted the word “slut” after her violently. Needless to say, the rest of us were sort of embarrassed at having overheard the emotions of what was probably meant to be a private conversation. Nobody said anything to Melody as she shoved open the door that led to the deck.

A few of us made awkward conversation until Gunner put another CD in, and the death metal resumed playing. He looked like he was fuming — his nostrils were flared, and his eyes were doing some weird, intense thing, and I joked to Rudy that he looked like Loki, the evil Norse god (because Gunner was Nordic, ha ha.)

A little while afterwards, Gunner motioned to me to come into his kitchen, which actually just consisted of a derelict fridge, a broken camp stove, and some wooden cabinets where he put his used takeout boxes. I zig-zagged my way over, and he put his hands on my shoulders.

“Melody wants a piece of this,” he slurred (he was obviously obliterated), motioning to himself. “She wants a piece of me,” he said again in a weird, drunken sing-song way, followed by a foul burp.

I refrained from telling him that Melody Armstrong definitely did not want a piece of him, as he had just called her a slut. Instead of saying anything, I patted him on the back and told him to sit down. He did, and he continued to speak.

All the ladies want a piece of Gunner. All of them.

This time I couldn’t help but chuckle and nod, because Gunner sounded like a ridiculous sleazebag.

He sang to himself again — this time his lyrics were “poppin’ cherries everywhere I go!” — and I began to laugh. The drunkest, the most pathetic, and the most unfiltered and uncalculating Gunner was trying to make himself sound like a virile sex stallion or some shit. I was laughing so hard, I almost started to cry. Granted, I was smacked and would have laughed at just about anything.

I was wheezing and wiping my eyes when I said to Gunner something along the lines of, “Dude, you disrespected her. We all heard it. I’m just saying, she probably doesn’t want a piece of you. Like not even a tiny piece, man.”

Like I was dreaming, Gunner’s expression soured, he pulled back his right arm and slammed a fist into my abdomen. He learned how to box freshman year, enough said. I curled up on the ground in the fetal position, retching. My eyes watered, and Gunner just stood over me, watching. Through the pain, I noticed that his face looked curious, and it reminded me of scientists. I guess the best way I can explain it is that it was like he was just watching me to see what would happen. He looked cold, detached. But my mind was still swimming with thoughts, and I felt overwhelmed, so I closed my eyes for a little bit.

After a while, I managed to stand up straight, but I was still reeling from shock. I felt a bit out of whack at that point, both physically and mentally, but I grabbed another beer from the cooler and headed out to the deck to sit and breathe. I chose a spot somewhat close to Melody, who was sitting alone and looking sort of pensive, but also pathetic. I popped the tab of my beer and took a few sips.

It was in that moment that I decided that Gunner was kind of an egotistical, sexist maniac. Somewhere deep inside of him, where his conscience was supposed to be, his ego just sat, watching his life happen, and majorly jerking off.

I said “Hey”,  to Melody. She didn’t say anything but sort of looked at me and half-smiled. She hadn’t been crying or anything, but her mouth was turned down at the corners and her eyes looked droopy. We were quiet for a few minutes, and I took a few sips.

But then, I don’t really know what came over me,  because I turned to her all of a sudden and said, “I’m leaving the crew.” She looked at me blankly. “I’m outta here. You should come with me. Not in, like, a weird way. But these guys are really weird. And Gunner’s an asshole.”

She nodded slowly and looked almost convinced, but maybe not convinced enough because after a second, she said she wasn’t sure, and that those guys were still her friends. I said cool. She said sorry. I said that it was no big deal. Then, she looked down, and that was the end of the conversation, so I took a few swigs from my can and got up and left from the back. I was done, gonzo, desaparecido.

I returned early the next morning when everyone was dead asleep, or too hungover to notice me, in order to gather up my stuff. That was the last time I went to the cabin. But it wasn’t the last time I spoke with Gunner. A few days later, after I had taken some time to regroup, I was in the library when Gunner walked in. He looked at me like he was curious, but he was also smiling in a weird way. Gunner’s smile is kind of scary, which just adds to his intimidating presence. His teeth are perfect and white, and his canines are really sharp because he underwent a procedure to have them filed into points a while back. The corners of his mouth pull away when he smiles, and so he kind of looks shark-like, predatorial.

Anyway, he said, “Hey bro, what’s up?” or something similar, and I responded in such a fashion. It had been a while. The group was doing well. I was fine back at my mom’s house, just helping her around the house and stuff. He asked me what had happened that night of his party, ‘cause I had just sorta disappeared. I made up some phony story about how my mom needed me to help move some furniture or some shit, and that I had drank a few too many anyhow and needed to rest.

He seemed to buy it though because he nodded and said, “Been there, man,” and that was the end of that. He had either been too drunk to remember the punching incident, or this was his weird way of apologizing. Either way, I had made my decision.

But in typical Gunner fashion, he brought the conversation back to himself. “Dude, you’ll never believe it. I hooked up with Raven a few nights ago, man! Let me tell you, that chick is a freak in the sheets. But she’s also a freak on the streets, so I guess just a freak overall.” He laughed at his own joke, and I smiled. Inside, though, I just felt like he was being a prick.

“And you wanna know something?” I didn’t say anything, but Gunner didn’t need encouragement. “Afterwards, she told me her real name! It was like, Caitlin or Maddy or some shit. I don’t remember.”

“Wow, man, that’s whack,” I responded, but the whole time I was thinking, What a fucking douchebag, he hooks up with a girl and then can’t even be bothered to remember her real name.

Needless to say, my friendship with Gunner was over. We made a little more awkward small talk, and then I came up with a shitty excuse to leave. He told me to come and stop by the cabin sometime soon, that my presence was “sorely missed” (which I didn’t really believe. Pagan satanists don’t really tend to form many meaningful attachments, I guess.) On my way out, we power-shook, and I began to walk away.

“Hey, Russ,” he called after me, and I turned to listen. “Blood brothers, man.”

I replied, “Blood brothers forever, dude.”

We nodded, and he said, “Wicked.”

And then, I walked away, and that was the last time we spoke. I don’t miss him.

Getting ready to leave my mother’s house was not particularly difficult. I don’t own very many things. My room didn’t look too different once I packed the necessary items into a backpack. Bliss had been sitting on the couch, dazed the whole week. I felt a bit concerned at first, but then reasoned with myself and decided that this could be good for her, not having anyone there to do shit. Maybe she’d take back her responsibilities and be a normal mom again by the time I came back. That was the only way I could reconcile leaving. I guess I do have a soft spot.

Saturday night came, and I felt really restless, but also nervous. I began to worry if maybe I shouldn’t leave Springfield at all, but I figured I’d never know if I’d made the right choice until I left. I’d already paid for the tickets — Springfield to Chicago, Chicago to San Francisco. I had no excuse to stay. Before leaving that morning, I left a note on the table for Bliss that said that I was leaving for a few weeks, and that she shouldn’t look for me or try to contact me. Not that I actually believed she’d go out of her way to get in touch. It was just a way for me to feel like I wasn’t just abandoning her. She’d be fine. My departure would be good, maybe even for both of us.

The morning was brisk for late August. The sun hadn’t fully come up yet and made the low-hanging clouds look like a child had finger-painted on them in an orangey pink color. My bag seemed lighter that morning, and I felt pretty good, or at least I felt much better than I’d felt the night before.

I walked quickly into town and up the hill onto the exit from Route 125. The walk from the exit that led into Pleasant Plains was pretty short, about ten minutes or so. Soon enough I was on the side of the highway, and I stuck out my thumb in order to hitch a ride into Springfield. A few cars passed by me, followed by gusts of wind and car exhaust fumes.

Finally, a pickup truck stopped, and the passenger door opened. I grabbed my stuff and jumped in. The guy who was driving the truck was short and had a beer belly and a thick brown mustache. He asked where I was headed. I said Springfield, and he nodded and said he was headed there himself. He introduced himself as Bud, I said my name was Russell, and we shook hands. There wasn’t much more to say, so Bud turned on the radio to the local country station, and I rested my head against the window of the truck. I liked how I could feel the cold glass pressed against my temple, vibrating softly.

After about forty minutes, we could see Springfield ahead of us. Bud asked where he should drop me off. I said the Amtrak station, and so that’s exactly where he left me, standing on the corner with my bag and a nervous fluttering in my chest.

 

Villainous: Start from Zer0

There is a world of good and evil, light and dark, heros and villains. The two contradict each other. Almost everyday there is a fierce battle between the two forces. The two have only one thing in common: an enemy. In this world, anti-heroes think that they are in charge because they believe they obtain both light and dark energy. This world is loaded with cities, towns, and villages just like on Earth. Eighty-nine percent of people in the world have powers or can obtain powers; the rest are humans.

When a child is born, his or her powers are tested to see if it will be useful for good, evil, or both. The children are blood tested to find out their power and their power level. This process is tested by human scientist under the anti-hero’s organization, A.H.. The humans test the power of the children when they are born to see if they are qualified to become a savage for evil or a variant for the good. In percentage, the numbers to become a savage or a variant are 70%-100%.

One day the hero with the name of Yuri was helping other heroes defeat a giant jackal that had entered the city Hatake. Yuri was one of the strongest heroes. Yuri had a light shade of brown skin, he usually wore a sweater and jeans, and his hair was black and spiky. Yuri also had a tattoo of a black line starting from above his eyebrow, in the middle, and ran down to his jaw. It was on both sides of his face, a sign of extreme power. People called Yuri the “Thunder Dragon” because he had the power to transform into a dragon and he had the power of lightning. The dragon was yellow with plenty of bone spikes emerging from his skin and black streaks near the spikes. The dragon had hard metal-like skin and it was smooth, too. But his bones were hard as diamonds and rough as bedrock. The dragon’s figure was aerodynamic giving him the ability to move as fast and graceful as a jet.

The jackal was intelligent with extreme power, and he went by the name Chaos. Chaos was decimating the city of Hatake. Yuri met a new female hero that day named Natsuko. Natsuko had smooth, dark skin and black hair. She had a mark of extreme power too, like Yuri does. It was a tattoo of a black line running from her cheek bones, not too far below from her eyes, and it ran through her nose to her other cheek bone. Right away, Yuri fell in love. Natsuko was then targeted by the jackal in the fight and the jackal attempted to slash Natsuko, but right before it happened Yuri used his powers to save her. With his hands, he and Natsuko gave birth to a child. They named him Zero.

After Natsuko gave birth, the child was sent to a baby nursery in the hospital’s basement.

Meanwhile, Natsuko rested in her bed. Then large thumps started to rush through the ground. The sounds were coming from right outside of the city. The sounds were getting closer and closer as the humans and superhumans stood in suspense. Yuri then transformed into a dragon flying up, gaining altitude, to see what was going on. “EVERYBODY GET DOWN!” Yuri shouted making his voice bounce off of the buildings, creating an echo so everyone in the city could hear him. Everyone listened to his command as a blast of light was shot out towards Yuri. Yuri dodged it with ease but the beam still continued to seek its destruction and blew up the city’s police precinct.

At that moment the city turned into chaos. Buildings on fire, broken down, smoke emerging from each and every corner. Humans, superhumans in agony, injured, bruised, broken. Yuri needed more help. The savages were sent out as back-up for Yuri from the villains, knowing he was the strongest person in the city at that moment. So then the Heroes decided to do the same, and they sent out their variants as back up. The human government sent jet fighters and choppers to attack after the superhumans did. A huge battle was about to begin but they couldn’t figure out what yet. The warriors waited patiently until the huge dust clouds and smoke died down so they could see what they were facing. Yuri impatiently flew into the smoke and used his wings to reveal his enemy. It was the demon king, Darton. Darton appeared with his ace: The Poison Dragon, Felong. Felong was purple and scaley. He had black drool emerging from his mouth that stuck to his lips as he opened his mouth to let out a roar. His roar made the drool splatter all over parts of the city. It was acid and it killed many people and decimated buildings.

“We are here for your child, Yuri!” exclaimed Darton.

“But why? For what reason?!” Yuri responded.

“He has a strong evil aura. And we would like to have his power.”

“Impossible! He is the son of two great heroes. That’s not even logical.”

“Trust me. Just hand the boy over and there will be no trouble.”

“Never! He’s my son. What makes you think I would just hand him over?”

“I predicted that you might say that. So if I can’t have him, no one can!” Darton informed Yuri.

At that moment Yuri was drowned in anger, and the power of the Thunder Dragon started to consume him. His eyes changed to a neon yellow merging and mixing with a neon orange color. His pupils then thinned out and stretched out like he had eyes of a snake. Then his vertebrae started to mutate then bony spikes started to emerge slowly out of his back, stretching his skin and piercing through the flesh, causing blood to splatter all over his skin. His teeth then started to convert into long, sharp, acute fangs. Then the cells and molecules in his fingers began to unite creating three fingers with frightening claws. His skin was then forced off by the yellow, metallic-like armor. His scapula was then stretched out from his back and it stretched out the new yellow skin on Yuri’s body, creating wings. Yuri’s body then expanded, and he transformed into the famous Thunder Dragon.

Felong and Darton were ready to fight. Yuri zoomed in towards Felong and covered himself in a coating armor of electricity and then tackled him. Felong’s wings became paralyzed as Yuri continued to attack and slammed him into the ground. Natsuko awoke from her sleep and looked out the window and saw the fight taking place. She was a bit scared but she didn’t care — she needed to help Yuri. Feeling better, she used her teleportation powers to place herself in the fight. She appeared right in front of Darton.

“Crap,” Darton solemnly stated.

Natsuko used her super strength and gave him an extreme punch and broke off his horn. Darton then used his size and strength to pick up a lamp-post and swatted Natsuko. She was already weak from giving birth so when she was whacked, she coughed up almost pints of blood.

“Natsuko!” Yuri cried in fear.

Yuri stopped wrestling with Felong and slashed his face, leaving him a giant scar with three claw marks. Yuri started to create a gust with his wings to take flight and to try and finish off Felong. He let out a huge blast of electricity, released from his mouth, and it was shot at his face.

Yuri escaped and dashed over to where Natsuko was.

The spikes, skin, fangs, claws, yellow skin, and neon eyes started to relax, and he turned back into his normal human form. He tried to help Natsuko get up and protect her from the demons. Then Darton ordered his demons to attack the two and they were left with scars, bruises, burns, and scrapes. Then Darton started to charge up a black beam of powerful dark energy with his hands and aimed it at Yuri and Natsuko. He released it towards them. Their bodies disappeared.

Hundreds of heroes appeared in fighting stances with death in their eyes ready to help their friends. Some flew, some on the ground. They tried to help the two but it was too late. Natsuko and Yuri were killed. And baby Zero was next.

“Those two tried to defy me, they are now dead! What are you going to do about it?” Darton informed the Heroes. “Whoever wants to end up like them, try to fight me!” Darton continued.

“We need to avenge them! Who’s with me!” a young hero with the name of Akiko cried.

“Yeah!” a group of heroes responded with hope.

“If that’s how you want to die, then okay. I will destroy your entire city then!” the Demon said with confidence.

At first, the villains didn’t care, but they decided to join in the fight along with the heroes. They did this for two reasons. They started to sense the boy’s power. Also they didn’t want their home to be destroyed. Villains and Heroes stood side-by-side to protect Zero. A fierce battle then started. Demons versus Superhumans. It went on forever, but then the superhumans won. They chased off the demons. There were already thousands of Heroes and Villains, but then the human government appeared with tens of thousands men, and hundreds of thousands of anti-heroes arrived under the A.H. organization.

The demons got scared and fled towards south to their base.

“This isn’t worth it anymore!” Darton exclaimed.

Everyone wanted to celebrate their success but they couldn’t — two great heroes had died and they felt really bad that they were too late. Even villains were upset. Some of them admired Yuri’s power and how he could control it so perfectly and turn into a fearsome beast like a dragon. And they respected and feared Natsuko’s extreme strength.

It was a sad but new start for a new beginning.

End of Part I

Epilogue

13 years later.

There was a crash of blue lightning flashing down the blocks of the city, with fiery blasts following it. The flames melted metals and heating cement as they sped down the block. The lightning created heated craters as it dashed through the city. The two seemed to be chased by something. It was the Police.

 

Have You Seen This Girl?

Part 1

Chapter 1

“That girl has been missing for seven years, Jordan,” the Chief Officer sighs, removing his glasses and setting down the notes I’d written on his desk. “There’s no way you could’ve found her.”

“For the last time, Chief Warren, she was there. She looked just like the girl in the picture.” I argue, hastily pulling out a crumpled picture of the girl from my bag.

The Chief reaches over his desk and rips the picture from my hands, looking down at it. “Except now she’s seven years older,” he mutters. “Why do you care so much about her now?”

“Please, you have to understand! She was there in the Glengarry Forest! I saw her, I swear!” I exclaim. I will not give up on this girl and her family.

“Listen here, Eva Jordan. Glengarry Forest is on the other side of the United Kingdom. If you remember correctly, that girl disappeared in the New Forest. I’m not going to send you and my officers on some sort of pretend mission. The girl is dead, Officer, and you have to understand that,” The Chief says in a menacing tone. “No four-year-old girl can survive in the woods alone for seven years. Just forget about her.”

As I walk out of his office, I say with grim determination, “Just you wait, Warren. I will find Delilah Johnson.”

I leave the Paddington Green Police Station in a rush of excitement. The Chief had finally agreed to let Benjamin give me Delilah’s case file for the billionth time. I kind of lied to him, saying I’d only look at it and make sure I couldn’t have actually seen Delilah Johnson.  I’ve done this investigation countless times, ever since she disappeared. But now I’m prepared and I know I won’t fail again. London’s icy winds howl and bite my cheeks, but I keep walking, even though I almost slip on the snowy floor. I pull my scarf over my nose and notice that the Christmas decorations are finally being put up. My mind is racing, thinking of all the crazy possibilities of what could have happened to the girl. I finally stop at Madam Puddifoot’s Cafe. I walk in and shake the snow from my boots and my hat. Old-fashioned Christmas carols pour out of the small radio, and multi-colored lights decorate the walls. The cafe smells of eggnog and Christmas trees. I walk up to the line and wait my turn. Finally, the people in front of me get their drinks and go to sit down. `

“Hello Eva,” Chloe, the cashier lady, smiles. “Same thing as usual?”

“Uh, yes please,” I answer.

“Are you okay, dear?” Chloe asks. “You seem… different.”

“I’m just really excited,” I whisper. I choose my words carefully for what I’m about to say next. “I’m working on… I’m working on a… a case.”

At this, Chloe laughs. “Oh, okay… That will be two pounds, please.”

“Here you go,” I say, handing her the money.

“Your coffee will be ready in a minute,” Chloe assures.

I sit down at a small table near the window and quickly open my black bag full of papers and pictures relating to the missing girl. I’m setting the evidence on the table when my name is called.

“Eva Jordan, regular coffee!”

I stuff the papers in my bag and haul it over my shoulder as I pick up my coffee. Chief Warren has said to keep this a secret and to not let anyone know what I am working on. He’s a weird guy. I set my coffee down on my small table and sit down again. I take all the files and images out of my bag again. One picture shows a small girl, four years old, with dark curly hair and big brown eyes. I open my laptop and start looking through all the pictures and videos I have of her.

I flip open the missing girl’s case file. Delilah was born on April 18th, 2006. She disappeared July 19th, 2009 in New Forest, England, at three years of age. She’d be ten years old now. She was wearing a pink knit sweater with cupcakes and blue pants. She was 37 inches tall and 32.6 pounds. Her hair color was dark brown. Her eyes were also dark brown. She lived in Surrey with her family.

I write down things in my notebook as I read articles, watch videos, look at pictures, and hear interviews. I write things like what color shirt she had been wearing the day she left, the exact address of where she was in New Forest that day, and what her personality was like. Then, I go to the more recent media.

Last week, I’d gone camping in the Glengarry Forest, Scotland, with my father, my sister, and my nephew. I had gotten up early to take a walk and to take pictures of the dawn, forcing my feet through the deep snow. I was already deep into the forest when I heard a branch snap above me. I turned around quickly and took a picture, thinking it would be some sort of interesting animal, but what I saw almost made me scream. It was not an animal, but a girl. She had wild curly hair with what seemed a new pair of blue pajamas with little clouds and stars. I could tell she was scared, but I managed to take a video of her as she leaped into another tree. She disappeared as quietly as she had arrived. Only when I got back to our tent and looked through the pictures did I realize that I may had just seen Delilah Johnson.

Chapter 2

The sun had already set a few hours ago when I decide to go home. I walk to my car, falling a few times on the snow. I’m so distracted that I almost get run over by a car as I cross the street. So Delilah disappeared in New Forest. New Forest is at the very south corner of England. But I also supposedly saw Delilah in Glengarry Forest, which is in the north of Scotland. It doesn’t add up. What little girl can cross two countries alone, without anyone noticing her?

I finally find my yellow Volkswagen through the blinding snow and quickly climb in. I decide to wait a while until the snow clears up a bit. Driving in the snow is hard, but driving in the night as well is harder. I’m turning the radio on when a face pops up through the window. I recognize her face immediately.

“There you are! Hi, Eva! Hi!” exclaims Morgan Anderson, wiping the fog and snow off my window.

I sigh. Morgan is also a police officer, and sometimes, I just can’t stand her. “Not now, Morgan, I’m busy.”

“No, Benjamin told me that you’re working on something! Is it on that Della girl? I can help, you know!”

“Her name is Delilah,” I mutter through clenched teeth. Why does this girl have to come now, of all times? And why on earth did Benjamin tell her about my mission to find Delilah? That’s classified information! “And no, you can’t help me. So just leave me alone, thank you.”

“I want to help! Really!” Morgan calls, jumping up and down. “Let me in! Or else I won’t leave, and I’ll keep screaming at you through this window.”

I sigh even louder. What is it with Morgan? I unlock the door. “Get in,” I mumble, banging my head against the driving wheel. Why did I let Morgan in again?

“So what’s first, Officer Jordan?” she laughs, clapping her hands in excitement.

I look at her like, Are you serious? “First, please just calm down,” I beg.

“Okay, done.”

“Second, leave me alone.”

“What? But we’re partners in crime now!” Morgan argues.

“No, we are not.” I explain, taking a deep breath and wondering how long I’ll be able to stand this girl. Morgan is probably the most carefree officer I know. “All you’re doing is helping me in this mission, okay?”

“Fine, but that still makes me your partner in crime.”

I ignore her comment. “We’re going to my office. We’re buying tickets for a plane to Scotland, and we’re going to Glengarry forest, and we’re going to find that girl.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

I start the engine and drive back to Paddington Green. We cross the lobby, ride the elevator, and walk into my office, number 713. I immediately go over to the huge chart I have of Delilah on the wall, removing the old sheet on top of it. The chart is made up of pictures, clips from articles, maps, and more. I turn to Morgan and see her sitting on my chair with her feet on my desk.

“Morgan!” I hiss. “Get your feet off my desk!”

Morgan jumps up. “Jeez!”

“So look. Delilah was three when she disappeared, right?” I begin, pointing to the last picture her parents were able to get of her.

“Right,” Morgan says, walking up to the chart and sweeping her eyes over it with curiosity.

“That happened July 19th, 2009. Seven years ago.”

“Mm-hm,” Morgan nods. “But how is it possible that she’s still alive? Where’s your evidence?”

I detach three pictures from the wall and give them to her. “See the picture on the left? That’s in Liverpool, September, 27th, 2011. A man was hiking and was able to capture a picture of Delilah. She’s running through the woods. See her? She’s by that beech tree.”

“Okay… ” Morgan says, squinting at the picture. “But there are a lot of ten year old girls with curly brown hair in the U.K.… “

“Exactly. But how many ten-year-old girls with curly brown hair have disappeared in the last decade?” I observe. “The picture in the middle was taken in New Galloway, during the year 2014. That’s Delilah there. She’s sitting on that rock.”

“Mm,” Morgan replies.

“And the last picture was taken by your ‘partner in crime’ last week, when she was camping. Delilah’s in that tree, wearing the blue pajamas. She’s in the middle tree.”

“Wow,” Morgan says. “So we’re actually going to Scotland?”

“Yup,” I answer, sitting down on my desk and turning my laptop on.

“Does the Chief know?”

“No. Don’t tell anyone. The Chief would never let us go.” I tell her seriously, as I buy our tickets for Scotland. I print the tickets out and give two to Morgan. “One of those is your ticket for the train, and the other is for the airport. We’re taking Heathrow Express from Paddington Station. You better be there by 4:00 AM sharp.”

“Thank you,” Morgan gushes, looking down at her blue ticket. Her bright green eyes, framed by a pair of big brown glasses, gleam with excitement.

“And here… ” I say, giving her another ticket, “is your ticket for Inverness. We depart from Heathrow Airport and arrive at Inverness Airport. British Airways. The plane leaves at 6:00 AM, and we board the plane at Gate 45.”

“Heathrow Express from Paddington Station. Be there at 4:00 am sharp. Heathrow to Inverness at 6:00 AM. British Airways. Gate 45,” Morgan repeats. “Okay, got it.”

Chapter 3

The birds aren’t even singing when I wake up. It’s all dark and silent, except when the occasional car comes down the street. I wonder what I’m doing up so early. I suddenly remember: I’m going to find Delilah Johnson! I’m going to Scotland with Morgan Anderson!

I fly out of bed and flip the lights on in my bedroom. I make the bed as quickly as possible. I’m so excited that everything seems to go by in a blur. I pull on a pair of dark blue jeans, thick, grey socks, and a blue and white striped shirt, and then dash into the kitchen. I quickly make myself a piece of toast with orange marmalade, a cup of coffee, and a Ziploc bag of fruit. I decide that I’m going to take my breakfast and eat it on the way to the airport. I zip up my faded green parka and put my boots on. I pack my hat, my scarf, and my gloves in my backpack, grab my suitcase and my breakfast, and I’m off.

I run down the street, trying to catch a taxi. The streets are dark, lit only by moonlight and a few lampposts here and there. I can barely see through the snow that threatens to blind me. After a few minutes, a taxicab driver sees me and pulls up. The driver gets out of his car and helps me stuff my suitcase into the trunk.

“Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you,” I repeat, closing the door as I get in the back seat. “I’ve been waiting forever in all that snow, oh my God.”

The driver, a plump guy in his fifties, nods. “My pleasure, missy. Name’s Tom. Where you headed?”

I look out the window. “Paddington Station, sir.”

We ride through my city, watching all the Christmas decorations that are being put up. From a distance, I see Paddington station, already alive and bustling with people. I pull my thick, dark brown hair into a quick bun and put my grey-white hat on.

“So, where you headed this early?” Tom asks a few minutes later, pulling up next to the station.

“I’m on my way to Scotland,” I answer merrily, handing him eleven pounds as he helps me with my suitcase.

Tom gets in his taxi. “Good luck, missy,” he calls.

I wave at him as I roll my suitcase into Paddington Station. I bump into a few people here and there as I look for Morgan. I look down at my watch. It reads 3:26 AM. I swear, if Morgan isn’t here on time, I’ll… I’ll do something to her. Something bad.

After waiting ten minutes, I decide to call her. My phone rings about seven times before she answers.

“Hello?” Morgan yawns.
“Morgan!” I say loudly. “Where are you?”

“Umm… “ Morgan mumbles. “Ummm… “

I can’t believe her. “Morgan! Wake up! Where are you?”

The phone is silent for a few seconds. “I’m in London.”

“Yes, I know, Morgan, but where exactly?”

“I’m outside my house. Trying to get a stupid taxicab.”

I sigh loudly. “You have exactly twenty two minutes! Hurry up!”

“Okay, okay.”

I hang up. I knew I should’ve just picked Morgan up and brought her with me. Now she’s gonna miss her train. I pace the station, thinking of ways I could fix this. If she misses her train, she can just buy tickets for a later one… but then she’d miss the plane. She has a car, so she can also drive to Scotland… A few minutes later, my phone rings. It’s Morgan.

“Hello?” I say.

“Hi, Eva. I’m in a taxi now, like five minutes away,” Morgan mutters. I can hear the sleepiness in her voice.

“Okay. The train leaves in about fifteen minutes.”

“Fine. I’m on my way.”

I walk over to the schedule for the Heathrow Express. It’s delayed, arriving in twenty minutes. I silently pray that Morgan will make it. The station isn’t as busy as usual, since it’s only 3:43 in the morning. But still, people push past me and yell at each other and all the usual business. I sit down on a bench by the entrance so I can see Morgan when she walks in. I take out my Goblet of Fire book while I wait for Morgan. You’re never too old for Harry Potter. All of a sudden, my phone rings again. I reach into my backpack and pull it out. It’s Morgan. Again.

“Morgan? Are you here?” I ask.

“Yup. Where are you?” Morgan says.

“I’m here, right by the entrance.”

“No, you’re not.”

My stomach suddenly drops to my feet as I realize something. “Morgan — where are you?”

“Um… King’s Cross,” Morgan begins. “Why?”

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. “Morgan! Morgan! It’s Paddington Station! Paddington!”

The phone is silent for a long stretch of minutes. “Oh. Whoops.”  

I start breathing heavily. “Are you kidding me? What are we supposed to do now?” I practically yell. My watch reads 3:52 AM. “Okay. Morgan, pay attention.”

“Okay.”

“King’s Cross is like eleven minutes away by cab, right?”

“Yeah.”

I look over at the wall. There’s a bus that connects Paddington Station to King’s Cross. It leaves in two minutes. “Listen, Morgan, the train is delayed by five minutes. We have thirteen minutes left. Is there a bus schedule around you?”

Morgan pauses before saying, “Yeah, why?”

“Can you see the bus that will bring you to Paddington Station?”

“Yes.”

“It leaves at 3:55 AM,” I inform, looking at the schedule anxiously. “Think you’ll make it?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll make it!” Morgan cheers excitedly. “Of course I’ll make it!”

“Then, go!”

“Okay! Bye!” Morgan exclaims.

Chapter 4

I sit down on the bench again, hoping and praying that Morgan will make it. I’m too anxious to keep reading my book, or to do anything else, really, other than think about all the worst things that could happen. What if Morgan’s bus crashes? Or what if she got on the wrong bus? What if she misses her stop? I decide to call her to make sure.

“Hello?” Morgan says. “Eva?”

“Yeah, hi Morgan. What bus are you on?”

“I’m on 167T, I think,”

I give a long sigh of relief. “Okay, good.”

I hear Morgan ask someone something. Then, she tells me, “The driver says we’ll be there at 4:05.”

“That means you’ll make it just when the train arrives,” I gasp, not knowing whether I should be relieved or worried about this.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be in Scotland faster than you can say ‘Delilah,’ okay?”

“Delilah.”

“Aren’t you funny?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” I answer.

“Bye,” Morgan says.

A few minutes later, I see a redhead wearing a grey beanie, a red pea coat, and brown boots, dragging a suitcase splattered with paint behind her. I jump up, grab my suitcase and my backpack, and run after her.

“Morgan!” I call, running after her.

“Eva?” she says, turning around to look at me. “Hi, Eva!”

“Yes, hi,” I pant. Then, I look down at my watch, which now says 4:05. “Come on, quick!”

I drag Morgan behind me, through crowds of people, past restaurants, maps, and more. We finally arrive at the station, where the conductor is getting the last few people on board. I yelp and bound up the stairs to the train, and Morgan leaps in after me. We put our suitcases in the overhead compartments and just as the train pulls out of the station, we find two seats near the window and sit down.

I sigh, relieved that through all this mess, we made it. I look up at the white ceiling, so grateful that we’re on this train, already on our way to the airport.

“One of these days, you’re gonna give me a heart attack,” I tell Morgan.

Morgan tugs on her brown Ray-Bans. “Sorry about that,” she says, then laughs. “Honestly, I’d lose my head if it weren’t attached to my shoulders.”

I suddenly snap my head forward and look at Morgan. “Did you remember your tickets?”

“Oh, um…” Morgan mumbles, rummaging through her backpack. She then pulls out two tickets, a blue one and a white one. “Here you are! Ha, suckers! I found you!”

“Thank goodness,” I whisper to myself and look down the aisle. The train is well lit, with two columns of plush blue chairs that run down each side. To my surprise, the train is pretty full. I can hear a baby wailing a few rows ahead. I reach into my bag and take out my packed breakfast. My coffee’s still hot, since I put it in my best thermos this morning before I ran out. I take the top of the thermos off to let it cool down a bit. I’m biting into my deliciously still warm, crunchy, orange marmalade toast when I notice Morgan looking at it with longing.

“What?” I ask, with a mouth full of bread and marmalade.

“I’m really hungry…”

“Didn’t you eat breakfast this morning?”

“I didn’t have time,” Morgan says.

I stop to think about it for a second. Then, I rip half of the toast off and hand a piece of it to her.

“Thank you so much, Eva!” Morgan cheers, carefully handling her bread and looking down at it as if it were gold.

“Don’ werry ‘bowit,” I blurt, my mouth stuffed with my delicious toast. Then, I notice the conductor is coming down the aisle, collecting the tickets. “Morgan, get your ticket out.”

“Which one?” Morgan asks.

“The blue one,” I tell her, taking mine out of my jacket’s pocket.

“Oh, okay.”

The conductor finally reaches us. She has a badge that reads “Conductor Lilith King.”

“Hi, ladies,” she says, reaching for both of our tickets. “Where you goin’?”

I hastily wipe my mouth with my napkin. “To Scotland.”

“Beautiful place, Scotland,” the conductor smiles, punching some holes in our tickets with a small metal contraption. I forget its name. “I was born there, you know.”

“Cool,” Morgan nods, finishing her toast. My toast.

The conductor bids us good luck and moves on to the next pair of chairs. I decide to share my Ziploc bag full of fruit with Morgan. The train speeds past tall buildings, stores, houses, cars, and restaurants. Morgan braids her silky red hair as I finish my last strawberry. The snow outside has started to calm down, and only a few snowflakes swirl to the floor now and then. The Heathrow Express then zooms into a dark tunnel and emerges at the airport before coming to a halt.

“Thank you for boarding the Heathrow Express. Please gather all your belongings before exiting. Please be careful when exiting the train, and watch your step. I wish you all safe travels, and have a good day,” Lilith the conductor instructs through the megaphone.

I haul my bag over my shoulders and put the lid on my coffee thermos, which didn’t manage to cool down at all. I reach into the compartment above our seats and pull Morgan’s paint-splattered suitcase and my indigo one out. I give Morgan her suitcase, then double check the chairs to make sure we didn’t leave anything.

We wait until most of the people have exited the train, and then we cross the aisle to the doors, where the conductor is standing.

“Thank you,” Morgan nods towards her.

The conductor smiles. “My pleasure, miss.”

I wave goodbye as we step off the train, facing the huge Heathrow Terminal 5 in front of us. The white marble floor seems to stretch out for miles. The ceiling is made up of large, white, graceful arches, and the walls are made of glass, which allows a clear view of the planes taking off. The airport is full of people. I mean full of people. People sitting in cafes, people waiting in lines, people running about trying to catch planes. Restaurants and shops are also everywhere. There’s a Starbucks, a Pret A Manger, a Gordon Ramsay restaurant, and more. There’s also a Chanel, a Rolling Luggage, a Ted Baker, a Mulberry, and a Hamleys. I sweep my eyes over it all, trying to look at everything at once.

“Look! A Hamleys!” Morgan tugs on my arm. “Can we please go look? Please? I need a Christmas gift for my cousin!”

I look at my watch, which says 4:21. “Fine. But we have only like an hour and a half left.”

“Yay!” Morgan exclaims, skipping ahead of me with her suitcase bobbing behind her.

We enter Hamleys, a big red toy store. It’s the biggest toy store in England. Displays in the middle of the floor are packed with Barbies, Legos, stuffed animals, clothes, action figures, masks, and more. Morgan seems like she belongs in this store with her red coat, her peculiar but colorful jewelry, and her iconic, paint-splattered suitcase.

She zooms throughout the store, stopping here and there to admire different clothes and toys. Once in awhile, she comes to me, showing me the toys she likes and asks whether she should get them. I look around the store as well, getting ideas at what some of my younger relatives would like. Then, Morgan goes to the cashier, where she pays for a bag full of toys. I wait for her outside. Sometimes, too many things and colors at once can give me a headache. Morgan skips her way toward me, through the racks and displays of toys. Then, I notice something catches her eye, and she starts walking to the side of the store. I lose her among the blurs of toys and clothes.

“Morgan?” I call, stepping closer to the shop.

After a few minutes of silence, Morgan answers. “Eva. Eva, come quick. You need to see this.”

I walk briskly towards her, almost crashing into a stack of Barbies. I finally find Morgan, crouching over a rack of toddler clothes. “What is it?” I ask bitterly. “You almost scared me.”

“No, look,” Morgan points to the rack. Hanging there are some pairs of blue pajamas. “Look closely.”

I suddenly notice the pattern on the pajamas, and my eyes widen. Blue pajamas with little clouds and stars. “Oh my God,” I whisper, covering my mouth in surprise. Because I know who owned a pair of pajamas like these. I know who was wearing these the day she disappeared.  

Morgan looks at me and nods slowly, biting her bottom lip. “Delilah Johnson was here.”

End of Part 1

 

Basketball

As the clock winds down, Jake’s teammates look up at the scoreboard with anticipation. Leading the Wolves by two points with just thirty-eight seconds to go, Jake and the Sharks are looking to seal the win. Jake passes to Chris who looks for a way to get to the basket. Just one bucket would be enough for the Sharks to win tonight. Just one bucket and the game would be over.

As Chris drives to the basket, the opposing team’s players all crash on him. He would have to get rid of the ball or it would be forcefully turned over. With a quick prayer, Chris tosses the ball behind him, just as the other team’s players surround him. A Wolves player gets a hand on the ball, stealing it and dribbling up the court. He is completely open, nobody stands between him and the basket. He takes a few more steps and completes his layup, scoring two points. The score is even, 64-64.

The Sharks inbound the ball to Jake, and he lets the clock tick as he slowly dribbles up the court. With the game in his hands, he knows what he has to do, and everybody on his team is counting on him to do it. Standing just in front of the midcourt line, Jake watches the clock. …15, 14, 13… His heart is beating with anticipation and his blood is filled with adrenaline. …11, 10, 9…. Feinting left, Jake sprints up the court, leaving his defender reeling. As he dribbles towards the paint, other defenders launch towards him trying to get in his way. …6, 5… Jake immediately stops in his tracks and jumps up. Nine faces on the court look up at Jake as his feet leave the ground. Letting go of the ball, Jake watches as it soars through the air, rotating slowly. …3, 2… The ball swishes through the hoop followed by an emphatic cheer. …1…

As the buzzer sounds, Jake is swarmed by his teammates. Like every other night, Jake becomes a hero for the Sharks, a star who is able to lead his team to victory regardless of the opponent. Scanning the crowd, Jacob sees familiar faces. Parents of his teammates smile proudly, clapping and cheering. Jake sees the parents of the losing team, their faces shrouded in disappointment. A few scouts sit in the stands, each with a clipboard or laptop in hand. Their attire, dark blazers and nice shirts, stand out amongst the other fans. Although the stands are overflowing with spectators, Jake is completely undaunted. Nobody in the stands today is someone that Jake wants to see him play. Nowhere among the large crowd is his mother.

Cry Stone Tears

Chapter 1: Soul

I know who he is.
He does not know me.
Here’s what’s important:
I believe I can read his soul.

***

“Do I know you?” my friend said.
“No, you don’t. You never did.”
Now, she remembered me. There were tears in her eyes. “But don’t you know me?” she asked. “Don’t you remember?”
“Yes,” I said. “I do. I’d know you from a thousand miles.”
She thought I was going mad. Or that maybe I was sick. But I wasn’t. I was just fine.

***

They told me I never stopped reading.
And it was true. I never did. I was always reading.
I read books.
I also read souls.
But I could not read my own.

***

I used to sit during recess. Used to read a book. And I used to watch. I watched the other kids running around and laughing, playing tag. And I noticed things. Noticed that the prissy fourth-grader near the fence admired another girl in her class, and that she wanted to befriend her. It wasn’t working. I could see that. Noticed that the girl across the yard was friends with some of the boys. That was unusual. Talked with them. There was one boy who hated her. I could see the hate in his eyes. No one else could. They all thought she was a bit of a tomboy. I thought she was like a rosebush. Hard thorns encasing a sweet flower. But no one else saw. I never talked to any of them. I still knew.
Outside, I think I was normal. I talked and laughed and chased my friends. I teased the other kids. Made new friends. They all told me I was calm.

“You’re so calm,” they would say. “How are you so calm?”

“I’m not,” I would reply.

They insisted I was anyway. I don’t think it mattered what I said. All the teachers had different opinions of me. Some told my mom I was too shy.

“Kai doesn’t participate enough. She’s too quiet,” they told her.

I wasn’t shy at all. I just didn’t think the questions were worth answering. The teachers didn’t realize that. I have a lot of friends. Every single one of them tells people they know me inside and out. My soul isn’t inside out. It’s hidden. Only I can find it. I laughed inside when they said things like that.

It all started with a book. As usual.

The book was called Friends, and it consisted of quotes from kids of all ages. As I read those quotes, I felt a rush of understanding. Like I knew what each kid was thinking as they wrote it. I did.

One boy, age four, said, “Having a friend is better than having a brother sometimes.” I knew he had a recent fight with his brother. He wasn’t mad at him or anything. He was just drawing conclusions. Adults don’t take four-year-olds seriously. They don’t get that there’s actual reasoning behind their statements. Later on, I found I could do the same thing with people.

I first saw him when I was reading. He was resting briefly beside me after doing some fierce running.

Another girl, who later turned out to be the tomboy, said, “Hey Rowan.”

He didn’t answer. It was then that I knew he hated her. By denying the return of a simple greeting, he had inadvertently shown his dislike of her. He only stuck with her because the rest of the boys did. That stuff was common among them. I believe he was actually somewhat more insightful than the others. I had a mild interest in him because of that. He wasn’t good enough to read souls though. Like mine.

Once, I wanted to test him, see how good he was at controlling his emotions and figuring out those of others.

I said, “ You don’t like that girl, do you?” I pointed at the same one he had refused to greet.

He looked at me suspiciously. “That’s none of your business.” Case closed.

He didn’t know. My head was like a battlefield. Part of me wished other people could understand me, that I was a person, and that I had a soul too. I wasn’t just the calm girl reading books on the sideline. The other part liked being anonymous. Liked being able to read other’s emotions and render them incapable of reading mine.

Reading souls is like being able to discern personality at a glance. Normally, people know each other for years and can’t figure it out. I could do it at a glance. Sometimes, it scared me. And people claimed I was normal. Sure.

 

Chapter 2: She Came Again

There used to be a girl I knew. Her name was Camryn. She was from Thailand and had the most gorgeous hair, down to her waist. It was black, silky, and she paid absolutely no attention to it. What she did pay attention to was soccer. She would put up her locks in a bun and play, day in, day out. She played after school, during recess, everywhere. The only time she stopped was to one: criticize me, and two: upbraid me for reading. Again.

Despite that major difference, we were still friends. Last year, she moved and changed schools. Never saw her again. That is, until now. I was walking home. My house is a bit far for walking, but I liked the view and the scenery, so I walked. I decided to clear-cut through the park, and I stopped next to a tree to watch a group of kids playing soccer. Camryn was one of them, of course. I felt a little jolt in my heart; I had imagined her for so long that to actually see her was a bit of a shock. I still wasn’t particularly surprised or anything. It was only when I realized she was on the verge of tears that I felt something other than calm. That something was concern. She ran past me, holding the object of her worries. The soccer ball. It was encased in some sort of wire, and apparently, no one had managed to get it off. She ran past me, distraught. I grabbed her arm. She turned.

“Do I know you?” my friend said.

“No, you don’t. You never did.”

Now, she remembered me. There were tears in her eyes. “But don’t you know me?” she asked. “Don’t you remember?”

“Yes,” I said. “I do. I’d know you from a thousand miles.”

She thought I was going mad. Or that maybe I was sick. But I wasn’t. I was just fine.

“Kai,” she said, confusion in her voice, but at the same time, relief. Hesitating and unsure, she changed the subject to her object of woe. “Can you pull this off? Please? We have a game and the other team will kill us because it’s our turn to bring the ball!”

I took the ball and examined it. I sat down and pulled off the wire, bit by bit. It was rather difficult, and my hands were scratched, but I just handed the ball to her and hid my hands behind me. Camryn hugged me then.

“Good luck!” I called. I did not know if she heard. I had a feeling she did. Usually, those feelings were right.

I walked home. I had a headache. Or maybe a heartache. I couldn’t tell. But I did lie down on my bed. My parents were not yet home from work. For now, I could rest. Rest and think. Think. That was my last thought before I fell asleep.

I was crying on the shore, my reflection distorted by the waves below. Each of my tears turned into smooth, white pebbles. They piled up around me until I could not find my way out. I was clawing helplessly against the growing sculpture when I felt a shadow over me. I looked up and a lock of hair, gorgeous, black hair, fell to the floor. I heard a piercing scream.

“Don’t hurt her! She’s my friend!” I called in vain. The wall was getting higher and higher. I cried out as the stones began to choke me. I woke up. Something was underneath me. It was a smooth, white stone. I trembled, and the strength left my body.

***

They told me I was sick afterwards.

I did not go to school.
I knew that nightmare.
It
was the same one
That I had
After that day
On the river
When I watched the little girl
Scream
Fall in the water
And she nearly drowned.
And the same nightmare
I had after every time I cried.
I stopped crying then.
I didn’t want to cry
Ever again.
So I didn’t.

***

I was trusted with secrets by my friends: hopes, dreams, fears. I think it reassured them that I could take it without fuss, that I could comfort them with perfect confidence and not seem equally worried.

***

It was easier then.
But not so easy.

 

Chapter 3: Run

I walked up to the park the following week, and I watched my sporty friend Camryn practice. She was good, I had to admit. I walked up every week after that too, at least twice. Most of the time, she never noticed me, but that was fine. Seeing her was all I expected. I always sat at a distance so as not to disturb the players, and sometimes, I brought a book to keep me company. It was almost peaceful there. Sometimes, some of the neighborhood kids would watch too; they were not very nice and yelled insults at the players when they made mistakes. This led to more creative and elaborate schemes, such as yelling while riding by on a bicycle, threatening to steal the ball, and running in front of the players in the middle of the game. Obviously, it wasn’t so peaceful anymore, but Camryn was fine, and all was well. That is, until the stones.

***

They threw stones at them
Smooth, white stones
And they laughed
When one girl
Hit hard in the face
Fell to the ground
My friend is angry now
Very angry
And she yells
And screams
And curses
Those wretches
When they aim
A rock
A big one
At her
I jump in front of her
They were surprised
And I was more
Surprised
To find myself
In mid air
And crashing senseless
To the ground.
I am surrounded
Stoned
Like a criminal
I was just trying
To be a good friend
My stomach is bleeding
I cannot breathe
And my shoulder
Seems broken
After the fall.
Camryn
She is crying now
Though I am silent.
I’m sorry
I didn’t mean to upset her
I’m sorry.
They are gone now
I hear someone say
Camryn
is running to me now
She is turning me over
And examining me
Oblivious to my blood
Sinking into her clothing.
I missed you
I manage to gasp out
I cling to her
Before the world goes black
And I see nothing.
But I feel her arms around me.
Chapter 4: When All is Quiet

It hurts
And I don’t want it
Make it stop
Stop
It hurts
Please stop
Please
Please.
Someone is holding me
Stroking my back
Soothingly
I want Camryn
I want to see
If she is alright
Camryn
I am calling her
I am kicking
I don’t want to be here
I want to find Camryn
But she is here
She is with me
She is holding me
In her lap.
Camryn.
Cry
She says
It’s alright
It’s okay
To cry now
Just cry.
I can’t cry anymore.
I shut my eyes
And the tears come
But they are there
In my eyes
Like stones
I don’t know how to cry
I can’t even cry
Stone tears.
I want to close my eyes
Shut my ears
It’s too loud
Even
When all is quiet.
Shhh
She holds a finger
To my lips
I try to turn away
I kick
Trying to escape
That noise
Resounding
It is my heart
And that scares me.
She holds me
I am too weak
To struggle
I have no strength
No more
Than an infant.
I can’t be strong anymore
I forgot
I can only be weak
Weak and helpless.
And I collapse and close my eyes.
A nurse comes in
She lifts up my shirt
My shoulder is sore
It is bandaged
And hard to move.
I look down
And my stomach
Is scarred
Purple streaks
Mixed with blood.
The nurse
She is wrapping
The white
The long
Bandages
Around
My waist.
It hurts
I try
To pull away
But I can’t
And I am shaking
So hard
I can’t breathe.

There is a mask around my mouth.
It’s an oxygen mask
And it forces the air
Into my lungs
And I am winded
As if
I ran
A thousand miles.
When the nurse
Goes out
Camryn
Takes off
The oxygen mask
Breathe
She says
I feel like I’m drowning
Like that little girl
That little girl
Falling in the river.

But she has pulled me out
And I breathe.
She cannot understand me
And she never will
But she
Can read my soul.
And then
I know
I am not alone.
Before
I was calm
And I could not cry
Not even
Stone tears.
I cry now
And my tears are not stone
They flow
in accordance
With my soul.
And Camryn holds me through it all.
We are silent
But we are one
And I am whole.
I am exhausted
And I fall
Into a restless
Sleep.
I cried
My heart out
But there is no nightmare
There is no stone.
Only quiet.
I stayed with her at the hospital that night.
In the morning
I looked out the window
and at the river
and my last thought was
It’s beautiful.
As I looked up
I seemed to see myself
walking again
along the shore.
And I whispered
I whispered it again
and said it once more
I know now
I know
that I’m not alone.

The Last One’s Plague

Darkness. That was all Zephyr felt. It was one of the rare times when he had gotten scared. His arms and legs turned cold. Beads of sweat formed on his temples. He started to hyperventilate. He had no idea where he was, what he was doing, or even what time period he was in. He could not remember his past and wanted answers desperately. The only things he could remember were his name, an explosion in a lab, and… something about him surviving a genetic breakdown.

Zephyr had been in that exact spot for a whole night. Or more. The sun rays had found their way through the cracks in the concrete that encased him. He felt heavy, weary, and solid. He tried to move his legs, but couldn’t. He forced his arms upwards and pushed away the concrete on top of him. He found an isolated metal rod that gave him leverage to help him remove the concrete that was lying on his feet.

On the ground near him, he saw a dead person. He ambled up to examine the corpse. The eyes were not in their sockets, and the skin around the mouth and nose were peeling off. Dried blood was on the ear lobes, the skin under the eyes, and the philtrum. The person’s body looked like he or she had not eaten in several days. The skin around the chest could not be seen, exposing the rib cage and the shrivelled organs underneath it. He bent down to inspect the lung. It had several dark spots and looked like it had imploded or had been eaten from inside out.

“Ew!” he exclaimed.

As he stood up, he looked around at his surroundings for the first time. Worn down, abandoned buildings with broken windows and paint peeling off of the walls. Fires, raging inside the buildings and smoldering the grounds near them. Smoke was rising into the air from various places, intoxicating all the oxygen, and giving a pungent taste to the air. The blazing sun had camouflaged itself into the vain, orange sky.  Dawn became dusk.

Smoke clouded his lungs. His throat felt dry, and his eyes felt like they were on fire, thanks to the dust that was polluting the air. His clothes were torn and ragged, showing off his once lacerated skin. On his shirt pocket, there were large bold letters: O-M-E-G-A.

Did I work there? He pushed that thought away. His shoes were piles of mud. He assumed that it had come from walking around on the turbid puddles on the ground. Nasty.

As he looked up from the ground, he saw a shrewd building. It was a bit bigger than the size of an average house. If he squinted, he could make out the larger version of the letters on his shirt on the front of the building.

“Omega, huh? Seems like a pretty big deal!” he shouted. His voice broke the sound of silence, with the exception of the roar of the fire.

He walked over to the once architectural masterpiece. The doors would not open, so he went in through the rear, watching what each of his feet stepped on. When outside, it looked like a modern house some rich guy owned, but when inside, it looked like a high-tech, next-level lab of some sort. Although it was completely obliterated, he thought it looked kind of classy, apart from the broken windows, of course.

Zephyr traipsed over to the nearest fallen desk and picked up a file. He opened it up to see a table with multiple names:

1

As he looked down to the bottom of the list, he saw his own name.

screenshot-2016-12-22-at-11-05-57-am

And the page stopped there. He wanted to… No, he needed to know more.

He went over to another desk and picked up another file. Nothing. He picked up a file on the floor. Nothing. He went over to a cabinet that had fallen over.

Subjects: List A-180 – A-230.

Weird, he thought. There were only 228 people, but the label said there were 230.

“Maybe they got the label before starting the program,” he laughed to himself.

He kneeled down and reached for the cold, rusted metal door. He yanked at the handle; it wouldn’t budge.

“Locked? Darn it!”

He sauntered towards a misshapen piece of metal. He firmly grasped at the part that looked like a pole and went back to the hindering cabinet. He brought back the metal and swung down with a brutal amount of force on the hinges of the door. The screws came out the side.

“Nice!”

He took another two swings at the other hinges, and one of the doors popped right off. He groped inside at a handful of folders and pulled them out.

He found the one with his name on it and picked up a chair from the ground.

“This should be interesting.”

He sat down and started reading the file’s contents:

screenshot-2016-12-22-at-11-35-07-am

Was this really his past? He struggled to remember the past. Struggled to think about where he came from. His wife and son. Were they still alive? If they were, where were they? Questions raced through his mind. The rest he thought was just a bunch of junk about his genes and some survival stuff.

He scavenged what was useful: some frozen food, two-and-a-half bottles of water, and a flashlight without batteries. Maybe he would find some. He also took the clothes off of some dead guy and put them on. Gross, but still better than his. After an hour of scavenging, he also found a nine millimeter pistol (not that he would need it) and a picture of him with a lady holding a child. Maybe his wife and son? He had found a blade that he could use for cutting things, a lighter, and a torn, worn out backpack. He put whatever he could inside and left the building.

Nighttime. The sky was so clear. Stars visible every time he looked up. He somehow knew the names of some constellations. Orion — the hunter. Both Ursa major and minor — the great bears. Gemini — the twins and other different star formations.

The cold was killing him. He sat down and pulled out his old clothes — yes, he had kept them — and used his shirt to wrap it around his body. He took out his lighter and lit his old pants on fire for warmth. He opened his backpack and took out some of the frozen food. He was lying down in a small hole formed by the fallen rubble outside the lab. The light of the moon found its way into the nooks and crannies of the top of his shelter. He closed his eyes and slept a dreamless night.

He woke up at the first light and made his way back to the lab. He had to find a way to contact another person. He rewired the satellite dish on the top and connected it to a broken holo computer on the ground. He pulled off the energy cable and connected it to solar panels on the roof. Nothing. It was not getting enough energy. He made a series circuit and connected a transformer cord. The light blinked on. Yes! He took the headset off a corpse on the ground and plugged it into the auxiliary port.

He spoke into the microphone: “Hello. If you are receiving this message, please trace the signal back to origin. Please try to make contact. Broadcast this message near you, so that we can gather together to do something about our present situation.”

He took apart the mainframe of another broken computer and installed it into the one he was using. He formatted it so that when he received a message, it would amplify an ear-piercing screech to let him know that there was someone there. Over the course of the next two weeks, he tried sending out smoke signals and shouting for anyone who was possibly near him.

He had gotten quite familiar with his surroundings, so he knew where everything was. A demolished supermarket was his new source of food. Dusty, moldy, cold food. A condominium that had fallen down was where he spent the night. The lab’s computer room was where he was during the whole day.

After spending a month or two surviving, he went over to the open computer screen and searched up how to clone. A few websites came up. He wasn’t expecting it to work, since he assumed that the ISP servers were down. That was great! He pulled up a website saying that he first needed an advanced gene separator and a cloning machine that could process the chip. He would then take a sample of his blood and give the genetic code to the machine, and a clone of him would grow in the capsule on the back of the device.

This was starting to seem impossible. But he had to do it!

***

6 weeks later

Zephyr had finally built the cloning machine. Metal combined wires and glass. Next-level genetic processors and the latest technology installed. It was a beautiful sight to see. Hard work and sleepless nights had gotten him what he needed. Hunger and fatigue had consumed him over the past few weeks. He had lost his strength. Mentally and physically. He had been thinking about where his family was and what they were doing.

Are they dead? Maybe after the repopulation of the world, I can go and find my family.

All he needed now was a sample of his blood, and his genetic code would create a clone. The blood was easy, but how would he get his genetic code? Back to the internet.

The internet was no longer available. The servers must have crashed. What now? He treaded over the dust covered concrete and went to the old cabinet to seek guidance. He got down to his knees and pulled out some books. He found one that said “GENETICS” on it and put the other books away. He moved his hand along the front of the book, both dusting the cover and feeling the cold, rough, red leather.

The book had said that the process of extracting somebody’s genetic code required two people. You had to take a cell sample from the blood sample and decode it. The danger in this was that because there was only one person, taking a cell sample could infect him with the virus going around. It would infect the open wound and go into his bloodstream. His anti-gene would fight it, but would it be strong enough? He would have less time to decode it and push the big red button on the machine to finish the cloning process. If he did this, there was a high chance that he would die without the clone. But the chance of dying with a clone gave him a sliver of hope.

He got to work. “Step One: Find a sterilized syringe,” he read out loud. That was easy. There were many of them in the cabinet in the infirmary. He took one out and went back to the device. “Step Two,” he continued, “Extract blood sample.” He had to do this quickly. After this, he did not know how much time until he turned into the other corpses. It was a risk he had to take.

He jabbed the syringe in his right shoulder and took some blood. The impact hurt him, but when he took it out, his arm immediately became half-limp. The plague was in the air, and it was infecting his wound and weakening him. His arm was becoming pale, and the black spots started becoming visible. He had to hurry. He skimmed the next few steps and rushed all of them.

Every minute that passed by, he got closer to death. The black spots started to take over his skin. He had gotten his genetic code in a test tube and dawdled with it over to the machine. He stopped for a second and looked outside. The buildings started jumping up and down. With each jump, a part of them fell off, showing off the metal rods and pipes holding it together. The ground started swaying left to right to left. The first building fell into the other, creating huge dust clouds. The sky turned a dangerous grey, and the sun parted from the sky. The building started shaking. Earthquake.

He had to hurry. His arms started to lose skin. Bones became more visible. Blood clouded the vision of one of his eyes. His mouth and throat became dry. His hands became sticks, and one of his knees buckled. He crashed face first in the ground. Scars covered his face. He crawled over to the machine. Another great shake. The machine fell over. The tremors became more common. The ceiling was falling apart. A huge piece of concrete crushed his leg. The blood warmed his body. He was stuck. Since his leg was already limp, he decided to cut off his leg. He grabbed the nearest sharp piece of metal. His bones gave a crack. He could feel each strand of muscle tissue disconnect from the other half.  The pain was unbearable. The pain lead to rage.

He would not go down without pressing the button. He crawled using his only available limb, his left arm. His head vibrated. Something was growing in there. Time was running out. He reached the machine. He opened the datapad and activated the gene reader. Another tremor, and he lost hold of the test tube. Time slowed down as the beaker made a leap out of his hand. The beaker broke, and the contents poured into the datapad.

“Yes,” he exclaimed with a smile on half his face.

The bleeding had worsened. His intestines had caught onto something and unwinded as he moved. He saw his liver fall out of his fleshless belly. His torso had multiple openings and bled violently. Blood came out of his chest. One of his eyes fell out, and he could not open his mouth without puking out liters of blood. His throat shrunk, making it hard to breath, choking him. Taking him closer to the Light. His face was losing skin by the layer, and his ears would not stop ringing. The rubble around him cut off his air supply. The toxic air had burned the exposed skin. This was pain. Living hell. Mental and physical torture.

The button was inches away from his hand.

“Start,” it flashed.

So close. The button was taunting him to press it. He did not have the reach. Another tremor. The rubble was caving in. He could feel the energy radiating off the button. He screamed as he gave it all to stretch. He pressed the button.

He had done it! Saved humanity. He could die knowing he did the right thing.

As he closed his eyes, the ringing went away, and he heard a robotic voice.

“ERROR, INSUFFICIENT AMOUNT OF ENERGY!!! CANNOT PROCESS DNA STRUCTURE”.

The rubble caved in, and he couldn’t feel the pain anymore.

 

 

Songs From a Caged Bird

December 4, 1941

I woke today to the sound of Takeo singing. Father believes that singing is a waste of time. Takeo is 14 years old and my eldest brother. Father believes that Takeo does not spend his time being productive; he should be doing “men’s work.”  Father tells me to do “women’s work”: “Emiko, clean the house, change Goro.” Father is a traditional man.

 

December 7, 1941 (Night after Pearl Harbor)

Even before I entered our house, I heard Father’s radio blaring through the thin, glass windows, muffling his loud, husky voice. I walked up the dirt path and entered the house as quietly as possible, turning the tarnished knob slowly, not letting a creak escape the door. I walked across our yellowing carpet and tiptoed up the wooden stairs into my bedroom. I quietly closed my door, placing my ear on it. All I could make out from the now muffled whispers in the kitchen was something about Aiko, my uncle. Mother was yelling, and Father was hushing her. I stepped away from the door and fell on my bed beside it. I covered my head with my pillow to muffle the noise. I could still hear the faint noise of my parent’s voices downstairs. What had happened? I stared at my molding ceiling above, trying to brush away the troubles surrounding me.

Before I knew it, I was lulled asleep by their hushed commotion. I awoke a few hours later to hear a sharp rapping on my door as dusk settled in outside my window. I rolled from my bed and opened my door to reveal Mother, her face red and eyes swollen. I was distraught with fear. I searched her blank eyes for any sign of comfort. She told me that Japan had attacked Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, where Aiko lives. Bombed the little island. I knew what she would say after that.

 

December 9, 1941

I’m in a forest, surrounded by beautiful nature. I am lying on a bed of baby blue flowers. The flowers are huge, and their large petals brush against my face with the soft, warm breeze. The grass around me is gentle, and the trees around me luscious, tall. Birds chirp and frogs croak. I hear the slow trickle of a stream in the distance. I feel as though I am in a fairy tale forest, beauty surrounding me and comforting me in every way. Dew trickles from one of the pink flowers above me into my mouth; it’s sweet like honey. I smile, pushing the events of the past few days outside of my head. I am surrounded by warm, golden rays of sunlight and beautiful nature. I inhale the sweet air engulfing me and let my eyes close. I take in the gentle scent of the forest around me. My eyes flutter open again, but the forest is swirling away from me, disappearing into oblivion. I scream, but no noise leaves my lips. The molding roof in my bedroom takes the place of the pink, plump petals that were once above me. A soft cry in the room beside me takes the place of the birds and frogs frolicking together. I close my eyes again and try to find the forest, but it has been lost forever.

 

December 14, 1941

It has been a whole week since Aiko passed. Though I haven’t seen him in months, my life feels smaller without him. Everyone at school is blaming me for the attack, even though my family died in it. I am so angry at them. If only they knew. They chase me after school and call me names. My friends ignore me. Father lost his job at the butcher today. My headmistress asked Mother to stop coming to school to teach.  

 

January 23, 1941

Yesterday, I was listening to the radio. The man who was speaking explained how he knew that all Japanese people were a threat to fellow Americans. I knew he was joking. I thought he was joking. Takeo wasn’t laughing.

 

February 5, 1941

Today was my birthday, Mother gave me a corn husk doll, Father gave me a sewing kit, and Takeo gave me his old, rusted recorder.  

 

February 19, 1942 (Ex. Or 9066)

Today, when I walked to school, I saw a sign on a billboard outside of the air raid shelter.

In short, the sign told me that I had to be deported with my family to an “internment camp.” What the heck? This must be a nightmare. What is happening? What had I done? Who made up this horrible prank? I walked into the schoolyard, and the taunting resumed. I need to wake up from this wretched dream. Today, the kids threw pebbles at me and the other Japanese kids in the school yard. The only person who still talks to me at school is a boy named Ren. Ren is Japanese; the other boys and girls taunt him too.

 

March 27, 1942

Ren and I walk home together everyday. He lives only a block away from me. We sometimes walk in silence, but we usually talk about our families. School is even more painful. I tell Ren about Goro, and he tells me about his pet guinea pig. Ren has problems at home. He sometimes comes to school and keeps a cap on his head all day.

 

July 22, 1942

Today, some men came to our house: a tall, skinny one and a red-faced, chubby one. They knocked on the door, and Father told me and Takeo to get upstairs. We both fled upstairs, side by side, into my bedroom. I could hear the men downstairs slamming on the door and yelling at us to open up. I heard the front door creak open. Takeo and I pressed our ears against my door to listen in on the conversation. The men wouldn’t stop yelling. I pressed my eyes shut and tried to find the forest again. Takeo and I waited for what seemed like hours until I couldn’t take it any longer. I left my room and peeked down from the top of the stairway. I saw the men tell Father that we were to leave our house in four days and report to the town square where we would receive further instruction.

Louie growled at the men and started barking. Louie wanted them to leave. The tall man kicked Louie across the room. A scream erupted from my throat as I saw Louie’s limp body hit the mantlepiece. I heard a little whimper escape his mouth. He’s alive at least. Father turned around to see my head leave the stairway opening. The men exchanged glances of irritation, but pure fear was in Father’s eyes. I closed my door, ashamed.

 

July 23, 1942

Today, we packed up all of our belongings. Mother and Father are desperately trying to keep our house from getting seized by the government. We fear that will happen as soon as we leave. I cry myself to sleep. We have to leave Louie behind. Father says that we should shoot him, that Louie will starve to death alone here when we leave.

 

July 24, 1942

I am afraid about my future; what will happen to me when I get to the camps? Will I go to school, get food? Will I live with Mother and Father and Takeo? What will happen to Louie? I hope that tomorrow I will wake up, and this will all have just been a nightmare.

 

July 25, 1942

This was not a nightmare. I am still here.

 

July 26, 1942

I woke up this morning in fear of what was to come next. I live now in fear of what is happening. The train is hotter than anything I’ve ever experienced. I am quite certain that I’m in a cattle car. I am still in the “train” right now, but I have no idea where I am. I’m fingering the harmonica that Takeo gave me as I write. The train is dirty and crowded, and I can’t see Mother anywhere. The only thing I have of my past life are the clothes on my back, the harmonica in my hand, and the pitiful suitcase beneath my feet. Louie is at home, all alone. I wouldn’t let Father deprive him of his only chance of survival.

 

July 27, 1942

Today is the first day of camp. The guards put tags on us, like we are luggage or something, before marching us to makeshift living quarters. I am housed in a tiny barrack with Mother and Father and four other people who I don’t know. There’s a girl my age and her old parents. I don’t want to use the bathrooms; the toilets are in a communal place, and I have to wait in line to use them. I can’t believe the guards expect us to shower and use the bathroom with no partitions. The bathrooms were definitely not designed to accommodate modesty.

 

July 29, 1942

There is no school open at the camp yet, and the food is wretched. All I’ve had is canned wieners, rice, and beans. I haven’t made any friends yet. The guards keep telling us that this is for our protection. But why are their guns pointed inward?

 

August 1, 1942

Today, when I came home from school, our barrack was a mess. It appeared that someone had come in here and stolen our things. I looked through all of my bags; the very little money I had was gone, so were my sewing kit and sewing scissors. Mother and Father said it must have been the guards. How could they do this? Shouldn’t they go to jail? Then, I remembered: I am a prisoner. No one cares about what happens to me. At least I still have my harmonica.

 

August 3, 1942

Today, they finished building the school. Mother is going to ask for a job teaching there. Goro has some sort of sickness; I try to help, but I don’t know what to do. There is only one doctor who we know of here. He used to work in an office not far from the butchery where Father worked. His name is Mr. Hachiro, and he lives in the barrack three down from us.

 

August 7, 1942

Every night I play music on the harmonica for Goro. It’s rusty, and not much sound comes out, but it’s better than nothing, and Goro seems to enjoy it.

 

August 13, 1942

I am so scared for Goro. He never sleeps, always cries, and his body is always shaking. Goro looks like he’s lost at least five pounds since we came here. His eyes are starting to stick out of his head. But through all of the pain, I have made a friend. Her name is Marilyn. She is housed in my barrack. We go to school together. She lets me look at her magazines, and I help her with homework. Mother has started teaching at my school. She gets paid 50 cents a day. I heard her tell Father that the white teachers make seven dollars a day.

 

August 21, 1942

Today, Mr. Hachiro came to our barrack. He tried to help Goro, but Goro is so thin and sick. Mr. Hachiro has almost no medicine because he isn’t supplied any. I am scared for Goro. I try to push death out of my head.

 

August 23, 1942

Mr. Hachiro came back to our barrack again today. He held a silver thing that he calls a “stethoscope” to Goro’s chest. He said that Goro’s pulse slowed since he came last. Goro isn’t pumping blood fast enough. Mr. Hachiro held Goro in his arms. He asked me if I wanted to feel Goro’s pulse. I reached down touched his chest and felt his tiny heart pumping through his thin rib cage and the little, red collared shirt that Mother had bought at the store with two day’s pay. Goro wrapped his tiny hands around two of my fingers. He gazed into my eyes and formed a weak, thin smile on his chapped lips. I cradled him in my arms and patted his duckfluff hair. His grip on my hand weakened. I stroked his chest again. Suddenly, the beating stopped.

 

August 29, 1942

Today was Goro’s funeral. We all cried throughout the whole time. We ordered a cross after he died, and Father scratched his name.

      Goro Amori  

       September 9, 1939 – August 23, 1942

      Loving son and brother

     Death by natural causes

     Rest in peace, you will find a better place

We buried him in the dingy camp graveyard. I stroked his little, red shirt as he disappeared into his coffin. Covered with dirt. I folded his clothing and placed it next to his grave, and I left him a card with only three words. Goodbye Goro. Sometimes, life hurts more than death.

 

September 21, 1942

I want to get out of here. The camp is so hot, and there are mosquitos everywhere. I can’t stand school. I barely learn anything with the overfilled classrooms. The food is wretched, and I think it’s all from cans. Mother cries every night for Goro. I want to cry, but I try to be brave. Father never smiles anymore. Takeo seems to have grown up into the “man” Father wanted him to be. He never sings anymore, and his eyes look emotionless. Something about him has changed. Our barrack feels so vacant without Goro. I could never sleep with his cries at night, but now I yearn for nothing more than to hear them. In my dreams, I live life before camp and see Goro smile as he wraps his chubby arms around me. I tried to play my harmonica again today. It’s the first time I picked it up without Goro as my audience. The recorder is so rusted, that all that escaped from the instrument was one, lone note.

 

September 29, 1942

Camp is becoming more bearable. I’ve made more friends at school, and I’ve started playing soccer with the other kids in the afternoons. But the guards frighten me. They look at us like animals, like the enemy.

I wonder if Louie is still alive. My eyes tear up as I think of him starving, whimpering. What if he’s dead? If I were him, I’d have no will to survive. I could never survive alone.

 

December 5, 1942

I awoke tonight to hear gunshots. When I peeked through the torn cloth covering the barrack window, I saw four soldiers holding guns and aiming them at a crowd. I heard screams ring out, and two men fell in front of my eyes. The shots continued to ring out. I saw three shirts soil with blood. I squinted my eyes shut; I couldn’t bear to watch. Finally, all the noise stopped. Guards shot in the air. At least ten men lay wounded. I didn’t know if they were injured or dead.

 

December 25, 1942

Christmas has come. The young children performed a show in the little theatre attached to my school. It was an adorable performance and reminded me of when I performed in the musical A White Christmas in the first grade. I couldn’t help imagining Goro on stage dancing with the other little kids. He would have had so much fun. We exchanged gifts in the mess hall today. Mother gave me a magazine she bought at the camp store. Father gave me a pocketknife. I was shocked. It was not a gift that I would ever expect from him. It wasn’t “ladylike.” Today, we received larger rations for the holiday. We went to pray in the little church, just a barrack with a cross. School was closed. But other than that, not much was different than a regular day.

 

February 5, 1943

My birthday has come. Neither Father nor Mother remembered. At least Takeo did, but he had nothing to give me.

 

April 12, 1943

I haven’t written in months. I feel no hope anymore that I will leave here. I have friends, a family, the bare necessities, but I want freedom.

 

April 26, 1943

The other children seem to enjoy camp much more than I do. They laugh and dance and run around. I try to smile. Mother says people will like me more if I do.

 

May 30, 1943

Before today, I never knew what job Father had at camp. He never talked about it. I overheard Father telling Mother that all he does is boil food in the back of the camp kitchen. He hates his job. So much for the “men’s work” he always wanted Takeo to do.

 

June 12, 1943

Today, I was listening to the radio in our barrack after dinner in the mess hall. Mother, Father, and Takeo were at the camp store buying soap. The man on the radio explained to listeners how Roosevelt’s decision to intern the Japanese allowed “loyal” Americans to be safe from Japanese criminals, and how we were “a threat to national security.”

My lips flared, and I slammed my fist on the table. Goro had died here as a three year old, and he was a “threat to national security”? I couldn’t listen to this! How could Mother let me listen to this! I ran to my bunk, grabbed the pocketknife from under my pillow, and smashed the radio into as many pieces as I could. The glass buttons broke and shattered. I let out a gratifying sigh of relief, my hand covered in my own blood and shattered glass.

 

June 13, 1943

What had I been thinking yesterday? As soon as Mother came home, she saw what I had done and slapped me across the face. Mother told me that I will come back to the barrack every day straight after school for one month. No soccer. No friends. Mother wants me to find a job at the camp to pay for the radio. She didn’t even notice the blood on the floor.

 

July 21,1943

I am in the forest again, surrounded by plump, pink petals, delicate wildlife, beautiful vegetation. The sweet air floods my nostrils again. I inhale and smile. I walk towards the trickling stream and wash my face with the sweet water. I look up at the blue sky; beautiful clouds peek out from the tall, lush vegetation. I walk across a pattern of stones in the river, the stones glistening with fresh water. Suddenly, my legs give way. I slip on the stones and into the river waterfall. I scream, louder than ever. But I am silent and alone. I grab onto a stone to not fall down the waterfall. The water surrounding me flushes red. I scream again. Silently. My pain is unheard. The sky clouds black, the birds around me vanish. The trees rustle slightly in the wind. My grip loosens, and I fall… grabbing at the thin, sweet air.

Suddenly, I wake up, surrounded by silent darkness and a pool of cold sweat.

 

September 1, 1943

I have been looking for almost three months for a way to pay for the radio. I can’t find a way, and I have broken our only connection to the outside world.

 

December 12, 1943

I am a prisoner in this camp. I’ve forgotten the taste of freedom.

 

February 3, 1944

Takeo has a job now. He’s been working for almost a month. He works as an assistant to Mr. Hachiro in the infirmary barrack. Takeo’s eyes have turned from emotionless to stone cold. He has seen too much pain. I heard from Marilyn that many men die every week in the infirmary. I can’t imagine my once singing, loving Takeo witnessing death.

 

April 1944

I received my first letter from outside of camp today. Someone had read it before I had. The letter was from Ren. I hadn’t thought about him since before I came to the camps, and a part of that made me feel guilty. He had always been there for me, and I had forgotten him in return.

 

November 1944

Memories of my old life before camps keep flooding back to me, as Ren writes me letters about how much fun we used to have. I was nine years old when I first came to camp, now I am almost twelve. Nearly three years have passed, but it feels like a lifetime. Memories before camp are becoming so distant, I can scarcely remember what our house looked like anymore. I have many friends now through soccer and school, but I miss the rest of my family. I think every day about what they might be doing. I have grown up more in these three years than all the other years in my life.

 

August 21, 1945

Ren sends me letters every time he can. I have replied whenever I get stamps, but it doesn’t seem like he’s getting all my letters.

August 11, 1945

Dear Emiko,

I am writing to you from the Minidoka Internment camp, in Idaho. Since I came to this camp years ago, I have been trying to contact you. I haven’t been able to find where you are interned because I don’t know anyone who lives in your camp. I have sent letters to you for months, but it seems you haven’t received any of them. How are you doing? How is the weather? We have a mosquito infestation and really hot weather. Because it’s a desert! A real desert! I’m not in the same barrack as my family, but I see them every day. My mom works at the beauty shop, and my dad works on the irrigation project with my older brother. I miss you so much, especially walking home from school with you.

I made honor roll this month at the school because I helped repair the schoolhouse and improved my grades. My older brother made the baseball team. I tried out, but I wasn’t good enough. But I’ll survive.

The stamp prices are wild at the camp store. I’m guessing they’re expensive for you too, so I enclosed a few stamps for you in here so you can send me a letter back (if you can.) You don’t even have to write me back, I just need a sign that you are getting my letters and being happy.

Yours forever,

Ren 🙂

How did Ren end up in Idaho? We went to the same school. If only he knew how I cry a little inside thinking of all the memories we had and thinking of what could have been if I hadn’t forgotten him.

 

November 20, 1945

I woke up in the morning with the usual dread that carries with me at camp, but today, a little glimmer of sunlight peeked through the curtain in my barrack window.

When I came home from school with Marilyn today, we sat in my barrack on my cot reading a comic book. The book she had chosen for us to read tonight was Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel can turn instantly from a child to an adult, and she can fly. Marilyn was talking to me, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was thinking about flying away from here. I was still thinking about flying away when I heard the doorknob turn, and Takeo entered from work. Something about his face looked less flushed, his expression more emotional than usual. His eyes had a warmth that I hadn’t seen in years.

He told me that we would leave the camps tomorrow, to pack our bags and get ready. One of the guards had made an announcement when Takeo walked to work. I yelled with joy; I had never felt so alive. I jumped up and hugged Marilyn and Takeo, and a smile broke out on Takeo’s face. His eyes sparkled; I hadn’t seen that in years. Finally, I’ll be free, happy again, I’ll see my friends, my family, Ren, Louie… ? If only Goro was here to see this, he would be six years old now. My eyes welled with bittersweet emotion. Mother cried with joy, and Father swept me up into his arms. After all we’d been through, freedom was finally here.

 

November 21, 1945

Today, we left on the train from camp. I didn’t even care that I was riding in a cattle car anymore. Joy bubbled inside me. I could taste sweet freedom again.

I sat next to Mr. Hachiro on the train ride back, the man who tried to save Goro. A child across from me was wailing. Tears of bittersweet emotion rolled down my round cheeks. I wish my baby brother was here to share this moment with me.

 

November 23, 1945

We arrived back at home today; our neighbors had offered to pick us up from the train station. The house was the same, muddy grey color as it had always been, but the paint was peeling and chipping. The windows were shattered. I held my breath as Father touched the door. It fell straight through the frame with just his light touch; the door was molding around the edges. I walked up the stairs holding Takeo’s hand. I was too scared to see what was to come. I sealed my eyes shut and walked up the stairs into my room. There wasn’t one item that hadn’t been swept from my room except for an old box of broken toys in my closet. I gasped. I was heartbroken and astonished. The memories of my old life had been stripped clean.

I burst into tears as I walked into Goro’s little bedroom. The walls that Father and I had spent a whole day painting baby blue were now a faded grey. The toy chest that was bright and well worn had vanished. A few toys remained in a small basket next to his empty, splintering crib, the only reminder of my loving little brother. I fell to my knees and put my face in my hands. I remember when I pulled Goro around the house in that basket. I would grab his chubby hands, he would laugh, and I would smile. I reached up to stroke his crib; I saw him flicker there for just a moment. I reached out to grab him, but he slipped through my hands, a mirage. I shut my eyes. His crib will remain empty forever.

 

November 26, 1945

We were so fortunate that our house didn’t become government property. Our neighbors somehow prevented it from happening. Our house is the only memory of what we have left. Everything is gone. Vanished. Whether Louie died, was saved, or ran away, it is up to imagination. I remember scampering around with Louie in the backyard, climbing up trees just to tease him. I close my eyes and still feel the sharp bark scraping my legs. In my mind, I hear Louie’s paws scratching on the carpet in the kitchen and his gentle whimper as he begs for scraps.  The house’s barren, skeletal walls remind me of what this vacant space used to be.

 

November 29, 1945

Our neighbors seem happy to have us back. But something about them looks so changed, so empty, the way that Takeo’s eyes used to look just a week ago.

 

December 17, 1945

Mother was able to get her job back teaching at my elementary school. We are so fortunate to have an income. We sleep in potato sacks on the floor of our rooms since the furniture was taken. The rest of our family hasn’t been so lucky. Most of them have been banished from any occupation.

 

January 1, 1946

I was cooking with Mother in the kitchen today. The last time I cooked here was five years ago. So much has changed, even in a room as simple as our kitchen. Before the war, I would watch Mother make soba with vegetables and beef galore, I would play with Louie and Goro on the floor, and we would beg Mother for extra scraps of food. A tear rolled down my cheek into the limp carrots boiling in the dented stove pot. I could hear the single drop of water fall in the large bowl. Silence is not always a virtue.

 

January 7, 1946

Takeo and Father are desperate to find work somewhere, anywhere.

 

February 21, 1946

Today was a day of celebration in our household, one of the happiest days since we arrived back home. Both Father and Takeo got jobs at the Post Office today. I pray that soon we will have furniture again.

The kids in our neighborhood who aren’t Japanese are so lucky. They never went to camps; they have completely normal lives. While we were suffering, they were living lives of luxury and joy. They had plenty of food every day, while we lived on boiled wieners and burnt bread. The war barely affected them as far as I’m concerned. I come home to a potato sack, while they come home to warm beds.

 

February 24, 1946

Today, as I prepared for school, I saw a boy who looked so familiar leaning against the school house. Ren? We ran towards each other, like a Hollywood film cliché. We held in a long embrace. It was nice to put a face to the letters I had been receiving for the past two years. He walked me home that day. The security of seeing my only friend before the war was more than I could ever ask for.

 

February 28, 1946

I sat on my floor doing my daily homework assignments, staring at the deep darkness of the night sky from my small window. A sliver of moonlight peeked in through the uncovered glass.

I heard beautiful music from the other side of my bedroom’s thin wall. Mother must have turned the record player on. As I strained my ears further, I recognized the music as Takeo’s voice. Tears of joy sprung from my eyes. It must have been five years since I heard him sing. The memories of Father’s gruff voice telling him off and Goro’s chubby hands clapping for him flooded my memory. A smile broke on my face. Hope had returned to my household. Comforting joy and warmth enveloped me, and I let the soft music lull me to sleep.   

 

Isolated From Home

Adam stared intently at the engine, trying to find out what was wrong with it. He glanced around the engine room. Machinery and wires stuck out from the cramped walls of the room. He sighed in defeat, realizing that he couldn’t fix it. He heard the sound of something hitting the ship, rushed out of the engine room to a window near the control panel, and saw a planet growing larger. He fiddled with the controls, trying to turn the spaceship around, but nothing happened. The planet continued drawing nearer. The spaceship started speeding up as it entered the planet’s atmosphere.

He was supposed to be analyzing soil samples from other planets, seeing if they were capable of growing plants, but now he could see death drawing closer with every inch the spaceship traveled. Adam felt his heart beat faster and he thought, I wish I could go home and be with my wife and kids.  

He looked out the window and saw the planet looming over him. It was large and grey with no signs of life. The planet’s gravity pushed the spaceship downwards and the force of the impact propelled Adam backwards into a wall and he passed out.

He woke up to a crackling sound. He sat up groggily and looked around for the source of the noise. The face of someone appeared on his radio.  He was wearing a dirty spacesuit without the helmet. He had messy brown hair and had brown eyes staring intently at Adam.

“Hello?” Adam said. “Who are you?”

The person said, “I’m Kevin, my ship crashed on this planet days ago. Who are you?”

“I’m Adam, my ship also crashed here,” Adam replied.

“Where are you?” Kevin asked.

“I have no idea,” Adam responded.

“Do you have any food?”

“I should have some food in the kitchen.”

“That’s good, carry some food and try to reach the mountain,” Kevin instructed.

“How will I know if I’m at the right mountain?” Adam asked.

“It’s surrounded by craters and has a crashed ship next to it. You’ll know what mountain I’m talking about once you see it.”

“Also this planet has breathable air, good luck,” Kevin said sarcastically.

Adam headed towards the kitchen. While walking, he thought, Can I really trust Kevin? He might be tricking me. But Adam didn’t let these thoughts bother him. He opened the fridge and stuffed most of the food in his bag. He slung the bag over his shoulder and walked out of the ship. He scanned the vast empty land and saw a mountain in the distance. He started walking towards it.

“I’m currently walking towards a mountain,” Adam informed him.

“That’s good, continue walking,” Kevin said.

Adam continued towards the mountain looming over him and examined his surroundings. He saw many craters in the distance and a vast grey desert and prepared himself for a long walk.

* * *

Kevin bent over to place the landmines around the mountain. He carefully armed them and covered them with small sheets the color of the planet. He smiled slyly once he finished. He walked into a tunnel he carved into the mountain leading into his lair. He sat down in his chair and glanced at his different monitors. On one was a map of the planet and another showed a desktop with lots of folders containing his plans. Another showed a proximity alarm. He looked at his map and pinpointed Adam’s location using his radio signal.  He smiled, knowing that Adam would fall right into his trap.

* * *

Adam stopped at the edge of a crashed ship. He reached for his radio and said, “Kevin? I found another crashed ship.”

“You did?” Kevin replied, pretending to be surprised.

“Yeah, should I explore it?” Adam asked.

“I think you should, it might have more provisions for us,” Kevin answered.

Adam turned off his radio and entered the ship. He walked down the corridor until meeting a door. Adam tried opening it, but it seemed stuck. Adam ignored it and walked down a different hallway. Adam soon entered the kitchen and checked the fridges and any other food containers. All the food was spoiled or rotten.

The kitchen was connected to the sleeping quarters. Multiple backpacks littered the floor. Adam picked each one up and checked for things he could use. He found multiple glowsticks and a flashlight. Adam stored them in his bag and kept poking around in the room. In the corner of the room was a small portable generator.

He picked it up and asked Kevin, “I found a portable generator, should I keep it?”

“I think you should, it might be useful later on,” Kevin replied.

Adam picked up a backpack on the floor and stuffed the generator inside. He slung the backpack strap over his shoulder and walked down another corridor.

* * *

Kevin sat impatiently in his seat, anxiously waiting for Adam to arrive. He got up and paced around the room. He picked up his radio and spoke into it. “Adam? Are you ready to keep traveling?”

“Not yet,” Adam replied. “Still have a few more rooms to check out.”

“That’s good, but you need to get here quickly.”

Adam questioned that, “But why do I need to get there quic — ?

Kevin turned off his radio and sighed. If only I weren’t stuck on this wretched planet… and it’s all NASA’s fault, sending me to here, Keven thought. Kevin loathed NASA. They sent him to that planet and didn’t care about what happened to him.

* * *

Why would he want me to arrive at the mountain so quickly? Adam thought. A flicker of doubt crossed his face. He walked out of the ship and glanced around ahead of him. A giant crater stood in front of him blocking the way to the mountain. Should I walk around or across it? Adam pondered. He decided to walk across to save more time. He slowly slid down the walls of the crater. When he reached the bottom, he stared ahead of him looking at how much distance he had to cover. He turned on his radio and tried to call Kevin. He didn’t respond. Adam tried again and this time Kevin responded.

“What do you want?”  Kevin asked.

“I just want to talk,” Adam answered while still walking to the other side of the crater.

“Sure what do you want to talk about?” Kevin asked.

“Why did you want me to arrive at the mountain so quickly?” Adam pressed.

“I…uh…wanted you to arrive as quickly as possible, so we can…escape from this planet together,” Kevin lied.

Adam detected Kevin’s lie, but decided not to question Kevin. “Okay, I’m almost there I just need to cross this crater.”

“That’s good, keep walking,” Kevin said.

Adam turned off his radio and thought, What is Kevin up to? Maybe it’s just a trap to use my resources. Adam shook his head in disbelief. Adam looked up not realizing he was at the edge of the crater. He grabbed the rim and hauled himself over the top. He stared at the mountain looming over him, casting a shadow over him. Adam took a step forward and tripped on a rock. He picked up the rock and threw it forward. It landed on a bumpy spot on the land and Adam heard beeping. Instinctively, he dove into the crater. Soon after the beeping was the sound of a deafening explosion.

* * *

Kevin heard the explosion and rushed out of the tunnel. He ran toward the sound and was blinded by a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, he looked around. Seeing no trace of Adam, he grinned. Satisfied, he strutted back into the mountain without bothering to look for a body. He walked into a room and picked up a chisel. He carved a mark among the 13 other marks.

“14 times astronauts have landed on this barren planet and 14 times I have outsmarted them and tricked them,” Kevin muttered to himself, “Soon, NASA will see how brilliant I am and will beg for mercy.” Kevin nodded in agreement to his own plan and walked into his planning room. He readied his laser preparing to shoot down another ship scheduled to pass by.

* * *

Adam crouched below the rim of the crater. He peeked above it and saw that nobody was there. He took off his backpack and lay it on the ground. He circled the perimeter of the mountain until finding the entrance. It was a simple metal door with no locks. He peeked over the corner of the door and entered slowly. He crept into an empty room with a chisel on the floor and marks carved into the wall. The emptiness of the room made a chill run down Adam’s back. He peered over the corner to see Kevin ranting to himself.

“Then I will go back to Earth and blow up NASA,” Kevin ranted. “After that, I will blow up all other astronaut programs!”

Adam gasped silently in astonishment, and continued to explore the mountain. He came to a room with a giant laser. The room had a retractable roof and was basically empty. He gazed at the circuitry protruding from the machine. He looked at a control panel and pressed the off button. All lights on the machine blinked off. Adam sighed in relief and heard footsteps coming in his direction. He looked around and saw no hiding place so he ran outside and hoped for the best. Behind him Kevin chased him with rage. He ran after Adam while screaming a string of insults.

“I’LL GET YOU IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!!” Kevin yelled.

Adam ignored these insults and noticed that Kevin hadn’t bothered to fix his laser. He hoped he could survive long enough to escape. Adam ran back inside the mountain and hid behind a large shelf. He held his breath as Kevin walked by seething with rage.

Adam then heard a loud noise that sounded like something large was landing. He heard the sounds of Kevin heading towards the exit. Adam stepped out of his hiding place and went to see what was happening. Adam slowly crept towards the entrance, hearing gunshots. He ran outside and saw Kevin shooting another ship that had just landed.

Adam snuck up behind Kevin and tackled him. Adam kicked the gun away from Kevin’s reach. Kevin lunged for the gun, picked it up and shot Adam. Before Adam could react the bullet pierced his flesh. My life is at stake, I’m fighting a maniac on a distant planet…What do I have to lose? Adam thought as he felt a throbbing pain in his shoulder.

He pushed away the pain and hurled himself at Kevin. Kevin dropped his weapon and fell to the ground. Adam picked up the gun and pitched the gun onto a landmine. The landmine exploded and created another large crater. Adam stumbled. He realized he had been running on adrenaline the whole time. Kevin stood nearby with a murderous look in his eye. Adam slowly walked toward Kevin while gripping his injured shoulder.

The hatch on the landed ship opened and a group of people stepped out. One of them handed Adam a bandage which he wrapped his shoulder with.

“Kevin, we need to talk,” Adam said.

“Why would I listen to you?” Kevin responded.

“Why are you doing this?” Adam asked.

“Because… ” Kevin sighed, “NASA left me here. When I crashed they never responded for a whole year, they abandoned me on this planet. When a rescue team came finally I shot them down with my laser that I created out of parts from my ship.”

The group of astronauts tapped Adam on the shoulder and said, “We’re your rescue team. When we heard that you crashed, we came here as soon as we could. We’re here to take you back to Earth.”

Adam said to the group of astronauts, “We need to secure him, he’s dangerous.” Adam, and the other astronauts, surrounded Kevin while he kicked and punched him. Eventually they held him down and bound his limbs.

Kevin sneered at the group, “What are you going to with me?”

Adam replied, “We’re taking you to where you belong. Prison.” Adam and the other astronauts, dragged Kevin, as he thrashed around in his bindings, onto the spaceship, where he was locked in a room. Kevin pounded on the door, “LET ME GO! I DEMAND IT!” Everyone ignored him and went to their stations while the captain stayed with Adam.

“What are we going to do with him?” the captain asked.

“I think we should confront him to gain more information,” Adam replied. The captain nodded and they unlocked the door. They opened it and Kevin turned towards them.

“Have you finally come to let me free?” Kevin asked with a murderous tone in his voice.

“We’re here to ask you some questions,” Adam replied. “Why did you shoot the first rescue ship after it came to get you?”

“It’s because NASA left me on that planet for a whole entire year. Leaving me to live off the little provisions I had with me,” Kevin answered, “But I managed to survive. NASA had lots of budget cuts and decided it would cost too much to organize a rescue mission, so they left me there to die.”

“That isn’t true,” the captain said, “NASA was trying to locate where you crashed, so they could send a rescue team.”

“Really? Is that true?” Kevin said softly.

“It’s true,” the captain replied. Then Adam and the captain left the room.

* * *

As the door slowly closed, Kevin felt a sense of dread cross his face. How could I have done this? Make false assumptions and kill 13 people because of it. If only I could turn back time. Kevin planted his face into his palms and felt tears flow down his cheek.

* * *

The captain asked Adam questions about his adventure then let Adam rest. After two weeks, they finally arrived back on Earth. Adam dragged Kevin out of the ship and gave him to the authorities. Then Adam and the rescue team was called to the head of NASA’s office. It was a big room with a wall covered in awards and medals. On another wall sat a big bookshelf filled with binders, folders, and books. At the middle of the room sat a desk with the head sitting there.

“Thanks to your bravery, you managed to rescue Adam,” the head said to the rescue team.

He turned to Adam. “Thanks to you, our astronauts will be able to travel safely across space.”

Adam received praise from the rescue team and he smiled in accomplishment and then went to visit Kevin.  Kevin was locked up in a tiny grey holding cell. There were no windows and a single light bulb hung on a wire on the ceiling. There was a stone slab with a pillow and mattress in the corner of the cell.  

Kevin was shaking the bars of his holding cell. As soon as he saw Adam he stopped. “Have you come to gloat, Adam?”

“I’m just here to check on you,” Adam replied calmly.

“Oh, you know, I’m in prison ready to be executed, so I’m totally fine,” Kevin said sarcastically.

“Executed?” Adam questioned.

“I killed 13 astronauts, so yeah…” Kevin said.

“I’m sorry Kevin, it didn’t have to end this way,” Adam said.

Adam started to walk towards the door, but Kevin shouted to Adam, “Wait!” Adam turned to look towards Kevin. “I just want to say that I’m sorry too. My anger got the best of me.”

Adam walked to the doorway then stopped. He turned towards Kevin, gave him a sad smile and nodded in understanding.

* * *

Kevin watched Adam slowly close the door.  Light from the outside slowly faded away until all the remaining light there was, came from the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Kevin collapsed on the ground. “I’m sorry Adam, I’m sorry NASA, I’m sorry everyone I killed…” Kevin whispered to himself. Then he closed his eyes and started to cry.

Felix

I used to have a life, I promise. But since last winter it’s just turned into giant loads of crap. The detectives and police who still come by to our house to give us false hope, the hundreds of empty, meaningless Facebook posts about how Graham was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. Ugh, it makes me want to barf. The worst part is Mom and Dad. After Graham disappeared, it was like they transformed into grey, half-versions of themselves. Like the ghosts of who they used to be, floating from room to room stuffed with memories of their son. I can’t blame them though, I guess I’ve become a ghost too.

Me and Graham weren’t ever like normal brothers. He was my friend. My best friend right before Donald and Mindy. I remember so many little things I had always taken for granted. His smile, too wide and too friendly. His jokes and his lumpy pancakes that he would fry and stack with cascading butter, golden and warm, fresh, tart jam melting into rich syrup. His stupid obsession with the cat videos on the internet and his bubbling enthusiasm that could drown you if you weren’t careful. All of it is gone.

And I keep clinging. Clinging clinging clinging. To the fact that they haven’t found a body. To Graham’s messy, empty room. To Donald and Mindy – excuse me, Elle – even though ever since that night we’ve been drifting farther and farther away. To the past. My walls have transformed into maps, newspaper clippings, photos. Because Graham’s gone – with all the hope we had that we would find him. But I can’t give up. Not for some BS noble reason, just because I have to find him. He’s my baby brother. I – I can’t give up.

These words, these thoughts, flow and fly through my frazzled mind. I’ve stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped caring about anything else.  My shirts hang loosely around my frame and my eyes are perpetually lined with black and purple rings. My grades plummeted. I’ll probably fail my sophomore year. The only thing I haven’t given up on is the basketball team, and only because Coach Bennett refused to let me “choke on my sappy stupidity.” It was his way of trying to do what everyone else was trying to do – put my pieces back together. I can still win games with ease, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. My heart isn’t in anything anymore. And it’s all because of that night.

He shouldn’t have been there – he was only in eighth grade. But he’s always been tall and who knows who would’ve mistaken him for another freshman, I should have realized that. Idiot, idiot, idiot. It was just supposed to be me, Donald, and Mindy. It was our first party, our first real party. It had all the stereotypes: drunk kids making out in the coat closet, the smell of chips and cigarette smoke wafting into the air, and the bits of weed sophomores bullied us into trying. Man, I got wasted, so wasted – I had never smoked anything before – and everything just blurred together. Mindy, in her grey cardigan looking out of place and alone. Candy Evans kissing Donald while the guys wolf-whistled, and the girls whispered in amusement. And Donald, who disappeared shortly after with a plastered smile and something strange brewing in his eyes.

God, it hurts to remember.

I didn’t even know Graham was there until Mindy ran up to me and told me.

“Felix, what the hell? Did you know Graham’s here?”

I should have taken him home then, I should’ve, I should’ve. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to drag his sorry butt back to Mom and Dad and land myself in trouble. So, I told him he could stay as long as he didn’t drink anything and wouldn’t let a peep slip out about that night. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It went on for what seemed like forever. Drinking, dancing, and laughing — until I woke up the next morning on a stranger’s tan, smoky couch. And Graham was gone. I scoured the whole house looking for him, the backyard, the attic, everything. My emotions ran from confused, to annoyed, to worried, to panicked, to… gone. That’s when I spilled to my parents, who called the cops, and plastered posters with Graham’s face on the sides of milk cartons and on the faded bulletin board in the community center. A year later, and those posters have browned. Their corners curl up in tired wrinkles — like they know we should be giving up.

I can barely look Mom and Dad in the eye anymore. They never blamed me, or stopped caring about me; but I think they know, deep down, that it was my fault. If it weren’t for me, Graham would still be humming some light-hearted tune in the room two doors down. And I wake up choking on my hot, bubbling shame. It’s always there to rip me out of any peaceful dreams. It’s the cocktail of my life. And I down it everyday.

Donald and Mindy stopped hanging out with me. We weren’t bound together anymore. They found new friends, and I found solace in the soft, navy sheets from Graham’s bedroom, that still felt like him.  

Graham. I miss him. I miss him, I miss him. I miss him so damn much.

Because, honestly, life without him isn’t worth a cent.

 

Cross-Country Menace

One Week Before Tryouts

Jessica and I were talking and laughing on our way home from school when I decided to tell her my news.

“Hey, have you heard about the cross-country team tryouts? This is my only chance to prove to Coach that I’m capable of running. Every time I try out for cross country, I always end up in the Junior team, which really sucks. But not this time. I’m going to show him that I care and very determined to be on the Senior team. That means I gotta start training!”

Jessica instantly replied, “Good luck with that, I’m gonna be at the finish line cheering you on.”

We had a moment of silence, until Jessica said, “I can’t wait till next week!”  

And I knew why. The world’s soccer playoffs were next week, and Jessica was CRAZY about soccer. But that was the least of my worries. I was very nervous for the cross country tryouts, and I meant what I said, I really had to start training.

That was what I had been waiting for, for the last three years. I was determined to fulfill my dream and my mom’s, who had sadly passed away last year when I was only 11 years old. She was a champion runner. One day, possibly next week, I’ll be the champion runner on this team, and carry her legacy. I hope all of my training helps me win my way up to success.

I was always an under-confident girl, but there’s this one quote which my mom used to say, which always helped me, “No pain, no gain.” Every single day when we gathered around the dining table before we ate dinner, we had a tradition where we prayed before we ate. And everyone around the table picked whatever they wanted to say, mostly famous quotes that help your way up to success. Now, with only my dad and brothers, we just silently eat at the table and we don’t pray. Without Mom, my whole family just seems like complete strangers to me.

 

The Day It all Depends On

 

I knew this day would come eventually, and I was prepared. I was walking out my driveway, waiting for the school bus to come. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Jessica. She was in her front yard, probably also waiting for the bus. She was dribbling a soccer ball and doing all funky and really cool moves. She mastered a move called the “Ronaldo Chops,” invented by Ronaldo the Great, a.k.a Cristiano Ronaldo. I ran over to her.

“Hey Jess, are you ready to cheer me on today? I’ve been waiting for this day for nearly a month now,” I asked.

Her expression changed from really excited to not so excited. “Yeah, I can’t wait!” she sarcastically exclaimed. I knew something was up with her, but I wasn’t going to let that bother me, at least not for now.

In every class I seemed to pay less attention. I was really nervous, but also very excited. I was confident I would make the Senior team. Every day I jogged for at least half an hour or more with my dog. I also took dance, which helps on flexibility. If you have flexibility, you tend to run faster and you don’t get sore muscles easily. At the last period, the bell rang so loud, I was literally knocked off my chair. It was time.

Half an hour later, we were all were spread out across the starting line. I took a quick glimpse around to see who I was racing against, and I saw a familiar face.

It was Jessica!

I couldn’t believe my eyes! I knew something was up with Jessica, but I didn’t know it was trying out for the cross country team! She looked down at the ground as if she were trying to avoid me.

There wasn’t enough time for me to go to her and ask her what she was doing here. But now it looked pretty clear to me. The coach had blown the whistle to gather our attention. It was time for the real deal. I clenched my fists.

“Alright runners, today you will be running two miles. This is going to be timed, and your time determines if you are going to get on the team or not. At the count of three, you guys start running. Get ready! One… two… THREE!” yelled the coach.

I ran fast as soon as I heard his loud voice on three. I didn’t bother running to Jessica, because I knew that if I talked, I would’ve grown tired. I was running, keeping a pretty fast pace. Along the way, I saw people kicking a ball, which had to be soccer tryouts.

Then I began to think, Jessica knew all this time that she was trying out for cross country, then why didn’t she tell me? After I saw the one-mile sign covered with many bushes and plants in the forest trail, I looked back to see who was catching up to me which I know you should never do when you are racing.

I wasn’t looking ahead, and my leg got stuck in a bush. I tried to to jiggle it out, but instead a thorn pushed against my skin, and my leg started bleeding. I kneeled down, trying to pull out the thorn from my leg. I watched as people ran by including Jessica, leaving me behind in the dust. She gave me a nasty look. I didn’t bother, I had a much bigger problem to deal with. I took a leaf and some sap off a tree, and tried to pull the thorn out, and it worked! I figured that the sap would have a good grip on the thorn, since it’s sticky. Who knew that paying attention in my biology class actually helped in real life. Thank you so much, Mrs. Barnett, our biology teacher, I thought to myself.

I stood up, and this time I was fully determined to win and continue my mom’s legacy. This meant everything to me. Nothing mattered more to me now. Just winning. This is the moment where I show myself what I was cut out for. Being a true winner and fulfilling my mom’s dream, or betray my trust and my mom’s trust. This all added up to everything. All that training and time that I spent on cross-country. I started crying inside my head, this was the hardest part of becoming a champion, showing that you were a champion, and it was totally worth it.

You can do this Amber, you can do this, I kept repeating in my head. I whizzed past many people, including Jessica. She didn’t expect me to pass her, kind of like the story of the tortoise and the hare. I came across the 1.75 mile sign. 0.25 more miles left, I thought, and the torture would soon be over. My legs were getting tired and I started breathing heavily, but continued to run. I could see the finish line from here. I felt a wind pass by, and realized it was Jessica. Typical Jessica, trying to beat me and come first in the race, but I caught up to her. Then, I realized that Jessica and I were the only two who were in front of all the runners.

Great, I have to be competing against my best friend. Thank you so much, God, I thought. We were side by side, neither of us seemed to be getting ahead of each other and we stayed exactly at the same pace. I could hear Jessica’s loud, and hard breaths. Suddenly, I felt a grip on my back, lost my balance, and fell on the ground. Luckily, there was just dry mud which looked a lot like sand. I saw Jessica smirking and eying me. Right there, I realized that she pushed me, so she can beat me and come first. Then, and right there, I saw my destiny, for now.

My mind couldn’t think anymore. All I was focused on was reaching the finish line. I got up and sped across the finish line, passing Jessica. At that same moment I thought that this was the best moment of my life. I would never get that moment back, but I would always remember it.

I sprinted as fast as I could to the finish line and heard the coach say, “Whoa, Amber, you really did it this time. I’m really impressed with you for coming in first place this year. You really worked hard to get on top, and I have a feeling you’re going to be my best runner. Keep up the  great work.”

Jessica passed the finish line, and glared at me. I saw her grab her water bottle. She took a few sips and came to me. There was a sad and guilty look on her face. I stood there, frozen in happiness but puzzled at the same time.

“I’m really sorry about everything. I’ve been a really bad friend lately. I’ve been meaning to tell you this and it was really hard to try to hide it from you. I’ve been training to get in the cross-country team for a long time now, and finally prove to my mom that I’m capable of being responsible and dedicated. My mom always looks up to you and she really likes you, which I totally understand. It’s just that my mom thinks that I’m not capable of handling anything and she thinks I never devote myself to do anything. But I didn’t want to tell you because I know that this is really important to you and you’re doing this to make your family proud, especially your mom.”  Her eyes looked like they were made of glass. “And now, I’m positively sure that once they found out you came in first, they will definitely be proud. So, I’m really sorry. I was being a really unsupportive, terrible friend, and I hope you could forgive me.”

There were a million questions I had to ask: “First of all, why didn’t you try out for the soccer tryouts, when you told me you were going to? You have a real talent in soccer. You know that, don’t you?”

Jessica blushed a bit. “You might think that, but it’s the total opposite. Plus I never really had a passion for soccer. I hated it last year, and the kids used to tease me and make fun of my fails at attempting the moves and skills. I wanted to try to do something new, but I never meant for us both to compete.”

I stared at the ground for a few minutes. I was so still it looked like I was a statue. I had to think this through carefully, because I knew this was an important life decision that could affect me in my future.

“I know the pressure sometimes that parents put on you and even me, and I know you weren’t truly trying to hurt me. I know that in life you will never have the perfect friend but you having a really different personality makes you my friend. So I forgive you, and I really think you deserve to have a second chance. Honestly, everyone makes mistakes. Remember the time when I accidentally set your hair on fire?”

There was a moment of laughter, when I heard the voices of my brothers, my dad, and my dog barking. My dad looked happy for the first time since my mom died.

“You made all of us proud, Amber, even your mom. She would’ve been really happy to see you standing proud,” dad said happily. My dog barked as if agreeing to my dad’s statement. I was filled with joy. Jessica nodded in agreement.

My younger brother said, “How about we go to our favorite ice cream place, we haven’t been there since mom…. “ his voice trailed off. Everyone had a sad look on their face. But I wanted to end this once and for all.

“All we’ve been doing since mom died is just crying and weeping, but it’s time for us to change that. I say we to go to the ice cream place and celebrate. I’ll pay for all of you guys.”

“No Amber, this one’s on me. I think we both know that I owe you BIG time,” Jessica uttered. We both looked at each other with deep meaning.

“No,” my dad suddenly said, surprising us. “It’s on me. You deserve it.” He gave me a meaningful look, and I knew that he was talking about more than ice cream.

“We all do,” I said.

This was just one of my many problems I will face in my life, but my mom’s quote will always stay with me and encourage me to stay confident and believe in myself in whatever I do: “Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it’s only when you accept everything you are, then you will truly succeed.”  

I took Jessica’s arm as we were leaving the school. The sun was setting, the trees were swaying, and I realized we were the last ones there.

“Come on,” I said to everybody, “let’s go.”

 

THE END.                                       

Cracks

It starts small

a thin line

maybe

maybe

maybe it wouldn’t count but

it gets big enough to count

for seven whole years

of bad luck

i wish i couldn’t see it

i wish i could forget about it

maybe if i focus on the

very top of the line

maybe then i won’t notice

the sun-shaped spiral

the spiral that’s

symmetric but lopsided

the spiral that makes me want

to crack my mirror on the wall

on its right side too

so that its even

but no one’s ever said anything

about cracking a mirror twice

maybe the bad luck would

cancel out but maybe

it would double and

i can’t risk it

my mirror on the wall would be beautiful

if it wasn’t recently repainted

in cracks liked it when my mirror on the wall

was untouched and smooth and even

my mirror on the wall

was flawless and i didn’t have to worry about it

but then it fell and

my mirror on the wall became

as shattered as me and

maybe my mirror on the wall is beautiful

after all, beauty and horror go hand in hand

opposites attract

that’s what they say

but they also say i’m crazy

why else would i

refuse to walk under a ladder?

i don’t know-safety, maybe?

i’m not scared for my safety

i just

can’t risk it

they say my throwing salt

is making the floor dirty

not blinding the devil

but i throw it anyway because

i can’t risk it

they call me superstitious

they use the word

in the same way New Yorkers say schizophrenia

then they turn around

and search for a four-leaf clover

they call me crazy

bend down

and pick up that lucky penny

they laugh in my face

then knock on wood

as they said something was going well

i guess they can’t risk it

i don’t call them hypocrites

that’s bad karma and

i can’t risk it

my mother took me

too see a doctor

he said that i might have OCD

and recommended Fluvoxamine

i wanted to recommend that he jump off a cliff

but that’s bad karma

and i can’t risk it

besides i’m not really sure

how to take medicine

in a safe way so

i can’t risk it because

the crack in my mirror on the wall

matches the crack in me

it starts small

but it ends big

 

The Sea World Debate

“Pencils down, hand in your tests on my desk,” Ms. Arnold announced.

School was finally over! I felt like yelping with joy! Everything was perfect at that very moment. Though Ms. Arnold’s biology tests were hard, I made sure to impress her. I stayed up late at night, studying hard, and it always paid off. Every time I answered a question, I felt so relieved that I had studied the night before. I felt so devoted to biology, and nature. I don’t want to be self-centered, but I aced all of her tests. I was determined to do well on that important biology final.

After I handed in my test, I dashed into the hallway, sneakers squeaking on the polished tile floor. I swung my unzipped backpack onto my shoulders and rushed up to join my friends.

“Where have you been, Alicia?” my best friend Maria asked me.

“I was saying goodbye to Ms. Arnold,” I said as I grinned.

“Oh, come on, no need to get overexcited.”

Maria is a model student; and even though we are just leaving sixth grade, she’s probably smarter than some of the soon to be eighth graders.  And everyone knows that she is as modest as it is possible to be. I personally think it is absurd how every piece of work she does is perfect.

As I marched out of the doors of our school, I instantly joined the mob of girls swarming just outside the school building.

“That test was actually not that bad,” Emma shrieked, trying to overcome all of the booming noise.

Maybe I wasn’t the only one who loves biology. I silently agreed with Emma.

I scanned the crowd to find Maria. I saw her talking to Jenna. I grabbed her away.

“Let’s go.”

“Where to?” Maria said, looking puzzled.

“Well, Mom told me I had to be home by 4:00.”

“Uh, sure. My dad probably wants to talk about the big test.”

“Okay, great. Awww,” I crooned “Look to your left. There’s a nest of little baby birds! How ADORABLE! I simply looove animals. Especially the little innocent babies!”

We cut through the crowd, dashed down the sidewalk, and ducked into the subway. We swiped our cards, and ran up the steps. Suddenly, a huge wave of tourists, New Yorkers, and other people flooded the stairway.

“Urg, we missed the train!” Maria swore under her breath.

“Well, I guess I better go,” I said. I didn’t want Mom to worry.

And then, we went our separate ways.

When I finally got home, I burst through the door, happy as a lark. Apparently, Mom caught on immediately.

“How was your last day of school, Pumpkin?” she said smothering me in fat, wet kisses.

“Great!”

“I can’t believe you are a seventh grader now!” Mom exclaimed.

“Hey, how was your biology final?”

“Awwwesooome!”

“Woo hoo! Great job! I have a special surprise for you!”

Usually Mom’s surprises were actually good surprises, like that time when we found out we were moving to the city. And because of this, I started bouncing up and down on the edge of my seat.

“Tomorrow, we leave for San Diego, California, where you are going to see your cousins that you have never met before. They live in Seattle, Washington. It is a really long flight, and we’re staying there for five weeks, so I suggest you start packing now.” She motioned to the doorway. I made my way to my room.

I pulled out my favorite purple duffle bag, and stacked some clothes on my bed. I pulled out a pair of pajamas. A hair brush, some shampoo, body lotion. More toiletries. Blankets. My diary, sketchbook, some pens and pencils and my summer homework. In due course, I was done. I zipped up my stuffed duffel bag, and heaved it out of my room and through my door.

“I’m ready!” I called out.

“Great. Just in time for dinner,” Mom added. Then, Mom started talking a mile a minute. “Okay, so, we have rented a house. It is three floors high. You are sharing the attic bedroom with Sophie and Alex, your cousins. Sophie is 11, and Alex is 13. Your brother Jordan has the little alcove in the hallway, so please, please don’t make fun of him. We have to leave for the airport at 3:oo AM sharp.”

Whoa. that was early. I gobbled down my mashed potatoes and avocado salad and rushed into bed.

“G’night,” I called out to her. I climbed into my bed, and pulled the covers over me. The next thing I knew, Jordan was shaking me awake.

“Time to wake up!” He sneered.

“Wazthisallabout” I muttered.

“WAKE UP!”

Okay, now I was awake. I climbed out of bed, pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I basically sleepwalked into the car. It all happened so quickly. We went through the airport, onto the plane, and into San Diego. I fell asleep about three times on the plane, but I was woken up each time due to my stomach gurgling from nasty airport food. I guess some other people were also having stomach troubles for the person three seats behind us puked and it stunk worse than a rotting dumpster in a run down side street. Needless to say I was happy when I got out of the plane. It was already evening when I finally got to meet my cousins.

“Hi! I’m Alex. You are…” Alex’s voice trailed off.

“I’m Alicia.”

“I’m Sophie. I’m 11 years old, I live in Washington state, my favorite food is caramel apples, I’m on my school’s softball team, my favorite color is brown, and I love, love, love alpacas,” Sophie said all in one breeze.

“Er, I’m… Alicia.”

“Okay, cool. That’s such a pretty name. Mom told me that we were going to Sea World aquarium tomorrow. I’m so excited. All of my friends say it’s amazing. I’m so excited to see the whales. Everybody says that they are supposed to be trained,” Alex went on.

“Yeah, I’m pretty excited for it too.” There wasn’t much more for me to say. I turned around and went to our bedroom.

* * *

Soon enough, it was morning. Sunlight streamed out through the window.  I yawned and sat up slowly. I got out of bed and stretched. I threw on a tank-top and a pair of ripped jean shorts. I stepped into my well worn flip-flops and hobbled into the kitchen. I used a rubber band bracelet to pull up my hair into a ponytail and I poured myself a bowl of cereal.

“Who is that?” came a voice from the bedroom.

“Don’t have any breakfast without me!” It was Alex’s voice. I heard a lot of rustling from the big attic bedroom and some noisy footsteps from the stairs. CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP.

“There you are.” It was Alex. She had an elaborate braid in her hair, and her face was drenched in blush, eyeliner, mascara, and bright pink lipstick.

“Oh, hi,” I mumbled. “Oh! We’re going to Sea World today. I’m so excited!” Alex looked at me like she was encouraging me to go up on stage and play a solo on my flute, so I raised an eyebrow. Alex’s creepy smile suddenly changed into a regular one. Soon enough, Aunt Zella was awake, and so was Mom and Jordan. In the meantime, our family pack would be traveling to Sea World aquarium. Alex, Sophie, Aunt Zella (whose spouse was home sick), Mom, Jordan, and obviously me, all piled into our rented minivan.

VROOM, VROOM, VROOM, went the van’s engine, The piece of junk tottered onto the highway.

We pulled into the parking lot, and all of the adults and children clambered out of the van.

“Okay, let’s have some order here!” came Mom’s voice. “We are going to visit the sea lions first, and then the sea turtles. We will then see the electric eels, and then the sharks. Finally, for the grand finale, we are going to see the big orca show. Kids, I’m sure this will be lots of fun, and Sea World is very educational. If you kids like Sea World enough, we might find time to come back to later on in this vacation. Everyone excited?” There was a long awkward silence. No one was as enthusiastic as Mom, but she continued. “Great!”

Anyway, Alex, Sophie, and I dragged behind the adults, tagging along about 10 feet away. The sea lions were cool, and so were the turtles. I marveled at the electric eels, but Sophie LOVED them.

“They’re the alpacas of the sea,” Sophie awed matter of factly.

If the electric eels were amazing, the sharks were out-of-this-world.

I thought that they were so elegant, gliding across the serene tank.

“I love them,” I managed to make out. Alex was literally pressing her nose to the glass, and Sophie was trying to communicate with one small whale on the extreme right of the tank. When Aunt Zella finally pulled us kids away from the tanks, it was time to go to the orca show.

As Sophie and I were running up ahead to catch up to Mom and Aunt Zella, we realized that Alex wasn’t with us.

I looked behind us, and there was Alex, looking for something. Sophie and I backtracked, and found Alex locating her silver gold compact. Alex searched the ground, and then hollered out, “I found it!”

Right when Alex had stood up, Sophie noticed a mysterious door. The least Alex and I could do was to follow Sophie.

Soon enough, we came to a slowdown. Our threesome hid in an alcove in the hallway as I saw two men carrying a thing wrapped in white.

“That’s an orca whale!” whispered Alex excitedly. We followed the men through another doorway. Then I had to duck through a short, wide door, and then Alex, Sophie, and I hid in a corner draped in shadows in a large room. Though I couldn’t see very well, I could hear the same two men muttering.

“Well, you know Edd, this feisty baby’s gonna take a long time to train. It’s been a long journey from where we captured him, and this babe’s gettin’ really restless. And when I captured him along with the crew, it took a good three hours to pull ‘im away from his family.”

It was terrible! How could these Sea World employees rip whales away from their lives? I’d read in books that orca whales were very intelligent animals, and what the Sea World employees didn’t know is that the orca whales have feelings, too! I tried to whisper all of my thoughts to Sophie, but she was too perplexed.

“This is evil,” Sophie managed to mutter. “Simply evil.”

Then I saw Mr. Edd turn toward our hidey hole. He grinned.

“Hmmm, what do we have here . . . “said Edd. I shrieked.

Sophie, Alex, and I bolted down the hallway, and appeared out of the door we came out of.

“We gotta do something about that!” Alex exclaimed. “How can they torture those poor whales! We gotta, gotta, gotta do something about that.”

“I know,” I muttered, my voice shaking with fear. “But first, we gotta find Mom.”

***

I headed to the visitor center. Sophie and Alex were tailing me. I ran up to Mom who was running around screaming.

“Oh honey, where were you?” Mom was frantic, her voice quivering. “I couldn’t find you anywhere!”  

“Um, I was doing some stuff. . . er . . . with my fellow cousins. But there is something really serious. These people at Sea World are torturing the poor whales. It’s terrible! I, er, might have followed these evil guys into a room where I overheard them planning to train the poor whale. Oh! It was sooo terrible!” It was hard to explain my feelings toward these whales. If there was only a way to help. I wish.

I glanced over and saw Sophie looking over some pamphlets. She was wide eyed and there was a big smile on her face.

“I know what we have to do.”

* * *

I was back home, sitting on Alex’s bed, along with Alex and Sophie. Though we looked like we were having a reading club meeting, we were actually all huddled over the same little pamphlet. I simply couldn’t believe it. There was a debate tomorrow! Sea World desperately wanted to expand their tank sizes, but animal rights activists had a strong NO. I had told Mom and Dad (who had arrived from the city a couple minutes ago) about the debate, and they had agreed that I could go to the  debate/protest. Aunt Zella also agreed that we were doing a good deed. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow!

* * *

“Are we there yet?” Alex complained.

“Almost!” replied Aunt Zella. In 5 mins, we were there. I was lead into a big, dimly lit room. Then, my family members and I were led into seats by a big, mysterious man in a dark suit. Next, a man started speaking. “Sea World is an excellent place for children to learn about sea life, and to inspire kids to become marine biologists.”

Oh, great. I didn’t know that Sea World had such good argument. But, if everything went well, hopefully Sea World would fall for the last time.

Oh, another man was practically screaming now. His face was completely red, and he was literally exploding with anger.

“Sea World is a terrible place for imprisonment! The poor orca whales have feelings, just like you and me!” Flecks of saliva were flying from the man’s mouth and they were spraying in my face.

“Ikkk!” I muttered under my breath. The spitty man continued.

“The worst part of Sea World is that they breed more whales and those whales are born into misery!

Wow. This debate was kind of too much for me. I kind of tuned out. As I started to nod off, I was shaken awake. It was Alex.

“The debate is over! The judge made the decision! I can’t believe it! The San Diego Sea World is not allowed to capture or breed ANY more orca whales!”

“OMG, OMG, OMG!!! I can’t believe it either! So we won! Well, we kinda did. OMG! I’m so happy!” I couldn’t believe that we actually got our way!

Mom was tapping me on the shoulder.

“Time to go Sweetie Pie,” Mom whispered.  And the big happy family piled into the big black van, and we drove away, cheering down the road.

 

World Class Heroes (Exerpt)

Introduction

In the middle of nowhere, there was an old den. In this old den, something very evil was about to be hatched, and only a great group of heroes could stop it.

 

World Class Heroes: The Big Crossover

Chapter 1

Dr. Dupont was fixing the time machine. He had decided to take a break from using the time machine for a while until he could fully control the effects of time. Until then, Dr. Dupont would focus on other experiments. In his den were some very unique artifacts. What was so unique about the artifacts was that they didn’t yet exist. All of them came from the future. One notable artifact was Dr. Dupont’s Speedster 2000, his signature go kart for Extreme Go Karting. The whole story of his Extreme Go Karting match, as well as his trip to the future, was very complicated. It started when his time machine crashed, and he fell in the future. It had all came down to this: Dr. Dupont desperately needed to fix his time machine. Dr. Dupont went around, making the finishing touches to the time machine.

 

Chapter 2

Mr. Moore was in the house, taking a look at the broken attic. The attic was the secret room the owner had made. It was very haunted, as there was a secret shadowy figure coming and taking the people who were visiting the house and putting them in a vault. Mr. Moore had been traveling with some friends and he had stumbled upon the house. The owner had let him stay in the house, but as we all know, they discovered that the house was haunted. Mr. Moore had decided he wanted to investigate more and so throughout the months, he had opened up the Horror Investigations Academy. All he needed to do right now was take a rest and not think about what he had realized after the whole mishap. “No crazy horror story can scare me,” he said.

 

Chapter 3

Detective Sharp was in a big building while Patrick was at home watching TV. He was in no ordinary building; it was the S.P.I.E.S. building, or Secret Police International Espionage Security building. It was the building where the S.P.I.E.S. agents would hang out and get new missions. It was also where they would meet. Detective Sharp had heard that General Alfonzo, the leader at S.P.I.E.S., was having a meeting to discuss a big idea. The General had needed Sharp in the meeting. The building was huge, with labs, scientists, secret agents, computers, tests, and lots of cool technology.

“I would definitely want to work in this place,” said Sharp.

In the meeting room, there were lots of people. Some Sharp had known from the past while others he had not known. One thing was for sure, the place was really loud. Then, everyone was seated down as the General gave a very large speech about his new project.

The General said, “For years we have had terror in the U.S., and in the world. While our soldiers can handle taking out the enemy, it is the sheer idea that we can not take out most enemies on our own, resulting in a large hard battle and hundreds of agents dying. Plus, we need a team to take out the larger unknown threats that happen to this day. That is why I have decided to start Project Crossover. Project Crossover will create a team of heroes to save the world when needed. We will tell you the official list of candidates later. Alright, everyone can leave now.”

Everyone started leaving the building in relief that the General was finished with his speech. Just as Sharp was leaving, General Alfonzo said that he would send an email to all the current contenders, or people who don’t work for S.P.I.E.S. but receive their daily updates and go to their events with the final list of members in Project Crossover. Sharp had lots of time to think about what would happen in Project Crossover.

 

Chapter 4

While Detective Sharp was leaving the S.P.I.E.S. building, he noticed that it was busy. Inside the S.P.I.E.S. building, there were lots of things going on. There were scientists taking tests, rooms filled with people on computers, security guards guarding the vault of weapons and dangerous items, as well as a large guarded prison filled with some of the most dangerous criminals. All the agents had their own rooms. The cool weapons at S.P.I.E.S included the Laser Blaster 2000, the Light Ray, the Gattling Grinder, as well as The Repulsor. S.P.I.E.S. also had cool cars with lots of guns. There were even flying cars. One agent was called down by General Alfonzo. The agent went down to General Alfonzo’s office. While going to the General’s office, he started hearing weird sounds. He quickly pulled out his gun and turned back. As the agent was walking, he decided to place a security button on the floor. The security button could detect danger from the amount of distance its shockwave caught. As the agent was turning back, he heard the button make the shocking noise. It sounded like a buzz. The agent came and started firing bullets. He could not see anything suspicious. Then, as he was moving toward the button to catch the mysterious person, something hit him. The agent was on the floor, dead, as a circle of blood lay on the floor with his body.

 

Chapter 5

A medium-sized man walked up to the agent’s dead body. He saw the body and smiled evilly. Then he warped over to an old abandoned den. The den was no ordinary den, as it was the supervillain hideout. All the famous supervillains hung out and they hatched their evil plans in the den. The supervillains started getting cameras and recording equipment. The different supervillains were all in different places. Shape-Shifting Man was in charge of the light, the Time and Space Wizard was using the main camera and the Anti-tective was setting up the computer.

He hacked into the S.P.I.E.S. internet and all the S.P.I.E.S. workers could see the video. What showed up was the supervillains’ leader, Mass Executioner.

Mass Executioner said, “Greetings humans. I have hacked your computers.”

“Cut,” the Time and Space Wizard said. ”Anti-tective hacked the computers.”

“Grrgh,” Mass Executioner said. He said, “Anyway, Anti-tective has hacked your computers. As you can see, I am planning to take over the world with my … my … my … wait, what was the superweapon called again?”

Just saying, we’re live so they can see what embarrassing things you’re doing. Anyway, the weapon was called Ex-Mass Pro. Remember, it’s a parody of X-Mas. You want to anchor your speech,” said Shape-Shifting Man.

“Fine,” Mass Executioner said. He added, “Wait a moment, then I will continue.” After the setup, Mass Executioner went back to his speech. “As you can see, I am planning to take over the world with my Ex-Mass Pro. Now, to end the speech, I will tell you a little story. Not only did I kill one of your soldiers, I also … dang it, I forgot.”

Anti-tective said, “Dang it, the line was ‘I also shut off your power so now you cannot see what evil stuff I am doing.’”

Mass Executioner said, “I also shut off your power so now you cannot see what evil stuff I am doing.”

Then, Anti-tective hacked the computers so that the live stuff was shut off.

 

Chapter 6

The message that Mass Executioner had delivered made General Alfonzo furious, although some of the workers were laughing at the horrible mistakes that Mass Executioner made.

“We need to set up the team, fast!” he said. General Alfonzo went to his office and then came back a few seconds later with a full list of candidates for Project Crossover. Then, General Alfonzo went to his computer to email the S.P.I.E.S. attendants. Meanwhile, Dr. Dupont, Detective Sharp, and Mr. Moore were all checking their email and found the Project Crossover candidate list. They were really shocked by the official candidates. They were all on the list.

Dr. Dupont wondered how he was going to stop a new threat. All he had was a time machine. But he also had his other inventions, even his Speedster 2000. Dr. Dupont felt like Doctor Who. Mr. Moore thought that his skills as a horror investigator would definitely be the reason why he was on the team. Detective Sharp wasn’t surprised, as he knew that he was a worthy person for this new team. The final member was unknown, as they were only referred to as the Inventor. Dr. Dupont, Detective Sharp, and Mr. Moore were all ready to start their new adventure.

 

Chapter 7

Detective Sharp was walking over to the S.P.I.E.S. building for the team’s first meeting. As he was driving to the building with Patrick, a crazy maniac was flying in a plane toward a building. Inside the building, Sharp and Patrick made it to General Alfonzo’s office. General Alfonzo said, “Alright, let’s introduce ourselves, then I will tell you the problem and how we will handle it.”

Everyone introduced themselves, then Sharp asked, “Who was the crazy maniac flying in the plane and why is he on the team?“

General Alfonzo replied, “That is the Inventor. He is great at creating inventions and supplies us with the best weapons and gear.”

Sharp replied, “Why does he have a crazy attitude?”

General Alfonzo replied, “Listen up, Sharp, we have to be nice on this team. You shouldn’t judge someone if they’re weird. Besides, he might come in use later. Anyway, yesterday we received a cryptic message from a new threat — the Mass Executioner. He plans to take over the world with the Ex-Mass Pro. We need you all to stop him and his minions. Tomorrow you will break into his satellite station. It is guarded by many robots so use your skills to defeat them.”

 

Chapter 8

As if time hadn’t passed,  the first day had passed and the heroes were ready for their first mission. General Alfonzo assigned everyone to their roles. He said, “Alright, here’s the plan. Dr. Dupont, you go back in time to a time when the robots left the satellite station. Then, you can go to the computers and delete the data. Sharp and Patrick, you sneak up and take the robots out. The Inventor will take out the aerial guards. And lastly, Mr. Moore will pull out the power.”

The heroes went to their places and started the mission. Dr. Dupont went in his time machine and traveled to Sunday, March sixth. The robots had to go to the evil lair to talk to Mass Executioner. So Dr. Dupont went into stationary mode and deactivated the satellite.

Stationary Mode was a mode that allowed Dr. Dupont to do things that wouldn’t produce an effect that would last forever, but would affect the future. It would only affect the future for a bit. However, if the effect is interfered with, then the interference stays. The reason Dr. Dupont didn’t want to permanently change the hacking was because the robots had lots of satellites that were given to them by Mass Executioner. Therefore, they could easily replace the hacked one.

Once Dr. Dupont hacked the station, Detective Sharp threw a bomb in the smoke pipe. It fell all the way to the wifi connection wires. The wires were in the middle of the station so there would be a big bang. The robots were surprised by the hacking. Then, Detective Sharp activated the bomb and then the station went BOOM!!! The Inventor had flown in the air and shot the aerial guards. The team was starting to leave until, the robots came out of the destroyed station, very angry. The team started to fight. Sharp and Patrick pulled out their revolvers and started shooting the robots. But the bullets were no match for the robot’s armor. Dr. Dupont went back to present day to see the chaos. He quickly grabbed his super sonic laser weapon and deactivated the robots. The inventor went in his plane and started blasting the robots. The robots were weakened and the surviving ones retreated.

The team shook hands, and General Alfonzo came and said, “I am so proud of you all. Keep up the good work.”

Then Detective Sharp said to the Inventor, “You actually did good. I regret saying that you were a crazy maniac. Do you want to be friends?”

The Inventor replied, “Yeah we can be friends.”

The team went to the plane and flew back to S.P.I.E.S.

 

Chapter 9

Some robots were flying to Mass Executioner’s lair.

The robots said, “Master, some people came and weakened us. Half of our army has been deactivated.”

Mass Executioner came and asked the robots, “Who were they?”

The robots replied, “We don’t know. They were random individuals. There was no team name or anything else.”

Mass Executioner said, “Find these people and their master.”

Meanwhile, Detective Sharp, Mr. Moore, Dr. Dupont, and The Inventor were all hanging out and having coffee. Then, General Alfonzo came and directed the team to a new mission. That mission turned out well. Throughout the next few days, the team was doing successful in their missions. The bad guys were getting weakened and one day, the team defeated a group of robots and retrieved a map of a large castle. The team realized that the old den was a decoy and that the villains had a real secret lair that was very big.

General Alfonzo said, “Tomorrow we will invade the lair and defeat the enemy. The evil lair is hard to navigate so we will split into teams. Everyone get some sleep, okay?”

Detective Sharp said, “We should make a team name.”

The Inventor asked, “What should we name it?”

Dr. Dupont said, “Well, we are all people of the world, we are a class, then we are obviously heroes. We should call ourselves the World Class Heroes.”

Everyone agreed and so the World Class Heroes got some sleep for the big day.

 

Chapter 10

The heroes woke up and got ready. Sharp was given a better gun instead of the bad revolver. General Alfonzo took the map of the castle and made coordinates to the homeworld of the villains, which was called Otherworldly Prime. Otherworldly Prime was a place which robots had taken over, and it had been turned into a big lair where the robots thrived under Mass Executioner. The S.P.I.E.S plane had to fly for 88 miles an hour and then the portal to Otherworldly Prime would activate.

The reason that the plane had to fly 88 miles an hour was because Otherworldly Prime existed in a place that could only be accessed by super speed. If the plane flew 88 miles an hour, it would fly so fast that it would be too unstable for planet Earth and they would land in Otherworldly Prime. The plane loaded the whole team and General Alfonzo. Then, the plane flew so fast most of the people on board started feeling nauseous. The portal activated and the team, including General Alfonzo, were all in the plane, while it was falling in a big blue hole. The big blue hole was so bright.

Then, after some time, the team made it to Otherworldly Prime. Otherworldly Prime was a space-looking place which had barely any people and barely any inhabitants. The team could see a futuristic castle in the distance. They assumed it was the lair and went over to it. But then, the floor stood up and the team was standing on a big block. The bottom then turned into acid and therefore, the team was stuck. Dr. Dupont found a code device. He quickly unraveled the code and a set of tiles showed up. Detective Sharp used his detective skills and found that a certain number of tiles would hurt the person who stepped on them while another number of tiles would not hurt the person who stepped on them. The Inventor quickly stuck up his foot and attempted to step on the tile.

But then, he took it back. Dr. Dupont studied the tiles with his sonic laser weapon. He determined the correct tiles and directed the team to the correct path. The team was led to another big block. On the big block, there were five sets of laser traps. There were tiles in between them. The Inventor determined that if you stepped on those tiles, the laser traps would activate. The laser traps were blocking the exit to the obstacle. General Alfonzo noticed other paths next to the laser traps. The paths had the key to deactivating the laser traps. General Alfonzo split the team into halves and each half went to each path.

Detective Sharp and the Inventor went on the left path, while Dr. Dupont and Mr. Moore were on the right path. We haven’t been talking about Mr. Moore for a long time. Anyway, Detective Sharp and the Inventor noticed that there was a tunnel with a lever. The lever deactivated the left side of laser Dr. Dupont and Mr. Moore found a code. Dr. Dupont unraveled the code and the right side of laser traps were deactivated.

This time, there was no block that appeared. General Alfonzo used his plane remote to bring the plane to the big block they were standing on. The team hopped in the plane and it flew. General Alfonzo noticed some fighter jets and they engaged in a large dogfight. All the planes were shooting bullets and the team’s plane couldn’t handle it. But they noticed that they were close to the big castle and they didn’t lose hope. The plane shot down the fighter jets and as they were getting close to the big castle. Just then, after going through lots of fighter jets, they had made it. They were standing in front of the entrance of the castle.

To be continued…

Solitary

Hazel –– The Middle of Nowhere

Sometimes I wish I had a parent. Sometimes I wish I had a place to go, a goal to reach. Sometimes I wish… Enough, my brain scolds itself.

The sun is merciless against my peeling neck, my feet somehow still trudging on. I curse my hair for being blacker than the night sky, attracting more heat than my poor scalp can handle. I bring my bottle to my dry lips, and try to remember the feeling of being refreshed for as long as I can.

I honestly don’t know where I am.

I’m from somewhere called Jackville. What part of the world that’s in, I don’t know. Heck, I don’t care. I walk and walk for what seems forever. My home is everywhere and nowhere. I guess that’s okay.

I squint and see hills and hills of straw-like grass, going on for farther than my eyes can make out. A couple bare trees are in the distance, the sun still glaring down at everything beneath it. A small pond is glittering down a hill, reflecting the bright blue sky. The cracked soil beneath my worn sneakers is a dehydrated beige instead of a rich dark brown.

As I get closer to the pond, I realize the water is rippling slightly. I stop, crouch down, and listen. My eyes scan the pond’s edge through the grass. I need to decide on fight or flight.

Two large ears appear over the golden grass. I nearly missed it. The head pops out, its beady black eyes looking for me. Its fur is slightly more red than the grass, and it has a black back. I sigh.

A jackal.

I recognize this one as a black-backed jackal, smaller than its cousin, the side-striped jackal. Jackals are scavengers, and will feed on small animals and the remains of already eaten animals.

I pick a fight.

I stand up abruptly and roar. With that, the jackal scampers away into the grass. I kneel down at the pond’s edge and cup my hands. The water trickles down my chin and shirt, my lips form a smile. I run my cool hands through my tangled hair, and let the water tickle my toes.

My forearm is submerged in the water, my hand in the gooey muck. I take out a pebble from the pond and throw it as far as I can. Ripples come back to me like an echo.

“Hazel,” Mom said as we threw pebbles into the water. “Every pebble is like friendship and love. You know why?”

“Why?” I asked, letting her embrace me with her warmth. Her dark blonde hair fell over my face, but I didn’t care.

“You see the ripples coming back?”

“Yeah.”

“Friendship and love radiate, spread, and come back to you.”

“What do you mean?”

She caressed my hair. “My little star, when you give something, there is always a return.”

Only then do I realize that the pond is rippling more and more. My tears are like firecrackers, erupting in the pond, sending ripple after ripple, crashing into each other. That’s what she called me. My little star.

Mom used to say that when you give, there is always a return. I give love to Mom… but she’s too far away to return it.

Water bottle sloshing, lips a little less cracked, I set off from nowhere to nowhere.

 

Parent Problems

“Mom?” I called into the empty living room. “Mom?”

I peeked in the kitchen. No one. I silently climbed the stairs. The TV was blaring in Mom’s room. I squinted through the crack… I gasped, a little too loudly.

“Shu’ up Malcolm! Are yeh a man or not? This movie isn’ even scary!” a gruff man’s voice scolded. He thought someone elseMalcolmwas the one who gasped. His hair was curly and out of control. His eyes kind of scared me. I felt like I should obey him or he’d punish me. His shirt was stained and he seriously needed to shave. He gave off a strange scentcigarettes. A boy with dark blonde hair mumbled something that I can’t hearI was already running to my room.

“Honey! I wanted to talk to you. Come sit.” Mom patted the space next to her.

“Who is that guy, Mom? What is he doing here?”

“My little star! He’s –– he’s your father, honey.”

My eyes widened. My father? Horror ran through me. I had his hair color and his dark, determined, powerful eyes. But I’d never met him before. I knew there was a reason for it.

“Don’t be scared, please. We were separated, right after we had you and Malcolm.”

“Why? Who’s Mal –– no way! Malcolm’s my brother?!”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. But we think it’s time we live together again.”

I crumbled at her feet. Live with them? Live with –– with him? No way.

I take out one of the pebbles I collected from the pond and throw it as far as I can. I run after it, stomping through the grass. It’s softer now, less like straw. The soil is not cracked and beige anymore. I take that as a good sign.

But my mind is in the past, and as I retrieve the pebble and throw it again, I feel the same anger, the same surprise and shame, as I did that day I left home. How could that man be my father? But we have the same dangerous eyes and black hair –– only mine is straight, not a curly mess.

I sit at the bottom of a short tree, resting my back against the rough bark. I close my eyes against the sunlight, against the heat, against everything. I wish I could open my eyes and find myself with Mom, no one else. No father. Just Mom and me. I don’t call him Dad. He’s just… not. He’s Father. The distant father. The scary father. Not Dad.

I open my eyes to find myself alone with the grass, dirt, sun, and sky. I sigh. I guess things don’t happen just because I want them to. I stare at the grass and the sky and the dirt and everything there is to look at, which sometimes feels like a lot, and sometimes feels like too little. Sometimes I look at the sky and see how beautiful the clouds are, or I’ll look at the dirt and watch the worms wiggling their way around for hours, or I’ll look at a pond, and throw rocks and watch the ripples.

Other times I feel like the world is boring, and there’s only a blue sky, and brown dirt, and water in a pond. I wonder what normal kids do. They don’t stare at nature for all their life, do they? They don’t have to run away from their parents because they’re scared. It sounds so much more full. A little less scary. But I don’t know if I would rather have that life.

I quickly learned that things don’t happen because you’re hungry, or sad, or dirty. You have to earn it. I was only eleven when I learned that lesson. I was eleven when I left.

Tears spilled everywhere while I screamed for my mom, that I was sorry and I wanted to come home. I was hopelessly lost in the forest, the shadows starting to look creepy. They followed me, and every crunch of a twig under my foot made me jump. A sign was nearby, but it was hard to read. I took out a flashlight.

Why are you here? Go home.

This is Mason’s property.

I gasped. Mason hated when people were on his property. No one had really seen him, but he made it clear he didn’t like visitors. A growl came from my left. I spun around.

“Read the sign, little girl. You are the second to stumble onto my property. The first did not end well.”

I ran. I thought about the sign. Why are you here? it said.

I’m here because my father is back. I’m not going to be with him. That drove my legs farther and farther from home.

 

Imaginary Friends

The sky, trees, and grass aren’t very good company. They don’t respond to your questions, or give their own opinion. They are just there, growing and reproducing and dying all over again. I live differently. I don’t live to bloom and then die. I live to –– what do I live for?

I have friends, I guess. They just aren’t different people. They’re part of me. They’re imaginary, which I know sounds babyish, but I need them. They’re my support. I only have two, Zoe and Kate. They give me a boost with everything I do.

The trees are everywhere now, not scattered like before. It’s almost a forest. I have shade now,  but at night, shadows still give me the creeps. I’m probably nearing a deciduous forest, because brittle leaves are all over the ground, nearly up to my ankle. I kick through them, thinking about jumping into leaf piles and laughing and not caring that a dog probably peed on the leaves. I wonder if kids my age even do that anymore.

“Thank goodness the sun isn’t showing its face anymore!” Kate said. “My shoulders are sunburned and peeling!”

“Stop grumbling, Kate. We’re all going through that, you know,” Zoe smiled.

“Oh yeah, and I bet we got a whole bunch of vitamin D too. Right, Miss Know-It-All?”

“Oh quiet, you two,” I said, smiling secretly.

I heard a rustling sound. Kate and Zoe froze. The noise was coming nearer.

“Guys, this shouldn’t be something too big if you listen to its footsteps. But there are two, maybe a baby. Either way, if this is a mom, it’ll be pretty protective. It might feel that we’re a threat,” Zoe whispered. I nearly told her to be quiet. She’s your imagination, I told myself, as much as I wished she wasn’t.

A head popped out from a tree. Her ears were perked up, fur a reddish brown. The underside of her tail was white, and I heard Zoe hiss, “A white-tailed deer!” A smaller deer followed by her legs, trotting in the deep pile of leaves. There were circles around the deer’s black eyes, which were bright with interest.

I slowly crouched down by a tree, trying to be as quiet as possible. The mother deer stared at me intently for a very long time. She was wondering if I was a threat. I didn’t move. If I looked scared she’d sense it. So I relaxed into the tree, letting the branch’s shade cover me. They trotted past me, and when I couldn’t hear the deer’s footsteps, I stood up.

Only then do I realize that Kate and Zoe vanished from the beginning. I handled it all by myself.

 

Full Circle

It’s the next night, all peaceful and quiet, except for the rustling leaves and breeze that flutters my hair. I crawl into my little hut made of twigs and logs. They lean into a tree trunk, making a cone-shaped structure. My rucksack is in one corner, a pile of leaves in the other. That’s my bed tonight. I take out a small blanket and wrap it around myself, just like Mom and I did when we sat out on our porch. I duck under the small entrance of the hut and look up at the moon through the branches.

It’s amazing how far away the moon is. I feel so far away from other people, my mom, my brother. But the moon is so much farther away… doesn’t it feel lonely? Father is so far from my life, but the moon is still farther. Even my distant father. Or am I being distant? Do people think of me the way I think of my father? Does Malcolm think I’m a distant sister?

I shake my head as if to shake away the questions. What does it matter?

The wind picks up, now whipping my hair. I decide to go inside. I make myself as comfortable as I can in my leaf pile, wrap the blanket around me, and close my eyes. I wonder if whenever I walk, I’m getting closer or farther away from home. I’m not really sure what I want.

***

I wake up with leaves in my face. They smell like fresh soil and sap. The wind has died down, the morning sun peeking through the walls of the hut. It’s smiling at me, as if to say, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” I sit up and bang my head against the side of my shelter. What a start for a good day.

“Ow.”

I yawn widely and look into my bag. Today’s breakfast is…

Insects!

I know you’re thinking, “GROSS!” But, insects are the best thing you can eat in the wilderness. They’re full of protein and easy to find. Plants are faulty because a lot are either not easy to digest or poisonous. I learned that at summer camp.

I sling my rucksack over my shoulder and climb out of the shelter. I learned the hard way to always take my bag or animals get curious about what’s in that hut. The leaves are still, the forest only just waking. All is silent except for an early bird’s call. I kick through the leaves and trace my fingers on the bark. My stomach grumbles, but I tell myself to be patient. This morning’s breakfast might be a little more special…

“Aha!” I exclaim. My fingers find something wet and a little sticky: tree sap. Tree sap is good raw, and isn’t actually that sticky. A lot of it is made of water. Trees give sap when it’s thawing or freezing, and in this case it’s starting to melt. I collect what I can in my container (from home) and mix it with my bugs. Not bad.

I decide to eat and walk on, leaving my shelter. As I munch on my sap-glazed insects, I wonder where I’m going. The woods are getting noisier now. I walk and walk, finally coming across something I haven’t seen in a while. A sign. As I near it, I realize it says,

“Why are you here? Go home.

This is Mason’s property.”

A shiver runs through my spine. All this time, I was going in a circle? I turn around to go the way I came.

Kate jumped out of a bush.

“The Masons? You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“No way! I’d rather fight an angry coyote!” Zoe gasped.

Someone growls from behind me.

“My, my little girl. Where have yeh been?”

 

What Parents Are For

I try not to panic. It’s just a human. No claws, no teeth, no poisonous venom. Just a human. I’ve been through enough to know this person is no harm.

I pick fight over flight. I’m not a little girl anymore.

I spin around and glare with my dark dangerous eyes. “Come out.”

A man with dark, out-of-control hair comes out from a tree. His shirt is stained and filthy, his eyes murderous. He smelled like something vaguely familiarcigarettes.

I gasp. Father.

“So, little girl. How did yeh end up here?” He smiles, showing gray-yellow teeth.

“Don’t call me ‘little girl.’”

“Why not? Yer obviously smaller than me.”

“Parents don’t normally call their children ‘little girl.’”

His eyes widen. He doesn’t look so casual and unconcerned now.

“No way. Hazel?” He whispers. “My little star?”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Why not? Yer mother does. I’m yer dad, yeh know.”

“No. No, you’re not my dad. You’re my father.”

“What’s the difference, again?”

“Dads take care for their children! Dads love their children! Dads give a good example for their children! Dads —– 

“And who says I don’t do all that?” he fires back. “Do you think I don’t love ye? Do you think I wanted to be separated from ye?”

I look at him straight in the eyes. I see his concern, his surprise, his guilt.

“Yeh got my eyes,” he says at last. “Come home. Yer mom’s been waitin’ a year now. Come home.”

Remember me?

I step into my home, not Father’s. It’s exactly the same, like I’m stepping into the past. Except this time, Father’s hand is on my shoulder.

“Hey, Malcolm! Call yer mother. I got someone.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Just do what I say!”

Malcolm peeks into the living room, and his jaw drops.

“Hi, Malcolm. Remember me?”

“Uh… hi. What’s your name again?”

“Hazel. I’m your sister.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, my sister. Yeah.”

“Call yer mother already!”

“Mom!” It’s strange that someone other than me calls her ‘Mom.’

Her dark blonde swaying, mom comes in. She looks at Malcolm, then at father, then at me.

“Hazel! Oh my God!” She hugs me so tightly that I can’t breathe. I hug her back, tears spilling down my cheeks.

Sometimes I wish… No. There’s nothing to wish for anymore.

Wish I Was Yours

Chapter 1

“Mom, MOOOMMM!” I yell, but she can’t hear me and she disappears right there in front of me. I wake up, sweat trickling down the side of my face. My mom died when I was young. She just… disappeared out of nowhere when I needed her. I couldn’t sleep for months. I thought about her all the time afterwards. She only died five years ago but it felt like it happened right now.

I ease my way out of bed and read my clock, which says 7:03. I put on the clothes I picked out from yesterday night. I live in an estate, but only because my dad is a duke. But I got sent here to Paris, in a boarding school. I met my roommate yesterday, but she’s with her boyfriend right now. Luckily, it’s a mixed boarding school, with boys and girls. I never really actually had a true love or a serious boyfriend except for Jason.

My mom was my best friend and I didn’t need anything else besides her. I just found out I have a dad anyways. I’ve been living with my gramma in past years before my dad decided to show up out of nowhere and come back into my life. I was popular at my old school but that was because I had a model for a mom and I looked exactly like her. I was proud to look like her, but now when I look at myself it just reminds me of her and it kills me every time. People tell me to accept that she’s gone but I can’t. You just can’t have everything you ever think you’ll need and then lose that most important part of your life. It shouldn’t work like that. Never should it ever work like that.

“Lively, are you here?” Auburn says to me, walking into the room. “I brought you a donut. Hope you like jelly-filled,” she says again.

I look at the donut hungrily and take a huge bite when she hands it to me.

“By the way, when we go down to breakfast my boyfriend and a couple of my friends will be joining us,” Auburn says, quickly jumping out of the shower.

Not knowing and grateful enough to know I’m already making friends, I wait for Auburn to get dressed and together we’re out of the door, down the stairs, and quickly into the dining room. The room is stunning and the wonderful smell in the room lifts my spirits up. I see a hot boy walking towards us. He has navy blue eyes and thick black hair with high cheekbones. At first I think he was walking toward me before I see him reach us and grab Auburn into a deep hug. This must be Sky. No wonder he’d date someone like Auburn, with her beauty and friendliness toward anyone. He finally realizes me standing there and does a double take. He flashes his smile with his dimples and I feel myself turn redder than I’ve ever been.

“Hi, you must be Lively, right?” he says.

I can swear I feel my heart skip a beat, I might as well just faint right here. He is also British, too, so every word he says is seeped in English. As we near the front of the line I turn toward the menu, and everything (I mean everything) is in French, so I try my best to try to figure out what it says. But in the end Sky has to help me. We get to our table, and as soon as we get there, a swarm of girls from unknown places start flirting with Sky, but he easily shakes them off and sits down with the rest of us. This place just seems to get better by the second, and unlike my old life, more interesting too.

 

Chapter 2

“So, Lively, how do you like our — and now your — school so far?” Auburn asks while she stuffs her face with toast, not caring that Sky is laughing at her.

“It’s really sorta… ” I start to say but not wanting to say the word because it might offend people.

“I know it’s much,” Auburn says, widening her eyes for emphasis.

“Yeah,” I take a bite of my yogurt, the only thing I knew how to order while standing in line.

“I just really miss my old school, and my best friend Katherine, and some other friends as well,” I say, more to myself than Auburn.

“Ooh, who’s the boy you left?” Auburn says with a tease in her voice.

I turn my head to hide my blush, only to find Sky staring at me closely as soon as I say, “His name was Jason. We were starting to get serious, but then I had to leave. He was my only boyfriend I really cared about.” I picture the way he used to smile at me while he was eating a gummy, and his dazzling white teeth would turn all green or blue depending on the color of the gummy. I remembered the way he would bite off the head of the gummy first. He said it would kill it without pain as fast as he could. I start to smile just at the thought, but am abruptly stopped midway when my phone buzzes on the table.

Sky quickly looks at the caller ID and says “Oh, it’s that Jason person.”

My eyes pop wide open. Jason hasn’t called me since we had to say goodbye and finally he called right now. I grab the phone from a slightly dissapointed-looking Sky and a very nosy Auburn.

“Hey beautiful, whatcha doing?” he answers as soon as I pick up.

“Hahaha, very funny. You know I hate when you call me beautiful, handsome,” I say, glancing around, seeing an annoyed look on Sky’s face and Auburn hovering over me trying to listen. Suddenly, Sky grabs the phone from my hand and says:

“Hey, this is Sky, Lively’s super cool awesome new boyfriend. Sorry, but it seems like you’ll have to find another girlfriend. Adios!” and with that he hung up.

“OMG I’ve been waiting for him to call since I left! How could you?” Anger flashed before my eyes before I stormed off without my phone.

 

Chapter 3

“Lively, LIVELY!” Sky ran after me down the corridor and turned me around with his arm.

“WHAT? Okay, what? You got what you want, I don’t even know you! Just because all the girls throw themselves at you doesn’t mean I’d be pleased at what you said to Jason.” I start crying silently but when Sky tries to touch me I jerk away from him and his face contorts back into an angry face.

“I just didn’t want you to wait for someone when you’re a beautiful girl, you see. Whenever you walk past everyone does stare at you.”

“I don’t need your pity, I can handle myself. Why don’t you go back to your girlfriend? God!” I say but my brain only processes on one word which is that he called me beautiful. I finally notice people staring, and I say quietly so only he can hear me. “Stop acting like you are my boyfriend, you already have someone who is perfect for you. I’m just trying to find the perfect one for me.”

I storm back into the cafeteria, grab my bag, and walk out to my first class. English. The only class where I can make up a new world, new characters, a new life and not have anyone tell me no. As I walk into English I notice I’m the only one in the classroom. Not even the teacher is here. Surprise, surprise! Not like that’s new, I was always one of the straight-A students in my old school anyways.

As people start filing into class, Auburn plonks herself into the chair next to me and Sky sits down right on my other side. Sabrina, who was also sitting at our table with her boyfriend Dylan, sat right on the other side next to Auburn.

“I’m so sorry Lively, I really don’t know what got into Sky. And he will now be your maid waiting on you hand and foot forever. Sky was probably just looking out for you, right SKY?!” Auburn pleads to me while she glares at Sky.

“Yeah, I beg of you,” Sky says in the exact same voice that Auburn had.

I laugh, but finally give in. I mean if you have a cute boy trying to stick up for you — even in the worst possible way — what could you do?

“I hope you guys know I’m holding you to that no matter what,” I tell them with a gleam in my eyes. We all burst out laughing. Even Sabrina, who hasn’t said a thing since I met her, gives a small grin.

As we calm down the teacher walks into the room. He jumps straight into the lesson as he sets his bag onto the floor and sits on the edge of the table.

“What do we learn about ourselves when we write?” the teacher begins.

I relax in my seat, already knowing I’m gonna enjoy this class.

 

Chapter 4

Before I know it, I make it to dinner in one piece. I found out in all my periods I was with either Sabrina, Sky, or Auburn. I convince Sky with guilt to get my dinner so I don’t have to face the treacherous way of only eating a yogurt again. Once everyone got to our table we all started to eat.

“This went a lot better than I thought it would. These past couple of hours, I mean,” I say as soon as I’m able to get my mouth away from all the delicious food.

“I know, right? It’s the best. Even if people say this school is so snotty, it has the best educational system ever,” Auburn gushes.

“Of course Auburn would say that, she’s always a teacher’s pet,” Sky says. And while holding back a laugh he imitates everything that Auburn said in a high squeaky voice. As Auburn swats him with her hand we all burst out laughing.

“But seriously Auburn, we still on for tonight though?” Sky says trying to get ahold of his laughing.

“Maybe, if I don’t kill you first,” Auburn says, shaking her fist at him in a playful manner.

“Fine, I’ll buy you a crepe if you forgive me,” Sky says in reply as he shoves another spoonful of food into his mouth.

“ YAY! Fine, I forgive, but only because you’re buying me a crepe. That’s all,” Auburn says and as she gives him a kiss on the cheek.

I look away, not wanting to look at them anymore, but as I turn away I see Sabrina and Dylan making out. I look down at my phone and it vibrates. Finally, a text from Katherine.

 

Hope you’re having fun 🙂 but I miss you already 🙁

xox- M

 

I smile at her text and text back.

 

Not as much fun without you 🙁

oxo-L

 

Quickly she replies.

 

Nope I bet you just miss your boyfriend JASON.

Jk.

xox-M

 

I laugh out loud without realizing. I look up since I feel everyone’s eyes looking at me. Well, only Auburn and Sky. I smile sheepishly.

“What? Is something wrong?” I say, still not sure what had happened to make them look at me with such funny faces.

“It’s not that, you just — you seem to really be enjoying your phone more than us,” Auburn says with a little hurt mixed in with her usual cheeriness.

“It’s not that, it’s just that I haven’t seen my best friend since I left and I just really miss her,” I say, not meaning to hurt Auburn. I quickly show her the texts and she smiles — really, really widely.

“Oh, looks like Jason just texted,” Auburn says with her eyebrows going up.

I quickly take me phone back and read the text.

 

I miss you so much why don’t just leave paris already.

Love, J

 

I quickly get up from the table, suddenly feeling very happy. I guess I made a loud noise because everyone seems to stare at me. I don’t care. I go to the little corner right beside our small table. A little too close, with very easy access for eavesdropping, but I didn’t notice. I call. I feel like we’ve been talking for five minutes only to see that dinner’s over. I quickly hang up and walk up to our table with a smile that I wasn’t able to wipe off my face, as everyone starts heading out. This would be my first night in Paris, but all I want to do is go to sleep. I say bye to everyone and go up to my room. I fall onto my bed, closing my eyes. When sleep doesn’t come I finally decide to watch my favorite TV show, Pretty Little Liars. And that’s how the next day I find myself asleep in front of the TV and Auburn in her bed.

 

Chapter 5

Since it’s Saturday there isn’t much to do, especially since I finished all my homework so I could have the whole weekend to myself. Then I remember that I have nothing planned, unlike my old school which I always had this party to attend or that get-together.

“Knock, knock,” I hear Sky say. I wake up Auburn, who is a very deep and late sleeper but in the end I have to open the door. As soon as Sky walks into our room Auburn is awake.

“Sabrina, Dylan, Jace, and I are planning to go to the park today. Would you guys like to join?” Sky says, and sits down on the couch in our room. The way he says Jace’s name is clearly out of annoyance.

“Definitely. What about you, Lively?” Auburn says and she goes over to sit down next to Sky.

“Um, sure. I haven’t seen anything around Paris yet,” I say, a little embarrassed.

“Wait, so you’re saying that you’ve been in Paris for a couple of days now, but you still haven’t seen anything of the campus?” Sky says, looking at me strangely.

“Yeah, but today’s the day, right?” I say, putting on a cheery face.

“YEP, today is the day!” Sky and Auburn say together before they start to kiss.

I walk out of the room and run right into a brick wall — no wait it’s not a brick wall, it’s someone’s body. I step back and there he is. Sky’s twin brother Jace. Funny how Sky never even talked about him at all but immediately I fall head over heels for him. I realize I’m staring and he is too, so we quickly look away and then look back.

“Um, hi, sorry for running into you,” we say in unison before we start blushing.

“I’ll show you to Sky,” I say again, trying to start a conversation, but he’s too busy staring at me to notice.

As we walk into the room Sky turns around and glares at Jace.

“So, Lively, it seems like you meet my twin, Jace,” Sky said, still glaring at Jace, who is staring at me.

“Let’s go downstairs to Sabrina and Dylan so we can go to the park already,” Auburn says, trying to clear the tension.

We all get ready and leave. Sabrina and Dylan are right where they’re supposed to be. We run to the park and as soon as we get there we lay the picnic sheet down and start to dig into the food that Sky generously packed.

“So, Lively, how do you like the school so far?” Jace says, looking at me while he blushes.

“Oh, I really am enjoying myself,” I say while looking down at my sandwich, trying to hide my very own blush.

“Did you talk to Jason?” Sky says to me with a frown on his face.

While glaring at him from underneath my lashes I say, “No he’s been very busy,” while I try very hard not to remember not to remember what Katherine told me this morning on the phone. Jason got a girlfriend — someone who isn’t me. I wasn’t even that surprised or sad even, because even when we talked on the phone he seemed different, sort of like he was obligated to talk to me. Just like the psychiatrist was forced to listen to me cry over my mom, even though I could tell she thought I should’ve gotten over it already.

“EARTH TO LIVELY!” Auburn screams and everyone laughs except for Jace and Sky for some reason.

“I’m just going to go for a walk, I’ll be back soon,” I say quietly as I get up and start walking away.

“I’ll join,” says Jace and he follows me.

I look back and there is Sky, looking at me with the same look he’d given me earlier, sort of like jealousy.

Jace and I walk side by side. The silence was comforting, surprisingly, and it seems like Jace also likes the silence because he doesn’t try to disrupt it. I sit down, tired of walking, and he sits down right next to me. His leg brushes against mine but he leaves it there. That is also surprisingly comfortable.

“I really like you, I mean really like you, Lively,” Jace says as he takes my hand.

“Oh wow, subtle,” I tease before I say, “I really like you too.” Before I think it through I give him a kiss. It is gentle and his lips are soft as flower petals. I pulled away reluctantly, feeling like we had an audience, and there is everyone there staring at us.

“If you guys were going to go make out you could’ve at least given us a heads up,” Auburn teases before everyone starts cracking up. But like always, whenever it has anything to do with me, Sky doesn’t laugh, and this moment is no exception. But I’m not going to let that spoil the day. He can pout all he wants right now and it wouldn’t bother me. Right?

Mind

I scratched at my sweater as my eyes darted around the room. My hands twitched to do something, and I decided to twirl my hair, but realized it was weird. I clenched my hands into fists and pushed them into my lap, holding my eyes closed. The world around me, the noise, everything faded. I was the only thing there in that hazy universe I had created.

I planned to keep it that way… this world, this haze, was mine, and only mine. The only thing I could control.  

I was erasing the world, and relied only on myself. That was how I got through, stayed sane, kept going. I narrated my life, pretended I was the main character of  a novel. I hoped people cared about what the character… me… was doing.

To feel the adrenaline and the wonder of someone hanging to the end of their seat wondering what I would do next. To be amazed about what decisions I would make. They would laugh with me about the crappy joke or pun I would make. To understand me… to relate to me.

I was always sucked into books, eating the words, wondering what James, Cather, Ines, an endless amount of characters were doing. Siding with their feelings and dreaming of the day I would meet those fictional characters. To me their world was as real as mine. Who’s to say they weren’t reading a book about me?

I honestly would’ve preferred to be sad, at least that feeling was real. Fake smiling and happiness rubbed off on other people. It made everyone around me happy, and I felt my mother deserved a break… HE was already a handful.

But I’m running out of stories… and I fear what will happen next.   

Broken Wings Way

#1, Broken Wings Way

Celia had always started her days the same way, even after she moved in with Mike. She would wake up at 7:00 and rush to whatever kitchen was in her reach at the time. With eyes that were only half open, Celia would make coffee and sit by an open window, trying to breathe in the dewy air. It was a simple start to the day.

Mike always slept through it, maybe even snored through it. He never saw the way Celia leaned back against the wall, would never know the way her eyes opened, really opened, for the first time every day. If he had seen it, he would have smiled silently, not interrupting her early-morning peace.

When they were both awake, they sat on the patio of their small home. That tradition had only started when they moved into this studio in the lot. Slowly, more houses were built, more people moved in. Many left, but Mike and Celia stayed. They welcomed new families and people. They weren’t the owners, but the leaders, of the little lot. The original fighters.

They thought of it as a refugee camp. They all did. Everyone there came from different wars, different fights, and hid in the little gray huts off of Route 9.

Celia and Mike didn’t work anymore.They cut the grass, went for walks. They brought cookies to the neighboring families, read books. Simple.

They’d both been searching for simple for quite some time.

When they had met each other, their lives were each their own separate chaoses. They told themselves, and soon, each other, that they were happy in the storms of their lives. But soon the gales tore down their houses, and they had to move out.

Move out into this little home, just at the entrance of the quiet Broken Wings Way.

It was Mike’s idea to change the name. “Something more fitting,” he called it. Much better shaped than Flyer’s Road. Celia had been the driving force, though, not stopping at changing the name on the sign, but calling the mayor’s office to get it officially replaced.

And maybe they were kidding themselves, but they could have sworn that this name brought in new patrons, brought in new stories and new tires bumping over the gravel driveway.

‘Broken wings’ was a simpler, easier-to-be-digested term for the marks on their veins that only they saw. Sweet synonyms for the withdrawal and screams they tried to escape by moving into #1, Broken Wings Way.

 

#2, Broken Wings Way

It always felt like a full-body sigh of relief when he rolled past the street sign and onto the gravel road, a homey crunching filling his ears. As if nothing could reach him past the invisible walls of the little neighborhood.

Cael had not been expecting a community when he first rolled past the then-ominous street sign. He was expecting to be questioned, asked for papers that he could not produce, then reported to the police. It was far, far from his mind to be accepted into their little family.

But he soon realized that he was not the only one missing something. Even something just as trivial as a typed validity of his nation. Some were missing children, families, hope. But those losses came to a collection of small gains; a tire swing hung in front of one of the houses, carpooling to school on misty Monday mornings, a garage sale on a warm Saturday afternoon.

And soon after his easy move (where no papers had been discussed at all), he had found his niche. He had quickly discovered that every person could produce a small part for the community. Cael had always loved to work with his hands. When he was a child, he had built little homes out of wood bricks, feeling a pang of guilt every time he had to take the constructions down to make room for new ideas.

When Mike had posted a flyer about needing a volunteer to repair the window of house #3, Cael didn’t respond for four days. But every time he passed the billboard, he felt a pang of guilt. As if he was letting down the occupants of #3, and the rest of the little alliance that had been so kind to him. He told himself that he needed to stay under the radar, even here. But, finally, he knocked softly on Celia and Mike’s door, and told them that he would fix the window (and install a tire-swing for a coming family with children) happily, as long as no one else had already taken the job.

Celia had invited him in, gave him cups filled with strong coffee, and told him that she had hoped he would take the job, seeing as he had that “lovely” toolbox sitting on his window.

Soon, the flyers didn’t go up on the billboard, and were just slipped under Cael’s door. He picked them up swiftly, a small smile forming after seeing the simple tasks that needed to be completed. They needed him to complete them.

Two years into Cael’s residence in Broken Wings Way, Mike confided that he, of course, knew that Cael was undocumented. He had known since the first time he had met him, how nervous he was every time he was handed another paper. Mike’s breath dripped with the sloppy-warm scent of the peppermint alcohol that was being served at that year’s Christmas party, and Cael knew he wouldn’t have revealed this had it been a normal day.

But Cael was glad they knew, that he didn’t have to keep the secret anymore. Slowly, Cael became a little more talkative, and he smiled at people as he walked on the road, his road.

Things started to feel more relaxed for Cael. He thought, just maybe, Broken Wings Way could be the final building block house, one he did not have to break down or wipe out.

 

#3, Broken Wings Way

The car had been buckling under the pressure of the bags it was carrying since half way into the drive. It sputtered as it pulled onto the gravel road, almost out of fumes to run on.

Amelia could hear her kids laughing in the back, unaware of what was happening around them. Their toys, though slightly broken and very used, continued playing without pause. Neither child realized that they had finally reached home.

The gravel turned to dirt under the worn tires, and they soon passed the first house of the road. “Broken Wings Way” was painted on a little board next to it. Amelia pulled the car to a stop a little ways down, allowing her head to finally lean against the seat, sighing with relief. Giggles erupted from the back.

She was almost glad the car was breaking down, sputtering as she slowly pulled the keys out of the ignition. Amelia knew she wouldn’t find the money to fix it for months, but perhaps it was for the best that she wouldn’t be able to drive far away from here.

Looking into the mirror of the sun visor, applying more concealer just below her eye where the tender bruise still lay, she reviewed the information that the caretakers of these homes had told her on the phone just last week.

Amelia had to call from a payphone across the street from her children’s school. She didn’t dare call from the phone in her house, and she was afraid he might look at her recent call list on her cell phone.

She spoke to Mike first, his soft-spoken words soothing her ears. He described the community with such care and spoke so excitedly when Amelia talked about her kids, that she decided immediately to move in.

Next, Mike handed the phone over to his wife, who shamelessly asked what it was that Amelia was escaping, explaining that everyone was escaping something in Broken Wings. Hesitantly, Amelia whispered that her kids weren’t safe around her husband. She was embarrassed by the shake in her voice and tears on her bruised cheeks when the woman asked if Amelia was safe herself. After she hung up the phone, she sat next to the payphone and wiped the stream of tears from her eyes.

Soon enough, her older son noticed the car had stopped, and pointed to the tire swing hanging from the tree on the third house down. They threw questions into the front, squirming in their car seats.

Amelia took a deep breath, pushed away the stained mirror, and hopped out of the car, ready to get settled into house #3, Broken Wings Way.

 

#4, Broken Wings Way

The fourth house was empty. But it had been occupied so fully and so recently that Mike could not bring himself to spread word about a vacancy.

There hadn’t even been time to sweep up the broken glass on the kitchen floor.

Perhaps, it had nothing to do with time at all. Celia told Mike that the energy of the house was too strong, that he was still in there. Mike told his neighbors that he needed to allow the house to rest before they let anyone else fill it up. The neighbors told each other that they didn’t want it active either.

Everyone had known Tim. Everyone knew Tim’s flannels, his soft voice, his stories. The way he quietly turned down drinks at parties. The way he set up those parties so eagerly, always trying to bring the community together.

Mike softly wondered who would organize those parties now.

Everyone knew how Tim had come to need the little corner off the busy road. How he had battled with alcohol for all his life, and could only find escape in this quiet isolation, only leaving Broken Wings for his job as a substitute teacher.

Money had never been the cause of his patronage, and although all the neighbors knew he didn’t have the funds, Tim quickly volunteered to pay for food, for a generator during a particularly harsh storm one winter, for anything he could think of to help the others.

Celia didn’t voice her worries about who would make the community feel so whole if Tim wasn’t there to keep it from cracking down the middle.

No one had seen Tim all day, and they assumed he was at his job, or maybe even visiting a friend, finally branching out instead of closing in.

He’d gotten a call just that morning, from his father, sitting in a hospital waiting room, but his neighbors didn’t know that. His father hadn’t bothered to call before the heart monitor attached to his mother’s slowly heaving chest came to a beeping halt. Tim wondered if he had purposefully been called after her death, because his dad was too ashamed of his own son to let her see him before she died. He concluded that he didn’t care what his father’s intentions were, or even that his mom was gone.

When he twisted the key in the ignition of his car, he told himself he just needed to drive around and cool off, that’s all. When he parked, he told himself that he had enough control to feel the atmosphere of the buzzing bar without feeling the sting of whiskey sliding down his throat.

But by the time he’d downed his third glass, he had nothing left to say to himself at all. He could taste the shame of his parents, of himself, and the chaser to the vodka.

The bar wasn’t far from Broken Wings. He told himself he could drive. He stopped along the way to pick up another few bottles at a dimly lit liquor store. He opened one of them sloppily as he swerved through the night air, not waiting until he got home to start to forget.

Tim couldn’t bring himself to look at the street sign that greeted him as he turned onto the gravel road. He wished he didn’t have to imagine the shame of Celia and Mike if they saw him the next day.

But somewhere, deep in the back of his fogged mind, Tim was aware that there was no tomorrow. At least, for him, anyway.

He pushed open the door, stumbling through the frame. After more poison entered his veins,  he couldn’t remember if it was a bottle or a window that lay broken on the floor. He didn’t want to remember anymore. He didn’t want to think at all.

 

#5, Broken Wings Way

It was Celia’s turn to drive Layla to school. Layla opened the front door slowly to find Celia holding out a cup, steam rising slowly from the top. Celia admitted that coffee would be bad for a growing girl like Layla, but it might help her for those tests she had today, and she’d just brewed a new type.

Layla smiled, and took the coffee from Celia’s hands. The two of them walked down the steps together, their feet moving in perfect unison.

Layla secretly loved when Celia was the one to drive her. Celia always shared stories from her past, never showing shame for the mistakes she had made.

It had been Celia’s idea, and that, of course made Layla feel more at home with her, as well. When Layla’s parents had driven away into the night, leaving their only daughter behind, Celia asked the neighbors not to call anyone, not yet.

Celia had been through the foster care process, and winced at the word “orphan.” She did not want sweet Layla — who left flowers on her neighbors’ doorsteps and sold lemonade by herself — to go through the same thing.

Mike had, of course, tried to convince Celia to at least call someone anonymously. But she had her ways, and no calls were made. By anyone.

Soon, all the neighbors were in on it; making Layla warm dinners, asking her to stay at their houses. Amelia even hired Layla to babysit her kids, although she had nowhere to go or money to pay, her broken-down car still rotting in the driveway.

They hadn’t wanted Layla to sleep in the house alone, but she argued that she was ten and her parents had left her by her lonesome before. So Celia and Mike waived the rent for her little studio, and organized a chart to share the duty of making her meals.

She hadn’t spoken about her parents before or since. Mike had tried to bring them up, but the blanket of sadness-cloaked-in-numbness that passed over her face told him that she wasn’t ready.

Layla never asked friends to come to her house, but she hadn’t before. She didn’t want to deal with her mother’s drunkenness and the needles spread across the coffee table like magazines. Instead she told her friends that she would rather meet up somewhere or maybe go to their houses. Now, she covered up the fact that nothing was there, no food in the refrigerator, no parents in the bedroom, no empty bottles rolling out from under couches. Nothing there to embarrass her, nothing there at all.

Cael wasn’t sure if he agreed with Celia’s approach. He was often tempted to call Protective Services, the police, someone. But his neighbors had agreed so swiftly and Layla had helped him paint once, so he stayed quiet, volunteering to drive her more than the others did.

They all had quiet reactions, just loud enough for others to hear when they noticed that the car had been gone for far longer than ever before. All of their own experiences and views combined to a mass of new shelterers. But no one could see what Layla was thinking, because although they all checked in on her, asked her how her day was going, she didn’t let anyone close enough to see.

Layla refused to miss them. How illogical it would be — and Layla was always one for logic — to miss the ones that she had wished away after years of hiding when they stumbled in after parties. But she did not want them gone. She did not want to be the one to cause community meetings or to need rides to school.  

Layla hadn’t even cried. Not when she found the bedroom empty and the car gone one morning when she woke up. Not when Celia told her that she could remain in the home at the far corner of the lot. Not even when she got a postcard from Miami, an ironic message of “Wish You Were Here” sprawled across a flowing, photoshopped sunset. With no words on the back.

And on that day, Layla did not want her neighbors to discover the x across her calendar. She was 12, as of just a few hours ago. Layla was quiet on the ride to school, not wanting to bring it up or let the date slip from her lips. And she thought to herself that she had kept the secret well.

Layla floated through the day as she normally did. Her mind was swinging on the tire that hung from house #3. Her fingers traced the crooked hem of the thrift store skirt she had worn, dressing nice for the special day, even if no one knew why.

As she stood outside, waiting for Celia and Mike to pick her up, she wondered if her parents regretted what “today” was, what she was. She told herself they wouldn’t even remember her birthday, much less be conscious enough to feel remorse — stifling the smoky ember of hope before it grew into a fire and her parents could drown it in their watery absence themselves.

Layla was quiet on the ride home, sitting in the back with her bag stuffed between her knees. She noticed a glimmer in Mike’s eye as he looked at her through the rearview mirror. The embers lit in her stomach, but this time it warmed her chilly bones, even as she told herself that Mike always had something to smirk about.

She did her homework as quickly as she could, not admitting that she wanted to make time for the dinner Cael had invited her to.

When she walked in, she found herself feigning surprise at the cheaply cut poster hanging from the window and the homemade cake on the table. She laughed as Amelia’s son asked if he could eat the whole cake.

She had fought back the emotions all night. Layla had been so numb for so long that she didn’t even know what to name the feeling spreading through her bloodstream, like how the alcohol probably spread in her mother’s. She had not expected cakes, or posters or the single card that Celia handed Layla before she left.

We’re so happy that it took this village to raise you, Layla read to herself as she closed the door behind her.

The tears on her cheeks, slipping through her eyes covered by hands, warmed her to spite the nip in the night air.

It took her village, her family to bring the tears that had fogged her vision for almost a year now. To mend the sore bone that kept her from flying, that kept them all from soaring. The quiet community off of Route 9, their refugee camp. Broken Wings Way.

The Show Must Go On

Shuffling through the streets of New York City, along with millions of other people, was Siobhan Greenberg, sporting her long white infinity scarf. Her black boots clanked noisily on the concrete and could even be heard over the honking cars and yelling people. Her long red hair blew majestically behind her, and her hands clutched the sides of her hat. She was only thirteen, but her mother thought it was important that she learned how to get around by herself.

Siobhan rushed along, periodically pushing people out of her way. She was late for rehearsal, and she knew the director, Sam, would bite her ear off. This drove Siobhan on, making her black boots click just a little faster.

Finally, she came across a large, looming building with pillars that rose up high above Siobhan’s head. She ducked and ran inside, dodging people coming out the revolving door around her. She walked swiftly across the  vast lobby, heading towards the rehearsal room, and she stopped at the doors, took a deep breath, and entered quietly.

All of the other actors were already standing around, listened to Sam speak.

“People, this show is in two months! I know that seems like a long time, but it is not! Not for a show! Everyone needs to be here for every rehearsal. If people miss anymore without telling I could take your part away! I have that authority!”

Siobhan slipped quietly into the crowd of her friends, moving her way until she found Yalfonsa. Yalfonsa was born one month too early, and her parents didn’t know what to call her. Her father was very into a science fiction show at the moment called “Yalfonsa’s Adventures,” so that’s what he named his daughter.

“Fonzie, what has Sam been saying?” Siobhan asked, trying to act normal and pretending she had been there all along.

“Nothing much, except the usual ‘I can take away your role!’” Fonzie said, leaning slightly towards Siobhan and wiggling her hands like Sam did. “It’s been a month. It’s way too far into rehearsals for her to take away anyone’s role.”

Siobhan nodded her head in agreement, shifting her gaze up to the stage. People in the art crew were sitting there, painting the scenery. The green paint was sitting in a row at the edge of the stage, and people were periodically standing up, dipping their paintbrush, and sitting back down to paint. Upstairs, behind them, the stage crew was looking through the script for lighting and sound cues.

Sam was still babbling, and she hadn’t noticed Siobhan was late.

Good! she thought. Maybe I won’t get in trouble!

When Sam was finished she surveyed the crowd of actors, and her eyes narrowed when she got to Siobhan. “Siobhan,” she said. “Come here, please.”

With a knot forming quickly in her stomach, Siobhan stepped forward and took a deep breath. Sam took her by the arm and dragged her away from the crowd.

“Siobhan, stop your panting. I didn’t call you over because you were late, which I know you were, by the way.” Sam said, brushing stray locks of brown hair behind her face. “It’s because Josh is missing.”

Sam pulled Siobhan even farther from the group. “Siobhan, I’m telling you because you play Belle. You are literally in every scene with him. That may seem unfair, telling you but not the others, but you are the one who would probably worry most, seeing that there are some scenes with only you and him. Everyone else is so worried about their part in other scenes that they probably won’t notice.” She looked Siobhan in the eye and whispered, “If anyone asks, please tell them that he is on vacation.”

Siobhan looked silently at Sam. What did she expect Siobhan to do? Lie to her friends? Josh played the Beast, but that wouldn’t mean that only Belle would see him missing. Nobody is that self-absorbed.

“Do his parents know where he is?” Siobhan asked, staring up at Sam. She shook her head sadly.

“No idea.”

Siobhan nodded her head vacantly, her eyes glossing over. She turned around and walked back to Fonzie, her head screaming with things to say.

Who would play the beast if Josh never showed up? Does Sam have an understudy for Josh? Where could he be? Where was the last time he was seen? Where did he go? Why did Sam only tell me?  Josh wouldn’t run away, that’s not his personality. So the scariest question of all is — who took him?

* * *

Rehearsal started as usual, with a short warm up. Sam spread everyone in a circle and reminded them, “A perfect circle is where everyone can see everyone’s face and people are evenly spaced!” Siobhan clung to Fonzie, words on the tip of her tongue. She wanted so badly to yell and scream about Josh. It was very unfair of Sam to inflict such a secret upon a child. She shouldn’t have told her at all! With her mouth sealed uncomfortably shut, Siobhan went through rehearsal, blocking scenes five and seven. Without Josh. The most infuriating thing was that Sam was right, nobody noticed he was gone but Siobhan.

Siobhan kept quiet. She had been waiting to do this play for too long to just ruin it. Sam had told her to keep quiet, and there was no reason that she shouldn’t.  

Two days later, on the day that they were studying their monologues, Siobhan noticed that Josh wasn’t the only one not there. The Enchantress, Bella, wasn’t there. Siobhan had become accustomed to her not being there during most rehearsals because she only appeared at the beginning of the show, but today was a day she was supposed to be there. Siobhan got up, disregarding that Monsieur D’arque was in the middle of his monologue, and she walked up to Sam. She looked at Siobhan, and she looked back at Monsieur D’arque, and she took Siobhan by the arm.

“Excuse us for a moment, Jared,” Sam said, walking towards the front of the stage.

“Siobhan, Bella has gone missing too. I don’t know what else to tell you, but with that look in your eye I can tell that you want to hear more.”

“Why won’t you tell the rest of the cast! Why am I the only one noticing!” Siobhan whispered, gesturing to Monsieur D’arque. Sam shook her head.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Siobhan. Don’t tell anyone and read your monologue!” Sam said with authority, and she started walking back to to her chair.

* * *

As each day went by, other people started disappearing. It seemed to be orderly and systematic, two people from the crew one day, two actors another, two people from art crew the next. And slowly Siobhan’s shell started to crack. She started checking behind her every time she left a room, and when she heard noises in the nighttime she would run and lock herself in the closet and wait there, shaking, until morning. Bags started forming under her eyes from no sleep, and she was still always very alert with fear. She called the parents of friends who had gone missing, but there was always something off with the way they talked.  They all didn’t seem particularly bothered with anything that was happening. She loved this play, though. She had been dreaming about being the lead in this play her entire life. There was no way she wouldn’t go to rehearsals.

A week later, when Siobhan was late to rehearsal again, she got on the stage for scene six. She was used to the fact that the Beast wouldn’t be there. The Cutlery was supposed to be there, though, and not a fork or spoon was there, and neither was Cogsworth &  Lumiere. Mrs. Potts wasn’t there, and neither was Chip or any Feather Duster. LeFou wasn’t there, Maurice wasn’t there, Philippe wasn’t there and Monsieur D’arque hadn’t been there since the day when he read his monologue. Nobody seemed to be there but Gaston, who was hiding behind the big black curtain, sliding his feet on the wooden floor because it wasn’t his scene. Sam seemed to notice too, and her eyes gleamed with worry, but she looked back to her script. “Siobhan!” she yelled. “Start the scene!”

“Sam, there’s nobody here,” Siobhan whispered, shuffling her feet. Sam gaped, as if surprised that she noticed, but she kept yelling.

“Then let’s do the scene with Gaston, alright. Scene two, everyone!” There was no reason to announce it to anyone. Only Belle, Gaston, the Wardrobe, and one member of the crew was there. Again, the scariest thing was that even after Siobhan had announced that nobody was there, only Fonzie realized that Siobhan was right. She played the wardrobe, and it was like she was knocked out of a trance. Ignoring Sam’s screaming, Fonzie ran to Siobhan and grasped her hand. She looked into her eyes, clearly just as surprised as Siobhan had been when she realized nobody but Sam and Herself had notice people leaving.

“Siobhan,” Fonzie gasped. “I don’t know why I haven’t noticed before. Everyone’s gone!”

“Fonzie, I know.” Siobhan said, a hint of irritation in her voice. How in the world had she not noticed? Practically no one was there! If they were to put on Beauty and the Beast now, seven eighths of the cast wouldn’t be there! Probably more! Both girls went home that day feeling sick to their stomachs.

* * *

The worst thing happened the next day. Absolutely no one was there except Fonzie and Siobhan, not even Sam. The girls sat at the edge of the stage, trembling and holding each other’s hands. The room seemed to feel colder, and just a little bit darker. The eggshell colored paint looked as if it was peeling off the ceiling and the room smelled of nothing but spiders and cobwebs. They didn’t dare say a thing. They were sure something would come out and grab them, or jump scare them like Five Nights at Freddy’s. Maybe this was all a prank, and maybe the cast was just playing a trick on them, but why would the director, who spent so long everyday lecturing them on how they had no time, waste even a second pulling a stupid prank?

“Siobhan, we should go home. Why should we even be here? The entire cast is gone, even Sam. What use is it to be here?” Fonzie murmermed. Siobhan looked her in the eye and sighed.

“I have been waiting way too long for this. We have to go to rehearsal.”

They started to rehearse. There wasn’t much they could do, but Fonzie put on her costume and so did Siobhan. They tried a scene they were in together, but it was practically no use.

“I’ve gotten no sleep in the past week, Fonzie. My head’s killing me and I’m not sure why this place isn’t shut down yet, but I am sure of something. Whatever that’s taken the entire cast and crew is coming for us next, even if we don’t come to rehearsal. It took Bella when she was sick at home, and I know because I called her when she was sick. The next day, when she wasn’t at rehearsal, I called her. Her mother said she was missing. But do you want to know the even creepier part? Her mother didn’t seem to care. She told me her daughter was missing with a lilt in her voice, and I could sense even through the phone that she was SMILING! Smiling! Who else could make a mother smile about her missing daughter then some sort of monster!” Siobhan yelled, her arms flailing in the air and her voice shrill. Fonzie reeled back, crawling onto her hands and knees. Siobhan sighed and sat down next to her.

“I’m sorry I yelled, but we can’t stay here,” Siobhan said. “If we do, even if we don’t go to rehearsal, something will still get us. The only reason I’m still here is because I love this play. If we leave, we could do this play in some other place”

“Where would we go?” Fonzie whispered, sitting back on the edge of the stage.

“I don’t know,” Siobhan whispered back, scared something in the wall was listening. “Some other country, maybe just another state. If we stay here, that thing is sure to get us.”

“Siobhan, you know I can’t leave. I’ve got family here, and Joey is going to that special school he’s been waiting to go to next year…”

“Fonzie, are you even listening to me? If we stay here that thing will get us! I don’t know how to make it any clearer!”

Fonzie gulped, tracing her fingers on the floor, and Siobhan knew her decision.

“Alright,” Siobhan said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pulled Fonzie into a hug.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Fonzie replied, throwing her bag on her shoulder. Siobhan knew she couldn’t leave either. Fonzie was her best friend, and she couldn’t leave without convincing her to go.

* * *

The next day Siobhan sat alone on the edge of the stage by herself. The paint was still peeling, and a sort of hum seemed to be emitting off the stage. Fonzie wasn’t there, Sam wasn’t there, Josh wasn’t there, and neither was anyone else.  She sat with her hands clutching her script, saying the lines quickly with her eyes closed, almost like she was saying a prayer, when the lights shut off and the room went silent.

 

My Brother’s Shadow

My brother’s shadow was a marshmallow’s toasty crisps of goo. It was the cozy convenience of “younger brother,” the smaller footprints my cleats left in the soil. Sitting on his shoulders as he galloped down the sidewalk, unnoticed as folks whistled at him from all corners of the universe. Alone in the bleachers, but still feeling satisfied because when his muscular body hurdled down the basketball court, I told myself I could never please our parents the way he did. Outgrown t-shirts and underappreciated teddy bears always found their way into my arms because outgrown love was fresh when it wore my brother’s blueberry scent. A constant conversion factor loomed, in which his layups equaled my full-court shots, and despite my efforts, I could never achieve anything applause-worthy.

Suddenly, with the crinkling of the leaves and the fading sound of the basketball bouncing into oblivion, he was gone. With his absence came the lengthening of his shadow as the crowd gradually dissipated. His shadow became the hulking space in the bleacher seats, the empty loneliness which swallowed me whole. The grief was significantly more potent when there was no one to be compared to, when the would-be hand-me downs remained locked in his closet out of respect. Because when a shadow is left by itself there is no light to counteract its misguided ways, and it’s eternally fixed in a darkened spotlight. His shadow morphed into the clumpy, death-black cigarette tar with that distinct, sticky consistency, a texture I knew quite well from my quiet evenings in its seductive company. That inherited teddy bear, accidentally left in a moldy cooler, was submerged under layers of irregular ice cubes. And I can’t help but wonder if a shadow can ever escape itself, or if it’s confined to its own pitiable existence.

 

Netherlandia (Excerpt)

Chapter One

The smell of tulips wafted through the air of Zuid-Holland. Hedgerows sat in orderly lines around the windmill. The gardener lazily poured water into a funnel. The water sloshed down through a series of pipes, and erupted out of a complex sprinkler system, watering the whole flower bed evenly. The water kept raining down for a couple more seconds before stopping. The gardener paused to admire her handywork before easing herself down onto a bench whose faded paint was beginning to peel away. Suddenly the hedge around the garden started to quiver. The gardener muttered to herself about a trouble making “wasbeer” that had plagued the garden recently. But, before she could reach the hedge, a whistling sound that screeched across the plains burst forth from the orderly shrubbery. Unfortunately she knew what that meant. That was the sound of a Stoompistool ready to fire. She scrambled backwards, trying to warn the chemist that toiled away inside the windmill. But it was too late. Steam rushed from the sprinklers, it felt like it was turning the air to fire. And still the whistling screamed on, now mingled with the screams of the gardener as the burning steam touched her skin. Gray figures stepped out from the hedges. They wore baggy rubber suits to protect against the steam. Strapped on their backs were huge water tanks that fed their Stoompistools. The gardener crawled away from them, her face flushed and boiling like a lobster. All the beautiful tulips around her were withering in the steam’s heat, turning from their previous pastel splendor to charred twigs. The gray figures marched past her – there had to be dozens of them! She noticed that they all sported badges shaped in five-pointed-stars. Each of the star’s points contained a single, glaring eye. The people entered the wind-mill, slamming the door behind them.

Once inside they removed their face-masks. The steam couldn’t harm them in here, and it would disperse in a few moments anyway. In the center of the mill was a chugging, many-geared, wind-powered machine that fueled the various scientific instruments that were placed around the room. Glass tubes, beakers, and jars of mysterious chemicals bubbled in most of them. A staircase wound around the mill’s main gear-shaft. There, on the stairs, stood Petrus Jacobus Kipp. He looked to be in his thirties, with red-brown hair, placed in a messy comb-over. He wore a ruffled suit decorated with a cravat. He had obviously come downstairs to see what the commotion was, he had certainly not expected this.

“Jeetje.” He pouted.

“Kipp!” called the one in front, a mustachioed, dark-skinned man, his hair ruffled from being inside the face-mask. “Hand over the inrichting!”

A chuckle escaped Kipp’s lips, though his face still read nervousness. “Is that what you want? I can’t see why. Unless you want to prepare small volumes of gases.” He looked thoughtful. “Do you?”

“It is of no matter,” the leader growled. “Give it up.” He held out his hand, behind him the others readied their Stoompistools. The scientist backed up slowly, back up the stairs. He only made it a few more steps before he broke the charade and ran. Steam rushed from the Stoompistools in small controlled bursts, totally unlike the screaming cloud in the garden. But the chemist was surprisingly agile, he dodged the worst of the blast, escaping through a hatch in the ceiling.

The leader nodded, signaling for the rest of his troops to follow up the stairs. They reached the hatch without any difficulty. The room they entered was obviously Kipp’s study. Bookshelves lined three walls, the other was made entirely out of glass, which gave an excellent view of the windmill’s giant blades, swooping in and out of sight. Like the story below, this room had a gear-shaft sprouting from the center like an ever-turning wooden pillar. Facing the glass wall was a hard wood desk. Kipp crouched behind the desk, quivering. He now held a Stoompistool of his own, a small, glass model, possibly his own invention. It was a strange one, heated, not by fire, but by a magnifying glass attached to one side. Unfortunately for the chemist, only a few rays of sunlight filtered through the fog of steam that drifted around the windmill.

“Kipp!” shouted the leader. “We don’t want to have to hurt you, so come out from behind the desk and give us your apparatus!”

“Or w-what?” Kipp said, his voice shaky.

“We smoke you out!” The leader said, raising his hand, which now held a handkerchief, embroidered with the same five-pointed star he sported on his badge. Everyone in the room knew that if he dropped it, the steam guns would fire, drowning the desk and the scientist underneath it in a blanket of pain. However, he wouldn’t have to drop it if Kipp came out now. But apparently, Kipp had enough solar power for one good steam-blast. He pulled the trigger and the leader got a face full of boiling steam. While they were stunned he leapt over the desk, trying to escape. But the dark-skinned man wasn’t as fazed as he appeared. He grabbed Kipp and forced him up against the glass wall with so much strength that fracture lines appeared on it. Through the window the leader could see that the steam was dispersing.

“Where… Is… The… Inrichting?” with every word he pounded Kipp farther into the window, causing the cracks to spread farther over the wall.

“I don’t have it,” the chemist groaned, his voice hoarse. “It’s not here; it’s on it’s way to Delft for a patent.”

The leader dropped Kipp to the ground. They walked toward the door, two or three walked backwards so they could fill the room with steam as they left.

The Night Manager

We get a lot of strange folks up here, but nothing like her.

Pleased to meet you. I’m Art Walker, and I’m the night manager here at The Royal Suites hotel. Don’t let the name fool you, there is nothing royal at all about this place. It’s really run down, plus it’s in the middle of nowhere. We have a staff of one day manager, one night manager, one cook, and one housekeeper. And one boss, of course. We have about 100 rooms, but usually we only manage to fill about half. It’s not exactly my (or anyone else’s) dream job, but it pays the bills well enough. And like I said, we get a lot of strange folks up here. She was the strangest of them all.

As cliche as it sounds, it was a dark and stormy night. It was mid-October, and the wind was howling something fierce. She practically stumbled in, and her appearance suggested that she had been walking for many miles in the storm. She wore a flimsy yellow raincoat, and was dragging a black suitcase behind her. She flicked her wet hair out of her eyes, then walked over to my desk.

“How much for a room?” she asked me.

“Fifty bucks,” I said.

“That’s not too bad.”

“Yeah, well, you aren’t paying for much.”

She laughed a little. “You’re a funny guy. What are you doing in a dump like this?”

“Speak for yourself, lady.”

She laughed again. “Touche.”

I handed her the room key. Most hotels nowadays had key cards, but The Royal Suites, in all its quaintness, had never made the switch. “You’re in room 27 on the second floor,” I told her. “Don’t use the soap. It gives people rashes.”

“Good to know,” she said, and without another word, she swept out of the lobby. I could hear her boots all the way up the dingy staircase, and, not for the last time, I wondered what brought her here.

***

At around 9 o’clock the following night, I saw her leave the building. When she came back an hour later, she was holding two bottles of cheap wine. “Here.” She passed one to me across the desk. “Drink.”

“I can’t drink on the job,” I told her.

“Come on, how many people are there even in this hotel, ten?”

“Twelve.” It was a particularly slow week.

“Right. Drink up.”

“Can you at least tell me your name?”

She paused for a second. “Philomena.”

I unscrewed the cap and took a sip. To tell the truth, I don’t like wine too much. It burns going down my throat. I pulled out the chair next to me behind the desk, and she jumped over the desk and sat down with surprising agility.

“Wow,” I said. “How’d you do that?”

She grinned and said, “Magic.” Then she raised the bottle to her lips, and took a huge gulp of the stuff, and when she swallowed, a trickle of it ran down her chin. She wiped it away with her sleeve. Then she took another gulp.

She carried on in this fashion until half of the bottle was gone. Then she turned to me and asked, “What am I doing here?”

“You tell me,” I said. I hadn’t had that much to drink.

“I mean, I should be on top of the world. I can do things no one else can do, I’m one of the most powerful people in the world, and where am I?” She made a noise in between a laugh and a sob. “Nowhere, USA, drinking away my sorrows.”

“I’m sorry,” I told her. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I felt sorry for her. She sounded so profoundly sad.

“Don’t be,” she told me. “You’re not part of this. You just got caught in the crossfire.”

“Okay,” I said, and she resumed sucking the life out of her bottle. I took another cautious sip.

 

Without warning, another person busted into the hotel. A rather tall man stood in the lobby, with a long, billowing coat and prematurely gray hair. I hastily hid my bottle, but his eyes didn’t even turn to me. They were fixated on her.

“Philomena,” he spoke her name as if it were something rancid on his tongue. “Still living in the gutter, I see.”

“Marcus,” she spat his name out equally hatefully. “Still going places you have no business being.”

“Oh, come off it, sweetie. You’re dying here. Your whole operation’s dying. You’ll never bring back the old ways. It’s time you just accept it.”

Philomena stood up. “Don’t you dare call me that.”

He grinned. “Or what? What are you going to do?”

“This.”

She snapped her fingers, and, as if by some invisible force, Marcus was thrown across the room, and hit the wall. He winced in pain, but his eyes still held a malicious glint.

“You can perform all the party tricks you want, sweetie. Still won’t matter. The Crucible will still come for you.”

She slammed him against the wall again. “Or how about you just tell me where The Crucible is so I can find it and destroy it?”

He laughed. “Even if I knew where it was, I’d go to my grave before I told you.” He started to pick himself up.

“I’ll see myself out,” he said. “Have fun drinking away your sorrows with your pal here.” He swept out the door.

“Ugh,” said Philomena. She took another sip of her wine.

I looked at her, questions bubbling in my mind. The first that came out was, “ Who was that guy?”

“Just a grunt,” she said. “Nothing more. Probably sent to see how much of my power I still retain. I’m proud to say they haven’t drained me of all of it yet.”

“How’d you do that?” I asked her. “How’d you slam him against the wall like that?”

“Magic,” she said.

“Okay,” I said, trying to wrap my head around the concept.

“I better get going,” she said. “Now that they know for sure I’m here, there’ll be more.” She grabbed her bottle of wine, and waved her hand in front of my face.

I blinked, confused. “What was that?” She looked at her hand. Then she waved it in front of my face again. “What are you doing? Stop,” I said.

She stomped her foot, almost like a petulant toddler.

“Goddamned Crucible – can’t even do a memory wipe. Ah well. Just try to repress what happened tonight,” she said. “You people are pretty good at that.” She started walking away.

“Were you trying to wipe my memory?” I called after her.

“Don’t take it personally,” she called back.

She was gone the next night when I came back to work. When I asked the day manager about her he said she had left at about 7:30 in the morning. I don’t know where she is now, or really anything. I’m just a night manager, who got caught in the crossfire.

Summer of 2000

Day One

Dear Diary,                                                                                                 

It’s my first day at sleepaway camp, and I really don’t want to go because I know at the end of the first day, all my stuff is going to go missing. My roommates are going to be slobs, and their stuff will be everywhere. This is going to be the most annoying summer ever and I’m really going to dread this. I can’t believe my mom is making me go to this. All my mom can talk about is how I’m going to be more independent, how I’m getting out the house, how my brothers and sisters won’t be there to annoy me, and how I can make new friends. I DON’T WANT TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS!

Okay, I’m calm now. It’s just that my parents are always annoying me about how I’m not a normal teenager and just do me. But guess what guys, that is fine because everyone is different and personally my life is perfect just the way it is.

ANYWAY, BACK TO THIS DREADFUL SUMMER CAMP.

I’m on my way now in the car. It’s upstate New York, which is pretty far from my home, so I can’t just run away. To be honest, I can try to enjoy this camp if they just give me my own room and I won’t have to worry about a whole lot of problems. Like, instead of worrying about people taking my PERSONAL stuff, I can worry about friends, nasty camp food, you know the normal things kids worry about.

I told my mom about my great idea about getting my own room and guess what she said, Diary? She said, “No.” Can you believe it? And you know what her reasoning was? You’re going to get a kick out of this. She thought having to share a room would help me socialize better. It’s messed up. I guess I have to go back to the drawing board and create a better plan because this one didn’t work.

Maybe I could pretend to be sick! No that wouldn’t work because once I “get better,” they would send me right back to that horrible place. Well that’s it for now I guess. My mom isn’t going to buy any of this. Goodbye world, I’m pulling up to this dreadful camp now. All these people talking too. “Alex this,” and, “Alex that.”

“Oh, Alex, good news! Your bunk-mates already checked in.”

No, is all I’m thinking. I am so not ready for this. My bunk-mates? I thought I was only having one! Ugh! Bye, Diary, I have to go now. I’m going to a hotel with my mom for the first night (Thank god!)  because I’m ”sick,” but tomorrow is another day of trying, so wish me luck.

 

Day Two

Dear Diary,                                                                                  

Watch this. This is going to get me out of this and my mom is going to fall for it.

Alex: Mom, I don’t want to go.

Mom: Sweetie I know you’re scared but you have to try new things.

Alex: I’m not scared of anything! I actually don’t feel good and if you don’t take me to the doctor, I’ll die!

Mom: Well, we know you’re not going to die, and if you’re not scared, why are you trying to get out of camp?

Alex: Camp is for immature children, Mother. I should be spending my summer getting a job and becoming a responsible kid.

Mom: If you can’t even be responsible enough to go to summer camp for a few weeks, how can you get a job?

Alex: You don’t have to be responsible to go to summer camp. I’m responsible to get a job.

Mom: Let’s get real, Alex. You don’t do anything at home, but sit in your room and do nothing all day. It’s not healthy. You should be outside playing with friends. That’s what kids do.

Alex: But mom! Having friends is stupid. I don’t need friends, and the outside is yucky. Why would I need to have friends and go outside when my room is awesome?

Mom: Everyone needs friends. You know, I met your godmother, Sandra, when I went to summer camp, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life. You’re going to love it, I promise. Hopefully soon you can find a best friend there and when you have a kid she can become your kid’s godmother!

Alex: Not everyone is like you. How many times do I have to tell you summer camp is not for meeeeee?

Mom: I’ll make you a deal. If you stop complaining and really try to make it work for 24 hours, and you still want to leave, I’ll come pick you up. But you can’t lie and just say it sucks. I really want you to try, Alex. Trust and believe I am one step ahead of you, so I will know if you are not trying.

Alex: Fine, but I won’t enjoy it at all.  

I did it! I thought of another plan. I actually persuaded the “grand master” (Mom) to stay with me. Well, until it backfired.

Oh well, I have a great plan to escape and I planned it excellently. It’s going to work, so as soon as my mom leaves that night, I’m going to escape through the forest. It’s not that big. When we drove to the camp, we drove through the forest on the road and I saw on the other side was a bus stop. I can get on and give a good explanation to the bus driver as to why I’m only 13 and taking a bus. Oh well, I can lie better under pressure.

Anyway, all I need to bring is my diary, my phone, water and food in my backpack. I can always get new clothes. I can’t escape camp by bringing my big suitcase. They would notice, and it would prevent me from moving fast.

***

I’m out of my room. My roommates kept asking me where I was going, but of course I ignored them. So I’m out. I made it. This is what happens when you don’t interact with anyone. You can easily escape because no one pays attention to you.

Okay, bye, Diary, I’m going to start writing on my iPad Mini. I brought that for navigation because I can’t risk losing my phone out here in the forest even though I’m not scared of anything.

***

So I’m walking. It’s pretty dark, and I’m not exactly sure of where I am. I’m pretty sure I’m lost, but I see this nice house. It’s night, so I go in. It’s quiet in here, so I guess no one is here. As soon as I’m in the shower I hear the sound of creaking floorboard and people whispering, “Alex.” I’m not really scared. It’s probably the wind.

As soon as I step out of the shower, something grabs me around my neck, covers my mouth and whispers, “Oh, such a pretty girl. What are you doing in the forest at night? You know that’s dangerous right? I suggest you leave tonight, and never come back.”

Of course I think its my older brother pranking me somehow, but you know how I am. I decide not to listen to the person who attacked me and I stay in the house like the BRAVE person I am. But tomorrow morning, I’m going to suck it up and go back to camp, because I definitely don’t want to die, and creepy person, if you are still there, I’m not leaving because I’m scared. I’m leaving because I’m scared I’ll get in trouble with my mom. If she finds out I broke the deal I will NEVER hear the end of it.

 

Day Three

Dear Diary,                                                                                      

So I’m back on campgrounds and it totally sucks. Everyone is cheery and sitting around talking to each other, painting nails, braiding each other’s hair, or in the lake together. I’m sitting here and taking in this madness and out of nowhere someone taps my shoulder.  I hear an over exaggeratedly voice say, “Hiya kid, what a happy camper you look like. Do you know what bunk you are in? Did you check in yet?” Of course I just rudely brush her off. In my head, I’m just thinking this HAPPY staff member is over excited and reminds me of my little sister. Bright colored shirt, untied shoes, bracelets up and down the whole arm, with a high ponytail to top it.  She just looks crazy. But of course, the HAPPY staff member she is, she continues to follow me so I give in and I tell her, “Hey, HAPPY staff member. I’m Alex. I don’t know what cabin I’m in and I just got here soon…”

“Well, sweetie that’s fine. Lemme help you out. Let me find my handy roster, and see if I can find you. Mhmh Alex Jones?”

“Yup.”

“Well, honey, you are in cabin 12 and both of your cabin members have already checked in.”

“Yay… That is awesome. Thank you HAPPY staff member.”

So I go to the cabin and it’s big and nice. The ceilings are high, the walls are clean and painted blue. To be honest, it’s way better than that creepy house. I’m really starting to think my mother was right about me liking this camp. I yell out hello, but no one answers. Thank god they are not here. Some alone time, I’ll write tomorrow, bye.

 

Day Four

Dear Diary,                                                                                           

I did it! 24 hours! I can finally leave! I can’t wait to text my mom and tell her to get me. I followed all her rules. I tried to participate and everything, but where was she when we made the bet? She said she would pick me up first thing in the morning, and it’s already two. I have been stuck in my bunk room because it’s “BONDING DAY” with your bunks-mates. YAY! Not. So I’m just sitting on my bunk with my phone and then one of my bunk-mates, Ruby, or Kelly, comes up. I honestly don’t remember who, and I could really care less. Anyways, she asks if I want to paint nails with them, and I put on my cheesiest smile and say, “Sure, I’d love to.” I was going to say her name, but I honestly forgot it. Oops my bad. So we are sitting there and the one with the blond hair says, “What color do you want?”

I say over-exaggeratedly, “Glitter pink.”

The one with the red hair says, “OMG! I was so going to use that color! Now we can be twins, YAY!”

On that note, I snatch my hand away and mutter, “Never mind,” and go back to my bunk.

Both of my bunk-mates come running after me and sit on my bed asking, “What’s wrong?”

I yell at them, “Get out of my bunk!”

They jump up and say, “Sheesh. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.” As they left I mutter a few choice words to myself. Im sitting here and I just realize my mom isn’t coming to pick me up. She definitely didn’t keep her part of the deal. I’m so upset. I scream into my pillow and throw it at the wall. I guess I really have to rough it out here for a few weeks, but I will come up with a new plan soon enough. Deep down I had a feeling that my mom wasn’t really going to pick me up after all, and she set me so to be honest I’m not that disappointed. But I’ll just keep that in mind next time mom wants to make a deal with me.

***

Kelly: Hey, Grumpy! Are you ok now?

Alex: Yeah, I guess this is hard for me to do, but I am sssssorry. I didn’t mean to be such a you-know-what. I just got really annoyed by your sunshine and rainbow attitude. I had to take a break, so I guess I’m going to have to get used to this place now and actually try.

Kelly: Well to be honest, I didn’t like this place at first either. Hannah, not exactly my first choice as a roommate, but the days you weren’t here I got used to Hannah. I know she can be extra excited, but you just have to give it a try.

Alex: Ugh, BITE me. This place sucks so much, I can’t.  

Kelly: Well, lunch is coming up next and you can sit with me. So far the only friend is Hannah, and I’m pretty sure she only thinks of me as her bunk-mate.

Alex: Alright, thanks. (I don’t want to admit it, but I’m actually starting to like this place, and I think Kelly is cool.)

Kelly: Come on, girl.  

She grabbed my hand then winked at me. I think I have a new friend, but I wonder what to do about Hannah. I’m not so sure I can take her energy. The level of energy she gives out is just so overwhelming that I wish she could take it down a few notches. Like, I just don’t understand how she wakes up like she’s on cloud nine. I think she lives off of rainbows and unicorns. Ok, I’m done being mean I have to try because I know I am going to be stuck here for a while. Um. Did Kelly just wink at me? My heart is racing. What is going on? Whatever, let’s just go get lunch. Will write when I get back from lunch. Thank god my mom didn’t come to pick me up, I guess.

 

Day Five

Dear Diary,                                                                                                

Ok, it’s hard to admit, but today was pretty cool. I continued to hang out with Kelly, and we did a lot things together. We went on a hiking trip, we did horseback riding, and we went kayaking. I’m so wiped out. I took a shower and I’m lying down. I’m just thinking honestly, why did I put up such a fight to come? It’s not that bad, and I am away from my annoying family. I think I didn’t want to come because I didn’t want my mom to win. She always gets the last word and she always ends up right. So I just wanted to show her that I won’t enjoy this and why she’d send me here, but it SERIOUSLY backfired because I’m really enjoying my time here. Well, tomorrow  Kelly and I are going to the campfire to make s’mores and get to know each other better. I can’t wait! Write tomorrow.

 

Day Six

Dear Diary,                                                                                             

Kelly: Come on, Alex! It’s time to go! Hurry up put your shoes on.

Alex: I’m coming hold on.

Hannah: Where are you guys going? (I can’t believe Kelly is talking to her. Ugh, omg, she is so rude, I can’t stand that girl.)

Kelly: We’re going to the campfire. Do you want to come with us? (I know Hannah is going to say no, but it’s worth a try to ask because I really like Alex, but if Hannah doesn’t want to come  that is fine with me.)

Hannah: Nope. I am fine right here.

All don’t know why Kelly would invite her. Thank god she said no. It would’ve been awkward if she said yes.)

Kelly: Okay, come on, Alex, let’s go.  

We go outside. Kelly turns towards me and whispers:

Kelly: Sorry about that.

I don’t bother with whispering.

Alex: It’s fine. So what did you want to talk about?

Kelly: Why do you always try to put up walls when people try to be your friend? Why do you always put people down?

“I DON’T KNOW,” I yell. I silently take it back and apologize. “When I was in eighth grade, I had this best friend named Cara. Or at least I thought she was my best friend. We were so close. We told each other everything, and then on day she approached me and said she never really liked me and she was using me because my mom gave her stuff when we would hang out. She told she only went over to my house to see my older brother. I was so upset that day that I vowed to never have friends anymore. So I built up a wall and promised myself to never let anyone in. That’s why when you guys tried to talk to me that day I just blew. I just… I don’t know, I’m really sorry for that conflict. That was not the real me. I promise you I am really a nice person.”

Wow, Diary, I can’t believe I just opened up to Kelly like that. I was not expecting that to slip out. My face feels wet. Is it raining? Nope, I’m crying. Just great.

Kelly: (Wow, I didn’t know there was another side of Alex. I just thought she was a regular girl with a bad attitude, but now I know that she has pain too. Oh no she’s crying! She needs a hug.)

Alex: (Kelly is hugging me right now. Okay, um, this awkward. I’m going to stop crying now, I don’t like being touched) Okay, enough about me. Let me hear about your life.

Kelly: Well, I live with my aunt in Oakland.

Alex: Oh, thats cool. I live in San Diego, but uh, why do you live with your aunt?

Kelly hesitates. Why is she hesitating?

Kelly: (Should I tell her? I feel like if I tell her, she is going to get weirded out, and not talk me anymore. I don’t want to lose my only friend here.)

I watch her face drop and I feel that I should take back my question, but I feel like if something is up, I want to help her, just like she helped me. I have a little feeling her problem is deeper because her whole mood just changed.

Alex: Sorry. I take that back, you don’t have to answer anymore. I’m sorry if my question upset you.

Kelly: No, it’s cool. Like, I want to answer your question, but I’m nervous that if I tell you, you’re going to freak out. 

Alex: I promise I won’t. Well, I’ll try my hardest.

I listen to Kelly and I stick to my promise.

 

Day Seven

Dear Diary,                                                                                             

That campfire conversation was very deep. Kelly and I got a lot off our chests. We talked so much and I can’t really tell you what happened or what she said because we promised each other. I just made a friend. I can’t just do that. I would want her to keep my secrets, so sorry, but our bond lead us to be SS4L( Summer Sisters 4 Life). Okay, I’ll write later. I’m just glad I made a friend I can trust. I guess I’m going to have to admit to my mom that this place is actually good for me and I have learned a lot. It helped me make a friend I can trust and share feelings with. I can’t believe I actually made a friend. I think this will make my mom happy. I think I will be ready to admit to her that this place was good for me and that I made a friend. That next time she suggest a camp, I will give it an honest chance and not put up a fight, promise. Will write later, bye.

 

Day Eight

Dear Diary,                                                                                                  

Hannah: Alex, we need to talk.

Alex: Wow, no hi? Okay sure, let’s talk.

Hannah: What is your plan with Kelly?

Alex: What do you mean? Kelly is my friend.

Hannah: Yeah, okay, sure. You can’t just string her along because… she probably hasn’t told you any of her business so never mind.

Alex: Actually, I know everything. She told me and I’m not stringing her along. I don’t know what you are talking about. She is my friend and I care about her. You are confusing me. What are you talking about?

Hannah: Oh, you’re not… I’m so sorry. Forget it.

Alex: Gay. You know you can say it, and no, I’m not. Hannah, I should be apologizing. I didn’t mean to take your friend away. She just really showed me how to understand friendships, and that I don’t always have to build a wall and keep people out from being my friend. I’m sorry for talking to you like that, it was not fair of me to do. I was hoping, maybe, I could try being your friend again.

Hannah: Um, okay, fine. It’s okay with me. Maybe we could go to the ice cream shack and then go horseback riding. I mean, I guess I did come on a little strong to be your friend. You seemed pretty cool, so I just wanted to try, but now I know to not do that.

Wow, today was a successful day. I made friends with both my bunk-mates. Hannah and I had a nice conversation. She is actually cool when you get to know her. She really doesn’t have a lot of energy when you actually hang out with her. Well on that note, this summer camp was pretty successful. I learned new things, have new hobbies, and I made new friends. I’ll write later. Today is the last day. My mom is picking me up tomorrow, but tonight is a bonfire.

 

Day Nine

Dear Diary,                                                                                          

Alex: (Wow, that was tough, saying bye to my friends and all, but I had to.) Wow, Mom, did you get lost on your way here when you were supposed to come pick me up after 24 hours, or did you just decide not to come?

Mom: Well sweetie, I was coming to pick you up, but you know, I got lost, so I just turned around and came back home. Either way that doesn’t matter because you made FRIENDS! Friends, Alex. I’m so proud of you.  

Alex: Mom, sorry for doubting you. I really enjoyed myself, but it took some time. It didn’t happen right away. But after a while, I started to enjoy it, and my bunk-mates helped me enjoy it to.

Mom: Well that’s all that matters, Alex. I’m proud of you. You didn’t enjoy it at first, but you stuck with it and then started to enjoy it.

Well that was my interesting summer, and that’s how it went. I’ll write later, bye.

Ansel

A newspaper, cast carelessly on the ground, sang a tune of despair. It hummed in A minor, sang in subdominant and dominant chords, but always led back to the tonic.

Car Crash in New Hemingway – 2 Dead, 3 Wounded.

The tragedy of May 12, 2002 will forever be remembered by all of us. Claire and Stephen Larkin, aged 35 and 36, as well as their two sons, Enoch and Ansel, aged 4 and 7, were the victims of a drunk driving incident. The driver, Maxwell Gregerson, was driving a red flatbed truck and is currently in critical care. He was allegedly involved in a hit-and-run five minutes prior, but no hard evidence points to this.

Hemingway Police reports that Claire Larkin, the driver, was killed on impact. Stephen and his children were all sitting in the back. The cane Stephen needed after a leg injury he sustained during his time served in the military, pierced Ansel’s upper thigh, and he died from blood loss shortly after. It is unclear as to how Enoch received the number of bruises he did, as the only injury he should have sustained was a broken wrist. Nevertheless, he sustained heavy bruising on his left side. He was conscious when paramedics arrived, and kept asking for his brother.

The rest of the newspaper was torn off, crumpled. It was clenched in Stephen’s hand, who sat against the back of the wooden door. He had drawn up his knees to his chest, and his chest was shuddering. Huge wracking sobs had seized his upper body.

He had to pull himself together. Enoch was coming home in a few minutes. He gripped the new wooden cane the hospital had given him, and heaved himself off the floor. He limped his way over to the bathroom, and stared at the blotchy face that trembled in the mirror. He turned the tap on and allowed cold water to overflow out of his cupped palms for a few minutes.

After washing his face, he pulled out a packet of macaroni and cheese for Enoch. It was his favorite.

And Ansel’s.

He had just poured the cheese powder into the broth of hot milk and noodles when the doorbell rang three times in quick succession. Enoch. He made his way to the door, glad to have a son but dreading the questions to come.

Enoch bounded into the house and straight into his father’s waiting arms. They embraced for a long time, not speaking anything for several minutes. Finally, Enoch piped up. “Hey, Daddy? Where’s Ansel?”

Stephen let loose a small sigh. “Wherever you’d like him to be, Enoch. Always.”

***

Cold, soothing rain streams down the sides of the little glass hummingbird. The pale blue wings are streaked with tiny rivulets of the ocean.

“There was just so much traveling involved, you know? For these itsy-bitsy little drops to clump. Hey, I bet they come from different places. Just like us, Ansel. Some of them mighta started out in the ocean, and then others were ice on top of the biggest iceberg you can imagine. But now they’re all together. Forced into one. D’you think they care about it very much? Maybe some of them came from the water kings, and you have water princesses and water barons and water scholars. But then you have water peasants and water farmers. Maybe the water nobles don’t care. Maybe they do. Hey, Ansel, what’d you think? Ansel?”

***

Enoch sits down on the the poorly painted steps inscribed with chalk. The air smells like woodsmoke, and he wears a puffy jacket that makes him feel like a marshmallow.

“Maybe the blue blocks shouldn’t have to only fit on the greenies. Miss Hamel says you can’t twist the blocks so that they just fit onto the red blocks. It’s not fair, Ansel. It’s also not fair that only the girls get to play house. Ansel, what makes the girls better than us? I bet it’s because they get to wear those little braids. The braids must be their secret sign that they’re royalty. I bet they’re secretly queens that run around and… and…

“But being a boy is fun too. You don’t have to wear skirts. I guess. I wonder how they feel. Hey, Ansel, do you think that Daddy will let us try on skirts? He’d probably say no.”

***

Enoch’s doing addition problems outside now, catching onto the problems easily. He’s not the best, but he’s ahead of the curve by a dash. The air is warm and humid, curling his hair.

“I like math. It’s all the same. I bet it’s the same everywhere, and even aliens do the same math we do. Math is dependable. It’s always there. Apparently, without math, you couldn’t have cakes or birthdays or comfy beds or trampolines! That’s awful. Ansel, not everyone likes math. Sometimes they look at me funny. I tell them that they need math, but they don’t agree. Am I weird? Maybe I’m an alien. I think they do the same math as us.

“Hey Ansel, what if you could do math with more than numbers? I mean, I know that you can add oranges and buttons and stuffed animals, but those have numbers. What if you could add letters to get a ‘superletter?’ Maybe that’s what ‘w’ secretly is. Or if you added time, instead of getting more time, you actually jumped ahead in time. You added two minutes to two minutes, and then you’re automatically four minutes into the future. Or, if you do the subtraction thingy, you subtract a time from a time. What if you could subtract moments in time, Ansel? Imagine how we would be different if we’d never gone to Julian’s birthday party, or if we didn’t drink that one cup of water. It’d be cool, wouldn’t it?


“But I wouldn’t try it, Ansel. I like who I am very much. Even though people thi –– I think I’m an alien for liking math. But who knows, Ansel? Not me.”

***

Enoch bolts outside the house, slightly out of breath. Sweat trickles down the middle of his spine.

“Hey, Ansel, why is Daddy always so sad when he’s alone? He smiles all the time when I’m with him. Do ya think he’s lonely? Maybe I should go to him now, Ansel, so he’s not lonely. But he’s reading something, I think. The words didn’t look like they do when the computer writes them, but they also don’t look how I write them. They look more like Mrs. Sanese’s writing, ya know? I wanna write like her, with the tall loops.

 “Ansel, I think Daddy was crying. D’you think I should go back? Maybe I should get rid of the book. Ansel, I’ve never seen Daddy cry. I was so scared, Ansel, I –– I still am, Ansel. Daddies are strong and constant and always there. I –– I…”

Enoch’s voice catches, his breath hitches. The cool wind that has been whipping his cheeks blows colder on the tears trickling down his face. He stands up shakily, rubs his eyes, and goes back inside.

***

Years and inches have grown in similar directions for Enoch. His hair is longer and curlier, but his face is still sprinkled with freckles that sing with innocence. He’s not as lonely anymore, but he still tries to remember to talk to Ansel. Granted, he doesn’t always remember, but he tells himself that nobody’s perfect.

“Daniel says it’s not really a great thing to say. He wants to know why you can’t try, if there’s something wrong with perfection. But Ansel, perfect is a weird word. One person’s perfect might not be someone else’s perfect. Perfect can’t have one distinct meaning for everyone. This older guy, with the purple tee with an eye on it, says that nothing is perfect. It only becomes perfect when you acknowledge its flaws and learn to love it regardless.

“I don’t know, Ansel. The word perfect is used so freely when it’s not a word of levity. It’s not a song to sing lightly, but somehow it is. It ends up going like that for a lot of things, Ansel. I keep seeing people saying hard things in the worstest ways.

“I guess the word used on packets of chocolate can sum it up easily, Ansel. Bittersweet.”

***

His voice is trembling. It is May 12, 2022. His hands shake, and he stuffs them into his jean pockets, the blue material encasing the melancholy despair he feels. He hasn’t spoken to Ansel in years. He stands alone in front of the tombstone that hasn’t come to haunt him a long time.

“H-Hey, Ansel. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? The doctors said it was natural, my way of dealing with the pain. It still helps. I’ve… missed you.

“I’m thankful for the times we’ve had together, even though you weren’t really there. If you were ever next to me, or grew with me, there’d be so much that would be different. I’d be different. Sometimes, I wonder if that would be for the better.

“But I like who I am. I like that I have an industrial engineering major and a potential job interview soon. I love that I’m a nerd for outer space, and that I have unnecessary knowledge about butterflies. I like that I like spending days with Dad when it’s a little overcast and going for walks. I like that I like colorful organized notes and dimpled smiles and people who laugh while telling jokes. I like that I know the perfect hot chocolate recipe and its Brazilian origins. I’m just a compilation of experiences and I couldn’t be happier.  

“Ansel, I’m planning on proposing to my girlfriend. Her name is Eloise. You’d have liked her. She has emerald eyes and is just amazing in every way. She plays the saxophone, like you used to.”

He smiles, feeling the sense of unease finally slipping off his shoulders. “It’s been fun, Ansel. I’ll see you later, I guess. But not too soon.”

He raises a hand in farewell, and turns and trudges back to his car. He gets into his car, and the little glass hummingbird swings from the mirror as he drives away.

Snowglobe

The room was cold. They liked it that way. They used to talk about living in a snowglobe.

“Maybe you should talk to him, Mike.” Sarah’s back was pressed against the thin plaster wall, her knees curled into her chest, her cherry hair tangled beyond hope, her eyes sunken like stones. “Maybe you should hear his side of the story.”

Mike scoffed. His position, perched on the windowsill like an owl, cast his body in faint darkness, until Sarah could only see a black silhouette where pale skin and hazel eyes used to be. He faced the outdoors, nose pressed against the foggy glass, breathing onto the chilled surface and watching little clouds of his dirty exhalations form.

“I’d rather jump out this window,” he muttered, peering at the bustling city street below. There were yellow umbrellas down there. Yellow like the sun, like caution signs, like dead skin. Like her dead skin. “And become a flat little pancake.” He almost laughed, thinking about how the ants below would shriek and crowd around him, wanting to know why he’d done it. Tyson, he would’ve said. Ask him.

“Then go ahead.” Sarah’s voice was biting, venomous. Her eyes widened as soon as the words escaped her lips. She was always the pacifist, but just look at what the world was doing to her.

Mike turned around and she could now see his face. His eyes were sunken, too, and he grimaced. “Harsh, Sarah.”

She looked down at her bare feet, at the way her mangled toes curled on top of one another, making her cracked nails the least of her problems. She usually wore socks, but today, being raw felt comfortable.

“It’s not a bad idea,” she whispered, clenching and unclenching her toes. “It might do some good.”

Mike rolled his neck, then turned back to the window and the lifeless people below. “What, killing myself?” There goes an ambulance, he thought. Someone else is dying. But an ambulance isn’t a hospital, and paramedics can’t do shit. It’s all too slow. They’re probably already dead.

“No!” Sarah was too loud; her ears rung. “Talking to him. He deserves to hear what you have to say.”

Mike scowled. “That son of a bitch deserves nothing.”

The people below were frantic now. The cars were still; the ambulance couldn’t get through. Too slow, too slow, too slow. Mike imagined the line going flat, the steady beep that told him she was gone, piercing through their shrieks like a child’s scream. Then a punch was thrown, and Tyson was knocked to the ground, and Mike’s knuckles were bloody, and she was still gone. All because he was too slow.

But this ambulance didn’t have his sister in it. This was someone else’s doom.

“You can’t ignore him forever.” Sarah pulled her arms around her, goosebumps suddenly prickling her skin. “He didn’t know Jo was gonna take too much. None of us did.”

Mike whipped around now, gripping the edge of the windowsill like a lifeline. Sarah tried to shrink against the wall. Smaller, she thought. She wanted to be smaller.

“He fucking well knew she was going to take too much,” Mike hissed, his heart thumping. “And when she did, he did nothing.” His eyes were red, ablaze like candle flames and fresh blood. Sarah turned away.

“Did you ever think maybe it wasn’t just his fault?” Sarah asked, stroking the wall against her back. The plaster was scratched and flaking. A delicate pastry, like the ones Mike used to buy her when they pretended they lived in a snowglobe. “That maybe we all had something to do with it?”

“Are you saying I killed my sister?” Mike turned back to the window. He pressed his nose against the glass and breathed out, one drawn-out sigh escaping his lips. “That’s pretty fucking screwed up, Sarah.”

“I don’t know. I was just thinking. Maybe we were all just blind.”

“Blind?” Mike watched as the people below bustled through the streets, yellow umbrellas twirling and feet moving faster than cars. The ambulance had turned its siren off. Mike knew what that meant. He looked at the cracked watch on his right wrist. Time of death: 12:01.

“Yeah. Like, we all just kind of ignored her,” Sarah’s words were fast, fast and quiet, like quick breaths in the absence of oxygen. “We knew something was wrong, but you and I just lived in our fucking snowglobe, while Tyson kept her pain going. Until it was too late.”

“And then we were too slow,” Mike whispered. The cars started to move again, and the ambulance with the dead girl disappeared around a corner, heading to the hospital. Next comes the calls, Mike thought. Then the fighting. Then the funeral and the blame and the numbness that falls over a widowed family like a noose. That’s when you know your snowglobe is shattered. That’s when the water starts leaking out, and you suffocate, and there’s nothing you can do but watch and wait and try to breathe.

Mike suddenly turned around, eyes wide. “Why is it so cold?”

Sarah shrugged. “We used to like it this way.”

Theft

One day, a man was reading the newspaper when he learned that there was an exhibit in the museum on maximum security. It was displaying a huge bag of gold. He felt the sudden urge to have it.

That night, with his child still at home, he hacked into the security system and broke into the museum. He got all the way to the dinosaur model before there was a loud whirring sound, and the dinosaur’s tail whipped around and created a crack in the wall. Tiny dinosaurs the size of his hand came pouring out of the wall. They bit all over him: his legs, his arms, his head, etc. He was about to give up when his son’s voice crackled through the speaker at his ear. “All clear. The dinosaurs will go away as soon as I tell them to.”

“What are you waiting for? Send them away!”

“I would, but I thought maybe they could be your honor guard. You know, all the DC villains have cool technology or catch phrases. You don’t have anything.”

The frequency of the bites increased. “Don’t be ridiculous! Just call them off!”

The dinosaurs went back into the wall, which automatically healed itself.

The man was so scared that he considered retreating, but then he looked at the brochure again and reconsidered.

He got all the way to the gold before he realized that the gold was surrounded by a huge glass wall and numerous of guards. He explained the situation to his son.

“I knew it! I knew you should have kept those tiny dinosaurs!”

He smiled and took out a small taser. He pointed and pulled the trigger. Every one of the guards writhed on the ground for a moment, then went still.

He stepped over them and made his way to the gold. He grabbed it and felt something in it move.

That’s weird, he thought. After a while, he convinced himself that it was just his imagination. He made his way to the entrance, and then felt it writhe in his hands again. He opened the bag, and to his horror, spiders were crawling out of it. They bit him everywhere, just like the dinosaurs, but this time, he couldn’t see anything. He felt as if they were injecting fire into him, and, with a start, he realized that they were poisonous.

As his life stole away from him, he heard his son say, “Don’t open the bag! Turns out it’s full of spiders! I just realized.” But it was too late. He was gone.

Masara Gets Bullied

Once upon a time, long, long ago, like twenty years ago, there lived a monkey whose name was Masara. Masara was very weak and couldn’t do anything but walk and eat flowers. Since he was so weak, people would pick on him.

One day, he was in the bathroom and five people came to beat him up. Their names were Tom, George, Greg, Peter, and Bob.

Bob grabbed Masara’s tail.

George said, “Oh, hi, little monkey.”

“Slam him into the wall!” Greg said, “No, dump him in the toilet!”

Masara decided that he would never forgive Greg and was going to kick his butt.

Peter said, “Greg, George, Tom, Bob, I don’t want to be a bully with you guys anymore.”

Tom said, “I agree with Peter. I don’t want to be bullies with you guys anymore either. I’m going to go and find a new nice friend.”

Now Masara, Peter, and Tom went to learn karate.

After a year, they were all black belts, and they went to fight Greg. Masara dressed in a huge suit of monkey armor that was dark red with a light on every side that would blind anyone who tried to hit him. After he was dressed, Masara, Peter, and Tom went looking for Greg. They found him near the dumpster behind Burger King, and Masara said to Greg, “Just because you were being mean to me before doesn’t mean you can be mean to me now!” And then he started a little dance and said, “HIYAAA! HOO-OH! HIIIYA!” He started screeching like a monkey (because he was a monkey). That was Tom and Peter’s cue from Master Masara to exercise their karate skills.

Greg started to cry because he was very sad that Masara and his old friends, Tom and Peter, had finally punched him. Greg was trying to punch back, but he was too weak.

Masara punched Greg on the butt and hit Greg so hard he knocked Greg’s pants off. Masara was just that mad. Greg was really, really upset now because Masara had punched his pants off. Greg tried to hit Masara back, but Masara’s karate training had made him too fast and strong for Greg to hit.

Greg got so mad that he couldn’t hurt Masara that he chased after Masara and ran into a wall so hard that he got knocked out. An ambulance came to take him to the hospital, but Masara said, “O00h! Don’t take him! He’s really rude. He almost flushed me down a toilet to send me off into dirty yucky crocodile water under the sewers!”

“We’ll take care of this!” the singing ambulance driver said in opera, and sent Greg to a prison hospital in China to keep him away from the others. In the prison, a blacksmith came and turned Greg into a soda can and then filled him up with a new kind of soda called “The LooLooLa” to give to Masara, Tom, and Peter. The other bullies, George and Bob, were really glad that they had been saved as well from Greg, because Greg had been making them be bullies. They joined Masara, Tom, and Peter to have a soda party.

Masara was so glad that he got to go out with all his new best friends. And it was his birthday, so he got to have LooLooLa soda and a monkey-shaped cake to celebrate.

Hacking into NASA

Around 11:00 p.m., at 1000 Chicken Avenue, Murica, Florida, somebody decided to hack into NASA’s most secret files, the ones that neither the public nor even the workers at NASA knew about. This 14-year-old boy, Aldrin, had been studying how to hack into many different systems since he was four. He wanted to do this because his grandfather mysteriously went missing eight years ago after he visited NASA to check one of their rockets.

Aldrin finally thought he was ready, and started looking for a way in. Apparently NASA had been putting anti-hack softwares, so Aldrin had a hard time getting into NASA. After a while, however, Aldrin finally found a way in. It was very ironic that NASA managed to install an anti-hack software for world-class hackers but didn’t do it for a method that virtually anybody could do. He quickly went into the mainframe, and a screen popped up with a bunch of files. Some folders said, “General Information,” while others said, “Classified Stuff.” There was one unique folder called “Top Secret Files,” and that was that was the one he needed.

He tried to go to the Top Secret files, but his computer immediately went into lockdown, and literally nothing could move. He was not scared because he knew exactly what to do in this situation. He typed into his keyboard, “F4_break_freeze” and clicked enter. His computer immediately opened the Top Secret Files. There was a lot of boring text with long words about “keeping your oath for your country” and other stuff. There were pictures too, but he had to download them because they were so big.

His parents had no idea that he was hacking into NASA. They always thought he had an average mind, but in reality he was smarter than they thought. He tricked them into thinking that every kid easily gets an A plus-plus every time.

His parents did not pay much attention to him because they had time-consuming work, so Aldrin also thought that he would finally get their attention for longer than just five minutes. With these thoughts in his head, he glanced at the clock, and he was surprised that he had spent more than an hour on this, when it only felt like a few minutes. Aldrin left his laptop running because he was too tired to continue, and then he went to sleep.

Aldrin woke up at around 5:30 in the morning to experiment with NASA’s top secret files. The first file he downloaded into his laptop was 8,800 pixels. Since his laptop only held 440 pixels at a time, he had to wait almost a full day for the picture to download entirely. Finally the picture downloaded, so Aldrin opened the file. He saw a chart saying, “Extra Terrestrial Officer Ranks.” In that chart there were a bunch of words that Aldrin did not know. The words sounded like Latin, so he searched up a translator that transferred Latin into English and vice-versa.

Aldrin typed in the name that was on the lowest rank, Vexillum, into Google translate. It showed that Vexillum meant standard. Aldrin thought that he was on o something. Then he typed the highest rank, Vix, and it showed scarce, which is a synonym for rare. He knew he was getting closer to the answer, but not there just yet.

He then typed in Jerry Armstrong, his grandfather’s name, and one result popped up. His arms and legs felt very weak as he moved his cursor to that single result, knowing that this would affect him in a big way. His cursor hovered over Jerry Armstrong, wondering if he should click it. As if in slow motion, Aldrin clicked the name, and it transported him to a page with the NASA background, and the title was, “NASA Offenders.”

As soon as Aldrin started reading, somebody banged on the front door. Aldrin jumped up and ran downstairs to open the door. Without checking who it was, Aldrin opened the door. The next thing he saw was five men holding guns, who were wearing black uniforms with badges that looked like “Δ.” One of them asked, ”Are you Mr. Aldrin Armstrong?”

Fear of getting put into jail for lying, he told the officers yes. Another one said, ”Sorry, sir, but you have to come with us. You hacked into NASA and read the most secret files. You cannot be trusted to be out in the public.”

Aldrin decided that, however stupid it sounded, he would try to knock out these people using his powerful yellow belt skills. Just as he tried a roundhouse kick on one of the security guards, another guard immediately pulled out a taser and electrified him. So much for powerful karate skills.

The last thing Aldrin could remember before passing out was the guards carrying him outside.

A few hours later, Aldrin woke up. He was in a room that was completely white with a NASA logo, and it smelled like disinfectant. It was just a closed-off room to any normal person’s mind, but Aldrin saw NASA’s plan. One wall was a different color white from the rest, and there were little visual holes. He was looking straight at a one-way window, and he knew that there were many people looking right back at him.

A voice boomed from hidden speakers, saying, “Aldrin Armstrong, you have violated America’s laws by hacking into NASA. Why have you done so, and how have you done it? We will give you some time to think of your answer, and then you shall give it to us. If you say something that is impossible, you will be executed.”

All this time Aldrin was thinking, Oh God, what should I say? Should I tell them the truth or some made up baloney?

Then Aldrin saw an air vent leading out of the room. It was near the floor, just about five inches off of it, and it had a NASA design on it. He pretended to go to sleep near the vent, so the people looking at him from the other room would start getting bored watching a boy sleep unsuspiciously near an air vent.

After thirty minutes, when there was no sound coming from the room, Aldrin pulled out a Swiss Army knife, only there for emergencies, and started unscrewing the bolts one by one. He then heard a shout from the other room, and collapsed, hoping that nobody noticed.

He heard footsteps in the room, and something sharp started poking him. After the poker guy was satisfied that Aldrin was asleep, he walked away. Aldrin kept up the act for a few more minutes, and then hurriedly started unscrewing.

He pushed down the air vent, and it fell with a loud thud. Aldrin knew people were looking at him because of it. He quickly climbed into the vent, with the sounds of people’s voices shouting behind him. Alarms started blaring as Aldrin crawled, the sound was deafening.

He saw an opening and started banging on it, hoping that it was weak and would fall easily. As Aldrin predicted, the vent opened after a few more bangs, falling and bringing Aldrin with it, who had no time to move out the way. Aldrin ran down a hallway, following a sign that said, NASA Systems MAIN II. The hallway was completely white, except for the occasional NASA logo.

The hallway went down a few miles, or at least it felt like that. Finally, he reached a huge computer, with the NASA logo bouncing around. Aldrin clicked “enter,” and the computer said to put in the password. Looking around, Aldrin also found a machine glowing beside the huge computer, and it looked like a finger-scanner. Since Aldrin spent most of his time hacking, he went for the computer. He spent a lot of time on trying to hack into the computer, but none of his techniques worked. He tried Ctrl-Shift-Alt-P, but that did not work. He tried P-F7, but that did not work either. His last technique was the old-fashioned “guess the password,” but of course that did not work.

Aldrin was thinking about different ways to hack in, and his eyes suddenly caught the fingerprint machine. He suddenly remembered an old Scooby-Doo episode, where they escaped an electrical cage that only worked on fingerprints. Aldrin found some powder from a battery, also called battery acid. He ripped a piece of his shirt off, and after carefully sprinkling the battery acid onto the finger-scanner, he gently pressed the cotton down. This technique was supposed to trick the scanner into thinking that the intruder was the one with the real fingerprint because the actual person’s fingerprints were still on the scanner if they didn’t clean it.

Suddenly the computer’s screen changed, and a voice said, “Welcome to NASA Systems MAIN II.” Aldrin quickly typed in “Jerry Armstrong” again because he knew that he was running out of time. Only one result popped up, the same one as last time, but this one was a different color. Aldrin clicked the text, expecting the same page again, and that was what he got.

This website looked exactly like the other one, but there was a new tab on it, This tab said, “Whereabouts.” Aldrin again suddenly felt very weak, the weakness starting small but spreading faster each second. He clicked it, and it said, “Offender in NASA Lockdown Area, in Prison 7, Area 51, 7.23 km deep.” Aldrin did not know anything about what these even could mean, but he was so happy he finally knew what he was doing.

Aldrin suddenly heard footsteps getting closer and closer, and heard a deep voice saying, “Check MAIN II, he might be checking the files. You three, go check Prison Seven, he might be freeing his snoopy grandfather.” The footsteps got closer, and Aldrin did not know what to do. Without thinking, he dove behind the huge computer, knocking down the fingerprint machine. The footsteps stopped, and a shadow came into the room. Aldrin held his breath for the longest time he ever had, until his face started turning blue. The footsteps came even closer, inspecting every part of the room the person could. The person picked up the scanner, inspecting if it was broken or not. A loud grunt sounded in the room as the person threw the fingerprint machine back onto the floor, this time the machine breaking into pieces.

Aldrin finally couldn’t hold his breath anymore and took a deep breath. The person suddenly stopped, and the footsteps came closer. A face peered over the huge computer, shock expressed on it. Aldrin could not think at the moment, and the first thing that came to his mind was the worst idea possible.

Aldrin stood up, and seeing that there was nobody else in the room, he jumped up and started punching the person in the face as hard as he could. Surprised but not hurt, the man pulled out his taser, but as he was taking a shot, Aldrin’s completely off-target fist knocked it into a funny angle. Already pulling the trigger, the man looked at where the taser was pointing, but he could not do anything about it. The taser end was pointed straight at him. The man collapsed instantly, and Aldrin could not believe that his amazing technique had worked.

Aldrin knew that the others would soon be looking for him, and he needed to take advantage of the time he had. He took a phone-shaped object and some keys from the unconscious guard, thinking that it was to communicate with the other NASA guards, he typed into it, “He is not in here, I think he escaped from the building.” Plenty of other messages popped up, all of them saying that they were going outside to check.

Aldrin then went onto an app that had the NASA’s logo on it. He searched up “Prison Seven, Area 51, Jerry Armstrong” and a map showed up. A red and blue dot showed up on the screen, and in the key it said “Red Dot = You Are Here, Blue Dot = Location Inserted.” Aldrin started walking towards the blue dot, occasionally checking to see if there was any people in front of him. He was in a tunnel-like area, with ceiling lights every 100 feet or so. Finally, it said he was 5.232 meters away from his grandfather when his eyes left the screen.

Aldrin was expecting many prison cells lined up against the wall, but there was only one. He walked to the front of that cell, his legs feeling very weak and shaky, his heart pounding, and he looked inside. Aldrin saw a crouched person on the floor, a pair of similar blue eyes looking at him. Nobody spoke for what seemed like hours, the silence so loud.

His grandfather shakily got up and walked just like a baby horse would, his legs wobbling and in danger of falling at any time. Finally he reached the iron bars and grabbed them so that he could lean on them for support. Now Aldrin clearly saw every single detail of his grandfather that he did not notice the last time they had met, which had been over eight years ago. His grandfather looked much older, with wrinkles and grey hair. He stood hunched, like a stick that broke but not completely, and definitely much weaker. He was dangerously thin, and Aldrin wondered when the last time he had had a meal was.

He wore a tattered blue button-down shirt and black pants with the knee part completely ripped, as if his grandfather had been dragged while wearing them.

Jerry Armstrong whispered so softly that it was barely audible, “Aldrin, is that you?” His face was bathed in shock and gratitude, because even though this person might not be his grandson, his motive was clearly to rescue him. Aldrin had been imagining this moment for years and thought of exactly what to say, but it seemed as if his voice was not working at the moment. He just stared at his grandfather, slightly nodding.

“Hello, Grandfather, I have come to save you.” His voice seemed to work automatically, Aldrin did not even think about what to say.

Slowly the other parts of his mind started to function, lastly his ability to think. As Aldrin was still in dumb shock, his grandfather hoisted himself up, thinking that he should now look strong for his grandson.

Soon after Aldrin’s mind was running again, he finally thought of the situation at hand. Aldrin pulled out the keys he got from the unconscious security guard and unlocked the prison cell. He still was in amazement that he managed to pull this entire NASA thing off, but he told his grandfather, “We have to get out of here before any guard finds us.” Immediately after Aldrin said that, alarms started blaring.

This time his grandfather said, “How could they have known?” Aldrin, still wondering, looked up at the ceiling, where he saw it littered with all kinds of security cameras, probably so if one person hacked into the cameras, they would not get the full view.

His grandfather also looked up, and a deep scowl crossed his face. It was now Jerry Armstrong’s turn to speak, and he said, “I know an easy way out of here.” Without pausing to see what Aldrin would say, he turned around and approached the side of the wall with the least cameras and what seemed like a faint square of light. Placing his hands on the block, Aldrin’s grandfather pushed, and the faint square of light turned into a secret tunnel, probably forgotten.

As they entered the tunnel, the door behind them slid shut, hopefully not trapping them. Aldrin was now pestering his grandfather with questions, from “Why did NASA lock you up?” to “Do you know my dad?”

His grandfather abruptly stopped, causing Aldrin to slam into him and bounce off. Jerry Armstrong slowly turned around and sighed. “NASA locked me up because I found out something that NASA didn’t want the public to know.”

“And what did you find out?” Aldrin asked.

Jerry Armstrong looked Aldrin straight in the eye and said, “For a while, NASA had alien contact.”

“That’s amazing! Why would Nasa want to keep it a secret?” Aldrin exclaimed.

“Unfortunately NASA thought that the majority of the public would go completely ballistic, so before anybody found out about the incident, all of the aliens were killed,” his grandfather replied with tears in his eyes.

“Yes, but now is not the time to dwell on that matter, since we have to escape.”

A few moments later they came to a dead end, and this time there was no hint of light.

“Now what are we going to do?” asked Aldrin. “It’s not like we could just push through the wall this time.”

“Think again, Aldrin. This wall is an optical illusion. Look closer and you will see what I am talking about.”

Aldrin looked closer and he saw. It looked like a dead end but it was actually a door. It was definitely the most convincing illusion.

His grandfather, clearly annoyed by his grandson’s habit of getting lost in thought, said, “There is no time to lose, mister. Now HUSTLE!”

They both opened the illusionary door, and walked into a huge office. In the middle of everything sat a huge desk, with a nameplate that was too far away for Aldrin to read. They moved closer and saw that the nametag said, “President of NASA, Charles Bolden.”

In the back right corner of the room was a glowing sign that read, “EXIT.”

Yes! Exactly what they needed. They started to move towards the door, but as they passed the desk, flashing red lights and alarms started blaring.

The door in the back right opened and a security guard angrily stomped in. He had a red face and a black eye. Aldrin recognized this officer as the one he had knocked out earlier. They were close enough to read his name tag, and it read, “Charles Bolden.”

The officer yelled loudly, “You have broken into the most secret of NASA bases, and have collected valuable information. You will not be able to leave this facility, in means that may be harmful.”

Aldrin knew that it was only one person, but before he could react, hundreds of soldiers marched into the room, crowding up the exit, and making sure the president of NASA was safe.

“Bring among the co-presidents of NASA, they are the only ones I can trust.”

Two people walked into the room, and Aldrin could not believe his eyes! His own parents walked in confidently, but it all wavered when their eyes caught his. His mother’s eyes reached his for a moment and her expression changed to shock for the tiniest millisecond.

“Reporting for duty, sir,” they said loudly.

The officer said, “I want these criminals to be locked up in Gate Z, where they will be killed.” His mother’s eyes flashed in alarm, but she said nothing. His parents walked up to his grandfather and him, where they turned around and announced, “We will take these fools down to Gate Z, but we do not need any help.”

The officer obviously trusted his parents so he just slightly nodded his head.

After walking for a few minutes in complete silence his parents turned around sharply and started yelling at him.

“What in the world are you doing here?”

Aldrin said, “I came here to save Grandpa, what are you doing here?”

His parents suddenly became quiet and looked at each other. “Well, see son…,” his father began.

“And what about Grandpa –– why didn’t you tell me about him?” Aldrin continued.

His parents were not even getting a chance to explain themselves. They nervously looked around to see if anybody was watching.

“Are you people even listening to me?” Aldrin yelled.

“Stop it, Aldrin, people are still in this building,” his father shouted.

Aldrin’s mother motioned for him to stay silent as his grandfather looked like he wanted to jump into the argument.

“There is not much time for you, so you are going to do exactly what we tell you to,” his mother hissed.

Aldrin was still in shock about the previous close call that he could not move his mouth even if he tried. “Yes, mom,” Aldrin said, and with that statement the family moved down the hallway, following the signs that said “EXIT.”

Twenty minutes later, after a series of dwindling pathways, Aldrin’s family stood at a door that read, “Exit.”

“What are you guys going to do when the officer realizes that we escaped?” Aldrin asked his parents.

“There is only one thing to do now, and that is bow down to the law and take our punishment,” Aldrin’s dad replied. Aldrin’s mind took a moment to process this information, and when it did he wished he never knew what his dad had meant.

His grandfather thought for a moment before saying, “There is another solution, and this one will keep all of us safe.”

Aldrin’s parents looked at his grandfather before Aldrin said, “Well, you could let us go right now and then hand in your resignation letter, so by law they cannot harm you at all because they would have no proof.”

“Brilliant plan, Aldrin,” his grandfather said. “That was exactly what I was thinking.” His parents looked like they were deep in thought trying to find flaws in this beautiful plan.

“Fine,” his dad said slowly, as if he didn’t like agreeing to a plan that his son made up, “but you know you are grounded for three months after this.”

“Wait, but why didn’t you ever tell me about Grandpa, or that you worked for NASA?” Aldrin asked his unanswered question.

“We didn’t want to tell you because we thought you might blab about it in school,” his dad told him, saying it surprisingly gently.

“Why didn’t you just quit or something,” Aldrin asked, his voice low and barely audible.

“They said that they would kill your grandfather if we quit,” his mother said. “But now, since he’ll escape, they won’t have anybody to kill.”

“Why would they even want Grandpa anyways,” Aldrin asked. “No offense, Grandpa, but why would they want you this badly?”

“NASA did not want him because of his skill,” Aldrin’s dad replied. They kept him because they thought he would tell the public about the information he found.”

“Sorry to interrupt this moment, but we are still being hunted down by one of the world’s most important organizations,” his grandfather said. “We will have a chat about this at home, but now is not the time.”

“Right,” his dad said.

Aldrin’s father swiped a card with the NASA logo on it, and a red light above the door that Aldrin had not noticed turned green. He shoved Aldrin through the door and waited for his grandfather to walk through the door. Without a goodbye, Aldrin’s father threw the car keys to Aldrin and quickly shut the door. Aldrin heard footsteps walk away before turning to his grandfather and handing the keys to him.

The ride back home was extremely quiet, the only sound being that of the radio. There seemed to be many more cop cars roaming the streets today, Aldrin thought as he looked out the window. I wonder why NASA wants my parents so badly that they would use a family member to do it, Aldrin spoke in his mind. Maybe they are some kind of super-smart prodigies that can benefit any company. Nah, if they were really smart than they would have tried to make me that intelligent. What if… THEY’RE ALIENS!?

Great, now I am babbling random stuff that makes no possible sense. Why in the world would my parents, the ones that raised me from birth, be some kinds of aliens? Fighting with NASA might have taken a huge toll on my mind. I should probably go to sleep.

No matter how hard Aldrin tried, he could not manage to sleep. He just kept thinking about different possibilities of why NASA wanted his parents so much.

Finally, Aldrin’s grandfather broke the thoughts by pulling into the driveway of a huge hotel. “We will stop in here for a few weeks and try to get off the radar,” said his grandfather. Aldrin switched on the TV, where the first thing that came up was, “NASA Security Breached?” Aldrin switched the TV off and then decided to go to bed, still thinking about the crazy things that had happened in the last few days.

In the morning, after a long night of laying in bed, Aldrin got out of his bed and went to his computer, thinking about if he should tell on NASA or not. He wondered what he would have done before this crazy adventure versus what he would do now. In the end he decided that he did not want to create any drama for anyone anymore and just live his life.

***

Three Months Later…

“Aldrin, come down for breakfast,” his dad yelled from the kitchen.

“He looked around his new room, satisfied that it was much bigger than his old room, but still had his old computer. He’d changed his IP address so nobody could track him from previous encounters. His mom and dad announced that they were moving just after they came back from resigning from NASA. Aldrin knew exactly why they were moving though. It was so that they could throw NASA off of their trail. His family had been acting completely normal in the past few months, but Aldrin still had nightmares from NASA.

“Aldrin, hurry up, we’re having pancakes today, and your mom and I still have to go to work.”

“Coming, Dad,” Aldrin replied. His parents seemed to be giving him more attention after the NASA catastrophe, and Aldrin was still getting used to it.

His parents quickly found high-paying jobs as web designers. Luckily they did not keep secrets from him this time and told him exactly what happened at work whenever he felt like listening.

His grandfather had adjusted pretty quickly, considering that he spent over five years in a prison cell with hardly any food and water. His grandfather had eaten a lot when he first came back, and he looked much healthier than he did when Aldrin saw him at NASA’s headquarters.

“Aldrin, come down here right now or I will come up and make you come down,” his father shouted.

Aldrin was glad that he finally got his parents’ respect and attention, and even more glad that they spent more time with him, but he was still nervous that NASA would find him someday.

All these thoughts swirled through his head as he went downstairs, but they were lured away with the amazing smell of warm pancakes with maple syrup.

His grandfather sat on one of the chairs, looking very happy as he munched on his waffles. He stared at the TV, which was showing the daily news. This time it was showing the weather patterns for next week. It said the weather was going to be perfect, all above 70 degrees.

“Good morning guys,” Aldrin said cheerfully. “I am just going to take five piles of pancakes, don’t mind me!”

 

Meanwhile, at the headquarters of NASA…

 

“We finally found out where the boy lives,” a general told the back of a man’s seat. “The ex-agents might have thought we couldn’t find them, but we managed to do it.” They changed their address, phone numbers, houses, even all of their IP addresses.

“Excellent job, Marcus,” the president of NASA said as he swiveled his chair. “We will first go for the parents, which will make the boy and his grandfather go crazy. Once the grandfather and the boy come to look for them, we will snap them up and place them in Prison One.”

His mouth curved into an evil smile as he said, “Beware, Aldrin Armstrong, you have messed with the wrong people.”

To be continued… 

When the Clocks Stop (Excerpt)

When silence fills a room, the tick of one clock can be louder than a heartbeat. The steady sound of the seconds passing fills empty air with a melancholy cloud of missing time.

But then, if one clock is a heartbeat, fifty is a thunderclap.

The largest clock was set above the fireplace, its large face counting over the proceedings of the room like some sort of eternal judge, heavy hands rusted and numbers chipped and faded. Its edges were yellowed like paper, and justice squeaked in its spinning gears, friendly and stern.

Below it on the mantle, a much newer clock stood stiffly: white and pristine with dashes circling its face instead of numbers. Its hands were long and narrow, ticking with noisy efficiency, primly aware that it was wound just a bit too tight.

The grandfather clock stood in the corner, solemnly counting the seconds, dust gathering at its feet.

Shining mahogany faces gleamed from the ceiling, twins, ticking faster and faster, competing with each other’s balance of numbers.

Dozens of other clocks lined the walls, varying in shape, size, and color. The ticking rang out from every corner, some quick and desperate, others seeming almost despondent, but all somehow exactly on time, up to the very second.

The man who sat in the center of the room muttered to himself as he dug through a small pile of tools. Secrets whirled about him, brushing against him, begging for his attention, but he waved them away.

His hands never stopped moving, searching through the pile while dragging his fingers agitatedly through his hair. He tapped along to the ticking, still muttering under his breath. He gave a frustrated sigh, and the largest clock whirred questioningly.

“When I was young,” Arkwright informed the clocks, his eyes heavy with the weight of thousands of years, “I wondered why people grew old. Silly thing to do, I thought. Why let time control you?”

It was strange, really, how someone could look so young and so old all at once. Eternity blossomed before his face, dancing before his eyes.

“Old is one thing. Ancient is quite another.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut and dissolving the illusion.

The twin clocks on the ceiling exchanged worried ticks as he continued, motioning grandly with one arm. “You grow old from too much living. You become ancient from too much time; that’s the secret. Too much time and not enough life to fill it.”

“Timekeeper. You’re rambling again.” He turned to see Eldon standing in the doorway, silhouetted against the light pouring out behind him.

Arkwright arranged his face into an innocent expression. “Am I? I suppose so. Can’t be helped.” He looked ruefully around him at the spare bits and broken bobs scattered on the floor. “Life is relative, my friend. Time plays with fools by being generous.” The prim little clock on the mantle hummed in annoyance. “You would know that, of course.” He fiddled idly with a scrap of metal, turning it over in his long fingers so it shone in the firelight.

Eldon smiled sadly. “Of course.”

“Of course,” Arkwright muttered under his breath, studying the brass scrap, “of course. Nothing is ‘of course.’ Some things are ‘possibly.’ Some things are ‘maybe.’ Nothing is ‘of course.’ Nothing can be that certain, can it? You blink and it’s gone. It never lasts.”

“It just disappears.” Eldon’s voice was sympathetic, almost pitying.

“Disappears? No. Flickers.” The Timekeeper drew out a pair of spectacles, balancing them precariously on his nose. He rubbed the brass with his thumb. “Like a candle.”

Eldon closed the door gently and approached the man sitting on the floor. “A candle?” he asked.

Arkwright resolutely turned his back on Eldon. “A candle,” he agreed, waving a hand vaguely behind him. “You know. Burning down the wick, dripping wax, dancing on the edge of oblivion.” He looked up from the scrap for a second, peering deep into space. “Surviving merely to be extinguished.” The grandfather clock creaked in agreement, its peeling, painted numbers looking sad and lonely.

Eldon picked up a shard of twisted glass which lay on the table and held it up to his eye. “Well,” he said, “if you see it that way.”

Arkwright hesitated, still studying the opposite wall over the top of his spectacles, before adjusting them and returning to the scrap. “Yes, well. There’s no other way for me to see it. I live from my point of view.”

Eldon grinned openly at this response. “As do we all.”

The fire popped and crackled as it burned lower. Arkwright deposited the brass scrap absentmindedly on the floor, picking up a coiled spring. “So. Come to kill me again?” he inquired politely. He asked the question in such a matter-of-fact tone he might have been discussing the weather, but the ticking around them gained a more ominous note, speeding up an infinitesimal amount.

The grin fell from Eldon’s face, and he seemed to age ten years as looked down at his hands, replying finally, “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

“Oh no, not like that!” Eldon looked up in time to see the Timekeeper climb to his feet. “Chin up! If you’re going to kill me, at least be confident about it! You haven’t lost faith in this old game of ours, have you? No.”

Eldon sighed. “If you would stop being so bloody cheerful about it, it might make a difference.” A squat, grey clock near the floor groaned in agreement, and Eldon half-glanced at it.

“Oh! Sorry.” Arkwright tried to arrange his face into something more suited to the situation. “Better?”

“Not really.”

“Mm.” Arkwright bobbed his head distractedly, before straightening up, folding his spectacles and slipping them back into a pocket. “Right. Better get it over with, then. Do you have a plan this time, or are you merely going to ‘wing it,’ as they say?”

“Listen, could you not do that?”

“What?”

“You know. That.”

The Timekeeper raised an eyebrow. “I’m afraid you’ll have to be a bit more specific.”

“Your whole crazy, cheerful babbling act. What part of ‘kill you’ did you not understand?”

Arkwright, however, was now ignoring him. He had directed his attention instead to a particularly small clock, whose hands looked limp and feeble. Its ticking had slowed, and the seconds were out of step with the others. The noise in the room grew quieter as the Timekeeper put a hand on its face, fingers tracing the tiny numbers gently as he muttered words of encouragement. The clock was small, with a shell-colored rim and innocent numerals circling the edges.

Eldon watched curiously. He had done this time and time again (Ha. he thought weakly, Time and time again. How accurate.) but this was new. New was rare for him these days, but, he justified, that’s the price I pay.

The clock squeaked mournfully, and Eldon noticed that Arkwright’s hands were shaking slightly and he stroked the clock face. Now that’s definitely new.

This was the first time Eldon had seen anything but a smile on the Timekeeper’s face. Worry creased Arkwright’s brow, and every miniscule line on his face grew more pronounced. The firelight played on the bags under his eyes, casting dark shadows over his face.

The ticking of the other clocks was barely more than a whisper as time slowed down. The tiny clock shivered violently, nearly falling out of the wall altogether, but Arkwright held it in place, still muttering under his breath.

As Eldon watched, the Timekeeper pressed a gentle finger against the second hand, stopping it completely. The room was silent in shock, as even the other clocks forgot what they were supposed to be doing.

Arkwright stood slowly, turning to face his other clocks, who hastily resumed ticking. As he returned his gaze to Eldon, his true age seemed to be written all over his young face. His pale eyes were filled with a determined fire: ancient, grief-stricken, and ever so slightly furious. He turned his gaze on Eldon, who took a step back involuntarily, filled with the unmistakable feeling of witnessing the calm before a storm. The Timekeeper spread his arms wide, and said quietly to his killer, “Get it over with. We have work to do.”

Eldon glanced nervously at the other clocks, but they ignored him, concentrating only on counting the silent seconds as they passed. A gunshot echoed through the room, and as the Timekeeper fell, the clocks stopped for the second time that day.

 

White Gown

The first time I saw her, she was in her white gown staring at me in the hospital bed –– not in a bad way, a good way, a way that I never thought anyone would ever look at me. Reading this you probably don’t believe me, but I promise. I promise that she was standing right there at the foot of my bed watching me. I had been in agony, but as she was watching over me I could feel no pain –– not one single hurt. She must have had a magical vibe.

That first time, she turned away from me to see a little girl –– a miniature version of herself –– in a white dress.  She was so… so graceful in every way, delicate. She stroked the girl’s fair hair as she whispered to her. Synchronized looks in my direction, I saw both of their pale blue eyes as they stared into mine.

When they walked away it felt as if they had healed me, so I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it again.

I am Elise Miller. I am nineteenyears old and I have been diagnosed with lung cancer from the asbestos in our old apartment. They told me that I had a fifteen percent chance of living. But ever since my first surgery, I have been semi-okay. After that, my mom and I moved to a small apartment in San Francisco, California.

I am in the hospital again –– my third time this week. She’s back at the foot of my bed, yet this time she has more glow and is trying to speak to me. I listen intently, hearing her soft, faint voice. “Help me, help me, please. I need you.

And then a red coated man comes and takes her hand and carries her away.

I wanted to help her, this magical being who had saved me from my pain.

She doesn’t come back until the next day. But this time when she appears, she is tied up to a chair, in chains, the red coated man walking around her.

“She’s mine,” he says. “Don’t even think of trying to take her back.”  He has a deep, dark voice. It’s easy to sense his evil and mischievousness.

I don’t go to school anymore and it has given me lots of time to think about these characters I have made. I want one wish. That wish is to be able to talk back to these characters. I want to know how they feel, how they think.

I am back in the hospital, this time for testing. When I stare at the end of the bed, that same woman is trapped in a room with no windows, no door. Only a chair, a rope, duct tape tied to her and the red-coated man walking around her.

He’s saying something to her, something like, “I just want to know where he is and why he is doing this so I can stop him.” The red-coated man seems really demanding.

The woman keeps fighting back. “I would never tell you. Over my dead body.”

“Your husband cannot be trusted any longer. If you join me we could take over his power and do good to the world.”

“You will never see me support you, even if our world was turned upside down.”

Then I glimpse another man walking around. He is tall and wears all black. This man is looking for something, and I wonder if he is the man they were talking about. Then the white-gowned woman walks up to him. She is in a panic.

“He is after you,” she says with fear in her voice.

“But he will never find me, because he is not welcome here,” the man says.

She has no response to this, but I can tell she could say millions of things to him.   

When I finally leave the hospital from this round of testing, my mother and I get into a terrible car accident coming out of the parking lot. Everything goes pitch black. I only have a small cut on my arm but my mom has a broken thumb. Back to the hospital we go! This time I’m not the patient –– my mom is, with her broken finger.

A few days later we find out that the guy that crashed into us has been paralyzed from the waist down. He had rammed into the side of our car in great speed trying to cut a red light.   

And then the test results show that the cancer is coming back. I will never be done with hospital visits. I see her every time and become more of a witness to her story. This time, from my bed I see that there is another character. He walks up to the man in black, and looks around. “We need to stop her from her plan.”

“What is this so-called plan?!” I scream in my sleep. “What are you going to do? Don’t kill her, I need her!”

“Elise, are you okay?” my mother asks.

“I am not okay mom, she might die!” I yell at her. My mom runs to the door and I hear her pleading for help as I continue to scream in terror. I hear people rushing to my room and I feel the breeze against me as we rush to another room, the dreadful, terrible, “black hole” of San Francisco: the Emergency Room. Then my vision blurs and my mind is frozen.

When I wake, I instantly see the back of her white gown. But she isn’t just walking away, she is running away. Running down an endless road in the dark, where there are no lights, all the other characters running after her. She has gone into a small alley where she stands behind a gate. The other characters sneak up behind her and take her away.

“I have to go Elise, I’ll see you in the morning.” Is that my mom? I don’t respond because I am too tired.

Her white gown drags across the sidewalk as she walks in her elegant way, handcuffed.

The moon played a part in this story. He glistened his shining light on her gown and grinned. I awake after that, and out my window the moon grins at me. I grin back. As I look at the moon I see someone sitting on top of it. Her white gown crept off the side of the moon. She winks at me and…

Elise was gone too soon. She could not continue on her story, but sometimes we have to accept that some stories just cannot be finished.

The Cruise Ship Catastrophe

It all was fine until an hour ago. On January 27th, 2028, my younger brother, my parents, and I departed from New York City and headed for the Bahamas on the Anthem of the Seas. When I got on board my mind could not decide on what to do. There were many activities to please everybody. There was a zoo, many different restaurants, a spa, 23 pools, 17 water slides, a water park, a hockey rink, a separate skating rink, a basketball court, a baseball field, and a skate park. I felt I was in an alternate universe before reality set in. It was almost too good too be true. The thing that appealed to me most was the hockey rink. There were bleachers and the rink was modeled after the rink of the New York Rangers. Each team could select their own goal horn and uniforms for the game. My parents forced me to stay with my brother so that I could watch him. The only problem was we had conflicting wants; he wanted to explore the zoo and I wanted to play sports and explore the cruise ship. “I want to play sports and you want to explore the zoo, is there anything I can do for you?” I asked my brother.

“I might want to go back, but I might want to go to the zoo.”

I figured out his bargain and jumped at the opportunity. “I have 20 extra dollars. Will that do the job?”

“How did you manage to obtain these $20?”

“We had a short week, so it’s extra lunch money. Remember, we have open campus lunch.”

“You only spent $20 on lunch this week. That’s an all time low.”

“I only spent half of my money this week, honestly and truly.”

“We have ourselves a deal,” he replied.

I took him to our room, plopped him in front of the TV and set off on my own adventure.

I never wanted the day to end, there were so many activities that I could participate in. In the end, my final order was an hour of baseball, an hour of hockey, and then I would retrieve my brother and we could explore the zoo and visit the water park. I found out that we were on a ship with very athletic people. I was the youngest and probably the least skilled of all the people at the field. I was satisfied because they went easy on the worst players, so I had the top stat line of everyone there. I was so caught up in the action I realized that I had spent an extra hour on the baseball diamond. I had to rush to get my brother, so we could get to the zoo. The second I walked into the room my brother was giving me the evil eye. “What took you so long?”

“I got caught up in a baseball game, but now we can go to the zoo.”

“Fine, we should leave now.”

When we got to the zoo, the first thing we saw was the African part of the zoo. My brother marveled at the sights of every animal. A gazelle that could be seen anywhere, in any zoo was special to my brother. Going through the zoo was torture because I had seen all the animals ten trillion times. My brother and I don’t see eye to eye on zoos literally and figuratively. First he is shorter than me so our eyes don’t ever meet unless I’m kneeling. He also finds pleasure in staring at the same animals over and over at every zoo. He accuses me of being a hypocrite because I watch Sportscenter on the weekends over and over again. “Can we leave now?” I ask my brother.

“It will be a good 10 more minutes.”

“Great, another hour of this torture.”

“Why do you dislike zoos?” he asks me.

Fortunately I was prepared for the question. “The reason zoos don’t appeal to me is because they are stuck in captivity. I see no difference between photos and seeing an animal in captivity except that one is moving. Seeing an animal in the wild has a different feeling because it is more special because you are there seeing an animal that is in its home which makes it seem like a one time moment instead of an artificial feeling from captivity.”

“I understand your point, but it is still great to see animals that you might have not seen in the wild.”

“Fine, let’s get this over with.”

I realized my phone was buzzing in my pocket. I picked it up and answered it, my mom was on the other line.

“It’s time for dinner, so you need to wrap up and meet us at the room.”

“Okay, we will be there in 10 minutes.”

I turned off my phone and reported the “bad” news to my brother. We left the zoo and headed back to the room. When we got there our parents were waiting for us. My dad spoke first. “Kids, you have to make the most of your opportunities because this isn’t 2015, this ship moves pretty fast.”

Just then an announcement came over the loudspeaker. “We have hit an iceberg and we are going down. Families should proceed to the exit where a life raft will be taking them to the closest land possible.”

I was scared. It was the Titanic all over again. My brother and I were really scared, but our parents were comforting us. They kept telling us everything would be okay. I could tell from their facial expressions that they were not confident about our chances about getting back to New York City. We rushed to the exit and found that the captain wasn’t lying. There were members of the crew already lifting families into lifeboats. When everyone in my family was safely in the lifeboat I took a sigh of relief. I also made a promise never to go on a cruise ship again. Once we were safely on the lifeboat we were following the lifeboats ahead of us. After what felt like hours we finally reached a block of land that no one could figure out. My family went to explore the island while other people used whatever they salvaged from the wreck to make a makeshift campsite. My first impression of the island was that I could really enjoy this vacation. As we journeyed through the island we came across many fruits like coconuts and bananas. There were also birds, many lizards, and many unexpected inhabitants of the island. We spied on a family of jaguars. The second we saw them my brother understood my hatred for zoos. “You are definitely right about this — zoos take away the special feeling of actually seeing an animal in its natural habitat,” he told me.

“Speaking of natural habitats, why are there jaguars on this island?” I asked.

“We should explore a little bit more and see what other surprises we can find,” my mom chimed in.

We walked around the island but came across nothing special, but then we heard a scream coming from our campsite. “Help,” screamed someone.

We rushed to our campsite and came across something we were not expecting. The jaguars we had seen earlier had cornered our peers from the cruise. Instinctively my dad threw a coconut in the general direction of one of the jaguars. Surprisingly, it greedily chased the coconut. So then my mom, my brother, and I all picked up coconuts and threw them in the general direction of the jaguars. They all chased the coconuts as our peers scrambled to safety. Once they reached the top of the hill where we were standing they all thanked us. My mom suggested we do a head count. After the final count there were 42 people including us. There were 27 adults and 15 kids. After the head count we established a campsite and split up into 3 groups of 14. Each group was assigned a different job. The first group was assigned to build the shelter. The second group had to gather food and try to find fresh water, and finally the third group had the job of making weapons for hunting. I never imagined having jaguar and coconut for dinner. My family and I were in the second group. As long as we get saved I would have bragging rights over all my friends back in New York City. This might not have been my dream vacation, but we have the ability to make a fun vacation and probably get a refund. We could invest that money into a new video game console or an upgrade for my iPhone 5S. For right now I could only dream, but I look forward to a good future. The most depressing part was that there happened to be no cell service on the island, so we couldn’t contact anyone for help.

Even though we had explored the island, we went off again in search of food and a resource that provided fresh water that would not leave a salty taste in our mouths. In 20 minutes we had collected 90 coconuts, 54 bananas, and 28 unidentified fruits. As we went farther into the forest we came across many different surprises. The first surprise was some unexpected inhabitants of this mysterious island. We found pigs, chickens, and goats. I was elated — we could have pork and chicken. The second were crops of vegetables that I would have never willingly ate until today. Then we found an actual cottage. We rushed inside to find the owner. When we went inside I was hit with a rancid smell. I predicted it was a dead body. I wasn’t wrong. The owner was lying on the floor. I was the only one who took this as a blessing. I ran upstairs and started shoveling all of his possessions into a pile. When I went into the kitchen my mom was holding up things I would have never considered as delicacies. She found flour and sugar and bread. After all the supplies were rounded up, we ransacked his crops, and we now had potatoes, carrots, and tomatoes. We knew that with such a large group there was a high chance we would run out fast. When we got to the campsite, we divided up the loot equally. Since I was the one who discovered most of his inedible supplies I kept all the things from the upstairs to myself. I was surprised when the rest of the campsite awarded us the mattress that I had found. We were voted the leaders of the group for our bravery and our discoveries. Once the celebrations were over I realized we had forgot about the pigs, goats, and chickens that I had discovered earlier. I gathered my group from before and we went out to hunt these animals. When we got there we realized we had made a major mistake. The other animals around had gotten to the rest of the farm animals. It was finally night and we were ready to settle in for our first night in the mysterious island. Right before I dozed off I had an idea. I woke up my mom. “Mom, we should take the cabin for ourselves,” I said.

“We shouldn’t go alone. We should take other people who were in our group. We don’t want to be alone in case we get exiled. We don’t want this to be like Lord of the Flies where the numbers are disproportionately unfair to one side.”

We woke up the rest of our group, stole all of the weapons and all of the food. Once we were settled in, we actually had a good shot at surviving. We knew we were outnumbered, but we were athletic and we had the supplies. I created a nefarious plan for the next night that my peers agreed would definitely work. I finally fell asleep and when I woke up everyone was working hard outside.  When I went outside my mom sent me to the other men to hunt. When I finally found them, they had a large amount of dead animals. I had seen the wrath of a tiger on my family vacation to India, but I had never seen a pile of all those exotic animals. I screamed, “What are those?”

One of the men responded, “Your food for the rest of your life.”

“I’m going to eat jaguar for the rest of my life?”

“Shut up, we’re about to get a wolf and her babies,” my brother said.

“Screw you,” I snapped.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry.”

“I feel kind of stressed, this experience has been really tough on me. Can I talk to you in private?” I asked him.  

When we walked over to the makeshift armory, I selected a wooden spear.

“Whatever you want, make it snappy,” he told me.

“Why am I the one taking charge if I’m only 13?” I asked him.

“You’re not, it’s just that you’ve just gotten lucky a couple of times.”

“Whatever you say, young child,” I said sarcastically.

“We should head back.”

“Ok,” I responded.

As we got back to the other men, I looked through the pile and I realized that we had good food and skilled hunters. They had goats and pigs, but also a tiger and giraffes. I decided to spy on the rest of the people who crash landed on the island. I didn’t want to go alone, so I fetched my brother. As we approached our old campsite we could hear faint voices to our left. I also heard faint voices to my right. We went to the right first. Fourteen people there were setting up a new campsite. On the left there were fourteen more people setting up a campsite. They were all preparing weapons for the war that was potentially coming in the future. I realized we had been spotted. Our cover was compromised. My brother and I had a huge advantage over everyone and we were armed. Everyone else had come nowhere close to finishing their weapons. We made it back way before anyone came close. I said to my brother, “When we get back home remind me to create a video game about our time on this island, this will make a lot of money.”

“True that.”

When we reached the cottage we reported the news to the rest of our group. My mom announced to the rest of the group, “We are extremely well hidden. Thank god for this guy who left us all these pleasantries, but my husband and I have a surprise that will give us an advantage. We found 2 fully loaded rifles, 3 loaded pistols, 1 machine gun, and 15 rounds of ammo. This is going to put us over the top.”

“Let’s catch the other groups by surprise — we should spare no one,” one of the men suggested.

“Advance!” my dad screamed.

We strolled through the bushes with confidence because we had two advantages, weapons and the element of surprise. We started with the machine gun. It totally caught everyone by surprise, we first shot at the people on our left with the machine gun and pistols and the people on our right with the rifles. There was so much blood everywhere, I felt like throwing up. “From everything we’ve been through, this is by far the worst,” I said to my brother while regurgitating my lunch of pork and coconut.

“Don’t worry,” I heard my brother respond.

After I counted 28 casualties, we went in and ransacked their supplies. While we were on the beach I noticed a ship in the distance, it was another Anthem of the Seas ship. I ordered one of the men the shoot one of the rifles in the air. We emptied one magazine, but the ship failed to notice us. We were so close but the ship never came, after our failed attempt we sat down on the blood spattered beach. My mom had the idea of icebreakers so that we could get to know the rest of the group. The two rules were that you had to find someone who was within 3 years of your age and they couldn’t be related to you. I was paired up with another person my age who was very nice. Her name was Sharon and I really liked her. I think I was in love for the first time in my life. My brother was nodding and egging me on. I got to know her a little bit better over the time with this one icebreaker. I found out that we have a lot in common; we both love Law and Order SVU and Chicago PD. I revealed my deepest secret about my opinion of this whole experience.

“I want to be respected at home, so I am using this as a way to earn respect. Honestly, this experience has been stressful and tough and there are just times when I can’t handle it. I want to be viewed as a strong person, but there are times when the reality of what is happening gets to me and I think that this conversation has led me to a place where I can think about the true effect of this experience. It’s like a Law and Order mass shootout, I am here to experience it in the moment. At home when I’m watching an episode of Law and Order I cover my eyes and get scared, but here I’m not alone or in the confinement of my home, I can’t be the weak fragile person I truly am. I want to present myself in the best way possible.”

She said, “I think this is another way for us to bond. I think part of the reason I stayed in the shadows is because this experience has been terrible. It was supposed to be a fun vacation for my parents, my older sister, and I. But I got separated from them and I don’t know where they are. And then as I end up on this island it gets worse and worse, all the blood and gore, I experience on TV but being here, experiencing it, puts it in a whole new dimension. Just when I thought, life couldn’t get any worse I meet you.” She broke down into tears and I did my best to comfort her.

“You can live with us back in the city.”

We were so caught up in the conversation that everyone had switched partners and my mom had switched the game. “I’d like you to meet my brother,” I told her. “We fight a lot, but rely on each other in the darkest of times,” I added on.

As I took her to him I was starting to doubt that I had made the right decision, because he had a lot of information about me. He knew some of my worst secrets and knew a lot about some of the bad things I have done. He repeatedly has caught me live streaming New York Rangers games when I was supposed to be doing homework. He knew things about my life at school that my parents had no idea about. In the end, I ended up going with my original decision and let her meet my younger brother. After all, we had been through a lot. I seriously doubted that he was going to jeopardize the impeccable record I had with my parents. I put my trust in him. If he lost my trust there was a high chance he would never get it back.

My brother was actually very cordial with Sharon. He was very warm and forthcoming. The three of us talked until dinner time and for the first time since arriving on the island, we had a full out feast. We had chicken in a coconut sauce with bananas for dessert. It was a delicious meal for a mysterious island. After dinner, we settled in for the night. All the kids were in the bedroom of the cottage and the adults took the bottom floor of the cottage. There were only 4 kids so we had a substantial amount of space. We agreed on a plan to alternate the mattress and the floor. My brother and I agreed to take the floor the first night. In the middle of the night, I needed to use the bathroom. I took out my flashlight and went through the house to explore and see if there was a bathroom with indoor plumbing. To my surprise, I found it. I was astonished. I wanted to keep this bathroom a secret, but I knew that this was impossible. After I got back I dozed off again and it was morning in a snap.

In the morning the men set out to hunt and the women stayed back to fix up the home. At the time we went out, there were no animals in sight.  It was a fail that left us very upset with ourselves. The island was a very suspicious place. The afternoon was spent playing games and hanging out. I spent time with my brother and Sharon. Being on this island opened up a whole new world for me. In the end I think that I’m starting to enjoy my life on the island.

Trich

10:00 p.m. I should probably be going to bed.

I turn on my lamp and turn off the main light, plunging myself into bed. I prop my leg up on my nightstand, right in the lamplight. The light illuminates my leg, revealing stout and short hairs. They dance in the light. They sing to me. Pick me, pick me. I lick my lips.

I pluck my tweezer from the drawer on my nightstand. I click it a few times, listening to the clank of metal on metal. Slowly, I bring the tweezer to my leg. I grasp a hair. Pull it out. Savor the delicious spark it creates in my nerves. I crave it. I crave more.

I pull, hair after hair, from my leg. The tweezer does an elaborate dance across my skin, biting my prey and swallowing it. I can feel the little hair vanishing from my leg, pulled up by its roots, like a child picking a flower. I have been waiting all day for this, for the quiet time before bed when I can pull at my luxury, aided by the tweezer.

While picking at my leg, I think about my day. I think about how hard it is to pull with just my nails, with the prying eyes of teachers and classmates. I remember them asking what I was doing, assuming I was peeling my skin, and turning away in disgust. But it’s worth it. Each pull brings a sting that feels like beauty in the form of what most people call pain.

I tire of plucking my right leg and move to my left leg. It feels just as good, just as worth the time. When I finish, I stick my foot on the table and scour it for hairs. I pick at a mound of skin that holds an ingrown hair. It bursts open and the hair leaps out, wriggling around, glad for freedom. I take it. I pull it. The nerves send the feeling to my brain. I do another one.

I do the other foot. The logical part of my head screams for me to drop the tweezers, to turn off the lamp, to lie down and charge up for school tomorrow. I don’t listen. I can’t listen. I don’t care. I climb up my body. Legs again. Thighs. I savor the delicious feast of removing hair.

Next, I do the stubby, prickly hairs in my pubic area. I open my underwear and look down, selecting the thick, black hairs to rip out.

Armpits. Hands. Fingers. I slowly become full from my feast. Slowly.

Upper lip. Nostrils. The tweezers go everywhere I need them to go, sliding out hairs like drawers slide out of cabinets.

I lay the tweezer down. Some hairs stick out of it, but most litter the nightstand and the carpet in between the nightstand and the bed. Still, my body begs for more. It wants the stress-relieving reap of the harvest. But I can’t do more. I need to sleep.

11:00 p.m. I turn off the lamp.

I am ashamed. I could have gone to bed early. I should have. But I chose not to. Instead, I pulled. The logical part of my brain yells at me. I need to control myself. Everyday, I promise myself that next time I will go straight to bed. Everyday, I break that promise.

 

It seems that I will always be a trichotillomaniac.

Umber (Excerpt)

Chapter One

She walked out of the room, tears still pouring down her face. It was her fault, all her fault, that no one had come back. She had been the one to convince them. She told them it would be an adventure. Then she had backed out; she had been too scared to go. Her brother, her sister, her parents went on while she stayed home awaiting their return. No bodies were ever found.

She had lost everything that day, and now had to turn to the one person she had sworn to never turn to. She despised herself every day for having to turn to him. She hadn’t seen him since her parents had told him to get out of the house. They had shouted at him that he was a traitor and he was no son of theirs. She had been a mere eight-year-old, and had watched the scene through the crack in the door. She watched the feet storm around the small room as if in some strange ethereal dance.

“Miss?”

She turned, her tangled black hair whipping and almost hitting him in the face. He took a step back and she gave a small nod in apology.

“You forgot this,” he handed her a crisp white envelope and she tried not to let her fear at this trivial mistake show.

“Thank you.” Her small, but crisp voice rang through the silent hallway. She tried to sound as though she didn’t care, as though she had no feelings. She tried to hide all her emotions, and for a moment, it was as though the crack in her heart that had started when her brother left had broken completely. A moment later it was gone and the man looking at her had to wonder if it had been there at all.

It was as though, for a split second, she actually had traces of humanity left in her. Traces that were otherwise abolished or concealed. Then it was gone, as swiftly as it had come. The shivering man walked back into his office and to the mounds of new, but not entirely unexpected, paperwork that lay before him.

The girl turned and ran her finger over the large scar on her shoulder, then on the smaller ones that dotted both of her arms. A sign of triumph, of success, of bravery. To her, they meant none of that. They were a sign of the cowardice she had shown on one day, and how one small act was all it took to change everything.

She was trying hard to not let the tears show. She wiped them away one more time, adjusted her tank top, and walked through the front doors. She stared at the way people walked away from her. She couldn’t understand why, then she remembered about the large scar that ran in a crescent from eye to lip. It was supposed to show her bravery. She had gotten it from the latest fight and knew it had been broadcasted everywhere. Warrior battles often were. She tried to ignore the stares of gross fascination from linguists, mages, and artisans, as she walked through the heavily populated streets to the train. She pressed her living sector and waited for a purple train to take her away from all the staring eyes and abruptly self-conscious people. Where she was going, no one would look twice at her. She would be just another monotone face in the crowd, and those who did recognize her would know better than to stare.

“Greetings.”

She turned and saw Dane standing next to her. She shoved the dagger, which had been drawn out of instinct, back into her boot and glared at him. He creased his eyebrows slightly, making the scar that ran across his forehead crease. The center of the scab peeled off, making a drop of blood run down his face.

“You know, if you keep doing that, that wound will never heal,” she responded in a hushed voice. He glared at her before doing it again.

“How’d today go?”

“Usual.”

“You mean terrible?”

“Obviously,” she replied sarcastically. Dane was one of three who could detect the fear and anxiety that still traced her voice and he knew instantly why.

“You know, you could have picked another sponsor. I’m sure they’d be lining up to be with you.” Dane’s tone was kind and consoling, but she could sense the hidden bitterness behind those words. He had wanted so badly to be first, he had been born for it. His family had trained him and even at age seven, he had been ranked first even before the ten-year-old recruits.

“Actually, no one else wanted me, thought the battles were all staged.”

“What?” Dane’s voice sounded shocked which barely concealed his savage pleasure at her being turned away.

“He blackmailed them all, I expect, so they’ll have to go with the next best, which just so happens to be you.” Her voice was listless, hopeless, and defeated. A tone no warrior with any pride would ever use. Dane was shocked at the way she gave up. He didn’t know her past. Didn’t know why the girl dreaded being anywhere close to her new sponsor. All he knew was that he could have a chance at beating his best friend.

He stared at her as she responded with a weak nod, then looked out to the dead grass and fallen trees that accompanied every train ride.

The sky was a strange greenish yellow color today. It had changed slightly from the green-grey that it had been for the last few weeks. She stared at it for awhile, watching the swirling clouds and flashing sun. In between two clouds, she could just make out the exploding star in the distance.

She remembered sitting up on the roof with her brother and sister. A single tear slipped out of her eye and dropped onto the floor. Dane looked at her, but didn’t move. He knew better than to move.

She brushed past the others, ignoring their shouts of indignation. She didn’t care what they thought; they all knew she could beat them to an inch of their life if she wanted to.

“Bye then.” Dane’s voice was a forced monotone that she knew all too well.

They are watching us, always, and we can’t help you although we wish we could, was what she forced into her mind, as she fought to keep another wave of tears back.

“Bye,” she said, choked up, then ran back towards her house. She couldn’t believe that she was crying in public. The last time she had done that was when she was eight. When she learned the price of her cowardice.

She sprinted past people, turning one way and another. They all had some marks on them, at least one mark that showed they were warriors. They got their first on the day they were taken from their families. At age eight, a person is deemed whether they are to stay with their family and be trained, or if they are to be ripped away screaming and become a warrior or a chieftain. As a warrior, you are trained rigorously, without rest, to become the perfect soldier, to think of no one. They are human after all, so society accepts they can not be perfect. So, they must only be imperfect with other warriors. No artisans, linguists, mages, and most importantly, no chieftains can see them weak. As for chieftains training, everyone would rather be a warrior, even if it means certain death.

The girl lay on her bed, thinking about her family. They knew something. She had decided that, who had told the government that they knew? The answer came to her lips effortlessly, the person she despised the most, the person she had sworn never to talk to again, the person who was now her sponsor. Him… she couldn’t think about him anymore. She couldn’t go back to who shewho they both used to be.

She jumped up abruptly and the unsturdy building shook with her. Below, she heard the sounds of startled warriors jumping to their feet as well. She had shown so much weakness that, had she not been the best fighter in Umber, she would have been eradicated. Glancing in the mirror, she stood shocked at her face, it was white with streaks of red showing where her red tears had fallen.

Her eyes were a bloodshot blue, and her black hair was lying knotted and messy but almost perfectly straight. With her blood red lips she looked like a vampire. Letting out a soft laugh at the thought of vampires, she grabbed her washing basin. Her face returned to its usual pale white and her eyes were already shifting back to its dark swirling purple.

She stared into her own eyes and felt as though she was being transported to another place. A place where she would be safe. A place where she could be happy. A place where she could do whatever she wanted. The thought of safety was so comforting that she started smiling. Then she realized it was all fake. She was not safe. They saw everything, heard everything, knew what everyone was thinking. The illusion of safety was all it ever would be, an illusion. Even her closest friends couldn’t be trusted. They had all been trained with one instinct burned into every sinew of every muscle, of every cell, of every bone in their bodies survival of the fittest.

She walked out, sword swinging menacingly on her hip and watched as warriors nodded to her, acknowledging her record time to return to unfeeling. It was a bit of a game between them, who could recover the fastest after a weakening. She smirked to herself, she had beat her own record by 13 minutes.

“Warriors!” They all turned as one to see a mage standing in the center of the commons. It was a grassy field where the warriors practiced in their free time. A mage had set up an enchantment where anyone who died on the field would resurrect a few minutes later. She grinned faintly to herself, this would be interesting.

“At the end of this week, we are starting the Tournament.”

Murmurs of excitement rippled throughout the commons. The Tournament happens once every four years. During the Tournament warriors take longer to come back the more they are killed during the games. If you are killed too many times, you never come back. It removes the weakest, leaving only the strongest alive.

The girl smirked and snorted softly to herself. She planned to win to prove she wasn’t weak, to prove the death of her family made her stronger, not weaker. To prove that she was stronger than who she used to be.

A D-i-s-s-i-p-a-t-i-n-g Sting

I was climbing in my favorite tree when I heard a ruffle in the bushes. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew there was trouble. I didn’t want to take any chances, so I remained in the tree for two hours until I knew what vicious predator was in the haunted shrubs. It was probably a sabertooth cat, or at least, something like that. I wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it wanted me. I looked around and saw everything that I was so familiar with. The tree with a white birch trunk, the neon orange berry that had been sitting there for so long. I listened to the babbling river about 300 feet south. I could never find a place quiet enough to listen to water in Philly.

As soon as I had gotten home, I grabbed my bicycle, dropped off my backpack, and headed straight to the woods. I couldn’t take another second in the house. Yesterday, my parents decided to throw away all of my childhood photos, toys, clothes, and everything that I had ever made or constructed when I was a kid. There was one photo that they disposed of that I loved more than any other: the one of my parents and I laughing with each other in the baseball game. But they threw it all in the trash. Instead of my precious childhood bedroom, my parents prioritized a storage room that would most likely go unused.

The river was the only thing that kept me from losing my sanity. The river was the one thing that I could always count on to be there. It put me at ease and was why I kept on going back day after day, week after week.

If I didn’t have that one small stream, I don’t know what I would do. I smelled an aroma that I could never smell in the city. The fragrance of moist dew made me know that I was safe and stress free. Even though I had so much on my plate in terms of school and my family, I liked to go to this one spot in the forest and relax.

But as I felt the rough bark of the maple that I was leaning against, I sensed the ruffling again. A shock went straight through my body as if I had been electrocuted. First my arms began to become stiff, then my legs, and then I froze. Why did it have to be now that I couldn’t move? For all I know, it could be on me right now and injecting poison into my body. After what felt like hours, my arms and legs started to feel fine again and I scampered right down the tree as soon as I could.

This meant one thing that I didn’t want to have to do: go back to my house and my parents. Normally, I would stay in the forest until it got dark after my parents had already left to go to their dumb jobs at the bar. I guess I would just try to avoid them and study for the spelling bee. It’s not like they would come anyways. I took my bike, and rode home intentionally slowly. When I got home I started to sprint up the stairs to my room. My dad stopped me and snapped at me saying, “Hey kid — ”  

I stopped him. “Leroy, my name is Leroy.”

He continued, “Your mother thinks that I should not take full ownership of the bar, but I disagree.” I had already stopped paying attention. I noticed that my mom had also stopped taking him seriously. She knew that whatever she said, her husband would have had some disagreeing retort. He continued, “Life’s about taking risks. I want to do what I want, but she’s holding me back!” He went on to ramble for another five minutes, but I didn’t listen. After about three more minutes of dispute and loud bickering, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Listen! Both of you have a point, but solve it on your own,” I yelled as I walked away. My dad shot me a cold look of disappointment, which nearly made me tear up. Why did they have to do it? They couldn’t just be like any other parents that I know and get along. They couldn’t go on any trips or vacations, couldn’t go on bike rides, couldn’t go to any of my spelling bees, couldn’t even get me a gift for my birthday. Well actually they got me an “Ericksen’s Bar” baseball hat that was 80 percent off on a dusty shelf in right above the bathroom sign. To me that classifies more as a gift with air quotes.

I spent the day at school feeling agitated, wondering if my parents would ever get along like normal. Normal. It seems so simple, but it’s not. At least for my parents. Whatever. I searched for the sting on my body, although, to be honest, I forgot where it was. I knew it was there, I just couldn’t seem to find it. All of a sudden it came back to me, I felt a small pinch in my arm. I said out loud, “Ow.” I don’t really know why, it just felt sorta good to say it out loud. The next moment, my mom came inside the room and asked me if I was alright. That took me for a surprise. I muttered to her, “Yeah, I’m fine,” even though I wasn’t. Later that night, while I was surfing my dictionary, I kept wondering why my mom showed concern. It could have been for something dumb like maybe to one-up my dad, but whatever it was, I actually enjoyed it.

The next day, something even weirder happened. I was about to walk to school, but she stopped me. She asked me “Leroy, why don’t you come to a couple doctor  appointments  with me and show the doctor your injury?” She didn’t even know what it was, but I accepted nevertheless. Is this what it felt like to have a mother that cared? If so, it seemed like I could get used to it. Apparently, she had made two appointments already which I was willing to skip school to go to.

“Mom, why are you so caring all of a sudden?”

“No reason,” she muttered. I saw her look down in shame. I knew there was a reason, but I didn’t feel like asking her any more questions. I felt the stinging once again. I winced in pain. My mom held me as if I was about to faint. She asked, “Are you alright Leroy?” I nodded a bit nervously.

For the next two weeks everything seemed to fall into place. My mom actually asked me about my homework and made sure that I got it done. She also picked me up from school instead of going home on the filthy bus. I insisted I didn’t need her to do it, but she did not cease, and it felt great. Even my dad, the most stoic person I knew, the person who reads science books every night, had a conversation with me. He actually seemed to enjoy talking to me.

“Hey son.” Son, I found that name delightful. “Do you need any help with your homework?” I thought about my science homework, I didn’t need much help, but I took advantage of the opportunity and let him help me. We worked on physics, and believe it or not, he actually gave me some helpful information.

I asked, “Dad, you know a lot about science and you’re obviously interested in it, why don’t you become a scientist or even a science teacher?”

“Oh, that dream was exterminated as soon as your mom got pregnant.”

I was shocked and decided it was not right to ask him anything more.

“Okay,” I murmured, “I think that I understand the science now, thanks.”

He trudged away. Although I did feel bad, the conversation was an eye-opening discussion and my dad actually talked to me about something besides the dirty bar.

I couldn’t help but follow my dad to his room and stand outside the door. I heard a loud bang on the table and then muttering. My mom, overhearing the anger, tried to placate him. She mentioned, “Karl, I know you have aspired to be a scientist for a long time but now that Leroy is in our lives you must focus on him.” I felt honored in a way. I had never heard my parents speak about me that way. I went back to my room pleasantly. They had finally treated me with value, but this “special treatment” had only lasted about a week so far, I doubted it would carry on.

Finally the day of the Philadelphia spelling bee had arrived. It felt as though there was ice in my veins. I couldn’t wait. Weeks of training had led to this one moment. I saw the crowd, all 30 of them, anticipating the success of their own children. My parents were actually there. I had barely even mentioned the spelling bee to them before, but they showed up, and I couldn’t be more energized. They were even holding each other’s hands as if they were nervous for me. Everyone was practicing spelling as if it would help them. I saw parents holding up flashcards to test their kid’s spelling.  There was a buzz in the air as everyone came to their seats. Chills ran down my back as I approached the lectern. The first word the moderator gave to me was claustrophobia. I spelled out C-L-A-U-S-T-R-O-P-H-O-B-I-A. I heard the noise of approval from the moderator’s table. I felt very relieved. That serene peace of the river ramble flashed in my head and I was ready. All of a sudden, the thought of the stinging and pain came back to me, but this time I was over it, I didn’t let it bother me. I went up to give my next answer. The word was “conservative.” I spelled it wrong but that didn’t matter, I still received applause from my parents. That was all I needed, that was all I wanted.

Save Me For I Am Amazing

Dear Great One, a.k.a. the one who brought me into existence… using a wonderful ballpoint pen,

I regret to “inform” you that I fear I am to die soon, but as the writer of my tale, my dear, you knew that already. I implore you to reconsider my upcoming demise. After all, you gave me a family to love and cherish, despite my obvious abandonment issues. I know that I have been fortunate the last two years of my life, what with overcoming my obvious abandonment issues and finding people who love me and will continue to love me as much as I love them. Ahhhh, I remember the days when the unrequited love I felt was a daily occurrence. Thanks to you it ‘twas not to be. And I know I should not be pestering you with my problem, DEATH, but really DEATH.

We both are aware of your disorganized persona, but we also are both led to believe you need to be organized because you are afraid of the messy world. Due to our, shall we say, looming abandonment issues. One last thing before I list all the reasons why you shouldn’t kill me, because I fear you won’t be convinced and then I will DIE without my last question having been answered. I will die with my last question just a whisper in the night. My last question is… did you give me abandonment issues because of yours? Because that would be a truly horrible fate for me just because of your trifles in life. Without further ado,

My list:

  1. I am a good listener.
  2. I am sarcastic. Amusingly so.
  3. I am not rude to anyone but you.
  4. I have abandonment issues, so take pity on a kind soul.
  5. I have shown others what little love there is in my heart.
  6. I am observant.
  7. I am the first character you ever loved to write about and created a happily ever after for.

Sincerely,

The Person You Love To Hate

 

Post Scriptum: your readers love me more than you so they will abandon you and add to your abandonment issues.

***

Dear Declan (pronounced the clan),

I noticed that you didn’t include your actual name in your letter. I regret to “inform” you, even though you already knew this, I detest your ambiguity. I can see you laughing right now because we both know you are just a figment of my imagination, yet I am talking to you. That doesn’t make me crazy… right? Okay, now I am officially insane. You go off your meds for one day. And now you are shaking your head and laughing. STOP! You are displaying an utter disregard for my feelings on the subject of my craziness. Now, I see you shaking your head amusedly at my mumblings.

You got me sidetracked. The point of me taking time out of my busy day of book signings, meet and greets, and meetings about a movie deal — might I add, to show you the time I don’t have for you — was to address your inquiries as to your death. So, I am going to kill you off. I guess I am sorry to see you go, but think of all the buzz. Buzz like the swarm of bees that are going to kill you. Buzz sparked by the inevitable distress of my — sorry — your fans. The fangirls will write alternate endings,  freak out, and blog or whatever else their kind does. My — sorry again — your fans will not abandon me due to your death because that would mean abandoning you. You are me after all, but only a small part. That is how I know that you are currently going on and on about how I make you feel insecure about your worth. Also, your list was bothersome because you didn’t list any reasons. Author to author your argument was weak and not very put together. I assume that your sub par writing stems from writing in an idyllic world where your writing is not critiqued and scrutinized down to the use of a comma in the 52nd sentence of your 5th book. Also, you are a man, that probably helps matters.

I might as well answer your last question. I am so glad I get to say that because I was never going to get a break from your nagging. I did not give you abandonment issues because of my own, so stop being so dramatic. Woman up!

In conclusion, watch out for the buzzing in your ears.

                       

Sincerely,

The Woman Warning You About the Bees

 

My dear, one last thing before you can’t hear me anymore: don’t EVER address me as my dear, it is condescending.

Numb Until Now

Nothing seemed real.

T.V. shows didn’t matter. Holidays seemed fake. Happiness seemed unobtainable. There were those joyful moments, they were tiny, but still there.

I fell.

I fell hard.

I fell into my head, into the deepest part of my mind, for a long time it passed in a blur. It lasted the entirety of sixth grade, and left me in a tough position. I can’t remember that year. It was nothing. Memories didn’t stick. I just remember that feeling, the crippling feeling of nothing. Just numbness. I had lost my brother, and myself. I lost them to other people, substances, and materials; I was not good enough for them. I don’t think anything was.

If you asked anyone, they would say I was happy or always laughing. No one saw, and no one asked. I don’t blame them. I didn’t realize I was such a good actor.

Those who did,

I lied to.

My mind would scream help, but my tongue would tie and say, “I’m fine.”

Fine became my favorite word. I walked a long and lonely road. I folded up and only walked by myself. It was dark and lonely and I was always prodded with thoughts… dark thoughts.

“Are you sure people will like that?” They would ask, judgmental eyes sizing me up.

“Yeah, I like it,” I would answer.

“All the more reason to change,” they would snicker back.

They always won. They didn’t care. Their goal was to hurt me. At first I believed they couldn’t be stopped and no one would help to stop them. They would judge my jokes, how I talk and dress. I’ve built a fence, big enough to keep them out. Although, they find a way in. They do come back. They climb up my brain and stick their sharp fangs into my mind and begin to suck the hope, happiness, and confidence I had found. Now I have defenders, people I trust, and myself. When I ask them questions the always give me a positive answer.

“Is that okay?” I would ask, waiting for them to beat me down.

“Of course. That’s great,” they would answer.

It was a new attitude. Something I was trying, and I decided that those monsters that came back were worth fighting. That sickening feeling they gave me didn’t have to be permanent. The girl who felt lost and sad, who needed someone but that one person was gone, didn’t have to be me.

That person came back.

My brother had come back, as well as his new girlfriend. With them they brought the monsters.

They came back telling me I had lost my brother to yet another thing. I built a relationship with that girl and she also gave me those positive words.

“Jemma, it’s perfect.” She would smile.

The monsters were shocked; they didn’t believe I had broken my shell and grown. There I was suddenly, armed with a sword and shield ready to fend for myself. The monsters fled and I was given more confidence. Now I walk the road with my new attitude and my new tools.

I’m ready to take on the world.

Non-Existence

Blue sky, black birds, and fresh warm air. I stand up in the crazing atmosphere and find myself standing in the center of technicolor. Why am I here? And where is ‘here’? Now snow is twinkling from the beautiful clear sky. This must be a dream. I have to wake myself up from this crazy and obnoxious dream. I have to get out of my bed and go to school before my mom kills me. But, I can’t wake up. So I pinch myself. Harder. Stronger. Nothing happens. Pain doesn’t even exist. From a distance, I see a person coming towards me. I can see that it’s a girl based on her long, silky, and beautiful brunette hair. She is wearing a white gown. Miles apart from her, I can see a tall man with another woman, holding each other’s hands. I can see their bare feet and their ghostly, pale-white skin. What a peaceful dream. Maybe it would be better if I don’t wake up. Suddenly, the girl wearing the white gown approaches my right side and quietly whispers, “This is real, this isn’t real, this is real….”

 

“So Marina, why did Dr. Kepler write this love poem based on his vision of photography instead of the first woman he met?” Mr.West asks me, carefully. I am in English class. Did I really just fall asleep — so long that I had a dream? What a shame.

“Um… because — uh… oh photography… yeah because umm…” I never struggle to answer questions — especially in English — where my focus is so strong that I get straight A’s all the way. I can feel everyone’s eyes and faces on me like bees stinging on my skin.

I never want to or even think of disappointing Mr.West. He is the best teacher. In fact, he is more than just a teacher to me. He is the reason I bother to get up and go to school. His hysterical sense of humor always brightens my day.

“Well… Marina, would you like give it another try?” He looks at me — I can tell he is worried. I am worried too.

“Yeah — I uh… I think — ’’

“Looks like you lost track of our reading session. Why?” he shrugs and forces himself to grin. “It seems a little too boring for you?” he teases.

I hear a laugh coming from behind me. Gossip from fangirls and skinny cheerleaders; I’m screwed.

“Mr. West… I — I didn’t mean to — ”

“Atta girl, take a joke now will you? And save those daydreams for later.” He winks at me and then walks away in silence, a sign of tranquility but also disgrace.

“Anyone else like to give it a try?”

“Me! Mr. West, I would love to correct Ms. Marina with her sweet dreams,” Stella Maxwell says. Of course she would be the one to correct someone like me at this moment with that filthy attitude.

“Alright Stella to the max, let’s see what you’ve got.” Did Mr. West seriously just call her “Stella to the max”? Or is he just messing around? I hope he’s not getting flirty with her the way she always sends blossoms to him.

“Thank you, Mr. West. Dr. Kepler didn’t intend to write this poem based on photography, but instead to theorize the retrospective of life and death in order to visualize his past life as well as human reincarnation, shown, in general, from the hidden messages in such photos, especially those from the 1800s.”

“Good, Stella! I don’t think there is any other better way to put that in a sentence. Nice job.” He patted her on shoulder.

Oh, I wish this was still a dream.

 

I walk into the girl’s bathroom. Swearing with middle-finger drawings and other gang symbols on the wall, an ugly scent, and thank god — empty stalls! No one would have to hear my irritable, god-made, yellow-nurtured liquid flowing in between my legs.

“You can’t carry that shit around!” a girl yells as she slams the door to the bathroom. Great. An angry cat fight. “And you can’t be in here!” Is she talking to me?

“Why you gotta be like that?” a guy’s voice. Arrogant. I quickly try to grab toilet paper until I feel emptiness; the little white leftover spots are all that is sticking on to the finished roll of cardboard. I just close my eyes and cross my fingers, hoping for teleportation to exist.

“You carrying that around is going to get you kicked out of school for good.”

I hold my breath and pray that they don’t notice my bright pink ugly shoes that my blind step-grandmother bought me last week. I appreciate her affection toward me, even though I’m not her real granddaughter, but I hate all the things that she buys me (especially since she thinks of me as her ‘little princess’). I feel the sweat of hopelessness all over my body. I close my eyes tighter, as if I’m ready to die. They are arguing like crazy and I assume he’s carrying a gun. I barely listen to the conversation — all I can really hear is the two calling each other names like stupid little kids.

“Put that thing down, you asshole!”

“Don’t you ever try to tell me what to do. Do you think I’m scared to blow this whole stupid school up, huh? ‘Cause that’s what I’ma do if you don’t shut the hell up!”

“YOU STUPID SCHOOL TERROR — ” The girl stops talking; the guy has covered his hand over her mouth so she won’t talk back. The moment I hear a gunshot is a moment of such extreme hatred and anger that all I can do was disappear.

 

Green grass. I look around and remember that I’ve been here before, not so long ago. I’m right; the light blue sky and the aroma of crisp morning air — I am dreaming again. How-how am I dreaming? The last thing I remember is sitting on the toilet in one of the stalls in the girls bathroom. Did I get too tired and bored from their conversations? No, that can’t possibly be the reason — I was in this same dream 15 minutes ago in English class. Nothing makes sense now and this can’t just be a ‘dream.’ It feels so realistic: the birds — I even hear the birds chirping peacefully, the babies crying for food. I start to walk toward the chirping sounds and touch the tall grass, feeling comfort at last. I close my eyes, knowing this is a good time for me to feel restful and free. Maybe the only time. My body moves through space with grace and wonder until —

I fall down, not knowing what bumped me. I lie all the way down and I still don’t feel pain so I wait. I wait until I can wake up again but this time sitting on the toilet, my pants not on yet and listening to the cat fuss. But I don’t wake up. I still sense the fresh air, the warm comfort around me, and the sound of birds chirping remains. I open my eyes. I’m lying on the tall green grass and suddenly feel pain.

Somewhere on my body hurts so much, it’s as if a tiger just tore me in half. I touch my face and feel a slight bump on my forehead. I see a dark brown, rough plank of wood standing on its own, from about a mile away. Is that what caused the pain? I get a closer look and realize how stupid and insipid my observation and thoughts were — a plank of wood can’t just stand on its own; it’s obviously a tree. As I walk closer to the tree, step by step, I feel something strange and bumpy from beneath my feet. I look down and see the hard roots of the tree sticking out heavily like green veins popping out on a person’s skin, especially when they work out like a monster. It looks scary, though it is better than witnessing someone get shot and feeling helpless. (Is that what I saw? Or what I heard? Or what I felt?)

Then I see the bright green leaves hanging on like clothes to the naked branches, making the whole thing look like a tree. The naked branches somewhat remind me of myself while the green leaves represent hope that surrounds me. I wonder what happens when the wind blows off all the leaves — will I then be left hopeless? I feel the roughness of the branches and remember all the sorrow and despair I went through in the past when one car accident left my whole family behind except for me.

I step back as the memories invade my body and soul. Why didn’t I die in peace with my family? Why did I make that attempt to escape? I regret every second of that moment even if my parents wouldn’t feel the same way, since they would probably want me alive. But maybe being alive isn’t the solution to everything.

I go back to the chirping sounds and see a bird fly off from its nest. The bird is as black as the midnight sky, and reminds me of the girl in the white gown I saw in my other dream. It flies around in circles above me, and I wonder why it’s dancing around at the same spot repeatedly. I walk away from the spot to see if it’ll still stay at the same place. It follows me and then flies off about a half mile away. It stops again and seems as if it’s waiting for me to walk towards the same spot. I think I get it now; the bird is leading to my waking life.

Next thing I know, crispy bacon is all I smell.

 

I wake up. Not in the bathroom, but in my room — on my bed. My alarm is still on, making loud drum sounds. 6:00 a.m., Saturday, March 18th. Gosh, why did I set my alarm clock to six in the morning on a weekend?

“Marina, are you awake yet? I made you some good old bacon!” That’s where the crispy scent came from. Wait, did my step grandmother just say she made bacon? Oh no, I’m going to die — we’re all going to die!

“Gran, are you crazy?!” I hear her footsteps on the stairs and by my door. I sit up in bed and look down to see that I am wearing a white gown. I don’t have time to think about it. “You don’t have any eyes — Gran, you’re blind!” Gran pushes open my door. “Can you see me — are you okay? Did you forget your memory — do you have Alzheimer’s — ?” What am I doing? I can’t say that to an 80-year-old woman! Gosh, am I crazy? “Gran I — I’m sorry — ”

She is holding a plate of bacon in her hand. “You know I learned it from the Maple Store down the road. You know there’s a club there every Thursday for blind people to learn the basic things normal people can do, you silly goose. I got the hang of it and now I can turn on the stove, the T.V., and even go to the bathroom by myself, just like the good old days.” She laughs and passes me the plate of burnt bacon.

“Thanks Granny. My, it looks delicious! I can’t wait to dive into this plate — should I pretend to be a dog and eat it with my bare hands for your humor, Ms. I-Know-How-to-Do-Everything?” I give an exaggerated voice, hoping for her to catch that.

“Huh? Oh, right, I’m sorry, the fork — I know I put it here somewhere….” She starts to pat her apron.

“Gran!” Suddenly, I smell something really intense and bad — something like smoke or fire. I lurch out of bed and run down the stairs and the kitchen is on fire.

“Gran — Gran, hurry up — get outside!” The fire spreads across the kitchen rapidly and is now blocking the front door. I run back up the stairs to get her.

“Gran — watch out!”

 

“Like a fire spreading its flames, life and death has its own frame.” Mr. West? Was that the last sentence of the poem? Wait — what happened to the fire — and Granny?

“As you guys can see from the poetic and passionate flow in his poem, Dr. Kepler had a high interest in photography for a specific reason.” He looks at me and I know what is coming after that.

“So Marina, why did Dr. Kepler write this love poem based on his vision of photography instead of the first woman he met?” This time, I’m lucky. I don’t have to feel stings on my skin, nor worry about disappointing Mr. West.

“Of course, Dr. Kepler didn’t intend to write this poem based on photography but instead to theorize the retrospective of life and death in order to visualize his past life — and oh as well as human reincarnation, in general, from the hidden messages and secrets in such photos, and especially those from the 1800s.”

“Wow, that — I don’t think — ” Mr. West starts.

“I know, there is no other better way to put that in a formal sentence, thank you,” I finish his sentence. Mr. West stares at me for a moment with a strange look on his face that is both amused and shocked.

“Wha — how — ? I mean, yes, that was amazing! Good — good Marina, great job.” He pats me on the shoulder, the same way he did to Stella before. This really makes me feel like a superhero or simply a cool smartass. I can see Stella’s surprised face too as she turns around.

I have to go to the bathroom again. Just as I did before. As I walk out the door, the fire alarm starts pounding through the hallways and I cover my ears. This did not happen before, did it?

“Everyone get out, now!” Mr. West yells. “Hurry, there’s no time for yapping, get your butts out of here!”

“Hey! Marina, you don’t really have time to go to the bathroom,” Mr. West says.

“I’ll be quick, I promise!” I say as I slip in.  

I walk into the girls bathroom for the second time. The third stall was where I hid out before — listening to a fight held by both a girl and a guy I still don’t know. Of course, this time I did my business quickly, but then I found myself morbidly waiting in the stall to see if they would come. But no one came. Was it the fire drill? Could that have altered reality? I sneak out the bathroom door and find an empty hallway, but I smell smoke and run out of the closest exit, panting, running — I can’t see — is everyone across the street?

My legs don’t know what’s good for them and start crossing the street — I see the car coming but I can’t move — my stupid legs crumple from the impact.

 

Snowy evening. My parents pull the car up to the curb in front of the high school — the music is still at its highest volume. I am wearing a beautiful white gown that shines through the dark.

“So how was it?” my dad asks as I open the door to the back seat. “Why did you want to leave so early?”

“Did you have fun?” says a voice so faint and surreal. My mom looks at me with those hazel eyes, concerned by my expression.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I can’t speak — I’m finally seeing my parents for the first time since that accident and now I know what’s going to happen in a few minutes or so. Or is everything going to be different, is this a second chance?

“Nothing. I-I’m okay, I’m fine. It was fun. I’m just tired. Thank you for coming to get me.” I don’t know what to do. What if I just drive and let my parents sit in the back seat? “Can I drive?”

“Oh honey, it’s dark and icy — I don’t think it’s a good idea,” my dad said. Or should I just tell them everything? Will they even believe a word I say?

Maybe it’s better if I don’t tell them — maybe something will change. I look out the window and see snow falling more heavily, the darkness roaring like thunder, and our car is the only light visible.

“I bought something for you.” My mom reaches her hand into the backseat next to me, searching for the thing she had bought me, the thing that will ultimately take them away from me.

I should tell them that I don’t need whatever it is, but I have a morbid curiosity as “it” has been destroyed in the accident. Things will change, won’t they? All I need to do is to stop my father from reaching back.

“You bought it, but I picked it out. Picking the right thing is important, you know,” my dad  says, as happy and cheerful as he has ever been. His smile shows so much affection; it just tears me up to think that this might be the last smile I can ever see in my whole life — not just any smile, but a smile from my dad.

“Haha, that’s absolutely right,” my mother says, still reaching and knocking things on the floor. “Your father is pretty good at picking the style of the outfit. Wonder why he didn’t become a fashion designer.”

“Nah,” Dad responds quickly. “Besides if I did, I probably would have never met you.” They are still so in love.

Should I offer to get “it” for them? What is “it”? I realize that they have just told me — “it” must have been as insignificant as an article of clothing.

“Honey, where’d you hide it?” My mom must have kept it in a secret place to surprise me. Dad can never keep a secret.

“It’s just right around in the left side corner inside the — ”

Before I can stop him, Dad’s hand is reaching around his seat. “Oh, I found it!” As soon as Dad finds it, he loses it, hits a patch of ice, and loses control of the wheel. Nothing has changed, nothing can change. Everything is in slow motion — literally. There, I see a truck coming closer and closer — every second — to our car. Is this a test or a choice that I have to make? No, it can’t be — saving my parents is not an option, it is an automatic response. But I can’t do anything to save them — it is already too late.  

“Jump out of the car!” my dad screams. My door is unlocked and before, I had jumped out and saved my own life. I now know that my parents can’t jump out — their doors are locked. I won’t leave them again, just in case I can do something. But what can I do? It is already almost too late. Or maybe I shouldn’t — maybe I should just stay here with them. That would make the three of us die instead of only two, but at the same time it will allow me to see and stay with my parents forever. The truck is about a foot away from touching our car. I just wait and feel the impact of the aggressive onslaught of metal. This is and will be the best and final choice in my life. My parents will be able to share smiles and funny stories again, just like the old times. They can also give me the present once we are back together. Or maybe this — this death that we are sharing — is the real present….

 

Nothing. No tall green grass, no birds, and no trees. Just plain nothing — nothing except a girl and two other people. There I see the girl wearing a white gown coming towards me, closer every step. On the opposite side I see the beautiful and innocent eyes of a man and woman coming towards the girl. When they reach each other, the three hold each other’s hands — so tight — almost like glue.

Filters

The last time I looked at the clock it was 9:21 p.m. I got ready for bed so early because tomorrow is my first day at high school. I’m not prepared. My best friend in the whole world is going. Just me and him from the same school that I know. I’ve known him since the first day of kindergarten. His name is Aaron White, which is ironic because he’s black but his great-great grandmother is white. The first day of kindergarten, I was sitting on the carpet with about five other children. He came in and threw a tantrum because he didn’t want to leave his parents. They left and came back about 20 minutes later. There were now about seven kids on the carpet. He came back with food in his hand and put it in his cubby. He seemed calmer this time around. He came and sat next to me and I moved over. He then moved closer again and again and again and I kept moving over until I was off the carpet. Ever since that day we’ve been best friends. Sometimes in the summer for a month his parents take us to Europe and we spend all summer together.

I can’t see the time on the clock but I see the red light shining on my side table. My room is brighter than usual. Ever since the day care across the street had installed new lighting, it shines right into my room. I thought my curtains were dark enough to keep out any light from the outside world. Then I feel tiny feet on my legs. When I look down I see a white figure with a tail. I realize it is my cat and he didn’t leave my room. That means that when he’s ready, he’ll wake me up to open the door for him.

Every night I reflect on my day and try to think about every second of my day. I always try to imagine myself the next day and what everyone looks like and how they act. I can’t do that tonight for some reason. Maybe it’s because I didn’t do anything today because I realized it’s my last day to actually relax and have a day to myself. Doing nothing was pretty amazing because I didn’t really have a worry about high school, not knowing it was so close.

I don’t realize that I fell asleep until my alarm clock goes off at six this morning. I then hear the shower come on and then sizzling of some sort, maybe food. I hear my mom say, “Have a great day Ellie. Tell Aaron and his mom hello.”

I hear my heavy feet clomping down the steps. I don’t come to all my senses until I slam Aaron’s mom car door, they watch him.

“Good Morning Ellie. Are you ready?” Aaron asks me.

I take a deep breath and nod my head yes. When we arrive there are some students lined up wearing the school sweater and smiling at us. They all repeat, “Hi, welcome, how are you, please step to the right, there are numbers on the desks representing your grade, have a nice day!”  

As you walk in there are four desks lined up next to each other with two people sitting at each desk. Each desk has a number on it.

“I think we’re supposed to go to that desk,” Aaron points at a desk with the number nine. Aaron’s mom follows close behind us. I think it is kind of weird because I haven’t had a parent chaperone since sixth grade. There are a lot of other moms too, so we aren’t embarrassed.  

“I can’t stay or else I’ll be late for work. Ellie’s mom will pick you guys up after school. Have a good day!” Aaron’s mom kisses us both and runs out the door.

We walk up to the desk that has the number nine.

“Name?” A lady with a big smile says to me.

“Ellie Kogan.”

She goes to her clipboard, looks for my name, moves right, and checks my name off. She then hands me a paper with my schedule on it. Aaron walks next to me. Again students line up and say, “Please go straight ahead and take a seat in the auditorium.”

There are students lined up showing us to seats. We’re in the third to last row. It starts about eight minutes after we find our seats.

“Welcome students to…” a tall, slender, white man, with a full head of black and gray hair, starts. That’s when I stop listening. I realize that the people in the front are the ones leaning forward in their seats trying to catch every word this man was saying. The two rows on the sides are half listening, on their phones, whispering to each other, listening and eating. A couple rows in front of us, kids are talking, laughing, passing notes and joking around. Basically, they all act the same except the first couple rows. I guess those are the freshmen and we’re supposed to be up there. The kids in the first row are either wearing dresses, or jeans with nice shirts and cardigans. The kids on the side and the back are wearing nothing special. Aaron’s wearing jeans with a white shirt with his open sweater. I am wearing black jeans with my Vans that matches my sweater. Then it is back to reality. A kid turns around, he looked as if he’s a senior because he’s joking around while the man is talking.

“Hi!” a boy says with dark skin, perfect white teeth and deep dimples. I smiled, my way of saying hi back.

“Junior?”

“Freshman,” I say with a smile.

“Shouldn’t you be up there,” he says pointing to the front of the auditorium.

“Is that where the freshmen sit?”

“Yeah! But you look comfortable where you are.”

“I am,” I say again with another smile. “Are you a senior?”

“Funny! Sophomore.” He smiles at me.

Aaron hands me a paper with staff names and pictures next to it. The man talking turns out to be the principal.

“Is this your brother?” He asks looking at Aaron.

“No.” I turn my head toward Aaron and smile. “This is my best friend Aaron.”

“Oh, hi!”

I know Aaron is listening but he doesn’t look at me or the boy I was talking to. “Hi,” Aaron says softly.

“He’s really shy.” I clarify.

“I can tell,” he smiles, which made Aaron blush, “I’m Prosper.”

“Pardon?” I said, not hearing him clearly.

“My name is Prosper.”

“Really? Sorry, but I’ve never heard a name like that.”

“Yeah I’m unique.”

“Ha! I’m Ellie.”

“Oh, do you know who you have for homeroom?”

“Umm,” I say, shuffling papers, “Mr. Hendrix. I also have him for science.”

“Wow!” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“Wow what?”

“Just do your homework and don’t talk in his class and you should be fine.” He closed the sentence with a wink.

“… thank you and have a nice day!” the principal says and walks away.

Wow, I talked to him the entire time! I wonder if Aaron was listening at all to the person on the stage or paying attention to my conversation with my new friend. I’m guessing!

***

Aaron’s schedule is pretty similar to mine. Only two classes we aren’t together, and I have advanced math classes with the upper grades. Fortunately, we do have the same lunch period, which is nice because I know it’s hard for him to make friends by himself. There are seven periods in the school day. Lunch for us is at 1:00. The worst part about having lunch is that this is the only time we have to share with the tenth grade. Which is bad, because tenth graders think that they’re better than everyone else. Which isn’t true, because seniors are better. The day is going exactly how I thought it would go. Every class we did an “icebreaker” activity, where we play small educational games to learn everyone’s names. After this we did pre-assessments, the bell rang, and off to the next class it was.

The class before lunch Aaron and I don’t have together so we decided we would meet up in front of homeroom and make our way down the stairs just like some of the high schoolers. Since we are in high school the teacher doesn’t take us down. We have to go down two flights of stairs. The stairs aren’t like they were in middle school. We had to line up in two straight lines and walk down quietly. Now everyone runs down, skips steps, screams, jumps, and I’m pretty sure those are the tenth graders. The rails are black, the steps are black, and the floor is black. On every floor there are big glass windows through which you can see into New York City.

Once we get to the cafeteria I notice that there are kids who jump on the school line, ones who starve themselves, and the ones who bring lunch. The tables are different from middle school. They’re round and white with eight red chairs surrounding them. If you didn’t make it to the table right on time you would have to go sit somewhere else, which was maybe the worst thing that could happen. We sat toward the back where we weren’t noticed but we weren’t invisible.

That’s when I see Prosper. I know Aaron doesn’t like him very much just by the look of his face. Not that I don’t like Prosper. I just don’t want Aaron to feel like I am neglecting him, so I sit so Prosper can’t see my face.

“How was your day so far?” I ask Aaron.

“Good, I got homework from almost every class. The teachers were fairly nice but I think it’s just because it’s the first day. I want to see how they act when ––. ” Then he rolls his eyes and starts to eat.

“What happened?”

That’s when Prosper pulls up a chair and sits next to me.

“Hey. How was your first day?” he says with that bright smile he gave me this morning.

I peep at Aaron and see his head down. “It was great,” I respond. “Everyone was really nice. The teachers of course had to give homework, but everything aside from that was good.”

“That’s great! Aaron, how was your day?”

“Fine,” Aaron says with his head still facing downward.

“Okay, that’s good,” Prosper says, twisting his mouth to the side.

Prosper and I have a mini conversation about our summer. Then one of his friends calls him, so he tells me he will see me later and tells Aaron bye. As soon as he leaves, Aaron’s head lifts back up. I stare at him and he stares back.

“What!?” he says, still staring at me.

“What’s your problem?”

“What do you mean?” he says, raising his eyebrows.

“Whenever Prosper’s around, you get quiet and ignore us. Do you not like him?”

“It’s not that. It’s just weird having someone new that’s closer to you than me.” I am confused and Aaron can tell. “Like, we’ve always had friends that we met together. Not just you and then me.”

I have no response to what he just told me. I think Aaron’s jealous. I can’t tell him that. He would deny it right away and feel like I am trying to make him jealous.

Oh.” The rest of lunch is quiet. I don’t know what we can talk about at this weird moment.

Last period goes by fast. I meet Aaron at the corner. I am a little late because I was talking to Prosper. He wanted to walk with me but I told him I was in a rush and Aaron was waiting with my mom. I told Prosper bye and I’d see him tomorrow.

Aaron and I wait in silence for my mom to pick us up. She asks a lot of questions when we are going to drop Aaron off and we answer them. When we get home she knows something is wrong. She is watching me in an uncomfortable way, so I watch her back.

“Anything else happen that we didn’t discuss in the car?” she said, cutting up cucumbers.

“Well…” I tell her everything that happened –– how Prosper and I met, and how Aaron acted and what he said at lunch, and what I thought about but didn’t say to him –– by the time I finish we are eating.

“That’s normal high school drama. It never gets easier. Aaron should accept the fact that he’s in a new environment with new people with different behaviors. But you shouldn’t forget who your friend is. I understand why Aaron would react this way. I mean, you guys are like this,” she says crossing her fingers, “and it’s hard for Aaron to make friends, so he may not feel comfortable with new people. I’m not saying to not hang out with your new friend but make sure Aaron feels included with this relationship you’ve formed with someone new.”

Again I am speechless, I am in shock. I’m not sure Aaron feels this way but he probably does. I’ll talk to him tomorrow for sure and hopefully he understands and we can work this issue out.

***

The next day Aaron and his mom are downstairs waiting for me. I feel nervous but I am determined to fix this right away. We get to school a lot faster than yesterday. When we get out of the car Aaron doesn’t even say bye to his mom. I wave goodbye to her and run to catch up to Aaron.

“Hey, what’s your problem?” I say trying to walk at his pace.

“Nothing,” he says, walking faster with his head down. That’s when I see Prosper but he doesn’t see me yet and this is my time to talk before he comes and interrupts.

I pull his shoulder toward me and he rolls his eyes and looks at me. His face has a mean attitude that I am used to, and I know how to deal with it already.

“I know what’s wrong with you.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Nothing is wrong with me.”

I see Prosper turn around talking to someone but doesn’t see me yet.

“I know it’s hard coming to a new school where everyone has their own personality and not everyone wants to hang out with people who hang out with other people.”

He looks at me confused and I realize I am making no sense.

I start again, “I know that you’ll make friends that you might not want to hang out with me and I’ll make friends that don’t want to hang out with you. It’s like a test of friendship because we can’t let anyone come between us. Not matter how hard they try because if you have a tight bond that can’t be broken like ours, that shows how much we care about each other. So if I don’t show it or can’t just remind me who my best friend is and how much he means to me, because he means the world.” I am just in time because Prosper starts walking toward me. Aaron starts to hug me and I hug him back.

“Hey,” Prosper says with his bright white smile.

“Hello,” I say as Aaron and I broke up our hug.

“Hi.”And that is when Aaron gives his smile.

Then I realize that this will be the best four years of my life.

kek’d (Excerpt)

George Matthews was the seventh richest man in the world, and therefore, was effectively one of the most powerful men as well. However, he looked decidedly powerless, as he lay in bed with tubes and wires connected to his limbs and head. Thank God no one knew, though. Thank God no one had seen the real George Matthews, only the double who had stood in for him since 2000. Right after the car accident that had landed him in the hospital bed, he kept in his 70,000-square-foot mansion. Only his house staff and his maid, Cynthia, knew about his strange sickness. And it was strange; draining his energy as it made him more restless. He stayed in his room all day, without the energy to walk or even to get out of bed and dress himself.

Cynthia also knew, though, about the doctors who had come to see him about his sickness. The doctors who had told him that vitamins and exercise, as well as two or three operations, would most likely cure him. She knew about the accusations George had made: the doctors were frauds, they didn’t know a virus from a plague. He believed he had an incurable ailment, but she knew it was just a disease he made up in his head after the accident that he just couldn’t let go of. She thought about telling him this, but she knew she was being paid, in part, for her belief, or at least feigned belief, in his imaginary illness. George’s family had deserted him when they realized that he wouldn’t die quick enough for them to make good use of the money they would inherit, so she also felt pity for the deserted old man. This deadly mixture of pity and money convinced her not to quit.  

Months later, Cynthia was awoken in the middle of the night by a servant. “The master needs you. Come immediately.” Cynthia dressed herself and rushed upstairs to George’s bedroom, her one-size-too-big slippers brushing against the carpeted floor of the stairs. She imagined what could have happened: Did George die?

To be continued…

Kanye West

A tattered “Vote for Kanye” poster hung on the window of a decrepit development. Bullet holes were scattered around the poster, and black permanent marker graffiti outlined a swastika beneath his headshot.

“So this is what it has come to, huh?” a white-bearded man croaked. “The so called Age of Rapnazis.”

Before I could respond, a shrill beep sounded through the nearest loudspeaker.

Yo, yo, check it, yo. I eat it like dinner. You see this stuff I gotta deal with from these beginners? Wait, what? We’re recording? Oh! This is the president speaking. I just wanted to share a short, fire lyric from my song. We’ll buy a lot of clothes when we don’t really need ‘em. Things we buy to cover what’s inside. BEEP.

“Well, I guess it’s his attempt at initiating a neo-N.W.A.-based country. It’s been three terms and West still hasn’t been able to pull it off.”

“That’s why I voted for Eminem. He wouldn’t try some arbitrary stunts like such. But, y’know, Detroit would probably be the new capital.”

“His cult of rapper-nazis is growing by the hour. All these formerly-outlawed items were mostly smuggled in by the imbe — The Lordwest Majesty Himself,” I stuttered as I spotted a burly pro-Kanye voter. Various types of gun-tattoos decorated his bare barrel-chest, complementing the gang seals on each of his protruding biceps. “‘Ey ya’ll.” he growled.

Whitebeard and I genuflected in an instant, gesturing the gang crest with our fingers.

“I guess you know who I be then?” A glob of saliva landed on my knee.

“Secretary of State, MC Vanity. Why do you roam these parts?” wheezed Whitebeard. He did not lift his head, but peripherally, I spotted a grin creep up his countenance.

“You will not,” his unauthentic Jamaican tongue twisted and strangled these simple words. “You will not…

“Taking some time to process, Mr. Secretary?” the old man said under his breath.

Chuckling, I whispered back, “Maybe he got so caught up in faking his accent that his brain stopped.”

“Ask me such confidential questions! Anyway, I’m here to do the daily check-up. Aight my brothas, recite the first 30 pages of the N.W.A. Bible. Otherwise, you’ll have to come with me.” Glancing at me, the geezer ran his index through his messy beard, and furrowed his brow. Suddenly, he bore a confused smile. “No, no. You must have mistaken us for citizens! We are simply visiting from Canada. O Canada, our home and — ”

“All right, I get it. But it’s a continental law to have memorized the history of the Book of Rap, y’know, with the Drake election and all. Starting with Tupac, go, old man.” He looked at me with true dubiety.

“Mister, I think I’ll take this one. Tupac started the Book of Rap. Er… ” Ever since the election, even the history books had been altered. It is strongly believed by the anti-N.W.A. party that Eminem finished the Book of Rap. However, that response would by no means be accepted by this MC.

“I’m sorry, but the truth is that Eminem finished the book. And Kanye, well, Kanye. You see, the thing about Kanye is that… he lied by infringing on copyright, and then he claimed that he wrote it. That’s illegal.” Before he could speak, I started again.

“Hang on. Endure the sass and absorb my point of information. Kanye is a scandal artist, and paid off major media networks to shut up about it.” Whitebeard licked his lips, silently applauding the defiant decision that could result in a permanent incarceration. As I smirked, he mumbled that it was not just praise — no, it was a eulogy.

The Writing on the Altar

Minegamer225 stared at his creation. He had been on his computer for months on end, but he finally finished it: an 8-bit redstone computer (redstone is basically a wire).  After a few minutes of staring at it, he pulled a small stick from his inventory and placed it next to him by a trail of redstone. Minegamer pulled the stick towards him and the trail of redstone lit up with a warm, inviting glow. He looked up at the computer screen, waiting for the “booting up” message. After a couple long minutes he sighed and walked away. While he was walking, he didn’t see the strip of redstone in front of him and WHAM! He was thrown to the floor by the electric power of the wire. He stood up, dazed from the fall.

When he regained consciousness he kicked the wire as hard as he could and watched as it went flying. He was so angry, he didn’t realize that the wire was heading in the direction of the computer. At the last second he realized where the wire was going to land. He flinched as it crashed somewhere in the circuit boards. Suddenly the computer flickered to life and the rebooting message popped up on screen. Minegamer’s body filled with excitement as he jumped up in the air and started dancing.

But his joy was extinguished as the computer started sparking and sizzling. Minegamer jumped behind a block at the right time, because just afterward the computer exploded. Blocks started raining from the sky, but he dodged them with ease. He was so upset that months of work were RUINED!!! When the block rain was over he crawled through the rubble to the computer core. He reached out and grabbed the computer chip. He sadly looked at the fried circuit and frowned. “I JUST GIVE UP!!” he said as he smashed the circuit against a rock. He watched as the pieces went flying in different directions. Then he got up and walked out of the rubble pile towards his house. When he reached his house he shoved the door open and stepped inside. At once, his cat, Mittens, started following him and meowing for her food. When Minegamer plopped down on the couch, Mittens jumped onto his lap and started purring affectionately. “Aww, thanks mittens,” Minegamer said appreciatively. Then he got up and walked over to the kitchen. “Here you go, Mittens,” Minegamer said as he gave Mittens a bowl of food. Minegamer watched as Mittens hungrily devoured her food. When she had finished her food, she trotted over to the couch and curled up in the corner, waiting for Minegamer to sit down. Minegamer looked at Mittens and smiled. Then he realized that he was starving!!   

He looked in his kitchen chest for some food and found three potatoes. He placed them in the furnace to bake while he got some butter. When the potatoes were done, he spread the butter on top and then joined Mittens on the couch. When he sat down, Mittens crawled up on Minegamer’s lap and looked up at him with sad eyes. Minegamer understood what she meant. “I miss him too,” Minegamer said. After sitting down for a few minutes, he got up to get some cookies for Mittens and him to munch on. “Do you think about him much?” asked Minegamer.

“Meow,” replied Mittens. Minegamer also understood what this meow meant. This time it was a reassuring kind of meow.

“I remember our last moments with him….”

***

Eight years ago…

“Minegamer, do you have any string?”   

“Yes, Brine. It is downstairs, in my storeroom.”

“Thanks buddy.” he said, going downstairs.

***

Two Hours Later…

“Minegamer, I have a present for you!” he called faintly.  

“Be there in a minute.” Minegamer came down the stairs.

“Okay, I’m here,” Minegamer said excitedly.

“Here is your present,” he said, while handing Minegamer a chest. When Minegamer opened the lid he gasped.

“AN ENCHANTED BOW!! YOU’RE THE BEST, BRINE!” Minegamer shouted.

“Thanks, but without you, I would be a Noob,” Brine answered.

“Come Brine, let’s try out my new bow!!” Minegamer said as he raced out the door.

Minegamer notched an arrow, pulled back the string and released. As soon as he released the arrow its tip burst into flame. It flew out of their vision and hit the middle of the dam, 300 blocks away.

“Hey, Minegamer, do you hear that noise?” asked Brine.

“Yeah, what is that?” responded Minegamer. The both turned and saw the wall of water thundering towards them. “GET TO DA CHOPPA!!” yelled Minegamer. They hurried to their helicopter and put it in ignition. Minegamer was about to fly away when he remembered something…. “MITTENS!!” Minegamer screamed.

Mittens was still in their house!! “I’ll get her!” Brine bravely stated. He unbuckled his restraints. He ran down, kicked open the doors, scooped up mittens and ran upstairs. The wave was feet from the roof. Minegamer was already in the sky with the rope ladder hanging down for Brine to grab. Brine popped out of the trap door and Minegamer was filled with relief. Brine looked at the helicopter, then at the wave. He looked back at the helicopter, took Mittens in one hand, and punted him up into Minegamer’s hands. His eyes locked with Minegamer’s, and he smiled. Then he was swept away by the wave. When the flood was over, Minegamer landed his chopper in the watery remains of his house and frantically searched for his chum.

After 15 minutes he tripped on a loose root. Angry, he turned around to kick it when he realized it was not a root, but a bow, an enchanted bow!! BRINE’S PRESENT!! He carefully caressed the bow and sobbed…

 

Minegamer stroked Mittens a few times, then he realized how thirsty he was, and went to get some water. He searched around in his cabinet for a bottle of water. “Ah, here it is!” he exclaimed as he downed it. “Oohh, I don’t feel so good,” stated Minegamer. He picked up the bottle and looked at the label. “That’s not water!! It’s a hunger potion!!!”

Minegamer heard mittens meow and turned to go pet her when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shiny, red apple outside. He slid open the door and walked towards the tree, with Mittens trotting along behind him. He climbed up the tree to grab the apple when the tree came loose and fell.

Minegamer popped out of the leafy canopy and took a bite out of the apple. His hunger went back up to full. He looked around and realized Mittens was nowhere to be seen!!! Then, he heard a faint mewing coming from a nearby cave. “I’m coming, Mittens!!” Minegamer bravely said. He drew his sword and raced toward the cave. When he reached it he followed the sound of Mittens’ meowing until he was around the corner from the sound. He jumped around the corner, preparing to attack, when he heard a frightened child’s voice.

“P-p-please don’t hu-u-rt me.”

Minegamer put down his sword and saw a shaking villager child stroking Mittens. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you lost? You should be in your village,” Minegamer asked.

“M-m-my village w-was destroyed b-b-by a big wave,” the child said. “M-my name is P-pablo.”

“Well, Pablo, you can live with me!” Minegamer said. “Let’s g-” Minegamer was interrupted by a faint glow at the end of the tunnel. “Stay here,” Minegamer said. He turned the corner and saw a glowing compass on top of an altar. He walked up and saw some strange writing on the altar, the galactic alphabet, a language only minecrafters could read. It said: To Minegamer: If you are reading this, follow this compass to these coordinates; 45-y  754-x  35-z.

“This can only mean one thing… BRINE IS STILL ALIVE.”

 

To Be Continued…

Letters

Mama sips her morning tea from the kitchen counter, the strength diluted by her fading smile and tense, constricted muscles. Her skirt, drenched in a deep black and frayed from continuous wearings, skims the hardwood floors. It dances in a steady motion, at the morning breeze’s will rather than her own.

I beat my hands in a consistent rhythm, matching my mother’s dress and shutting my eyes until I’m soaked in a vast swarm of people.

Mama’s laugh echoes off the cliffs of the beach, and she’s dancing again. Spinning and twirling as the drums beat on and the swarm’s melody erupts into a harmonious climax. And they’re at the center of it all. Mama and Papa pulled tightly together, the passion infused in the cores of their eyes. Anna and I stand on the edge of the circle, clapping and shifting to the pace of a movement much bigger than us. Yet, when I turn to peek at the joy in Mama’s eyes, I feel Anna’s hand clutch my arm, and I’m abruptly snatched from the depths of the moment.

“Lizzy?” she calls, and her big blue eyes fill the void of the newfound silence.

“I’m fine,” I retort. I don’t intend to convey such a boiling frustration. Lately it just spills out of me in spasms and streaks, directed at the easiest prey. With Anna, I feel a force that consumes me. I’m standing on a tipping iceberg and the bitter grasp of death compels me to lash out. Mama stares straight at the cracked, uncleaned cup in front of her instead of coming to Anna’s defense as I secretly wish she would. Anna’s pained face adds to my dread, to the pulse of my drained body. I lay down on the dirt-ridden floor, the one that used to be so pretty with its black, well-maintained tiles, arms sprawled, and my sister comes to tap me.

“Why isn’t Mama eatin’?” she inquires, the gap between her two front teeth prominently exposed.

“She’s not hungry,” I dryly respond.

“But she wasn’t hungry yesterday,” she persists.

I pause and inhale. “Well, maybe she’s not feeling right.”

“Then we should call Grandma and Grandpa. They could help her. Give her some medicine or somethin’…”

“NO!” I shout, my stubborn resistance ricocheting off Anna’s droopy ginger pigtails and compiling in wrinkles underneath the rims of her eyes. “What’ll they do? Save her? Make our tummies full or her mug empty?”

Anna’s pursed lips and angular bones jut into my eleven-year-old conscience. Mama’s position on the opposite side of the counter with the tattered, discounted yellow curtains swaying behind her, stands in a stark contrast. I conclude that my baby sister certainly won’t feed herself.

“Alright,” I relent, assuming that something to chew on is better than an empty stomach, even when the tears make the food salty. Maybe if she eats, I reason, she’ll forget for a while. “How ‘bout I fetch you a nice blueberry Eggo?”

“Leggo my Eggo!” she eagerly replies, captivated by a fresh sense of delight.

I stroll over to the pristine refrigerator, wrapping my hands around the stainless steel of the handles. I freeze before the cold hits me: drawing me in — the vibrant letters, plastered to the fridge with magnets purchased from the local ninety-nine cent store. Falling to my knees, I reach out to trace the mariposa-wing orange “C” with my dirt-stained fingertips. I run them down in trickles, inching over the curve, reaching the sharp ends. And all at once I feel the crisp corners of his jaw. The way it felt that clear spring morning when Anna and I tackled him in bed, reminding him of his thirty-fourth birthday. How he hadn’t shaved, and his beard covered his chin in sporadic prickles, jostling when he creased his cheeks to smile. And the way Mama threw her head way back in a careless thrust, and spoke in a serious manner to remind us of our place and break from the bouts of teasing.

“Birthdays come and go,” she announced, firm and easy. “Remember the little things, and try not to grow big-headed like your daddy.”

Then came the “U,” yellow like the sunrise, and just as slow moving. Just when it made you suppose it had got the best of you, you were left dumbfounded by its unforeseeable comeback.

“U” was the uncontrollable undulations of Papa’s hair in the summertime. Like when we all went on down to the state fair in Georgia, and Anna was scared to go on Thunder Mountain. Me, being the bigger sister, I tried convincing her to come along. But, no sir, she stayed huddled right there with Mama, eating a big old stick of cotton candy as Daddy and I waited in line. And his huge brown curls tossed and turned on the drops, but he stayed laughing up a storm, me howling right with him.

When it was all over and we rolled up into the station he pulled my ear over to his mouth and whispered, “Now listen, I wanna tell ya something. You are brave. You are one piece of wonderful work, more like your daddy and your granddaddy than you’ll ever know. And don’t let any folks ever tell you otherwise.”

I savored his words, sweeter than any cotton candy I’d ever tasted. I kept that little secret tucked among my eyelashes as I shuddered and hesitantly dragged my fingertips towards the terrifying “R.”

“R” was the dreaded letter. It was the one that appeared suddenly and out of the blue: the relentless rage and mutated genes that exploded out of Daddy the Cotton Candy Machine. “R” was when Daddy never showed up at the Thanksgiving concert, or to pick us up at the bus stop after school that day. “R” was coming home by ourselves to Mommy’s sobs and Daddy’s massive bellows, screaming about things only he understood. For the hatred that seized him, and for the protectiveness that made Mama muster “Go stay in the closet until I call for you. Like hide-and-seek!” between broken cries that failed to sound like counting.

For the peeking out of a crack in the closet and the way I covered Anna’s eyes to be the brave one just like Papa told me. And for what happened next: for the image that would become stained in my memory, but not in Anna’s. For his blow, which came like an avalanche in slow motion, striking Mama in a thunderbolt tinged with pity. And for my tongue, bitten and swollen from when I ordered tears back to the deepest depths of my throat.

For the constant “sorry’s” and “forgive me’s” and Mama’s late-night phone calls. To the fake smiles, prepared meals, and empty wallets, drained without a penny to spare. To the day she agreed to stay — for us, not her. For when our dinners started to have conversations, and she stopped having to use scarves to cover the bruise. And all went back to normal. “R” as in “revered,” when Daddy was a strong man in a house of forgetful girls.

Santa came. Leaves fell. A thin layer of ice emerged on the roads. And Mama picked us up from school. “T” as in tangled tendencies, tangled tactics, and tangled terms. Mommy unlocking the front door. Put down the scarf. Scream. Run. Collapse.

Protect Anna. Go to Mama. Look away.

Papa was there, but he was distant. Far away. Dead with a bullet in his head. Gun down. Man down. Curls drenched in a coat of thick, drying blood. Ambulances can’t help the deceased.

The note said Daddy loved us very much, but that he couldn’t go on any longer feeling like a stranger in his own body. I wondered how much he could’ve loved us, leaving a black casket and sighing old ladies as our last image of him, and not roller coasters and birthdays. After all, he never did reach thirty-five.

Anna forgets. They say it’s ‘cause it’s too painful to remember. I can’t cover her eyes forever. But I want to shield Mama’s. She can’t un-see. But maybe she can stop staring and start living. Instead, she sips her tea. It is spring again. I open the fridge, and grab the Eggos.

Immortality

I smile at the nice lady holding up the two lollipops.

“Which one do you want?”

I take both.

The first day of school is the most important day of school because you have to make a good first impression on the people around you, and your teacher because the teacher is the most important person in that classroom except for yourself so, go in there and have some fun because that’s what you need to do. What in the hell do I do with this wooden stick in my hands.

After all of the words and letters and numbers and letters and names and places I go and I leave and I go out into the sun. Gotta get that vitamin D, imperative for bone and overall growth and bone marrow and growth of bone marrow.

I go and have some fun, because that’s how it works.

I look up and see a bear. I scream and yell but nothing happens. People around me are laughing at a joke so I start laughing too. We all start laughing harder, and it’s ok because the bear took off its head and it’s also laughing. What was the joke guys, I bet it was really funny because y’all are laughing so hard, and I really want to hear it please…?

Because after all. We all need something to calm our nerves.

We all start typing away, writing a paper or article or essay so we can pass this course and graduate from college and graduate from graduate school and get a nice and cushy job and retire in southern France with vines all over the walls. I print out my paper to my professor’s watch, where he can then access it manually or have the ScanMan™ grade it along with the others. The professor gives me a small, sad smile as I run out of lecture hall and into the sunlight.

 

After all. We all need a release from our bodies once in awhile.

 

Where did the time go?  After all these years, all I have is a giant stuffed bear that says “Go Big Reds!” emblazoned on the top its forehead and it’s looking at me funny and oh sorry but I have to go and go color in circles with sticks.

I stand at the door of the researcher and he looks at me in pity and fear and worry and surprise and hope and sorrow. I smile winningly at him but the muscles in my face hurt so I stop and then the jackhammer in my chest breaks through and it’s okay though because I am the first.

But really. It’s okay. I’m okay.

He asks me if I want to call someone because he has to.

I smile.

I sit.

I close my eyes and take the lollipops and throw them onto the ground because all of the words make sense.

I won’t be the last.

The Girl With No Name

She wakes up and realizes that she is lying on the side of a road in a city. She doesn’t know which one. She pushes herself off the ground and onto her bare feet. The girl feels her head, which is covered with tangled, thick black hair. Her eyes glance around as she looks at the tall buildings around her small self. The girl then realizes her olive skin is covered with dirt. She wears a pair of baggy jeans that don’t belong to her and a red tee with the words “Susie’s Cafe” on it.

The girl has no memories of what had happened that put her in this place. All she remembers are the basic things like how to breathe, how to tie her shoelaces, how to read and write, and how to walk and talk. But she doesn’t remember her family or friends or if she has any at all. She doesn’t know where she’s from or where or when she was born. She doesn’t even remember her name.

The girl walks a few blocks and wonders where the cafe on her shirt is. Overwhelmed by all the confusion that faces her right now, she decides to ask someone to help her. She walks into the nearest building, which is a coffee shop, and walks over to the counter. But before she can reach it, a waiter accidentally pours a steaming cup of hot coffee on the girl. With a burning sensation on her torso, she screams in pain. The waiter apologizes to her and offers her a clean napkin to wipe off the scorching coffee on her tee. The liquid slowly falls down onto her bare feet. So the boy brings her to the restroom and helps her clean herself.

“I’m so sorry, miss,” the boy says to her as she splashes water onto her face.

“It’s okay,” she says.

“What can I do to repay you?” he asks her generously.

“I need directions. I’m kind of lost,” she says.

“No problem,” he says. “Where do you need to go?” He puts the coffee soaked napkins in the nearest trash can.

“Susie’s Cafe,” she says. The girl takes a deep breath and is afraid to ask the next question that rambles in her mind. “I also need to know where I am?” 

The boy looks at her like she is a loon but he answers her question anyway. “You’re in Carrie’s Coffeehouse.”

“I mean what city?” she asks, afraid he might run away because of the unknown girl’s cluelessness.

“Oh honey, you’re in New York City,” he says, “If you want a more specific answer, you’re in Manhattan.”

All she says is, “Huh.”

“I figure you’re lost and all, but are you alright? Like, do you know where exactly you are going?” he asks.

“No I don’t,” the girl with no name says. “I don’t know anything about myself. I don’t know how I got here or why and I don’t remember if I have any family or friends. I don’t even know my own goddamn name.”

“Oh my god,” he says. “Let me show you the way to Susie’s.”

“Thank you so much, sir,” the girl says.

“I’m twenty-one, don’t call me ‘sir,’” the boy says. “My name is Vic, and my shift is almost over so I can take you to Susie’s right now.” He takes a deep breath. “There’s also an available apartment right across the hall from mine. It’s yours if you want.”

“But I don’t have any money.”

“I’ll pay for everything,” Vic says with a sweet and welcoming smile.

The girl is very delighted at the news of her being sheltered, but she is hesitant of Vic. She thinks of the fact that Vic might be a serial killer or an ax murderer. But she’s in desperate need of finding a place to stay so she decides to ignore those possibilities. The girl nods her head to Vic and they go off on their way to find Susie’s Cafe.

They find the cafe in no time. At the counter, she meets Susie, an old woman with graying hair and a scary look on her face. The girl asks Susie if she knows anything about her. Susie tells them that the girl will have to come back in a year to learn the truth.

Naturally, the girl is upset, but she goes off with Vic.

***

A year later, the girl and Vic are now much closer, best friends, even. They arrive at the cafe once again to see Susie about her old life.

“Come into the alley with me, children,” she says. They followed her into the alley.  “I’ll tell you about your past, Honey,” Susie begins.

“Okay, tell me already,” she says impatiently.

“But on one condition,” Susie says.

“Which is?”

“I get to kill him.” She points Vic with her wrinkly finger.

Vic and the girl exchange a look. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I need my food, Honey,” Susie says with a rasp in her sickening voice. “You see sweeties, I’m a Vorago. One who needs humans to live. I prey on the weak, but strong-hearted. There are not many of those in this world.” She gave them an uneasy smile.

The girl puts her arm in front of Vic and says, “Never.”

“Fine, it’s your choice.” Susie stood there, and suddenly the petite, elderly woman grows fangs, like a vampire, and her face turns more wrinkly than before. Behind her back, Susie holds a knife. She runs towards Vic and attempts to stab him anyway. But before Susie can reach him, the girl grabs the knife from her hand and runs it into Susie instead. Her scream is ear-splitting. Her old body is lit on fire by a mysterious force and she burns to ashes right in front of them.

The girl hugs Vic and says, “I will never let anyone hurt you.”

He hugs her back and says, “Same here.”

She lets go of him and wipes some stray tears off of her cheek. “I guess I will never know who I really am.”

“You already know who you are,” Vic says to her. “You don’t need your past to make your future. Your future is what you make of it right now in the present.”

“But I don’t even have a name,” she says letting a tear fall from her eye.

“I can give you one.”

“Really?” she asks as she and Vic make their way out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. “What are you thinking of?”

“I was thinking you could take my last name, Madison.”

“I like that,” she says. “What about the first name?”

“Well everybody calls you Honey, so why not?”

“I love it!” she says. Honey leans over to Vic and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “My name is Honey Madison.”

So the girl who had no name a year ago and didn’t even know who she was, is now with a name and living across the hall from her best friend-turned-boyfriend, Vic Madison. But don’t worry, Honey eventually learned about her past by meeting someone from her past. So for now, the girl with no name is no more.

 

One year later…

She walks down the New York City street as if it is a normal day. She holds hands with her boyfriend, Vic, and glances over to him once in awhile thinking to herself how lucky she is to have him. His caramel-colored hair is being whipped around by the wind and the sunlight shining in his big brown eyes. It fills Honey with more joy than anyone could ever imagine.

Many people pass by them, big, small, short, tall and they all seem normal. But there is one woman who stands out. Her long, curly, strawberry blonde hair bounces up and down while the sunlight gracefully dances along her snow white skin. She wears a big smile on her face. Her pearly white teeth sparkle while her rosy red lips are shaped like a heart. Her outfit consists of a simple long-sleeve black tee with tight leather pants, black combat boots, and a black heart-shaped purse slung across her shoulder. The woman’s brown eyes linger over to Honey and Vic. She stops in her place and begins to quickly walk over to them.

Honey and Vic keep walking while trying to ignore the woman, making no eye contact with her. But something doesn’t feel right. The blonde woman seems very familiar to her. There’s something different about this girl that strikes her. She can hear the clicking of the woman’s heels plopping up and down. Honey grips Vic’s hand a bit tighter, showing fear. The woman gets closer. It seems like she is running now. Honey wonders who this woman is and what she wants.

“Mara!” the woman shouts over the roar of the trains above them. Honey and Vic continue walking as if the woman had never said anything. The trains are gone and again the woman shouts, “Mara!”

Honey begins to slow down but Vic keeps going at the same rate. “Stop,” she whispers to him as she stands still in the middle of the sidewalk. Vic, a foot ahead of her, looks back at her confused.

“Honey, come on,” he says hoarsely.

She just shakes her head and whips around, standing face to face with the woman. The woman stops in awe, trying to catch her breath. Vic walks over to the two women, bewildered by what’s happening. Honey stares at the girl, feeling a strange sense of familiarity.

The blonde woman smiles a bit and throws her arms around Honey. For some reason, she hugs her back. The woman releases her from her grasp and smiles again. A single tear slithers down her face, smearing her mascara. Both Honey and Vic are muddled. Honey shows no sign of emotion as she stares at the awestruck woman.

“What’s wrong?” the woman questions. Honey notices her English accent now that she’s talking to her. Her deep brown eyes were filled with mystery and something else that Honey couldn’t put her finger on.

“I don’t know,” she answers quietly, but loud enough so the woman could hear. “Do I know you?”

The woman looks hurt. Her eyes sadden and her shoulders, which were once high with excitement, fall. Her smile turns into a frown. Honey knows this is her imagination, but she thinks she can hear a heart beating quickly. A heartbeat that is not her own.

“What tricks are you playing on me this time?” the woman asks with annoyance in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t know who you are.”

The woman doesn’t look confused at all. She just looks sad and worried. Thoughts race through Honey’s head. Does this woman hold the answers to her past? How, in all of New York City, does she find the woman that knew her before she became Honey Madison, two years exactly after she woke up in that  alley?

“Do you remember anything about yourself?” the woman asks. Honey shakes her head. “Do you even know your name?” She shakes her head again. The woman sighs. “Do you know who I am?” She shakes her head. The woman closes her eyes in frustration.

“What have you been calling yourself for the past two years, then?” she asks.

“Honey Madison, and this is Vic.”

“Well, that’s stupid,” she says with grin.

“Hey,” Vic pipes up. “I happened to think that is a wonderful and very creative name.”

The woman turns, scans him, and says, “I’m going to assume that you came up with it, then.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vic questions, offended.

She lifts her brows and grins. “If her name is so stupid, then may I ask what yours is?” Vic asks annoyed.

“Cass Blackwood,” the woman says. There’s something in that name that wants to spark a fire in her mind. Vic doesn’t say a word. Cass rolls her eyes and faces Honey again.

“I know you don’t have any idea who I am, but trust me,” Cass kindly says. “I will restore your memories and get you back where you truly belong.”

“And where’s that?” Honey asks.

Cass wraps her long white fingers around Honey’s skinny wrists and whispers, “Home.”

Cass, Honey, and Vic agree to meet at Carrie’s Coffeehouse at seven that night. Vic isn’t too happy about meeting with a stranger from his girlfriend’s past. He wonders if her past is something that will make her leave him. He doesn’t want that to happen, so he tries to talk Honey out of meeting with Cass tonight.

“What if she’s just a con artist trying to take your money?” Vic asks Honey in her apartment later that day.

“What money?” Honey fires back. “Vic, I’m a waitress working at a crappy cafe. I don’t think Cass wants to rob a girl who can barely afford a nice dress.”

“I just have a bad feeling about her,” he says nervously.

She sighs. “Vic, you have to trust me on this. Cass Blackwood is from my past. I don’t know how, I can just feel it.”

“How?”

“I don’t know,” she softly says, “but you have to trust me.” She grins, throws on her dark purple jacket and leaves.

Vic wonders. She doesn’t know what she’s getting into.

Honey arrives at the coffeehouse in a matter of minutes. She walks through the front door and spots Cass reading a book. Cass notices Honey and ushers her over to her table. Honey is nervous, but, still in doubt, saunters over to Cass. She plasters a fake smile on her face. Cass smiles back and pulls a chair out for her. Honey sits down. Cass picks up a glass of water and puts it up to her mouth.

“First things first,” Honey begins, “you’d better not be a serial killer or some kind of con artist or my boyfriend will find you and make you pay.”

Cass spits out the water in her mouth and laughs. “Funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be,” she admits.

Cass puts the glass down and wipes her mouth on her sleeve. “That Madison boy is your boyfriend?” Honey nods. “No offense, but that boy is not going to make me pay.”

“He’s stronger than he looks,” Honey defends.

“Well,” Cass says, “so am I.”

Honey scans Cass. She’s tall, taller than Honey, but frail-looking. She has skinny arms and legs, and, honestly, she looks fifteen.

“What did you mean,” Honey begins, changing the subject, “when you said you can restore my memories?”

Cass takes a deep breath. “Well, I can’t do it myself. I don’t have that kind of power, but I have friends that can.”

“Then take me to them,” she demands.

“Slow down,” Cass says. “First, we have to prove that you’re worth restoring.”

“Worth restoring?” Honey asks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Witches and Warlocks can be picky when it comes to favors,” Cass explains. “They only want to work with ‘pure’ customers. I’ve already been deemed pure by the Warlocks’ Council.” She pulls up her sleeve, revealing a burn that looks like a W with a vertical line straight down the middle.

“Warlocks? Witches?” Honey asks, baffled. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh,” she begins, “you really don’t know anything about the Immortal World.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re mad,” Honey says. She gets up from her chair and starts to walk away, leaving Cass behind.

But when Honey arrives outside, the world is frozen. Not winter frozen, or the Disney film, but frozen in time. Moving cars stop in the middle of traffic. Birds stand still overhead, wings spread out. People with one foot in the air, trapped in conversation, glued to their phones. Honey is the only one still moving.

A hand grasps her shoulder. She gasps, and spins around. Cass stands there staring at her.

“What did you do?” she asks, muddled. “More importantly, how did you do that? And don’t say ‘magic.’”

She huffs. “I’m part an order of half-human, half-demon warriors that fight to protect mortals from evil. Personally, I am half-Gorgon from my mother’s side. Instead of turning people into stone, I can freeze the Mortal World in time,” she explains. “Got a problem with that?”

She stays silent.

“I thought so,” Cass says.

“So you’re half-demon?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Cass says. “And so are you.”

“What?”

“There are things you need to know,” she says. “But I can’t explain everything right now.” Her voice rises. “The entire Mortal World is frozen, and I can hear footsteps coming here. Fast.”

“What do we do?” Honey asks, as the sound of footsteps grows louder.

“What I always do,” she says. “Run.”

Cass unfreezes the Mortal World, and they run as fast as they can through the streets of Brooklyn. Honey’s heart races as her feet pound against the pavement, and she takes short, quick breaths to stabilize her jittery body. Cass is much faster than her, and it pains Honey to run faster than she has ever before. Cass makes a turn into an alley, and Honey follows her, not knowing what she’s doing. She pulls out a phone, dials a number, and puts it up to her ear.

“Monroe?” she says into the speaker. “Yeah, it’s me, Cass. I found Mara. Yes, I’m sure it’s her. There’s someone following us. I need backup. Come with the Idrises. Yes, immediately.”

Cass ends the call, and looks down the street. She gasps. She runs towards the end of the alley, and sprints up a wobbly, rusty ladder. As she approaches the top, she yells something that Honey assumes it’s an invitation to hurry up. Honey runs and hops onto the ladder. She climbs as fast as she can, but Cass is much quicker than her. Honey pulls herself onto the roof of the building and sees Cass looking up, not down like Honey would assume she would.

“What are you looking at?” she asks. Suddenly, a roaring sound of flapping pervades her ears. “Cass, what is that sound?”

“Backup,” she says.

Honey looks at the sky and sees four creatures flying towards them. As they approach closer, she recognizes the flying beings as horses. Horses with wings. The four black stallions flap their large, long, dark wings up and down, and it looks like they’re carrying people: two young women and two young men. The horses land gracefully on the roof of the building. They hop off and tie their reins on an antenna sticking out from the brick. The riders’ eyes widen when they see Honey. She wonders why they’re staring at her, but she just walks over to Cass.

“Why are they staring at me?” she asks.

“They’re surprised to see you,” she says as she leads Honey over to them.

As they approach them, Honey grows nervous. They look at her as though they’ve known her forever. She has an uneasy, familiar feeling about these people. She then notices they carry swords in their scabbards except for one of the women, she carries no weapon. The short woman with no weapon has short dark hair cut to her neck, flawless alabaster skin, deep brown eyes, and wears dark jeans, a black tank top, and a red leather jacket.

Cass points to the woman and says, “This is Brielle Idris.” She points to the other woman, who has long dark purple hair, tied in a ponytail, alabaster skin, hazel eyes, and wears almost the same thing as Brielle, but has a black leather jacket and blue jeans. Cass directs her hand to the shorter man with shaggy blond hair, brown eyes, alabaster skin, and wears ripped jeans, and a t-shirt. “These are the Idris twins, Garvin and Lilith.” Then Cass nods to the muscular man with the scars running down his face, who wears black jeans, a navy t-shirt, and combat boots with dark hair, dark skin, and brown eyes. “And this Kellen Monroe.”

Lilith is the one who speaks first. “Where have you been for the last two years?”

“I believe that a demon might’ve stolen her memories,” Cass says. “She doesn’t know any of us or anything of the Immortal World.”

“Dammit,” Garvin mumbles.

“Are you all like Cass?” Honey innocently asks.

“Everyone, except for Brielle,” Monroe says. “She’s a Witch.”

“Oh,” is all she can say.

“We can’t deal with this right now,” Cass says. “There’s a group of Voragines coming up the street right now, and I bet by all six of our demon blood and the pegasi, that they can smell us and will come up here. So I suggest we be prepared.” She takes a deep breath. “Arm Mara with a sword, and be ready.”

Garvin, Lilith, and Monroe pull their swords from their scabbards and raise them in a defensive position. Monroe tosses Cass another sword from his second scabbard, and she catches it. Garvin walks over to Honey and holds out a silver sword.

“Take this,” he says to her. “You will know what to do.” He smiles and places the sword in her hands. Honey can feel something when his skin touch hers, another spark of fire, but she still cannot find the substance that lights it.

“What’s my name? My real name?” she asks him, looking into his eyes.

“Your name is Mara Blackwood,” Garvin says. “You’re like me, a Champion of the Immortal World.”

“Blackwood?” she asks. “Like Cass?”

“She didn’t tell you?” he asks. “She’s your sister.”

Honey’s mind races, but she knows that this isn’t the time to take all of this in. All she knows is that she needs to help these people defend themselves from Voragines, the bloodsucking monsters that tried to kill Vic and her a year ago. These last two years are all she remembers. She wonders what life she must have had back when she was Mara Blackwood. Whoever she was, she is not that girl anymore. Through the deprivation of her memories, she has been reborn. Honey holds the silver sword in her hands, a sword engraved with beautiful symbols. She wonders if they mean something special to someone. She can feel the power in her dainty hands. The power coursing through her blood.

She knows now who she is, who she will always be.

She looks up at Garvin and sees him staring at her. She gives him a smile of reassurance and grasps the sword in her hands. She raises the sword up between her and Garvin.

“I don’t know who you are, Garvin,” she begins. “I might’ve long ago, but not anymore. I have many questions, but little answers. I do not need them right now because I know what I am, what I will always be: a warrior.”

She lowers the sword and walks away. She approaches the others and raises her sword like they do. Cass looks over to her.

“Are you ready?” she asks.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

About two dozen Voragines scale the building, their sharp teeth snarling and their razor-edged nails digging into the brick. They are pale beings with murderous eyes. Her muscles tighten and her heart beat quickens. She tightens her grip on the sword as they grow closer. She backs away from the edge. Cass and the others stay where they are, ready for battle. But she thinks she can defend herself by standing back.

Lilith swings her bronze sword and slices off the head of an ugly Vorago. Her stomach twists at the sight of the headless body, the severed head, and the sprayed blood all over. She wonders how no one on the streets can see the horror above their heads. Monroe impales another and it falls to the ground. In Brielle’s hands, a ball of fire forms, growing bigger and bigger. She throws it at a Vorago, and its body is consumed by the flames. He burns and plummets to the Earth. Cass slashes a Vorago, and Garvin slits another’s throat.

Strangely, she has no trouble believing that this chaos is her world.

Another Vorago sprints towards the girl and snarls his teeth at her. She raises her sword, and swings the blade straight through his heart. He falls to the ground. Blood spills everywhere. It feels so natural, the killing of demons. Her heartbeat quickens and the blood in her veins boils. Another attacks her, and she slices off its head. Energy rushes down her spine, an odd place where power would emerge. She slashes one Vorago, two Voragines, three Voragines. It’s so easy.

After so many Voragines dead, the warriors finally stop and lower their weapons. All eyes turn to the girl. Her clothes are covered in blood, her hair thrown all about because of fighting, and her body weakening right in front of them. She trudges over to the edge and looks down. The people keep walking. They don’t even notice the battle that roared above them moments ago.

Tears burn in her eyes and her knees buckle. If Cass is right, she is demon, but she is also human. That bit of human lingering in her body, her soul, keeping her bound to this Earth, this world.

Suddenly, the others are yelling at her, warning her. They’re telling her to turn around. She spins as quickly as she can, but it’s too late. The last growling Vorago is running toward her at what it seems like light speed. He pushes her, and it knocks her off the roof.

It’s very slow actually, contrary to what most people might think falling to your own death feels like. The wind rushes against her face, flapping her hair and her blood-sprayed clothes. There’s a scream, multiple actually, coming from above. She spreads her arms out like a bird and shuts her eyes. She is prepared to face the Grim Reaper. She doesn’t know why, but death feels natural, normal even.

There is another burst of energy emerging from her spine. She doesn’t know what it is, but she knows that there is something familiar about the power. A great pain spikes out from her back, and she opens her eyes. Instead of plummeting straight to her death, she swoops back up into the air, miraculously. She doesn’t know what is happening. It’s as if her weight disintegrates and she becomes as light as a feather. The wind gusts against her body. The buildings pass by her in a split second as she heads towards the sky.

She’s rising like the break of dawn, and the Earth is bowing down to her.

She stops and rises above every building in New York. She looks down and sees the roof she fell off of. Cass and the others are staring at her as if she is an impossibility. But their stares tell her everything that she needs to know. They aren’t goggling at her. They are gaping at what’s on her back.

Glorious, pure, white-feathered wings sprout from her spine and sprawl out like a newborn bird ready to take flight. They flap back and forth gracefully, but powerfully. Her breathing grows harder and her heart leaps into her throat. She kicks her legs in the air, trying to fly back to the roof. It doesn’t do much good.

Then, she realizes that the power isn’t in her legs, it’s her wings. An impossible saying in her mind. She pushes the energy from her feet to her spine. She screams in agony trying to bring herself to the force the vitality to take her home. Her blood boils and her heart feels like it is on fire. She shuts her eyes and pushes her wings. She can feel the world still shifting beneath her feet. She can feel herself advancing, but does not know where.

She opens her eyes and can see herself growing closer to them. She grins and pushes herself closer towards the roof. She kicks until the soles of her shoes touch the brick. Cass and Garvin reach out to bring her in, and once she firmly planted on the roof, the wings are sucked into her back. She reaches over to touch it and feels the holes in her clothes from the winged birth. Still such a strange phrase. “Her wings.”

Cass embraces her and smacks her lips on her forehead. She hugs her sister back and laughs.

“Are you okay?” Cass asks.

“Not completely,” she says as she releases Cass. “But when I get my memory back, I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“I can help with that,” Brielle pipes up. “When we arrive at the Bureau, I can concoct a memory recovery potion, but we have to stop off at the Council first to have you deemed pure.”

“What’s the Bureau?” she asks.

“Champions’ base of operations,” Monroe says. “It’s where we eat, sleep, and plan missions.” He pauses. “Now we know what your mother is, Mara.”

“An angel?” she asks.

Monroe nods. “A rarity among Champions. Angels don’t spend much time in the Mortal World, and most of them believe anything with human blood is a disgrace. But I guess your father must’ve been something special.”

“I wish I knew,” she mumbles.

“It’s going to be alright, Mara,” Cass says.

The girl looks up to the sky, and wonders. Wonders what will be her fate. Wonders who she was, who she is, who she will be. She was once the girl with no name. A girl who woke up in an alley, and was found by a boy she truly loves, and he loves her back the same way. Someone who didn’t know anything about the real world, the cruel and unforgiving world. She is, and always will be, the girl who flew, flew in the sky with the wings of an angel. She was once the girl dying on the Earth, but now she is the girl in the sky, so very much alive.

Inside

I am stuck, in the oddest sense of the word. I know exactly where I am, and know I will never get out. I am on the inside. It’s the only way to describe where I am. The alternate inside. The unofficial prison of hell. Twenty thousand miniature mechanics stimulating complete and total isolation. It’s basically a never ending prison cell. Separated only by doorframes (no doors) are the three rooms: the bedroom, the bathroom and the waiting room. You eat, think, confess, write, whatever you want to do in the waiting room. It’s just a white couch and a white coffee table in a white space with a white ceiling and white floors – everything is white here.

SLAM.

The food slot closes, jolting me out of my daydream. The food is a bowl of oatmeal, just the palest of grey-browns. There is never anything else. It is actually very comfortable in here, but in a redundant way. There is nothing to do, only a notepad of pure white paper and a white ballpoint pen that flows with grey ink, barely a color at all. In fact, it has been proven that people released are almost color-blind because of the whiteness. The only color is my uncovered hands, but even those look white under the fluorescent lighting. Everything is made to be monotone, boring, so precise that you will forget any wrong you did, or think it was a dream. As I said, the perfect prison. And the brilliant thing is that you can keep up to ten people in the same room and none of them will acknowledge or see the others in their simulation. Thirty if you strap them down. You can keep people in here for centuries after they die, and they will still live inside the simulation. The genius behind this must be evil. Ha, thinking like I’ve been here years already. I am best friends with the person who made this. Her kindness was unmatched in all the years I’ve lived. And I can’t even blame it all on her, either. I was the engineer.

A Lesson Learned

Ethan walked into his house and took off his backpack. He ran upstairs to his room, only to see his parents standing in front of his door.

“What’s going on?” Ethan asked.

“You and I both know what’s going on,” his dad answered.

“And what’s that?” Ethan said, trying to act innocent.

“You know… your graffiti that you left on the school wall,” his mom said. “Ethan, this is the 16th time this has happened. The police came over and told us. We’re very disappointed in you. As your punishment, you are grounded for life.”

Ethan stared at them, pushed his parents out of the way and slammed the door shut, then quickly locked it. His parents pounded on the door for a few minutes while occasionally yelling. Eventually it stopped. Ethan started gathering his clothes and put them in a small suitcase.

“I’m obviously a disappointment to them. They probably don’t even want me,”  Ethan muttered to himself. When he was done packing his clothes, he went to the kitchen and grabbed sandwich supplies and stuffed them in his backpack. When night came, he grabbed his backpack and suitcase and quietly walked downstairs. The stairs creaked as he walked down them. When he arrived at the front door he slowly opened it, stepped outside, then closed it.  

He sprinted down the sidewalk, dragging his suitcase behind him. He turned the corner of the street and headed toward the forest. The trees loomed over him, casting a dark shadow. He sprinted toward the center, crunching leaves and snapping twigs. He slowed down and sat for a break.

He heard rustling and he turned around. Behind him was a map taped to a tree. He grabbed it and opened it. It showed a strange world with four giant land masses at each direction. He pressed his finger against the map and instantly disappeared.

He reappeared in a desert. The sun was very dim and his eyes took some time to readjust. He glanced around. There was little life except some cacti and the occasional rats. His head throbbed with questions. He looked at his hands. He just realized that he was still holding the map. His backpack had also disappeared. He laid the map across a flat rock and pressed his finger on the map, waiting to be teleported. Nothing happened. He panicked. He started rushing around trying to find help, but it seemed like the desert continued forever.  Why am I here??? I was just in a forest and now I’m suddenly in a desert?  he thought.

He finally stopped to take a break. Behind him he heard a rustling sound. He whirled around to see what it was. It was just a raven. In its beak was a scroll. He jumped at the raven to get it, but the raven would just teleport a short distance away.  Eventually he got so frustrated that he picked up a rock and chucked it at the raven. It hit the bird, and the bird slumped over. He picked up the scroll. He opened it.

Inside, it read, Hello child. I know you want a way out of this endless desert and only I have the answers. To get the answer you must first complete two tasks for me. If you succeed then go to this same spot and you’ll get your reward. Here are the tasks I wish for you to do for me. First you must find the oasis. There will be a door. On both sides of the door will be a panel full of numbers. You must type each number within 1 second of each other. Here is the passcode you must type in, 1 (left), 6 (right), 4 (left), 9 (right) and 2 (left). Each time you fail you will be incapacitated with great pain.

For your second task, you will climb up a mountain. At the top are two doorways. Each doorway leads to twice as many doorways there has been before. When you step in the doorway on the left a sheet will appear having the answers to the doorway on the right. But if you leave the sheet will temporarily disappear until you step back in. Everything I told you also applies to the doorway on the right except it contains the answers to the doorway to the left. If you step in the wrong doorway you also will be incapacitated with great pain and will have to restart. Only one of you has to go through the last door to complete it. When you complete a task, you will earn food and water to keep yourself alive. From: The One Who Watches.

Ethan rolled it up and put it in his pocket. Ethan looked up at the sky and shouted, “This is impossible! How am I supposed to do this alone?”

Suddenly another scroll dropped from the sky and landed near him. He picked it up and unravelled it. Inside it read, I will be sending another child who is also stuck in this desert like you to help.

Ethan then dropped this scroll and looked around. It seemed like there was no help coming toward him. He turned around and suddenly another kid was there standing face to face with him. Ethan backed up. The kid was tall with impatient green eyes and messy hair. Ethan jumped back in surprise.

“Are you the help the scroll sent for me?” Ethan asked.

“I guess,” the kid said, “My name’s Michael, but call me Mike. Yours?”
“I’m Ethan,” Ethan replied. “Why are you here?”

“I ran away from home to a forest. Found a compass. As soon as I touched it, I got teleported here,” Mike said.

“Same. Except I found a map instead of compass,” Ethan replied.

“Well Ethan, let’s get started then.”

“But… where do we go?”

“Ethan use your brain. You’re holding a map.”

“Oh, right.” Ethan hadn’t even realized that he was still clenching the map in his hand.

Ethan grabbed his map. It showed the same land masses he saw in the forest. The biggest one was covered in sand, so Ethan assumed that he and Mike were there. Mike leaned in to get a look at the map. On the map it showed little symbols. There was a raven, a mountain and a lake with trees.

“So. We’re at the raven, right?” Ethan asked.

Mike grunted, “Think so. I saw a raven flying by who gave me my scroll.”

Mike snatched the map out of Ethan’s hands and held up his compass. “We need to go north,” he announced. Mike rushed forward while Ethan lumbered behind. Eventually they found the oasis. It seemed so out of place. A pool of water and some palm trees in an ocean of sand. Ethan’s stomach grumbled. Ethan looked around. “Do we have any food?”

“No, but the scroll said that if we complete a task we will earn food. Can’t you read?” Mike answered.

“Let’s do it, then!” Ethan said. He ran toward the door, eager to get his meal. Ethan tripped on a rock and fell face first into the sand. He wiped his face and stumbled and fell in the pond. Mike stood behind and laughed as Ethan climbed out. Ethan just turned around and tried to ignore Mike laughing at him. He took out his scroll and looked at the passcode then at the door looming in front of him. The door was at least ten feet tall and six feet wide.

He pressed the first number then rushed to the other side. Suddenly he dropped. He felt like molten lead was being poured on him. He wailed in agony. His vision became blurred. Then everything went dark. He woke up with Mike staring at his face.

“You okay?” Mike asked.

Does it look like I’m okay?  Ethan wanted to say, but it hurt too much to talk, so he managed a weak nod. Mike grabbed his arm and heaved him upright. Ethan leaned against Mike for support.

Mike said, “What were you thinking, trying to finish the first task by yourself? You must be really stupid or brave to attempt that.”

“I wanted a meal,” Ethan said as his stomach grumbled.

“If you waited until I was there we could’ve done it in no time.”

“Okay, let’s do it now.”

Ethan stood on the left side while Mike stood on the right. Mike brought his own scroll out and glanced between the number panel and the passcode.

Ethan held up his own scroll and said, “Ready?”

Mike nodded, “Ready.”

Ethan pressed the first button. Then Mike glanced over and pressed the next button. They continued until the last button had been pushed. The door hissed. Mike and Ethan stepped back. The door continued sliding open. Ethan stared into the doorframe. Inside was just white. A glowing white that shone light. Then two horses appeared. They had saddles and reins. The horses walked out the door then the door slowly closed.

Ethan said, “Is this our food? Are we supposed to eat the horses?”

Mike rolled his eyes, “Shouldn’t we check the saddlebags first?”

“Oh right… yeah,” Ethan muttered.

Ethan walked up to the horse. The horse seemed friendly and didn’t seem to mind Ethan rummaging through the saddlebag. Ethan pulled out a hamburger, a backpack, and a note. The note read, I heard people like eating these… hamburgers, so that’s what I decided to give you. Return this crown to me after you’re done with your second task.

Ethan opened the backpack. Inside was a crown. He slung the backpack over his shoulder and put the note in his pocket. He quickly gobbled down the burger. The hamburger tasted like cardboard, but Ethan was too hungry to complain. Mike also got a note and hamburger in the other horse’s saddlebag. He put the note back in the saddlebag and ate the hamburger. Once he finished he said, “Well, let’s go complete the second task now.”

Ethan nodded. Mike jumped on to a horse and turned around. “Why did you run away?” he asked.

Ethan sighed and said, “I’m a graffiti artist and I sprayed the school building. My parents found out and don’t love me anymore, so I ran away.” Mike nodded and spurred the horse kicking sand in Ethan’s face. Ethan wiped away the sand and jumped onto his horse and rode after Mike.

Once Ethan caught up with with Mike he said, “Wait, where are we going? Shouldn’t we check the map?”

Mike grabbed the map from Ethan’s pocket and looked at his compass. Then looked at the map. “We’re going the right way,” he informed him. “Follow me, so you won’t get lost ‘cause I know you will.”

Ethan muttered an insult under his breath while Mike forged ahead. Eventually when they arrived at the mountain they realized that it was surrounded by water, meaning that they had to abandon their horses and swim across. The water was very deep and dangerous and sharp, jagged rocks jutted out from the water.

“How do we get across?” Ethan asked.

“I don’t know,” Mike said.

“Do we search around for a way across?” Ethan suggested.

“Okay.”

Mike and Ethan walked around the perimeter of the island and found two small wooden canoes. Inside each canoe was a note that read, Good luck surviving.

“Wow. What a helpful note,” Ethan said sarcastically.

“Well, let’s get to it,” Mike said.

They climbed into their canoes and pushed themselves into the water. Immediately Mike propelled forward, toward a sharp, jagged rock. Ethan pushed forward with his paddle and when Mike’s canoe was in reach he grabbed it before Mike crashed.

“Thanks,” Mike said.

“No problem. Without you I would be stuck here forever,” Ethan said.

Ethan and Mike continued struggling towards the island until they finally hit land. They climbed out and looked around.

“Now we climb the mountain, right?” Ethan said.

“Yup.”

Mike and Ethan headed towards the mountain looming over them. Soon Mike and Ethan got separated because the mountain was surrounded by thick vegetation.

“Mike, where are you?” Ethan yelled.

“I don’t know, where are you?” Mike yelled back.

Ethan thought, Wow really helpful Mike. Thanks. Ethan looked up trying to see where the mountain was but his vision was blocked by the canopy of the trees. He decided to follow his instincts and continue moving forward. Eventually night fell and Ethan  was still lost. I wonder how my parents are. They probably don’t ever miss me.  They are probably celebrating my disappearance.  Shadows were cast upon the ground. Ethan decided to give it a break and continue when morning came. He lay down on the ground and prepared for sleep, but then he heard rustling. He sat up and looked around. Suddenly a figure burst out of the bushes. Ethan jumped back and started backing up until he realized that the figure was Mike.

“There you are!” Mike said.

“How did you know where to find me?” Ethan asked.

“I heard some noise, so I headed toward the sound.”

“It’s too dark to see. We should wait until morning,” Ethan said.

Ethan and Mike lay down on the ground and slept. Ethan woke up to Mike shaking him repeatedly.

“C’mon. Let’s go,” Mike said.

“Why do we need to leave so early?”

“I just got a note that said that  if we don’t finish this in the next day we’ll be stuck here forever.” Mike said.

Ethan got up quickly and said to Mike, “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

They walked up through the forest until they got to the base of the mountain. Ethan hadn’t realized just how steep it was. Mike searched for a handhold and heaved himself up. Ethan followed. They made progress going up the mountain. Then Ethan grabbed a loose rock and fell. His fall was stopped by Mike who quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him back up. They found a ledge and rested.

“Thanks for saving me,” Ethan said.

“No problem. You saved me before,” Mike said.

They sat down until they started climbing again. Ethan’s muscles ached as they approached the summit. Mike stood up and pulled Ethan up. The two doors were at the middle.

“I’ll take the left side and you take the right, okay?” Ethan said.

Mike nodded. They headed towards the doors. Ethan opened his door and saw a sheet of paper. It read, Second door (from left to right).

Mike shouted at Ethan, “Go to the first door!”

Ethan shouted back, “Left to right, right?”

Mike replied, “Yep.”

Ethan then said, “Second door from left to right.”

They continued until Ethan came across a trick. On his paper it said the door from right to left. Ethan hadn’t realized this until he heard Mike scream in pain.

“MIKE!” Ethan shouted.

“Yeah?” Mike said weakly.

“What happened?”

“I got teleported outside.”

“I came across a trick. It said right to left even though all the other ones said left to right. I’m coming back, ok?”

“No, don’t,” Mike said. “You’re on the last door. Just pick one and hope for the best.”

Ethan wanted to disagree, but they were running out of time. He walked up to the 17th door out of the 34 doors and braced himself. Instantly he was teleported outside. Instead of feeling great pain, a door appeared with a backpack and a note. He picked up the backpack. Inside was a scepter and more burgers. The note read, Please return the scepter and the crown to me. You know where to find me. Ethan gave the backpack to Mike and said, “So now we go back to the desert?”

“I guess,” Mike said, “but shouldn’t we eat first?”

Ethan hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now. He grabbed a burger and ate it. The burger tasted just as bland as the last one.

Mike put the backpack on and walked through the door. Ethan followed behind him. They appeared at the desert. They followed the map and compass and reached the raven symbol. There was nothing around. Suddenly a doorway materialized out of the air and a hooded figure stepped out.

“You have completed both tasks I sent you to do. Now to return home you must return my items,” the hooded figure said.

Ethan presented the crown and Mike gave the hooded figure the scepter.

“Very good children. Now I will tell you why I sent you here.”

“You sent us here?”

“Yes I did. I did to help you children learn how to work with others. Both of you hated working with others so I grouped you together so that you would learn your lesson. You are now free to go.”

Ethan spent some time taking this in. Wow. Was I really like this?  Well at least I’m a better person now.  Then he said, “Bye, Mike.”

Mike smiled, “Bye.”

They walked through the door and were teleported away. Ethan appeared in the forest holding the map in his hand. He left it where he found it and ran home. The door flew open and his mom yelled, “Where were you! You were gone for two days. We were worried.” Ethan stared at her. She looked like she might burst into tears.

“Worried? I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.”

“Ethan. Even though we were mad at you, that doesn’t mean we don’t care about you.”

“But why did you ground me for life?”

“Maybe we were a little too harsh,” his mom admitted. “I think you deserve a second chance, Ethan. As long as you try to be nicer and stay out of trouble.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Where did you go?”

He reflected on everything that had happened. Maybe it wasn’t just a random occurrence.  Maybe  I deserved this.  He smiled. “I just got lost.”

R(un)ning Away

My face is damp. I can’t feel my throat. I sluggishly walk to the water left over from yesterday, and moisten my lips with a few drops. I quickly run back to the floor, worried that Father will wake up and slap me for using the scarce water we have. I start covering my bony body with my blanket but then see the morning sun streaming through the twigs. Time to start my chores. I take the big bucket from the kitchen, put on my sandals, and start walking down the dusty path to the river. I’ve been walking down this path for seven years and I’ve never had the urge to run away, find a new life, a new beginning. Father and Mother would never let me leave, for fear of what is over the trash-piled mountains, but I don’t.

As I calm Baji in my arms I look in her deep green eyes, look at her scarred face, and she smiles at me. Should I take her with me? Should I free her from the chains of life? After all, she will end up like me, with no future, no money. No, I can’t. She’ll be too much of a burden. I put her back down on my blanket and take one last look at our house (if it even is one) and embark on my journey for a new life.

“Where are you going?” Mother screams.

“I’m going to Arva’s house to play with her,” I lie.

“She’s not there, she got sent off.”

“Oh, then I’ll go, um, get some more water.”

I rush out the door before my tears wash my dirty face. Poor Arva. I never thought her parents would be so cruel to send her off. She’ll get treated like an animal. Her poor little body will be ripped in half.

I run. Run for her, run for me. I can’t risk my parents sending me off.

I’ve been walking for a day now, my feet are as dirty as the ground, and I smell like the garbage that surrounds me. Finally, some trees! I take the big dirty blanket from under my feet and bring it over to the tree. The shade envelops my dark skin to make it even darker and I collapse onto the blanket.

The hard wind strikes my body and I pull the blanket to cover myself. Something’s there, like an anchor. I dismiss it and try pulling the other side. It takes me just a second to realize my clothes are off my body and a coarse hand is stroking it. I quickly turn back around lying face to face with a scarred one-eyed old man. “Stop moving, darling, the fun hasn’t even started.”

I stand up, still processing the abuse I’ve just experienced. I grab a piece of metal just an inch away from me and hit the old man with all my might. I see blood streaming down his neck and know he is dead. I immediately start praying and ask god for my forgiveness. I walk and watch the sun reflect on my piece of metal. I know that I’ll be needing it now.

The metal scrapes me every now and then but I dismiss it. The only thing on my mind is water, I know that if I don’t get it soon I’ll be too weak to walk. I need to get a job, make money, get food. I’m about to turn around, end this adventure, and go back to my boring hut but I see a sign. Asarganj it says in bright red with an arrow pointing to the right. Asarganj is where mother’s from! Maybe I’ll find aunty, she won’t tell on me, she never liked mother anyway.

Asarganj, this is where mother grew up. Dusty streets, shady people, the smell of dead bodies. Beggars, dogs, the sound of gambling, and there it is the legendary Dream House where prostitutes bathe in gold. Only the best of the best serve there, they come in poor and come out queens, but their minds are scarred forever. I can’t resist. It won’t hurt to go inside and take a quick look. This is a place of magic. I touch the cold gold metal on the door and rush in.

Scarves, mist, sound everywhere. I push the scarves away, already feeling like a queen, and find myself standing next to men bidding on women. “100,” “150,” “200,” “300,” “Sold.”

“What’s happening here?” I ask a nice-looking man.

“I’ll take her for ten.”

Everyone laughs.

The next thing I know a woman so covered in makeup you’d think she’s a doll touches my shoulder. “Honey, you seem hungry and tired. Come with me,” she says.

I’m so hungry by now I don’t care if they’ll kill me, so I follow her. We walk into a room with wooden tables and chairs filled with more dolls. All the women look at me.

“Kindra, who’s this?” one of them asks.

“She’s hungry, we’ll talk later.”

“Honey, take some bread with your soup,” Kindra says.

“What were those men doing?” I ask.

“Oh, just playing a game. Are you done?” I nod my head. “Follow me.” I follow Kindra through the sea of dolls and we go inside a room. The room smells of incense with a big lumpy bed adorned with scarves.

“Who’s this? You know I’m busy,” says a woman, so thin I can see her heart.

“She came in. What should I do with her?”

“Girl, why did you come here?”

“I wanted to see if the legends are true,” I say.

“Oh, they are. Would you like to work here?” the skeleton woman says.

“Marji, she’s just a little girl.” Kindra stares at Marji as if communicating with her telepathically.

“We need a greeter, don’t we?”

“Yes, miss.”

“So, do you want the job?”

“How much would you pay me?” I ask.

“A greedy one we have. Ten each day.”

That’s more than I’ve ever seen. “I’ll take it.”

“Good. Kindra, go dress her up.”

The bony woman then turns around and vanishes into another room.

“Come on, we don’t have all day,” says Kindra. We walk past multiple rooms with weird noises seeping out. “You know, you’re lucky. Fathers send girls over here a few years older than you and make them work here for as long as they like. Of course, the fathers get the money and Marji gets half. She doesn’t like that it happens but she’ll lose all her money if she doesn’t.” We walk into a room with many women transforming into dolls. They paint their faces with vibrant colors and attach feathers to their hair. “Come here,” Kindra says. I sit down on a velvet chair and let the dolls make me into one of them. A crisp blue is put on my eyes and a mash of purple and red put on my lips. They then undress me and put me in a glittery sari. I turn to look at my new self. All my life I’ve been told to hide, be invisible, but now no one can miss me, everyone must see me. I’ll be the sun goddess in the pool of dark, I’ll be the only flower in the garden. All the dolls are looking at me, laughing. “Yes, you’re beautiful. Let’s go. You’ve got work to do.”

“Come to the Dream House, where your dreams will become reality.” That’s my phrase. Kindra says to say it every 20 seconds, so I do. “Come to the Dream House, where your dreams will become reality.”

My first customer. A man approaches me in a nice white shirt and immediately examines my demeanor, as if he’s hiring me for a job. “What are you doing here young lady?”

“I work here.”

“Well, you can come work for me, I give 20.”

“What would I do?”

“Have fun.”

“Get out of here, Bakul,” screams Kindra.

The man grins with familiarity and says, “You wanna work for me too?”

“No. Now leave, before I call Marji.”

“See you tomorrow,” he says.

“He comes here every day, takes girls and doesn’t let them leave,” Kindra says to me.

“Thank you,” I say.

“For what?

“Warning me.”

“Get back to work.”

***

“Good work today. It´s only your second day and you’re a pro. Here’s your money. Now let’s eat,” says Kindra. We walk back through the hallways and Kindra brings me to a room. “Wake up at 6:00 to start again. Good night.”

I open the door to my room and see it’s not just my room. Three girls around my age are sitting on the floor eating. I look at the brownish broth with a little fish head popping out. “I’m Ashmira,” I say.

“Here’s your food. I’m Bindi.” Bindi’s face, like all the others, is covered with makeup, but it’s covering something. Bruises and a black eye.

“That’s what happens when you resist,” she says.

“Who did it?” I ask.

“He did,” Bindi points to the bed. Bindi stares me down with envy and confusion.

“You’re lucky. You get a choice. I don’t.”

“What do you mean?” Then I remember what Kindra told me –– her father sent her.

“My family needed money, we had no house, no food, nothing. They sent me here when I was eight and when they got what they needed, that wasn’t enough. They wanted more. They now have servants and banquets and I get nothing. All I get is bruises. I finally got sick of this life and decided to rebel, but that didn’t work. They lock this room all night, so don’t think you’re getting out.”

A cold rush of insecurity runs through my veins. Mother and Father could’ve sent me off but they didn’t, even if they were going to starve. They did everything for me.

“But I don’t work for my family.”

“I know, but do you think they care? They have more power than you. It was a mistake coming here.”

I look closely at her to make sure she’s not exaggerating. What if she’s right? What if I’m going to become a slave?

“It’s all a trick,” I say.

Bindi´s eyes glitter with satisfaction and delight.

“Exactly. They lure you in with niceness, but when you start working, there’s no going back.”

“What do we do?”

“I’m glad you asked. Have you seen that man that comes every day?”

“Yes. Kindra says he enslaves girls.”

“She’s lying, she only says that to make you stay here, not go with him.”

Is she crazy! Who would go with a complete stranger to a foreign place?

“So you want to go with him?”

“Yes.”

“But what if he kills you, doesn’t give you food?”

“It’s better than here.”

I then realize I can argue with her no more and that she would risk her life to get out of this place.

“When are you going?”

“Whenever you decide. You’re the only one who gets to talk to him. Get more information. But hurry up, we can’t stand another day here”

Nobody talks, we all just go to bed. We don’t bother taking our makeup off, or getting undressed.

***

“So you’ll pay us 20?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says.

“What if we want to leave?”

He pauses for a moment trying to figure out the right words to answer my question with.

“Then you can, but I don’t think you’d want to.”

“What exactly would we do?”

“I told you yesterday, have fun, but you’ll see for yourself if you come.”

“When can you take us?”

“Any day, just be ready when I come.”

“Why does Kindra say you enslave girls?.”

“I don’t, she just says that because she worked for me once, we didn’t get along. I have to go.”

He walks away, looking at his gold rings not paying attention to where he walks.

***

“He told me Kindra worked for him,” I say.

“I knew it.”

Bindi squints her eyes and looks at me as though she just solved a murder mystery.

“Why did she leave?”

“Who knows? Maybe too little pay, or boredom.”

“He said we can leave any day. We don’t even have to tell him in advance.”

“Great!”

“Doesn’t this seem a little too good to be true? 20 a day and no restrictions.”

“Some people are just rich, Ashmira.”

“We need to find out more before we go.”

“Why? Do you know how much it hurts to have men pushed up your body whenever they want?”

I see the pain in her eyes and I know that if I refuse her stare will kill me.

“I’m sorry. We can go tomorrow.”

Should I go with them? I’m getting paid a good amount and no one is enslaving me, at least I don’t think they are. What if this man abuses us and feeds us poison? No, I should believe the people who have been here the longest, like Bindi. And what if she’s right?

***

“Run, get into the truck!” he screams.

Bindi sees the sun and starts crying. “Fresh air.”

“Hurry up.”

We all scramble into the truck and immediately start going. I look at the Dream House and realize the legends aren’t true, they’re just advertisements. I see Kindra run outside and she’s also crying. Why is she crying? Is he going to kill us? She curses at the man and quickly calls someone. The police? No, they can’t come to the Dream House, they’ll arrest her not him.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

He looks back at me and shows me he’s the king of this truck.

“Stop asking questions.”

We situate ourselves strategically so that we can run away if we have to. I then realize that the two other girls aren’t here and that they ran back to the Dream House at the last minute.

***

¨Okay, get out,” he says.

We walk out to face a big muddy path with a forest surrounding us.

“The car won’t go through so we have to walk.”

He starts to walk so we follow. After three hours we finally come upon a big grand house, or should I say castle? Bindi and I hug each other in disbelief and both of us start sobbing. I then see something through a window. Five girls are putting on makeup, their doll makeup. The mysterious man displays a wide grin. It occurs to me that Bindi was wrong, Kindra was right and I’m trapped. I realize that no matter where I go or where I work I will never be free. I realize that even though my family had close to nothing they still loved me. I realize that I had freedom and now I don’t.

Rosadel Infinitum, 71

Sevaa’ane

Finally. After three years of being the only one free, finally. She seems willing. How willing, though, is what I am going to test right now.

“Do you trust me?” I start, like I’ve started with the other twenty.

“No. But I trust that you like me. And I trust that you would be a valuable friend, and a terrifying enemy. So, if you are asking a favor, yes, I trust you to not stab me in the back.”

She is the tenth to understand the question.

“Do you trust, in any way, that I would never break the law?”

“At all? No. But more than you needed to? Never.”

Perfect. Should I show her now? No. She would be scared, more than she should be. But I must ask her. I am the only one left to ask her. We need to. I need to. My hand comes out of my pocket, slowly. She has never seen it for more than a second, but now I purposely slow my movements. Purposely letting her see the red blisters covering the sides of my twisted hand.

“You have one of the last few cures.”

She does not balk, but watches, transfixed by my hand. The one that has thrown so many knives now that I cannot remember who they hit.

“I do.”

She doesn’t back down. Stubborn. Like I am. Was. Am. I don’t know. She is confused by my pause.

“What of it?”

“You could take it, become more powerful than me. You could take my knives and rule the streets that I have taken. You could let me become just another victim of the plague. Or you could give it to me, and we could be unstoppable.”

Her fingers, in her left pocket, touch the syringe. She is thinking. Looking at my outstretched hand, half the palm twisted upwards by disease that has ruined my family. Is ruining. Has ruined. I don’t know. She is thinking, I presume, about the power she holds over me. The power I gave her over me. She takes it out. Looks at the drug that reminds me of red mercury liquid in its steel and glass package. She injects my hand. The pain starts to dissipate.

“Why?”

I need to know. What power does she want from me that is greater than ruling the streets of this metropolis’ underground?

“You are a formidable enemy now. Not only could you have killed me in seconds WITHOUT the cure, you could have then gotten it from someone else. I trust you as a partner, but the moment that ends, I do not trust you as a friend.”

She’s learned me well in these two weeks.

“Good.”

***

Firna

The room we share is in disrepair. I bought it from an underground retailer, like she did her home. But her home is dead. Mine isn’t. I’m not sure why she didn’t get the cure herself. She doesn’t seem the kind to want an ally in this cruel line of work. She seems like the one that sleeps only when surrounded by barbed wire. We are polar opposites in style, also. She is one to throw, hitting every one of her targets in the back of the neck as if she were mere inches away. I am one for poison and venom. Both are silent, but neither of our styles gives off a scream. She is in her head, never seeing anything but possibilities and traps. I am the one that is able to figure out how to get out of any of these traps. I am the one that will walk right into one to create chaos. She is the sniper, I am the liar. Maybe that’s why she wanted to work with me. I wouldn’t know.

One thing that I’ve gathered from her stance is that she has siblings. You can always tell when somebody has siblings by the way they stand, trying to take up room so that the other people can’t. Some call me obsessive over details. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessive, just overtly aware. I know to duck when somebody is throwing a knife. That is survival, not obsession. There is a difference for me. Sometimes, when she thinks I’m not listening, she’ll speak strange sounds, like another language. Just below a whisper, so I wouldn’t normally be able to hear. Almost the way you would expect a rock to speak, grating, harsh, and clipped, but then morphing into water’s speak, soft, lulling, and continuous. Like she’s speaking to the entire earth, except that it ends as suddenly as it began.

She notices me in the room. She notices everything in the room: the window, the walls, the two beds, the old rotting bookcase in the corner of our one room apartment, and the sky outside the window. She looks at it as if she has never seen the sun, and is blinded by its beauty. She speaks with a serpentine accent, almost as if she is stuck on the s’s of the English language. She takes breaths between letters in words. Like she’s from somewhere else, somewhere where nobody has been before.

It’s one o’clock when we get home. Neither of us seems to be tired. Me noticing, her thinking. Her eyes, large on her face, her hair, short, cut so that it is almost like feathers, mottled and brown. But one cannot describe her as owlish. She seems to be trying to portray herself that way, but nobody would think of it. Once every so often, she looks directly at me. Looks directly into me, that’s what it feels like. We are both sitting cross legged on our beds. She is next to the wall, I the window. Her body is never completely still: a finger tapping, a bang being brushed away, a leg bouncing, as though if she stilled she would die. We have both given up pretending to sleep.

I check my watch. Half an hour has passed. She gets up to explore the other parts of the room, looking behind the curtains that serve as walls, the only thing that makes it count as a three room apartment. Her head is constantly cocked to the right. She rolls it occasionally, for no apparent reason. It is late. I will pretend to sleep some more. I rarely actually sleep. I wouldn’t want to miss something that might mean the difference between life and death. However, one can close their eyes and keep watch as effectively. I close my eyes and curl up, my feet against my edge of the wall, both my ears listening for every sound. The vibrations from the wall show she’s done with her inspection, and is heading back. She sees me, and lays in her bed. Her back is to the wall. I hear her rustle a bit, then lay. I continue to pretend to sleep. She sits up and looks at me. She waits a moment. She calls my name softly. I don’t respond. She hesitates, but then she begins to speak in the other language. It is a string of unintelligible sounds. I pick out something confusing from the jumble of sounds.

“Ane cuegra, sepafe popere- Sevaa’adu.”

That word – it wasn’t a word. I puzzle over it till dawn. The word she said, it was almost exactly her name.

***

Sevaa’ane

I know that tomorrow I must fulfill my promise to my family. How I will do this, I don’t know. I can tell that Firna does not trust me. She was awake when I said my prayers last night. She shifted at one of the parts that I added. I hope she did not understand it. The night was long, but the morning is peaceful. When I woke she was almost asleep. She is too scared to sleep. That I can tell. Always ready to flee, like an animal that fears it is being hunted. It is ten past 7 a.m. on her watch when I am woken by the light.

The sun was shining a brilliant saffron when it rose and slowly developed to white. Firna doesn’t notice this. She doesn’t wake, and I don’t wake her. I find dry water jugs and empty paper bags in the cabinet of what she calls “the kitchen,” but is more of a section of wall with cabinets and a rice boiler that is half broken. There are also three dented teapots. The first is labeled P, the second V, the third T. She is suddenly standing beside me, picking up the pot labeled T, dumping oatmeal and water in the boiler, and at the same time telling me that I should never drink out of the other two teapots. she busily fills the teapot, and stacks it on the boiler where the lid is supposed to go. She turns it on. Minutes pass, and the kettle shrieks. She jumps and turns off the boiler, takes the teapot off, and steam comes out of the boiler.

“Oat mush and tea made at the same time means less things to clean,” she explains. I don’t understand that logic, but I’ve never actually made food.

We eat in silence. She stares at me the entire time. I stare back. If either of us is disturbed by this, neither shows it. At some point, she stands. We walk down the over-crowded halls of the apartment building, ignoring the people around us. I am still puzzling over how to introduce my reasoning for the alliance, when she beats me to it.

“Your sibling.”

I’m not even sure how she knows I’m going to say something about the people I came here with, but I’m not going to debate it now that the topic is up.

“She isn’t my sibling, but yes.”

“Whatever they are to you, you want them out.”

She seems to be reading my mind. How does she know this much about me? Does she speak the language? I try a test.

You know this because of my people’s history?”

She doesn’t respond to my muttered question. She doesn’t know Quixeu.

“How do you know about me?”

“You don’t hide, Sevaa’ane. You don’t hide anything at all, not from me.”

I pretend to look dismayed, as if she might have found something important.

“Stop acting. I know you didn’t hide anything physical.”

So she reads people. That explains it.

“So what if I want them out? How does it benefit you?”

I am blunt, to take her guard down.

“No direct benefits of course, but you will be more willing to not kill me.”

She is smart. Doesn’t trust me worth a feather-weight. I wouldn’t trust me worth a featherweight either.

“You know where they are?”

I am asking, not for any real reason. I am curious. She is more a mystery to me than I will ever be to her.

“She would be where you were. Hospital on 56th?” So she can’t read everything about me. Just the obvious ticks.

“On 78th.”

“The prisoner hospital?”

“What makes you think I’m not a prisoner?”

“What makes me think you’re honorable enough to not kill me when I’m sleeping?”

“You didn’t sleep. Not last night. You listened to my prayers. Why?”

She looks at me, searching. I realize that I had reverted to speaking Quixeu. Shoot.

“I don’t know you well enough to know whether I should be scared of you, or laugh.”

Her response is both reassuring and terrifying.

“If you knew me, I would kill you.”

“I don’t know you?”

“You know Sevaa’ane.”

“I know that you are not Sevaa’ane.”

“I am. Just not how you might think.”

“And if I knew how you were Sevaa’ane, I would die.”

She understands some part of me now. I think. “Yes. If you know me, you die. But I don’t kill you.” She laughs now, throws her head back and laughs at my statement.

“A riddle to answer an answer. We are insane!”

“Do you think I’m a prisoner?”

“No. I think you are a girl.”

“But…”

“I think you might have been, at some point. I don’t know, Sevaa’ane. Whoever you are, you probably got on somebody’s nerves, and they got you arrested.”

“If I was a prisoner?”

“You are not in jail now. You probably went to the prisoner’s hospital because the other one didn’t want foreigners.”

She has hit much too close to the truth for me to be comfortable. But no matter – she is helping me get my only true relation out of her cage. If she is letting me do this, I shouldn’t care how close to the truth she gets. But I do care. We aren’t going to go back. We shouldn’t have to go back. I realize I should say something to break the silence.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything you have done with me. For everything we might do later. And I’m sorry if you never know my name.”

“You don’t need a true name to be a person. If I always call you Sevaa’ane, you will still be the same person.”

“We are insane.”

“Yes, we are.”

I look at Firna, so small, and yet so stubbornly strong. I like her. She is like I was. Am. I hope I am.

“Stop giving me the ‘older sister look’ and let’s just do this already!”

Yep. Exactly like I was.

***

Firna

The walk is short. Sevaa’ane seems lighter now. She’s probably been trying to get the cure for her family for years now. I don’t know if I’d hold out that long. I probably would. If my family wasn’t dead already, I mean. And if I wasn’t, you know, one of the only people with enough influence, power, and manipulation to own four cures. I don’t think anybody has enough hold over people to own five. Scratch that, I HOPE nobody has that kind of power. It is a short walk to the 78th street hospital/prison that has been here since before the plague. I think it’s the only non-profit hospital that has stayed relatively open. I can tell why just from the outside. The place is creepier than hell. Sevaa’ane walks to the gate. I have given her two of the syringes, under her coat. She smiles at me, and walks through the rusted metal bars. She looks back at me, a sly smile on her face.

“You gonna come, or do you want to wait?”

I shudder a bit, and she smiles brighter.

“It’s fine, I was joking. I wouldn’t force anybody in here.”

She goes up to the second set of doors, which are not only rusted, but thick and massive as well. She lugs one open, then has gone in without a glance back.

I lean on the chalky crumbling brick pillar by the gates. I know this might take a while, so I sit on the ground next to one. I pull out the notebook I bought and try to sketch a few of the pigeons on the sidewalk. Oh well, at least I have something to do.

***

Sevaa’ane

The inside is just as I remembered it. I was alone in my “room” when I was here, but I know she won’t be. She’ll be with my dad. I bite my tongue as the smell of the place hits me again; rust and blood covered up by cleaning product is a hard smell to forget. Nobody is at the desk, but I sign in anyway. Only three people have come since my sister and I checked in eight years ago. One came two days before I checked out: my father. I search the walls for any indicator of where they might be. I know the plague quarantines are to the left-most hallway. But they should be healed by now, so I look past that one. The right-most is labeled “staff.” The middle hallway’s sign is tarred and graffitied over, but I as I trace my hand over it, I can feel engraved words spelling “recovery rooms.” I follow the painted over walls down to the doors. There are two, with the little windows hanging broken in the thick cement doors. Only now am I tall enough to look through them.

The first room is empty except for the remnants of a beer bottle. The second holds three huddled shadows, covered with blankets. I cautiously try the doorknob. It is unlocked. I open the door after quite a bit of effort and a few choice words. The first two shrouds have huddled towards each other, and it occurs to me that the smaller one is two children. The third person just sits, their back to the wall. I crouch down.

“Father?” I call, not in the language we were later forced to speak in, but the Quixeu we spoke in our house, when we cursed the bad TV and the metal springs in our beds. The first two shades draw back at the different-ness of my voice. Though I am cured, the rasp will never leave me, I suppose.

“Father? Derma?”

The third makes a slight noise in response. A groan? He speaks louder, again, looks up at me. I crouch down. The floor is covered with gravel and soot. It stains my fingers black, like his. He speaks, Quixeu like me. My father.

“Rosa?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Rosa?”

“Where’s Derma?”

“I thought you left.”

“I did. Where’s Derma. Where’s my cousin?”

“Why did you come back?”

“Where’s Derma? I came back for Derma.”

“I don’t know. How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t come for you. You are beyond my compassion. Tell me where my cousin is.”

“She went to the other room. I don’t know. Please, Rosa…”

“There is no one in the other room. I came to get my cousin. Where is she?”

“Rosa, I didn’t mean to. I thought we would be better…”

“I came for Derma. Where is she?”

“She’s gone. I don’t know. The other room.”

“What room?”

“Let me explain why I did it! Let me explain to you what happened!”

“You are beyond my compassion. I’ll ask you one last time. Where is my cousin?”

“Gone. I don’t know. The other room.”

“What room?”

He points, his hands shaking with age and cold, to the door.

“I don’t understand.”

“She went into that room. They took her.”

They took her. But they couldn’t have. No. No, no, no. They would have taken Father, not Derma. Not Derma.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. Rosa…”

“DON’T! I’m not Rosa anymore! I am not your daughter anymore!”

“Please…”

“You said it yourself.You said that night to choose my fate. I am not your Rosa anymore.”

I rock back on my heels.

“One last chance. One last chance to have me back. Tell me where Derma is.”

“She’s gone.”

“Where!”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

“You had a chance to ask? You had a chance to save her?”

“No, you don’t understand! You’re a child, Rosa…”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”

I stand. He looks up at me, pleading. I look back, and deny him.

“I’m so sorry. I did everything I could.”

“You did everything wrong.”

“We were safe.”

I wish I could feel any emotion other than hatred for this man. Honestly, I can’t anymore. Not since what happened.

“Are we safe now? Is everyone safe and sound and happy just like you thought we would be? Look at us! You’re locked freezing in a prison room, Derma’s gone, and I can’t muster enough compassion to get you out! Is that what you wanted?”

“I never said we would be happy. I only said we would be safe.”

“Safe. You injected me with the freaking PLAGUE for God’s sake! That’s SAFE?!”

“No. That’s necessity.”

“Screw you. I don’t know who you are, but you aren’t my father.”

I kick his arm against the wall. He moans, but makes no moves to stop me.The other bundles have scooted against the opposite wall. I can see they are scared. I slowly walk over to the bigger bundle, who I assume is the mother of the child in the smaller. A slight whimper escapes her. I take out the two cures from my bag. Place it at her feet. She looks at me, shocked. I smile slightly.

“For your family.”

She nods her head in gratitude, too confused to acknowledge it at the moment.

I open the door and walk out. In the freezing air, all I can think of are the words my father said, echoing in my skull like a rude taunt. Derma’s gone. That was necessity. Derma’s gone. Didn’t ask.

I sign out at the desk like I did eight years ago. I didn’t come out alone like I did eight years ago. But this time Firna is waiting for me. She sees me, and runs to embrace me. I gently shrug her off.

“Let’s go.”

She doesn’t need any more explanation than that. We walk home in silence.

***

Firna

As soon as we get home, Sevaa’ane starts to speak. Without regard that I’m in the room, she rants, screams in the other language. After a second I hear that it doesn’t seem to be one language. But as soon as I start to recognize one language, she switches, sometimes halfway in between words. But soon it settles into a rhythm of sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard.

“M’paer, paer ro t’vie hermater. T’ete ah hermater ieh m’yoje. Derma, Derma m’hermater…”

She’s staring at the wall, sitting cross-legged now. Suddenly something clicks. Those words. They must be words. I write down the sounds.

M’hermater. Rebincaret. Paer. Wait. Paer. I know that word. I learned that word. Isn’t that…?

I duck from under her gaze. She blinks. I walk slowly backwards, making sure she’s still unaware of me. I run out. I know this language. Some of it at least. In some coffee shop, a high-end one, one pricey enough to still have working wifi. I download a translator for Quixeu. How did I not know that? Enable the microphones I installed in my bedroom. The rant slowly loads into a story that I didn’t know could exist.

***

On the translator in her phone

I remember you were smiling the night before, you can still smile can’t you, and you were laughing. I forget what you were laughing about. Was it something I said? Something we shared?

I’ve changed my name like you said we should. I said no, but now I get why you said that. It’s jarring at first, to have a number instead of a name. But I needed to. For you. I’m calling myself your number now. I remember that your birthday was one day after mine, the seventy-first day of the year. Mine was seventy, and you were always so jealous that I was only 293 days older than you and would get the duties of the older sibling.

Oh, Derma. Where are you now, what are you now?

I tried, tried to get you out of there.

I wish I knew what happened to you. No. Scratch that.

I wish I didn’t.

I wish…

***

Rosa, March 15, 2186, Kingdom of Agayirhet, formerly known as Colony D53 in Bolivia

Father is standing next to our stepmother. She is smiling serenely, but Father looks straight ahead. Why won’t he acknowledge me, his only family now? What does he see in the crowd that is more interesting than his daughter in chains? I feel tears trying to pull themselves out of my eyes, but I dig my nails into my wrist to keep them from coming out. Derma is next to me. She can’t see that this is hopeless. Her hand reaches mine. She slips something into it. It is a knife. I look at her. She looks at me, and then nods to our stepmother. Why couldn’t our government turn out to be a republic? Why are we criminals? Father led the rebellion. Why are we dying? I look at the knife in my hand. Kill the Queen? Sure, why not. Only one more account of treason for my thirteen years of life.

I run through what could happen, and what we’ll need to do. Derma and I will get branded. After that, we will be taken to the jail. But before we are branded, I will kill Stepmother, and Derma will get Father. After we escape we will catch the illegal train in half an hour, and hide in one of the cars like the treacherous people we are. We will go from here to Nuevo Sucre, and from Nuevo Sucre to La Paz, and from La Paz to New York City. I can fight for a living, and Derma will forage the streets. Father will stay home, because he’ll be recognized as a rebel. We will go forth with the plan as if it wasn’t the most ridiculously flawed thing we ever imagined. We will get out. I stare daggers at the cameras that will televise a mandatory screening of our branding. They will see we are stronger. We will escape. I suppose you could call us rebels as well. But not by choice, really.

Stepmother is stepping up to the microphone so that she can announce the punishment. Father stands a few feet back from her, his eyes glazed over like they always are now. I still cannot believe he will not acknowledge us at all. Maybe he’s drugged? Maybe he just doesn’t care? I don’t really want to know. They reveal the torture table, and I crane my neck to see the burning steel shapes. But I don’t see any branding irons at all. All I see are syringes. What? I am not as good as Derma at speaking the new language that has been forced on us, but I see her pale. I squeeze her hand, trying to tell her that we’ll be alright. But her chains are yanked, and we are ripped apart. She screams. Screams my name, not in Quixeu that we usually speak, but in English.

“ROSA!”

She is dragged before the table, where she collapses and begins to sob at Father’s feet. He doesn’t look at her, acknowledge her. Stepmother calls serenely for Derma to choose something. I don’t understand. We were to be branded, me first and then Derma. What is happening? They unshackle her arms, and she sobs louder.

“Here, would it help you if your sister chose first?”

Stepmother cruelly chides her. Anger builds in me. How dare she condescend to her; How dare she insult Derma. I walk to the table. I refuse to be pulled. Derma tugs at the sleeve of my tunic, trying to tell me something without speech. I delay with her for a second, and an understanding passes between us. She will run, and I will fight.

Counting down the seconds until I can get a good shot with my knife, I walk steadily to the table. On it are three choices. A syringe with contents that look like the consistency of half-dried tar but is a metallic copper. The other syringe is blood-red and the consistency of mud. Next to the two of them is a loaded gun. I cannot tell what the syringes contain, but I know the gun means sure death. You cannot survive a shot to the head, but you can survive a disease. My hand wavers over the syringes.

Derma grabs at my shoulder, pulling me back before my hand can settle. She is doing something I didn’t think to do. As she cries, she talks, not to me but to the cameras that are focused on me. She talks in English, displaying the unfairness of our situation to every other person in Agayirhet. She begins to scream. As she thrashes, her hand barely brushes the copper syringe. A guard pulls her back and Father blankly injects the copper sludge into her arm in a matter of seconds. The moment it is finished, she stops crying, as if the tears were a faucet of water. Her eyes glaze over. Her back straightens. Her entire being shifts into a not- quite-human form. She stands stiff and still, saluting to Stepmother.

“There, that wasn’t that hard, was it, honey?”

As Stepmother leans in to taunt Derma, I take my chance and throw. It pierces her under the chin perfectly. She falls from the balcony, shrieking. I try to pull Derma away, but she doesn’t move. She continues to salute to the atrocious sight of the twisted woman tumbling from a height. Father stares blank-eyed. I try to get him to move, but he doesn’t. Both their eyes are like glass, seeing nothing in front of them.

“Derma, wake up! Come on, we have to get out of here! Derma! Father! Anyone!”

A guard shouts for me to be held back. Derma practically jumps into my arms, trying to pin me down. I suddenly realize what the syringe was: Soldier solution. I’ve heard people say how the wires take over your brain, killing you, but I didn’t think to believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. But Father, something breaks in him. He grabs the other syringe and forces it into my throwing hand. The pain is immediate. It is such a stark, harsh feeling that I almost collapse because of it. But I have to carry Derma.

So I grab the gun. It is loaded, and by the weight I would guess I have about ten shots. I carry Derma over one shoulder, point the gun with the other. I aim for the guard shouting orders. I miss and he ducks down. Father is chasing me through the streets towards the train. I can’t really jump, not with the weight of Derma and the near crippling feeling shooting through my body. The train is about to leave, just as I arrive. I toss Derma in first, and her leg hits hard, breaking. I wince. I didn’t mean to. Derma is trying to struggle up, trying to obey the orders to hold me still. Father is almost next to me as I haul myself in. The train begins to move before my legs are even fully in the car. Derma clutches me, her eyes blank. Father is clawing at the train-car behind mine, trying to reach me, to tell me something. I turn away. Clutching Derma so she doesn’t fall out of the car, I huddle into the straw that layers the floor.

The other people stare at me, their eyes processing the two strange girls holding onto each other, one with dead eyes, the other with a loaded gun. They are scared. I am not. I feel as dead as Derma looks. Holding the gun for dear life, I fall asleep. This is not how it was supposed to end. This is not how we are supposed to leave. This is not how… I am asleep and dreaming of injustice before we even get outside of Bolivia, and don’t wake until we’ve crossed the border to America.

Arilla and Endar

Arilla had always been a writer, but always struggled with finding an inspiration. Going to the local coffee shop certainly helped with her creativity, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough. She had thought about using the strange, lilac colored man as her muse, but she could never work up the courage to ask him for his consent.

For two entire years, the man would be at the coffee shop every time Arilla went. At first, she was slightly concerned about it, but eventually realized it must have just been a major coincidence. She knew the man wasn’t stalking her or anything like that, because she had never seen anyone who remotely looked like him outside of the shop. She wondered (only a few times when she was sleep deprived) if she could be stalking him, but once she got coffee into her system, ridiculous thoughts like that were banished from her mind. Once Arilla was done being paranoid, she realized that there were a few other regulars that she saw all the time, so she knew it wasn’t all that odd for both her and the lilac man to inhabit the shop every morning. Even after she knew she had nothing to be afraid of or nervous about, she still felt weird about asking the man, a stranger, to be her muse for a new character. It wasn’t a question that people knew how to answer. Probably because it had never been asked before. Arilla certainly didn’t want to ask that of a random stranger.

Arilla knew nothing about the man, other than the fact that his skin was lilac and his hair was dark. But, because of how much the question and her lack of inspiration tormented her, she began to discreetly observe the little things about him. Not like a stalker would do, Arilla told herself, but like what a journalist or other writers would do. Her observations made it clear that he was an artist. He constantly had charcoal and ink smudged hands as well as paint-stained clothes. Arilla also determined that his eyes were a light grey color, which complimented his black, almost blue, hair quite nicely. In no time at all, she learned many things about him, all of which translated well into a written character. Of course, there were still gaping holes in the knowledge she had of him, so she decided to finally act. Her decision took up to a full month, but that’s neither here nor there.

Her nerves ate away at her as she got up from her seat and made her way toward his table. Unfortunately, that made her unfocused, which lead to her crashing into the very same man she had wanted to talk to. This meant that not only was she more embarrassed than she would have been, but coffee splashed all over her, and the papers that the man must have been holding littered the floor.

They both muttered curses and attempted to help each other. Arilla leaned down to pick up the man’s scattered mess, and he reached over to a vacant table to grab some napkins for Arilla’s own mess.

“I am so sorry!” Arilla’s face burned bright. “I was actually walking to your booth to talk to you, but I was nervous because what I want to say to you is really strange, and it might weird you out-” The man’s chuckling interrupted Arilla’s rambling.

“It’s alright,” he handed her the napkins. “I actually wanted to talk to you, too.”

Arilla reddened even more. “Um, here are your… sketches?” She tried to peer at the stack of paper she was holding before handing them over.

“Thanks,” the man smiled, trying to obscure them from her view.

“Is that me?” She gasped, pointing to the top sheet of paper.

“Well… they kind of all are,” He winced. “You’ve been my muse recently, which is weird, I know.”

“Wow, they’re amazing,” Her eyes widened in awe. “But what’s really weird is that you’ve been a muse to me, but as a character. I’m a writer, not an artist.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “Surely I’m not that interesting.”

“No, you very much are,” Arilla assured him. “But, a character that interesting needs a name.”

“I think Endar suits him,” He held out his hand.

Arilla shook it. “You know, I think that’s an amazing name for him.”

“I’ll need the author’s name, so I can be sure I’m buying the right book,” Endar grinned.

“Hmm, I believe it might just be Arilla.”

“Well, Arilla, it’s great to finally put a name to the face I’ve seen on a regular basis for two years. It’s funny, but I did once think you were stalking me with how much I saw you.”

“Likewise.”

Freedom

“Turn around and put your hands behind your back.”

This is the last day I’ll hear these words. I get cuffed and then the cage door opens. I feel familiar hands on my shoulders, though they are lighter than normal. I’m led through the hallway I’ve walked down since 10 years ago, because they still don’t trust me – nobody does. I say goodbye to my closest friends but am only allowed to for 10 seconds each. Before I am walked into a little room, the officers behind me squeeze my shoulders extra hard, a way of showing affection. They leave and the door locks, like always.

On the table sits a cup of water and a single piece of bread, what I asked for yesterday. I take the water and stand up with it, getting accustomed to this new way of life I’ll only be living for 30 minutes. I try to enjoy this freedom, though limited. I close my eyes and try to imagine the road where my house is: the endless road where there is nothing on either side but air. I try, but I can’t forget the locked door behind me. I cry. I don’t know if they are tears of grief or tears of relief, but it doesn’t matter, because there is nothing I can do about my fate. An officer comes in and nods his head. I stand up and look down at my feet, and notice that the water I was holding is on the ground and the cup smashed in my hands. I drop the cup to the ground to accompany the water and then slide my feet to accompany the floor.

Once I pass the door frame I am back in their territory and the hand is on my shoulder. Now I don’t mind the hand on my shoulder, because I want someone to guide me and someone to help me. The hand lets go and I am in another room. There is a long rope, a stage, and two men. They motion me too come over and I do. The rope is tied around my neck as if I’m their pet and we’re just going on a walk. I look around to loosen the grip. One speaker and one camera. The camera will make sure nothing goes wrong and the speaker will prove my guilt.

Now the hands are not only on my shoulders but on my hips, and I am being slowly pushed off the stage. I’m pushed and pushed until one leg is off, then the other. I’m hanging, flying in my life and in my death. I close my eyes and think of that road, the road that I’ll return to in a few seconds. My eyes open. There is a muffling sound coming from the speaker. It then screams, “Wait, he’s innocent!” Those are the last words I hear.

One Year Later

They haven’t spoken since the unspeakable happened, and here they are again.

The one with the darker hair and luminescent hazel eyes calls first. His voice is a little gravelly, and there’s an unmistakable tightness in his throat that he tries his best not to let out. They mumble to each other awkwardly, trying to create small talk. The man with the amber eyes and reddish hair is doing alright. He’s two years into his engineering program, and he lives in the city now. He mutters a lame joke about engineers and railroads, and the man with the eyes of a pond that’s still and reflects the trees that tower above laughs. It’s a soft, lilting laugh that hasn’t changed at all, and the man with eyes of fire feels his heart twist into knots. He proposes coffee, and the man with the eyes the color of light flowing through an emerald stained glass window almost drops the phone, but agrees. They set up a time and date and hang up simultaneously. The man with the eyes of a phoenix ablaze counts down from three, just like they used to, and he can hear the smile in the man with the apple green eyes flecked with goldenrod as he whispers a goodbye. The man with the eyes of burning foliage in fall slides down against the kitchen counter and onto the cool tile floor, the groceries he was bringing in forgotten.

 ***

A day later, they meet at the arranged shop. The man with the amber eyes can’t help but marvel at how much his old… colleague has grown in the last year. His darkened hair has grown a little longer, down to his chin. He wears a bright green flannel and dark jeans. He’s filled out into the shirt, the man with the amber eyes notes.

The man with the hazel eyes is too busy studying the ground to notice his… partner standing near him. His eyes analyze the tile patterns, and to keep his mind from wandering, he tries to count the number of tiles on the floor in the room. He hears the man with the amber eyes say um, and he’s so startled that the first words he says face to face to someone for whom he once spent nights sobbing into his hands, sitting on his bed next to the bloodied bathtub of his nightmares, are the following: 

“Three hundred and eighty six.”

The man with the hazel eyes ducks his head back down, a warm rose blush spreading over his cheeks. He thinks he’s really messed it up now, mumbling an apology that was mainly composed of ums and sorrys rather than anything else. But the man with hints of muted scarlet in his eyes just lets a quiet chuckle –– more a giggle than anything else –– pulls out the metal stool and heaves himself onto the cool, shining seat. He allows his eyes to make contact with his former ally, the only person he could have ever trusted in that darkened abyss of cynical laughter and unreciprocated deals. He remembers flickering lights and desperately grasping at the man with the hazel eyes’s hand, sweaty and terrified of the occurrences outside of the closet they were concealed in.

He blinks his eyes, startled from his unpleasant reverie when the man sitting across from him says his name for what could have been the first or fiftieth time. They make eye contact, and the man with the hazel eyes allows himself a smile. He asks again, “Do you still take your coffee black?”

“I allow myself a Splenda once in awhile. Do you still hate the taste of coffee?”

“You’d think a year in medical school would have taught me something, but no.”

“Don’t tell me you got hot chocolate. Please.”

Their drinks arrive, and the man with the hazel eyes curls his fingers around the mug and draws it near. The black sharpie has his name horrifically spelled wrong, but has an unmistakable HC scrawled onto the side. He grins. “Guilty as charged. So, uh, how’s Aveline?”

“She’s doing better. In a few weeks, she’s going to college.”

“Really? Which one?”

“You wouldn’t believe me.”

“Try me.” The man with the hazel eyes lifts his steaming drink to his lips. The gentle taste of chocolate floods his mouth, and he tips his head back, savoring the flavor.

“In a few weeks, she’s flying out to Cornell.”

The man with the hazel eyes almost chokes on his drink. He leans forwards, eyes wide and an uncontrollable smile on his face. “Really?”

“Yeah. When we got the letter, she almost cried. I gave her a high five at first, being a cool older brother, but

“You started crying too.”

The man with the amber eyes points a finger gun at his companion. “Bingo.”

The man with the hazel eyes tips back in his chair, still smiling. “Aveline. Cornell. That’s incredible, Ezra. Who’d’ve thought?”

“After the… incident, Sanjay, I wasn’t sure. But she made it. She sure did.”

Ezra knew he would be the one who would bring it up. He had paced in front of his mirror, coaching himself on lines to practice, things that would pale before the elephant in the room. But the beast had reared its head and released the damn word. Incident.

Sanjay let his eyes meet the floor, partially relieved that the source of the tension had been meet, and partially terrified for the same reason. His throat tightens, phrases echoing around his brain with no route for escape. He analyzes the pattern of the tiles this time, if the mortar between forms parallel lines. He briefly considers pulling out a protractor to determine if a pair of angles is supplementary, but Ezra speaks up again, his voice soft.

“I, uh, got out of therapy a few days ago.”

Silence. A few moments of background babble fills the space that their conversation before had left vacant, but then Sanjay picks it up. “My last week’s coming up, but to be perfectly honest I doubt I’m ready for it.”

“I’ve taken up piano again. It helps in that you don’t always need to let your mind wander, ya know? Sometimes I immerse myself in a –– oh, I don’t know –– some Chopin sonata, and all I really have to think about is the progression, the dynamics, the flow. But other times, I can let my hands go across the keys and think. It’s weird. Sometimes I just stare into the hallway adjacent to the piano, and when I played in Aveline’s house, my head just drifted to where the hallway would be. There’s a sort of liberation with some pieces it’s called a rubato. Essentially, the tempo ebbs and flows, going faster at some points and slowing down at others. I just… oh, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’ve, uh, gone on for too lo

“Nonsense.” Hazel eyes become rust again. We’ve mastered the art of awkward eye contact, Ezra muses.

Awkward eye contact when they first saw each other in the coffee shop. Awkward eye contact when they first met outside the inferno, the blaze that took down the hotel single handedly. Awkward eye contact when neither of them knew how to proceed, which door to knock on first with the scent of old house lingering in the air. Awkward side eye when listening to something they realized too late they shouldn’t have, awkward eye contact when the woman who was in front of them had a breakdown, calling for someone neither of them knew but recognized from a headstone. Awkward eye contact that led to so many things –– gentle, bright laughter to stinging tears brimming in bloodshot eyes. Damp sweaty hands entwining, sprinting away from something unknown but emitting waves of terror.

 

Ezra tried to talk, but there was something stuck in his throat. Something made of angst, something birthed from trauma, something that he felt when he woke up from the nightmares and something that has shaped who he was, something that made him stand out from the person he once was.

Sanjay let his hand settle over Ezra’s. Hazel eyes met amber eyes. Eyes the color of rust, the color of dried blood, eyes that glistened with tears, eyes that had seen the unspeakable met eyes of a mix of colors, of muted green and caramel, eyes that crinkled at the sides when he smiled and eyes that couldn’t process certain stimuli but were forced to eventually.

Ezra cleared his throat. He dropped his gaze from his old friend, someone who could’ve been more than a friend, but too much had settled between them. They hadn’t spoken, and while they both regretted the radio silence, it was most likely for the best. They had too much emotion, too much raw unfiltered grief and a single day that scarred their minds forever. They had nightmare fuel to keep them in the terrors of the atmosphere, but slowly, slowly, they began to fall back down. And by now, they were halfway down to a comforting, familiar Earth.

They hadn’t spoken since the unspeakable happened, yet there they were again.

The Legendary Magician

The old woman reached for the letter opener with a bony hand. Cutting open the envelope, she found a yellowed piece of paper:

 

A long time ago, in western Europe, there lived a man, myth, and legend who was simply known as the Miracle Worker. His abilities stunned the world as he pulled off many astonishing crimes, such as a string of robberies, and somehow the assassination of the leader of an army of mercenaries. However, the man became a legend when he  stole every pound of gold from the corrupt Kingdom’s treasury and vanished without a trace. Nobody knew him, except for me, and today I will tell you this man’s story from the beginning to the end.

 

Magiano was a boy who could never keep out of trouble. He stayed alive in the once-known kingdom of Shoto by stealing food and water, and begging in the streets. Sometimes, as practice, he would steal the swords out of the sheaths of the passing soldiers in the street.

As time went on and the boy grew older, he was introduced to the world of gambling. He caught on very quickly to how the games worked and, after watching over some experienced players for some time, he worked up the confidence to try and win a game of cards using his stash of stolen money in order to bet. To further ensure his win, he had an extra set of cards hidden up his sleeve.  

As it turns out, he was naturally lucky, along with his quick hands, to pull the cards he needed. With his abilities, quick hands, and craftiness of a cheating gambler, it was no wonder he caught the eye of Sergio, an older magician who later became his mentor. The mentor believed that he had similar beginnings as Magiano, and eventually they became great friends. By age 15, Magiano began training under his new mentor, and by 16, he mastered the act of magic. At 17, Magiano performed a trick in which he levitated six audience members from the crowd onto the roof of the venue, earning him the reputation of the greatest magician of all time, to the joy of his mentor.

 

Now, I know you’re asking: how did the Miracle Worker turn from a performer to a thief, killer, and ghost? Well, you will find the answer to that question through a girl by the name of Casey. She was beautiful, with long dark hair and a smile that could evaporate the bitterness from a person’s soul.

She and Magiano met when he spotted her in a crowded square one afternoon, browsing the sweet selection of roses the vendor was selling. For the first time in his life, Magiano had experienced love. It is one of the most incredible love stories to date, in my opinion, because in order to impress her, he walked up to her with a closed palm and blew a kiss in her direction. She had a confused look until she realized that after he had blown the kiss, he opened the palm of his hand and a bright red rose emerged from seemingly nothing.

They soon continued to date each other until they were married a year later at the age of 20. We all know the feeling that comes with young love, and how it lightens the soul and brings joy to our hearts. That was what Magiano felt, but sadly fate decided strike the proverbial spear of tragedy straight through his heart.

During this time there was a rebellion raging throughout the kingdom. It was a rebellion against a violent and unfair king who had just raised taxes to half a pound of gold per person, and triggered a building tension in the working class of Shoto’s civilians. Alas, while on an outing at their favorite restaurant, Magiano and his wife were caught in the middle of the most violent protest in the history of the kingdom.

“Down with the king!” someone shouted.

Magiano turned to see the door being busted down by the broken body of a man who had been trampled under the great mass of rioters.

“R-run,” the man managed to whisper before he collapsed onto the floor of the restaurant. Magiano grabbed his wife and swiftly led her out the door by her hand.

He managed to keep himself and his wife safe from the hail of arrows and projectiles raining on the mob of people in the strangest way. Nobody knows if it was luck or magic, but every time an arrow seemed like it would kill either of them, the arrow would miss or get blown off course by the wind or some other force.

By the time Magiano and his wife reached the end of the crowd, the path which they had run through was the only spot not covered in arrows or dead bodies. They kept running until they thought they were a good distance away from the action. Thinking they were safe, Magiano relaxed and looked over to his wife just in time to see a stray arrow pierce its way through her heart. Catching her as she fell, he had no time to say any last words before realizing she was dead.

After this happened, some say that a part of him, the good part of him, died with her, and what do you get when the peaceful side is gone?

You get the boy who lost everything, you get a fighter, and, lastly, you get the dark side of the Miracle Worker.

After that day he abandoned his practice and show altogether and gave ownership to his mentor. He then disappeared, never to be seen for a few months. Some say he moved to a foreign land where his wife had been born, and others say he threw himself off a cliff overlooking the sea.

 

Yet what the public did not know was that Magiano was not one to give up. After his wife’s death, Magiano emerged as one of the greatest criminal masterminds of his time. He went back to his old ways of stealing anything he could get his hands on. However, unlike his 12-year-old self, he went beyond stealing and even became a master of murder.

It first started with a bad business deal with the leader of a notorious street gang known as the League. The gang dealt in assassinations, drug trafficking, and the forced “protection” of establishments at certain prices. During the months after his wife’s death, Magiano had gotten into making deals with this gang in order to sustain himself with proper income, and was constantly scamming them with fake drugs and other forged products.

It eventually got to the point when the leader of the gang decided he was fed up with Magiano hindering his business. He began threatening Magiano and directing his gang to harass the citizens of the Kingdom in the hopes of drawing Magiano out of the shadows.

Soon, the crime rates of Shoto were shooting through the roof, with an estimated 80 percent chance of being mugged in the streets. All this, just for Magiano to turn himself in to the gang and allow himself to be punished. Instead, two weeks after the increase in crime, the king’s police found the leader of the League lying on his living room floor, dead. On his body was a note reading, “The king claims peace yet uses this man’s gang to collect money for his ‘perfect kingdom.’”

People still say to this day that Magiano achieved the perfect murder – no evidence, no witnesses, and no sign of any sort of struggle. It was as if the gang leader had just laid down and fallen asleep. I would later ask Magiano how he did it, and he would repeat the phrase you hear most magicians say: “A good magician doesn’t reveal his secrets.”

Besides not having to deal with the gang members constantly in the streets, Magiano became somewhat of an urban hero. The public attempted to identify him by many absurd names, but eventually decided to settle on the Miracle Worker. And so, out of a violent and tragic background, the legend was born. From that day forward, more and more of the king’s corrupt supporters fell to this mysterious embodiment of death.

It was months after the day of his first murder before the Miracle Worker struck again. This time, he killed the head protector of the Kingdom’s treasury. The protector was a trusted and good friend of the king, and was mourned throughout the king’s castle after his body was found slumped over on the king’s throne with the words, “Throne of lies” written in blood across the floor. Due to this, the king decided to increase the security of his castle with the addition of more soldiers and a very experienced head guard of the soldiers watching the vault at all times. With such high security and experienced guards, the king thought no one would ever dare try to set foot in the castle, let alone steal all of the money. Despite the logic of this statement, the man had forgotten that Magiano was someone who had defied reason time and again.

This replacement occurred during the week that the king was sent a message with an open challenge from the Miracle Worker himself. The message read,

“Meet me out in the central square if you want to know what I am going to do next. Bring your guards if you want. You won’t catch me.Max.” (You may be wondering about the name change, but I will get to this later.)

The king’s face paled at this, but thankfully, nobody was around to see it. He quickly called every guard in the castle with him and set off to the square.

The king arrived at the square and looked around for a familiar face. He eventually found it when he saw the Magician appear to materialize out of the crowd and into the square.

“Oh my god,” the king whispered to himself. It can’t be, he thought.  He should be dead. There is no way a mere boy could survive on these streets.

After spending so much time on this planet, I have become very good at reading people’s emotions through their faces. In the king, I saw anger, fear, and, to my surprise, a small sign of remorse.

It was the standoff of the century: the infamous Miracle Worker standing face to face with a corrupt king and his army of guards. It was an extremely surreal encounter with both of the men staring each other down. I’m actually pretty convinced I saw tears in both of the men’s eyes, but considering their reputation, they did a good job of hiding whatever emotions wanted to escape.

However, the one thing people did notice was the slight physical similarity. Despite being much more heavyset and shorter than Magiano, the king seemed to have similarly colored eyes. This is much more of a big deal than you might think, because the king’s stood out for their rose-like tint, and Magiano’s seemed to posses that same red color. Yet, in the king’s face, I saw something thought to be impossible: guilt.

The king finally spoke. “Whoever you are, I don’t care for your reputation.” The stony-faced king continued,“You are still a criminal who has committed many crimes against me and the citizens of our nation, and for that you shall be arrested and hanged!”

People cried out and a tremor spread throughout the crowd. I was tempted to walk away as I sensed the tension spreading through the masses, but I had to make sure Magiano would be okay, even though I knew he would be. Suddenly, a voice came from underneath that dark hood, and the Miracle Worker spoke.

“And what have you done? You force people from their homes, steal their money with absurdly high taxes to fund your own personal projects, and to top it all off you work with organized crime bosses to get what you want.”

He then lifted his head so his face was visible and said, “If it were up to me and the rest of the people you rule with such an iron fist, you would have been executed for your crimes the day you clawed your way into royalty.”

Magiano spoke softly, yet his voice projected across the entire square.

“You know who I am, and you see what I have become. You created your own demons, and I am going to make sure you regret everything you have ever done. Also, thanks for the money.”

And with that, he vanished into the crowd as quickly as he appeared. The king stood puzzled, until another realization finally dawned on him.

“Hurry!” he shouted to his guards. “GET BACK TO THE TREASURY!”

As he and his royal guard retreated to the treasury, a low yet powerful noise could be heard from the mob that had been watching.

“BOOO!”

It was the start of a revolution.

 

I’m sure you have already figured out that by the time that the guards managed to get back to the unprotected vault, every single ounce of gold was gone. In its place was another note. The message on it read,

I will never forgive you for what you have done, and now I have been given the revenge I have waited so long for. I will not kill you, I will no longer bother you, but I’m afraid you have literally just paid for all the pain you have caused me.

Signed, the Royal Prince

 

That was the last the public saw of the Miracle Worker, but not me. He came to me the night after the great heist for a last talk together before he disappeared for the last time.

I had just finished leading some soldiers away who were hunting for Magiano when he came to see me. I heard my back window open and there he was, still in his magician’s costume with a black hood and cape.

“You’ve been causing some trouble,” I said casually.

“Thought you were done with those fancy disappearing acts,” he replied to me in a stoic voice.

“Yeah, well, I had to make an exception for that man. We both know that he is one politically corrupt animal.”

We then sat down and I began my last conversation with my old friend.

It’s almost as if he was making some sort of confession to me. He told me about how he was so torn apart by the death of his wife, and that key motivating reason for him to go after the king. As he spoke of this, I noticed how the emotionless shield which he usually wore began to fade as he discussed the past events. As he began to speak of his murder of the gang leader, I had to stop him and mention how the way he pulled off those tricks was incredible, even to me, so I asked him.

“So, my boy, how did you pull it off? How did you steal all that gold? In such a short time as well!”

Once again, with a devious smile on his face, he replied with a familiar phrase,

“I’m a good magician, and good magicians never reveal their secrets.”

As he was about to stand up to leave, I had to ask him one more thing. “I noticed the king’s reaction when he saw you.”

Magiano’s hands that were usually steady had begun tapping a fast rhythm on the table beside him.

“It was almost as if he were seeing a ghost!”

I then took a deep breath and stated the last fact which I was sure connected Magiano to the king, “You also have those same, distinct, red eyes.”

After looking at the floor for what seemed like an eternity, Magiano finally whispered, “Yes, you would be correct to assume he is my father.”

“Then why are you not the prince?” I exclaimed.

I would have jumped out of my seat as I said this, but my age prevented any sort of sudden movements. “This whole damn country would have been in much better hands with someone like you in control!”

He once again looked down to the floor. “I was good. Too good for my own sake, I guess,” he said, taking his hands away from the table.

“I had been stealing things practically since I was able to walk. Then came the day when I thought I would be able to get away with stealing one of my father’s personal robes for a homeless man I had spotted outside the castle. As you can expect…” He sighed. “I was caught and swiftly brought to my father, and we all know his attitude toward the people.

“Well, to him, I guess I wasn’t any different, and I was banned from the castle.”

Magiano then closed his eyes, and, with a broken voice, said, “I remember he last said to me, ‘You like homeless men, boy? Then why don’t you become one!’ and with that, he threw me out.” Opening his eyes he continued, “After that, I decided I couldn’t bear to keep the name Max which he had given to me, so I went by Magiano instead.”

I sat there with a grave face, one of sympathy and understanding. We were both silent for a while until he stood up at last and whispered, “Goodbye, my friend.”

With that he, he glided across the room and slid out the back window without a trace. I got up and prepared to go back to my bedroom until I noticed something on the carpet, in the spot that Magiano had been hanging his head. There was a single tear stain, one of satisfaction and grim revenge. When I saw that, tears welled up in my eyes and I cried the hardest I had ever cried in my 87 years on this planet.

I’m not going to lie, it took me a very long time to get over Magiano’s disappearance. I knew the boy would be something special, yet he was a candle meant to burn brightly, but shortly. I know you have experienced enough sadness in your own lives, so I will spare you from the burden of my own.  

Allow me to explain what happened after Magiano’s disappearance. Soon after the loss of the nation’s treasury, the king eventually went bankrupt and was overthrown. During the debates about how to run the kingdom, a single cloaked figure apparently ushered one of the political heads into a room to have a private discussion. It was after this discussion with the mysterious figure that he suggested the country be run as a democratic republic.

Now, enough about the old news. Let’s get to the point of why I wrote this letter. You may be asking what happened to the money he stole from the king. Well I’ll tell you, he left half of it for me first of all. At least he still cared about an old man such as myself, who was practically a father to the boy. However, he has left the other half for you. Go to his wife’s tomb and dig under the tree next to her gravestone. There you will find Magiano’s last wishes along with the gold which he left for you. Magiano and I send our regards.

 

To: The Family of Casey

Signed, Sergio (Mentor of the Miracle Worker)

Brighter

A month before I moved, someone I used to like told me that I was blocking the world out. He said that at this point the world could end and I’d be so manic with the need to block it out that I wouldn’t even register it. He said that he was worried about me and that I shouldn’t go away on my own because he didn’t know how far my obsession with pretending that it’s all okay would go.

But that doesn’t really matter anyway.

Right now, I’d say I’m going through the best period of my life. What I’d have to say I’m happiest about is that things aren’t how they used to be anymore. The place I am in my life right now… it’s like utopia. Both metaphorically and literally, that is. Everything’s been going uphill for almost a year now. I moved a few months ago, from the cramped city where I’d been raised to a town I’d never heard of, a few hours’ drive over. I’d say that helped a lot. Maybe I needed a change of scenery.

But what really changed my mood was not letting things get to me anymore. I guess I’d just had enough, and that’s what my friends told me to do, at first. And that really made everything so much better. After about a month I’d done it so much that it became automatic. People started saying that I was blocking too much out, but I didn’t let that bother me. I stopped talking to people who were bringing me down. I realized there were a lot of things that I hadn’t noticed were making me feel worse – there’s a lot I don’t do anymore. But I’ll be alright. I’m doing it for my own good, after all.

There’s not much I miss about my “old life.” I don’t like to think about it, really, because I have trouble thinking about the good things without connecting them to the bad. So I try to move on with all of it. I wouldn’t want to remember things that make me feel badly, anyway.

I realize I’ve been lying in the same place for nearly an hour. I didn’t get all that much sleep last night – I had a nightmare. Every now and then images and words and pictures all flood into my head during a dream, snippets where I’m fighting with a friend I’d stopped talking to before I moved, or where I accidentally step on my computer and break it into two. I don’t know why it happens, but it unsettles me every time. Last night was one of the worst I can remember. Everything was on fire and there was so much screaming. I woke up terrified and oddly warm, like I’d gone to sleep in a jacket. I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning.

I stretch and stand up. I’m not sure what time it is but based off of the yellow glow coming through the windows, I’d say it’s late morning. It’s brighter than most days, though. I can’t help but wonder why that is.

I change and go into the kitchen, but I don’t grab anything to eat. I think I’d rather walk down to the coffee shop and get a pastry or something there. The walk’s short, only about five minutes, so I put on shoes and head to the door. I almost reach for a jacket, but stop when I remember how hot it is outside. It would just make me look ridiculous.

I open the door.

It feels like all the energy’s been sapped from me the second I can see outside. I don’t have any idea why, but I crumple to the ground – the only thing stopping me from entirely falling is my grip on the doorknob. I get up immediately, confused. Why had I fallen? I regain strength in my limbs and shut the door behind me. It’s probably just how tired I am, considering how little sleep I got last night. Maybe I need that coffee more than I thought.

As I walk I can’t help but think back to how many things I’ve done to stop dreams like these from coming. They’re the only things that block the path to me finally being happy and I can’t stand it. Every night that I look out my window and see the stars in the sky and the shiny skyscrapers on the horizon and finally think to myself that everything is alright, I wake up at 3:00 with my heart pounding in my throat.

I clench my fist, then unclench it. One day the dreams’ll stop. They have to. I’ll forget all about my old life and about when things weren’t the way there are now and when that’s out of my head, the dreams will be too. Maybe then I’ll be happy.

I look up into the sky as I walk. The sun is hovering on the outer edge of my vision, and I’m reminded of how much that used to annoy me. I used to look up into the sky and see fire. Now all I see is sunshine.

I pass by rows of apartment buildings. Today they look… shinier than usual. I’d describe it like plastic. I don’t pay much attention to it, of course. It would just bother me all day. What I don’t want to do is let the post-nightmare days trip up my mood. Those can be the days where I forget to keep a handle on my emotions. Days when I look at things and worry that they’re not the same as they were when I last saw them. Shoes that I’d remembered being in perfect condition suddenly muddy and worn, two emails I’d never seen before that the computer marked as “read.” They’re always the worst days, a confusing jumble of anxiety and uneasiness.

I notice someone sitting on the steps to a building, but they just look through me. I’m not surprised, but not bothered either. Of course people don’t know me very well. I don’t go out very often, and when I do, I’m not usually one for starting up conversations. People are always so insistent to talk about unhappy things. I can’t imagine that talking to people would make you feel much better about anything.

Nothing that a friend has ever said me has ever made anything better.

I’ve still never been able to get those words out of my head – that I’m blocking the world out. Somehow the three sentences he managed to get out before I walked out of the room have bothered me more than anything else. It plays on an infinite loop in the background of my nightmares. It’s mixed in with the crackling of the fire and the sounds of buildings collapsing, quiet, but enough to drive me insane on its own.

I reach the coffee shop and my train of thought is broken. I still can’t help but notice the shininess of the perfect-looking world I’m in. Everything is a little bit blurry, a little bit off-looking. I have difficulty focusing on anyone’s face. It makes me wonder if I need glasses, or if I’m bleary-eyed from lack of sleep.

No one looks like they’re at all affected by today’s heat. Most are even wearing light jackets… which would usually be totally appropriate for fall, but on a day like this it just surprises me. Am I getting a fever or something? Usually fevers don’t feel like this, but it’s the only explanation I can think of.

Everything feels wrong. I don’t know how to explain.

I’m walking towards the shop when I trip on something. I land flat on what feels like a sharp rock, and pain shoots through my face. I don’t feel any blood when I reach up to touch it, but it’s clearly a pretty bad wound. Strange, this is the first injury I can remember getting in months.

I slowly stand up, in pain. When I look down I become a bit nauseated for a second. I blink and I think I see what looks like a gigantic, jagged piece of rubble, but when I blink again it’s gone and all there is, is flat sidewalk. No one seems to have noticed my fall, either.

I start to wonder if I’m going crazy. It’s somehow a worse fear than anything I could’ve imagined a few minutes ago. I think that maybe my friend was right. Maybe I’m in that place he worried I’d go.

I get up and immediately trip on something I can’t see again.

I lie there in place for minutes on end with my eyes closed, trying to tell myself that everything is okay. But this is the first time that I can’t get it to sink in. Something just feels so awfully, awfully wrong and I can’t put my finger on it. I feel like I’m on fire and the air smells like chemicals and the clouds are the color of ash. But of course every time I open my eyes I see this disgusting bright blue color above me and I’m breathing in fresh air that makes me want to vomit.

And then, after what I’m convinced was an eternity, I open my eyes and see something else.

The first thing I notice is the sky. It’s orange smeared with blood, far too bright and far too cheerful, like the color you’d see if you took a first step into hell. I can’t look at it without my eyes feeling like they’ve been doused in gasoline and lit with a match. The sun is radioactive yellow. The air smells toxic and the inside of my mouth tastes like acid.

The second thing I notice is the fallen, crumbling buildings. Most of them are still on fire. There’s a burning piece of wood only a few feet away from me. There isn’t a single living person in my vicinity. Emphasis on “living.”

I guess all the smoke is why I’ve been so hot today.

I stand up again. I can see the rubble I hit my head on. I can’t tell if it’s the remains of the coffee shop or of a building that used to surround it. I take this all in slowly. I reach my hand, already black with ash, up to touch the spot of my face where I’d fallen and when I look at my fingers they’re dripping with blood. The gash reaches from immediately under my left eye to the front of my chin. The vision there is flickering and painted red.

I sink to my knees and the sidewalk is burning.

A month before I moved, someone I used to like told me that I was blocking the world out. He said that at this point the world could end and I’d be so manic with the need to block it out that I wouldn’t even register it. He said that he was worried about me and that I shouldn’t go away on my own because he didn’t know how far my obsession with pretending that it’s all okay would go.

I always thought he’d been exaggerating.

The Paradox

Jason woke up to the sounds of families shouting and running. He sat up groggily on a pile of blankets that he had stolen and glanced over to see what everyone was so excited about.

He saw groups of families rushing past, not noticing Jason in the alleyway. While looking at the families, a big poster caught his eye. It said, “Come see time machine at the Invention and Technology Convention.”

Jason suddenly had a wild idea. Maybe he could go back in time to prevent his parents’ death. Jason doubted it, but he would do anything to get his parents back. He would never forget five years ago when he was seven years old and their car crashed and how he was the only survivor… He quickly tried to think about something else. Thinking about their loss wouldn’t bring them back.

He walked over to the poster and checked the address. The convention was taking place at 123 Street St. It wasn’t too far from where he used to live while his parents were alive.  In the five years since their death, he had been living in the alleyway begging for money and food. At times he was very hungry and at other times he was thirsty, but he pulled through. He winced at the memory like it was a knife, but that gave him more determination to bring his parents back.

He ran toward the convention as fast as his legs could carry him. When he arrived he bent over and tried to catch his breath. He walked into the gates of the convention where he was stopped by an admission booth. Since he had no money he tried sneaking around, but there were guards around the convention that would catch him. Then he devised a simple plan that would draw the guard’s attention to something else. He took a match and lit it. After that he threw the match at the greenery around the convention. All the guards went to put out the fire, so he climbed over the fence without being noticed.

While he walked around trying to find the time machine a lot of people were giving him strange looks. They were probably wondering why he was dressed in torn muddy clothing. He ignored them and kept looking. He marveled at the different inventions the people made. He saw hover boots to flying boats. Eventually Jason got lost, so he asked one of the inventors where to find the time machine. The inventor gave him strange looks, but he told Jason the directions.

When he got there he could see the time machine propped up on the stage and the inventor Bob Jones talking about it.

“Okay, so the time machine is a delicate piece of work. It can travel through time, but if you’re not careful it could also tear a hole in fabric of space,” Bob lectured. “And at times you could even create duplicates of yourself.”

Jason ignored the lecture and snuck over to behind the stage (where he could see a bunch of guards trying to put out the fire) and lunged forward towards the time machine.  It looked like a tall metal box with various assorted wires and things Jason couldn’t identify. Bob tried blocking him, but adrenaline boosted him and he ran into the time machine and desperately pushed random colorful buttons.

The machine door closed and he saw a flashing red light appear. He heard Bob pounding on the door and shouting,“Wait! That’s a delicate machine you could destroy the world…”

Then Jason and the machine disappeared. He felt like he’d been put in a washing machine in a blender. He sat down trying to feel less dizzy. When Jason felt better he looked around the time machine.

It was cramped and the size of a phone booth. There was a panel with an assortment of unlabeled buttons and levers. On another side of the wall there was a screen where you could enter the date you would like to go to. Jason decided to look outside the time machine. He saw a forest near a mountain with a cave in it. He also saw various different dinosaurs. He stepped back inside the time machine and tried to get back to the present, but then he realized why he had stolen the time machine, so instead he entered in the date when his parents died on the panel and the machine disappeared.

He appeared at the yard of his old house and saw his parents getting in their car with young Jason following behind them. He hid the time machine and followed them. He suddenly remembered that they were taking young Jason to a hockey game. He used to love hockey when he was little. Jason tried to think of ideas on how to stop him but couldn’t think of any. He thought about popping the tire, but he couldn’t think of anyways to do it. He decided to go back to the garage and find something sharp. He tried getting in, but the door was locked. He tried to remember where his parents kept the spare keys, but he only remembered the keys were hidden somewhere on the yard. Jason paced around the neighborhood trying to think of ways to get in.

He finally decided to just search the entire yard. He first checked in the bushes. He crouched down and crawled around the bushes examining where the key might be. After a long time he went over to the trees and he climbed up to the low branches to maybe find a key resting on one of the branches, but he didn’t find anything. Jason eventually got so frustrated that he kicked a rock only to find the key under the rock. He picked it up and brushed away the dirt. He walked over the door and inserted the key and twisted. The door unlocked with a satisfying click.

He stepped inside cautiously and once he knew no one was home he walked over to the garage and saw multiple items that could be used to pop tires and grabbed a branch cutter. He strolled out the front door, locked it and put it back where it was. Then walked to the time machine (with the branch cutters) and entered the time before they left on the panel and disappeared.

He appeared at the same spot and peeked around the tree to make sure they hadn’t left the house yet and then he went to pop the tires.

Suddenly the garage door opened Jason’s dad stepped outside and yelled, “HEY YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT’S MY CAR AND BRANCH CUTTER!!! GET OUT NOW!!!

Jason quickly fled to the end of the streets when another time machine appeared. Bob Jones stepped out of it and glared down at Jason. “Heh heh heh. What do we have here?” he said.

Jason looked for an escape and saw only one, the time machine. He tried diving into the time machine, but Bob blocked the door.

“Not this time,” Bob said. “Now tell me why are you here?”

Jason thought of lying, but decided against it. “I’m here because my parents died and I want to resurrect them.”

Bob’s expression softened and he said, “Nothing you can do about it. It’s best to keep things the way they are.”

Jason thought about what he said and decided if they were alive, reality would change, but for the better or worse. He decided that it would be worth the trouble. He ran towards his parents’ house to his time machine.

He stepped in the time machine and traveled to before Bob came. He walked to the car and let them go, then followed them. He glanced behind him hoping Bob wouldn’t follow him and saw himself talking to Bob. He decided not to waste any time talking with Jason or have the chance of being captured by Bob, so he continued following them. Thankfully there was lots of traffic that slowed them down so Jason could keep up.

Then he walked over to the car and stared at them. He looked at his parents’ distinct yet familiar features. His mom’s brown hair and white smile and his dad’s warm brown eyes seemed to fill him with joy. His mom was stroking young Jason’s hair and laughing.

Jason paused and then said to his parents, “Don’t go, I’m Jason from the future and you’re going to die. I’m here to prevent your deaths.”

Jason’s dad stared at him and said, “Wait. You’re the person who tried popping my tires.”

Before he could finish his sentence the car behind them honked because they had been holding up traffic so they rolled up the window and drove away. Jason watched them as they went in a hurry and crashed into the car in front of them.

Jason sagged his shoulders in defeat realizing that if he hadn’t talked to them they wouldn’t have been in such a hurry and wouldn’t have crashed. He plopped down on the sidewalk and mourned for their loss. He looked over to the crash and found hope. He walked towards the time machine and closed its door. He sat down trying to think of ideas, but all that came to his mind was that he caused their death. Jason decided to go back without a plan, hoping maybe a plan would enter his mind. He set the date on a panel and teleported back in time.

He stepped out of the time machine and saw himself running towards the car. Jason (#2) gave a surprised look, then realized it was him from the future or past.

He sprinted over to Jason #2 and said, “Wait, don’t go. Mom and Dad will die if you do this.”  

Jason #2 gave a skeptical look and reluctantly said, “Okay, what do we do?”

“Just wait here.”

Jason #1 and 2 waited and watched the car go. The car went forward and suddenly a newspaper got caught by the wind and splattered against the windshield. The car flapped its windshield wiper trying to remove the newspaper and crashed forward.

“Well your plan didn’t work,” said Jason #2.

“We’ll have to try something different then.”

“Let’s go back to my time machine and try again.”

Both Jasons squeezed into the tight space and teleported backwards. They stumbled out of the machine and went to stop Jason #2 (of the past).

“Don’t go,” said the future Jasons in harmony. Then a time machine appeared and another Jason #1 went to stop Jason #2 (as shown above), but froze in his tracks. All Jasons looked around in confusion.

One of Jasons said, “Why are there so many Jasons?”

“I don’t know,” replied another Jason.

“Let’s just prevent the death,” said another Jason.

All Jasons agreed and went over to the car.

“So the car crashed because a newspaper flew into the windshield,” explained Jason. “So what we have to do is stop the newspaper.”

The Jasons looked around for the source of the newspaper, but couldn’t find anything. Then one of Jasons spotted a man on a bench nearby throwing the newspaper in the recycling bin. The wind picked it up and it splattered against the car. All four Jasons groaned and went back into their time machines to fix it. They appeared and rushed to four confused-looking Jasons.

“No time to explain, just try to stop any newspapers from going towards the car,” said one Jason.

All eight Jasons went the where the man was sitting and waited for the man to throw the newspaper. When he threw it all eight Jasons rushed forward to stop it. One Jason caught it and triumphantly yelled. The car moved forward without any trouble and made its way to the hockey stadium.

“Okay, so now that we fixed it… which Jason is going to the present?”

All Jasons debated about it, but couldn’t find an answer. One Jason decided on a competition on who can run to the time machine. All Jasons agreed. They lined up and faced the time machine.

“3, 2, 1… GO!”

All Jasons sprinted to the time machine, but since they were all the same person they were evenly matched. They then argued even more who should go. Eventually after lots of arguing one Jason had an absolutely brilliant idea. He said that they should spin a bottle and whoever it points to gets to go. They circled around a bottle and spun it. The bottle slowed until it landed on a Jason. The Jason who got picked cheered in excitement. All other Jasons gave disappointed looks while the one other Jason stepped towards the time machine.

“Wait, I’m the original Jason,” said the original Jason. “I should go back to the present.”

“Then prove it,” replied the Jason that was going to the present.

“Well… I have more memories than all of you.”

“Prove it,” replied the other Jason.

“Every Sunday my dad used to take my to the Baxter Park to play hockey.”

“How do we know you’re not lying?”

“Umm… because… uhh… it’s… true?”

The other Jason rolled his eyes and strutted towards the time machine. Suddenly the original Jason pushed the other Jason and ran into the time machine and quickly returned to the present. Maybe my parents won’t be what I want them to be, thought Jason.

He appeared in the alleyway passing a sign for the convention and sprinted to his house forgetting the time machine. He slowed down at the sight of his house. An image of the house before he changed reality appeared in his mind. There was an old house with broken windows and paint chipped away in some spots. Now the house had clean windows and what looked like new paint.

Through the window he saw his parents making dinner. His mom laughed at something his dad said as she inserted a platter of spaghetti into the oven, Jason’s favorite food. He cried at the sight of them. He wiped away the tears and walked to the house. When he reached the door, it opened, revealing his parents.

“Where were you?” they asked. “And why are your clothes muddy?”

“I was playing hockey with my friends and tripped and fell in the mud,” lied Jason.

“Well, happy to see that you’re back home,” his mom said.

Jason smiled and hugged her. “Happy to see you too.”

The grass grew slowly here

The grass grew slowly here, popping out of the ground already browned from the heat of the sun. There were fields of dry land everywhere you looked, lining every dirt road you could rumble over in your pickup truck, framing every run down house for miles, and crawling over the endless abandoned farm land. But the one place you could bank on never seeing a stray sprout of anything but perfection was the high school football field. It had taken them years to build the stadium, agonizing over each row of the stainless steel bleachers and each speck of turf that took its place on the floor. It was ironic really, considering the fact that the pure purpose of the field was to be abused by aggressive teenage boys. That was the dream though, to be one of those bodies filling the sweat covered and dirt stained nylon uniforms. And the children of the static town were never allowed to forget it.

 

From a young age, the dream was planted in their minds after being packed into the bed of the family pick up truck, full of blankets and barbeque for the tailgate, as they winded down the dirt roads towards the stadium. And upon arrival they would scramble out, knocking over endless condiments in the process, as their dirt coated bare feet padded over the dried grass. There were over a hundred of them, it seemed as all the little boys formed their own premature game of football to pass the time before the real fun started. You could see it in their eyes; the aching hunger to follow in the footsteps of their older brothers, cousins, fathers, and even grandfather’s. With each pass that flew from the spindly fingers of the chosen pseudo quarterback for that day, the children fell into step with the rest of the town. Building themselves around something that was for sure to never fall, or so they thought. As the adults gathered around the growing peewee game, their faces contorted into eyebrow raises while they shared knowing glances, whispering and pointing. Already, these boys had no chance. No chance to escape the future that had been laid out for them, the one in which they were forced to carry on the legacy of the otherwise good-for-nothing town.

 

And slowly, the large crowd dwindled down to a couple of stragglers and empty beer cans strewn around the pick up trucks that were parked scattering the field. That was when the roar of the crowd began, and really it wasn’t even a crowd; it was the town, the entire *** town. All the stores and restaurants boarded up reading, “gone to game,” in red block letters, just as if you squinted hard enough you could see a dust bunny make its way down the main boulevard.

 

It wasn’t much of a town to begin with, but on Friday nights, there was no town besides the football field. The only witness to the blinding lights and the enormous roars of the crowd was the darkening sky that twinkled above the town that some would call blessed.

 

Short Story Part 2

Henry had been living at Nicole’s house ever since the incident. Now every time Nicole or anyone else looked at him, all Henry saw was pity in their eyes. Henry’s mother was dead and his father was in jail for committing the crime. If Nicole’s parents had not volunteered to take him in, Henry wouldn’t have been lucky enough to live with Nicole. He would would have been sent to the foster care system. It had been hard for Henry, being only 10 years old. This was the most traumatizing thing that had ever happened to him. To say the least, Henry had not handled it well. He had not gone to school since the incident. He spent most of his time just laying in his bed, staring at the only possession of his father’s that he had kept, his camo hunting knife. Henry had become dangerously thin and Nicole and her parents were worried about him.

It was now spring in Norway and the snow was gone. Nicole and all the other kids would play outside for hours on end, not that it made a difference to Henry. He just stayed inside, laying on his bed. One day Nicole decided to visit Henry while he was moping in his room.

“Hey Henry, how are you doing?” Nicole asked. There was no response from Henry.

“Henry, you can’t be like this! Do you expect us to continue to nurture and take care of you for the rest of your life? You may want to throw your life away, but by doing so, you’re dragging me and my family with you!” Nicole screamed at Henry.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that,” Henry responded softly as a few tears rolled down his cheek.

“Hey, I have an idea. Let’s go visit your dad. Maybe seeing him will help sort out some of the things that are going on in your life,” Nicole said as she ran to her parents.

Within ten minutes, Henry, Nicole, and Nicole’s parents were in the car on the way to the local jail. During the twenty minute car ride, Nicole’s parents tried, in vain, to make some small talk. First they asked how their day had been, but after there was no response, they decided to just continue the car ride in silence. At one point in the car ride, Nicole had looked over at Henry and had seen not worry but fear in his eyes. She did not have a possible explanation for this.

Once Henry, Nicole, and Nicole’s parents arrived at the jail, they were greeted by a policeman who said that he had been wondering if they were going to show up. He guided them inside the jail and into one of the many hallways. As soon as the officer, who they now knew as Officer Pete, opened a second door, they heard immediate moans.

“It wasn’t me, I was framed!”

“That is your father,” Officer Pete said. “I’m almost tempted to believe him, but the evidence is stacked against him. No one could have been this persistent on framing him.”

‘Well, unless someone had a very good reason,” Henry said, practically whispering to himself.

“Did you say something, kid?” Officer Pete asked.

“Oh no, I didn’t say anything,” Henry responded quickly.

After about fifteen minutes of talking to Henry’s father, Henry and Nicole’s family returned to their car and began the trip back to their home. Halfway through the ride, Nicole’s father looked back at Henry and said, “You look much better, Henry. I hope this trip helped sort things out for you.”

It was true, Henry did look better, but not because he had sorted things out. It was because he had made a decision. Late that night Nicole’s family all heard sobs coming from Henry’s room until midnight. The family assumed that Henry had just fallen asleep, but sadly that was not the case.

The police came to Nicole’s house as soon as her parents called telling the officers about how they found Henry dead, soaked in blood, with his father’s camo hunting knife sticking out of his chest. There was also a note and it read,

 

Dear everyone who has cared for me,

I am truly sorry for what I have done. I am the one who killed my mother. It was in a stupid argument and I regretted it as soon as I did it. My father is innocent and I beg that you release him because he is an innocent man. I felt the need to punish myself and that is the only reason I am not telling you this myself. Once again I apologize, but I do not ask for my forgiveness. I ask only  that my father be freed.

Sincerely,

Henry

The End

Supernovas

I never should have been in a courtroom. Not without him.

 

“If you could be a kid again, would you, Steph?” Justin was lying on his back, making “snow” angels in the comforter of the half-broken hotel bed. We were both high.

 

“Miss Rose? Are you paying attention?” the judge taps his microphone, and the heavy silence of the room is interrupted by the methodic click of nail on metal. I gulp, nodding quickly and brushing a lock of curly hair behind my ear. “Good,” he continues. “We’ll proceed, then.”

 

“That’s a weird question, Justin,” I said. I crawled off of the armchair I was perched on, making my way to Justin’s side. When I reached him I put my head on his shoulder, leaning against him until my nose touched his neck. His skin was smooth. Like silk.

 

I nod again, glance around the room. There’s the jury on the right – a collection of fifteen or so middle aged men and women clad in professional attire, attempting to look poised, though god knows they’d rather be anywhere else in the world right now. I make eye contact with a girl in a black dress, seated in the front row. She gives me a curt nod, then goes back to staring at her fingers and all the different ways they can intertwine. For a brief second I wish I was her — bored, detached, calm. Instead, I’m falling to pieces.

Beside me is my lawyer, a shadow of a man with a hooked nose and beady eyes — birdlike. He told me earlier to say my lines like we rehearsed them; without a tremor in my voice. Without letting on. I don’t know if I can do that.

 

“I would. Want to be a kid again, I mean,” Justin said, eyes trained on the ceiling.

“With or without your broken childhood?” I smiled slyly.

“Fuck off, Steph,” Justin said, rolling his eyes. His tone was sharp, though his words should have been playful. I winced. “It’s your turn.”

 

“You are here under accusation of the murder of Justin Moore on February twenty-ninth at roughly 3 A.M. Is this correct?”

“Yes,” I whisper, staring at my dirty sneakers, not daring to make eye contact.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes,” I repeat, louder. “Yes, but I didn’t — ” the judge cuts me off with a wave of his hand.

“Not quite yet, Miss Rose.”

 

“It’s a stupid question,” I said, ignoring his demeanor and returning to our banter. The ceiling is supposed to be white, I thought, but it’s covered with years of water stains and other patches of color that I don’t want to know about. Now it’s closer to grey. Maybe one day it’ll be black.

“Why is it a stupid question?” Justin moved a few inches away from me as we lay there on our backs, the comforter wrinkling between us, forming little hills with roads and moats and castles.

“Because I already had my childhood and you already had yours,” I said. Justin rolled his eyes. It was always that way — Justin was eccentric. A dreamer. I had to reel him in, and then I was the bad one.

“I wish I didn’t. It screwed everything up.”

 

“Our first witness,” the prosecutor begins, motioning for someone to rise. A state-appointed lawyer, he’s not much better than mine. Behind me a small hispanic woman stands from her seat on the edge of a bench. She walks to the podium, swaying as if a gentle breeze would knock her over. I cast my eyes to the floor again, not wanting to look at her face.

“Miss Ramirez,” the prosecutor begins. “You were the housekeeper assigned to the hotel room under a pseudonym by Miss Rose.”

“Yes,” she says curtly, nodding quickly. “Noisy. Very loud.”

“Could you identify the source of the noise?” the prosecutor tilts his head, contemplating. I try to see into him — who is he, besides the only person, aside from me, that cares about Justin’s life? — until Miss Ramirez speaks again.

“Screaming.”

 

We went on like that, talking about our pasts for a while, reminiscing in the hazy glow that came with old memories and moments we had tried so hard to forget. I decided I wanted another hit, and got the coke from my bag. I felt a rush at the sight of that white powder, and my fingers shook as I pushed it into a line and snorted. I could feel Justin staring at me — he wanted more, too.

“You already had your share,” I said, turning my back to him and preparing another line. He didn’t like that.

“I paid for half that shit!”

I sighed. “You paid for a third. You already had a third. The rest is mine.”

Then the shouting began. I wouldn’t have called it screaming, but to Miss Ramirez, we were two crazy addicts fighting over a bag of shitty coke. To her, and to the world, we were worthless.

But to us we were the height of passion. We called ourselves Bonnie and Clyde. We had escaped our pasts — Justin’s drunken father, my cracked family — and ran away. We didn’t let each other look back.

 

I miss him. God, do I miss him. Tears froth at the corners of my eyes. It was never meant to be this way. I was never meant to be without him.

“And what did you do then, Miss Ramirez?” the prosecutor asks. I squint, trying to focus, but everything is swimming from the tears and the quick thump-thump-thump of my heart. I’ve been like this since that night — confused, like I’m half-drowning, half-flying, like the hardest thing in the world is to stay in the here and now.

“Knocked on the door. Then they went quiet, but I could hear them whispering. There were other noises, too. Like they were throwing things.”

 

“Someone just knocked on the door,” Justin stared at me with wide eyes. His whole body was quivering, vibrating up and down and up and down. I could feel my bones shaking beneath my skin, and my thoughts were speeding up, as if someone had slammed on the accelerator. Now I could hear it — a steady thrum against the wooden paneling of the door. “Jesus Christ, Steph, someone’s knocking on the door.”

I looked around the room. A bag of coke on the bed. A metal tray on the table with leftover white powder, surrounded by little mounds of mismatched pills. A stolen credit card by the lamp. A rusty knife on the dresser.

“What if it’s the police?” Justin ran his hands through his hair. He was pacing now, and I could almost see his heart beating outside of his chest. I ran over to him, grabbed his shaking hands. “I’m not going back to rehab, Steph, I’m not fucking going.”

“No. You’re not going. We stay together. Always,” I whispered, and I ran to the table, hastily picking up anything incriminating. Justin closed the blinds, out of paranoia or habit I wasn’t quite sure. He took the bag of coke from the bed and hastily snorted a line. I didn’t notice at the time. Two seconds later he dropped the bag in my hands and I shoved it into a backpack, zipped it up, and hid it behind the cracked leather of the armchair.

The knocking had stopped.

 

“What happened after that?” the prosecutor asks, clearing his throat.

Miss Ramirez blinks a few times, her eyebrows furrowing. “Well, I left.”

 

“That was your fucking fault!” Justin hissed at me, striding to my position behind the armchair. “You were reckless, shouting like that!”

His words were daggers in my back. It wasn’t usually this tumultuous; I could ignore his spitting insults if he tamed his paranoia to a manageable state of pain. Yes, we were a turbulent storm. But we always had each other to hold close when the eye drifted over us and brought a few seconds of peace.

Yet in this moment I wasn’t sure if he was on my side at all.

“Hey, Justin, calm down, sweetheart — ” I put a hand out, trying to hold his shoulder. He swatted it away, then turned his back on me. His body was vibrating, his entire being pulsing up and down, the way it always did after a hit.

I stood and narrowed my eyes. “Did you steal from my stash?”

Justin didn’t answer. He began to pace, his walk quick and uneven. “You always do this, Steph. You get us into all kinds of shit.”

“Did you steal from my stash?” I repeated, louder this time. Justin kept pacing. “Hey! Look at me!” Justin finally stopped, and when he turned his eyes were crimson, the color of sunsets and cherries and blood.

“Yeah, I had a hit, Steph. I had a fucking hit and now the goddamn police are gonna take us both away!” He motioned to the door, and in a second he was pacing again. “You and your fucking rules, your fucking shouting and nagging and bitching. You always do this!”

It was as if the breath was knocked right out of my chest. Everything was too much — his words that pierced my skin like knives, the knock on the door, his greed and cruelty and blame. I was always the pacifist. But this time I fought back.

“Oh yeah? You — you’re the screwup, Justin Moore. And you can’t talk to me like that.” I crossed my arms, attempting to look fierce, but I was shorter than him and smaller in every way. He was a pulsing collection of radioactive elements, a tornado that destroyed everything in its path. I was the waves of the sea, wise and cloudy and still. Only meant for a gentle storm.

His eyes were no longer serene, no longer the hue of my ocean. He was blue fire, razor blades, torn skin. “Fucking bitch,” he said. “Fucking good-for-nothing bitch.”

 

“Thank you,” the prosecutor says. “That will be all.” Miss Ramirez nods and goes back to her seat.

“Anything else, Mr. Simmons?” the judge asks, idly cracking his knuckles.

“Yes, sir. I would like to call upon the accused herself; Miss Rose, would you please rise?”

Suddenly everything is too bright. The lights drill into my skull, making my knees weak. I’m lightheaded, but not the good lightheaded, and I want to run. Run away, never look back, never turn to a pillar of salt or rot in a tomblike cell. But Justin isn’t here to help me.

I stand and walk to the podium. Everything is shaking – my body, my vision, the world around me. I hear Justin whispering in my ear, something about being a kid again and not wanting to go back to that past, but wanting a new one. He was always saying things like that.

“Let us restate what happened before the police arrived on the night of the 29th, shall we?” the prosecutor says, circling me like a hawk circling its half-dead prey. I nod. “You and Justin were arguing, were you not?”

“We were.”

“And why was that?” the prosecutor smiles, clearly pleased with his work.

“I don’t remember.” I don’t remember, I repeat to myself. If I say it enough maybe it’ll be true.

 

“I’m the bitch?” I asked in disbelief. I took a step toward Justin. “I’m the bitch? At least that’s better than being the product of a whore and a drunk! What does that make you?”

Justin turned away from me and began pacing the room, cracking his knuckles and rolling his neck. I could see the vein popping beneath his skin, matching his tensed muscles as every inch of him burst to the extreme.

My heart was a hammer pounding against my ribcage — so loud I was sure Justin could hear its nervous tremor. But his words were a knife held against the raw skin of my neck, pushing deeper and deeper until my windpipe was split and crimson rain leaked onto my shoes.

He’d gone too far.

“What does that make you?” I asked again. “That’s right. An unloved bastard, no better than your piece-of-shit father.”

Justin’s eyes were that of a rabid animal as he lunged for my throat.

 

“You don’t remember?” the prosecutor asks again, straightening his tie. A bead of sweat began to percolate on his temple. “Was that because you were high, Miss Rose? On cocaine?”

 

His fingers found my skin and we crashed to the floor. My head hit the hardwood with a loud thud and my breath escaped my body in a quick exhale. Justin was on top of me, legs wrapped around my torso, nails clawing at my throat as I struggled for a gulp of oxygen. Every limb felt cold and numb and detached. My vision started to fade, but Justin’s bloodshot eyes were piercing the strengthening darkness and they were feral and rampaging and hurt.

 

The lights drill into my skull. Say something, Stephanie. Speak.

“Yes.”

“You were using illegal drugs that night?” the prosecutor smiles.

“We both were,” and now I’m getting lightheaded and I find it hard to breath. My lawyer drops his head in defeat.

 

I gasped for breath, but Justin’s fingers were tightening around my windpipe. My arms were stretched out to my sides and I looked like Justin making snow angels in the comforter. I looked like I was a real angel. I looked like I was about to die.

Some instinct kicked my arms into motion and I flung them beneath Justin’s chest. Using every ounce of strength I had left, I pushed Justin up and to the side. His head smacked the ground and I scrambled to my feet, chest heaving and blood sighing as fresh air seeped into my lungs.

 

“So you testify that you were both using cocaine,” the prosecutor says. I nod. “And you were arguing. At some point during the night, Justin was killed. Could you tell us what happened, Miss Rose?”

 

My face was sticky from sweat and tears. My entire body shook.

Justin held his head in both hands as he lay on the ground, rocking back and forth. And suddenly he looked like a child, a confused and broken child. But then I remembered his sharp words and fingers like daggers against my neck, and he’s Justin again, with spiked hair and dirty skin and a crooked mouth with a razor for a tongue.

Behind me was the dresser. I backed up against it, the tail of my spine touching uneven wood. My hand grazed the surface and hit something odd; a smooth handle followed by cold metal. The rusty knife.

 

“He — he attacked me,” I start, my voice barely more than a whisper. Say the lines. Nothing more than reading from a script. “It was self-defense.”

But the prosecutor looks at me and a faint smile creeps onto his lips. He sees through my cracks, sees through my broken facade and shaking skin. Though he’s barely adequate at his job and has more nervous tics than I, he sees me, and I know I am finished.

 

Justin slowly got on his knees, then one foot was on the ground and the other was beneath him and he stood. He turned to face me, hands balled into fists. There was a trickle of blood slowly swimming down the side of his head, the same color as his eyes.

“Get away from me,” I croaked, my throat scorched. “Don’t you dare come any closer.”

Justin licked his lips, and a slow laugh emanated from the back of his throat — more choking than giggling. He took a step closer and I felt my fingers tighten around the hilt of the blade. “Or you’ll do what, Steph?” his voice was lilting up and down, robbed of all stability. “You’ll do what, huh? You can’t do anything.”

Now my hand was firmly around the handle. Justin crept closer.

“You know what, Justin?” I said, every word a struggle to get out. “You’re sick. You’re sick and miserable and hopeless,” Justin rolled his neck, preparing to lurch at me again. I gripped the knife harder. “You say I’m the bitch. I’m at fault, right?” he was four feet away, utterly wild in his manner, limping as blood percolated on his neck. He licked his lips again. My heart pounded. “You blame it all on me, don’t you?”

Justin had become another being. He was not the man I fell for, the boy I met when we were reckless and alive. He was not the soul who gave me my first hit or the child who told me about his father. He was not loving, because he was not capable of being loved.

Or maybe he was who he had always been. Maybe he was just Justin, wild and feral and childlike in his wishes. Maybe he had always been broken. Maybe I found him that way, and he tore at the seams bit by bit until tonight when he finally snapped.

 

“How can that be? The blade marks show he wasn’t charging at you, Miss Rose. You charged at him.”

 

“You can’t take back the past, Justin!” I was screaming now. I didn’t care if anyone heard. Justin clamped a hand to his ear at the sound of my shriek. “You can’t change a goddamn thing!”

“Shut the hell up, you fucking cunt!” Justin shouted, the veins on his neck popping. “Just shut up! Shut up! Shut your fucking mouth for once in your life!” Justin’s finger was pointing at my chest, his eyes scarlet and crazed.

 

“Perhaps the fight provoked you, Miss Rose. Perhaps you were sick of hearing what Justin Moore had to say. So you killed him,” the prosecutor smiles again. My gaze drops to my feet and I squeeze my eyes shut. Darkness overwhelms my vision but I’m brought no sense of calm. Justin’s words echo in my head, growing louder and louder with each passing moment.

 

Justin let his hand fall to his side, and his hair was a bird’s nest, his skin a mix of blood and tears. His eyes locked on mine and we were silent for a moment. It could have ended like that. He could have stopped talking and I could have loosened my grip on the knife and we could have gone our separate ways, both trying to forget and daring to remember. But it didn’t.

 

“Do you maintain your statement, Miss Rose? ‘Self-defense?’”

 

And then Justin opened his mouth and his tongue was a razor again. “At least I have a reason for being this way, Stephanie Rose,” his voice was low and broken, like the edges of cracked glass. “I had a drunk father and a slut for a mother who killed herself as soon as she could. But you? You’re just a girl who likes darkness,” he knew his words were slitting my skin, and he smiled. “You’re just a failure who destroyed whatever was left of me to make you feel better about your pathetic little self,” he turned away from me then, and though I couldn’t see his face I knew he was satisfied.

I wasn’t going to let him be satisfied.

In one swift motion, the knife broken through the back of his skull and found the center of his brain. He let out a soft groan and fell to the floor, head smacking wood as a pool of red surrounded him. It was over as soon as it began.

My breath came in fast heaves and there were tears in my eyes as I spoke. “You can’t take back the past, Justin. And you can’t blame it on me.”

Through the sea of adrenaline and tears I heard a sound. Sirens.

 

“Yes,” I whisper, tears now cascading down my cheeks. “Self-defense.”

Touches from heaven

One Day Until:

When I signed up for camp, I didn’t sign up for what happened.

 

The Morning Of Camp:  

I woke up in bed, knowing that this would be the last morning where I would be cushioned underneath, without a sore neck and back. I decided that I needed a good reputation for the first day, so that I could make new friends. I hunted through my closet, ripping everything off the hangers anxiously. I needed something stylish, but not too fancy. I remembered back to the last day of school, this girl named Mary had worn this amazingly cute outfit. These high pants with three buttons, with a flowy white tank top. That was what I was going to try to do.

The only high-waisted shorts I had were a tye-dye blue pair with rugged edges. It could work. In my closet I came across a white V-neck, but I couldn’t wear anything flowy, too fancy. So I slipped the shirt over my head, noticing that it would look cuter if I tucked it in.

Hmmm, shoes? What was Mary wearing again? Right, converse sneakers… I don’t have those. The floor of my closet was filled with shoes, even though I hated most of them. They were either too dirty, too weird, didn’t like them, too old, didn’t fit, too girly, too boyish, wait…

I spotted my pair of black vans, perfect!

I glanced in the mirror, turning my body to view all the angles of my outfit.

“Jamie, come on, we’ve gotta leave!” my mom called.

I closed the door behind me, taking one last look at the room that I wouldn’t see for a while. I kissed my door as a sign of goodbye, and stomped down the stairs.

 

First Day Of Camp:

Taking tiny steps, I walked into the cafeteria where all the other campers were gathered. The sun created a beam of light peeking through the window. It cast a shadow into the room, creating a vast silhouette of a guy’s figure upon the dented and washed out wooden-colored tables.

“Hello, campers!” said a tall woman, with a sweet, high voice. “You are going to have the best two weeks of your lives here!”

The woman babbled on, when suddenly the most gorgeous sight appeared, matching the shape of the shadow. I’m not talking clothes, I’m talking face, eyes, hair, body, muscles, everything about him was perfect. His eyes were a light blue, they sparkled as he continuously peered around, I could look at them all day. Dimples that seemed to be made of sunshine formed as he laughed at something the woman said. And his arms, bulges of muscles, made his shirt look tight to his skin. His fluffy hair was combed to one side, and his tan face was the most adorable part of him.

Maybe the woman was right, these were going to be the best weeks of my life.

 

Second Day Of Camp:

“Let’s get up my girlies!” a lady outside my tent hollered in all directions. The next thing I knew she was pulling my blankets roughly off me and clapping repeatedly in my face.

“Girls, line up!” the lady called again, indicating a warning to every tents’ campers.

I stepped out with a yawn and stumbled over to where a straight line of girls was forming. We skipped along a dirt trail until we arrived in front of a lake. It was a lengthy lake, and staring at the calm water peacefully flow, it seemed never ending.

The day was perfect. Fluffy clouds of dreams blended into the dark shaded sky, which had an ombre effect into light blue. It was gorgeous and sent a relaxed chill directly through my body.

“Girls,” the counselor started motioning with her hands as she spoke, “Get with a partner of your choice. Our first activity is canoeing. Don’t canoe that far though.  Remember, here at camp the climate changes unexpectedly and frequently, that is why you can’t travel far, just in case. Anyway … ”

I looked around for a partner. I hadn’t come with a friend, and it seemed as if everyone else did. If not, they had already made a new friend. I began to wander to other campsites, when I saw him. Today he looked even more beautiful than the sky. Even better, he also seemed to be looking for someone to work with.

Okay, I whispered to myself, You’ve got this. My head drifting up, I gave him a tiny wave, and a small smirk.

“Hi, um do- you- have- a partner,” I stuttered, trying to stare directly into his distracting, glowing eyes.

“Uh.” Oh my gosh, he had the voice of an angel. “Sure, I don’t have a partner,” he responded, moving closer to me.

“Yes!” I said, a little too loud, “I mean cool, haha.”

Oh my god, Jamie, you’re so weird, why’d you have to say ‘Yes,’ now he automatically thinks you’re odd.

The boy’s smile transitioned to a confused look.

“So, your name?” I asked.

“Oh, right, I’m Logan.” Uh, such a fabulous name.

“Yours?” he followed up,

“Jamie.”

“Really? That’s my girlfriend’s name!”

With that, I slumped my hands down, and scrunched my eyebrows tightly together, my smile now a frown. It was like a brick just hit my face with immense power.

Noticing my expression he now looked concerned. “You okay Jamie?”

I glared at him angrily, not blinking once. “Jamie?” he said again.

I blinked, snapping back into reality,

“Yeah I’m fine.” My words were delayed and lifeless.

He turned, now resting his hand gently on the top of my shoulder. His touch was like a pure piece of heaven. The soft feelings sent energy back into me, forming another smile. Maybe I just had to win his love?!

As I focused on the softness, perfectness, awesomeness, greatness, and everything about the feeling of him touching my bare skin below my hair, a man began to speak in a low and heavy voice, “Hello campers.”

As he spoke, my head dozed off into the ideal land…

There was a humongous castle built of gold with touches of silver rhinestones, and turquoise metallic window frames built especially for Logan and me. We spent most days in the backyard, tending the garden that contained vibrant colors of sunshine, exposing radiant light into our deepest emotions. And we walked in the park outside our home, we held hands, watching the calm river beside us soothe our inner soul just as Logan was about to kiss my lips, and I…

“Jamie.”

“JAMIE!” I felt a nudge at my side. I jumped abruptly at the touch. It was Logan.

“Didn’t you hear, we have to get life jackets on and then we have to go to our assigned canoe. Ours is number 23.” He motioned for me as he picked up a bright orange life jacket.

“Turn around,” he asked. I did as he said. I felt the padding of the jacket fit into my shape, and he fastened the buckle. “Tight enough?” he followed up.

“Perfect,” I answered, gazing into his eyes of beauty. They looked bluer than ever against the sky.

“Um, I must’ve missed it, how far do we go out?” I asked, laughing at ease.

“He said to wherever, as long as you can still see the campsite, so I guess not too far.”

“Oh.” I had imagined us in the sight of no other, as we romantically talked about life.

 

The Start: Canoe Trip

“So do you just want me to row?” he asked.

“Ah, if you want, I’m not very strong, you’re probably better, but if you want me to I can though, whatever you want is good, I don’t care, ya know whatever you want.” Omg, I sound even more weird.

“Okay, I can do it.” He began to firmly pull the paddle back, and I could see his muscles as they flexed through his shirt. He must spend hours working out for strength like that.

For a couple of seconds, silence took over, it wasn’t for that long, but it felt so much longer than it really was.

“So, this is going to get really awkward if we don’t talk,” he finally said, looking down.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “So what’s up?”

“Um, well, to get to know each other, I play soccer!” he began.

“Really, me too!” I shouted.

“So in school last year, I had this crazy teacher. She was our health teacher. Taught me nothing, everything that came out of that woman’s mouth was useless,” I said, changing the topic for some reason. I guess I felt insecure.  

“Yeah, I hate those teachers.”

I was tempted to interrupt and say that he doesn’t even understand how boring she was, but he continued, “Talking stress… my girlfriend has really been stressing me out lately.”

I was taken aback from the sudden statement.  It was like fresh air was being pumped back into weakened lungs.

“What do you mean?” I followed up, my face bringing complete brightness back into it, as I intently examined his eyes.

“She’s extremely demanding, everything I do has to be perfect,” he sighed somberly.

I expressed concern, but was unsure what to say. “Oh,” I finally blurted.

“Yeah, you’re probably bored, sorry I don’t have to talk about — ”

“No, no,” I cut him off, “It’s totally fine. I get it, sometimes you need to let people know about emotions, like you just gotta talk to somebody. I get that way all the time!” I smiled, giving him a sweet giggle.

“Exactly,” his eyes widened, “Like, I drive her to school in the morning. I told her I would be there at 7:30 and I got there at 7:32 and she cursed me out!”

“What?” I agreed.

“Right? And then because I did that she made me take her shopping and buy her whatever she wanted!” he continued, now getting angry.

“Oh my god, that’s so bad!” I hollered, backing him up, not really focused on him, but his stunning appearance.

“Yeah, and, I don’t know, it’s just annoying!”

I held my hand in front of my eyes, for the sun was cast directly into them.

I guess he noticed. “Here, switch seats with me. The sun’s in your eyes Jamie,” he offered, starting to get up.

“Oh no, that’s really sweet, but it’s okay. You’re already doing all the paddling.”

“Take my glasses at least.” He took his sunglasses off, like they do in the commercials from the designer brands. Now I could see his gleaming eyes. By the tone of his eyes, I could tell  that he wasn’t going to give up until I took them, so I slowly grabbed them and placed them gently on my face. The lingering smell of his cologne reached my nose.

“Jamie, I don’t know what to do about the other Jamie,” he kept going.

“Just break up with her,” I suggested, really hoping he liked the idea.

“I can’t. If I do, she’ll spread something about me to the entire school. No joke. She is the most popular girl and so everyone believes her or whatever. I hate it, I mean I know she will do it. It  happens every time, she’s already dated three guys this month!  Jerry, then Mark, then me. It’s not like she even likes us, she just thinks we’re handsome ‘cause she obviously doesn’t like me. I’ll try to make a joke, but she tells me I’m stupid. She only has boyfriends because she thinks it’s cool. Sorry I’m talking way too much.”

“No it’s all good, Logan,” I said, “but how come you ever asked her out?”

“I didn’t.” Now he was actually mad. “I saw her in the hall and nobody likes her but she’s ‘popular’ so everyone wants her to like them, ya know how it is with all of that?”

“Yeah,” I said, gazing into his gorgeous eyes.

“So anyway, I was in her class and she came up to me and goes ‘nice hair, dude.’ I was like ‘thanks.’  And then the next thing I knew she goes, ‘Pick me up at 8, wear something nice.’ Then she walked away. I had no clue what just happened, but I really didn’t want to go out with her, and then all my friends were like, ‘Dude, you’re crazy, it’s Jamie, the hottest girl and you don’t want to take her on a date…

‘Dude, it’s JAMIEEEE BLANKYYY! You have to go out with her. Dude, she’s hot!’ Brian had said.

‘Yeah, if you don’t go out with her, then I will,’ John had added.

‘Yeah but I don’t like her!’ I kept telling them.

‘Yo, it’s Jamie. Do you Know what She’ll do?! If ya don’t go, she’ll literally ruin your life.’

‘Well I’ll just tell her that I don’t have her address.’ They looked at me strange and I was confused so I go, ‘What?’

John and Brian exchanged looks and seemed scared for a moment.

‘Um,’ John started, ‘Well, you see, Jamie kinda made us give her your number so she’s gonna text you her address.’

‘What!’

“I was really mad and I couldn’t use that as an excuse, ‘cause then I got a text from her. Then I felt really scared if I didn’t go. You see, Jamie always had to have a boyfriend and she broke up with Mark that day, so if I didn’t go on a date with her she would kill me.”

“So did Mark break up with her?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he was like, ‘Jamie, you’re really sweet and so nice of a girl. And I really enjoy being with you but right now I don’t want to be in a relationship. Then she was like, ‘Are you breaking up with me you (beep)!’ Then she kicked him right in his, his, spot, and punched him and then on her Instagram she wrote some pretty mean things about him. He didn’t come to school for a month after and even then he had a black eye. That’s what I’m scared about!”

I stared at him for a moment, thinking about what I could say.

All I could think about was this:  

“So when I met you, and I told you my name, Jamie, you sounded … excited. But wouldn’t you be sad to hear that since it reminded you of your girlfriend?” I asked, really desperate for an answer.

He looked at me, and suddenly his face turned the color of a cherry.

“Be-cause, you- seemed really nice, and it gave me hope th-aat, mayb-ee, you could be my girlfriend,” he stuttered, now looking directly down, and stopping the rowing.

I looked at him, ”Ya know, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” I smiled. He faced his eyes up to mine now. Why can’t he be brave? Gosh!

“Look, I saw you and you’re really–” Now my face was red. “You’rereallygoodlook-in.”

He smiled. “I feel like I get that a lot.”

Wow Logan, way to make me feel special. I still liked him by his looks so I continued, “I like you.”

We both glanced at each other and didn’t know what was next. Finally he put out his hand. I lay mine on top of his.

“I-I-I likeyoutoo,” he said.

I put my hands out, giving him a hug. It didn’t seem right. I quickly stopped and got off of him.

“Wait,” I said, my eyes watery, “What about … the other Jamie?”

 

Our Truth:

“What about the other Jamie?” I repeated.

He rolled his eyes sorrowfully.

“I don’t know. Our hopes are over. I can’t be with you. I don’t even live near here.”

“Where do you live?” I asked, waiting desperately for answers.

“California.” Wow, that was far from New York. Why didn’t he tell in the beginning?

“Well, we can text can’t we?” I suggested.

“Jamie, it won’t work.” He shook his head.

“Well, why can’t we try?” I asked, wondering why he was just giving up like this.

“Jamie, just stop, it’s over. We’ll have a nice two weeks, and then we’ll be done.”

My mouth lay wide open. “Are you kidding me? You’re just gonna give up on me like that?” I was furious.

“Jamie, I do like you, but we can’t be together, it isn’t practical,” he repeated, totally not looking at me.

I was mad. I had dreamed about him. I literally was set on Logan.

“Logan, I sat here listening to your stupid stories about your girlfriend that you obviously want more than me. And now you’re just giving up on me.”

I could tell he was trying extremely hard to stay calm.  “Jamie,” he raised his voice, his eyes now staring into mine, “I like you and you are a nice girl. And you really have encouraged me to break up with — with the other Jamie. If you didn’t want to hear the stories, you could’ve stopped me. You told me to keep going. And I really do — I — do — I — I — like you, but I can’t be with you, I just can’t, you know it wouldn’t work. But I just want to let you know that you have allowed me to build up courage. When I go back to California the first thing I will do is break up with Jamie. So thank you for that.”

“Yeah, no prob.” I sarcastically smiled. “Ya know what you taught me? … That you can’t lay eyes upon someone and plan your future from there. You need to get to know them better.”

Now I looked deathly into his eyes. “And you’ve taught me that even if you like the looks of people, turns out they’re nothing like you EXPECT,” I raised my voice. “They will give up on you! That’s what I learned. So thanks soooo much for that LOGAN!”

I smacked my hand on the side of the boat.

We sat there in silence.

“I know you’re mad, but you have to get over it — ” he began.

“No, I don’t, you’re the one who needs to learn that you are so selfish and that you should care about others’ feelings. I liked you Logan, and then, then, you just — ”  

Suddenly I looked up. The water was becoming rougher, as the canoe bounced in it swiftly. I turned and saw a mountain at our side. I stared up at it, and it seemed as tall and menacing as Mount Everest.  

“Logan?”

“What?”

He moaned, facing up to the sky as the cloud rolled into a darker and more eerie gray

“Where are we?” I asked. My heart pumped faster now, and my eyes were not blinking.

The wind picked up and soon we were headed in the opposite direction. With all his strength, Logan pulled eagerly at the water, the paddle quickly moving. His face wrinkled and his eyes seemed to clench together. Suddenly — crack — the paddle snapped.

I felt a drop of liquid slide down my arm. Looking up, I now saw what was to come.

Rain fiercely trembled down, pounding harshly in the boat. I was drenched within seconds. Through all of this, I managed to stand up and firmly roar, “I wish I never met you Logan!!!”

Trying to sit back down, the wind struck me, and I smashed my head on the boat.

I collapsed.

All I remember is, “Jamie, Jamie, JAMIE!!! Are you okay? I’m sorry.”

I squinted through one eye.

“Jamie, keep your head upward.”

I weakly put my hand to my head and absorbed a wet, thick stream of blood as it continuously flowed down the side of my head. I remembered back to my crazy teacher last year. I knew that she had said something about a specific amount of blood that leads to death. With the agonizing pain, I was sure this was too much blood.

I felt a slight nudge then. “Jamie, I like you.”

It’s too late now, I thought. This is all Logan’s fault, and he knows it.

I could see a tear floating down Logan’s cheek, and his eyes full of the deepest sorrow. Finally, he feels the pain that I have dealt with this whole time.

His hand gently brushed my arm after a quiet kiss on the lips. My head soon felt no pain at all and my eyes went blank into whiteness.

When I signed up for camp, I didn’t sign up for this.

 

The Last Time it Rained

Myra

It’s been 55 years since I’ve graduated high school and moved to Paris, France. I picked up the accent, but I can still speak clear English. That was also the last day I saw my high school boyfriend. We were voted the most likely to get married in five years. That was until my mom died and my dad had to get a new job across the Atlantic. There was not a day that passed where I had not thought about him. There wasn’t Facetime or iMessage back then, so we had to write each other. Unbelieveable right! It took about a month and a couple of weeks to receive word from one another. We stopped writing about 20 years ago. I’m now 73 years old and I still think about him. I never married because I was planning to marry him. I tried to date, (obviously what kind of 19 year old wouldn’t want to date) but it didn’t work out well. After a while I gave up. I thought what was the point if nothing good was ever going to happen to me … after him.

***

Melvin

I’ve always wondered if she thinks about me, the way I think of her. It’s been way too long since I last saw her. She was my one and only love. We always wrote to each other. Then I got married, so my wife told me I had to stop. I never loved my ex-wife the way I loved her. I had my mind set on marrying her and spending the rest of our lives together. Her dad got a job working as a language teacher, so basically he taught English. The worst part about it was that his job was in Paris. She told me she was moving the day we graduated. I was mad at her for not telling me earlier. I forgave her because she was leaving soon. Instead of prom, we went back to her house and I helped her pack. Afterwards, we went to watch a film on the roof and spent the rest of the night together. I had her in my hands and cried together in the rain with her favorite umbrella, because it wasn’t until then I realized…it was over.

***

Myra

My dad died. I was expecting his death because he was very old. He wasn’t sick; he lived the most healthiest lifestyle I’d ever seen. He worked out until he couldn’t. He ate like an athlete everyday no matter what occasion or holiday. He had the healthiest and the most kindest heart ever. Every day I wake, go to work, eat lunch, and save some for my dad. That was the only thing I looked forward to. Knowing my dad was sitting there waiting for his only child to come and care for him and love him like no other. Unfortunately, I still find myself doing that. Walking the same path and saving half of my sandwich. It was a burden I couldn’t shake. No matter how hungry or tired, I always went to him.  

***

April 19th, 2015

Dear Melvin,

We haven’t talked in awhile. I don’t know if you remember me, but I hope you do. I don’t know what happened to us. We used to be in sync, and now I don’t know what to tell you. How about, I never married. And how I’ve never gotten a letter back from you. And how my dad died. And how I live by myself with two cats and a parrot. And how I still love you. And how I miss you. And how I’ve had other boyfriends. And how they never lasted longer than a couple of years. I hate to say it, but I’m old now. My life isn’t over yet, but it’s close. I hope nothing happened to you. I wouldn’t have anybody. You haven’t sent me a letter back for a while now. I just want to know how drastic our lives changed since we split up. I hope your life turned out better than mine and I hope you write back or I could see you sometime.

 

Yours truly,

Myra Hart

***

April 27th, 2015

Dear Myra,

 

I was divorced five years ago. I have three kids. All of them are grown up now, so they all left me. I stopped writing because my wife didn’t think it was right for me to be writing to my highschool girlfriend at age 70. I always wanted to write back, but I never knew what to say. But now I do. I miss you too and I still love you too. I think about you all the time too. I always thought of going to Paris to visit you, but I never knew if you wanted to see me, so I decided not to. I still want to visit. I’m retired and have no life anymore. And the remains of my life I would like to spend with you. So, i’ve decided to come and visit. If you don’t think it is a good idea please tell me and if you think it’s a great idea please tell me.

 

Yours truly,

Melvin Hunter

***

May 5th, 2015

Dear Melvin

 

I think it’s a great idea. I can’t wait.

***

Myra

My head feels heavy with all these thoughts about him. When are you coming? How long are you going to be here? Are you bringing anyone? How much luggage are you bringing? Do you have anyone to stay with, or are you going to stay with me? What part of Paris will you be in? Are you going to the Eiffel Tower? Are you going to be close — close by any restaurants? There’s a place I go everyday to get a sandwich and it’s close by the Eiffel Tower. They have Croque Monsieur and any kind of chocolate pastry. Do you still like chocolate pastries? Do you still drink your coffee with so much sugar? Do you still take those midday naps? Do you still stay up late, reading?

***

June 29th, 1960

Dear Melvin,

I remember feeling warm when we cried together in the rain. We were under my favorite umbrella. The night before I left. Last night. With your strong arms wrapped around my body. I knew once you wrapped your arms around me that we weren’t going anywhere for a while. I knew that at the moment you wouldn’t let anything happen. I felt like nothing could take me away or do me any harm. I remember the warm salty tears streaming down my face. I remember you being the brave one telling me everything was going to be okay even though we both knew it wasn’t. You wiped my tears, one by one, even though you knew more was coming. I’ve been on the plane for 3 hours so far and I’m going nuts. My dad is four rows in front of me. Next to me is this old couple. Maybe in their mid seventies. They’ve been talking ever since we got on the plane. It’s like they haven’t seen each other for years and are catching up on their lives. In front of me is a lady maybe on a business trip because she is wearing a business suit and is writing the entire time non stop and there is briefcase under her seat. I am surprised because someone that dresses like that belongs in first class.

 

Love,

Myra

***

          June 29th, 1960

Dear Myra,

I miss you already and you’ve been gone about 17 hours now. I remember the night before you left. Last night. It was our final hours actually together, just the two of us. We were on the roof together and it was raining. We were under your favorite umbrella. That was the only one you used because that was the one you and your mother used together. I wrapped my arms around you because I saw the tears forming in your eyes. I knew you were scared because we wouldn’t be able to see each other like we always did. You were scared that we would separate eventually. I wrapped my arms around you because I didn’t want anything to happen to you, I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you. That’s when I knew the crying started because your body was trembling rapidly. I felt your warm tear fall onto my arm. I wiped away the tears one by one, even though we both knew more was coming.   

 

Love,

Melvin

***

“I missed you,” he spoke when I greeted him at the airport.
“Have you seen my umbrella?”
“No, really. I’ve missed you.”
“I haven’t seen the umbrella since…”
“Since?”
“You know. The last time it rained in North Carolina.”
“Oh you remember that?”
Its was awkward for a while, then I spoke, “Well. Can we get some tea?”   

China Doll

Mother once told me a true gentleman always comforts a lady, even when breaking up. But things hadn’t gone as planned and I wouldn’t actually call Jess a lady. I will never let being the “only guy without a girl” blind my judgment again.

My feet hit the cement and cold air filled my lungs as I started to escape the double date nightmare at South Brick Pizza. Pushing the pizzeria’s door open, I could hear Jess getting out of her seat and blabbing to the hostess at the front.

“Yes let’s have a reservation for December 24, here’s my card, oh yes and it’s my birthday dinner, so let’s make it fabulous.” I had made my way down the front steps, eager to run free. Her voice made the nearest squirrel shiver as she called out, “Daniel.”

I hadn’t liked her two months ago. If I hadn’t been such a good best friend I would never had gone the first time when Ryan asked me to accompany him with his date, Fiona. “It will be fun,” he had said. Two dates, one party, and a dinner and I’m feeling stuck in my relationship with Jess, but tonight I was through taking it.

I heard the clicking of her shoes against the sidewalk. I turned my face back to the wind and saw a red-faced, blonde-haired girl, who was looking fairly angry, start to make a run from the restaurant. I took a breath and raced forward, looked left and right, and walked across the street, but the stupid honks gave my angle away. I felt in my heart she was coming close. So I jetted to the left, right behind an AT&T store and let myself think a minute. I knew this town well and if I could get to the ice cream shop which was a street and a half away, I could slip in and be safe. Hopefully.

I hadn’t heard any other indication, but the silence was too eerie to just be about nothing. So with the moonlight to guide me, I made my way down the block, blending in by keeping my back against the store’s walls. I felt my gelled hair surrender to the sweat coming from my head and a big brown wave got caught in front of my eyes. Perfect timing.

I heard a person scream, “Get out of the way!” and knew it was Jess. I raced down two stores and tried to go. Looking left, I saw an alleyway and dove towards a trash can.

“Dan,” a deceivingly sweet voice echoed. “Dan, I made the birthday reservation! I think we should wear matching outfits, got to make a good impression for my fam, don’t you think?”

She went on, “I know you’re here, so come on let’s hang out, have some fun.”

She was 100% the type of girl who has her head in the clouds, all obsessed with herself and not afraid to show it. Confidence is totally great, but she just took herself as an untouchable obsession.

I cleared my throat for lack of not knowing what to say. What was the use; she knew I was here. I felt her oversized shadow advance. “Danny, baby, let’s go back, what do you say? You come over to my house, you can even spend the night.”

I felt as if I could barf. Then another sound and some small light. I peered my head out and it was Ryan and Fiona — they had come to save me.

“Hey there.” Ryan peeked around the corner and awkwardly spoke to Jess, while holding hands with Fiona. He made eye contact with me, and I ducked my head even further.

The couple advanced into the alleyway as another one of Jess’s monologues was about to begin.

“Isn’t it so sad?” Jess dramatically turned and put a pouty face on her lips and a hand on her heart, “that Danny is so in love with me, he can’t hold himself back in front of you guys, so he felt the need to run. I am a loving person…..Am I not?” she pitifully said.

She waited for an answer, then asked again, “AM I NOT?”

With no answer she shrugged, “I am. So you see, Danny sweetheart, I love you too baby, It’s okay you don’t need to hide your true feelings, I-”

“I don’t think you are getting this right Jess,” Ryan started to say, then Fiona took over. “Jess, I think you should give Danny some space.”

“Is my presence too incredible for you to handle?” she sighed, but actually meant it.

A true psycho. I gave a sigh, waiting for an answer in the trash can that still smelled better than Jess and her flower spray.

Jess flipped her blonde waves over her head and her green eyes stared into mine, which had just peeked out for a moment to catch the action.

“Sweetheart,” She smiled foolishly and advanced, “Tell us your feelings, we all want what’s best for you, don’t you see?” She talked with her hands in a hazardous way. Her stride carried her to the edge of the dumpster, where she decided to lean on it with half a butt in my face, and half a cheek out.

Ryan and Fiona looked at each other confused until Ryan spoke up, “Jess, you’re a great girl….”

“Hush, hush Ryan, I knew that, my handsome boy must say his thoughts so I can officially prove you all wrong.”

I took an unpleasant gulp made up of a combination of relief that this was going to be over, and felt an odd sense of guilt.

“Jess you know that you are a super girl but–”

That’s when the works came to play. With an artificial sigh she put her hand to her head and bent her back out, “Oh dear me, stop playing these silly games, we know the truth so..”

I could remember the first day I met Jess. Her reddish brownish skirt that hung above her knees, and brown top that was fitted great. She wouldn’t look like the type of person who would be as crazy as she was.

“Jess,” I stood up now from the dumpster, and some litter toppled from my head and fell to the ground. Why was this so hard? What was stopping me from getting what I want?

I took a breath and then decided to improvise some break-up speech that I only thought about in my remaining seconds sitting in the dumpster. “Everyone is unique and different in their own ways,” I started. “Some things are meant to be, just like some people are meant to be together. I think that us — ” and I motioned to the space between me and Jess — “is not necessarily meant to be.” I gave a weak smile to show I was finished. Jess gave a laugh, more of a pretend cackle.

“Honey, we are on different levels, but we will make it work.”

She took my hand and hung it over her shoulder. “I just love us, we’re as cute as Minnie and Mickey or Rose and Jack!”

“Jess, please. I just need some space,” and tried to wiggle my arm free.

“But I like it when we’re closer.” Jess bumped her hip next to mine, and put both her hands around my neck. She gave another giggle.

“Well, I don’t, Jess. Can you just respect the fact that I need some time?” I was doing the best I could to stay cool. Ryan and Fiona still stood, but had inched back behind the corner of the alleyway.

I wanted to sink back into the garbage can. She nuzzled her nose up to mine. “And I think we are perfect for each other.”

“Enough!” I shouted, more exasperated than intended. I harshly pulled my arms back and backed myself away. “Jess, I’m done!” I stated. “D O N E!” my voice echoed within the alleyway perimeters. “I’m sick of this relationship, and of the fakeness, and not being able to speak,” I ranted. “I don’t like you and am going to stop pretending that this is okay.”

I had motioned between us. “Just go and think you’re so much better then everyone, Okay?”  My ears were swelling with the unidentifiable silence. Just pure quiet. I looked to Jess’s face and witnessed her rosy cheeks lose their color and turn into a weird pale. Her eyes weren’t watering, but they were looking to something else, they weren’t looking into this situation. Her lips were in a line and didn’t look like they would be open anytime soon.

“Jess, I’m so sorry.” I woke to my senses. Sure, Jess may have not treated me the best, but she couldn’t really help it. I treated her much worse, I had been mean. I reached out for her arm, expecting she would have shaken it away after I had just broken up with her, but she hadn’t.

“So — so this is over?” she monotonously stuttered, while my hand touched her arm.

“I hadn’t meant to be so harsh, I’m sorry, you’re awesome and I’m sure you will find someone … soon …” I tried.

“No, no worries.” She looked up at me and pushed my arm away. She gave a forced, small smile and backed out of the alleyway. She looked at Fiona. “What about my happy ending?”

Fiona raced up to her in a hurry. “Oh Jessie.” Her eyes looked like they had so much commentary, but all she did was hug a somewhat vulnerable Jess, and carry her away.

Over Jess’s shoulder she mouthed, “Why would you do that?”

I mouthed, “ I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do.”

Jess broke from the hug and robotically walked to the alley’s opening.

“You have no clue, no clue about Jess,” Fiona fiercely whispered to me.

“I think everyone always knows when she walks in a room.” I did my best to politely say she was a drama queen.

“I wish the truth was easier, you would never understand.” Her voice was as low as if telling a secret. The wind picked it up, and whispered this in my ear.

* * *

For the next couple of days, Jess had been a thing of the past that every now and then made me feel like a terrible person, but things had to be done. Everything else seemed normal-ish. That is when December 24th rolled around, forgotten by many but not one.

“Hello, this is South Brick Pizza calling, is this Daniel speaking?”

“Yes?” I had questioned this more than answered.

The man’s’ Italian accent now flared with annoyance, “We have a birthday dinner booked for right now, and it is currently empty. You’re just a kid but you’ve got to understand pranks like these aren’t funny-”

“I am so sorry  sir, but I never made a reservation for a — ”

“Your blondie girlfriend did, left her whole card and everything, You’re a lucky man, you must never have to pay for a check.”

“What? Then why are you calling me?”

“She left both your numbers, so are you coming or not?”

“Not that I know of … ” My voice trailed off, then I interjected my own thought, “Wait, what had she said?”

“The girl wouldn’t answer, we should probably hook up a text machine thingy, maybe then we’ll get answers.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“You know how much business I lost from this kid? Gosh,” and he slammed the phone.

After the lovely call with Mr. Angry Italian guy, I  took a trip over to Jess’s. A little bit annoyed, I also didn’t want any charge on my card.

When I got to the door, I was greeted by Fiona.  

She ran her fingers through her auburn hair and gave me a sweet smile. “What’s up?” she asked, behind her a floating birthday balloon.

“Hey there Fiona, so I need to talk to Jess about the birthday festivities … ”

Fiona cut me off, “You know, I don’t think she’s up for talking at the moment … ”

“Okay, you see, this is kinda urgent she booked a party on my — ”

But I was cut off by a violent scream.

“I’m sure she accepts your apology, ” Fiona stuttered, and turned her face up the staircase.

I felt that it was my duty as a human being that I had to ask what that scream was about.

“Is everything alright?” I knew it was not.

“Yes, sure everything is — ” Fiona started. Her lips were pursed, as if they wanted to open, but there was some force greater, weighing down on her lips.  As if some emotional force struck Fiona with fear and she started shivering a little.

“No — everything’s not fine, why must people be so cruel? What did Jess ever do to them? Poor Jess’s birthday is ruined!”

I was confused, and a guy, how could I tell what was happening? I bent down and put a hand on her shoulder.

“What’s going on? Fiona, talk to me.”

“I — can’t,” she said to the ground. Her eyes fixed on the tip of my shoes.

“Fiona, I’m sorry I can’t come to the party, Jess and I aren’t dating anymore so it feels kind of awkward to go with her and her family to celebrate her birthday, but please tell me is everything okay?”

Another scream sent chills down my spine which took over my mind. I walked into the house with one hand holding Fiona’s torso up. She couldn’t even speak, she pointed up to Jess’s room.

I strode up the long, brown staircase. The wood floor slid beneath me as I skidded past two rooms, then finally when the scream was too close for comfort, I peeked back and saw a plain white room, with only a small window that had the blinds closed.

There was Jess, slouching and crumpled in a dark corner of the room. The lights were off, and she had her hands scrunched up close to her face, her blonde hair covering her eyes. Her loud sobs echoed out and rammed against the walls.

She was a Jess I don’t think many people, maybe no one, had ever seen. This Jess’s hair was not perfectly curled, it was crumpled in a messy bun. This Jess was in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, not any heels for sure. This Jess’s face had completely misplaced its charming smile for a scary frown that must have only been worn on a top-secret occasion. Her mascara coated her cheeks and drips of makeup revealed the Jess that no one knew.

I stopped for a second, soaking all of this in. Could this have been my doing? I thought. Was I a terrible heartbreaker? However, these thoughts all slipped away when Jess turned and began to get up, taking deep breaths. Jess’s eyes caught mine but quickly diverted, clearly thinking about something very consuming.

I approached the room cautiously, uncertain of what to expect. My head was circling its thoughts and all that was happening. I went to Jess’s bed, covered in perfectly white sheets. I took her hand and held it in both of mine.

“Jess,” I spoke, somewhat shakily. She kept trying to squirm her feet. “Jess,” I spoke more directly and in that scary but special moment, our eyes caught onto each other.

I led her to her bed and had her lie down. She squished herself into a tiny ball and started rocking back and forth. I put my arm around her back and started rambling about stuff.

“Jess, I’m sorry, I never meant for this to happen.” I rubbed her back and stared into her lost eyes, a forest of green. “Please, please don’t do this, take a break, take a breath. This is all my fault, I never meant to hurt anyone, I hate that you are so upset, really, I hate when anyone is this upset. I’m so sorry.” I sat there on her bed for only a few minutes, until finally, but slowly the rocking stopped and Jess started to blink her eyes.

Through her slurred mumbling, she was denying the fact that I had done something. “It wasn’t you.” I held her curled up body in my two arms and kept instructing her to be strong. “I was sinking, and I needed some sort of an anchor, you looked like a good one.”

Those words meant so much to me, yet I wasn’t even sure why. I had never been so important to anyone before. My friends never would have thought about me being someone who stops them from drowning. I gave her hand a slight squeeze. “You sure?”

And she nodded, breaking out of her gaze in the window. She gave the slightest of smiles to the ground, but then it disappeared. Jess let her head slide to my shoulder, and she lazily closed her eyes.

“You know, I don’t know what you’re going through or anything, but the beginning of this year was rocky for me. My friends kind of left me and in a way you were somewhat of an anchor to me too.”

Jess moved her back up and sat with her legs crossed. She fixed her posture and said, “Can I tell you a secret?”

I shrugged.

“I haven’t shared this side of me with anyone, but you’re my … ” she couldn’t find the word, “friend, right?”

“Sure.”

“Okay,” she took a deep breath, “My parents, they refused to come to my birthday party, they can barely stay together on one planet.” She looked up at me and solemnly stated, “You know, no one came.” She breathed through her nose and let out one of those sad laughs, “No one came.”  A tear started to trickle out of her eyes, like a leaf casually tumbling out of a tree. She used the back of her hand to wipe it. “I’m officially 18, I never expected it would be like this. I’m an average student I guess, no talents or friends, or even family … ” She sniffed her nose. “I’m a mess.” She bent over crying, her head in my lap.

I picked her back up, and looked her in the face as she silently weep.

“Hey, you’re not that much of a mess.”

She gave me a semi-smile.

“But seriously,” I continued, “You are so much stronger than you feel, all these events, they blur our vision of what the truth of is.”

She wiped her eyes again and off came a black streak of mascara. “I am a mess, an ugly mess — ”

“No you’re not, you’re amazing, this is honesty, this is the truth. Life isn’t like how it is in the movies. You are you, and honestly, Jess you’re great.”

“Who am I?” she asked to the air. “A overdramatic girl who is conceited and selfish and aggressive … ” she answered herself, speaking softly.

“I may have said that before, but this is a different side of you, a broken but … but …” I struggled to find the word, “a broken but beautiful mess. But sometimes that’s life. “

“Oh shut up,” she playfully snapped. “Stop being all smart.”

“Hey, you’re my friend, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I like people for their true selves.”

The room was silent.

Jess sighed, “You know, I have never really had a true friend, besides FIona of course. When my parents got divorced, my Aunt and Uncle, Fiona’s parents, took me in, we grew up together.”

“I haven’t had friends either.”

“Yes you have and you know it.”
“Friends, yes,” I sighed, “but not a true one, I think you could be one.”

“Could be?” She sniffed again, obviously unsure if I was joking.

“You seem like you could be good friend material.”
“What about best friend material?” she asked.

I replied, “We’ll see.”

And that’s how I started piecing together a fragile china doll, who seemed so perfect, but easily could start breaking apart.

“We do still have a reservation … ” I said.

She smiled and slipped her hand in mine.

Time machine

The time machine’s engine came to a shuddering halt. I was stranded in … in about 15 minutes ago. There were five of me back then. I think I overused my time machine. OH, wait, duh! Of course I overused it. You weren’t supposed to go back to a time you were alive. You were especially not supposed to come in contact with them. That would mess up the whole time-space continuum. Now, I’m going to go 20 minutes into the future.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

Someone (not me) ripped a hole in the time-thingy. Since I am the first person to do this, I will elaborate on how this happens. You have the “time gear” the all-holy powerful time manipulator, and you rip it up for your own benefit. And all that good stuff from the old civilizations have come over to my present, your future.

You know, this is the reason why King Tut died at the age of 19. I saw him come out of the time hole and he couldn’t breathe the air so he died in about 1.5 seconds. The air in our society is too advanced actually. People would guess that the air is polluted but actually we altered it to provide more oxygen. I’m guessing someone sent him back.

Some of the other great people from the past came to the future. Did you ever wonder why Da Vinci first made the painting Mona Lisa? He saw a copy from our future about Mona Lisa and got the idea. At least HE survived long enough to get out.

Even though we live in such a high-tech society, we have our flaws. We managed to find the “Time Gear.” The Time Gear was the physical part of time and space. In the past, there were documented recordings of the Time Gear. The physical part of it was harnessable, but there were reasons why it was hidden. The first time people moved through it, they thought that it was their time. It was always hidden in some deserted part of the world. Eventually, it was discovered at the end. There was some weird pattern that happened every millennia or so.  I could go on forever about what civilizations came through and were influenced by what we had. Some greek guy came through and found statues of the Greek Gods, which is how that all happened.

Okay, back to the topic. Yea… 20 minutes into the future wasn’t looking so bright. I use my Google Glasses and calculate that it will take approximately 13 minutes and 23 seconds before I cease to exist. In that exact moment, someone had killed my future self. It was probably the Sphinx crashing down and killing me with thousands of other people.

The reason why we’re in this whole dilemma is because I had decided to take a particle out of the Time Gear. The Time Gear looks like a gear, obviously, but once I took part of it out from its source, it began to eat itself. The Time Gear first starts with the beginning of time and space. It eats the Time Gear from that exact nanosecond. When the Time Gear from that time is destroyed, then everything ceases to exist for that exact moment. The thing is, if it reaches a point in time where someone crossed it, that person ceases to exist. So, for example, when James Otis came across. He invented the elevator. When the Time Gear from that nanosecond disappears, he disappears, and we lose elevators. Simple as that.

Okay, so my dad is the one who FOUND the Time Gear, so my family is rich and we have access to the Time Gear. I just went in and took a piece. I wanted to have time itself. With it, I could go back and control ancient civilizations (not really, but I wanted to travel time, it sounds cooler).

 

Chapter 1(the only chapter):

Well, I can tell you firsthand what death feels like. Easier than falling asleep. I can’t tell you which religion is correct about the afterlife. I never went there. I was in limbo. Using the stolen piece of the ”time gear,” I went back to 40 minutes before I died. That was a mistake that saved the world.

 

40 minutes before death:

 

Actually doing quite fine. Recorded 39 minutes and 23.354 seconds before death. Well, “quite fine,” right now throughout time, is ancient artifacts falling down and crushing everyone to death. “Not fine,” is ceasing to exist. Using the time gear, I teleport into the lab. All the scientists are panicking. I can see it in their faces. Well, also the way they act.

A few spot me when I teleport, but that’s hardly the weirdest thing that they’ve seen all day. “Everyone! TAKE A PIECE OF THE TIME GEAR AND TELEPORT TO A TIME AND BRING BACK A FAMOUS PERSON. WE NEED TO SAVE THEM.” Naturally there are a lot of questions such as, “How do we do that? Can we separate the gear? Will that make time break even faster?” But one stands out to me. “Are you from the future? You look like the splitting image of Dr. ____.”

I don’t want to mention my father’s name in this recording. It may put you in danger. The thing is, I don’t know WHY none of them recognize me. I’ve talked to them multiple times. Is it because I’ve essentially died? I go along with what they say. “YES I AM FROM THE FUTURE, NOW DO AS I COMMAND.”

In a few short minutes, everyone is equipped with a tiny piece of the time gear. I’ve given them all lists of people they need to bring to the future and also equip them with an Apple Scuba device. (I made this device 20 minutes ago to allow people to breathe our more polluted air.)

After asking all the scientists to grab someone from the past, I went to do my job. I went back in time to the exact second when I decided to take a piece of time gear. I put my piece back into it and stepped back…. Nothing happened.

I sighed and went to when the scientists brought back the people. When I went back it was chaos. Well, not really. They didn’t bring anyone back. I yelled, “WHAT THE ****??? WHY DID NO ONE BRING ANYONE BACK?!?!?!”

They mumbled and I heard, “ … didn’t know how … too hard … not our specialty … ” I sighed. Scientists who could even make clones could not ask to be sent to a time and bring back a person to the future. How hard could that be? I walked out and said, “Get ready to all die.”

The darkness soon came to my time. The scientists shouted out, “Help us!”

Using the full time gear, I transported  to a “dead” time. It’s like being in limbo. Harnessing the power if the time gear, I thought about everything that was in this time. With every thought imagined, things started to pop back. The time gear had started to spit back the things that it had taken.

The trees returned, the grass returned, oceans formed … all but the people. The people were harder. Intelligent life forms think differently from each other, so you have to think like them. Slowly and slowly, people started to form, I thought about more complex things, such as trigonometry. More people started to slowly come back.

I repeated this process with every single moment in time. It took me 146 days to do it. I became more skilled as I went along. Cavemen were easy. All they think about is food and animals.

 

Chapter 2: Redemption

After 146 days, 12 minutes, 15 seconds, I was done. Finally, everything was back to normal, well, almost everything. Some animal species went extinct, the ones I had no clue about.

I stood before the court. I had been charged for destroying the world. The best jurors from every time were called to partake in the trial.

“Motion to start the trial: ____” said a juror.

None opposed.

Another juror said, “_____ charged for destroying the time space continuum, the extinction of multiple species, and the destruction of elevators.”

“All who vote in favor of punishment please stand.” said the main juror.  About half of them stood up.

“Juror ___, you have the floor.” This went on for two hours. They changed the court to Congress, where they debated the topic at hand.

In the end, the vote were even. “WHAT?!?! THERE ARE 301 OF US? WHO DID NOT VOTE?” said the main juror. Yes. He’s loud.

One juror stood up. “I do not believe this is for us to decide,” he said. “JUST VOTE!” said the juror.

He votes in favor for me.

I was saved.

Someday the Sky Will Fall

Curtains hang, great slabs of grey cement over crystal portals. My mind is blank, a sheet of nothingness. I want to keep it this way.

My phone dings, breaking through my imaginary walls. Like thin layers of glass. They don’t do a very good job.

Do u wnt to get something to eat? : )

Daren. Boyfriend. Friend. Acquaintance. Whatever. I don’t know who he is anymore.

I tug at the blue ribbon strung around my neck. It digs. Cutting, holding Mama’s wedding band. My wedding band — now at least.

No I think, but my fingers don’t listen. They never do.

Sure! I type.

I’m not sure of anything, nothing I do has any exclamation points anymore. Those had faded away long, long ago.

I get up anyway, like I always do. My room is a mess, but I don’t clean it. I just shut the door behind me — hoping it will all be good when I come back.

Of course my room can’t be fooled. It is a very smart room or I am just a very stupid person.

My mind begins going round and round.  It often does this. Goes around and around and around, like one of those rides at the amusement park. I don’t go to those anymore. I did when I was younger — but not now. Too much food. Just too much of everything these days.

***

The floorboards creak loudly as I pass our outdated kitchen. “Ours” as in mine and dad’s. If I could call him dad anymore. He is so lost now, wading his way through the swamps of his memories.

I hold my head straight and my eyes cast forward. I refuse to look at the refrigerator. The whole kitchen is my personal monster. The cupboards. Everything. My very own personal black hole.

I pass the doorway safely and I let out the breath I always hold. My body rarely listens to my brain, but today I am safe. For once.

I grab four pieces of gum, stuff them into my mouth as if they are all that matters in the world. And they kind of are. For me at least.

Chew. Chew. Chew.

I am hungry.

No you’re not.

Yes I am.

My brain does this a lot. I never listen to the behaved side of me. Never. That bad little voice worms it way. Corrupting.

Hungryhungryhungryhungry.

My monster is always the same, I can never stop it. I am ashamed and disgusted.  Always.

I’ve gotten used to it.

Hungryhungryhungry.

***

Life is just a bunch of steps.

Wake up

Try to muffle the angry hunger growing in the pit of your stomach,

Go to school.

Eat something. Just try.

Get home.

Run. Like your life depends on it.

Try to sleep. It never comes.

Wake up…

Life is just a procedure you have to complete. That is all.

***

I pull into the tiny parking lot of Samson’s. A badly renovated diner, with a badly paved parking lot. Everything about this shitty little town is bad.

Even the people who live in it, like me.

I get out and don’t see. That great old-fashioned diner. Not like other people. I can never see things the way they are. The way they are supposed to be.

Everything is just so distorted. Even the cracked up pavement is frowning at me. At my bloated legs.

My life is just so cracked up.

You are fat and ugly. No one cares. Fatfatfatfatuglyuglyugly. No one cares about you.

Fat.

There I go again.

Around and around and around.

I spot Daren. He’s standing there trying to look for me. I want to turn around and not go to that cursed diner.

Full of food. Food that has calories. That make you fat.

But I walk and slap a *** smile on my *** face. At least I try, and it works. Because Daren believes me. Like always.

“Vivian!” Daren is waving at me. Always so happy. We are polar opposites.

“Hi,” I say.

We stand there awkwardly until he gives me a hug. One of those I want us to be more type of hugs. I ignore it.

“Let’s go in.” He says. And we do.

We are seated at a small booth tucked in a corner. I play with my napkin. Crumpling and uncrumpling. A little white ball.

Daren orders a burger. Hungryhungryhungryhungry.

“What are you going to get?” He looks over at me.

I pretend to glance at the menu. “I’ll have some tea.”

There’s silence after that. Daren starts tapping his finger. “I thought you were hungry?”

The little voice inside my head leaps at the opportunity. Yes Yes Yes!

“I’m not.” I smile apologetically. “Just ate.”

“Oh.”

And the silence continues.

Our food comes — well his food does. I try not to look as I sip my hot tea. Hot is good. It wakes me up.

But food is bad, I remind myself. Very, very bad.

“What have you been doing these days?” I try to forge on. And my glass walls tried to stop me. It can’t.

“Oh, ya know the regular.”

I don’t know, but I nod anyway.

I check my watch. I don’t have to be home for an hour, but I stand up anyway. “I have to go,” I say.

Daren stands up too. Hugs me. Again. “I’ll see you in school.”

“Yeah.”

Leans down. Kisses me, as if we’re together.

We’re not, but I smile. Even though I’m so confused, messed up. I kiss him back.

He likes that.

***

I’m starved. Famished. Ravenous. Empty. Hollow. All those words. Words that can’t get fat.

I want to pull over. To stuff my face.

Chips. Soda. Pizza. Ice cream. Cartons of ice cream. Pretzels. Chocolate. Food.

My head says no — of course. It always does. But then I’m pulling off at the next exit. Driving. Just driving.

Nononononono. I don’t listen. My foot presses the gas pedal, turning into the convenience store. The one that’s all run down. With the broken down truck. And the crumbling curb.

Leave and drive back home! That was behaved Vivian. I ignore her, like always. She is nothing compared to the other me. The one that shouts.

Hungryhungryhungry.

I get out of the car. I move like  a robot, not in control of my body. As if I am standing and watching outside on the cracked up sidewalk. Watching Vivian get fat.

Fatfatfatfatfatfatfat.

I can’t stop. I never can when it gets like this.

My cart fills up up up. Heaping. I can’t listen to myself. It’s impossible. And my money goes down down down.

I sit in my car. In the front seat. Eating. Not thinking.

No more chips or soda or pretzels or ice cream. All gone down the drain.

Afterward I wait. Wait for the guilt that always comes crashing. Big waves that suffocate. Choke me to tears.

And like always, I cry on the way home. And it overflows my car. I am teetering on the top of a mountain.

Guilty of a crime. Very very guilty.

***

I fall to the bathroom floor. Those disgusting chartreuse tiles.

Shove two fingers down my throat until everything is gone. I am just so ashamed. Ashamed of myself. Ashamed and disgusted. Like always.

And I lie there– for what feels like forever, until that guilt goes away. Fades away to nothingness.

I close my eyes.

But instead I see the stark white hospital. White walls. White floors. And then a quivering white lump, on the tiny hospital bed. Small mama. Small me.

She presses the ring–her ring into the palm of my hand. “Keep it, darling … my Vivian.” Mama’s voice croaks. Like a frog. A sick frog. She closes her eyes. Then opens them. “Some day the sky will fall,” she whispers.

Then she is gone. A wisp of air, blown away. Gone.

I’ve never told anyone that. What had she meant, when she said those haunted words?

Someday the sky will fall.

The memory has become wrinkled around the edges. Old. Sepia. But it stays tucked away. Hidden, strung on a blue ribbon.

***

Dad is home. I am in my room again. Looking at the grey slab curtains. I hear him tromping up the stairs.

Sometimes I dread our little talks.

He comes in without knocking, bringing the smell of wet rain clinging to his untucked shirt. I pretend I don’t know. Pretending to read. My whole life I pretend in front of him.

“Vivian!” He acts all excited when he says my name.

“Dad.” His smile slides off his face. Like it is made of water.

Maybe he really is trying. Like Ms. Freeman says. Dad sits on the corner of my rolly desk chair.

“You need to clean your room Vivian.” As if I don’t know.

“Yeah.”

Dad stares at me as if I have two heads. And maybe I do.

“I’m worried about you, Vivian.”

I am too I think, but I don’t answer. Just wait.

“I don’t want to go through this again.”

I don’t either.

Silence. The space between us stretches for a long time. A stretch of air.

“Have you been eating?”

I want to throw my lamp at his head. I want to cry and wail. Say that he doesn’t understand me. That food is the enemy. My eroding flaming monster.

But instead, all I say is, “Yeah.”

Dad tries to get up but doesn’t move.

Maybe it’s that thick stretch of air that we made. Dad and I.

“I’m going to talk to a doctor, Vivian. You don’t look well.” Another stop. A halting breath. “I’m doing this because I love you honey.”

Yeah right. You love mom. Who hasn’t been here. For a long long time.

But, “Ok,” is all that leaves my lips.

Finally Dad leaves, the smell of loneliness leaving with him.

Nothing is ever ok.

It is dark — my room. The moon is gone, hiding behind my depressing curtains. I should get rid of them I think.

Dad is asleep, probably–but I’m not. I never am. Even if I try.

The moon peeks at me as I open my door.

Then slam it shut wishing the moon would take care of the mess.

***

Our treadmill is big and black. Bulky. Hulking piece of metal. It helps though–with the guilt. The moon watches as I sweat into the night.

My body stings. Aches. Screams.  But I don’t care. All I care about is Burning. Off. Those. ***ed. Calories.

***

Dad is sitting at the kitchen table when I come down the next morning.

He is sitting, so I sit too. The cereal box is open. I  tell myself that I’m ok without it.

But really I’m not.

The refrigerator is scowling at me. I ignore it, along with everything else.

Dad’s lips move, but I don’t understand what he is saying. I don’t understand anything these days. Not myself. Not dad.

The kitchen isn’t my only monster. My body is my monster too.

I shake my head. Don’t know what I’m doing that for. Shaking my head to life probably.

“Vivian!”

Oh, there it is — sound. The dishwasher whirs too. I never realized it was so loud.

“Are you alright?”

No. Dad sounds worried.

“Yes,” I say. I am lying. And he knows it too.

“You’re lying,” he says. Dad’s right. For once at least.

“Yes.”

Dad is worried even more now. Always worried, that seven letter word that can’t get fat.

You’re fat and ugly. Fatfatfatfatfatuglyuglyuglyugly.

Maybe I can drown myself in these bad words.

Maybe words are my monster too.

“Vivian!”

Did I answer? Probably not. I don’t remember anymore. I never remember — just keep my mind blank.

Nothingness.

Hungryhungryhungryhungry.

***

Mom always told me that being pretty was everything. People will like you. Always want to be your friend. She had explained this as she stood, staring into the floor length mirror, adjusting the straps of that tight black dress she had always loved.

“Why?” I had asked. I had stared too. Worshipping her. Mama’s every move. I hadn’t understood.

“You’ll know when you’re older.” Mama had waved a hand. Dismissively.

She was right. I understand now. As much as I ever have.

***

Coldness is being splashed on my face.

Maybe I’m in heaven–but I am not. I know I’m not.

The first thing I see is the cracked up ceiling. Chartreuse too. Like the bathroom tiles. Tiles I know too well. Could I call them friends? Definitely not.

I think I am going crazy. True — 110% true.

Water — that’s what this coldness is. Not heaven, just water.

That’s too bad.

“Vivian! I’m taking you to the hospital!”

No! Hospitals are clean. The type of clean that clogs your nose. Teasing. Like words. With fat nurses. Who would feed me food. Daemon food. Looming monsters. Fire. Licking. Food. I tremble…

Get up.

Put hands on counter.

Slap. a. ***ed. smile. on your. ***ed. face.

Just follow the steps. And I do. Just like living in this shitty world.

***

Fine:

I tell dad I’m fine. I don’t think he believes me. I tell him I’m fine. Again. Always. The type of fine that translates to I am never fine but I’m just saying I am.

He doesn’t believe me.

But I have convinced myself that I am fine. Which I’m not.

I’m always not — fine that is.

***

God:

I don’t think I believe in god. If he was real he would help me. If he is out there, he’s an idiot.

For not helping me.

Ms. Freemen–my counselor, the shrink. Whatever. Says I’m making progress.

By admitting I need help.

But I’m not admitting I need help. I am admitting god needs help.

My counselor is an idiot too.

Like god.

***

Dad leaves. Finally, looking at me all weird. But he leaves.

He swears he will call a doctor.

This time he sounds serious. But I still doubt it.

I am worried. Just like him.

I go back to my room. Have to go past the kitchen.

Hold my head straight. Feel the cupboards looking.

Pass it. Safe. Again.

My stomach rumbles.

HungryHungryhungryhungry.

When I get upstairs I find my room still a mess — sadly. The moon didn’t do a very good job.

I decide to tear the slab grey curtains off my windows. There, all better.

But I’m not better. My room is but I am not. It’s a start though.

I collapse on my bed, thinking how sad my life really is.

Slab grey curtains. Daemon food. Eroding fire monster. I lie there until it is time to run again.

***

¨Vivian Mince, please report to Ms. Freeman’s office.¨

It is school again. Monday. I have no hope today. Usually I do. To be pretty. Skinny. But today I am a hollowed-out tree trunk, with no heart. No soul.

I go down the stairs, seeing the walls. A light blue. People jostle me.

¨Sorry,¨ they say. And I smile and nod. All just pretending. Wearing a mask that is not me. But now that I think about it — I have been pretending for a long long time, so far back that I can´t remember. Always.

It’s always been my way of hiding.

***

I raise my hand to knock on the flimsy door. All the doors are flimsy in our school. My life is flimsy too. Just like the doors.

¨Come in.¨ Ms. Freeman says. So I do, although I don’t want to. It is never a choice I want to make.

She sits, my counselor does, and smiles. I don’t smile back.  All I can think about is god. And how he is an idiot just like her.

¨Have a seat.¨

I sit on that nasty yellow couch. Lumpy.

It is silent for what seems to be a very long time. All I hear is the clock ticking.

Ms. Freeman shuffles some papers. I clear my throat.

“So … Vivian.” My name again. She says it with so much power. Entitlement — like that.

She thinks she is something to me. She isn’t. Of course.

“Your dad called me.” I pretend not to be interested. But I am. Definitely.

I don’t answer. I cross my legs instead. The clock keeps ticking.

“He’s worried, Vivian.” I do not want to look at her. But I do. I always do.

“Stop,” I say.

“What?”

“Saying my name like that.”

“… Oh.”

I smile, because she faltered. Ms. Freeman has never done that. Ever.

“He’s worried,” she repeated.

“Yeah.” And that is it. Just yeah.

“I called you here to discuss some … options”

Options for what? My life? Or just me. I sit up straighter on that lumpy couch.

“Like what?” Be calm. Let nothing show. Nothing.

“He says you’re … struggling.”

I close my eyes. Angry. Angry and shaking. *** you Ms. Freemen! *** you. Don’t you get it? I’m always struggling. Always. Always. Always.

But “You spoke to my dad?” is all I say.

“Well yes — and we’ve both decided that you need help. A Lot of help.”

God needs help. I think.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Vivian. So many young adults like you go through this — and it’s hard work to heal but … ”

I stand up.

And put a hand on the door knob.

Go. Run. And never come back.

I follow the steps, like always. I follow the steps because I am tired. And hungry. My brain is rattling inside my skull. But also because she said my name.

She said my name. Like mama did.

When dad and me were still a family. When mama was still in the picture.

***

The bathroom is small. Though, so am I. It smells too, like disinfectant. I sit on the toilet seat, curl up in a little ball and tuck my head between my knees.

So I can’t see anything. Just the way I like it.

Sometimes I feel like I want to cry. My throat gets all sticky. It’s hard to swallow when it gets like that. Hard to breathe. But I can’t cry. There are no tears left. I am empty.

I sit there for a long time. So long that everything just blurs into nothing.  Girls go in and out.

Whispers following them, like phantom voices.

The door bangs. And I stay.

Sometime later, someone thumps a fist against the stall door, pulls me out of the vortex that I had created for myself.

I needed help. I just didn’t want to face it.

***

Then, I am outside. Where the wind is strong. Ms. Freeman is there too. Maybe she was the one that pulled me out of the tornado I had made. I feel for mama’s necklace. The one on a blue ribbon. But it isn’t there.

It isn’t there!

My body wobbles. So does my heart. My blue ribbon could be anywhere, mama would be disappointed.

I fall to my knees, bare hands digging in the muddy snow. My necklace, my necklace, My necklace. A whirlwind of thoughts. Spinning Spinning Spinning forever. Spiraling downward.

I have a headache.

A pounding headache.

But then there is a hand on my shoulder. Ms. Freeman’s hand, a dark chocolate next to a pale white cloud. That’s me and her.

“What’s the matter?” She asks.

“It’s my necklace,” I say. Just like that. As if it were that simple.

She unfurls her hand. A flower budding. New. Fresh. Untouched. With a coil of ribbon hidden within.

“I have it,” she says. Maybe, she whispered. I’m too relieved to know. Mama is still strung on my blue ribbon.

“It fell off, Vivian.” She says my name. This time quietly, as if her tongue were testing out a new word. “I wanted to give it back … it seemed like it was very important to you.”

“Yes.” My voice is quiet. Just like hers.

“Want to talk about it?”

I sit on the curb. Ms. Freemen sits too. We’re on even ground now.

“Mama gave it to me,” is all I say. “In the hospital right before she died.”

Ms. Freemen doesn’t say anything. Just listens.

“I was her world … Vivian … it — it means lively. Well, that’s what she always told me. Mama said I was the happiest baby she ever saw.”

I don’t think my body is hollow any more, because tears are welling in my eyes. Salty. Wet. I smile through the iridescent drops. I was happy then, but not anymore.

“Dad doesn’t know I have it … he — he wasn’t there that night and … ” I gulp. Catch my breath. ”I know he blames me. I could have done something! I ***ing could have fixed her!”

The wind scratches at my face. And I let it. I deserve it.

My blue ribbon is still in Ms. Freeman’s hand. She tries to give it to me. I don’t take it. It just hurts too ***ed bad.

She studies me, then pulls me to my feet. I let her, even though I don’t know where she’s taking me.

“Come,” she says. And I do, because I have no where else to go.

***

We are at the ocean. She took me there in her banged up Volkswagen. The waves lick my toes. They are cold. In a good way though.

“Why are we here?” I ask. But all Ms. Freeman does is smile.

She hands me the necklace. My necklace. Mama’s necklace.

“Throw it.” She says.

“Why?”

Ms. Freemen doesn’t answer, just looks out in the distance. But I know she heard me.

I look out in the distance too, mama’s heart dangling between my fingers.

A moment passes, another vast stretch of air.

And just like that I throw it. No thought. No nothing. And it feels like a gigantic weight had slid off my shoulders, as the foam and salt grab it all away. As if my blue ribbon had never been around my neck.

Ms. Freemen turns to look at me. She has a small smile playing about her lips.

“How do you feel?” She says it all serious.

But instead I laugh. Laugh at my shitty life, and the shitty diner and the shitty necklace. For making me feel so alone. Making me so helpless.

“Think of this as throwing away all the bad memories. The bad ones can get washed away, the good ones — no matter what, will stay with you forever.” Ms. Freeman’s voice has gone all soft. Testing out the waters. The waters of me and her.

“Yeah.” I say. And that’s it. Just yeah.

***

My phone dings. Daren again.

Want to talk? : ) with a little smily face.

I look at it, with no more mama to stop me. To hold me back.

Sure, I text back. And this time I really am — sure that is.

 

The End

Penny Lane

… Meanwhile Back in Penny Lane…

“In Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs, of every head he’s had the pleasure to know. And all the people that come and go, stop and say hello…”

Track 1

The street corner is bustling with people of all ages. An old man wearing large oxfords stomps down the sidewalk. A little girl with pink ribbons tied in her pigtails holds her mother’s hand. Schoolboys looking smart in their uniforms run and shove down the street, playing foolish games. It’s raining, which is normal for England. I would know; I’ve lived here my whole life. But this street corner is unfamiliar.

Just a minute ago, I had slammed my bedroom door and flopped onto my bed in frustration over yet another confrontation with my Granddad. Following my routine, I popped in my earbuds to calm myself down, and began to listen to The Beatles album I chose for tonight’s insomnia playlist.  So why do I now find myself wide awake on a busy street? I am surprised to see that I am no longer wearing my pajamas, but am dressed in a yellow gingham dress that I have never seen before. It has puffed short sleeves, a long cotton skirt, and a brown belt. I lift the foreign skirt between two fingers as if it is fragile china. It looks like something an old-fashioned paper doll would wear. My earbuds are still in and the Beatles album is still playing. I pause the song and tuck my iPod and buds into the convenient dress pocket for safekeeping.

I have suffered from insomnia ever since my Mum died. When I first started having sleepless nights, my father didn’t know what to do. I would come into his room and lay down on Mum’s side, which didn’t help the empty feeling in my chest, much less my sleep. The kids at school would tease and call me “Ruby Raccoon” because of the dark circles I had under my eyes. Actually, even now, without bags under my eyes, my classmates still tease me. We went to three different therapists, each prescribing different medications and solutions, which either nearly rendered me comatose or had no effect at all. It took four different paint jobs for us to figure out that changing the color of my bedroom was not helping or hurting my sleep patterns.

One night I finally discovered my cure. I had a funny song stuck in my head that Mum always used to hum. Obla-di Obla-da, life goes on… brah! I downloaded it on iTunes, synced it with my iPod and the next thing I knew, light was peeking through my thick “light absorbing” curtains.

It is music that lets me fall asleep. I guess it calms me because it reminds me of my Mum. When she was alive, she was always humming a tune, dancing in the supermarket to the Muzak, or playing her endless CD collection on our family room’s big stereo system. Morning and night that old clunky stereo was blasting rock ’n’ roll, bopping smooth jazz, or shrieking pop music. She even played it when no one was home as she said it was the best way to ward off burglars.

But she’s not alive anymore and I’m not at home. I’m on a strange street corner in who knows where, and I am still upset from the quarrel that I had with my Granddad at supper. My Grandmum had cooked her special shepherd’s pie and we all sat down to eat when Dad got home from work. From across the table, I watched my Granddad sulk and play with his food, making tiny mountains out of mashed potatoes, and rolling the peas around the plate. Even though this was his typical dinner-table behavior, it still bothered me how childish he acted. This was my Grandmum’s special dish, her own recipe, and she had spent all afternoon preparing it.

I continued reading the newspaper. It’s my habit and my prerogative to read while I eat. I call it “reating.” Although some people think it’s rude, no one really ever talks at my dinner table. I was reading the front-page story of The Guardian, when my Dad reprimanded me:

“Rube, put that away, we’re eating,” he said sternly, looking pointedly at the paper.

“But Dad, this is serious!” I protested. “Eighteen people were killed in a freak fire on the 4th story-”

Ruby, put that away!” My grandfather pounded his fist on the table causing the peas to jump off his plate. He glared at me with burning eyes.

“Why can’t we just talk about it? It’s so tragic! Why not? Why can’t we talk about anything serious?” I asked.

It was always the same, I would try to bring something controversial or difficult up and then someone would chastise me and tell me to change the topic. Especially if it was about my Mum.

It has been nine years since Mum died. Yet there was still an unspoken rule; a boundary that I needed to stay within of “not talking about Mum’s death,” or anything related to it for that matter. There were only a few safe topics – the weather, school, sports, and Royal Family gossip. Everything else was censored.

I pushed back my chair with a screech, grabbed The Guardian, and stormed out of the room.

 

Track 2

Weeeooowww, weeeooowww!

I am broken out of my trance by the siren of a fire lorry speeding out of the station. I watch it turn left and squeal down the street. The lorry looks too old to still be operating. There’s a ladder leaning over the top and the firemen are seated in uncovered open seats. On the side in gold letters it says, “Liverpool Community Fire Station.”  I spy a bench and sit down, trying to get my bearings. I am in a suburban neighbourhood with several shops including a fire station, a bank, a barbershop, and a bus station. It appears to be a typical neighbourhood, except that everything looks dated.

A Rolls Royce pulls up a few feet in front of me and a man in a tuxedo with long coattails strolls out and into the bank. Nobody seems surprised to see the fancy black car, even though it looks like it just rode out of a James Bond film.

The sky is filled with foreboding clouds and the rain is starting to pick up. The street is long with one end turning off onto another avenue, and the other ending in a roundabout. Why am I here? I wonder for the hundredth time since arriving. I scan the street for clues. Am I dreaming or is this real? It seems pretty real…

I’m afraid to ask anyone where I am or when I am, as I know I would receive strange looks. I stand up and begin to walk past the shops. Just then a couple approaches me, the man dressed in grey trousers and a striped sweater, and the woman in a short-sleeved white sweater and long blue skirt. They stop in front of me and say, “Hello!” and “G’day!” Then they keep walking, but my feet are frozen in place. Huh. That was really… nice. No one usually stops just to say hello.

I pause beside the swirling red, white, and blue column outside the barbershop and peer in at the calendar on the wall. November 11, 1955.

1955?!

“Ey love! Why doncha step inside for a minute? It’s raining bloody buckets outside!” I turn and see a portly middle-aged man looking at me with kind, crinkled eyes. He beckons to me and I oblige, stepping into the shop and stomping off my wet shoes.

A line of black-cushioned chairs stand in front of a long mirror, all occupied by men and women getting a trim or shave. Each station is outfitted with a comb, a bottle of Brylcreem hair gel, curlers, scissors, hairspray, shaving cream and a brush. On the far side of the shop, I see women in curlers chatting and reading magazines while their hair is being dried under hooded salon dryers.

All of a sudden the woman under the middle drier lifts off the hood and winks at me, then lowers it back. I blink my eyes hard. That was weird. I recognize her… I turn away slowly and see a whole wall covered with a mosaic of black-and-white portrait photos of customers all modeling their new “do’s.” I take in the rows of pictures, two per person, one showing the front of their head, and one showing the back.

“Y’alright?” asks the man.

“I was just admiring your wall of photos.”

“Ah yes, these are the heads of all the customers that I’ve had the pleasure to know. Here at Pepper’s Hair, after you get your first cut, everyone always gets a picture taken. It’s one of our unique offerings. Allow me to introduce myself.  I’m Mr. Pepper, owner and main barber of this fine establishment.” Mr. Pepper is wearing a crisp white jacket, black bowtie and grey houndstooth pants. It is quite ironic that he owns a hair salon, for his hair is a shiny shade of bald. He gives me a firm handshake.

“And you are?”

“Ruby. Ruby Whittington.”

“I’ve never seen you before, and I know everyone in town! Are you from the area?”

“No, well, not exactly…” I look back at the wall of photographs, desperate to change the topic. It is then I see him. At the top right corner, there is picture of a man that looks just like my grandfather… well, a much younger version.  His light blonde hair is coiffed and gelled in a side part.

“Who is that?” I ask Mr. Pepper.

“That young man, Ms. Ruby, is one of our best and brightest. He’s a fireman for our local station and he recently saved the lives of 30 people in a collapsing building. I’ve heard that he keeps a portrait of the Queen with him. He’s our town hero.”

“What’s his name?”

“His name is Michael Beckett.”

Beckett. Beckett is my Mother’s maiden name. Beckett is my Grandmum’s married name. Beckett is my Granddad’s last name.

I lean closer and notice the dimple in his left cheek; the one thing that we have in common. Could he be my grandfather? I start to shiver.

“Ruby, are you alright? You’ve gone stark white, child! Let me fetch you a cup of water.”

I need to leave. I need fresh air. Yes, fresh air would do me a lot of good… I feel sorry leaving Mr. Pepper, but I can’t stay there a moment longer. I hurry out the door.  My grandfather, a hero? It can’t be him, it simply can’t!

The Granddad Mike I know is the opposite of a hero. He is a lazy curmudgeon who refuses to do anything except bum around the house all day, watching Antique Roadshow, soccer matches, and Wheel of Fortune. Although, I can still remember a time when Granddad was kind and fun to be around. We used to play “Pattycake” and compare the size of our hands, go on long walks by the river, and he would always read me bedtime stories.

I need time to think this through.

 

Track 3

“Poppies! Poppies for vet-rans! Buy a flower for the man in your life that made an invaluable sacrifice!” The rain has let up and a petite young woman in her mid-20s is standing in the middle of the roundabout.  She is wearing a Red Cross uniform and selling poppies from a tray.

“They’re our fathers, our mothers, do them a favor and give thanks today.” She trills. The way her silky dark hair curls under her white hat reminds me of – no it couldn’t possibly be. As I approach her, I notice that she looks a lot like my Grandmum.

Grandmum?

Grandmum grew up in Liverpool, in a two-story apartment house. Her whole family had a hand in the Allied war effort; her mother was a nurse, her father was a doctor, and her brother served and died in France. She was born in 1938, right before the start of the war and lived the first seven years of her life wrapped up in wartime turmoil. At the same time she was learning her ABCs, she was learning about food rations. She grew up accustomed to the sound of a blaring air raid siren in the middle of the night. My Mum told me that wherever there was an opportunity, she would volunteer, whether it was collecting supplies to send to troops, helping plant victory gardens, or writing letters to soldiers. When she was finally old enough, my Grandmum dove in headfirst. She joined the Red Cross.

“Dearie, do you have a brother, or an uncle, or a father that served our country?” The nurse looks at me inquisitively. “Well, no – not exactly, I mean –”

“Buy some poppies for them then!” she says cheerily, “All proceeds go to the Red Cross.”

She seems so kind, and I find myself drawn to her.  Maybe this nurse can help me figure out why I am here.

“Um, no thank you! But could I help you sell them? The poppies? You look like you could use some help and I’ve, uh, always wanted to volunteer.”

“Of course! Thank you! Here, how about you put this on…” She takes her white peaked cap with a red cross on the front and places it on my head. “There, now you look the part.” She smiles and I swear that she resembles my Grandmum.

I murmur a thank you and assume position – next to a random girl on a random street in England selling flowers for Remembrance Day.

“So, what’s your name?” she asks me in between shouts.

“Ruby.”

“Oh, I love that name! If I was ever going to have a daughter, I would name her Ruby.” she flashes me a bright, full-toothed smile, “I’m Beth. Not as lovely as Ruby, but I like it. I want to be an actress, but it’s hard to make it in the acting world.”

I nod, but my head is spinning. My Grandmum was an actress and her name is Beth. I look at her out of the corner of my eye. What is going on here?

Right then a beautiful woman walks up to us. Beth asks her if she would like to purchase some flowers, but the woman looks directly at me and says, “Yes, I’ll take two please.” She is angelic and I am gobsmacked. She has bright green eyes and dark brown hair, just like me. I fumble with the flowers.

“Here you go.” I say. She hands me the money, but I feel a lump between the bills. I separate them and find my earbuds curled up in a nice ball. When I look up again the woman is nowhere to be seen.

“Do you know her?” asks Beth. I don’t answer. I am in shock. I realize too late that this woman was the same one that winked at me in Pepper’s Hair. I feel in my pocket for my earbuds but they aren’t there. I must have dropped them when I hurried out of the shop. I close my eyes and picture her face again. I see the face of my mother.

 

Track 4

“Poppies! Buy some poppies for a loved one! Hello Michael, would you like to buy some poppies?” A tall, handsome young fireman stands in front of us and she grins at him from underneath her eyelashes.  I suck in my breath. My Granddad, or future Granddad, is standing inches away from me.

“Sorry Beth, I have to run.  I just heard about a fire across town. Apparently it’s a house fire and the family has three kids. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose someone you love, especially a child. I’ll come by later.” He gives her an apologetic smile and then rushes off. As he runs towards the fire station, he pulls a rectangular object out of his coat and kisses it, then tucks it back into his pocket.

“Go save some lives!” yells Beth. The next minute, the fire lorry roars by.

“That’s Michael. He’s really sweet.” She says, gazing after the red truck turning the corner.

“You like him, don’t you?” I blurt, then almost clap my hand over my mouth, astounded at what I just uttered.

“Yes, I do,” she giggles.  “It’s hard not to. He’s always saving lives and helping others. Did you see what he did? He was kissing a portrait of the Queen. Isn’t that lovely? It’s his good luck charm. In fact, when he comes back, I’m sure he’ll buy us out of poppies. That’s the kind of chap he is.”

At this point I have no idea what to do.  My Granddad is a town hero, my Grandmum sells flowers for vet’rans and my mother keeps making guest appearances.

“Thank you so much.  This has been great, but I really need to go home.  Can you please show me where the bus station is?”

 

Track 5

On our walk to the station, I feel my mind slowly begin to slip into the past. Or from this past to the later past…  I begin to think about my mother and how much I miss her.

My mother had only just turned 40 when she was killed in a house fire.  Our house fire, and it was my fault.  

I was six years old and my mother was cooking her own birthday dinner. Mum insisted that she cook because no one could make her favorite meal of Beef Wellington and Fried Potatoes as well as she could. My grandparents were over to celebrate, but my father wasn’t home yet. I was upstairs in my room, playing with my “wacky sounds” keyboard, and entertaining my teddy bear, who was wearing my “blankie” as a royal robe. I was bored and lonely. I had no siblings – and not many friends – so this was, and is, a common occurrence. I tried to get someone’s attention by banging on the keyboard, but the potatoes kept frying and my grandparents kept laughing and talking. I put my keyboard on dinosaur mode and hit a couple notes, but the roaring didn’t get their attention either. So I started to cry.

Finally I heard Mummy coming up the stairs, “I’m coming Rubes, don’t worry.” She appeared behind the childproof gate and walked me down the stairs and into the living room where my grandparents were talking and reading the newspaper. My Mum left the room to go back to cooking, but moments later I realized that I left my “blankie” upstairs. I started to cry again, “My blankie!”

Mummy heard me and immediately went upstairs to retrieve it.

Several minutes passed. She came back down and handed me my “blankie.”

“There you go sweet pea.” Those were her last words. What came after is a bit blurry.

My Mum had gone back into the kitchen, unaware that a towel near the splattering potatoes had caught fire and had spread flames to the ceiling. I suppose she thought she could put it out herself, because I don’t recall hearing her yell for help.  I remember my Granddad hustling us all out of the house and ordering us to stay put while he went back in for her.  We watched in horror as the flames jumped out of the kitchen window. Those were the longest minutes and the worst day of my life. My Granddad couldn’t save my mother. It was too late.

 

Track 6

From the bus, I watch Beth wave from the sidewalk, growing smaller and smaller. I retrieve my earbuds, put them back in my ears and am surprised to find that the same song is playing, even though I definitely remember hitting pause.  I quickly turn around in my seat and look back at the street. “Penny Lane, there is a barber showing photographs of every head he’s had the pleasure to know…” My eyes dart to the swirling barber’s pole outside the shop. Mr. Pepper!

“Behind the shelter in the middle of a roundabout, a pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray…” Oh my god, Grandmum!

Just then, the fire lorry zooms past, “And the fireman rushes in from the pouring rain, very strange…” Granddad!

“Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes, there beneath the blue suburban skies. Penny Lane.”

I turn back around and close my eyes.

Thanks Mum.

 

Track 7

I open my eyes and I am back in my own bed. The room is dark and I look at the glowing face of my alarm clock. 6:30PM, only ten minutes have passed since I left the dinner table. I hear footsteps outside my door and the doorknob turns. My Grandfather walks in, looking more tired than usual, but wearing a surprisingly cheerful expression. He sits down on my bed.

“Ruby, I …” he pauses and still hasn’t looked at me. His face looks sunken, the wrinkles on his cheeks looks like the ripples in water after you’ve thrown in a pebble. And yet, he looks different, better, as if he’s resolved something.

“Your mother, she was a very special person. When she died, you were very young and didn’t fully understand. I want to explain…”

I raise my eyebrows. What is going on? Why now?

“I haven’t been able to forgive myself for not being able to save her.  She was the reason that I retired. After that, I knew I could not continue. When she died, a little piece of me, of all of us, died with her.

“No, no Granddad. It was my fault.  If she hadn’t gone upstairs to get my blanket then none of this would have happened.”

He finally looks up at me in earnest. “Ruby, dearie, it seems that we share the same burden.  But you are not to blame.  It was my fault. I was the fireman and her father. Why wasn’t I able to save her?” He looks pained. “Well Rube, I’ll tell you why. Do you know how many years I was in fire department?”

“No, I don’t Granddad.”

“45 years. 45 years I fought fires, battled blazes, attacked the heat. In most cases, we saved everyone, no fatalities. But there were times when the people didn’t make it.” Granddad’s eyes suddenly became glazed over, as if he was reliving the past. “Dogs burned alive, sons burned alive, mothers burned alive! And every time we were left staring at a crumbling building, family members and friends sitting crying on the sidewalk, their hair streaked with ash. And, do you know what I was always thinking? ‘What if that was me?’ What if someone I loved was hurt and I was powerless to save them? That was my greatest fear.” His gruff voice was getting wobbly and his hands were starting to shake.

“So when I went to get your mother out of that burning kitchen, I was suddenly paralyzed. I couldn’t move beyond the doorway. Couldn’t move my feet.  My worst nightmare was coming true, happening right in front of my eyes. I was so scared Ruby.

“There is a rule that we follow in the fire department, after six minutes if you haven’t already gone in, then you should just stay out. I stood there for way more than six minutes. I was so cowardly, Ruby. She was my daughter. It was only when the fire started to spread towards me that I was broken out of my trance. I was way too late.”

His eyes are wet, but I can tell that a great weight has been lifted off of him in revealing this to me. I really don’t know what to say. But he does.

“I’m so sorry for the way that I’ve behaved these past several years. How I refused to cope with this and lived in denial. The way I ignored you. You are so, so precious,” he says.

We are quiet for a long time after that; each lost in our sadness.  Finally I know what to say.

“Granddad?”

“Yes Ruby?”

“When you were a fireman for the station in Liverpool, did you carry a portrait of the Queen in your pocket?”

He looks at me curiously, and I see a twinkle of young Michael Beckett in his eyes, the shared dimple in his cheek. He rises from the bed, and then returns moments later. He hands me a small frame with a black-and-white photo of a young woman wearing a dazzling crown.

“I used to take it with me wherever I went. I wanted to remember that I was serving our country. Why did you ask?”

“Oh, I just wanted to know,” I say, smiling up at him.

I raise my hand, fingers outstretched, palm facing out and he does the same. We put our palms together, and I see that his is still much larger than mine; bigger, stronger, protecting.

 

The End

 

You’ll Walk Into A Bar

You’re standing by a table in the corner of the room, nursing a cup of cider and trying not to stand out. People around you are talking and moving around and, in one instance, singing. You consider sitting down at the table, but the group already there would probably try to include you in conversation, so you don’t.

A huge guy winds over to the table. He catches your eye and smiles at you, then disappears suddenly from view. There’s a crashing sound and a muffled curse as the man hits the ground. Without thinking, you step forward to see if he’s okay.

He’s sitting on the floor, looking very sheepish.

“Are you alright?” you ask him, holding out a hand to help him up.

“Yeah, thanks,” he says. He takes your hand and pulls himself upright. “I’m Axel.”

“Greg,” you say. Axel’s eyes are deep brown, and there’s a small tattoo on his wrist. He looks behind him and frowns slightly at the table leg.

“That wasn’t very smooth,” he admits.

“I’ve seen smoother,” you agree. “Are you sure you’re alright? That sounded like a hard fall.”

Axel dismisses this with a wave of his hand. “I fall a lot. It wasn’t that bad. Nothing broken.”

“You spilled your drink,” you observe. “Can I buy you another one?” You aren’t sure exactly where this is coming from.

Axel’s face lights up. “I would love that.”

° ° °

You’ll walk into a bar. You’ll go up to the bartender and say, “I’d like a beer.”

The bartender will frown at you. “ID?”

You’ll smile nervously. “C’mon.”

She’ll roll her eyes, gesture at the door. You won’t move. “Out,” she’ll say. You’ll pretend not to hear her. She’ll beckon to the bouncer, expecting you to get the hint. You won’t. She’ll shrug. “Your choice, pal.” You’ll be escorted out of the bar.

You’ll struggle, but you’re only 5’4” and the bouncer, like most bouncers, is as tall as a mountain. So you’ll be lifted out and dropped on the curb. The bouncer, whose name is Axel, will sit down next to you, sigh, and drag a paw-like hand over his face.

“What the hell are you doing here, Greg?” he’ll ask.

You’ll shrug. “I’m getting a drink.”

“That’s not what it looked like.” You won’t say anything. He’ll wait, then shake his head at you. “I work at this bar. I work here.” He’ll rub at his forehead, sigh again. “You know I work here.”

You’ll carefully avoid his eyes, looking instead at your beat up pink Toms. But you’ll feel his irritation. He’ll exhale and push himself up. He’ll turn to go back into the bar.

“Axel,” you’ll say.

He’ll stop walking. “Greg. I need to get back to work.”

“I miss you.” You won’t mean to say it until you do.

“I know.” His voice will be soft, a gentle rumble and a gentle phrase. You’ll wait, hoping for something more, but instead the door of the bar will open, then swing shut.

After a moment, you’ll get up. You’ll push your bangs out of your eyes and take a deep breath. You won’t cry. You won’t. You’ll want to (you always want to), but you won’t.

You’ll feel trapped. You’ll want to claw your way out of the feeling, but you won’t be able to.

So you’ll walk. Quickly, arms wrapped around your torso like they’re holding you together.

You’ll walk down the sidewalk. Past the family owned shoe store that they’ll have converted into a Starbucks, past the swing set where you used to sit with pretty eyed boys and spill all your secrets for a kiss, past what feels like everything.

You’ll walk to the end of the street. And you’ll stop. And you’ll breathe. You won’t think about the dumbass thing you just did.

Once you feel like you can trust your mind and your legs, you’ll sit down on the curb. The tight feeling won’t be gone, but you’ll pretend that it is. Sometimes that works, and this will be one of those sometimes.

You’ll open your phone and tap out I’m sorry, then delete it before you can hit send. I’m sorry won’t fix how many times you’ll have shown up uninvited (unwanted) in his life. You’ll understand that.

° ° °

You blink.

“Greg? You alright?” Axel asks.

“Yeah…yeah,” you reply. You shake your head. It feels like cobwebs are draped over your thoughts. Axel still looks concerned. “I’m fine,” you add. “I just zoned out for a minute.”

“Yeah, you looked pretty out of it.” He takes a sip of his drink. “What were you thinking of?”

“The future, I guess,” you say.

Axel smiles. “The future, huh. What about it?”

You shrug. “Axel…” You stop. “I’ve got to go.”

“Oh, alright.” He looks puzzled, but he says nothing and stands up with you. “Here, I’ll give you my number.” He writes it down on a piece of newspaper and hands it to you. “Call me, okay?”

“I will.” You won’t.

You take one look back when you get to the door. Axel’s watching you, and you quickly push the door open and step outside.

It’s better this way. You understand that.

Wishful Thinking

“‘Hello, my name is Steve. I am a male underwear model, so I know how to strike a pose!’…and that’s when I just wink and point my fingers like guns and…. BAM I got myself a girlfriend!!”

I circle the word “Goal!” on my notebook and start twiddling my pencil between my fingers and think, No, no that’s waaay too cheesy. Darn! At this rate I’m never gonna get myself a girlfriend! Plus my name’s not even Steve. Why did it have to be the uncool name, Swanhilde! Along with this lame name comes my short height which would never make me a model! Arg, I just about have the WORST luck in the world! Maybe I should just give up and become a priest or something. At least that way I would have a legitimate reason as to why I don’t have a girlfriend… Ugh, but being a priest would be so exhausting! I mean, keeping the secrets of people’s bad deeds and repeating the same lines over and over again everyday is definitely not for me. Okay, okay, I just need to take a few breathers, calm down, and think of a plan that would actually work; because at this rate I’ll never get a girlfriend by the end of high school!

…Alright so it’s already been 30 minutes, and I still can’t think of anything better. I mean now my mind has somehow wandered into the realm of cheesy pickup lines with the horrible catastrophes, “Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling,” or even, “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.” Now I’m starting to feel as though something’s wrong with me. All those years of being raised under the constant torture of my dad’s bad jokes is probably finally getting to me.

I stop to seriously think for a minute, then finally a brilliant idea pops in my head.

“Maybe it’s about time I got some professional help,” I proclaim.

I grab my phone out of my pocket, swipe through the contacts and stop at that beautiful name, Jacob a.k.a. the Love Expert. This guy has dated tons of girls; he’s dated girls in our high school, girls from different high schools, girls that currently go to college, and girls that are out of college and working. He is definitely my idol; the man who will hopefully one day turn my name from Swanhilde to Suavehilde. Although none of his relationships have ever worked out…but that’s not the point. The point is that he has experience. Wow, I never thought I could ever associate that word with dating, but it’s all because of that truly divine man, Jacob. I quickly dial his number, press the call button, and begin listening to those lull rings as I anticipate that “Hello?” when the love expert picks up and can finally answer all of my prayers… But instead I find myself with his voicemail and decide to politely leave a message asking him to call me back.

Alright, so it seems that so far I have not made any progress at all, and all I’ve been doing is sitting at my desk for a few hours thinking of nothing but pure nonsense. At this rate there’s no way I’ll ever get a girlfriend, I should probably give up on such wishful thinking for now. I guess it would be a good time to commence the backup plan. I scrummage through my backpack and whip out my true bae, my Nintendo DS. I insert my pokemon game, the screen begins to glow, and that beautiful theme song begins to play. Well, I may not be able to catch the ladies’ hearts, but I know for sure that I am a master at catching pokemon! I flop on my bed and play until I fall asleep. Jeez, being a teenager is exhausting.

Yaha

I was a pet. I only existed to benefit a man. I was there to boost a man’s mood. I was on earth to be an accessory for a man. Father ruled mother and I around as if we are his servants. He went out all day in his silk turban with gold scarves that mother and I bought him. Then, mother and I would take the scraps of the soup and eat it before Father awoke. I checked Father’s room and I covered him with yet another blanket. I tiptoed back to the kitchen making sure not to disturb Father in his “so precious” sleep. Mother opened the front door and we sneaked into the empty stable. The imprints of cows in the hay reminded me of the cows and chickens we used to have just days before. But as usual Father just gave away our hard-worked gold. Before I knew it, mother and I would be thrown away too.

I miss papa so much. Last year when he died, mother married this man. He was horrible. Once he came to our little hut, he bossed us around to get supper going meanwhile we had been chopping vegetables all day and sweeping the floor since dawn. Once the stew was fully cooked and mother bathed Father, we watched as he quickly ate the bean and lentil soup. Once he was done and lied down for his dusk nap, Mother told me that if we didn’t have a man in the family we really wouldn’t have a house to live. I rested on my bale of hay with mother on the plank of wood next to me and I tried to wake up less than 52 times that night.

I woke to a strange woman in many jewels and gold jewelry. She was talking to Father and mother was listening from the kitchen. I heard Father say to the lady, “You want Yaha? You want that thing?”

The lady answered, “Yes, she will provide you with money and maybe a new life.”

Father’s feelings towards me changed. “Well, yes,” and then he used a word I had never heard him say before, “My daughter…”

Mother came to the barn. She whispered in my ear, “They are going to come and take you in three days time. You will go to the city and work for us. The lady says that you will send us money for the house. Just like Esha.” Esha was our neighbor down the hill. Last year she left for the city with the same lady. Every month she sent a bundle of Indian Rupees. Rumor has it that Esha will be back next year. I will miss mother with my whole heart. I hope Father treats her well and I will miss them very much.

Later that day, mother and i started packing. I brought my best silks for my job and my new blouse. Then, mother slipped something in my hand. I looked down and a golden chain slipped through my fingers. On the chain, an elephant lay on a golden circle which opens up. Inside the necklace, a drawing of mother and I rests. I believe everyone has a talent. Mother’s talent was art. When papa was alive, mother drew all the time. Since papa passed and mother married Father, she hadn’t drawn anything, or so I thought. The necklace was beautiful and mother clamped it around my neck. I tell her, “I will always think of you.”

Mother replied, “I love you. I will pray to Brahma for you.”

I tied my bag and hugged mother. I will miss our hugs.

Two days later the lady came. She had a big grin on her face and handed Father a big sash of Rupee and he reflected the grin. I kissed mother and Father. The strange lady grabbed my hand and tugged me from mother. I looked back for the last time with tears in my eyes. Mother blew me a kiss, I smiled and continue walking. The lady grinned so wide I could see her gums. She had metal in her mouth and goosebumps climbed up my arms. She shoved me into a cart and snarled, “No more pretending,” and ripped off her hair and a lock of hair is in her hands and her head is shaven. I wanted to run home. I wanted Mother. I wanted to hide in Mother’s arms. I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to be there.

The cart rumbled down the dirt roads. I felt every thump and shift through my soul. I suddenly felt the roads become smoother and the noises become louder. I poked my head through the sheets in the cart and peek outside. I saw these metal structures high as the clouds and more people than I have ever seen. There were more food than could feed my family for our lives stacked on carts all around me.

A man walked to the cart and I heard the lady arguing with him. He opened the sheets and saw me curled up in the corner. He forced me out of the cart and pushed my shoulders backwards. He measured every part of me. Then, he shook his head with disapproval and I am forced back into the cart. The strange lady called my name. “Yaha will not eat her scrap of bread today.” The cart continued to drag along the roads.

I woke to loud voices once again. I peaked out from the cart and saw men selling fish saying, “Precious fish for sale.” Even the food had a beautiful name. I wished I was a fish. Able to swim freely and mate with who they want. I took a spoon from the corner and carved a fish into the wood of the cart. I thought of mother and papa and knew they would love the art. The cart stopped and I hide the spoon and my thoughts of mother.

This time the man was greasy and heavy. He shoved a naan down his throat and smiled. The bread squished between his teeth and not only is it visible but so is his personality. He pulled out a wad of rupee and I knew he can pay the price so goosebumps climbed up my body. The man slid his hand down my back and whispered, “Don’t worry, sweetie.” His breath smelled like onions and turmeric. He needed a mint lassi, and I knew he can definitely afford it. The rude lady grins almost as wide as he does. As he was handing over the rupee I thought of mother. I thought of what she would tell me right now. I missed mother. I pushed mother out of my mind and told myself that I will never see her again if I am with this man. I run.

Through the vendors. Through the children skipping in the square. Through the men dragging around their servants. Then I saw the elephant. This huge gorgeous creature stood ahead of me. Our eyes locked and time stopped. The elephant wrapped its trunk around my body and for the first time since I left mother’s side I felt protected. Then I remembered the locket mother gave me. I rubbed my fingers along the engraved elephant. I felt as if hugging the elephant is hugging mother and papa together. Then I felt ice cold and I saw the rude lady with two large men. The elephant was spinning and everything went dark. All I could hear was the cursing of the lady. A sharp pain drove up my back. All was silent.

I heard more people. I opened my eyes and I thought I was in the cart. Not everything was clear. I looked at my drawing and it did not look right. I closed my left eye and the fish was perfect. I closed my right eye and the entire cart was fuzzy. A sudden burst of light and pain entered the cart. Without thinking my hand flew to my left eye and the pain was gone. The lady dragged me out of the cart and my hand stayed on my face. She pried my hand off my eye and fell backwards in awe. Her steps were stuttered and she tried to walk back to me and screamed. She started crying. The lady stormed to the front of the cart and we were back on the road.

We passed six more towns and each man had the same expression as the strange lady did. One man said to the lady, “Kamī, I am disappointed in you, how could you get stuck with such an ugly piece of merchandise?” and walked away with a smirk. The lady rolled her eyes and as she was walking to the front of the cart. I asked her, “Your name is Kamī?”

The lady responded, “No, that is what they call me, you can call me Maya, that is what my family calls me. Did you know you are the first to stay with me this long?” Then Maya shook her head and murmured, “This can’t be happening…” She walked to the front of the cart and said, “No dinner for you.”

The cart rolled along. I heard the approach of another city. I saw more people than any other city. As Maya’s footsteps near the opening of the cart, she said, “Welcome to New Delhi,” under her breath. Another greasy man waddled over. I knew there was no running now. This man’s hair was gelled back and his shirt was unbuttoned. My stomach turned. He slipped his hand down my shirt and I backed away. Maya smirked this time. She demanded the usual number, “Six thousand rupee.” The man handed over a wad of cash without hesitation. I noticed something. He never looked at my eye. His eyes never left my hips. At that moment I knew why he didn’t care about my blurry eye. I looked at Maya as she grinned running into the cart and sped away as fast as possible. The man grabbed my arm and pulled me down alleyways and we ended in a small opening.

We ended at a giant house. Inside an extravagant cooking quarter was in front of me. He showed me twelve rooms and two of them had long beautiful wooden tables topped with baskets and baskets of food. High ceilings and long shining crystals hanging from them. Why would you waste gems on your ceilings? He also had these glass pear shaped things everywhere. They were also hanging with the crystals and on the tables. He brought me to a door but instead of a room, there was only a decreasing elevation. He made a gesture for me to go down and as I made my way down, I heard murmured conversations and the closer I got to the bottom, the quieter they get. There are many other girls. I counted and there were nine of them. They look at me and laugh and continue their conversations. There were mats on the floor and concrete walls. I heard the door above us slam and the girls talk louder. I was unsure of what to do. I sit in the corner and run my fingers across the elephant necklace and the girls stare at me. I close my eyes and try to block out their chatter.

The next morning they surrounded me and stared as I got up. One stopped me and asked me about my eye. I told her I see a blur and she handed me what she called a ‘mirror’ and I saw that one eye looked at the mirror and the other was rolling in circles. No wonder no one wanted me but this man didn’t care. The girl told me her name was Nandita. She used to live on the streets by herself and she explained that the man told her he would give her food and a bed. What she didn’t know was that the bed would be his. She warned me that if he wanted to talk to me in private to do it quick because when it is quick it is less painful. After, if he likes it, you get more food and are welcomed back and stay, but if he doesnt, you’re back on the streets.

While Nandita was explaining life here to me, a bell rang and everyone got in a line. I shuffled to the back and an older lady makes her way down and hands us each a scrap of bread and walks back up. She returns a little later with a piece of meat and gives it to four tall girls who smile and eat it quickly. I think I will not do something I don’t like just to eat.

We are ordered upstairs and each one of us given a long wooden pole with hairs on the bottom and forced to ‘sweep the kitchen,’ ‘clean the toilets,’ ‘dust the furniture,’ ‘soak and dry the dirty clothes,’ ‘wash the dirty dishes.’ Some of the girls that received the meat are allowed to prepare food in the kitchen for the greasy man and his “family.” My arms ache and my head pounds. My fingers feel frail and my legs stumble down the stairs. I lie in the corner and try to take the pain away from my body.

The next day more bread, more cleaning, more aching, more talk, more sleep. About twice a day, a girl was called upstairs and when she came back received an extra scrap of bread.

The cycle repeated for 72 days. I know this because the nice girl Nandita who gave me the mirror engraves a line on the wall everyday. Days that someone new entered she made the line deeper so you know when your time started.

The next morning the old lady comes down and says, “Yaha you are wanted.” I go up to the cooking area and the man is there. He brings me to a room. I get scared but follow.

Leaving the room my body stinged and I felt as if my soul is drained. I looked back and saw the greasy man still in the bed smirking with his rolls spilling over and gelled hair out of place. I could not think straight. When I walked back I saw two little girls marching down the hallway and they asked me, ‘Is daddy in there?” I look at them and barely nodded. Tears crawled down my face and I passed another girl. This one seemed to be about twelve. She looked at me and asked, “You’re new?”

I nod silently and she gives me a tight hug. “You are different, none ever cry. I like you. Tonight meet me in the kitchen after Lila brings you supper.”

“Lila?”

“The old one, my mum. Follow her up the stairs and when she closes the door, stick behind and crawl out into the kitchen and I will be there. Oh and my name is Rajani.”

“Why?” I asked with confusion. “Why would you want to help me? Wouldn’t you want to stay with your mother and father?”

“My mum is silent. She pretends I don’t exist. And that man in there, I wouldn’t call him my father. You know, I heard some white people talking on the streets and they called him a strange word. I think the word was ‘rapist.’” I nodded and walked down the stairs. This all was a lot for me. All I could think was that I could leave this place.

When Lila came downstairs with the bread, I took my scrap and I sneaked behind her. No one saw me except for Nandita and I looked at her and she mouthed, I’ll pray to Brahma for you. I felt a burst of pride and hope through my body. I thought of mother and I felt suddenly happy and my goal was right in front of me. We smiled at eachother and I continued tip-toeing up the stairs. Through the crack in the door, I saw Rajani.

Rajani was holding a sack. It was filled to the rim with not only luxurious food but water canisters. She smirked and motioned me to come towards her. I slowly opened the door and crawled to her. We sneaked through the rooms and ended at the front door with the crystals and bright glass spheres on the ceilings. She whispered, “It’s called a chandelier and those are light bulbs.” I tried saying chandelier but instead said ‘candlair.’ Rajani giggled and as she opened the door a blaring alarm went off. We heard shrieks from the lower level where all the girls were. Now there were only 8.

We ran. We ran and ran. I saw the greasy man run to the door when we were down the alleyway he didn’t say anything but just stared. All eight girls surrounded him cheered. They were all smiling and jumping. Only one woman wasn’t happy. We saw Lila standing in the doorway frowning with her hands on her hips. I pushed her out of my mind and thought about mother. Nothing could stop me from getting to her.

At the end of the alleyway two tall men stood in the way. They were dressed in black pants and shirts and had a gold patch on their chest and nice black shoes. I ducked past them and Rajani passed me the basket and I grabbed it. I waited for Rajani. I run my fingers run down the textured elephant on my necklace and think of mother. Rajani tried dodging the police but they grabbed her. She shrieked and scratched them. She screamed, “YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME IN THIS HELL HOLE! NO, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE DOES TO ME!”

She flew her wrist into one of the men’s face and kicked the other in between the legs. The cheers from the house grew louder. We ran faster this time and Rajani smiled and said, “While those two Bēvakūphōṁ were strangling me, I stole his gun.” She smirked and pulled out a metal handle and as she pushed her finger a loud boom echoed, cats scattered and glass shattered. Rajani smiled wide enough that her dimples could touch her eyes. She shoved the powerful device into the sack and we continued running.

We ran through towns, through people, through homes, and through time. We ran and never stopped. If we stopped we would be misusing our newly found freedom. We ate while running and we talked but running but we never stopped. We ran through the days and nights and holidays. We didn’t try to run, our legs just wouldn’t stop. We couldn’t control our legs but now we could control our fate.

Two Excerpts from Leo and the Lima Bean

Excerpt One:

 

I sit in my bed reading Fudge by Judy Blume. I remember in third grade it was my favorite book. I would read it every day, over and over again. It felt right saying that Lila, my sister, was a little bit like Fudge from the book. I didn’t say that to any of my family members. I guess you can say that my mom and dad have always been protecting Lila. Whenever I jokingly say, “Oh, Lila. I guess you are going to be a mean old witch when you grow up!” My parents are always like, “Leo this kind of stuff can hurt someone mentally as a child and then affect how you are when you grow up.” It’s pretty funny some of the stuff she does, but if I say one word… Poof… There goes all my allowance for the next month.

When I was Lila’s age, my parents left me with 7-year-olds and told them to be careful. Well, they were never careful. And if some older cousin said I had funny ears, then my parents would laugh and say, “Oh yeah, he does have hilarious ears!”

If I said that to Lila, I would probably be in jail. It just goes to show that parents go crazy the second time around.

 

Excerpt Two: In this Excerpt Leo is wondering where his friend Marshal is because he hasn’t seen him all day.

 

It was nine at night and I was trying to figure out where Marshall was. I didn’t think he was at Wilson’s. There was a little alley way between Marshall’s house and my house, and I could see that there was no light in his bedroom. He wasn’t asleep because he always slept with the closet light on. There was no window from my bedroom, but I was down in Lila’s room. She was asleep, so I was trying my best to stay quiet while peering through Lila’s closed curtains. None of the other lights in his house where on, so he was definitely not watching TV or something. As I stepped onto the window sill to get a better look at the closet, a toy that was on the window sill fell to the ground, causing a loud noise followed by the words, “Hi, what’s your name?” coming from the speaking doll now lying on the floor.

“Leo?” I heard an unsure Lila from her bed across the room.

“Hey, Lila,” I said, turning around and facing her. Hair was all over her face as she rubbed her sleepy eyes.

“What are you doing here Leo? It’s-” She turned and looked at her clock.

“I was trying to sleep Lo Lo,” she said slowly as she fell back into her bed.

There’s No Rain in Winter

MISSING

Olivia Hackett

Age: 5

Eyes: Green

Height: 3’5

Fresno, California

Declared missing September Sixth, 2006, 4:06pm. She was last seen exiting The Mountainside School with her sister Rain Hackett, 12 years old. Quotes from her sister say, “She was walking with me until I closed my eyes for a second and then all of a sudden she was gone.” She was not near anyone except for her sister. Reports say that she was not one to play practical jokes like this or to want to run away.

 

I glanced up from my paper to the analog clock that stood on the cobbled adobe wall of the small classroom. 3:46. 14 minutes left. I looked back down at my quiz. One question left.

 

  1. James bought 66 watermelons at the grocery store. He gave half to his friend then and ate ⅙ of the watermelons that were left. How many watermelons does he still have?

 

66 watermelons? What’s wrong with you?” I thought to myself but completed the equations nonetheless. I scrawled down the answer on the page and then turned over my paper. I sat at my desk quietly, surveying a small roly poly’s ascent up the window sill.  Just as he was about to finally reach his destination, a shrill ringing woke me out of my stupor. Ms.Cooper sighed and pulled off her spectacles.

“Alright, everyone hand in your papers, then you’re free to go,” she said absentmindedly. I carefully folded my paper and threw it into the air. The airplane soared, doing a loop de loop through the air before landing smoothly on Ms. Cooper’s desk. Then someone started clapping.  The class joined in, and so I gave bow while Ms. Cooper just rolled her eyes, unfolded it,  and put it in her desk.

I pulled on my coat and backpack, then swirled out of the room to go find Liv so that we could go home.  I walked down the stairs to Liv’s classroom where she’d  just been dismissed. She stood patiently outside the door, where we’d declared our meeting spot. Her bright smile encased in a raincoat that was a few sizes too big greeted me as soon as she saw me.

“Hey Liv! How was school?” I said as I gave her a hug.

“So much fun! We started learning times tables,” she replied, jumping up and down. “And I got an A on my science project!” She held up a piece of construction paper crudely illustrating a butterfly’s life cycle.

I grinned at her and said, “That’s great! Now c’mon, let’s get home, Mom’s waiting.” I tugged her hand and she started skipping next to me across the hallway. As we came to the wooden doors that led outside the school, I pulled out mom’s dark blue umbrella; mine wasn’t big enough for the both of us. I opened my umbrella after I pushed through doors, you know, just in case. I held it over our heads as the angry drops of water hit the ground incessantly, the air smelling that roasted kind of smell that always comes with rain.

I closed my eyes blissfully for a moment, taking in the perfect weather. Other people like sunshine, the beach and the water, others the coldness of the snow, making angels and fighting with friends. But I will never enjoy anything better than a good pour. And it’s not just because my name’s Rain!

Opening my eyes, I looked beside me to find Liv. But she wasn’t there. “It’s alright, she’s probably just run ahead.” I thought. But as I looked around, Liv was nowhere to be seen.

“Liv? Liv!” I yelled out. “She’s just hiding, playing a game with me.” I looked around the playground for her, but she wasn’t anywhere. She couldn’t have disappeared…could she? I  started to grow panicked. “LIV! WHERE ARE YOU? COME OUT! COME ON LIV, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW! LIV!” I looked everywhere, checked everywhere 5 times. No Liv. “Where is she?!” I thought. I ran back inside of the school desperately.

I ran until I came to the office where I said breathlessly to the secretary “My sister’s missing.”

“Calm down Ms. Hackett — are you sure that she’s gone?”

“I’ve looked everywhere! I can’t find her!” My big eyes pleaded for her to me believe me.

“Okay, okay. Tell me what’s happened.” She sat me down in a chair and looked at me sympathetically.

“A-alright,” I began, forcing my voice to steady. “We were leaving the school because we were about to walk home, when I closed my eyes for a second and she was gone. I looked everywhere — but I couldn’t find her.”

I choked out a sob and she said, “There there, we’ll find her, don’t you worry. Stay here for a second, okay?” I nodded sorrowfully and watched her enter the principal’s office. She said a few words to Mr. Adams, and he nodded, then dialed a number on the phone and starting saying something when the secretary returned.

“Okay, Mr. Adam’s calling your mom. She’ll come pick you up, okay?”

“But what about the police?” I asked with a sniffle. “Don’t they ought to know? She patted me and said, “Don’t worry, we’ve notified the authorities, they’re coming.”

“Okay,” I said and coughed. I waited in silence, watching the secretary and the principal to bustle about. Finally I hear the door crack open — my mom. As soon as she sees me she pulls me into a hug.

“Oh Rain — how could this happen?!”  she said tearfully.

“I’ve wondering that myself,” I replied. She pulled away from me looking the saddest and most scared expression I’ve ever seen.

“She’ll come back, I know she will. I hope for god’s sake that she does.” My mom said.

“Let’s go home,” I simply said.

“Okay,” she said. She turned around to the secretary and said, “Thank you so much for helping — this kind of thing is tough.”

“Oh it’s no problem. I’m so sorry for your loss — er — no, but I know that we’ll find her. “

“Sorry for your loss? She’s not dead… I hope…” I thought. She smiled and we went through the door. I found Mom’s hand and I clung to it, my clammy fingers to hers. Our walk home was in silence, each contemplating our own despair, tears burning our faces.

***

Later that night I started researching kidnapping. My mouth gaped as I read about some of the things that had happened to unsuspecting people. All I could do was hope that Liv would be okay. If she wasn’t, I didn’t know what I’d do to myself. The rest of the evening rested in silence throughout dinner. I couldn’t help but glance over to the chair where Liv always sat, start to say something, only to realize she wasn’t there. I slept fitfully, dreaming of horrible things happening to Liv. I went to school in a despicably miserable state, my mom at a loss for words with no Liv to tell to brush her teeth and not forget her lunch.

At school I picked up my books without another glance. But when I returned to put them back before lunch, I saw something peculiar… a note. I wondered what that could be from, since I usually kept my locker pretty tidy. It was fancy paper, the kind that’s used for wedding invitations. I put down my books and picked up the note and squinted at the neatly scrawled words .

Dear Ms.Hackett,

We have Olivia. If you ever want to see her again, follow the clues. Drop it in locker 168. Oh, and if you tell your parents or the police, we won’t hesitate to kill her.

Here’s your first clue.

And then nothing. Nothing except the one last clue — a dot, blood-red. I put my finger on it — still wet. The note was new. I was smart enough to guess it was Olivia’s — unless it wasn’t. This all could just be a red herring as they say. But who knew that Olivia was gone? I counted on my fingers — Mom knew, so did Mr. Cooper and the secretary. And then whoever on the police force. Who could’ve done this?

And then there was the question of what the musical note meant. I knew I should remember what those are called, since I did learn it. But that was in 3rd grade! I pulled out my phone and quickly thumbed in “curly musical note with line through it” on Google and pressed send.  A Wikipedia article titled “List of Musical Notes” appeared. I tapped it, and up came the page. I scrolled through all the lines until there, the first one under clefs. Next to the picture read the title, G-Clef.

Like I knew what that meant. I kept on thinking about what it could mean as I sat down at lunch. I could barely pay attention to my friends talking about an anime show, my favorite one. And suddenly I didn’t feel quite as sorrowful about Olivia’s kidnapping with this new development. I was, as they say in mystery novels, hot on the trail.

***

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of tests and homework, which I worked diligently at so that I could spend the rest of the day trying to figure out the clue. When the final bell finally rang, I bolted from my seat before anyone could stop me.

As soon as I got to my locker to pick up my stuff I called my mom to tell her I’d be staying late at school for clubs. My mind was tearing myself apart about whether I should tell her what I was actually doing. But what if doing so got Liv killed?

She agreed to me staying but told me, “Take care. I couldn’t handle you disappearing as well…”

As I shut my locker closed I realized I needed somewhere to think. I finally decided the best place to work this out would be the tables next to playground (where Lily went missing).

As I made my way outside all I could think about was “G-clef, G-clef, G-clef, what does it mean?” Scanning my eyes over the playground I tried to think if there was anyway she could still be hidden there, just waiting to pop up and say “Gotcha!” but of course that couldn’t happen. She had been kidnapped for whatever reason, and it was my job to find her.

I absentmindedly sat down at the plastic blue table. I set down my backpack and pulled out my laptop, suddenly realizing there was another kid sitting across from me.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I’ll sit over –” I started to say, standing up.

“No, no, it’s alright.”

I sat back down slowly, realizing that this kid was in my grade. Sam, the shy kid who played the guitar really well. I had a crush on him back in 5th grade, but I was over him now. He’d always been nice to me but we’d never really been friends.

“Um,” he said quietly, “I heard about your sister. I’m sorry.”

My throat became dry as I looked into his dark brown eyes. “I… it’s okay. We’re, we’re going to find her, I know it.” But really my mind was saying Yeah, unless this psycho killer doesn’t get to her before I figure out what music scales mean!

An idea suddenly hit me.“Wait. Sam…you’re good at guitar right?”

“Uh… yeah, I guess,” he said modestly, turning his glasses-covered eyes away from me. “Been playing since I was six.”

“Um, do you think… you could tell me what this means?” I said, rummaging for the incriminating note in my bag and showing it to him.

“Yeah, that’s a treble clef, less commonly a G-clef. In sheet music, depending on what instrument you’re playing, it tells you what octave to play the notes in a higher or a lower octave.”

“Okay… thanks for the help, Sam,” I said, excited, opening my laptop.

“Wait a second… what did the rest of that note say?” he said worryingly, trying to take it from my hands.

“Um… nothing!” I replied nervously, trying to stuff it in my pocket, but he snatched it before I had the chance.

“…We won’t hesitate to kill her!” he read shrilly as I tried to pry it from his hands. “Rain, you’ve got to tell someone! The police, a teacher… someone!” he cried out.

“Be a little louder why don’t you? Didn’t you read the note? They’ll kill her if I do! These clues are the only way I can find her.”

Sam sighed defeatedly. “Fine. But only if you let me help you,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“What!?” I whisper-shouted. “Nope. Out of the question. Liv might be dead just because I told you! There is no way you are getting involved,” I said firmly.

“Look, I’m good at puzzle solving! I’ll help you! For example, I’ve already figured out that we need to get the key for Room G and take down the three inspiration posters to get the next clue.”

I stood there shell-shocked for a moment before replying quietly, “H-how d’you suppose you figured that out?”

Sam shyly turned his head away. “Oh, well, y’know I figured, I take Latin and clef means key, so I thought Room G at school… and then I realized treble means threefold and what three things is Ms. Giamatti constantly going on about? Our three inspirations,” he replied modestly.

“W-well then,” I replied, surprised at his intellect. “We should probably go do that.”

***

Sam and I wandered the halls together trying to find the janitor (the only person in the whole school who has all the keys) until we finally walked into the office, spotting him at his desk. He was a large man with scarily dark eyes and a wispy mustache, hunched over devouring a sandwich. A plaque in front of him indicated his name was Mr. Ruiz.

“Mr. Ruiz?” I said quietly as we approached his desk. Still focused on ferociously eating his sandwich he took no notice of us. “Mr. Ruiz?” I said a bit louder. Finally he stopped chewing his sandwich and looked up at the pair of us.

“What do you kids want?” he grunted in a suspicious manner. “If you need keys for a prank m’ not helping you, *** kids almost got me fired…” he trailed off in his husky voice.

“No no, nothing like that,” I replied as nicely as I could. “I just… I… well, I um…” I sputtered. Mr. Ruiz glared at me angrily while eyeing his sandwich.

“She thinks she forgot her laptop in Room G. We were wondering if you could unlock it for us? We’d be really grateful.” Sam said smoothly from behind me. Mr. Ruiz grunted and started standing up, mumbling, “*** kids, was on my lunch break, never should have taken this job…” quietly under his breath.

When we finally arrived at Room G on the other side of the school I bounced impatiently on the balls of my feet, waiting for him to open the door already. He unlocked it so slowly it felt like a million years had gone by once we finally stepped into the music room. Me and Sam both a mixture of excited and very nervous walked over to the posters on the wall of Beethoven, Franz Liszt, and Mozart each looking pretentious and pompous in their stance.

As quietly as I could, trying not to alert the hungry janitor outside, I ripped the bottom of the posters off the wall, and out fell a small piece of parchment paper. I quickly stuck the poster back on at hopefully the right angle while Sam picked up the paper. We rushed out the door, janitor only looking a bit suspicious.

“Sorry for wasting your time,” I said quickly. “It wasn’t in there, um, you can go back to your lunch now!” We rushed away from the scene, probably looking like the most suspicious a pair of people can be without having a burglar mask or a gun. We walked quickly back outside to our blue table while Sam anxiously opened the note. This is what it said:

Well done Ms. Hackett. We did not expect you to solve our puzzle quite so fast. But, well, we did not expect your little friend either. Tell no one else or you will bid your sister adieu.                 

Here is your next clue :

Stendhal Syndrome

 

Again, it was only accompanied with one drop of blood. The strange thing, however, about the note was the words. As I ran my hand across the cursive I could tell it was penned by hand, perhaps with a fountain pen. However I could still feel the wet printer ink from the strange clue’s font. Why go through the trouble of printing the words on the paper and writing it?

“Stendhal syndrome… I’ve never heard of that…” Sam mumbled over his shoulder. Still uneasy about the strangeness of the note, he dismissed it.

“Me neither. We should–” I started to reply before feeling a vibrating against leg. I pulled out my  phone out of my pocket, and sure enough it was my mom calling.

“Dang,” I muttered under my breath. An hour had gone fast. “We’ll finish this later. I have to go home, or my mom will freak,” I said to Sam, folding the paper and stuffing it in my pocket.

“Alright. Do you have a Skype? I’ll look up Stendhal’s Syndrome and text you if I find anything,” Sam said, both of us starting to set off down the paved road.

“Okay,” I intoned and wrote down my name in his contacts. “I’ve really got to go, I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” he responded absentmindedly. We both started setting off but a few second later somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw Sam standing there under the cloudy sky, peering up at me gravely. “You know Rain, this is serious. This isn’t just some puzzle game. We’re not just having fun. Someone’s life is at stake.” I looked at him and saw how determined he was, and I knew I had made the right choice in letting him help me.

“I know. This is my sister that’s at stake, and we’re getting to the bottom of it.”

 

***

 

7:06 9/7/06 starsandguitars: heyyyy its sam. i found some stuff on stendhal’s syndrome. u might want 2 check it out. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stendhal_syndrome

 

7:09 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: Whoa that’s some weird stuff. PS why is starsandguitars your name. I mean I get the guitars part but

 

7:10 9/7/06 starsandguitars: idk i like stars!! gee so judgy. when urs is rainthecupcake

 

7:10 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: I WAS 6 YEARS OLD. MISTAKES. WERE. MADE.

 

7:11 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: Anyways about this Stendhal guy. Who was he?? Maybe he’s somehow part of the answer.

 

7:13 9/7/06 starsandguitars: hmm he was a french writer dude in the 19th century. stendhal is only his pen name tho. he’s written a bunch of stuff, novellas and biographies…but he’s best known for Le Rouge et le Noir and La Chartreuse de Parme.

 

7:15 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: Doesn’t sound like anything I’ve read. Send me an excerpt maybe?

 

7:16 9/7/06 starsandguitars: “Love born in the brain is more spirited, doubtless, than true love, but it has only flashes of enthusiasm; it knows itself too well, it criticizes itself incessantly; so far from banishing thought, it is itself reared only upon a structure of thought.”

 

7:18 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: That can’t be it. What is the actual syndrome tho?

 

7:19 9/7/06 starsandguitars: its like this thing that sometimes happens when u go and see famously amazing art, some people actually faint bc they are so amazed. lol

 

7:19 9/7/06 starsandguitars: it mostly happens in florence, italy cus the statue of david as well as like the uffizi gallery cus it has lots of famous michelangelo type art

 

7:20 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: Weird. I wonder if the clue has to do w/ art or italy or something.

 

7:21 9/7/06 starsandguitars: i wonder…no i bet not

 

7:21 9/7/06 rainthecupcake: oh no i gotta talk to u later im eating dinner w/ my parents. try to think of connections k? ttyl

 

7:21 9/7/06 starsandguitars: oh ok bye…

 

***

“Rain! Get off your computer for once and come eat dinner!” my mom hollered at me just as I finished tapping out my last message to Sam.

“I’m coooooooming!” I replied. “Gee, can’t you be patient?” I said jokingly at my mom as I walked into the dining room. My mom rolled her eyes and finishing putting her classic arrabiata pasta with turkey onto her plate. My stomach grumbled as the smell wafted up at me.

“Smells so good,” I said as I sat down at the table, across from my mom, the spot next to me eerily empty.

“Thanks sweetie. I just hope my worry hasn’t gotten into it….” she said distantly. My mom thinks that her emotions seep into her cooking, and she’s kinda right. In our house you can usually tell if my mom is having a bad day by her chicken.

I took the first bite of the pasta, and though it was amazingly spicy and good, there was something lacking, something that could only be discerned by a mom-cooking-aficionado such as I.

“It’s really good,” I assured my mom through a mouthful of pasta who was chewing with a sadness to her eyes.

“Yeah…” she answered, looking at the window. Suddenly she turned her head and stared at me pleadingly with her large eyes gazing into mine. “If you knew where she was, you would tell me right? This isn’t some elaborate prank you two are pulling?” I looked at her and saw the intense worry in her eyes.

“Number one: I promise I would tell you if I knew. Number two: I wish I could say it was, but it’s not. She’s missing.” I said, the guilt creeping into my stomach like a bloodsucking parasite.

My mom sighed. “I almost wanted you to say yes. But of course you wouldn’t. I’m so sorry for doubting you,” she said sincerely as she gave me a hug over the table. It felt like the guilt was consuming my body. Chewing it inside out with its corroding, insidious black slime, making my throat go dry.  “I love you so much. Please don’t ever missing. I don’t think I could ever go without both of munchkins,” she begged of me.

“I promise I never will,” I barely squeaked out before rushing to go clean my plate.

 

To be continued…

The Story of Scaricia

It was a stormy night on the island of Scaricia in the year of 4027. This island was the only surviving land on Earth since all the other countries had sunk due to global warming. It has a land area of about 2,450 square kilometers but continues growing as they are making new land off the sand and dirt on the seabed. Scaricia has a population of almost 30 million. It used to be an uninhabited island controlled by the People’s Republic of China, but is now a safe haven for all people across the world, although the only inhabits are some of the major ethnicities of the world, such as Chinese, Indian, Russian, American, French, German, British, Polish, Portuguese, and Spanish. Most of the other ethnicities have escaped onto their navy ships, for example, a Battleship or an Aircraft carrier where the people have to fish for food and drink soup for water. Others, sadly, didn’t escape and drowned in the powerful ocean. Thankfully the average elevation of the island is about 5,000 meters above sea level and will most likely not sink for a long time. Also, the population has shrunk extremely as well from around nine billion people to only around 30 million, probably more than 99%.

This island is generally peaceful and everyone mostly gets along with each other. Everyone keeps their own culture and speaks their own language at home but speaks the major languages outside. These major languages are Chinese and English. Even though the island is peaceful, the government still requires everyone to serve in the military for at least four years and encourages people to try to get into the police department. Its government is democratic and allows every ethnicity to be in the government and government affairs.

The military of Scaricia is also quite strong even though there is no military to compete with, with about five million troops that are ready for combat at all times. An extra one million people help in the factories making ammunition, such as first aid packs, equipment, etc… Although the military is strong, people live quite peacefully as no one really breaks the rules unless they want to face extreme treatment. Technology is also quite high. They have created vehicles which can turn invisible and use lasers to destroy other objects. The biggest invention they have created so far was the force field. This was mainly created just to defend earth from aliens, if they even decide to conquer the 2,450 land areas on earth.

The space program is also really high tech. They have already set foot on Mars and have an office for astronauts on the Moon and Mars. They are currently planning to colonize and build living spaces for humans on the Moon and Mars.

 

⃝⃝⃝

 

“BREAKING NEWS!! Mars has just been invaded by aliens. We suggest every civilian take cover,” I heard from my bedroom. At first, everyone was normal and no one was actually panicking. Mom was just cooking and as usual Dad was in the computer room working from home. No one seemed to be paying attention to any of this “nonsense” quoted by my mom. People thought they were just doing some kind of military drill and wasn’t expecting any form of life to be able to defeat them. Everything seemed to be going normally. People going to work, minding their own business. The alarm on the TV was still going off and finally, soldiers came in with anti-aircraft guns, anti-tank guns and even tanks although I thought that would be of no use to us since we have a force field surrounding us. I actually kind of got scared since I believed in all of that alien stuff but I was also a little bit scared thinking aliens are more high tech than us.

Suddenly, alien escape pods flew out from the sky and turned into military aircraft and began bombing us. I looked out the window and people were just staring in the sky hoping that the force field would protect us. Then, our force field began to disintegrate. Everyone started screaming and panicking as soldiers began firing and I was also thinking, What are we gonna do??! Both my parents have finally awakened back to their senses and as we were told, we got down into the protected basement hoping to not die. We watched the news from inside the house and it first seemed as if the war was going in our favor.

 

Three years later…

 

The fighting still continued and our manpower was slowly going out and it also seemed as if the aliens had infinite amounts of manpower. Also, according to the CUG News, the aliens have outer space heavily patrolled especially at the wormhole that keeps spawning aliens out. Nightly and daily, the aliens bombed Scaricia and everyone lived underground. We were told not to look outside as we might see very bad sights but I went upstairs onto the first floor and looked through the windows…

All I could see was destruction and chaos. Finally, I felt like I needed to start doing something to help in this war. I took out my telescope and looked at the wormhole, surprisingly there was one place that was not guarded by aliens. At first, I thought this would be of no use to helping in this war since astrophysicists probably have noticed it already but couldn’t do anything since our space military is wayyy too weak…then I thought, “Wait, but the government and people are probably too busy managing the safety of civilians and the war itself that they won’t know about this.” I have to go tell the government immediately. But how can I get there without getting bombed?

It took me at least a day getting there and about an hour to convince soldiers to take me there for “important information,” but I finally made it! I told them the story and they actually believed me! So they began making preparations and named their plan “Operation Downfall.” Just like how France fell 2,090 years ago, just as long as their capital falls, the entire country falls since apparently, no capital = no country. This form of logic applied to the aliens for which now we know how to defeat them.

The Last Moments of a Noble Man

To obtain the quietness of a mournful passing, one must have the grandeur of the coronation of a promising king. The silence is all there needs to be, the warm touch of a predecessor of life, the assurance that a mark is left in continuous progress. Let there be that touch in all that is bonded, for bondage is not to be hidden. The heavy breathing of all that witness, that of the dying, that of the skies, that of the following, it all comes together in unison, a monologue of dreadful sadness, and yet, there is a hearth that lies at the opposite side of the room. The heat is belittled with each passing moment until there is nothing left but ashes, but may these dusty forms represent the eradication of pain, and an epiphany of equilibrium. The silence is a moment of respect that is acquired through the actions in one lifetime. To all that is unsaid, is the greatest triumph of all, formulating an epitaph that feeds on the dripping tears, to make something much greater; a legacy. There is no sound louder than the radiating pound of quietude.

There lies a man flat on a bed, his hackle horrendous, his skin frosty, his eyes a certain color of impassive magnitudes. The hoarseness of his breathing infected the atmosphere with dense tension. For such a small room, with even a blazing fire, the family could not produce enough body heat to thaw the pain from nature’s debt. There is a love to be had, and as great as affection might be, there is a hardship that must be endured. The negative correlations that are lived through the flow of a starry damsel who meanders in the sky, and then takes a good long look at the moon, and realizes that if the beginning of such a beautiful gift known as life can be mysterious, then the embrace of the unknown shall be more inviting to explorers of the edge between reality and fantasy. A paradise is what people crave, an eternity of serenity, though do people deserve such a reward? Those that have silence very much do. Their acts are imprinted in the past, but also an example for the future, and morals, even when altered by different time periods, are never to cease to be. Existence will always gaze down from the patterns in the sky, but nothingness will never have a voice in a universe so filled with pioneering. Such pioneers waltz to the tune they have formed by themselves, as their closest friends and family gaze in amazement and see that the elegance of death is that it is just a phase, much like a benchmark that unlocks a new establishment of freedom.

Some relatives step outside for a break of strain. They see an ensemble of colors that paint their faces with the subtle light of dusk. The variety of colors masterfully splattered on a view most magical for a reality. Some of their fingers tremble and decide to light a cigarette, while others just let the water flow from their eyes, and accept that it is an alleviation from the burden of watching a loved one in pain. None of them interact with each other, for they would not hear each other anyway. The silence could not be talked over; too deafening. The grass grazes their ankles, the wind tickling their ears. They all import this image to a fond memory. An instance of the innocence in youth, a grin, a harmless mischief, a celebrated union. The memories recollect and meet in the span of a few moments, a place taken by the present. To the amazement of the wanderers, they realize that all they craved from the past is put on display at the death of a noble man.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

The man of high honor but no aristocracy traveled to the depths of his memories and remembered believing that what is considered customary is the natural forgetfulness of happy times. Foolish in character, wise in mentality, he was never a boy who sat still, nor a boy who meandered off into abstract proportions. His priorities lay with his mother, a pure nonpareil of justly strictness who made the absolute best pastries in the entire village. A village in Central America where sand sprinkled on the streets, and the breeze of the ocean whipped the faces of the inhabitants. Tall palm trees sprung, blue skies glowed, and clouds enveloped themselves in the warm blueness of serenity. There was a spicery on almost every corner, and on a specific one, the manager installed himself, ready for the day. He pulled a picture out and placed it on his desk every day to remind him of what type of father he was. A father who acted as a jester for the sake of an image of a grinning baby. Both parents devoted themselves to family, both diving in dangers, and both loving every second of it. Any other type of family that considered themselves the epitome of unification were caught with dropped jaws of mediocre conduct when compared to a family such as that of the noble man’s. Were they wealthy? Not too deep in impoverishment, but on the fair side of needing, but not receiving. In fact all that was earned, was given to those who did not know if living the next day was an option. Thrown off by benevolence, the parents came down ill. With money scarce, and a denial of interrupting their alms, proper treatment was but an illusion.

Word of the sudden deaths of the two parents dispersed throughout the village, and so the flood of tears flowed under the gloomy eyes of friends, and rushed into the cracks of the streets. Their ends were not far apart, only a gap of a few days. Though for their son, he crouched on the floor and picked up his mother’s favorite flowers–dahlias. He placed them on both of their caskets and said indistinguishable words. Never were they repeated, until the day of his final gasps.

The orphan had an aunt, a physical replica of his mother, though with ill-founded motives, and abusive teachings. The orphan had more quality time with a belt from auntie’s husband than with the pair during dinner time. There was to be no leisure, and education was said to be a waste of time, a blockade of entering life earlier. The orphan liked to look at books with pictures in them, though he never understood the words on the page. However, even gazing at the books was most punishable in a family of farmers. His mother never had such extremities of either complete neglect, or conscious beating. Mother always rewarded for goodness, and only dare smack him for doing something repulsive. Something against the rules she always made. Father always had a soft spot for his little boy, but he knew there had to be a balance in parenting, a balance that the little boy would never receive.

Quotas were to be met; number of cows milked, berries picked, and fields shredded. No protest was ever uttered by the little boy, until one day he left a scribbly drawing depicting that he was to never return to the household, the household in which he was dying at the very moment.

The boy became a lad through the discovery of starvation and thirst. He joined a group of street kids whose rags matched the dark colors of the ashen streets. They robbed from the central market that placed itself in the grand courtyard in the middle of the village. Even with the exotic name of Plaza de Fortuna, no men nor women of high status mingled in that courtyard. The adolescent knew it was against the lessons his mama had told him, but he was just so hungry. It took him three days to decide to take an apple from an old man who only had a few coins in his jar. The juice of the apple burst in his mouth, the sweetness pouring and flooding over his taste buds. He moaned at the beauty of the savory taste. The skin of the apple melted in his mouth, until the second bite. The second bite tasted of corpses, rotten, spoiled. The apple, so beautiful in its shining redness, was now thrown on the ground, the smack of his mother’s backhand imprinted on his cheek. But now, even his mother was not there to discipline him.

A homeless man stood at a corner of a collapsed church, a gold cross hanging on his neck, a single shoe on his right foot, and a beard that stretched to the base of his neck. Though the man had the eyes of a youthful being, his wrinkles made him look old and worn. He was playing a melodic tune with his embarrassingly scratched guitar, and tapping his shoe with the rhythm. Like the merchant, nothing but a few coins in a jar. The boy, without even greeting the beggar, approached the old man, placed the apple next to the jar, and decided to simply sing at the melody. It was not for a moment of glorious spectacle, nor was it for an income. It just seemed comforting to have some music with an accompaniment of vocals. The man did not protest, and so the strings of the guitar danced with the pitches of the boy’s singing. It lasted from the morning all the way to midnight, with no meal in between. The jar had filled up to a decent value of a loaf of bread to split between the two. What was thought as a one-time occurrence, became a daily occupation, and everyday the two would split a loaf of bread and even add some jam, without even a conversation spoken. The only language they needed was that of their music. There was one day where the boy purposefully tripped on the sidewalk near their usual music spot. The scrape against the rocky pavement left a bright red bruise with a thick smudge of dirt mixing with his weary skin. The old man helped the boy up, tore a strip of his sleeve, and patched him up with that. The old man told the boy not to be so clumsy, but it ended in a brief gaze of bondage between the two. However, once again, few words were exchanged.

After several months of trudging, though rather enjoying the frustration, the old man bought a book with the title Blueberries for Sal printed with large font on the cover. The boy told the man he did not know how to read. The old man said that he would teach him, though he admitted he knew little as well. They worked during the day, and read during the night. The words, the sentences, the pictures, it all became an obsession to the boy. With permission from the old man, the boy bought more books. Each night became an infuriating passage of perseverance, understanding what each word meant, what the story wanted to say.

It led to one night where the boy finally spoke to the man under rags.

“Where are your parents?” said the young boy.

The old man did not look at the child. “Far and happy,” he said. “What about you? I assume you ran away. Why?”

The little boy sighed but did not shed a tear. “I would never run away. But I would say they’re far and happy.”

The old man regretted his question. His relation to the young boy still disoriented his manners towards him.

The boy knew the silence in between was for that very reason of mixed communication. He did not feel offended, for he was the one who commenced the conversation. “Do you have any kids?” asked the boy. His curiosity was greater than his proper manners.

The old man leaned on his elbow, believing he had not heard correctly. “What?”

“Do you have any children? Like the bears in Little Red Riding Hood. The bears have a smaller bear. He’s their child. Do you have a smaller version of you?”

The old man looked away and sighed. “Go back to sleep,” He felt his closure to the topic was rude on his part, and added, “Have a good night.”

“You too, papa.” The man did not hear the last word, but they both slept soundly that night.

The old man coughed horrendously and in colossal intervals. His strength was weakening, his motivation was deteriorating, his eyes were fading. The little boy knew what was happening to the old man, for he had seen it twice before, and it was about to be three times too many. The old man passed away within the spectrum of a few days. No proper funeral, no relatives, just the little boy. He decided to cry only after the man’s death, because for a man so dear, the moment belonged solely to him. The boy trudged through the sadness and thanked the heavens that he had the opportunity of having two great fathers. The old man was buried in a rotten field, with an unpolished cross sticking from the ground. It read in carved letters, To the Father Who Was Kind Enough to Give Me Blueberries.

———————————————————————————————————————

With the noble man’s memories slipping away, he decided it too painful to keep looking there, and instead focus on the people that stood near his bed. He hated the house for all its malice, but the people that were in it–each had a light inside of them that gazed into the noble man’s heart, and built a connection. All that was needed to say farewell was received, but not spoken. The relatives that stepped outside resumed their positions in the room, standing tall as if to prove that the next generations of the family would be in good hands.

The noble man’s eyes scanned the room, his neck creaking, his bones snapping, his muscles tingling. He met the eyes of his daughter, a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and a stance that shouted promise. Her two children, teenage twins with blue eyes and bright hair also had the same stance, though their eyes were watery and red. The noble man found his son, a man with the eyes and mouth of his mother and the distinguishable nose of his father. It reminded the noble man of his own parents, a lovely pair they were, and lovely he indeed saw in the room. The noble man’s grandchildren, Sophia, Maria, Thomas, Daniel, Fernando, and the littlest one, Paula, all sat at the edge of the creaky bed. The noble man smiled at them, and he saw a little glow behind their soaked cheeks. Cousins, nephews, nieces, friends, neighbors, they all came with pretty faces and ugly expressions. The thought saddened the dying man, but he soon grinned as much as he could, because it was the first time in a long time that all these faces were in one room.

The male nurse nodded his head to the noble man’s children. The dying man closed his eyes slowly, he tilted his head back and listened to the sound of paper unfolding and the sweet voice of his daughter break the silence–the words spoken, the same words he had said to his own parents and the old guitarist: “I thank you, not just for being a figure for the family, but for being the person that everyone needs. It is tragic that you are passing, but be assured that your legacy of goodness will not end here. All is good, because now, we will always be together, in life, in death, and beyond.”

The Inner Souls of Fog Bank

It is Fire Season in Fog Bank, Scotland, and all that is green turns to ebony. Nothing is the same, and it never will be. The tree outside my ivory window will soon be burned, and the targets that I use to shoot my arrows will be gone. All that work: burned. The fireplace in my room is filled with a scowling fire. Bigger than the moon and stronger than the sun. I try to tell myself that everything will be all right, but it never works. There is always something burning, burning the hearts of the people of Fog Bank.

Fire Season in Ireland is nothing like the Fire Season in Fog Bank. Fire Season in Paris is nothing like Fire Season in Fog Bank. Fire Season anywhere else in Scotland is nothing like Fire Season in Fog Bank. Fog Bank is special. My kind of special.

I would kindly like to introduce myself. My name is Matilda Heindman, President of the HCC (the Horse Caregiver Club). In my club, we take care of the horses of Fog Bank. Should I say “we”? No. I need to say “I.” You see, I have no other members of the HCC club. I do all the work. Although, I do get all the money from the customers who need me to take care of their horses. #BONUS. I love horses. They seem to relieve me from all the pain of Fire Season.

 

(Next Morning, 5:45 a.m.)

I grab my cloak. I grab my combat boots. I grab my knife. I race out of my bedroom and run down four flights of stairs. I go into the stable and grab the first horse I see. My breath is as cold as the night. My skin is turning blue, but I don’t care. I ride this beast deep into the surrounding forest. The branches are starting to cut into my skin. It burns, but doesn’t. The crisp wind is making my cuts shed blood. I begin to faint. I fall off the horse. I can’t see the light of day anymore.

 

(Waking Up)

“Miss? Are you okay?”

All I can see is a dark figure. All I can feel is my back aching. I must have fallen hard.

“No, I seem to have fallen off this horse,” I say.

“Miss. I believe I should take you to the doctor. Or have the doctor come to you,” the man says.

As my vision clears, I see someone who I have never seen before. Someone magical. He looks like the Sandman, but that can’t be true. I look at him closely, but this time I saw fire, ice, earth, and water. Mother Nature? Father Nature? Weird. Plain weird.

“Forget about a doctor. Please take me back home this instant!” I yell.

“Okay, Miss. I will take you home before you explode!” the man says.

Suddenly, I am asleep and when I wake up, I am in my room. I look in the mirror at myself and all my cuts have disappeared. The “mystery man” is magical!

“Okay, Matilda. Don’t freak out. I know that all of your cuts magically disappeared suddenly. All you have to do is breathe and get a good night’s sleep,” I say to myself.

I am out for a long time. I believe I have been lying on the ground for about 15 hours. It is exactly 8:02. My sister’s bedtime. I don’t care. I have had a rough day of sleeping — I guess. I will ride my horse this time to the same part of the forest. I need to find the magical man –maybe he can save fog bank from Fire Season. Or maybe he can save myself from my own inner Fire Season.

 

(5:45 a.m.)

“Hello, Zeppelin. How are you? I missed you. Come on. I have another mission to take you on!” I say, cheerfully.

Zeppelin stares at me. He knows that I am never up this early. He knows me and I know him. We are a team. He was my very first horse that I got. I raised him when I was three years old with my Papa. He taught me how to walk with his strong muzzle.

I mount Zeppelin and ride him into the ebony forest. When we get to the spot, I notice the Man. He is meditating.

“Hello, Man. I want to know who you are, and what you did to my cuts,” I say, with demand in my tone.

“Sit, child,” the man says.

“I am not a child. I am 13,” I growl.

“Okay, 13,” the man says.

“My name is Matilda,” I say, very annoyed.

“Okay, Matilda. Why were you out of your house so early?” the man says.

“I was searching for the Emmet Crest. If you place it on a certain stone, it can cure any kind of Fire Season,” I say.

“I understand. You are in search of the relief of the inner and outer pain of Fire Season.” The man knows.

I break out into tears. The man hugs me. I feel a warm sensation of comfort and peace within me.

The man is short and stubby with a big beer belly. His hair is made out of gold dust. His eyes are as copper as a penny and sparkle like a shooting star. He is wearing a cloak with one side representing winter, spring, summer, and fall. I need to know who he is!

“Man, who are you?” I say.

“Why, I am Father Nature. You can also call me Bubba,” Bubba says.

“Well, Bubba. Were you summoned here to save Fog Bank from Fire Season? This is a big task… can you work that much magic?”

“Your questions will be answered in time,” says Bubba, with a wink. “You need to return home now.”

“By the way, thank you for bringing some serenity into my life,” I say.

“I will meet you tomorrow right here and I will take you to the happiest place on Earth: Huckleberry Farm,” Bubba says.

“Okay, bye!” I say, as I ride away on Zeppelin, back to my home.

 

(Next Day: 12:30 p.m.)

Today is the day that my best friend Amanda Hart comes into town. Today is the day that we will have a lemonade stand and end up drinking all the lemonade. Today is the day that we will race around the block calling out our lemonade cheer. I am so excited. It feels like I can’t even breathe. I know that I have to go to Huckleberry Farm, but I will do that later. No big deal!

“Amanda! Omg! I haven’t seen you in forever! How is your social life going?” I say, cheerfully.

“Life is going amazing! Tomorrow I am going to the lake and people say that there are a bunch of water slides!” Amanda says.

“Did you bring your horse, Apple?” I ask.

“Yes I did, but I changed her name to Rose. Gwyneth Paltrow stole the name Apple for her daughter. Ugh!” Amanda laughs.

“Talk about it!” I say.

Amanda and I start walking over to my house where we eat blueberry pie and drink lemonade. We dance in the peaceful meadows and ride our horses into the lake. We splash in the dancing waters, and end up laughing ourselves to sleep. It is the very best day of my life.

“I will see you next year, Miss Matilda,” Amanda says.

“Wait, why are you leaving so early? It is 7:30 a.m.” I say, with a look of puzzlement on my face.

“I just have to go. I will write you, okay?” Amanda says.

“Why? Tell me why Amanda! What is your problem?” I say, acting angry.

“Just leave me alone. Now. And by the way, here is your friendship bracelet,” Amanda yells, as she storms away with thunder in her eyes.

Here we go again. Another fire. Burning my heart and Amanda’s. I am so mad. I am so mad! I shall run my horse deep into the forest. I don’t need Amanda… wait. I don’t need a best friend.

After I get to “the spot,” I look around. No sign of Father Nature, or as I guess he likes to be called, Bubba. No sign at all. All of a sudden, he appears.

“Hello, 13. You didn’t come yesterday,” Bubba says.

“Very funny, Bubba. What do you mean, I didn’t come?” I say.

“Remember? Huckleberry Farm?” Bubba asks.

“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was so caught up with Amanda that I didn’t think about our meeting. I am so sorry. Please forgive me,” I say, with a sad look in my eyes.

“Amanda wasn’t your doing. She was mine,” confesses Bubba. “I put a spell on her so she would not make the mistake of convincing you to move where she lives. You need to save Fog Bank from Fire Season…. fast. The Emmet’s Crest doesn’t have a lot of magic left. If you don’t find it soon, you will never save Fog Bank or its inner souls from Fire Season.”

I say goodbye to Father Nature, and mount Zeppelin as quickly as possible. I ride my horse into the wild forest and begin my journey to find the Crest. Today is not the day to mess around with friends. Today is the day to save my town.

You see, I heard that the Emmet’s Crest is not that far away from my town.

“Wow, what’s this?” I say, as I come across a shimmering tree.

I look inside and I see a miniature chair with silver lining and a really tiny book. I open up the book and see words written in cursive black ink. Who wrote this?! Thankfully, I notice a wooden magnifying glass. I read the tiny manuscript and it says that the Emmet’s Crest awaits right here…. IN THIS CHAIR. “I don’t see any Emmet’s Crest,” I say aloud. I keep reading. It still says that it lies IN THIS CHAIR. “I think this book is wrong. It is getting late. I will just camp out in this tree. Maybe, I will find more clues to where the Emmet’s Crest really is.”

 

(The Next Morning)

I start to wake up to the sounds of crackling and the feeling of warmth. I smell something burning. My eyes start to open to a city of orange.

“Fire!!!” I yell with all my might.

I run and jump out of the tree and try to untangle Zeppelin from the branch. We are surrounded by a fire. I jump on his back and tell him to go full speed ahead, straight into the fire. If we can’t go around it, then we have to go through it. Zeppelin races up the hill and into an old barn. We both breathe hard with panic.

“It’s okay, boy. It’s okay. We will have to head towards the ocean and bring water back to shore. We will use the buckets in this old barn,” I tell him in a comforting tone.

I ride him out to shore and take the buckets. After we fill them all with salt water, I ride him back out to the roaring fire. Then, we design a catapult to launch the buckets of water into the fire.

“Watch out Zeppelin! 3, 2, 1!” I say, as I launched the cold crisp water into this evil spirit.

The townspeople watch with horror painted on their faces. One girl and a horse with no armor are jumping into fire, launching 200-pound buckets of water. They are risking their own lives, in place of the town risking theirs. But the Emmet’s Crest is still out there.

Even though the fire is out, the real fire out there is still burning the inner souls of Fog Bank.

The Fight for Life and School

My mother’s dying and it feels as if I’m going with her. I remember the night she came home with tears in her eyes. She sat all of us down and broke the news to us. She had cancer. My father stared at her with tears and my sister walked away. I stayed there for my mother’s sake. Her seeing Rosie walk away hurt her more than the cancer ever would. The next day we took her to the hospital–all of us but Rosie who refused to look at Mom, let alone be in the same room as her. Ever since then, mom has been in and out of the hospital.

My pen’s ink is just starting to disappear. I shake my pen once more, hoping that it will bear with me and work a little while longer. As soon as I begin the next sentence, the pen gives up. Frustrated and angry, I throw the pen across the room.

The front door opens. I look over and see dad all wet in a tan trench coat. He sets down his black worn out briefcase by the door and leaves his keys on the small table next to the door. He walks through the hallway. As soon as he enters the kitchen, I know he’s had a bad day. I keep to myself and go to pick up my old pen and to get a new one. I sit back down and slouch over my work.

Dad sighs and grips the counter’s edge. He stays there for a moment before turning and walking to the sink. The water gushes and cascades down his hands. He turns off the water and quickly dries his hands on the towel that rests on the oven handle. He returns to his old position at the counter.

“Have you and Rosie eaten yet?” He asks quietly. I look up for a moment from my work. Dad’s not looking at me. He’s looking at the couch that still has mom’s old blanket on it from yesterday. I look back down and don’t say a word.

“All right then. I’m going to go to bed. If you want to visit your mother in the morning, be up by 6:45,” he says before stalking away. Rosie appears from the stairs and slides past dad as he doesn’t move.

“Sure, let’s not talk about the giant elephant in the house,” she says, walking over to the fridge and pulling out the orange juice. I ignore her and continue to work. She takes a sip and stares at me through all that black makeup.

“You haven’t said anything all day. What’s up?” She asks, sitting down on a stool next to me. Her makeup is sloppily done but I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I continue to concentrate. She taps her fingers against the marble. Her silver bracelets clatter with every move she makes. She stares down at her orange juice as if it’s sour.

“I haven’t talked to mom in a year. Dad doesn’t even like to acknowledge that I’m here. I can’t lose you too, Man,” she says. She touches my shoulder delicately like I would break if she put all her weight on me. I take a breath and look at her. She has a tear running down her cheek, making some of her makeup go with it.

“You’re ruining your makeup,” I say. She wipes her tear away and sniffles.

“Screw my makeup. Manon, you can’t disappear. Not now. Okay?” She says. I nod and fiddle around with my pen. Rosie returns to her look of disgust.

“Cool. I’ll see you later,” She says, grabbing her cup and walking away, mumbling something about sensitivity. I turn around on my stool and stare at the living room couch. Just yesterday mom was sitting there, laughing at something on the TV. Today she’s back in the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I’m up at 6:00 and in the shower by 6:15. I race down the stairs and walk into the kitchen where my laptop and phone sit. I shove them into my bag and grab a banana from the bowl in the middle of the island. I sit down and grab a piece of yellow paper and a pen.

Dad and I have gone to see Mom. We will be back later. Don’t do anything dumb. -Manon

I slide the paper into the middle of the island. Dad walks down the hallway, towards the kitchen. His hair glistens with water. He opens the cabinet and pulls out a mug. He begins to make some coffee.

I look away from him and busy myself with getting everything that I need for today. Today is a big day for mom and me. She has her first day at her new support group and I have to send in my applications for college.

I need to get out of this house. There’s nothing here for me anymore.

Dad takes his mug that has steam coming out and walks towards the front door. He grabs his keys and his briefcase before opening the door. He turns to wait for me.

I sling my bag over my shoulder and walk towards the door. I duck under dad’s arm and he shuts the door behind him. He and I get in the car. The engine turns over and we slowly drive away from the house.

I hold onto Mom’s arm and she holds onto mine. We slowly walk down the halls of the hospital. She’s talking to me about all the nurses and their kids. She gets all the hospital drama gossip. We pass an old man in a wheelchair who waves with a smile at Mom.

“Hi Hank. I’ll see you later for some black jack,” she says. I look at her with a smile.

“I didn’t know you were allowed to gamble here,” I say. Mom turns back her attention to me, rather than where she steps.

“Oh, we’re not. Hank and I love to play so we do,” she says. I laugh and lead her to a door that reads Meeting Center. I slowly put my hand on the door’s handle.

“You ready?” I ask. Mom nods and puts her hand on mine.

“Let’s do this,” she says. I push open the door and hold it for her. She wobbles a little but gets the feeling of walking on her own and makes it to a seat. Everyone looks at her as she sits down. Some of the women here have scarves on their heads, while others have a little bit of fuzzy gray hair, and others have a full head of hair. I look over to Mom’s fuzzy head and compare it to the others.

“Welcome!” A perky woman, with a buzzed haircut says. Mom smiles and looks up. She’s still trying to catch her breath.

“Hello,” Mom breathes. I close the door and walk to the corner where a small chair is.

“Is that your daughter?” The perky woman asks. The woman points to me with a big smile. Mom looks at me and nods.

“Yes. I hope it’s alright that she’s here,” mom says. I can tell she doesn’t like the perky woman. The woman nods and stands up. She walks over to mom and stretches out her hand.

“Monica,” she says. Mom grabs her hand and gently shakes it.

“Lori,” mom says. Monica walks over to me. I quickly put my laptop away and stand up. I grab her hand and firmly shake it.

“Manon,” I say. Monica smiles. She walks back to her seat and sits down. As the minutes pass, a few more people walk in. It seems as if they all are admitted to the hospital. Monica pulls out a clipboard with lined paper. She grabs a pink pen with a cancer sign on it. I pull my laptop back out and begin to work. I only begin to listen to what’s going on around me when Mom starts to speak.

“Hi, my name is Lori and I have breast cancer. I’m not concerned about what is happening to me. Okay, maybe I am a little worried, but I’m more worried about my kids. When I first broke the news to them, which must have been the hardest thing ever, my youngest kid, Rosie, walked away and hasn’t spoken to me since. She won’t even be in the same room as me. I’m more scared about losing my kids than losing my life,” She says. Monica nods and sends me a look. I close my laptop and give mom all her attention. A woman with a scarf around her head speaks up.

“Lori, I understand that your children mean the world to you, but there will be no world for them if you don’t try to get through this. If Rosie–Rosie, correct?” The woman asks. Mom nods and crosses her legs. The woman continues, “If Rosie hasn’t talked to you since then, let her come to you. I’m sure she’s scared and confused. Cancer is something that doesn’t just hurt the person it’s in. It also hurts the people around them. Give her time.” The woman finishes with a nod. A few people nod, agreeing with her. My heart begins to thumpity thump thump and my face feels warm.

“I understand that cancer is a terrible thing, but losing my girls is worse. They are my world so with them, there is nothing more important,” She says.

“I’m Cynthia, by the way. Lori, forget about your kids for one second and think about yourself. This is your time. Use it wisely.” I stand abruptly. The chair screeches back and people look at me. I set my laptop in my bag and grab it.

“Excuse me.” I say and walk out. I slam the door shut behind me and angrily sling my bag over my shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

My head rests in my hand while my other hand is busy, clicking the mouse. My eyes sting and my head hurts from staring at the computer screen for too long. I stand up and rub my eyes while walking to the kitchen.

I shuffle past a smiling Rosie who is contently staring at her phone. I open the fridge in search for something to fill my grumbling belly. I shut the fridge when Rosie’s shrill, unattractive laugh bursts the silence. I walk back over and stand at her side. I glance at her phone screen and see the name Dylan.

“Who’s Dylan?” I ask. Rosie looks up at me, her smile completely gone now.

“I dont know, who?” She asks with the tiniest hint of a smile. I look at her with an ‘Oh really?’ look.

“The person you’re texting.” I say, pointing to her phone.

“Look Man, I don’t have any time for your dumb games. I am busy writing a school essay.” She says, pointing to her phone. I glance down and see that she has a writing file.

“I’ll leave you to it,” I say. She nods and returns her attention to her phone. I sigh and walk back over to the fridge.

“Did you eat?” I ask, moving things aside to see what there is to eat.

“I thought we had finished our conversation. No. I haven’t,” She says. My chest tightens at her attitude. I pull out the last of the cold slices of pizza. I put a piece in the microwave and wait for the beeps, signaling that it’s done. When the microwave goes off Rosie looks up.

“Did you make me some?” She asks. I pull out my pizza and put it on the counter.

“No Rosie. It’s not my job to babysit you. You want people to make you dinner, you complain to mom,” I say. She looks taken back. I sigh and put my head down. I put a hand to my forehead while the other rests on my hip.

“I didn’t know that was what you thought.” She says. By now her school work is just a memory.

“I don’t. It just came out. I’m really pressured with finding schools and stuff. Plus Mom’s support group didn’t really appeal to me,” I say. Rosie nods. She hops down off the stool and walks over to the fridge. She pulls out the whole pizza box and throws it down next to my small slice. She shoves me to the side and opens the box.

I grab my plate with my food and walk to the kitchen table. I slide into the booth and have my back to the window. It’s now dark out. After a few minutes Rosie joins me. We quietly eat, not talking or looking at each other.

This house is empty with nothing left but a broken family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair, facing Mom’s hospital bed. She’s smiling at the TV. I gaze out the window and see my high school just across the street. I sigh and focus on my application for college.

“Is my helping with that holiday thing at the elementary important?” I ask. Mom looks up with a cute little smile.

“Huh?” She asks holding back a little laugh. She took some medicine a while ago. It’s now kind of kicking in.

“Never mind,” I say, writing it down.

“I’m on pills,” she says before returning her attention to the screen.

“I know, mom.” I say. I crack my knuckles and decide to take a walk. I tell mom I’ll be back and if she needs anything press the yellow button next to her bed. She’s half listening, half in her wonder world. I close her door, making sure it doesn’t make any noise as Bert, her grumpy, sleepy, next door neighbor constantly yells at me for “Closing the door too loud.”

I wander down the halls glancing at the different patients. Two kids in wheelchairs zoom down the hall laughing. I smile and watch them turn the corner. Two male nurses and one female nurse runs after them. A big rack of blood flashes by me. I wander down a few more halls until I find myself in front of the doors to the lobby. I push one open just as soon as someone else does. We bump into each other and my chest and stomach and neck begin to burn. The smell of freshly brewed coffee climbs up my nose.

“Oh. I’m so sorry,” I say. I look up to see a boy with disheveled hair and a shocked look on his gorgeous face. He has emerald green eyes with a tiny dash of brown in the middle. He has a spare bottom lip and some stubble climbing on his face.

“No, no, no. I’m so sorry. Oh. Uh…here let me help you,” he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me to the side of the hall. He takes the few napkins he had in his hand and begins to rub my shirt. Bold.

“It’s okay,” he looks up at me for a second before returning to his work. I grab his hand when he begins to rub harder.

“Stop. It’s fine. I’ll get it. I think you’re just making it worse anyways,” I say. He has a horrified look on his face.

“I am so sorry. I already said that,” I think that last part was more for him than me. I stick out my hand.

“Manon,” I say. He hesitantly takes it, shocked at my ‘peace offering.’

“I’m Callum. Nice to meet you, Manon,” he shakes my hand firmly. I don’t judge people on their looks, or their attitude, but more on their handshake. If it’s firm they have a personality and can stand up for themselves and don’t need me or anyone else to do it. If they have a weak handshake they have no backbone, no personality, and I instantly shut down on them. But luckily his handshake was firm.

Just what I need. A little firmness and backbone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m leading Mom back through the hallways. Tomorrow I won’t be able to because I have to go back to school.

“Second day of your support group,” I say with no emotion. Mom looks at me and stops walking. She pulls at my arm and asks me to take her to the side of the hallway.

“You don’t have to come because I remember the last time wasn’t your favorite,” she says looking me in the eyes.

“It’s just an opinion that people agreed with, Mom. It’s not like it’s true. Right?” I ask. She quickly looks down, but returns her gaze to me.

“Right,” she squeaks. She begins to walk on her own in her pink bunny slippers. I walk to catch up with her and lead her to the room. She sits down in the chair she was in the last time. I stand at the door and watch her sit down to make sure she’s okay. Someone bumps my shoulder with theirs. I turn to my right to see Callum looking back at me.

“Hello,” he says, looking straight ahead with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi,” I whisper back. He looks at me through the corner of his eyes.

“So this is why you’re here,” he says quietly, “Because you’re sick.” He finishes after pausing. I look at him, startled. I grab his shoulder and turn him towards me.

“No. I’m–I’m not. My mom is,” I say, pointing to her. He looks at me with concern, but also a look of relief.

“I’m glad you’re okay and I’m sorry about your mom’s health. My mom’s sick, too,” he says, pointing towards Monica. I look over in the direction he’s pointing to and see her standing talking with a big smile on her face. Callum puts his hand back in his pocket. Monica looks our way with a big smile that only gets bigger when she sees Callum. But when she sees me her smile lessens. I look away and nod my head. I decide to change the subject.

“How was your coffee?” I jokingly say. He smiles.

“It probably tastes a lot better on you.” He says. His eyes fill with fear. I laugh.

“Not like that it’s just the coffee here is already so bad that spilling it on clothing probably made it better,” He says quickly.

“Hey. I like the coffee here!” I say.

“Then Starbucks must be a jackpot.” He says back with an adorable smile. I scoff and smile back. We lock eyes for a moment until Monica tells everyone to sit down. I now just look around and see that a lot of kids and teenagers are here as well. Are they all sick? They all look healthy. Monica claps her hands together.

“Hello everybody. Today we have brought in your children to see how they feel with all of this, and a way for you all to try and work out any tension. Please take a seat next to your parents.” She says, unclasping her hands and motioning for all of us to do as she said, and sit. I give a tight smile to Callum and go sit next to my mom. She grabs my hand, not looking at me. She’s nervous.

Each parent and kid go around and talk, occasionally crying, occasionally laughing, or occasionally not acknowledging each other at all. My mom begins to speak, but I barely listen because I’m thinking about school and homework, and how I’m going to have to make Dad and Rosie dinner, and how I’m going to have to force Rosie to even get near her backpack.

“And how are you during all of this, Manon?” I look up and tuck away my bitten nails.

“Besides the fact that my mom is dying, and my sister won’t talk to her–let alone be in the same room as my mom, and my dad shutting everything out. Feeling, me, Rosie, Mom and her cancer? I’m fine,” I say with a little too much force. Mom looks at me with tears.

“You feel this way?” She asks. I look at her.

“Mom, you’re gone! I’m making dinner, making Rosie do her homework, and making sure Dad doesn’t do anything…to hurt himself and the…and the family.” I barely get the last part out.

“I am not gone! I never will be! You need to talk to me about this!” She yells. She begins to cough. I go to rub her back but she swats my hand away.

“I’m not gone. I can stop coughing myself,” she hisses.

“Then why does it feel like you are gone?” I squeak. My eyes burn and my throat tightens. A lump forms in my throat and I have to try and clear my throat. If I say one word I know I’ll break down into tears. Monica speaks up.

“That’s all our time,” She whispers. I stand up, along with everyone else. Callum stops me before I leave.

“You okay?” He asks. I nod and make awkward hand gestures.

“Yeah,” I squeak, “I have to go.” I rush out the last part before leading mom back to her room in an awkward silence.

 

The Detective, Jack, and the Grand Central Bombing Attack

The bag was just left unattended by the clock in Grand Central for hours…The police should have caught it. But they didn’t. The officers on duty said they just hadn’t noticed it, while dozens of travelers said that they remembered the briefcase being there even hours before the tragedy. The stories just didn’t add up. The date was December 9, 1954. The best detectives of the decade were brought in, but no one understood how the bomb had gone unnoticed. An explosive in the briefcase had killed seven commuters near the clock in the main concourse. Three had been injured, all of whom remained in critical condition in a nearby hospital. Eyewitness accounts described an explosion of sorts. Despite hundreds of witnesses, nobody interviewed seemed to know who had put the bomb under the clock in Grand Central.

 

Jack Thomas, a tall and lanky boy of 23, was an apprentice to Detective Flynn O’Brien. The detective was a big man with no hair, but had an incredibly large moustache. He was known throughout the city as the best detective around, and Jack, a schoolboy, had only been able to get an apprenticeship because their fathers had been friends as boys. Jack was a smart fellow who had what many called a knack for trouble. Talking to people came easy to him; he had spent much of his childhood convincing people that they should allow him to bend the rules. Although he was becoming a more serious with age, his mind worked like a trickster’s and he could always tell when somebody wasn’t telling the truth. When Jack answered Detective O’Brien’s telephone in the late morning on Thursday, he was expecting a call from the detective’s wife, as she always called around that time.

 

11:14 am
Thursday December 9, 1954

42nd Street Precinct

“Hello, you’ve reached the office of Detective Flynn O’Brien, Jack Thomas speaking, how may I help you?”

“Good morning Jack, it’s Mr. O’Connor from Grand Central’s security department.”

“Hello Mr. O’Connor, what can I do for you?”

“Put me on with Mr. O’Brien, please? Something has happened at the station.”

“Yes sir, please hold on one minute.”

 

Jack’s instincts told him that something was very wrong. He packed the detective’s bag of tools and gadgets, and got his boss’ coat ready. Detective O’Brien hung up the phone, snatched his bowler hat off the rack, put on the coat, and told Jack that they had to hurry.

In the taxi, Detective O’Brien filled Jack in on what he knew about the case. When they arrived at the terminal, Jack stared at the main concourse, transfixed by the sheer size of the place. The only noises were whispers of NYPD officers and the wail of ambulance sirens from the emergency vehicles parked on the street. He had been there a dozen times, but this was the first time that he had seen it empty.  He had little time to gaze at the sight, however, for Detective O’Brien nudged him to descend the stairs. Where the famed clock had once stood, rubble, body parts, and cracked marble floor remained.

Jack’s heart began beating twice as fast as normal. What had happened? He wanted to know.

Detective O’Brien walked briskly to where ten police officers were huddled, whispering. Each man stood up straighter and smoothed his tie at the sight of the famed detective. Mr. O’Connor stepped forward and shook Detective O’Brien’s hand. They walked over to the bodies, saying things inaudible from Jack’s distance. He watched, thinking of what the old Jack would have done. The old Jack would’ve marched right up to the bodies and done his own investigation- dropping the detective’s jacket to the floor, checking out the bodies, ruthlessly questioning victims, not taking no for an answer. However, the new Jack held himself to a higher standard. Today’s Jack stood, holding the coat and assuring himself that the detective would ask him for input if he saw fit. Although Jack’s new personality was quite a relief to his mother and father, he missed the the thrill of being a troublemaker. It took every ounce of self-control Jack possessed to stop himself from returning to his old ways as he waited patiently for an order from his boss.

“Jack, take notes on this meeting,” Detective O’Brien instructed.

“Yes, sir,” he replied, reaching into his messenger bag for a notepad and pen. He scribbled away as the two men discussed the situation.

“At exactly 10:42 a.m. today, an explosion took place right here. The victims closest to the bomb were killed within minutes, and three critically injured survivors were rushed to the hospital. Each body that you see here hasn’t been so much as touched since the explosion. We have a list of witnesses and would be happy to show you said list for any questioning you might do. All trains have been stopped and the premise has been cleared. No one remains but the officials you see in this room” said Mr. O’Connor. Little did he know that one very important person still remained on the premise. As Detective O’Brien and Jack left Grand Central, a memory stirred inside the apprentice’s head. The crime scene oddly reminded him of something he had read a few years earlier.

11:25 a.m., Thursday, December 9, 1954

Hiding in the bathrooms, a man named Greg Mallite chuckled as he heard Mr. O’Connor say that no one remained on the premises. Without a sound, George left the men’s room, exited that terminal from the back, and walked onto the sunlit, busy street. He parted his teeth into a sickening smile, and for the first time in ages, he wasn’t frowning. The “Mad Bomber” had just completed his first killing.

 

42nd Street Precinct

5:32 pm

Thursday December 9, 1954

Jack walked out of the detective’s office and on to the street, his warm coat wrapped tightly to keep out the cold. He would normally head back to Connecticut on the train at this time, but Grand Central remained closed. Instead, he walked to the New York Public Library to follow a hunch that had been nagging at him since visiting the crime scene. He asked the librarian where he could find newspaper articles about New York City bombings from the last fifteen years. Jack did this because he remembered reading about similar bombings all over the city when he was still in school. The article from his memory had mentioned that one man was probably responsible for all of the bombings, nicknamed the “Mad Bomber”. Jack had an idea that maybe the Mad Bomber was responsible for this attack.

 

9:03 a.m.,  Friday December 10, 1954

“Good morning, Detective O’Brien,” Jack said cheerfully to his boss on Friday morning.

“‘Morning, Jack. How are you today?”

“Not great, sir, something had been bothering me. It’s about the Grand Central case.”

“Go on.”

“Well,” Jack explained, “when we went to the crime scene yesterday, it really reminded me of something I had read a while back in the newspaper. The crime scene made me think of an article about a man called the Mad Bomber. Last night after I left here, I went to the library and read everything I could about bombs in New York City. I think our case sounds like a feat worthy of the Mad Bomber.

“Tell me more about this guy,” said the detective, intrigued.

“Okay, so, he’s lived in the city for years and has planted dozens of bombs all over! His attacks have only injured, never killed so far, until yesterday. It looks like they were all definitely intended to kill, though. The police have a file on bombings that are related to him, but they don’t know who he is or any other suspect information. Whoever he is, this guy is good, and he’s just finished his first killing. Who knows when and where he will strike next?” said Jack.

“Sorry, kid. I don’t buy it. Mr O’Connor told me that this incident is unlike any he’s ever seen, and I know that the Mad Bomber wrote a note to the police department saying that he was done bombing.”

“But Sir, it all adds up!”

“That’s enough, Jack. The Mad Bomber isn’t responsible for this,” the detective said, quite harshly.

Jack turned around, stung. He had always known that the detective seeked glory, but to ignore basic evidence because his apprentice had come up with a valid theory instead of him? That was too far. Once again, Jack was forced to control himself. Jack struggled to stay silent as he prepared Detective O’Brien’s coffee. The detective knows best. Listen to him. You aren’t the big man around here. No one cares what you think. Just keep it inside.

 

9:13 am

Saturday December 11, 1954

16 Riverside Ave, Fairfield, CT

The ring of the telephone woke Jack up with a start. He sat up and sighed. Who could be calling at 9am on a Saturday? Detective O’Connor. He woke up at 6am each day, even on the weekend.

“Detective O’Connor?”

“Jackie boy! You’ve got it!”

“Got what?”

“The answer to the Grand Central case, of course!”

“You really think it was the Mad Bomber?”

“Definetly! I called a friend of mine in the office, and he told me that the note they received from the Mad Bomber said that he wouldn’t bomb during the war. The war is over and so is that truce. Only problem is, nobody has any idea where he is. Got a solution to that too?”

“I’ll work on it,” Jack replied, laughing.

“See you in the office on Monday, Jack.”

“Okay, goodbye, sir!”

Jack fist pumped the air and rolled over to go back to sleep.

 

8:56 am

Monday December 13, 1954

42nd Street Precinct

“Good Morning to you, Jack. How are you?” Detective O’Brien said to his apprentice as he walked into the office on a particularly cold morning.

“Good morning, Sir! I’m great, thanks! My younger sister Gracie is home for Christmas vacation and I can’t wait to see her over lunch break,” Jack replied.

Both men were particularly cheerful that morning; they were rested and ready to track down the Mad Bomber. However, when the two men sat down and called everyone in their contact list for help, they came up dry. Jack was about ready to give up, but something told him that Detective O’Brien wouldn’t approve of that. When they took the midday break, Jack headed downtown to his favorite sandwich shop to meet Gracie for lunch. While eating his turkey sandwich and orange juice, they conversed. Gracie told Jack about how her first year of college was going, and Jack told Gracie about the case.

“It sounds like your boss was jealous. He drew a blank, and after a few hours you had an entire theory! He probably wished he had come up with it,” Grace said.

“Yeah, I guess. He was really mean about it though! Okay so Gracie, I can’t seem to find out where the Mad Bomber went after the attack, though. We’ve called everyone and nobody knows anything.”

“Excuse me! Who are you and what have you done with Jack Thomas?” Gracie asked, “Just think, where did you always go after performing one of your famous pranks at school?”

“To see it through–follow my victims and watch how they react to it. Oh! The hospital! To see the people who were severely injured! Thanks Gracie, you’re a genius.”

“Anytime, big brother,” she said

“All right Gracie! I gotta go. Love you and see you tonight in Connecticut.”

 

1:56 pm

Monday December 13, 1954

Bellevue Hospital

Jack anxiously climbed the stairs to the Bellevue Hospital. He was visiting the victims of the bomb. He had called the detective before coming, and O’Brien had told him that he could give it a try, and that he would join Jack in a half hour when he was done with lunch.

“Hi I’m Jack Thomas with the NYPD, I’m looking for the beds of the victims of the Grand Central bombing.”

“Rooms 204, 205, and 214. Knock before you enter,” replied the secretary at the welcome desk.

“Thank you!” Jack exclaimed, he had been unsure if they would disclose the room numbers.

 

At room 204, Jack knocked nervously and was told to come in. An old man sat in the bed, hooked up to many machines and surrounded by two nurses. People who looked like his wife and son sat in armchairs near his bed.

“Hello, Sir,” he said, “I’m Jack Thomas from the NYPD. I’ve been told that a victim of the Grand Central bomb is in here?”

“Yes, that damned bomb blew my leg off. Could’ve been worse though, I suppose,” the old man said, with some difficulty.

“Yes darling, you’re the lucky one,” his wife said, “Those poor seven people, dead! And the other two survivors, the nurses say they won’t last a week with those wounds!”

“Is that so?” Jack said.

“Oh yes, dear. A young lad and a middle-aged lady! Both unable to so much as speak,” said the wife.

Jack shuddered.

“Well, I hate to ask you this in a time of trauma, but did you see the bomber? Know anything about him?” Jack inquired.

“Not a thing. All we know is that he is a terrible man. Give him a punch for us, eh, boy?” the old man said.

“That man is going to get whatever he deserves. You can count on me that I’m going to find him.”

 

Jack, significantly more motivated, left Room 204. He was about to go to the office, but decided to stop in the men’s room first to wash his hands. The hospital had made him feel a bit dirty and germ-infested. On the way to the bathroom, Jack passed an enormous cart of blood samples, and it gave him the chills.

He opened the heavy door, and a tall, skinny man was looking at himself in the mirror. He had gray, frizzy hair and electric green eyes. As he looked, he mouthed words to himself, not understandable to Jack. He nodded to the odd man, and went on to wash his hands. The man’s words became louder.

“Kill… Kill… Kill… Must finish… Finish what I started…” He muttered, barely audible to Jack.

HOLY CRUD! Could this man was the bomber? Right here in the bathroom? Plotting to kill the old man… But how to catch him? If I try to arrest him, he may know I am not certified… Let me trap him in here…

Jack slowly left the men’s room, doing his best to stay calm. Inside, though, he was absolutely panicked. He sprinted to the blood samples cart, rolled it to the men’s room, propped it up to stop the bathroom door from opening, and hoped it was heavy enough. Then, he had a decision to make: Go warn the old man, or find a telephone to call the police station. It had sounded as if the old man was safe for a while, so Jack ran to a telephone a few yards away. He dialed the station, and told them he had found the Mad Bomber, that he was in the men’s room on the second floor of the hospital, and plotting to kill the lone surviving victim. Jack then went to the men’s room, and stood against the door so that the Mad Bomber couldn’t escape if he tried. A minute later, Detective O’Brien showed up on the scene. He found Jack and helped hold the door closed, without saying a word.

 

2:27 pm

Monday December 13, 1954

Bellevue Hospital

Five armed NYPD officers showed up on the scene, one handed O’Brien a gun, and the six of them went into the men’s room and arrest the man.

Jack watched as he is put into the police car. One of the officers came up to him and smiled.

“You did a darn good job, son,” he said. “You can be sure everyone in New York will know your name once the press gets wind of this.” And with that, the cars drove away, leaving just Detective O’Brien and Jack in front of the hospital.

“Do you want to go upstairs and tell that old man that you just saved his life?” the detective asked.

“How do you know that?”

“The officers you called told the guys who just left, and they told me.”

“I’ll save him the stress of knowing someone was plotting to kill him,” Jack said.

“That’s my boy,” Detective O’Brien said.

Jack just grinned.

 

Author’s Note

This short story was inspired by George Metesky, better known as the “Mad Bomber”. My character Greg Mallite’s story was influenced by Mr. Metesky’s, but they are not the same. As the author, I changed many details, both small and large. All other characters, including Jack and Detective O’Brien are entirely fictional.

Thanks for reading,

Kitt

Thawing Time

My name is George Applewhite. And I messed up. Big time. The date is May 5th, 2015, and the time is 9:42:34 a.m., and it has been for 32 hours. Why? Because I messed up. Big time. This is how it happened: I was in my lab in the basement, and I was working exceptionally hard on cracking time travel. I finally built a machine that would theoretically do it. It was a 5’ by 10’ by 3’ rectangular prism with many knobs and screens to set the time of the destination. Made of titanium, it looked very impressive. The big test had finally come.

“Come down here, kids,” I called, and two 7-year-olds scampered down the steps and into the lab.

“Hi dad,” Jake and Sarah chirped.

“Wanna see me travel through time?”

They certainly seemed interested.

“Okay kids, this is how it works. Whoever presses this button travels back to the set time, which now is five seconds. So I will appear five seconds before the press of this button, so another me will appear while I am still talking. Ready? Go!” And everything froze.

 

The usually energetic kids were now as still as a stone. I tapped them. No reaction. I shouted and screamed in their ear. Again, no reaction. I went upstairs to my wife. She, too, was frozen, in the middle of making breakfast. No matter how loud I yelled no matter how forcefully I pushed her, she stood still. I had frozen time.

I stepped outside. Everyone on the streets was frozen. I walked towards the nearest coffee shop: “Café De Jouissance.” When I went in, the customers were as still as my family. I decided to travel the city to see if everyone was frozen. I traveled on a bike I found, since all the cars were frozen ( I couldn’t drive through them), and biked across the city. Some things looked strange, like a soccer ball suspended in the air at Central Park, and a dog in the middle of grabbing a frisbee. I spent what felt like a day searching around, and no matter where I looked,  the people, pets, and all the living things were frozen. The sun wasn’t setting. What have I done?

I quickly pedaled back home and burst through the door. I was exhausted. After making myself a cup of coffee, I walked into the lab. I needed to build something that will make time continue again, even if it took all of the materials in the world, which I had at my disposal. I tried to find out what was wrong with the machine, and I couldn’t find anything. I decided to make a new machine to unfreeze time. It was almost identical to the first machine, but it didn’t have any screens or knobs: just one red button.  It was made of titanium as well, it was a rectangular prism, and the same size. I labored for untold hours, even though time wasn’t moving. I was about to connect the last wire, but I was so tired I spilled my coffee on it.

 

I cursed, screamed, spat, and no one could hear me. I went back to the machine that froze time, studying it. And then I realized how stupid I was being. I flicked the off switch, and everything went into motion again.

“Dad,” Jake said. “I don’t think it worked.”

I laughed so hard my guts felt like they were going to come out and gave Jake and Sarah a big hug.

“But Daddy,” Sarah said. “Why are you so happy? It didn’t work.”

“I don’t care.”

And I meant it.

 

THE END

Successful Failure

The French restaurant was a perfectly square building, with chipping pink paint and ivy crawling down the side of. It had black wire chairs and tables in the front. Inside the restaurant there were creamy white drapes over the windows and small flickering candles on each of the square tables. Littering the walls were black and white photos of the Eiffel Tower, Louvre Museum, Palace of Versailles, and many other significant places in France,  along with pictures of the owner’s smiling family.  The aroma out of the kitchen was delicious and you could practically taste the Bisque, Terrine, or Croque Monsieur being cooked up in the kitchen.

Jason Mallory’s best friend told him he had found the perfect girl for him; Jason was ecstatic. Jason as being 28 was obsessed with finding a wife. He would date anyone who was breathing and was determined to be married before the age of 30.  He was laid back and lived in a small apartment, which he shared with six other guys to pay the rent. He was working as a barista at a small coffee shop on the outskirts of New York City. He wanted to make it big in the world of theater acting but so far was unsuccessful. He would go to three auditions per month, only to get rejected a few weeks later. On Friday nights, he would stay out late at bars watching football games. In fact he would do that any day of the week. The future to him was not anything but what he would do in a few hours, nothing more and nothing less.

Avery Kinsey was a powerhouse, despite what she might look. Petite at 4 ‘11 and icicle thin, Avery had started her own real estate company by the age of 25,  which was nearing one of the most popular real estate companies in New York City. Avery had no time for nonsense. She had things to do and places to be. She would much rather stay single her whole life. If she had too many people in her life, she would have less time to focus on her pride and joy, her real estate company. Despite her opinion, Avery’s only friend , Karen, had set her up on blind date. Karen’s boyfriend’s best friend  was supposedly the man for her. Avery was displeased; she hated when people chose what her next move would be like, but next week Avery had a huge deal and needed a lot of concentration, and Karen would be bothering her all of next week if she did not go on this date tonight.

When Jason arrived at the French restaurant he saw a small woman sitting at a table all by herself. She was wearing lemon-yellow blazer and skirt, and her blonde hair was pulled back into a high bun. Her shoes were pointed at the tips and were fire truck red, which matched her square glasses.

“Avery?” he asked the woman cautiously.

“Yes?” she said impatiently.

“Hello, I’m Jason,” he said, sticking out his hand for her to shake.

Avery shook his hand and then pulled out a small bottle of Purell from her lemon-yellow handbag.  

Offended, Jason sat down across from her.  “Do you think I’m that dirty?” he asked accusingly.

She ignored him. “You’re late.”

“What? So I was five minutes late, what’s the big deal?” Jason spluttered.

“It was unprofessional,” Avery answered, her words clipped.

Jason could feel anger rising up in his chest. “You know what? Let’s start over, pretend nothing happened, and just order.”

“If you say so,” said Avery, she picked up her black leather menu, which was so big it covered her whole entire face until Jason could not see her anymore.

“Hello,” said a waiter, who had come over to the table, “may I interest you in any drinks this evening?”

“Would you like a drink, Avery?” Jason asked her.

“I don’t drink,” she said from behind her menu.

Jason ordered his drink and the waiter came back two minutes later with a water for Avery and Jason’s drink.   

“Are we ready to order?” the waiter asked

“Yup,” Jason replied

“Yup is not proper English,” Avery said from behind her menu.

Ignoring her, Jason ordered foie gras and Avery ordered a French onion soup. The waiter took away their menus, revealing Avery’s face again.

“So what do you like to do?” Avery asked him.

Momentarily stunned that Avery was saying something not critical of him, Jason replied, “I like to play basketball, I work at a coffee shop, and I want to be a theater actor.”

“That’s nice,” Avery said politely.

“What about you?” Jason asked her

“Well, I don’t have much free time, since I’ve started my company, but if I do, I like to run and cook,” she said back. 

“So what do have to do with this big company of yours?” Jason asked her.

“I have to finalize bills, keep everyone in line, all final sales go back to me, I have to employ people, officially sign all of the verification bills when we sell a house, if too many things go wrong with house inspections, I have to fix them, and I have to manage all the income the company gets. I have help, of course, but it’s still a lot.”

“Wow, that is a lot.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Here is some bread as a appetizer,” said the waiter carrying bread basket.

Avery and Jason fell back into silence once again.    

Halfway through their eating, Jason asked, “So, how’d you start a company when you’re so young?”

Avery swallowed. “Well, you have to be clever and quick on your feet. You have to know what you’re talking about. You have to be confident and determined and not let anyone tell you not to do what you think is right.”

Jason nodded. “Okay.”

“Hello, here we have the French onion soup and foie gras,” said the waiter setting down the plates in front of their respective person, “can I get anything else for you today?”

“No, I think we’re okay,” Jason said, “right, Avery?”

Avery nodded her head. “Thank you very much, sir.”

Once the waiter left, Avery took out her Purell bottle again and sanitized her hands, once again.

“Would you like some?” Avery asked Jason.

“Sure,” he responded, noticing the excessive amount of purell that was now on his hands. “So are you kinda a germ-a-phobe?”

“Kinda is not a real word, and the real fear is called mysophobia, and yes,” Avery responded, matter of factly.

“Oh, can’t you relax a little bit? Not be so uptight?” Jason said

“No I can’t. If everything’s not perfect, then a whole list of uncharted outcomes will happen and that can not happen, ever,” Avery said, her voice rising.

“Okay, calm down. Sorry I suggested it,” Jason said, putting his hand up in surrender.

Avery just ate her soup.

“So do you have any siblings?” Jason asked her.

“I’m an only child. You?” she asked.

“I have two older brothers,” he responded.

“Are you close to them?”

“Well, we were really close when we were younger, but one lives in Brazil studying exotic plants, and the other one plays pro hockey, so it’s hard to coordinate time to talk to one another on the phone or go to visit. The only time we’re all together is when we go to the beach with my parents for a week in the summer, but for the last five years, one of us has not been able to make it.”

Avery nodded her head. “What do your parents do?”

“My dad’s a college professor, and my mom is a psychologist. How about you?”

“My parents divorced when I was nine, but they’re both in the real estate business. It runs in the family.”

“So what’s your favorite movie?” Jason asked her, hoping to start some conversation.

“Well, I haven’t really watched many movies since I was 16, but then I really liked action films then,” Avery said

“Action movies?! Wow, I would not consider you to be an action movie type of person!” Jason said, beside himself with disbelief.

“Now, now, that was then, now is the present, and now I hate action movies, but remember you should never judge someone by their first impression,” Avery said lightly.  

“Oh, well, I like action movies and comedies, but adventure is cool, too. I like dramas in plays but not movies, romances are boring, horror is awesome, especially that new movie that came out-” Jason started to ramble

“I can tell you very passionate about films in general,” Avery said, politely interrupting him.

“Yup!” Jason said happily.

“How many times do I have to remind you that yup is not a real word, please stop saying it!” Avery groaned, placing her head in her hands.

“Sorry,” Jason said happily, not sorry at all.

The waiter came back to clear their plates. “Can I interest you folks on a dessert this evening?”

“Would you like to split this tarte tatin, with me, Aves? It looks like an apple tart,” Jason asked her.

“I don’t eat added sugar,” Avery said, her voice flat.

“Oh, course you don’t…could you do a slice of the tarte tatin?” Jason asked the waiter

“Of course, sir,” the waiter said and left.

“Never call me that again,” Avery said, her blue eyes dead serious.

“Call you what?” Jason asked, confused.

“Aves.”

“Okay, sorry, it just kind of slipped out,” Jason responded,

“Promise.”

“Promise what?”

“To never ever as long as you live to call me Aves.”

“I promise to never call you Aves again,” Jason said. “Why can’t I call you that?”

“Because one, it’s unprofessional, Aves sounds like a name for a little girl, not a woman. Two, the name on my birth certificate is Avery, so thats my name and no other name. Three, I hate nicknames with every bone in my body.”

“Oh, okay, good reasons,” Jason said.

The tarte tatin arrived, and Jason ate it while Avery was staring at him, arms crossed.

Once Jason was done, he signaled for the check. Once the waiter brought it over, he proceeded to fill it out.

“No, Jason, here is $12 for my soup,” Avery said

“Okay. Thank you,” Jason responded

Avery did not offer up more money, which Jason thought was fair because she did not order anything other than the soup.

After the check was paid, Jason said to her, “I had a great time with you tonight, Avery.”

“Yes, me too,” Avery responded

Both just wanted to be polite.

In many ways, Jason though that this date was a failure, most of the conversation was forced, Avery and him had nothing in common, and most of Jason’s natural instincts–like saying “yup” and nicknaming people–seemed to annoy Avery. In some ways, though, it was a success. They both got see different people with very different life goals and standing in life currently, and it was sort-of fun for both of them.

As they walked out of the French restaurant, Jason held open the door for her.

“Bye, Avery,” Jason said, “maybe some other time.”

“Yes, maybe,” said Avery, although she highly doubted it.

Jason turned and headed west, and Avery turned and headed east. Neither of them looked back.

Sleepless

Chapter 1

 

The pavement has a few cracks in it that form a face. A type of face that I should be scared of, but I wasn’t. I think it’s a nightmare, which it is. I awoke with the snap of my fingers. I lie boiled in my own sweat. Nightmares don’t give me the best night, but I do have a lot of them. I’m not scared of nightmares. I learned to Lucid, so they just disappear when I think about it.

My friends call me Lucid. It’s a state, that allows me to make my own decisions in the dream state. I trained myself since I have many nightmares. The time was 4:34. I awoke next to Mrs. Penelope and my other dolls. She was my favorite doll! Her thick blonde hair streamed down her body into her pink dress. I hit my head on the soft pillow and went back to sleep. I was in a dream, I was being chased by a dragon breathing his fiery breath.

“I want a flying carpet and the mightiest sword in the dream world!” I ordered.

Now I was on a flying carpet holding a mighty golden sword. I slayed the dra- BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock going off for school. After I got ready for school, I walked down the hardwood floors to the kitchen to eat my morning breakfast. My mother, who had no expression on her face, was getting my daily cereal ready.

“Hel-lo, sweet-ie,” she said in her staticy voice. She knows I love that voice, so her and father always did the robot-like-voice. I sat down at the marble counter and poured milk into the bowl. A little milk spilled, my mother cleaned it up in an instant.

“Woah. That was quick,” I said while combing my long hair.

“You know I like my house nice and clean,” Mother claimed.

My father came into the kitchen wearing his suit, he was holding a briefcase and looked at his watch. He did his static voice:

“I’ll be late for work, bye sweetie, have a good day!” Kissing me on the cheek. I swatted at him to go away as I stuffed the crunchy cereal into my face. I chewed and swallowed. I heard the bus pulled up to my driveway.

“Duty calls! Bye, love you all!” I said jumping out of the chair and grabbing my pink bag.

“Good-bye sweet-ie. Have a nice da-ay.”
I laughed and ran out the front door

“Hey!” my friend Isabelle called. “Hurry up!”

I hopped on the bus and together we sat in the back row. “So I was thinking,” Isabelle said and she went on and on and on. ‘Hooooonk hooooonk.’

“Hey!” Isabelle snapped her fingers in my face. “Lucid dream again? You have to stop doing that. Anyway, let’s ditch school. We have A’s, so can we miss one day? Starbucks day?”

I peeked open one eye. “You mean I have A’s, and you have C’,” I retorted.

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Are we going to Starbucks?”

I shrugged, still half in my lucid dream still have out. “I mean,” hoooonk hooooonk, “sure. Starbucks is,”‘hoooooonk, “cool”

Isabelle started giggling “You’re still in you lucid dream. But whatever.”

When I got to school, Isabelle and I walked into the building.

“So when are we ditching?” I asked.

Isabelle looked through her backpack. “I was thinking on…on…before third period.”

I stopped walking. “But today is the history exam!” I continued to walk.

“I know, that’s why I chose third period,” Isabelle said. She looked up from her backpack with a shocked look. “Shoot, I forgot my math homework. Do you think I could do 7th grade calculus before second period?”

“No. Iz. Sounds impossible. You know…because you aren’t me.”

“Oh, ha-ha-ha,” she laughed sarcastically. The bell rang.

“Come on Iz. Before we’re late.”

I turned around to see Robbie Toby. My crush! I have had the biggest crush on him since the third grade! We lived right next each other. His chest was puffed out, wearing his blue tight shirt apped his six-pack. He was captain of the varsity basketball team!

I stuttered. “He-Hey…Ro-b-b-ie.”

He chewed and bit on his lower lip, which drove me absolutely mad.

“Hey girls,” Robbie said. He hurried down the hall, following the other kids to their classes.

“He’s so cute,” I muttered

“Maaaaybe, if you learned to talk to him, it would go somewhere,” Iz said sarcastically.

“Well it’s not my fault! You’re the most confident person I know!” I admitted.

“Don’t worry, Lucie. You’ll work it out.”

Isabelle started to walk forward to first period.

“No I won’t. I’m an idiot. He’d never go out with me.”

“Says the straight A student.”

“I’m book smart. Not street smart.”

We walked to French. We walked along the wall and go to the room: D6.

Robbie sat at the same table as me. Isabelle sat with the weirdest boy in school, Daniel Braxton. The teacher walked in. He was wearing a blue sweater and had a bald spot at the top of his head. He came in holding a briefcase.

“Bonjour!” the teacher said.

“Good morning, Mr. Adrien,” the class repeated.

“False,” Mr. Adrien responded.

Bonjour, Monsieur Adrien,” the class said.

It was French for: Good morning, Mr. Adrien.

I looked over at Isabelle who was copying Daniel’s calculus homework onto her sheet of paper. On the other hand, Daniel was sticking pencils up his nose, his big freckled nose. He was a red-head, and he had tons and tons and tons of freckles!

The time third period arrived, Isabelle’s and my seats were empty, I was in Starbucks with my best friend! Do I feel guilty…yes. I have never ditched a day of school before. One time I had a 101 degrees fever, and I had a huge test! So I stuck my thermometer into icy cold water. But I got in trouble because I got three people sick that day.

“Ma’am, that would be six dollars,” the Starbucks woman said.

I went through my purse and pulled out four dollars. I walked over to Isabelle. “Hey. Can I have two dollars?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

She looked into her purse and pulled out two dollars, and gave it to me. I walked over to the Starbucks women and gave her the two dollars.

“Who should I make out the cup too?” she asked.

I thought for a while, who should I make it out to, my name? Or Lucid?

“Lucid. Lucid Dream,” I told the lady. “Whats your name?”

“Leona. Leona Tylers,” she told me.

“That’s such a lovely name!” I told her.

“Why thank you!”

I left the counter with Isabelle, we had our frappuccinos in both of our hands. We walked outside and as soon we took our first sip, mine fell to the ground and spilled everywhere! I screeched. There I saw on the side of a stop sign. I saw the flier that I never wanted to see again! The flier read: JOIN QUART AND HIS FUNKY CREW AT THE THREE-YEAR-ANNUAL-CIRCUS!

When I was eight years old, I came across that same flier. It was my birthday. I asked my daddy to get me tickets for my birthday. He nodded, and that night we went to the circus. They had everything! Tamers, elephants, acrobats, ropewalkers, and most of all…clowns. My dad then went up to Quart and told him that it was my birthday. Quart announced to the crowd that it was my birthday and told me to get up here. The spotlight then turned to me, shining in my face and having just a twinkle of an eye open. I sat up and then got onto my feet, shaking.

I started to walk down the stairs to the stage of the circus. I walked slowly dreading until I got to the stage.

“Now what would you like for your birthday?” Quart asked me.

I shook in fear. “I-I wou-ld lik-e a um,” I shuddered.

“Come on dear, there most be something!” his clown face scared me.

I ran off the stage and out of the circus, my father following me.

 

I lay in my bed trying to fall asleep. Looking at the top of my bunk bed. But why couldn’t I?

No matter how hard I tried I could not manage to fall asleep. My head on the soft pillow, the covers around me were warming my cold body. It was a cold windy night, the window was open to get a nice breeze inside the warm house.

My teddy bear was tucked in between my pale arms. His name was Mr. Eddy. He protected me during the night so I wouldn’t be scared, but tonight Mr. Eddy didn’t help.

But no matter how comfortable this beautiful room was, I found myself not being able to fall asleep. Why? Why could I not fall asleep? What was the fear swarming my every thought.?

“Think lovely thoughts!” I kept on telling myself. “Lovely thoughts help.” Like flowers blooming in the meadows, or waking up on Christmas morning to run downstairs and open presents!

Nothing would work, I was still scared, in this beautiful room filled with light and joy.

What was I scared of though? Nothing, right? But I just have that deep feeling as if something or someone was watching me.

Finally I gave up on trying to go to sleep and sat up straight on my bed. And I felt a cold wash over me, my eyesight became clear, and everything became spooky right before my eyes. [JUUU DU DU DOOON)

I heard noises coming from my headphones. I must’ve left on a youtube video. I went on my computer, which was on my nightstand. The laptop was slightly open. It was an apple laptop and the apple logo was still glowing. I opened the laptop and the big blue bright screen was shining in my face. I clicked through my files and saw no video playing. Whats going on? I then put on my headphones and I heard:

“I think she hears us,” a creaky voice said.

I took off the headphones and unplugged them. I threw them across the room and they broke.

I jumped out of bed and went to the door. The knob was gold. Not the silver I remembered it to be. When I turned the knob there was a CREEEAK. Then I realized, my door was a push not a turn and pull. [JUUU DU DU DOOOON] I walked over to the window next, and looked outside into the windy night. Street lamps were turned off for the night, the road had no cars, not even a motor was running. Then I realized, cars should have been parked there. My mother’s car. [JUUU DO DO DOOOOON]

Next I went to my bookcase, books always made me feel delightful. So I thought to myself; maybe if I read, I will fall asleep. I reached into the bookcase and looked for my favorite book and saw: No Exit. I found it and opened to the first page. I saw a picture I never noticed before, it was the picture of the clown I’ve seen in a circus before. Its name was Quart. I had nightmares of this clown, it always haunted my dreams until I was eight, I’m now twelve.

The picture started to move as if it was real! The clown did an evil laugh and honked his nose, the clown started to walk around the picture. The clown reached his hand outside of the picture, I was scared. Then it dawned on me: I hate clowns! I dropped the hardcover book on my big toe! I screeched with pain.

I woke up with a gasp and sweat dripping down my face. I looked around. I was in my basement. This….this….was normal. Before….It couldn’t have been. That had to be a dream. I saw on the wall: Isssaaaabellllllllle.

But I realized: That wasn’t my name!

GASPS!

I was now in my kitchen. And Mr. Eddy was there. Made sense. I took Mr. Eddy and Mrs. Penelope everywhere. But where was she? The pots and pans were moving, the kitchen knives spelling out: N-O-T H-E-R-E L-E-O-N-A

Leona wasn’t my name either!

GASPS!

I was back in my room, how did I get here? Its impossible! One thing I knew I was in the kitchen hearing noises and now I’m lying in my bed again. I then heard whispers coming from my top bunk which I was staring at. I removed the covers from my body and started to look for Mr. Eddy, I couldn’t find him. GULP! I then got out of bed and heard the whispers again. (OH DANG) It was the type of whispers you shouldn’t have heard.

I climbed up the ladder to the top bunk and Mr. Eddy was there! He was with my other dolls, Sally, Mrs. Penelope, Drake, and Gother. They were whispering. I then kicked the ladder by accident. All my doll’s necks turned all the way around and stared at me. It was like an owl just with dolls. I then ran to the door, fast! I tried to twist the knob open. It wouldn’t open!

I then awoke. It was in my living room, the TV was on. I must’ve left it by accident, It was on a program that wasn’t running, so that means it was staticy. I grabbed the remote and started to flick through the channels to see if there was anything else on. But it went to the same static channel every time. Channel: 666. [eeeeeeeeeeup]

I then turned off the TV, I turned around and started to walk back up to my room, but then the TV turned back on again. So, I walked back to the living room and tried to turn the TV back off. Blood started to ooze from the TV. How is this possible? I threw down the remote and ran to the staircase again. My dolls were there, they were at the top of the staircase, as if they were a King. They were singing creepy lullabies.

 

“Can’t even shout, can’t even cry. The gentlemen are coming by.

Looking in windows, knocking on doors.

They need to take seven and they might take yours.

Can’t call to mom, can’t say a word,

You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard,” all the dolls sang.

 

I ran the other way to the front door and I tried to open the front door to my house. It wouldn’t open! The dolls started to walk down the stairs.

I awoke back in my sweaty covers. I dripped sweat and fear shook my whole body. I saw a glass of water, I couldn’t resist it. I was so thirsty. I grabbed the water and started chugging it down. When it hit my mouth, it turned into dark oil. I choked and gagged. The oil dripping down my mouth.

“Daaarliiing,” my mother called. “Come ooout.”

“Diiinneeer,” my father called.

Their voices sounded a bit like steam boats. But that didn’t bother me. They were just playing, like old times.

I swung the door open and ran out the hallway, looking for them. “MOM! DAD!”

“Dooownstaaairs,” my mother called. I jumped down the stairs, three at a time.

“Paaastaaa!” my father said.

When I entered the kitchen, I saw my parents. Cooking, no expressions on their faces. “Mom? Dad?”

My father turned around, his face blank, the pot of pasta in his hands. “Sit.”

“ I-I-I,” stuttered, “I’M ALLERGIC TO PASTA!”

“Nooo you aaaren’t,” my mother called.

I looked at the clock: 6:66 a.m.

I screamed and grabbed a pan. “THAT TIME DOESN’T EXIST!”

“Darling. Please eat. You’re so scrawny,” my mother pleaded.

I grabbed a pan. “GO AWAY!” I swung the pan at my father, his head bent at an odd angle. Not human at all. He started switching and sparks flew. “Eat. Eat. Eeeeeeat.” He fell down and never moved again.

My mother’s voice changed to static and so deep filled with pure anger. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! THAT WAS MY HUSBAND!” Her voice was like metal rubbing against metal.

“Yo-ur’e- You- o-‘re- an-an AUTOMATONS!” I hollered. It all made sense, maybe this is why I don’t have a name [JUUU DUN DUN DUNNNNNN].

I ran back down the steps to the basement, I was so scared. I just cooled myself down saying that I’m in nightmare! I finished running downstairs and saw a rope. The rope was hanging, but something was pulling the weight down of the rope. I moved my eyes down along the strip of rope. Towards the end it had a deep red color of blood stained into the rope. I saw a head through the loop of the rope. I panicked. The girl had a name tag. The name tag read: Isabelle.

So thats what I heard earlier! I then noticed blood dripping. I looked up and saw blood dripping on me, it ran down my face. It was coming from the air vents. I got the stool that was behind the hanging girl. I grabbed the stool and climbed up to the air vent. I removed the air vent and I saw a girl’s head lodged into the air vent. It must have been Leona. Her head was separated from her body, she was stabbed six times. I fell off the stool and I landed on Mr. Eddy. He appeared out of nowhere. I was scared. I looked at the wall and I saw something strange. It was written in the blood of Leona. It had the words: You’re Next. I wasn’t scared because of the message, I was scared because I never owned a teddy bear, because I never bought Mr. Eddy.

 

Every 12-year-old experiences these events. And you’re very much awake.

Rebecca GF 8/11

“One, two, three,” I say, grabbing Erin’s hand. We leap off the ledge into the abyss. We plummet fifteen feet down into the water. I am overcome with a giddy feeling of weightlessness but also my body being ripped from its former position.

“Come on, girls, taxi’s waiting,” Erin’s dad jokes. He opens the door of the grey Volvo. “I said that was the last jump.”

Erin and I oblige. I start to head for the car, but someone is calling my name.

“Josie!” Erin yells. “Don’t forget your towel.”

I jog over to her. She’s standing on the outskirts of the quarry, with my towel in her hand, and a smug look on her face.

“What would I possibly do without you?” I ask her.

“Oh, you wouldn’t do anything. You wouldn’t be able to live without me,” Erin walks over to the car, her hips swaying. She looks over her shoulder and grins at me. “C’mon, slowpoke.”

I laugh and join her. I look out the window as we drive. All I see is blurred green, and I hear the whoosh of cars streaming past us.

“Josie, do you want mac and cheese or peanut butter and jelly for lunch?” Erin asks.

I look at her with a raised eyebrow. “Is that even a question?”

She laughs. “Mac and cheese, please!” We say in unison. We smile widely at each other. Erin’s teeth are white and straight, and I see glints of green and gold in her warm brown eyes. I’m distracted by her hair, even wet it’s perfect.

“Do you wanna rent a movie to watch tonight?” I suggest. Erin’s country house has an old TV, so you can only watch videos.

“Absolutely,” Erin replies. “Dad, can we go and get a movie?”

“I suppose so,” her dad says. “After all, we only have two days left.”

I can’t believe we’ve already been here for three days. We have done almost everything you can possibly do on this little island in Maine. Swimming, hiking, eating ice cream, watching movies, going out to dinner, climbing trees, attempting gymnastics in the backyard…

And whenever we have late night conversations before bed, or while enjoying a midnight snack, Erin always mentions boys.

“Oh, Josie, did you see that adorable boy at the quarry today?” or “Ohmygod Channing Tatum is so hot I’m going to die!”

I just nod and say, “I know right?” Even though I couldn’t care less.

No, I didn’t see that adorable boy at the quarry today because I was busy staring at you. Yeah, when we were watching ‘She’s the Man’ I wasn’t looking at Channing Tatum, I was looking at the girls.

Still, I always hope that Erin is hiding her feelings for me with false statements on the attractiveness of dudes. Or maybe she doesn’t even realize she thinks of me like that because of heteronormativity. Yep, it’s definitely our society’s fault.  

“Josie! JOSIE!” Erin startles me. “You were staring off into space. C’mon, we have to pick a movie soon.”

I look around me. I’m renting a movie. Focus. I take a deep breath. Erin is staring at me like I grew an extra head.

“So what are you thinking?” I smile. “Drama, comedy, action…”

“I’m in the mood for more of an action movie,” Erin responds. “Like a thriller!” She has such a serious look on her face, and her arms are spread out wide. I giggle.

“Sounds good!”

We browse the action movies until we find one that we agree on. The Dark Knight.

“I love that movie!” Erin and I say, simultaneously. We laugh because it’s weird how we’re so similar. I sigh. Erin would probably say something about how Christian Bale makes her weak in the knees. I roll my eyes at that thought.

Several hours later, Erin and I are huddled into the corner of the sofa, shoving popcorn into our mouths, as we watch the movie. We watch Heath Ledger as the Joker walk around the fundraiser asking where Harvey Dent is, our eyes wide. We’ve seen The Dark Knight several times, and we turned thirteen a few months ago, but we’re babies when it comes to scary movies.

The Joker is telling another version of how he got his scars, and Erin grabs my arm. I shiver at her touch. I stare at Erin. Her mouth is in a little ‘o.’ I can’t look away from her, but I do. I turn back towards the TV.

The credits are rolling, but I’m not focused on the movie. I’m thinking about what it would be like to kiss Erin. She’s so beautiful. I could look at her forever. Her smiling face, and her soft curves. How does she not realize how gorgeous she is?

“Hey,” she whispers, turning towards me.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have something you want to tell me?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I respond harshly.

“Woah,” Erin says. “Chill, Josie.”

“I feel like you’re accusing me of something.”

“Hey, look at me,” Erin says soothingly. “I’m not. You seem distracted. I just wanted to see if something was up.”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Try me.”

I pause, calculating my response.

“Is it a guy? Do you have a crush on someone? That’s totally normal, you know.”

“No it’s not a guy.”

“Oh, okay. What is it then?”

I take a deep breath. I’m just going to go for it. I don’t want to keep secrets from her. “It’s you.”

“What? What did I do?” Erin seems appalled. She’s getting defensive. Tell her. TELL HER.

“I like you. As more than a friend,” I mumble. Ohmygod I just told her why did I tell her she won’t get it ohmygod I ruined it.

“Oh. Oh my God. Wait seriously?” She looks so confused. Is that a bad sign?

“Yeah, seriously.” I wait. “Um, you’ll probably say no. I, uh, just wanted to see. Do you maybe wanna kiss to see what it’s like?”

“Oh my God. Uh, I don’t know. I never thought of you like that. You’re my best friend. You know that. Um, okay. Ohmygod. Let’s try.”

I can’t believe she agreed to do it. I look at her mouth. We lean in slowly. For a brief second, our lips touch. Hers feel soft and strange. It’s different than I expected. I don’t want it to end. She pulls back.

“Yeah, I don’t. I can’t. I don’t feel anything,” she replies honestly. “I’m not gay. I think I’m straight.”

“I’m sorry. This was a bad idea,” I say quickly. “Let’s just go to bed.”

We brush our teeth and get changed in different rooms. We go to bed without a sound. I try to fall asleep. I move back and forth. Tears well up in my eyes. Why did I do that? I knew it would end up badly. She doesn’t like me like that. No one thinks of me like that. Why can’t I be straight? Why can’t I like guys the way I like girls? Why do I get nervous when I see a pretty girl, but I’ve never felt attracted to a guy?

The last two days are awkward. Erin and I barely talk, especially not about that night. I thought being honest was the right thing to do, but I made everything worse. I don’t know if our friendship will ever be the same. Now we only speak briefly, to the point. We swim without talking, Erin’s dad asks us what we want to eat and then we eat in silence, we don’t watch movies anymore, we just retreat to our rooms and read. I miss her.

Maybe I am straight. I have had crushes on guys if it counts. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t want to date them, and I wasn’t attracted to them physically. That will come with time. I’m only thirteen, after all.

Just because I thought that I was in love with Erin doesn’t mean that I was. We’re just really close friends. I was just thinking about experimenting. I prove it to myself by looking at pictures of hot guys. They are handsome. See! I am straight.

I try to tell Erin. She’s reading Harry Potter on her bed. I cough. She looks up.

“Hey, Erin?” I ask, timidly.

“Yeah?” I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I really want to.

“Remember that night?” She nods. “Well, first, I’m sorry. I made things weird between us. Also, now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I actually like you like that. We’re so close, and you’re so pretty and amazing, but I think I was just wondering. I wanted to experiment. That’s it.”

“Josie,” she responds firmly. “Don’t do this to yourself. I don’t know what it feels like, and I’m sure it’s hard, but don’t ignore your feelings. Your sexual orientation is valid, and no matter what it is, I will always love you. As a friend. And I’m sorry that I don’t feel more than that. I wish I could, but I can’t. And you do. You have to accept that. It will be okay. You’ll find someone. I promise. In fact, you’ll find several someones. There will be girls that love you like you love them. Just not me. Come here.”

Erin opens her beautiful arms. I walk over and give her a squeeze. I bury my head in her shoulder.

“I will always love you,” I admit. “But we will be friends.”

“I’m glad,” she whispers. “I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“Your lesbian best friend,” I add.

My beautiful straight best friend laughs. “My lesbian best friend.”

Raymond

 

PART 1 – JUNE SIXTH

 

CHAPTER 1 – NEW LAW

 

June 6, 2015. How long ago is that?

 

All I know is the inside of my cell.

Solitary confinement. No words imply more pain to me than those. As you can probably decipher, I am in solitary confinement. I often wonder why I remember what it’s called. I don’t remember anything else. And then, just like that, the first domino was blown over by the wind.

A guard opened my cell door.

“No, I’m not letting you go,” he said like he’d rehearsed it. He then tossed a newspaper into my cell. “New law,” he said, “We must supply you with reading material to ‘connect you to the outside world.’ Read it thoroughly. This is what you get.”

I’m too stunned to say that it was ridiculous that I get one newspaper in my whole life. So I let him leave without giving him a piece of my mind. I decided to look at the paper.

 

The title was in a very confusing font, and I could just barely make it out. “The New York Times,” it read. That name sounded vaguely familiar. Perhaps I had read it before. It was apparently from the day of June 6, 2015.

June 6, 2015. How long ago was that? I made a logical decision. I would read this newspaper all the way through. I started with the front page. A dog, on the street, tied to a pole via his collar. I paid very close attention to this picture. In the background, just barely legible, a street sign read, “Folkshore Road.”

 

“What were you doing at Folkshore Road, Mr. Giere?”

“Where?”

“Folkshore Road, Tarrytown, New York. What were you doing there?”

“What day?”

“January 8th.”

“Impossible. I was on vacation.”

“I don’t see a ticket anywhere. Or any evidence supporting that alibi.”

 

I jolted back into the present. That image of the court is all my memory had. I, of course, was Mr. Raymond Giere. I don’t even remember if I was telling the truth or not. Furthermore, what was I even convicted of? And did I do it? I shook myself from these thoughts, and read the article, which was actually quite fascinating, about dogs being allowed into buildings, and not having to wait outside.

I went to the next picture. It was a picture of a courtroom. I flashed back once again.

 

I was walking into that courtroom. The trial opened. I came before Your Honor, as they said to call him. I remember being scared. Petrified. Wondering what on Earth was going on.

“All rise.”

 

Once again, I snapped back into reality. This led me to believe that I didn’t commit the crime. Wait. I didn’t commit the crime? I was falsely accused!? I had already made up my mind. I would try to make this right.

 

“This courtroom sees the defendant, Raymond Giere, who is being charged with-” – I still don’t remember what – “on the 5th day of the 6th month of June, in the Year of Our Lord, 2015.”

 

I jolted violently back into my cell. I triple-checked. The newspaper was from June 6th. And if the trial happened on June 5, the trial might be in the paper! I scoured the article with the courtroom, but it was about renovations, not the trial, and the most it said about the trial was “A trial was going under way.” I was getting nowhere at near lightspeed.

Think. I told myself. What were you tried for?

 

I had never been able to think logically in this cell, but I found that with the newspaper, it came back to me. How long have I been here for?

I looked through the newspaper for anything about solitary confinement. I finally found something, to do with a speech given in Scotland, abolishing solitary. Anyways, I looked, and thankfully found a transcript of the speech. It said permanent damage is done to the brain within 15 days of solitary. That doesn’t help much. Eventually I found something, tucked away in my memory. Going into solitary confinement, I saw beautiful new steel, bars. Funny. How something so simple as a few rods of steel stood upright can cause so much mental turmoil.

But when I look at them now, they are rusted over. So I figured that I must have been here for a few years. And I was in prison for much longer than that. I estimated 10-15 years. After all, I can’t remember fresh air, and I certainly can’t remember what anyone looks like. Not even me, or not my face anyway. So my crime was severe enough to be put in jail for 10 years. Either a serious theft or a murder. I don’t imagine I would commit murder, but of course, I still could’ve been accused of it. So that or theft. I kept looking through the newspaper. I looked back to the front page picture. I looked closely at the man walking away. He had dropped a receipt. The receipt’s details were not visible, but it seemed to be under the name ‘R. Giere.’

Hold on, I thought, Wasn’t I falsely accused?

And I thought I was. But maybe not. This proved that I was at Folkshore Road.

Wait, I thought, if the newspaper is from June 6th, and the murder was committed in January, than this doesn’t prove anything. No such luck. The caption happened to be credited to ‘Sean Doctor, Tarrytown, NY, January 8th.’

 

“We collected this receipt, Mr, Giere, Marked R. Giere, from January 8th, 2015, a restaurant on Folkshore Road, in Tarrytown, NY.”

 

CHAPTER 2 – HAWAII

 

I came back once again. I guess that was it. I’m a murderer. I guess I deserve to be here. It’s a painful truth, but a painful truth is better than a warm-hearted lie. Or maybe it isn’t. Me and my lame excuse. Vacationing in Hawaii. How dumb of me. How short-sighted. Vacationing in. . . Hawaii. I was in Hawaii! On that very month! But there was no evidence that I was! So I couldn’t have murdered anyone! I was clean after all! But that’s worse. I don’t deserve it.

It’s so simple! I’ll just go to trial again and. . . no, I can’t. You can’t be tried for the same crime twice. It was hopeless.

I refuse to believe that. I will loophole the law just as it loopholed me. In the event that I get the trial again, somehow, I need at least some evidence. But that receipt kept staring me in the face.

How could that receipt even exist? It’s obviously not mine. My father was Daniel, my daughter Annie, my wife Angela, my brothers Thomas and Robert. Robert! R. Giere! That’s it, I can’t believe whatever lawyer I had would’ve been so stupid to not include that! So the receipt is Robert’s. Does that mean he’s the criminal?

It doesn’t matter, I tell myself, You need more evidence right now.

I was right. I did. But I needed to know what I was tried for. I went back to the picture of the courtroom. There was an outside picture, but on the “turn to” pages of the article, there was an inside picture. What do you know, during my trial. Look, there I am. Suddenly, I knew what I was tried for. It was so obvious.

It must’ve been murder, based on the picture. There was no victim, which there would’ve been if it was thievery. But not if it was a murder.

 

So, what was the weapon? It was a gun, as I had assumed. Because I hadn’t looked hard enough up until then. There was a piece. Not on the trial, but on the murder itself. There was a picture of evidence. Among them was the receipt, and a gun. Suddenly, a memory hijacked my mind. The gun was a semi-automatic. I know, quite a way to commit murder. Anyways, I now understood why I was convicted.

I was getting a permit for that exact gun. Normally, there’s one permit for guns in general, but this one was so powerful you needed a separate permit. And, as I also remember, I lost the gun in Hawaii. So, between the 3rd and the 24th of January. So it looks just like I left it at the crime scene. Too much evidence against me, despite the fact that I didn’t murder. . . who was even killed? The article says ‘Dominic Pagano.’

 

Dominic Pagano.

 

CHAPTER 3 – DOMINIC

 

Dominic Pagano, my nemesis. I apologize if that sounds corny.

There are two types of people that I don’t like. People who are bad people, and people who are faking being good people. But I hate the fakers so much more. And Dominic Pagano was just that. But there are plenty of people like that. Dominic’s major flaw was that he worked for me. So why didn’t I just fire him? Did I desperately need him for something? Who else worked for me? What did I even do?

 

You may have figured it out. It took me a few minutes of looking through the paper for something I connected with. I was an actor, of course, not a successful one, and Dominic was my agent. And who was that thanks to? Dominic Pagano. He gave me the movies, but of course, all the ones that had no chance. But he was in league with agents of people like DiCaprio, Hill, Brando, and Cage. So I would be an idiot to fire him. Of course, I’ve never seen any of their movies, but the fact that everyone knows their names is a good sign. So of course I couldn’t fire him. What he had against me, I can’t imagine. But I certainly had a reason to kill him.

 

But, back to the gun. My brother had no such permit, so I suppose that’s why he wasn’t considered for the investigation, and, furthermore, proof he didn’t commit the crime. But, of course, it wasn’t. This was a homemade gun. It looked just like my semi-automatic, but it wasn’t. There’s no cage for the trigger. This was because when building your own gun, the cage is just a waste of metal for something that is not strictly necessary. This was good. I was building up a case. But it was all for nothing if I can’t prove that I was vacationing in Hawaii. The entire case, all of the evidence being even plausible, was based on that proof. And, unfortunately for me, it doesn’t exist.

 

____________________________________________________________________

 

Two more years went by. I read the paper, cover to cover, over and over again. I found nothing else. But I recited the evidence to myself every hour to keep myself from forgetting. But after those two years, the unthinkable happened.

“Another new law,” the guard said, resentfully, “solitary confinement is a thing of the past. Follow me.”

CHAPTER 4 – SIXTY-FOUR THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED FORTY

 

The guard led me to cell 4, in section C. I laughed. The guard looked at me.

“What’s funny, boy?”

“The cell is C4. Like the explosive.”

“Oh,” he said, and had one chuckle.

While I was contemplating this, he closed the door to my cell. I was still amused by the C4 jail cell, when I realized something in horror.

“THE NEWSPAPER!!” I thought to myself.

 

It was in my old jail cell. I shouted for a guard, and he came.

“Excuse me, sir, but could you get the newspaper from my old cell?”

“Look, now that you’re not in solitary, you have human contact, and the newspaper is not a necessity.”

“Could you please just get the paper?”

“I could get you a different one, if you -”

“It has to be that paper!”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

 

He came back a while later, newspaper in hand. I collapsed.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

 

I took this opportunity to assess my surroundings; the cell and anything else I could see. The bars were even more rusted than the ones in my old cell. It was depressing. This cell really screamed depression. There was a single cot, with no bedsheet or pillow. There was a white sink and toilet, each with quite a lot of paint chips. Whenever you opened the seat, or turned on the faucet, a creaking sound could be heard. There was an air vent. The ceiling was absolutely revolting. And finally, I looked outside the cell. Repitition, repitition, repitition. Dozens of cells, and hundreds out of view, that looked exactly like mine, each with people inside them. But most, all of them, were sleeping. And the lights were all out. I figured it must be nighttime. Solitary confinement threw me off of my sleep schedule. The next day, at breakfast, I was elated to see people who I could talk to.

“So who’s the current President?” I asked a man, who looked easy enough to talk to.

“Frank.”

“Frank who?”

“Heath.”

“Frank Heath. Republican?”

“Democrat.”

“I see. What are you?”

“Independant. What about you?”

“I don’t even remember. What year is it?”

“You don’t know the year?”

“Not for sure.”

“Ohh. Were you just let out of solitary?”

“Yeah.”

“I see. Well, it’s 2027.”

“I was right. 12 years.”

“Say, what’s your name?”

“Raymond Giere.”

“Hey, I watched your trial. You could’ve won if your lawyer had turned on his brain. The receipt.”

“Robert Giere. I know. You believed me?”

“I did. The evidence was indisputably against you, but I believed you.”

“You know, I got a newspaper, and it had the murder case in it.”

“What are the odds?”

“1 in 64,240.”

“So, pretty low.”

“Yeah. What’s your name?”

“Michael Johnson. You know, I have friends in the business.”

“What business?”

“Lawyers.”

“No. If I get to a trial, I’m going to be my own lawyer.”

“Well, they could at least get you a trial.”

“Yeah, I would like that.”

“I’ll place a call.”

And then, we all went back to our cell. We met again at dinner time.

 

“Raymond, you said you wanted me to get you a trial, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I placed the call. Even the warden’s cool if it works out. 9:00.”

“Are you serious?”

“I hope you have a case ready. The court wastes no time.”

 

PART 2 – VERDICTION

 

CHAPTER 1 – TIKI MASK

 

I walked through a giant entranceway. If I looked around, I could see a few buildings I recognized. The Capitol Building, the White House, the Washington Monument. My case was in the Supreme Court!

 

I figured I’m being televised. But I can’t see any cameras. And there they were. The nine judges. Or, justices, I think. There was no lawyer beside me.

“All rise,” said a man from the court, “You’ll have to forgive Mr. Giere here, he may not remember the court etiquette, and may come across as rude, but I assure you -”

“Thank you, Mr. Ivanovin,” the man in the large chair, presumably the Supreme Justice said, “I wish to waste no time. The court is now in session. Mr. Giere, I understand you are acting as your own lawyer?”

“Correct,” I reply, respectfully.

“Alright then,” he said, eager to continue.

A lawyer, probably the prosecutor, stepped forward.

 

The trial went on. He presented his evidence, I presented mine.

“Chief Justice Lasser, may I say that his entire case rests upon the fact that he was in Hawaii, yet he has presented no evidence of this?” The prosecution lawyer points out.

I feel around in my pocket. This suit was from my old house, which, oddly enough, was empty when I picked the suit up. In my pocket was a picture. I take it out, and view it privately. My eyes go wide. It’s evidence.

 

It was a picture of me, holding a traditional Hawaiian mask, in Hawaii. Finally, proof! But it came at a price.

The mask was an artifact. And I was nowhere near a museum, so I obviously stole it. So, while this proved I didn’t murder Pagano, it proves I stole an artifact from a Hawaiian museum. I had a tough decision to make. So, I stepped forward.

“Chief Justice Lasser, I would like to present not evidence, but proof, that I was indeed in Hawaii that entire month.” I spoke up, and presented the photograph to the panel of Justices. One spoke up.

“Mr. Giere, how do we know this was that month?” He asked, thinking he’d beaten me.

“You see, sir, that the solar eclipse is ending. Quite good timing for a photograph, actually. And that’s the only solar eclipse we’ve had visible from Hawaii, at that angle, in my entire lifetime. So, yes, it was from that month.”

“So, I think that this evidence is irrefutable,” The justice began.

“I agree.” I replied.

“But it also proves that you stole this thirty thousand dollar hawaiian tiki mask from a museum.”

“But I’m being tried for murder,” I said, confident.

“No, Mr. Giere. You are being given a chance to get out of jail. And I’m afraid your honesty has been your demise. You’re going back to prison.”

 

Total shock. I was sentenced with 10 years. But my personal philosophy has always been that rules were made to be broken.

 

CHAPTER 2 – ESCAPE

I had it all planned out. Not tomorrow night, but tonight. It had to be tonight. And there was a very good reason for it, too. But before I get into that, let me warn you very clearly.

I am going to escape prison, and I will use any means necessary to ensure that it goes well. You will not like the new Raymond Giere, nor will you see the old one. So let me say my goodbye to you now.

It is a new sentence, so I’m not set up yet. When they take me back, I don’t have anything. Not a cellmate, not a uniform, not a single thing I had before. And I mean not one thing. This is very convenient. When the guard comes into my cell to set up my cot, I knock him out, steal his keys, uniform, set up the cot, and lie him down, so you can’t see his face, and they think it’s me. Then, I casually make my escape.

 

It’s nighttime. I’m waiting in my cell, for him to come and set up my cot. And he does. He rolls the frame in, disassembled, and I take a rod and hit him with it, making sure he’s out instantly. I then replace his outfit with mine, and mine with his. I finish setting up the cot, and lie him down, as if he were me. He’ll wake up soon. I unlock the door, keeping my face partially obscured with my hat. And just like that, I’m at the door. I walk out into the fresh air.

 

CHAPTER 3 – THE MOVIES

It surprised me; it didn’t feel as refreshing as I thought it would. I thought it would be just like the movies: I would stretch out my arms and kneel down in the pouring rain and scream with victory, and the rest of the world wouldn’t even exist, and the credits would roll. But instead, I walked away from that horrid place. No dramatic music. No credits. Just me, still walking. It’s not like it is in the movies. And it’s not like it is behind the scenes. You don’t get to leave your character behind in real life.

 

I walk and think for a long time. I think about my family, and where they are, as they weren’t in my house when I got my suit. I think about where I can go, as the police will be after me within a few hours. And I think about the murderer. Why he would do this? A hatred built up inside me.

 

I put finding my family and clearing my name on hold. I needed to find this man. Besides, I feared the worst. I had a bad habit of doing that. I was afraid I might die trying to find this man. And I didn’t want to find my family and then die immediately. A strong feeling built in my gut. Unlike anything I’ve ever felt. You must get this feeling whenever you’re about to die. I knew I probably wouldn’t come out of this alive.

 

PART 3 – NO TIME TO WASTE

 

CHAPTER 1 – MIKE

I decided to walk around the streets. I saw someone in a prison uniform. At first, I thought it was the guard. But it wasn’t. It was Michael, the man who got me the trial. I was about to go up and greet him, when he crested the hill, and I saw that, right behind him was the very guard I replaced myself with. I supposed he was trying to get Michael to spill where I was. Despite my conscience, I hid.

I ran as quickly as I could to the porch of the nearest house, and by sheer horrible luck, they walked into the backyard, so I ducked behind a table. They had a conversation, but I was too distracted to hear it. They both seemed angry. Suddenly, the guard pulled out his pistol and shot Michael.

 

Just like that. There was no slow-mo. He just fell to the ground. I kept myself from shrieking, and watched as the guard, oblivious to my whereabouts, ran off. Once he was out of sight, I ran to my deceased recent friend’s retired body. I heard what I figured was an ambulance siren. In actuality, it was that, and a police siren. The ambulance took him away, and the policeman, with short-ish blonde hair and medium build, apprehended me.

“You’re coming with me. You’re coming to my office,” he said, with a slight stutter. And so, I went.

 

And then we arrived, before I knew it. I was not in handcuffs, to my surprise. He handed me my shirt, which I had used to stop the bleeding, to no avail.

“I believe this is yours,” he said. I nodded, and put it on. “So,” he began, “I just want to ask you a few questions.” I gave no response. “Alright, can you tell me exactly where you were today, just 3 hours ago?” I gave no response. “Alright, can you explain why there was a gun found right next to your feet?” I gave no response. “Sir, are you deaf?”

I smiled. “If only I was,” I responded. This got his temper up.

“Tell me why you killed him!” He said loudly.

“I didn’t kill Mike!” I shouted as he was walking away, having given up.

 

Then, another man, dressed in a suit and a fedora, with brown hair, walked in and sat down.

“I also want to ask you a few questions, but let me start another way,” he said, catching my attention, “I am not going to pretend that you should confess to me because I am a better man than you, because there’s a good chance I’m not. But I will say that you can either keep being stubborn, and get four more people like me, who aren’t as nice, or you can confess and get it over with.”

I have to admit, he was convincing. But I didn’t give in.

“He was my friend,” I said.

“You still could’ve killed him.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

“And why should I believe you? It’s your word against his. ‘Whose?’ You ask? The officer’s. I did this with him too. Well, technically he’s an agent. I didn’t believe him just on his word, and I don’t believe you just based on yours. So confess, or I won’t leave this room.”

“Alright,” I said.

“Alright what?” He said, maintaining calm.

“I killed him,” I lied, and ran like the wind.

 

CHAPTER 2 – DOCTOR

Oh, you’re probably wondering why I lied. Well, it’s not such a hard answer. I wanted out. That guy was intimidating, but more than that, he was so convincing, that I was beginning to worry I would spill the real beans: having broken out of prison. He never got my name. I decided I was making a journey to the library. I went to the newspaper section, and picked up the newspaper for June 6th. I thought that maybe I could figure out who really killed Pagano through this paper.

I looked at the picture of the evidence. There was also a picture of the scene itself. And I looked at the caption. Credited to Sean Doctor. I flipped back to the front page. Sean Doctor. I got to a library computer, and looked up “Raymond Giere murder” and went to images. Every single legitimate image of the scene was credited to Sean Doctor. I think I had found my murderer.

I Googled Sean Doctor. Only one picture came up. It was a man, holding a camera up to his face, like he was taking a picture, and his logo. The camera obscured his face, but he had blond hair. I took note of that. Sean Doctor had blond hair. I started looking around. I searched Sean Doctor on the web, instead of images, and it showed, though it didn’t show any picture, that he was an FBI agent. I logged out, thinking I had a lead. How I would find an FBI agent, I had no idea. But I certainly would try.

And then, as I was rounding the bend, as I predicted, the men who had been interrogating me were catching up to me after my escapes.

But after a closer look, I realized that it wasn’t them. It was the first interrogator, the one with blonde hair, and someone else who I’ve never seen in my life, wearing a vibrant pink jacket. They started chasing me. I ran into someone’s yard, and climbed a tree. They saw me, but had no way of actually getting up to me. But now, they weren’t the same people.

This time, it was the same guy who I didn’t recognize, but with the other interrogator, the one I ran from, in the fedora. That man, in the fedora, ordered the other to kill me and ran. The man whom he ordered, in the pink jacket, started racing up the tree. Eventually, I outpaced him, being the skilled climber that I am, and he fell. I saw him talking to the man in the fedora, who I assumed was his boss. I listened in.

“Did you get it done?” The boss said, aggravated.

“No.” he replied.

“Why?”

“He was quite far into the tree.”

“You had a Glock! You could’ve shot him.”

“Trees have leaves.”

“Which a bullet would easily go through.”

“But they did obscure my vision. It was a risky shot.”

“What is this about? You used to be so reliable.”

“It’s about the fact that I am quitting this stupid mafia, or whatever you want to call it.”

“I don’t think you are,” he said, sternly.

“Watch me.” He got up, and left, walking away. The boss got up, chased him, strangled him, and ran.

 

CHAPTER 3 – REVELATION

As soon as he was gone, I climbed down from the tree and processed all of this. The man who interrogated me was some kind of mafia boss, or something. It was shocking. I decided to settle down, and I went over to a nearby diner. And it was there that I saw the prison squad, looking on the streets, in an attempt to find me. I considered giving myself up. It was a bit too much for me. No. I have to find Sean Doctor first. So I ran. They saw me, though. I ran. Without thinking. I ran. Eventually, I found myself in another diner, though fancier.

I had a strange feeling. Like things were ending. I hoped the feeling was wrong, or misinterpreted. But either way, I decided to calm down. I ordered. It came quickly.

“Coming right up,” someone said. I looked up, and to my horror, it was the mafioso.

“What are you, even?” I said.

“It’s really none of your concern.”

I was terrified. I frantically looked around. I saw, to my relief, the agent, the man with the blonde hair, who had arrested me. He rushed in, and they brawled. They fought, but eventually, the agent came out on top. We shook hands, and were about to talk, when the prison squad rolled in.

“We’re here to reclaim Mr. Giere,” said the prison guard.

“Officer, from what I understand, he was being tried for murder, and you can try him for thievery, but the case has not been filed yet, and the second prison sentence you gave him was unlawful. Now, of course, so was escaping, but I suggest you let him go or he will give you a lawsuit you never thought was possible,” said the agent, quite confidently.

“What makes you an expert?” the guard asked.

He flashed his badge, though I couldn’t see it.

“FBI agent,” he said, and they left, and he put his badge back in his coat pocket before I could read it. We engaged in conversation.

 

“So, what’s your name?” I began.

“I shouldn’t say,” he said.

“What made you so interested in this case?”

“Well, it sort of came to my desk.”

Eventually, I had a thought.

 

“I was convicted,” I said, “Of murder. That was public. But when they let me off, it was private. How did you know?” I asked.

“Files.”

“Impossible. It just happened. They’re pending,” I said, “How did you know I was innocent?”

 

Of course, he didn’t answer because he knew he didn’t need to. I saw his eerie smile, and his short blonde hair, and it was over.

 

I have found Sean Doctor.

 

THE END

 

Patrick Star and Spongebob

Patrick wanted to eat a Krabby Patty at Krusty Krab because he was hungry for lunch there. He went to Squidward the cashier and he asked for a Krabby Patty and Squidward said, “That will be $3.99!”

Patrick got his money out and gave it to the cashier. And then Spongebob cooked the Krabby Patty, gave the Krabby Patty to Patrick, and ate the Krabby Patty. After he finished his Krabby Patty, he left the Krusty Krab and headed home to his rock. He watched TV in his rock home for an hour and after that, he went to Spongebob’s Pineapple home. Spongebob wasn’t home. He was busy working at the Krusty Krab for 12 hours.

After he was done working at the Krusty Krab, Spongebob walked home to his Pineapple. And then he was going to feed Gary the Snail dinner for 10 seconds. After Gary’s dinner, Spongebob went to bed with Gary the Snail.

One morning he got up at 7:00am and put on his pants. Spongebob went downstairs and ate a bowl of kelp cereal and got ready to go to work on time at the Krusty Krab. He got ready to cook the Krabby Patties on the grill.

The Customer came up to the cashier and Squidward said to the Customer, “Welcome to the Krusty Krab! May I take your order?”

The Customer said, “I would like to have a Krabby Patty deluxe!”

Squidward said, “That would be $5.99 please?”

The Customer took $5.99 out of his pocket and gave his money to the cashier.  He said, “Thank you! Come again!”

And Spongebob cooked the Krabby Patty deluxe with lettuce, tomato and the cheese. He gave the Krabby Patty deluxe to the Customer and left the Krusty Krab for five minutes!

Mr.Krabs said, “There are a lot of customers at the Krusty Krab ordering some Krabby Patties!”

Plankton was trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula out of the Krusty Krab and Plankton said, “The formula will be mine!” He went to Mr. Krabs’s office and tried to steal the formula out of the safe.

Mr. Krabs saw Plankton trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula and said, “Aha! looks like you’re stealing my Krabby Patty formula! Plankton!” because he was stealing the formula and going back to the Chum Bucket to make Krabby Patties.

Plankton escaped from the Krusty Krab and Mr. Krabs caught Plankton. Mr.Krabs took the Krabby Patty formula away from Plankton and Plankton ran away from the Krusty Krab, back to the Chum Bucket. He failed to steal the Krabby Patty formula and told his Computer wife named Karen.

She told Plankton, “You should try again.”

Because he didn’t get the Krabby Patty secret formula! And he came up with Plan B and tried again for the 1,001th time to steal it again. He tried to spy if Krabs was busy trying to watch Plankton try to steal it again! He spied the door and tiptoed quietly and jumped up to the safe to get the secret formula again out of the safe. He tiptoed back and squeezed through the door and got out of the Krusty Krab. He went back to the Chum Bucket to make the Krabby Patties.

Back at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs was mad because his Krabby Patty Secret formula was gone! Mr. Krabs came up with plan to get the Secret Krabby Patty formula back! and Mr. Krabs called Spongebob and Squidward to come up to his office and they came up with Plan D to steal it back.

That night, Squidward and Spongebob and Mr. Krabs used laser to cut the front back up with a circle. They used a rope and jumped down. Spongebob went first to jump down in the Chum Bucket and second, Squidward went down. Last but not least Mr. Krabss went down last with Spongebob and Squidward.

After that, they tiptoed down and opened the door quietly when they saw Plankton busy looking at Species. Plankton didn’t see them because he was too busy looking at Species.  

Mr. Krabs, Spongebob and Squidward saw the formula on the table and they took it back to the Krusty Krab. But they were too late! Because Plankton said, “Freeze!”

Plankton tried to trap Squidward, Spongebob and Mr. Krabs, but they still they escaped with the formula and went back to the Krusty Krab at 9:50pm. After that Mr. Krabs went home and went to bed. Squidward and Spongebob locked up the Krusty Krab at 10:00pm and they went home and went to bed, too. They were happy and put the formula back in the safe. THE END!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Newly Independent

Oliver had been in the hospital for 15 days before his wife came to visit him. He had recently been struck by oncoming traffic and flew about 27 feet before he hit the ground and was instantly paralyzed from the waist down. She, his wife, had reason to be upset, but her straight face as she walked through ICU proved otherwise. She didn’t frown or make any gesture that would indicate unhappiness, her neutrality was in fact quite disconcerting. The pale walls, speckled by miniscule black dots surrounded her as she walked through the corridor toward Oliver. Meanwhile, he was sprawled out in bed, blinking once for yes and twice for no, watching television, with the hum of the fan overlapping the voices of all patients in the wing. The screaming, oh the screaming was horrific, and once or twice every four minutes a bleach white stretcher would pass by his room, being pushed with much haste towards emergency care. He would on look and ponder the idea of what had brought each person in, maybe that one was a burn victim in a house fire on the west side, maybe that one was struck by a car as well, possibly.

She reached the main desk of the intensive care wing and proclaimed she was visiting room 163, the attendant replied with a nod and had her sign in before saying, “Down the hall to the right.” He threw up small amounts of water and bile beside him and sighed in exhaustion. He tried again, but with a failure realized he still couldn’t move his legs. He prayed that at least one toe would wiggle as he tried with all his might, but it was a conclusive no. She reached the door of 163 and slowly placed her hand on the brass knob that would open up the rest of her life. This was it, married last month, and already restriction, whether it be this new disability she would have to live with, or her discomfort in understanding that she was not ready for this. She was not ready to live like this, with him, with anyone. She drew back and stood outside the door. He was not ready for this, he was not ready for stability, he in general, was unprepared for everything that was to come. The reason for uneasiness was just unidentifiable to him. He then threw up again, and laid back in his bed staring at the ceiling above and tracing the grids.

She walked in and immediately both pairs of eyes met each other and for a moment became stuck in that position. She walked towards his bed greeting him with a quiet, “Hello, Oliver.” He nodded back in recognition, for his speech was impaired. The doctors believed this was just temporary. She sat in the chair adjacent to the bed and spoke calmly with small breaks, knowing that he had been mentally impaired as well as physically.

“Oliver, I know you can at least partly understand me. Listen, I know how you must feel about my absence. I just couldn’t bare to see you like this, knowing who you were and what you did before the accident.” She paused.

Oliver focused on her face and tried to understand and tried to control his frustration and anger. He gripped the keyboard he had been using to communicate sentences. He didn’t use this regularly because it was still a very tedious task, that just frustrated him even more. She watched as he began typing, his bony fingers resembling ivory spider legs as they stretched and pressed each key. She anxiously waited for a response to her obvious displeasure in being there. He stopped and the atmosphere of the room grew cold and uninviting.

“I wish I had died,” read the small screen sitting across the room. She stared at him for a moment and he stared back. She grew pale with apprehensiveness, as he just stared at her. His eyes moved down to her fingers, no wedding band, he couldn’t remove his. She wanted this moment to be internalized within him, she wanted him to believe there was no life between them anymore. She stood up and walked out of the room and a silent understanding had been achieved. He laid back again grasping at aspirations in his mind that now seemed intangible and unachieveable. She closed the door to 163, and in an instant her life was committed to experience and selfishness. Everything was up in the air, she went back to her car in the garage of the hospital and sat for a moment with the engine on. Her temple pressed on the steering wheel, she bent forward and let the tears falling from her cheek hit her lap. She slowly laid back into the seat, and pictured what will be in the days to come, an empty house, dinners for one, the removal of all things Oliver. She had lived in the same place for what feels like an eternity, four years with Oliver in the same house, mixing CD’s and records, sharing plates and cups, compiling DVDs together. She wondered why Oliver had patronized her so before the accident. She dug her fingernail into the crevice between her thumb and fore finger, and the wound already there from this habit began to bleed. She glanced out of the window, the wedding band laid just a few feet from the car, she couldn’t stand having to endure that experience with it still on. She thought about the rise and settle of the sun, and how the world, although crashing around her, would still be in this constant cycle. She sat for a while and believed she would never move, but eventually she backed out and began to drive towards the exit of the garage. As she moved through this darkness, passing cars and descending towards the bottom level, she expelled all memory of Oliver. The slow passing of minutes as she descended and drove out of the garage became a slow passing of hours as she drove towards any and everything, and the atmosphere of the situation really began to hit. Night had proceeded to envelop the world, and she was now unsure of every decision she had ever made.

She settled for a singular bowl of soup that night, and fell asleep to the faint sound of emptiness, and she wondered whether it was emitting from the lack of people in the house, or the unsettling finalization of a life well wasted.

Needle In A Haystack

The story of my grandfather retold 70 years later…

A dagger that started a revolution. A boat that ended a war. A gun that shook the world. These acts, of both bravery and cowardice, do not boast of a leader, but those that want to make a difference. The voiceless, that created the most powerful voices. But as time recalls, they were the popular, the majority, the stars – my grandfather was not such.

He was a cruel man who followed old traditions and strict rule. But through the stories from family, he had an alter ego. One who was sympathetic, kind, and whose life was dedicated to serving his country. His story began in Guangzhou, China in a small farming village. Most of the time, his clothing was drenched in a perpetual sweat and his knuckles were skinned raw working the field in the merciless sun. Growing up, he met the love of his life in a small corner market. My grandmother was taught the ways of any typical village girl. She learned how to cook all sorts of traditional dishes. She cleaned the house, served the men, etc. Growing up, she also met the love of her life in a small corner market. They soon wed at the ripe age of 13.

At the age of 16, my grandparents boarded a ship for the land of the free and prepared for the 30 day expedition to come. Looking at this realistically, a cargo ship meant for a personnel of 20 and holding a thousand, we can only fathom what conditions they faced. Urine lining the walls – the smell of feces and disease thickening the air. On day 25 of the perilous trip, there was an obstacle. A rather large obstacle.

 

Bob Hom

 

I awoke to hundreds of other travellers frantically running around diving under beds. Jogging up to the deck, I saw a familiar blue boat docked next to ours. There were two uniformed Coast Guard officers, two on board with flashlights checking every cargo box; slowly, they progressed towards the main basement where we were holed up. I could’ve sworn I was going to be the first 16 year-old to get a heart attack. With the worst agility, I maneuvered my way around the officers to a small group who were stuck in the open. My mind flashed back to the village adjacent to ours when my best friend was in trouble with the police. He had nowhere to go and for three nights we were playing cat and mouse with them. I was interrupted by an abrupt futuristic sound. I looked over the box and saw them talking into a weird black object we now call a walkie-talkie. Suddenly, a voice spoke out of it, “Cargo Ship, Eastbound – be advised.” Abruptly, the white male stopped and whispered to his colored companion. They ran back to their boat where three males stepped out of a hidden door. I sighed with relief and went back to sleep. In the middle of a dream, I had a realization. If the Coast Guard is here, then that means we’re in… I jumped out of the painful bed to see Lady Liberty staring at me, a book in one hand, the candle in the other. Many people had already joined me on deck, but those who hadn’t soon woke up to the droll sound of a dusty horn.

 

Yick Hom

 

Such a stupid ship. No fans. Nothing. What the hell were these people thinking? Letting a thousand people board a ship with a capacity of twenty. I hope we’re almost there. I probably have like a million diseases by now. Gosh, and my hair. My poor hair. It’s all dirty….

Reluctantly, I dragged my bony legs up the stupid, narrow staircase – only to find the most beautiful view of all. Standing 93 meters high, a green colossus stared at me straight in the eyes. We sailed around it to the bustling harbor right out of Chinatown and Little Italy. There to greet us was a young group of Asian men and women, a familiar feeling tingling down my chest.

“Ne ho!” A robust lady struggled to walk up the narrow ramp that connected us. She escorted us all to a unique building that was labeled “Chinese Hotel.” Many Hispanics and Muslims walked to and from each apartment room.

Wow, very culturally in depth, I grimaced. The place was ancient. It looked like something from the History Channel. There were these statues that were coated with dust that would greet you at every corner. One time, I was walking up the stairs while talking to our neighbor and when I looked in front of me, a statue was staring right at me. The room was even worse, believe it or not. I’m pretty sure if we black-lighted the whole room, we would’ve found some very unsettling substances in very common spots. The closet was unusable because they had sealed it up due to a cockroach problem. At night, I barely slept because of the bug problem. The first night we had stayed there, I woke up to find a spider and two cockroaches exploring my body.

 

Bob Hom

 

The same day we arrived in the States, I had a chat with Uncle Sam and he recruited me for the army. But he thought my name was Jonathan Smith and that I was 21. Five days later, I said my farewell to Yick and left to fight front-line in the Korean War. At the base, two men separated the whites from the blacks. I stood in the middle and asked, “I’m not white nor black. I’m yellow, like the sun. Which way do I go?” The man hit me with his gun and I tripped over another soldier. I guess I’m white. The beds were a little more comfy than those on the ship. The smell of *** was overwhelmed by a heavy smoke – that’s when I learned to love cigarettes.

 

Yick Hom

The first month was the worst. Loneliness. It was worse than a million words; because none were spoken. I didn’t have many friends except for the nice corner market lady, but I didn’t even know her name. Hers was the only market that sold premium meat so her customers usually consisted of businessmen passing through. Most of the time, I was hiding out in the back, where dead cows were hung by their feet and fish sprawled out on the rusted floors.

I remember one day in particular. It was a Saturday; like all the rest, boring and lonely. So I decided to take the train to Little Russia, get out of my comfort zone. It turned out to be a quaint little neighborhood, and many of the immigrants struggled to tell me their adventures coming to America. On the way back home, I had to stop in Sheepshead Bay to get some water. At a decrepit supermarket, there were two shady men lurking through the aisles. Slowly, I moved further away from them, not wanting any trouble. Both looked African-American but I wasn’t interested enough to check. Without my knowledge, one inched his way towards one end of the aisle; I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Out of the blue, the other popped up in front of me. I yelled for help, but one of them muffled me with his hand. My body became numb and my heart was about to explode. This hadn’t happened before, so I didn’t know what to do. They kept shouting derogatory slurs, but I could barely understand their rough English when I could barely speak it myself. Right before they knocked me out, they took the money from my pocket. No one found me in the store, and the register guy was too busy protecting his own. Without saying a word, I slowly dragged my legs out the door; I stopped in the doorway, a sudden surge of memories flashing through my head. The stench on the boat, the way my body couldn’t support itself. Everything came rushing through in one brief moment. My body collapsed on the ground and the sheer force of the concrete knocked me out.

Bob Hom

 

Day one on the battlefield was rough. We were hit twice by artillery and a wave of drunken bastards armed with 88’s who didn’t even know how to aim. But when it came down it, when times got tough, and trust me, they were always tough, we had our brothers in arms to lift us back up and keep us going. Semper Fi. Two words that kept me going when times weighed me down and life seemed like a distant reality. We were stationed in a small rural village just outside Pyongyang, where Kim Il-Sung and his forces awaited our arrival. Our small group consisting of less than 100 men were unprepared, unequipped, and had no idea who we were up against. It seemed like a good plan at the time.

Yick Hom

 

The hollowness inside me grew exponentially by the day. The days were more meaningless than Bobby Darin’s songs. I rarely saw any more Japanese in America after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Luckily, I was still growing up in China at the time of the attack and I was only experiencing the aftermath. Oftentimes, people would mistake me for the people who attacked them just years before. Each day, I learned more and more about the real America. There was no more freedom than in China. Propaganda took the form of commercials and communism, laws. And my partner in life wasn’t even there to save me from it.

 

Andrew Yuen

 

For three years, my grandfather had experienced all different levels of pain, from a scratch to multiple gun wounds. Sometimes the pain was so unbearable that he just wanted to end it all. But he fought on for my grandmother, the woman who never lost his faith, nor never gave up hers. It was the pure will of determination that got them both through these hard times.

 

Bob Hom

“Get up, boys!” Sergeant Smith whooped. It was the last day of our three year tour and the war seemed to be dying down. “I’ve some pretty good news,” he walked down the aisles of tents where we all groggily and reluctantly awoke, “The Northerners have decided to sign an Armistice Agreement. Y’all have officially saved this country and ours from those terrorists we call North Koreans. Pack yer bags, cuz we’re all going home!” We all cheered as a military transport aircraft landed in the safe zone. First, the crazies hopped aboard. The ones with PTSD. It was a sad sight, seeing as how they deserved so much better than that. Serving our country for a trip to the psych ward.

I remember my walking past the infirmary and saw several sights that were unspeakable of. Half-dressed soldiers ran around, their bodies positioned in an awkward position as they yelled at the nurses. Others had to be held down at gunpoint until they calmed down.

Then, we slowly marched into our designated spots, ready for what was to come.

 

Yick Hom

 

There was a knock on the door. First time in ages. It’s two in the morning. What can they possibly want from me? I took the bat from the kitchen and slowly opened the door. A handsome man looked at me with weary eyes. At first I couldn’t recognize him with a goatee. Then I realized. It was the love of my life. “I thought you were dead!” I dropped the bat and gave him a bear hug, never wanting to let go.

 

Epilogue

 

Bob lived a very traditional Chinese lifestyle for the next twenty years, never forgetting where he was raised and what brought him to where he was, but never quit the old habits that came with the army. Marlboro ultimately led to his demise and he died from a heart attack, caused by one of the several effects of cigarettes. Although post-traumatic stress changed him into a completely different person, he did not waver in faith to his wife nor his children.

 

Mirage

The slanted facade of nautical disaster, that I only narrowly avoided getting caught up in, didn’t paralyze me with fear, or at least not as severely as it would any listener to my tale: a tale that few are ever able to live to tell. The oddly cloudy sky made everything especially ominous, and being the dramatic person I am, it made everything feel more intense. Call me a thrill-enthusiast of sorts, but I just can’t help but add every aspect of a terrible situation into the sum of a great and horrifying spectacle. It was almost entertaining, in the sincerest way. Despite my excited viewing of the sinking yacht before me, while I did succeed in escaping, it was not with absolute exultance. I considered the whole thing a real inconvenience.

It was hard to tell what caused the ship to expose its ulterior motive of not doing what it was supposed to do. How rebellious, sinking like that. My kind of guy. If I were a boat being trod on day and night by 200 passengers, I’d sink too. It wasn’t any sort of re-enactment of the Titanic since no icebergs were in the area, (I had done my research.) This wasn’t the ship’s first time sailing, and I couldn’t imagine any other reason for the engine to not have been functioning properly. The only other option was that another yacht (with the same ulterior motive; poor troubled soul) collided with it. That was my theory, but I didn’t go around telling people about how I was probably right. In that moment, even I knew it wasn’t necessarily a good time to start bothering people with my nonsense. Everything I ever did was nonsense according to my “loved ones”, even when my nonsense wasn’t all that nonsensical. So I kept to myself as I had been told to do since a very a young age. When the shaking voice of our captain came over the intercom as the bearer of bad news, I didn’t bother looking for my family. As awful as it may sound, the thought of their deaths occurring in mere minutes was refreshing and motivating. If they were, at long last, going to perish, I at least wanted to see what it was like to live life untied from that pole of confinement.

They thought there was something wrong with me from the moment I was born, but I was just smarter than them. Just to help brush off the unsettling paranoia, my mother named me Candi, which is ironic considering nothing about me is sweet. There wasn’t anything wrong with me in terms of mental health. Although looks and speech may be deceiving as time goes on, seasons change, but people don’t. They didn’t change any more than I did as I grew up, and you could maybe say their cruelty rubbed off on me, but I had the last laugh.

Do these twisted thoughts that entertain me make me a bad person? After all, they kept me alive. After all, those who didn’t think in these ways are now dead, i.e. every passenger but me. It was liberating to watch everyone drown, exhaling their last inhales of the sweet air they would never taste again. Like I said, who cares if I’m being obnoxious or sociopathic or any other derogatory adjective? Wish upon me all the plagues you’d like, but I’ll just laugh when I escape them. I guess it’s a disturbing form of confidence, or maybe I am sick after all, but who cares? No one whose opinions I care about is alive to give me that overdue intervention. I don’t think they ever existed.

I soon realized that staring would not sink the ship any faster, so I decided to scope out my surroundings and potential itinerary. I had a cooler in my boat with a couple jugs of water, various dried foods, a flare gun, and other basic survival tools for unanticipated life at sea, and even though it wasn’t what the crew members had intended when packing supplies into all the boats, I had these provisions all to myself.

How did I get a lifeboat all to myself? It was not an act of selfishness, but more serendipity. How did I miraculously find out that the crew members had been lying about the lack of access to the boats? To make a long story short, one drunk bastard of a crew member managed to convince another one to not let people on the lifeboats. They claimed there was something wrong with the descent pulleys, but did I buy it? Of course not. Is that a plea I would normally believe for the sake of my own safety? Probably, but I had a hunch, so I went with it.

They then escorted everyone to the other end of the boat. I stayed behind and pressed an inviting red button. One of the boats began to slide down the side of the ship. I took a deep breath, jumped into it, and watched as more idiots bickered and fought rather than dealt with the situation at hand. My courageous decision to take matters into my own hands turned out to be more practical than staying with any authorized personnels. My skepticism of being in the lifeboat alone knowing I had the chance to save someone only lasted for a short while (I do have some morals, even if they tend to be temporary). But then I realized the horrible life of neglect I’d lived. People had scorned me, shunned me, ridiculed me, and I guess in that moment I was feeling particularly vengeful and vindictive. Now here I was, alive and alone, but feeling no need to fret. For me, it wasn’t a rare occasion to be alone, but this time I was alone and feeling happy rather than knowing I was alone because people hated me. I used this me-time to my advantage and thought of it as a form of meditation. Monks do eternal relaxation crap like this all the time. Maybe I could be a monk. An 18 year-old, white, female monk.

And then I saw a small head floating hilariously against the current. I cocked my head to get a better view of his effortless charade. He seemed relaxed in his strokes. Maybe he would be like me, I thought. Maybe he too was nonchalant and indifferent. He could be my mate; the two of us, floating along the Atlantic, dismissive of our situation, living happily ever after on our raft sharing dark joke after dark joke. I swam closer to him until I could hear his moans of restlessness. It looked like I’d thought wrong and he was just like another one of the scared passengers that drowned. He noticed me before I could paddle away.

“Help!” he sputtered. He was floating around the wreckage of a ship that didn’t look like the one I’d escaped from, but another yacht. I then looked around the corner to see the remains of my own yacht. I was right after all about the reason for the sinking, and it looked like another 199 people died out of 200 on another boat.

I figured I had to help him now, although I really didn’t want to. I steered my small boat closer to him and helped him aboard. He was getting my clothes wet which aggravated me, but it wasn’t like dumping him back in the water would better the situation. He clambered onto the opposite bench and sniffled his way through sentences.

“Th…ank…you…I tho…ugt…I was al…one…I was so…sca..red.”

I cut him off before he could continue. “Keep your mouth shut and catch your breath or I’ll kick you right off.”

He did as I told him with slight aggro towards my attitude. He stayed quiet for a few minutes. It was nice to be able to give orders to someone else and know they had nothing to do but obey. It never worked that way in my house with me in control. I surveyed the area but then I realized there was no point since I barely moved away from the wreckage at all. I guess my boat had gotten a little bit to the right and around but that seemed about it. I was still left to admire the same boring backdrop of two sunken ships, the refracted planks of wood shimmering against the sheets of bluish green and a few bodies were even visible. I winced the tiniest bit and looked down at my fingernails. They were shorter than ever from all the biting. I’d be left practically with nubs by the time I reached land.

By the time we reached land.

*** it, he was still there.

“Are you okay?” He asked. His voice was deep when he wasn’t choking. “You look a little uncomfortable.”

“Me? Uncomfortable?” I was insulted. “I’m fine. Great in fact.”

At this he raised an eyebrow but changed the subject. “Eames. Declan Eames.”

I hesitated at his abruptness. “Just call me Candace.”

“Candace,” he said. “Well, Candace, what is it that’s making you feel so great?”

“You’re surrounded by it,” I laughed. He didn’t bother turning around, or laughing with me. I could tell just from that that this prude would not contribute any additional enjoyment to this situation.

“I’m glad you’re not upset by it,” he said. “After all the accident will be burned into our brains forever, and our brains alone.”

He was glad.

“Oh well,” I said. “So, I don’t suppose you were on the Marigold?”

“No, I was on the Onyx with my wife and kids.” He looked down as if he felt guilty about even saying their names. He scratched the back of his neck and sniffed. “We were on our way back to England. It was the last leg of a long, exhausting trip.”

“I was dragged onto the Marigold by my family. Glad everything backfired.”

I wasn’t sure whether or not my goal was to scare the fellow, but even if it was, it didn’t seem to be working. He examined me with a quizzical yet intrigued eye rather than a horrified one. His arms were crossed and struggling to bend through the damp silk of his jacket, but he looked comfortable. Comfortable with me.

“Are you some kind of doctor?” I asked. “You look all fancy with your jacket and your name tag that I just now noticed. Who are you?”

“‘Who are you,’” he repeated with a laugh. “I’m a pediatrician in Liverpool. I lived with my wife Elise and our daughters, Etta and Eilis.”

“You like the ‘E’ names, don’t you?”

“Elise finds them attractive.”

“Yeah, well, now she’s dead.”

He looked up from his focused gaze and stared at me. Was he horrified that I would say something like that? Angry? Hurt? From the mere minutes we’d been together, I was already finding him hard to understand. I’ve always found it fairly easy to read people. He didn’t seem very put off by my pessimistic comments or overall outlook on life. I wouldn’t say he seemed completely intrigued either. It was possible there was a middle ground I wasn’t seeing.

Changing the subject, he quickly added, “I don’t suppose you’ve touched the water at all, have you?”

“No, I managed to stay dry.”

He reached over the edge of the boat and dipped his hand into the water, suddenly whipping his hand back out and practically drenching me. The upper half of my torso was now damp and the bottom of my face, too. He stared back at me with a stone cold expression.

“How old are you, may I ask?” I said to him.

“I don’t believe that concerns you,” he replied haughtily.

“I thought it was a feminine thing to refrain from revealing your age?” He laughed. “It doesn’t concern me per se. It’s your maturity level that has my interest piqued. You must spend an awful lot of time with children.”

“I’m sitting with you, aren’t I?”

“I’m a legal adult, thank you very much.”

“Are you just in a *** because I splashed you? Are we not allowed to have a little fun?”

“Believe me,” I said, stretching my legs in a very unladylike way. “I’m having the time of my life.”

The day went on. It wasn’t very sunny. It rained for a few minutes which wasn’t pleasant, but then the weak sun took over again. Declan found a notebook at the bottom of the cooler and had a pen clipped to his jacket, so he spent most of his time writing in the notebook which, after three days, was almost half full. I hadn’t really thought of the fact that I was now forced to share my generous ration of food and water with a man I was beginning to despise. Except Declan was hard to despise. I felt like he was hiding something. A psychological problem, maybe. It was hard to know. Anyone would have a problem with my attitude, but he didn’t. He didn’t really make anything of me. I was sure he was flawed in some area that caused him to be so laid back, especially for a child’s doctor. I wanted to know more about him, but he seemed fine to stay not very well acquainted with me.

He would dismiss every conversation starter, and those were things one could not get out of me often. He didn’t seem to understand who he was dealing with here, not that he would, but he would have to learn the newly tied ropes soon. I was Candi from Manchester with her insensitive, despondent, cynical, disheartening words. Why wasn’t he scared of me? Why didn’t he react? I hated being ignored by people who projected innocence that aren’t a member of my family, since those people are the easiest to frighten.

That’s how I could tell he wasn’t innocent.

A week or so went by, and I would always feel a strong urge to undergo some sort of social interaction. Although it was definitely unusual for me to feel something like this, I wanted someone to talk to given our isolated situation, and although it was unusual for me to want something like this, I wanted access to the human, with the ability to talk, comfort and all, sitting across from me. But he was so caught up in that little notebook (that I soon began to wish I’d come across first,) and I was deathly bored. I reflexively pinned a lock of hair behind my ear, shifted my weight, cleared my throat and prepared myself to try again giving him another incentive for interaction.

“What are you writing about, Declan?” I asked, for what it was worth. “You’ve been scribbling in that thing an awful lot lately.” An ‘awful lot’ was an understatement that was clear to both of us.

He looked up as if I’d startled him and stared at me. Maybe it was just me overreacting to his actions since, after all, we hadn’t spoken while making eye contact in days. His eyeballs were unusually prominent as if preparing to eject themselves out of their sockets. His lips were dry, his hair somewhat messy and he was shaking. He was nervous about something. Was it the fact that I was talking to him? Or just our current situation as a whole? I suddenly became concerned for his mental and physical well-being.

Why was I feeling so strongly infatuated with, not Declan, but his mannerisms and responses and overall feelings?

“Oh, just notes I suppose.” He laughed nervously and his eye began twitching. I was becoming a little scared; scared that I was scared of something, and that he was acting strange. I recalled back to a few instances from the past couple of days where he seemed particularly moody or estranged, not that we were well-acquainted at all. I think I felt more acquainted with him than he felt with me.

And given the circumstances and the differences between our personalities, that didn’t seem right.

“What are you noting in partic–”

“Would you like to read them?”

His hand was outstretched to mine before I could reply. Of course I wanted to read his notes and finally find out what had been distracting him all this time. Jesus, why was this so distressing? My concern for him was unrequited, but then again, why would it be? I was rude when we first met. I’m not sorry about it, because that’s just me. He’ll never change me. Neither will this entire predicament.

I grabbed the notebook from him. His feet were tapping the bottom of our raft and he seemed anxious about me reading his notes. Without further ado, I flipped to the first page, from our first day together. I figured this would be a diary of some sort, but it was really a combination of that and a regular field notebook.

He had taken note of the weather conditions, scribbled random messages about how he missed his family and he even wrote a few things about me. Not much, to my dismay, but he did mention me being callous and unrelenting and obdurate and other words I didn’t know the meaning of. I was pretty sure they all had the same related meanings and they were not things you’d want to be called. As I sifted through the pages, the words he wrote became less coherent and his word choices were questionable. As the words got shakier and not as well-constructed, the thoughts became more insane. He said that he’d seen the Onyx sailing through fog up ahead a few times and he was planning to try and get to it.

“Don’t read that part!”

Declan snatched the book out of my hand, looked at the page I was on and then looked at me as if I’d just read his deepest darkest secret.

“I’m…sorry,” I mumbled. “You never specified a stopping point.”

“Well, you’ve reached it.” He slammed the book onto the bench next to him. “I’m taking a nap.”

“Wow, I’m flattered that you felt the need to tell me.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s not like you talk to me at all. I’m surprised you bothered to update me on your schedule.”

“Well, you’re welcome. I didn’t know my actions were a topic that interested you.”

I didn’t quite know either. “I never said they were.”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” he blurted out suddenly.

I stared him. “You didn’t want to tell me what?” He looked down nervously, still twitching. “Declan, come on, we’re stuck on a boat together. Whatever secrets you think you have, you may as well come out with them. After all we probably won’t last another–”

“Will you shut your condescending mouth?”

That got me to shut my condescending mouth. “I’m sorry, do you have a problem?”

“I do have a problem.” He stood up and started pacing, causing our small boat to rock back and forth. It worried me slightly. “The entire time we’ve been stuck here you’ve been expressing your pessimistic, sardonic, wry opinions that frankly I don’t care about.”

“Declan, you’re–”

“We are two completely different people. That’s it. And when the differences between us are this prominent, they shouldn’t be thrown together, but since we’re forcefully stuck on this *** boat, we should at least be aware of the fact that our personalities don’t mesh and try to work with it. Let’s both be a little flexible, shall we?”

He’s trying to change me. “Declan, the boat–”

“And another thing–”

“Declan you’re shaking the boat!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

He plopped down on the bench which shook the boat even more, but he looked like he wasn’t planning for his crazed rant to stop.

“Declan, if I were you I would stop right there. When I saw you I wanted to row away as quickly as I could. I saved your life despite the fact that I really didn’t care. You better be *** thankful for that.”

“Well, let’s see Candace, if I had saved your life would you have shown any thanks at all?”

He hadn’t used my name since our first day together. “You need to calm down and realize you can’t change people so that your life can be more of a breeze.”

“I’m asking you to be flexible,” he said. “Is that a word in your tiny vocabulary?” He was looking at me with bloodthirsty eyes and I thought he was maybe considering killing me. With what, it was hard to know, but he seemed like the kind of guy to get creative when necessary. I actually started to feel sorry and guilty for putting him through everything. For forcing him to deal with me. But that is not something I have ever felt before. I never care about other people’s needs, but I seemed to for him, and I hated that. Suddenly, his eyes wandered to a spot behind me. His expression dropped and he started shaking again. Not the kind of shaking when you get angry, but the kind of shaking when you have an adrenaline rush. He grabbed his notebook and walked right past me, staring off into the fog up ahead.

He opened his book and started writing without looking. He just stared mindlessly into the fog, but he looked perplexed. He was staring at nothing. He was examining. What was he doing? He was still shaking, too.

“Declan, what was it you said you didn’t want to tell me?”

He didn’t answer me.

“Declan, out with it!”

I was expecting something really important and possibly day-changing but what I heard was somewhat disappointing in its pointlessness.

“I didn’t want to tell you that I saw the Onyx!”

“Declan are you kidding me? The Onyx is gone! Your family is gone! Sit down and get a grip!”

“Look over there if you don’t believe me.”

He pointed to where the fog was. There was nothing there.

“I don’t see anything, Declan–”

“Look!” He put his hand on my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine. His shaking fingers were practically digging holes into my flesh. I was tempted to flick his hand away but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I let my eyes follow his index finger and then I saw it. A ship-like shadow in the distance.

It wasn’t really a ship, but for someone as vulnerable as Declan, it could have passed as one. I wanted desperately to believe it was a real ship, and sometimes I would let myself slip into full-belief of its existence, but the part of me that hadn’t lost itself pulled me back up and slapped me across the face.

My first thought was to get us to it and seek help, but my gut was telling me not to for a reason unbeknownst to me. My brain was telling me to steer the boat into the fog and where the ship was, but every time the thought threatened to cross my mind, the side of me that managed to stay sane was vetoing the idea. Was it not a good idea?

But then I realized what was happening. “Declan…”

“My wife, my kids, they’re still alive.”

“Declan, even if that was the Onyx, your family is–”

“It is the Onyx!”

He lifted his arm and before I could figure out what he was going to do, I grabbed his wrist. The muscles in his arm were tense but they softened at my touch.

“Declan, I need you to listen to me.”

“Do you see it too?”

The truth was that I did see it. From what I’d seen of the Onyx, the two ships did look practically similar. The thing was that I didn’t really have the clearest image of the ship in the distance. Whatever Declan saw was probably more defined and visible. Either way, I knew better than to let a hallucination fool me.

“Declan, I see it.” His eye twitched. He had gone absolutely mad. “But you need to listen to me. I know what’s happening to you. You’re having a hallucination. It’s the weather, that’s it. It’s the light and the refraction in the water. It’s creating images that are messing with your head. Whatever you see isn’t actually there.”

“Why should I be listening to you?”

“Because my sanity right now is more reliable than yours and don’t you dare try to convince either of us otherwise.”

He walked to the other end of the boat. “I know you think I’m crazy, Candace.” That was the third time he’d used my name. “I see the way you examine me, and you feel sorry for me. You think I’m just some miserable family man who can’t take care of himself in a harsh situation, but I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“I do not feel sorry for you.” It was kind of true. I did pity him, but I don’t pity people. “Declan, even if it’s the last thing I do, I’m not letting you give into the hallucination. You’re going crazy, and now that you know that that’s what I think of you, I don’t have to hide it. You need to get ahold of yourself.”

“I’m not listening to you! I’m going after the Onyx whether you join me or not!”

I was losing patience very quickly. “Declan, that’s not the god***ed Onyx! Your family is not there! It’s all in your head! How are you gonna feel if and when you get to the ship and realize that I was right and you were wrong?”

He stared me dead in the eye for a good ten seconds. He took off his jacket and threw it at me before spastically diving into the water. My heart stopped.

“Declan!” I screamed. The current was becoming especially strong but he fought it with such determination. I wondered what it could have been like to love my family that much.

He couldn’t leave me. He just couldn’t.

He ignored me. His arms ripped  through the waves and his struggling legs splashed me with water, but this time I didn’t mind. I wasn’t going to let him succumb to the hysteria, but he wasn’t going to let me help him. It was impossible to see this ending well. He was already feet away. I had to think quickly, but no matter how quickly I thought, it was inevitable that he be swept away by the lie-infested current, leading him to a place he wanted desperately to go to, but wasn’t what he thought. And ultimately, he would realize this and go crazier. The idea of freedom was being dangled in front of him as a cruel joke made by the laws of physics. The fact that images like these appear and mess with one’s brain is horrible, and it was the last thing I would ever want.

It was the last thing I would ever want for Declan.

Declan, a man who’d lost his family, a man with obvious struggles, a man I genuinely pitied.

I was too busy over-analyzing to realize that Declan had already reached the deceiving fog. It pained me to watch as he gave in to his own delirium and achieved nothing when he thought he could achieve so much.

It was as if his body melted into the water and rode with the current, like he had been doing this for the past few miles. I think I kept staring in his former direction hours after he left, maybe even days, but time was a myth after you’d been on a lifeboat for this long.

It was weird to be alone after being accompanied for so long. My vocal chords felt like a swamp that had no uses anymore. With no one to talk to, I felt myself going mad, but I was self-aware and looked at it as if I were watching a show. When you’re alone in a compromised situation, it’s easy to create presences that are purely for the maintenance of your sanity, but really, those mere ideas of possible companionship are what drive you crazier.

Declan visits me at least twice a day. He can’t communicate, or stay longer than fifteen seconds, but he comes.

 

Minds of Empty – Chapter One

Entry 1) Flash Drive

 

An alarm went off at two. This could mean only one thing, someone was in the catacombs.  

Alex was stepping out of his room.

“How’s the guy lasted so long?” Alex asked.

“Different host each time. Whenever he gets shot, or he deems his body unfit, the demon just possess the unlucky person who picks up his flash drive. In other words, he’s still out there.”

“So the only way to kill him is to destroy the flash drive.”

“We aren’t sure if that’d work. He may have copies.”

“So no matter how many times we exorcise him, he’ll crawl right back from Hell.”

Cape Town’s criminals had adapted their drug industry to include cleaners, so much so that Cape Town had become one of the largest cities for what they sold… and these gangs were dangerous. Their leaders knew seemingly everything crime-related. Their underlings swore a pledge giving complete memory control. Slaves were also kidnapped and given fake testimonies. If they ever found out who they were, their memories were erased. The memories were given to their leaders, giving them the knowledge of entire gangs. The police used memory implants as a new technology. In Cape Town, memories were gold.

At 18:54 South African Time, a knock on the door could be heard. It was some a South African cop with a search warrant. Jacqueline was the one to answer it.

“Hello,” the officer greeted her with a thick African accent. “Is Nathan Daniels here?”

“Ya sure,” she said, pulling out her phone. “Give me just a second.”

With this opportunity, she used her phone to signal a lockdown in the facility.

“He’ll be right with you.”

As she walked away, the cop grabbed her arm. “Allow me to accompany you, little girl.”

“I wouldn’t want to take up too much of your time.”

“Oh, nonsense–”

He was cut off by her freeing herself and saying. “I’ll be under a minute.”

As she turned away, the gun concealed in her unzipped jacket became briefly visible.

“You’re not old enough to own one of those,” the cop said slyly.

“Laws can’t stand in the way of survivors.”

As she said this, she pulled out her pistol and pointed it at him.

“…and how long should this hold me off? Hours, days, weeks even. But there’s no chance in where I reside that it’ll stop me,” Jacob said, grabbing her throat, shoving her against a wall, and cutting off her oxygen. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be me, and so will your brother, and Alex, as well as the rest of you rats. There’ll be an army of me!”

“Says the guy who lived in the sewer for three months,” Alex commented. He had his shot gun cocked.

Jacob then released Jacqueline from his clutches and stared directly into the eyes of Alex, uttering, “Why must I make this speech? You simply can’t kill me. I am neither dead nor alive. I merely am and shall continue to be until the end of time.”

“If the whole entire universe is you, who will be around to fear you?” Nathan came in to ask.

“Perhaps I shall let a few unfortunate victims go, after all; wipe their memories clean. But in the meantime, it will bring me great pleasure in seeing my plague wipe out all that can remember.”

“And you start with us? People with no memory?” Alex laughed.

“What challenge will there be once we’re gone? Mob bosses and government officials?” Nathan asked with a hint of sarcasm.

“Good point, let’s mix things up shall we,” responded Jacob, grinning.

“Look pal, you’re not the only one who’s unlikable,” Nathan said, seeing the fear in Jacob’s eyes.

This made Jacob laugh, striking fear into all but Nathan.

“We’ll see about that.”

Jacob then pulled out his revolver and shot Nathan just below the heart.

Lost Star

She didn’t look back, she just kept running.

My sister was something different. I could remember from they day I met her in the hospital, her dark brown eyes met mine and I got a tickle in my stomach. Rachel always was looking to be someone different. Mom and Dad had separated when she was in first grade and this was the point in which Rachel’s anger built up. Each year we would pick out our Halloween costumes with our grandma, and Rachel would always run into the aisle and pick out the same Scream Mask and fish net stockings. Grandma would sigh, but didn’t want to get involved in her craziness. In second grade she had a best friend named Sarah, everyday they would run home lock the door and play and laugh for hours. Oh, our sweet little Rachel. As Halloween of third grade came around, Sarah no longer came over, something about “not agreeing on the same costume.” I didn’t see Rachel for a week after that, but the trail of Godiva chocolate wrappers through the hallway gave me the sense she was still there. Amongst Rachel’s differences, she loved me more than anyone in the world. On stormy nights she would nuzzle up against me in my bed and the sound of her breath was more powerful than the racket outside. Whenever Rachel would act up, we would lie on the roof and stare at the stars, hand in hand we would hum her favorite song. At school I would see Rachel alone, after school alone, but that time on the roof we had each other, she wasn’t alone.

Today is Rachel’s first day of highschool year, my junior year. I rush downstairs, eat a bowl of cereal, get dressed and grab my keys. Where was Rachel? I wait by the door, expecting her to be down soon. “Mom, where the heck is Rachel?” I holler. No response, maybe she’s out getting coffee. “Rachel!” I scream up the stairs.

“What…” travels down the stairs in a moan.

“It is the first day of school and you’re sleeping, that’s a great start, stupid.” Just then, Mom walks in the door and she insists I leave and she’ll drive Rachel to school when she’s ready. I was too confused, why did Rachel not care at all, what had gotten into her?

My jaw drops. My head fills with disbelief. This could not be my sister? Who has taken over her? I walk past her, “Rachel?” She’s dressed in black fishnet stockings, a short leather skirt, with black outlining her eyes. It seems as if her Halloween costume has become a reality.

Her earbud slips from her ear. ”Hey Fran,” she says, then drops her head and continues walking. The rest of the day I can’t concentrate, there is no way Mom let her out of the house like that, I remember the day I tried to a short dress to the school dance and Mom totally flipped out. Thank goodness I survived the day without seeing my new sister again.

That night at dinner she’s dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, I force myself to speak. “How was your day Rae?”

“Fine.”

“Any good teachers?”

“Yeah they’re chill.”

I finish my chicken and go to wash the dishes, she drops her plate in the sink and I don’t see her till the next morning. Mom is puzzled by our lack of conversation, it bothers me too.

Within a few weeks Rachel makes a new friend, Eden. Just like Sarah they run up the stairs and lock the door, except this girl is different from Sarah. Eden dresses with skulls and black, her ear is filled with earrings and her voice is low and raspy. They must have lost interest in our house because after a couple of weeks they no longer came over. I once caught a glimpse of them slipping behind the fence by school and that night Rachel wasn’t home till after ten. One night it rained, my baby sister didn’t come to lie next to me. I sobbed harder than the rain falling onto our roof, the roof where we would lie and stare at the stars.

I was worried for my sister. What angered me the most was that Mom didn’t seem to care. Was I kidding, Rachel would never care what Mom said. As I laid in bed, without knowing where or who my sister was, I decided I was going to have to talk to her.

I couldn’t spit it out, I stumbled on my words. But the second I saw her dark chocolate eyes, surrounded by that awful ring of black makeup, the words poured out. “Where did my loving, kind, funny sister go.” I waited for a response, she glanced up with nothing to say. “Rachel talk to me, I love you, I care.”

“Am I not allowed to be different because you don’t accept me? Oh pardon me, I’ll just become an exact copy of you, Mrs. Perfect. Just mind your own business anyways, mother,” she rolls her eyes.

This was the first time she had spoken to me like this. I walked away and up into my room. I wanted to be alone, like a star in the hushed night sky, something my sister would actually want to look up to. That night I dreamt of my sister’s personality being stolen from her heart. I woke in a cold sweat.

Breakfast was uncomfortable, I couldn’t dare look at her stinging eyes and obnoxious soul. I no longer cared for who she would become, I gave up. In the halls I would see her and her “gang,” cutting class, laughing, they never made eye contact with me. It still bothered me, but I pretended I didn’t care. Until the day she smelt of drugs.

It was a cool spring day, days like these me and my friend Hannah would meet in the park to study. I came home around five, and Rachel wasn’t home yet. Mom was at court tonight, her and Dad still had conflict over custody. Rachel walked in the door around 8:30, an hour over her weekday curfew. Classic Rachel taking advantage of our family problems. I left her a hamburger on the kitchen table, but the minute she got home she walked straight to her room. Just then I smelt it, the sharp stinging smell of weed.

I ran to her room in a humph. I stared into her eyes, the chocolate eyes that I saw when she was an innocent baby, the ones that often were surrounded by a ring of black and the ones that now are bloodshot. She looked at me sideways. “Leave me alone.”

“What, so you can just smoke in peace?”

She stumbled over the rug and tossed me a plastic bag filled with green leaves. “You need to chill girl, have some,” she had a low tone and slurred her words. I shrieked, ran out the door, slamming it behind me.

Mom walked in, to see me in the hallway crying, without saying a word I pointed towards Rachel’s door. She walked in and I could hear her gasp. Mom never really did anything about it, it’s what we all expected.

I couldn’t take it, my sister was ruining her life. When Rachel was in elementry school I remember when she came home with a 60% on a math test she really worked hard on and she came home and said, “I wish I could just die.” This frightened me, I stirred all that night thinking of my life without my sister. Just like the Halloween costume I felt this too was becoming a reality too. But this time I had to stop it.

Everytime I saw her I would stare in shame. “Your life is crumbling and you won’t listen to me, it’s just stupid and total bull ***.”

“I don’t care what you say, you mean nothing to me, I’m happy and that’s all that matters.”

“Shut the *** up with the excuses, you are killing yourself and I feel like I’m going down with you.”

It felt good to say it, it just came out. She stopped and looked up at me. She heard me that time.

“I’ve gotten into this Fran, I’m not gonna get out.”

“And I tried to stop you…”

“That’s my sister, my perfect, always right sister.”

The next morning she came down the stairs, a backpack slung over her shoulder. She tossed me a note. She didn’t look back she just kept running. I collapsed onto the floor. “If you don’t love me here, I need to find somewhere where I will be loved.” So this was all my fault. The drugs, the goth everything was on me. I got up and tried to run, I fell on the grass. I called Mom, “Mommy she’s gone, Rachel is gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“She ran, she’s gone.”

“Why didn’t you follow her?”

“Why didn’t you get involved in your daughter’s life?” I grabbed my keys and rushed into the car. I searched all over town, Mom left work and was searching also. I called Sarah, Rachel’s old best friend, she told me about who Rachel was hanging out with and where should could possibly be. I thanked her, hung up and began searching for the house’s of her friends.

It was four hours later when we found her. She was hiding at a friends apartment in the town over. When I found her, I was stunned. There she was, my baby sister, the one I thought I would never see again. She looked tired and dirty, I grinned at her, my heart thumped. When we got home Mom hugged her, then she went upstairs.

Ironically, it poured that night. I hear her light feet on the creaky floorboards. I moved to the left side of my bed and she slipped next to me. The sound of her breath put me to sleep, “I love you Rachel.”

“I love you too, Franny,” and then came the tears.

The rain still came down, but the stars were unseen.

Life, Death, and Rebirth (excerpt)

I woke up, trying to remember what had happened. It didn’t make any sense, that I had been lying on the ground three weeks ago and couldn’t remember why. I hadn’t been fed in a while. I didn’t recall how long. Every time the sun set, guards came into my cell and tried to get information out of me, and I always told the truth. I told them, I don’t know. Then, I got beaten and locked up again. My sweats and t-shirt were drenched in my blood and covered in dirt. I always thought about asking for a change of clothes, but I didn’t know how to put the clothes on. They looked like pictures in the big textbook (I thought that it was called that) which lay under my bed, ripped up and bloody.

More days passed by. Nothing happened, except for the usual routine. In the morning of what felt like my 50th day in the prison, a boy, who looked a couple years older than me, came in my cell.

“What’s your name?” he asked in a very grim voice.

I was silent. I tried to think. I couldn’t even remember my name. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

The boy looked at the guards, who shook their heads, and then he looked back at me. “Well, why don’t we give you a name, since you can’t remember yours.”

I just stared at him with a blank face.

He stared back. After a while, he spoke. “Why don’t we call you Phoenix?” said the boy. I cringed at the name. He then stood and gestured for me to stand. As I stood up, he nodded towards the door and muttered, “Let’s see how well he runs,” and swung a sword at my arm.

I jumped out of the way, but the sword grazed my shoulder and up my chest. As soon as the sword was out of the way, I sprinted towards the door. There were stairs, and three guys were already coming after me. I started skipping stairs and got out of the cellars.

As I got to the surface, a huge light blinded me, but I kept running. Soon, I got to a river. I started crossing and turned around. Huge groups of men in steel armour–either running or on horseback–were closing in. I hurried across the river and darted into the woods. I kept running, and when the sun finally started setting, I stopped. I found a hiding spot under a huge oak tree. As I sat there, I finally noticed how much the cut I got from the sword hurt. My blood-soaked shirt was turning black from all the blood. It hurt so much that it was hard to breath. I started losing consciousness. Before my vision went black, I saw a figure rushing towards me. It didn’t look like one of the knights, it looked like a regular person.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the ceiling of a small cottage. Then, I turned my head and found a girl. She looked about 16 years old. She was washing what looked like a piece of cloth. Without looking, she said in a very soft, gentle voice, “Good. You’re awake.”

The gown she wore was slightly ripped but looked perfect with her icy blue eyes. She turned her head and looked at me. She walked over, took a stool, and made me sit up. As I struggled painfully to move, she propped my back up with a gentle hand as the other grabbed a few pillows and put them behind me for me to rest on. She then took a wooden bowl filled with water and put it on the table next to the bed.

She dipped the cloth that she had been washing in the water and put it on my chest where the sword had left a deep gash. I made a rather pathetic sound, but it portrayed the pain I was in.

She rested a hand on my chest next to the gash and whispered, “I know.”  

Her hair fell over shoulders in silky auburn waves. I looked into her soft eyes and didn’t take my eyes off them. It was as if I was being controlled to look into the depths of her eyes. After what felt like at most a few seconds, she got up and took the pot of water, which now looked like a pot of cherry Kool-aid, and went to the sink.

All of a sudden, a surge and images flashed through my mind. One of them was the book I had left in the cell. Another was me standing in front a group of  kids in single tables, there was also an older person with a clipboard. The room was covered with big pieces of paper with men like the ones chasing me. I suddenly started to remember things.

My name is Liam Cadmon Waterfield. I am 16 years old. I live in Manhattan, New York…

The girl turned and looked at me worried.

“I’m fine,” I gasped. Then stood up. As I did, someone broke the door down, and the boy from the cellar who gave me my new name barged in.

“What are you doing with him, Adrienne?” the boy said.

The girl retorted, “ Dillon, doesn’t he look familiar?” Tears started running down Adrienne’s eyes.

Dillon looked at her with eyes that gradually started to soften. “Oh, beloved sister. I know it hurts, but that isn’t him. This is a fugitive!”

“It is! Can’t you see? Cadmon came back!” Adrienne cried. Dillon looked blankly at her. “You loved him like a brother! How could you forget him?” Adrienne screamed and stretched her hand to touch my side. She then started pushing me back towards the bed.

Dillon stared at me with a hint of hatred. He then looked back at Adrienne. He walked forward until he was right in front of Adrienne, who was pressed against me, against the wall. “That, is not Cadmon. He is gone. Cadmon left us, you, for the war. He never came back. Understand? Cadmon isn’t coming back.” Then Dillon looked at me and said, “I want this guy back where he came from.” Dillon gave me a savage look and walked out of the cottage.

Adrienne was sobbing. She turned around, pressed herself against me, and cried into my chest. I didn’t know what to other than wrap my arms around her. She started muttering something that I couldn’t hear. Then the cottage as well as a crying Adrienne started to dissolve. As everything started going black, I heard a voice in my head saying, “Cadmon, come back for me.”

When I woke up, I was in what looked like my old bedroom. I got up, opened the door, went down the stairs, and found my parents sitting at the kitchen table, looking out the window. They didn’t say a word. They both stared into the darkness with teary eyes. I suddenly made the ground creak and the they both turned. They stared at me for ten minutes without budging and then rushed forward and embraced me in a huge bear hug. I normally would have minded, but this was all I needed right now. Both my parents showing affection towards me, something I hadn’t had in a long time.

Mom was crying into my shoulder while Dad was squeezing me tight. I suddenly felt a surge of pain. I cried out, and they both go of me and looked at me with startled expressions. I looked down at the gash that went across my chest. It had opened again. As soon as my parents realized, they panicked.

“Liam, what happened to you?” my mother cried as my dad reached for the phone.

I couldn’t say anything, all I could think about was how much pain I was in. My mother was still trying to talk to me when the paramedics came. My mom reluctantly moved aside while my dad explained that I came home looking like that.

I spent a couple weeks in the hospital and then went back to school. Before I stepped in the doors of the school, I remembered all the beatings I had gotten right where I was standing. Someone bumped into me. I turned and thought I saw Dillon.

He looked at me with disdain and said, “Watch where you’re going, freak.” Then he walked away.

I remembered that I was the history freak of the school. I went into the school, dreading every step I took. I got through the day without having too much trouble. Most of the guys who had bullied me looked at me like they were actually relieved that I had come back.

As I walked to history, I realized that I had a presentation, and I didn’t have my textbook. I walked in the classroom and sat down.

“Ah. Liam. You’re back,” my teacher said.

I just nodded.

“Why don’t you give the presentation that was due almost a month ago?” she said.

I reluctantly stood up and walked to the front of the class. As everyone started sitting down, I stared at a poster which had a guy on it who looked like me, except at the bottom it said, The Great Cadmon. The last person who walked in was a girl. She looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place her. She had beautiful icy blue eyes and shoulder-length silky auburn hair. She looked at me and smiled. It was brief, but there was a connection, I think. I swallowed. As all the students stared at me, I started talking. I mentioned medieval times and how guards were dressed. Then, I went into how prisoners were treated. When I was done, everyone clapped, as usual, and I went shyly back to my seat.

While we were learning about the crusades, someone poked me in the back. I turned and found the girl sitting behind me.

“Hey,” she said, “I loved your presentation. It was pretty cool. Umm… can you tutor me? I just moved here, like, a couple days ago. I didn’t learn the same curriculum.”

I didn’t know what to say. I nodded.

She then smiled and said, “Great! Can I have your number so that I can call you?”

We exchanged numbers, and then the bell rang.

As I was packing up, she whispered, “By the way, my name is Adriana.”

I smiled as she left. It was very rare for a guy like me to get asked to tutor a girl, especially one like her.  I walked out of the classroom feeling proud of myself and saw Adriana with the guy that looked like Dillon. She looked at me and called me over. As I walked over, the guy turned to me.

“This is my twin brother Damon,” she said.

Damon looked at me and nodded his head. “Hey.”

I replied with a, “Hey.”

Damon didn’t seem to like me very much. Later in gym, Damon came up to me as I sat down on the bleachers.

“Hey, why aren’t you playing?” he asked.

I looked up and gestured towards my shoulder, where there a gigantic wrap went across my chest and around my left shoulder.

“Wow. Where did you get that?”

I didn’t know how to explain that. I could have said, “The past you gave it to me. He picked up a sword and swung it at my face,” but I just shrugged. As soon as I did, I had to wince. My shoulder felt like it was being stabbed with a thousand needles. Damon just stood there and stared at me with a blank expression. I looked back at him and started to get up.

Suddenly, he grabbed me by the shoulder and threw me back down into the bleachers. “Look freak, I don’t like you. But since my sister does, I’m going to tell you this: if you ever hurt my sister, you won’t live to see your next day. Understand?”

I was so shocked and full of pain that I couldn’t say anything.

“Do you understand?” Damon yelled.

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Everyone was crowding around to see what was going on. There was a wail and, as I turned my head, I saw a glimpse of Adriana pushing her way through the crowd of people. One of the football players pulled Damon off me as another went to help me get up. I was in so much pain that I could barely breathe.

Adriana ran up to me and knelt down next to me. “Are you okay?” she asked. Her voice was quivering and tears were pouring down her already swollen eyes.

I tried to nod, but there was no point in lying. I was not okay. I needed to go to the hospital.

Keys

Keys — Life is Just a String of Keys

My fingers traced along the keys making a slow, soft melody. I don’t really remember what I was playing, something famous, maybe Swan Lake, but that wasn’t important. I remember the cool feeling as I touched the smooth keys. I was wearing a dress I think, something white, white and purple. The whole room smelled of lilacs and my music flowed out of the keys into the eager audience’s ears. It was a good recital, not that it matters, not now. I remember that last note I struck, it was a C#, and the note hung in the air, the piece didn’t seem finished, and it wasn’t supposed to be. There was a bang, a loud bang, but after that there was only silence. They took me to the hospital. I remember the flashing lights, they were red. I remember laying motionless, my hand bloodstream stopped for a moment, wanting to speak, and I could have, but I couldn’t find the courage. Hushed whispers in the hospital. The doctor and my parents talking. And now here. Trying to fall asleep in this plastic covered hospital bed. My hand laying motionless beside me, fingers limp, pale and lifeless. Never to be used again was what I heard the doctor say. Finally, I remembered the writhing pain when the piano cover slammed on my hand, the hand that was once a hand. As a bellybutton is worthless after you’ve been born, my hand is worthless after it’s been crushed.

The room smells of medicine, fake water, acids to put inside people, to help them. No natural cold water, nourishing to the touch. The wallpaper has teddybears on them, creepy teddy bears holding hearts. I don’t like it. There is no music, the place is dead, cold, silent. I’m going home tomorrow. They’ve done as much as they can, they say. They say. How different it will feel to be home, to see the piano I once played sitting there, reminding me on everything i’ve lost. Reminding me of that day, that fateful day.

I wake up to the nurse’s face hovering over mine, smiling  and cooing as if I was a baby. I was awake most of last night, thinking. The nurse grabs a red plastic tray and puts it on my lap. I see a loaf of stale bread, pudding, and some sort of nectary, sticky juice. I push the tray away. The nurse pulls a clementine from behind her back. She speaks, but to me, she doesn’t say a word. I don’t care enough to listen. I just want to go home. I still take the clementine and peel it. It is juicy. I smile at her. I feel like a child who lost their voice.

My parents stayed in a hotel near the hospital. The airport was nearby. They sat on the edge of my bed and told me about how they heard planes whooshing by all night. It’s nice to know that i’m not the only one who barely slept last night. I knew they wanted me to speak, as they looked at me with anxious eyes brimming with hope. I felt so sick, even though I wasn’t. Not talking made everything seem so much worse. But I couldn’t bring myself to speak, I couldn’t.

They took me to the car. When I got up and took a step, it felt wobbly, almost like the legs I was standing on weren’t mine. As I exited the hospital and smelled the fresh air, it felt like I had woken up from a nightmare. It was a cloudy day. The sky was full of gray blotches. As I put one foot into the car, It began to rain. Cold, wet raindrops fell down to the ground, pouring themselves towards everything, like tiny cannonballs. The nurse and the doctor, crouched down trying to stop themselves from getting wet, they all beckoned for me to get into the car. I slowly drew my foot out, and looking up at the sky, I smiled. I smiled, I laughed. I laughed.
It stopped raining. They helped me into the backseat of the car. As we drove away, I rolled open the window and watched as the hospital waved goodbye. My parents didn’t talk for the whole time. I liked the silence. It made it seem less unnatural for me to not talk. As we rolled down Maple Street. Memories began to flood into my mind. Things that I could never do anymore. I could never ride my skateboard, the doctor said it was too much of a risk, no more Friday family bike rides, no more piano. I closed the window and looked straight at the gray seat in front of me. There was no point of looking at something I could never enjoy in the same way. The seat in front of me never changed. Sure, it can be shifted forwards and backwards, but it was something you could always count on to never take you by surprise when you looked at it. Maple Street was full of surprises.

As we pulled into the driveway and my mom accounted that we were home in a bright, cheery voice. I wasn’t as excited as I thought I would be. When I swung open the chestnut wood door and looked inside, everything looked different. I had known before that living at home would never be the same, but looking at the things I had always appreciated in life made me have almost no feeling towards them. I ran into the living room looking for the big black piano that once stood there, but it was gone. A lead weight dropped to the bottom of my stomach and I turned to my parents for explanation. They looked guiltily at each other and told me that they got rid of it. The said that they didn’t want me to see it and be upset about what I had lost. They said that I couldn’t play anymore. They said there was no point.

I remembered. I was 2. It was Christmas. Under the tree was a keyboard- a baby keyboard in a big red ribbon. The first time I ever struck a note was that day. It was a C#. By the time I turned 4, I had memorized the whole keyboard. I could name any note and play it. I played simple songs until I was 5. Symphonies came between 6 and 7. That was when I got a grand piano. Recitals came at 8. Awards. Ribbons. First place. Second. Practicing everyday at age 9. Then one more recital. Still 9. No more piano.

I should have ran upstairs and slammed the door to my room in my parent’s faces, but I only had one hand. So, I slowly walked, step by step up the staircase and into my room. My room had always been painted light purple. I had always told my parents how much I wanted red walls, red, my favorite color. Right now, I couldn’t care in the least what color my walls were. But when I stepped into my room, the walls were painted bright firetruck red. The color of the paint sample I showed my parents every time we went into a hardware store. They had always said, maybe someday. I looked around my red, blushing room and into the white mirror on the wall. I smiled. My room looked like me. I saw in the mirror my red bushy hair, my blue eyes, my freckles, and I saw this beautiful red, and I smiled. Red was the color of love, of life, of fireworks, red sparks flashing in the sky, deep red was the color of everything mixed together to make a murky, lazy mixture of beauty and blood. I was red.

I took a nap. I don’t know how long I slept, I didn’t know what time I fell asleep, but I woke up to a dark window, my arm pulsing in pain under the bandage. On the foot of my bed was a typed note and my old baby keyboard. The note said-

We’re sorry honey

Found this in the garage

Love, Mom and Dad

I felt the keys with my one hand, and the pain stopped in the other. I began to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with one hand. It sounded like an elephant stepping on my keyboard, all the right notes, sounding wrong. The song felt incomplete without the harmony. The melody needs something else. The melody needed the other hand. I wanted to get out of bed and slam the keyboard to the ground, but I couldn’t, not with one hand. I lay back, closed my eyes and they filled with tears. I wanted to wipe them away but I didn’t have enough hands. I fell asleep with dried tears on my face.

When I opened my eyes, my mom was sitting on the right side on the bed, and my dad on the left. They were both looking worried, but relief flashed through their faces when I sat up in bed. I could tell right away what my mom was thinking, thank god she’s not dead. How weak did they think I was! Then I remembered, I was so weak, I couldn’t even pull up the feathery covers from my bed. Helping me out of bed was the hard part, as they could only hold one of my hands. The hospital gave us some chair that can be raised up so I can just scoot into it to get off my bed. As I hopped down to the floor, I smelled eggs and bacon cooking in a pan downstairs. As I sniffed, I glanced at my parents and saw them mouthing to each other. When they noticed me looking at them, they helped me downstairs muttering something to me in muffled voices.

My parents sat me down in a chair and started feeding me. I tried to pull their hands full of spoons away from me, I didn’t want to have to be fed. I can’t be this helpless. I tried to tell them to stop, but I didn’t speak or say a word. They shoved more and more food into my mouth, stuffing me like a turkey. I started pushing with my one hand more violently, they were feeding me too fast. They didn’t get the message. I tried to get up from my chair but they still didn’t understand. It was… it was scary. Scary knowing that my parents could accidentally hurt me. Finally, they understood. I was helped up and I slowly walked into the downstairs bathroom, crying. I felt like a stupid baby. I had to be fed, and cared for, and everyone had to always watch me. I just wanted my life back. So there I sat, in the bathroom crying, making everything feel more babyish than it did already.

Once I lowered the sound of my crying, I heard my parents talking in the kitchen, saying something about how it’s not safe for me to not want to talk, something about taking me to therapy. I took a deep breath, and stepped out of the bathroom. Looking my parents right in the eye, I sat down, and using my one working hand, I spooned the hot eggs into my mouth. My parents stared at me in awe, and I finished up my plate and slowly walked my way upstairs into my room.

My parents barely said anything to me after that all day. I think they were embarrassed for thinking that I was so helpless. I found a way to feed my cat, Barley one-handed. I guess for everything now, I have to find a way. Some things though, are better off left alone. I’m trying to not think about this, but deep inside, I don’t think it’s bad that my parents got rid of my piano. I have to learn to cope without it. Maybe, well maybe. I don’t know. Maybe if I can eat one-handed, I can play one-handed. Really, I know this is not possible. It’s better off left alone.

After my parents said goodnight, I didn’t really go to sleep. I clumsily tried to take a box from under my bed. It took me a minute, but once I pulled it out, I found a way to slide it open and take out my scrapbook. I slid onto the chair and put my foot on the “raise” pedal. After laying in bed comfortably, or semi-comfortably, I used my one hand to turn the first page of the book. There were pictures of the first time I rode my skateboard, when I fell off and broke my leg. There was a picture of me in the hospital, surrounded by flowers and friends, with a laughing smile on my face. There was a picture of everyone signing my cast. I closed the book. Maybe that’s what I needed. I looked so happy in that picture, yet I was injured. Yes, it wasn’t as serious as this, and yes, I was only 6, but I could at least try, try to be happy.

I woke up the next morning with the scrapbook open on my lap, no covers on me. My parents weren’t there. I looked at the alarm clock and saw that the time was 9:00 AM. Something wasn’t right. My parents told me they would wake me up every morning. I crept out of my room and saw my mom sleeping peacefully in their bed, but my dad was gone. I shivered and crept down the staircase slowly, but stopped as I noticed my dad in a red robe standing by the window. I crouched to the ground and watched as my dad turned around. He was smoking a cigarette with a black tip. He dropped it to the ground and grounded it with his foot. He walked over to the computer and hesitantly began to type an email. Closing the computer, he headed towards the staircase. I tried to crouch lower so he wouldn’t see me, but it was too late. He gave me a look that had no definite expression, and saying nothing, he picked me up and carried me back into my room.

I’ve never seen my dad smoke before. I don’t really know what to think. What if…? No, I tell myself, pushing the thought away. I knew I needed something to distract me from life itself. Things were getting way too complicated. My mom slowly walks into my room and sits down next to me on my bed. She is silent and so am I. Then she wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight squeeze for no reason, or for every reason. She holds on tight, and when it seems like she will never let go, she does. She looks at me with a small smile and brushes my red hair away from my eyes. I watch as my mom walks over to my drawer and takes out a red sequined shirt and gold shorts. After helping me put them on, she leaves the room, still smiling in a strange way. She seems to be hinting for me to follow her, so I do. I follow her to the staircase, but then she steps aside allowing me to see… Lulu. Lulu. Lulu the angel. Lulu the perfect doll. Lulu, the girl with the long blonde hair. Lulu the perfect. Lulu the gentle. Lulu the sensitive. Lulu the sincere. Lulu, my best friend. I race down the stairs, while my mom looks at me in horror, worried I will trip and fall. Lulu runs to the bottom of the staircase to meet me, and we awkwardly hug, or at least try.

I wish I was ready, ready to talk, to tell Lulu everything, about my life, my problems, everything I’ve cried about and laughed about since I last saw her. Last saw her… My face changes from daylight to darkness. When I last saw her. At my piano recital. She hands me her rose bouquet, not understanding my change in mood. Red roses. My favorite. I throw them to the ground with my one hand, and run back upstairs. I don’t know what excuses my mom gave for my “rude behavior” to Lulu and her parents. I don’t know what time Lulu left, and I don’t know if she cried- but knowing Lulu, she probably did. I felt guilty right after it. I ran downstairs and clumsily picked up the roses. She had just been trying to be a good friend. I felt like my heart shattered like a stained glass window. I had been so rude… rude to my best friend. A little light bulb popped into my head. I ran into the kitchen where my mom was sitting. She got up right when I ran into the room. I stood and pointed to the fridge, so she opened it for me. I took out butter, flour, apricots, eggs, and milk, and then took grandma’s apricot pie recipe from the recipe box. I think my mom got the point from that. My mom started mixing the pie crust batter. I sighed. There was no way I could help after my accident. Suddenly, my mom handed me a wooden mixing spoon and told me to mix the batter. I looked at her confused. How could I use this with only one hand? My mom looked at me meaningfully and told me to try. I held onto the spoon with my hand and began to swirl the mixture in the bowl. A spark inside my soul lit up as the struggle to mix became easier. Maybe everything would be alright. If I could do this, who knows what else I could do.

Once the pie was done, the whole room smelled of sweet, hot apricots and crispy crust. I took it all in and cracked a hidden smile. My mom said that she would give the pie to Lulu’s mom the next day. The phone ring and my mom answered it. She handed the phone to me. It was Beatriz. Beatriz was my other best friend. She didn’t know about what had happened to me. I now know that Beatriz didn’t know that what she said would hurt me. I wish I could have realized it then. As I answered the phone, I pictured Beatriz sweeping her long black hair behind her shoulders and holding the phone, her nails painted bubblegum pink. Beatriz’s biggest fault had always been not knowing the difference between funny and mean. This wasn’t this time. This time, she would have understood why I hung up, if she had only known. When she started her sentence I knew it would result in disaster. Right after she said in a squealing excited voice that she got into the Juilliard young people’s orchestra. Beatriz was a great piano player too. She applied to the Juilliard young people’s orchestra as the piano player. She didn’t know that I applied too. After she said it, all my anger bubbled up to the top of my stomach and I slammed the phone down. Right after she said the words that took the smile off my face.

I stormed upstairs, my mom looking up at me confused after not hearing what I heard on the phone. So I guess I’m not good enough. I wouldn’t have even gotten in if I could play the piano. Beatriz would have been the piano player in any situation. I locked myself in my room not listening to my parents knocking on the door loudly asking me if I was ok. I was not ok. I began sobbing. I kicked my baby keyboard to the floor stepping on it, crying tears of red lava. All the keys fell out all over the floor, a tangle of white and black rectangles. That’s all they are, just stupid rectangles. Life is just a string of stupid keys. I ripped my piano posters from the walls, sent my trophies crashing to the ground, and threw all my ribbons away.

And then I smiled. All my piano worries and thoughts seemed to whisk away from my head. Not quickly, but slowly. Each thought taking its own time. I had nothing left anymore to remind me of what I used to love. I didn’t need piano anymore, I need something that I could use. I had to stop pretending as if my hand injury had never happened.  I knew it more than ever now. I could never play the piano again. And what surprised me about this was how happy I was. I felt like a burden, a weight came off my shoulders. I realized that I just need to find a way, just like I was for everything else. I had to find something else I could do, there had to be something that did not involve using my hand.

I raced out of my room and down the stairs.

“C#,” I said laughing.

I passed my parents looking at me wide-eyed as I ran by. I’m not really sure if they followed me, I wasn’t looking behind me. All I knew was that I had to try that pie. It was important that I did, after all I can’t bake if I’m bad at it. Something about that moment when my mom handed me the spoon and when I realized that I really could do things with my hand felt really magical. Maybe that’s what I’m looking for, a little magic. I didn’t know if I could be good at baking, if I could ever have a chance, but if I had never tried piano who knows where I would be now? Who knows if I would have realized that life is just a string of keys? There are high notes and low notes, but the most important thing is what you take them as. I’m not perfect, but I’m sure glad. I’m not saying that I wish I had my hand injury in the first place, but it’s the little moments, looking at my scrapbook, seeing my friends happy about things that I wanted, finding secrets I didn’t know about people in my family that really make life up. This is my story, what’s yours?

James Potter II and the Lake of Dreams

The story of James Potter II, Harry Potter’s son.

 

Chapter 1

 

“Mr. Potter.”

“Yes?”

“Do you know what you have done?!”

“Um… Well I just blew up the Slytherin commons and now it’s wet, but nothing that big.”

 

That’s me. And I am not HARRY Potter for those of you reading, I am James Potter II, his son. James Potter was my grandfather. It has been great having my dad be the famous Harry Potter. We get to enjoy more little things, such as treacle tarts. The hard part is that our weekends are taken up by Quidditch or signing at Diagon Alley. But before we get to the blown up Slytherin commons room, I need to start where we left off.

 

I’m riding the Hogwarts Express, the same one my dad rode for seven, no, five years. Of course, the Train is a lot older than him, but it became a tourist attraction after the defeat of the Dark Lord. But it is still being used for and to the way to Hogwarts. In my cabin are Teddy Lupin, Victoire Weasley, Frank Longbottom, Rose Weasley and Xavian Lovegood. Of course, these were all my dad’s friends’ children. Weasley, Longbottom, and Lovegood. We were forced to play with each other because our weekends were taken up by them. They each were famous, but since I was Harry’s son, I always got the most attention. Now, let me fast forward to when we got there.

 

When we arrived, we all left our compartments. The train looked like a normal train from the outside, so it could blend in. Platform 9 ¾ was blown up by Indian terrorists. Reconstruction of the Platform had started but not yet finished. From the inside, it was luxurious. Everything was made out of gold. The curtains were made out of gold silk, the walls were solid gold, the flooring was golden tiles, and the seats were made of gold fabric. Hogwarts was the best place I’ve ever been, almost. Nothing compares to home, I mean nothing. You know that feeling you get at home, but you can’t describe it? That’s why I like home. My dad always used to say that Hogwarts was his first real home, but now that Dudley was on his own, his house was way better. We go there every month, this was partially because Dudley didn’t know how to take care of his 6 year old daughter named Juliana, who was, ironically, a witch. (My dad thought this was funny considering their family history). I don’t know why he finds it funny, I don’t bother reading his books about his life. I can learn them from a firsthand account. Not those biased books such as Reeta Skeeter, Rita Skeeter’s own child. Okay, back to topic now. His second home was the Burrow, where he practically spent all breaks. We go there every Christmas, but I personally find it crowded. Not boring, just crowded. It still looks like the old Burrow, but a lot larger. With more money comes more… land. Mrs. Weasley wanted to have a bigger house than the one she lived in. The Burrow has expanded into an eight by nine miles piece of land, which has 72 square miles, FOR A HOUSE.  Then, there was another 166 square miles of mowed grass. With the very extended family, including the Delacours, Potters, Weasleys, Grangers, Hurgelsons, etc. There are about 100 people there on family reunions and 30 people normally. A house, even extending 72 square miles, for a house, looks like it is giving birth with 30 people inside.

 

When we reached Hogwarts, we entered the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall was the new headmistress. She had taken over Dumbledore’s seat.

“The four words of this year are: Sporcle, Gawp, Finnigan, and DUMBLEDORE!!” Everybody cheered at the last word. Everyone knew about how Dumbledore had kept He-who-must-not-be-named. Now he was honored as Order of the Morgan, even higher than Order of the Merlin. All of a sudden, I turned back to the table and gasped. The table was now filled with bowls of mashed potatoes, chicken, and foods I didn’t even recognize. The glasses were filled with pumpkin spice or butterbeer. The mood became festive, and everyone was filling their plates with food.

McGonagall said, ”Don’t try to take any food, our spells will tell us if you try to sneak food out. People always want a little… erm… midnight snack.”

To my left, Frank Longbottom, my friend and a third year said, “Someone will always try to take food out, make sure it isn’t you. Doxies will move in and then destroy your place. Then they have to clean it out and that costs House points and a few Galleons.”

 

I moved around, sitting next to people who had to see the famed James Potter II, Harry’s son. People kept asking me to sit next to them. In the end, I sat next to Teddy, Victoire, Rose, and Darwin. Darwin was my friend, he was a first year (just like me) and he didn’t just like me because of fame. That was one of the downsides of having a famous dad, everyone wanted to be your friend in order to share the fame. He didn’t know that I was famous when we first met. We became best friends, comparing our favorite Magick cards, the best card game around.

 

When we were all finished eating, more food appeared. The desserts included treacle tart, steak and kidney pudding, tripe, and a few more varieties.

“What is this?” I asked, poking at a jelly like dessert that kept jiggling.

“That’s Jumping Jon’s special, broccoli gelly.” answered Darwin. I frown. “Oh, I keep forgetting you’re Wizard-born. Broccoli is a vegetable and jelly is like treacle tart, but with no flavor.”

“Who would eat that? I eat wizard foods.” I asked. Darwin shrugged and took a bite of treacle tart. By the time dessert had finished, 16 people had thrown up, 12 had turned into frogs, and 8 people had been breathing fire (courtesy of Fred and George Weasley’s Joke shop). Of course, the fire set the tables aflame but with a few aguamenti, the fires were easily put out.

 

McGonagall looked unsurprised, she just said, “It’s time for the Sorting!” This stopped all the commotion, except for the burning fires on the Slytherin tables.

Aqua Eructo!” shouted Kunok, the Head of the Slytherin’s, who have become a “civilized bunch” according to his dad. “Now, with no further interruptions, let’s begin the Sorting!”

Everyone burst into cheers, except the first years. Darwin and I just sat there, wondering what House we would be sorted into. We both wanted Gryffindor but we were not sure what we would be Sorted into. The Sorting Hat was on a stool that magically appeared. Everyone waited for the Sorting Hat to start singing, but it didn’t. Talking starts again, all about the same subject: What happened to the Sorting Hat? Rose said, “What happened? Will we be Sorted? What if we can’t? What if we have to leave this year? What if we can’t start? What if we have to start next year?” Leave it to Rose to find the worst case scenario.

“Enough with the what-if’s” I told her.

“Everyone, calm down!” Headmistress McGonagall said. “The Sorting Hat seems to be out of function, we will be Sorting everyone by the old tests!” The whole Hall erupted in groans and mutters.

“Test?!” everyone shouts, but none louder than the first years. McGonagall whacked her table with her wand, which had turned into  a ruler. Everyone quieted down, the smack was magically amplified. “I wish for all non first years to leave the hall, when they are finished testing, you can come back in.”

“What do you think the tests will be like?” I asked Darwin and the rest of the others. They all shrugged. So far, the Sorting Hat had always been enchanted according to Hogwarts, a History.

“A book has failed her for the first time” whispered Teddy.

“Shut up” Rose said but she turned very red in the cheeks.

Instead of a test on a paper, they made an illusion of a situation, and based on how you acted to that situation, they placed you in your House.

“Potter, James” called out Professor Neville. I walked up, with butterflies in my stomach, and almost threw up a few times. But I got there.

Neville got straight to the point, “The test consists of three parts. In each part, you will need to react to the situation. The way you react will determine your House.” His face softened, “Ready? Remember this is not real.” I entered the room.

What I recommend for taking the Hogwarts House test: Don’t. Even when you have a wand and know a few spells, you’re most likely to go crazy. The first part is a real test. Like a write-on-a-scroll test with a timer that explodes if you don’t finish. It just has questions like, “What would do in this situation?” with a video picture on top. Some of them were about saving people, a no brainer. Others were about what flavor of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans you would prefer. I finish, barely. They give you 30 minutes to complete a 340 question test. Thankfully, they let us use Quick-Notes pens, which were related to Quick-Quotes Quills, but they were pens, and they just wrote what you said. So, instead of my hands being sore, my mouth was. They then gave me a break, about two minutes, which I used to drink water.

 

Tips on Part 2 of the test: Don’t even. Even with your wand and knowing a few spells, you’re most likely to go even more crazy. The second part of the House test was a simulation. They made things called semblances, which are actually illusions, made by a spell. This spell was illusio, which creates a semblance of your liking. I remember the time my dad cast one. The spell was hard, so hard my dad went unconscious for a few days. Of course we could have always bought a house elf, but my dad felt as if that was unjust. He had been fighting for elf rights when he was in Hogwarts. Back to the simulation. On my right hand side appeared a girl. On my left hand side appeared a dementor. The girl cried out, but I was paralyzed with fear. Dementors were the worst, after the fall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Dementors were put back in Azkaban, but not as guards, they were in prison. Now semblances guarded them. My hand shaking, I shouted, “Expecto Patronum!” A weak silver hedgehog appeared, and quickly faded. My dad made me learn how to cast a Patronus because of his problems with them. The dementor sucked the happiness out of both of us. The world turned black, and the only thing I thought was, “Is this real?”

 

I woke up in the hospital wing. I saw on the table next to me get well cards from Darwin, Teddy, Victoire, and Rose. Along with them were a variety of treats. I started eating a Chocolate Frog. That made me feel better. Surprisingly, I wasn’t injured. Only my head hurt. Madame Pomfrey (the other Madame Pomfrey’s Daughter) saw me and said, “Good you’re awake.” She looked uncomfortable. “You….um….. have to go see Professor McGonagall, she needs to tell you your House and what class you’re supposed to be in.” My heart stopped, and then I groaned. I had forgotten that classes started the day after the Sorting.

 

I walked up to the Headmistress’s Office. The gargoyles immediately sprang up and  reveal the hidden staircase. I walk up the stairs and open the door…

It Was An Odd Beast

“It was an odd beast,” the York family said when their dog came back in the house with a blue looking animal all chewed up. The dog, Cammy, was wagging her tail as if nothing happened. The family did not know what to do, blood was all over the floor from this strange looking beast the dog had chewed up. The family called a specialist, but he said that he had never seen anything like this before. The family cleaned it all up before the dog started chewing it up more. They were a bit scared, especially for the dog, because what if the animal was poisonous? The mother of the family called the vet, even though he probably couldn’t do that much because nobody in Connecticut or the world had ever experienced this animal before.

That night they were all too scared to go to bed. In the middle of the night they heard something outside. They all froze to listen. It sounded like birds chirping, except worse. Finally they looked outside and saw hundreds of the beasts that the dog had chewed up. They were all the size of a duck, but were bright blue in the shape of a frog with teeth. They were so scared because there were hundreds of them. The father asked very nervously, “Where did they all come from?” The little girl and boy, Allie and Sam, did not know. They just hid under the covers in their parents’ room.

Then the mom asked, “Where did the dog go?”

They all said “Oh no!” and headed downstairs to see if he was in his bed, but he was not there! They were so scared. Then the father looked out the window and saw the weird looking beasts all huddling around something that looked brown and white!

The dad screamed, “That’s our dog!”

The mother looked confused and said, “What are you talking about?”

The dad, almost speechless, just pointed out of the window to show her the beasts crowding the dog.

The mom said, “What should we do!? We need to keep the kids inside before they see the dog because they will start crying.”

“I need to go get him,” said the father.

He grabbed a kitchen knife and slowly opened the door.

“Be careful honey!” said the mother.

“I will,” said the father.

As he stepped outside, the beasts looked straight at him and all ran away except for one that headed straight towards him, as if he were about to bite on to him, but as he saw the knife heading towards him he ran away toward the group. The dog was finally free, but his hair was all messed up from the beasts biting him. He was shaking and looked out into the distance where the beasts had run off to. The father picked him up to go inside. The mother was shocked, and thankful nobody was hurt. The mother didn’t even recognize the dog because of his fur that was all tangled and wet from the beasts’ mouths. The stayed up all night with the dog to make sure he was ok, but he fell asleep and so did they eventually.

The next morning the dog looked so bad and dirty that they took her to the groomer. The groomer was shocked, but said, “She’ll look good when it’s done.”

Indigo Snow

This story is a fantasy about a solar system with only two planets. One is called Alasia, and the other is called Anesia. In this Universe, some people get magical powers. Everybody, however, has to prove that they are advanced enough to keep their power. They do this by getting the highest, or second highest, score on an exam that they take when they are 13. If you have a power, you get to live on Alasia. It is a much prettier planet with lots of high-paying jobs and good opportunities. Anesia is more like our world. There are some people who have lots of money and live very well, but most people are working-class. Nobody who lives there has a power. The form of government for this world is a monarchy. I hope that you enjoy this excerpt from the story!

 

Ember Wind

You can call me a triple agent.

I started hating Indigo before I even met her. She was basically a five-year-old celebrity. At first, I wanted to be just like her. Rich, famous, cool — but then I learned that it goes to your head. Manipulates your thoughts. Changes your attitude. Makes people always ready to criticize you.

I didn’t want that.

On the first day of school, everybody was surrounding Indigo and her family. They were saying how adorable she was in her little pigtails and bright pink dress. She shot out a little gust of snow and everyone clapped for her.

I was instantly jealous, along with every other student there.

But I knew what needed to be done. My parents told me to befriend her. I went along with it, because I was five so I hadn’t started to think for myself yet.

My parents went up to introduce themselves to her. As I was watching them, my dad pointed at me. Indigo and I made eye contact. I quickly looked away. As my parents come back over to me, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, thinking it was just a parent who had mistaken me as their child. It turned out that it was Indigo.

Indigo introduced herself to me. I was surprised by how intimidated I felt. I knew that she was a person. But when she asked me what my name was, I could barely remember it, let alone say it. I ended up replying so softly it was little more than a breath. Indigo had cocked her head and said, “What?”

I got over being intimidated. I hated the way that she’d said that. It made me feel judged and less than her.

All of my jealousy came out in that moment. I said my name so loudly that she was probably startled, but she didn’t show it. I continued to say that I already knew everything about her and already had a picture that she had autographed, so I had felt no need to come over and meet her.

She stared at me with a peculiar look on her face. “Do you want to come over to my house this weekend?”

The question took me by surprise. But my parents had told me to become friends with her. I rushed off to tell them.

They were both pretty excited for me. I was so happy to make them proud. They also told me to ask about Caprice Winters by working it into a conversation. I nodded. I didn’t actually know what they meant, but I decided to do my best.

After I became close friends with Indigo, my parents explained why they wanted me to be friends with Indigo. It was so that I would become best friends with Caprice, the princess of the Universe.

Most people don’t know this about me, but I have an identical twin sister, Emily. She doesn’t have a power. My family was devastated on the day we turned five. There was a one in a million chance that she wouldn’t get a power, and she was that unlucky millionth person. We didn’t want Emily to have to move away to Anesia.

My parents decided to hide her away. We are a pretty common family, and Emily and I didn’t have other friends, just each other. So, it wasn’t that hard. There is no real authority making sure that everyone without a power moves to Anesia. That’s just the way it’s always been. It’s an expectation, not a requirement. I’m sure that there have been other cases like this.

My parents’ plan was to influence Caprice’s family. Since they were royalty, they could easily bend the rules for my sister. They could give her a stable job here at Alasia that didn’t actually require a power, such as a tutor. It wouldn’t be that hard for them to do. Plus, since they knew it would be hard for Caprice to make friends at school, they figured that she would be very loyal to me and help persuade her parents.

I had to pretend to be friends with Indigo for months before we did anything with Caprice. When the day came, my parents were overjoyed to hear that Caprice’s parents would be there too. My parents couldn’t come, but they had me put on my fanciest dress and told me to be on my best behavior.

“This is our chance, sweetie. Don’t blow it,” they said.

It turned out that we were just having a picnic. Caprice was in a dress much nicer than mine. She was very kind and had the best manners a five-year-old could possibly have.

That’s when I learned how the stuffed animal incident between Caprice and Indigo had really affected them. They obviously hated each other. Caprice was jealous and mad at Indigo, even though on TV Caprice’s apology looked so real.

It ended up getting really complicated. Whenever Indigo and I would talk, Caprice would interrupt Indigo and ask me a question. She completely abandoned all of her polite manners. It was very hard for me as a five-year-old. I didn’t know who to answer, Caprice or Indigo. If I answered Caprice, Indigo would get mad and wouldn’t invite me along to events with the royal family. If I answered Indigo, Caprice would get mad and not help Emily.

Luckily, the parents noticed what was going on. For being such wealthy people, they seemed to care a lot about a middle-class girl who was in an awkward situation. Or maybe they just wanted to uphold their reputation as genuine people.

The queen herself comforted me. It felt like a dream, almost. I never thought that this would ever happen to me. Then she made Caprice apologize to Indigo and me for being rude. She also invited me to come over to their house in a few days since Caprice wanted to spend time with me.

When I told my parents everything that had happened, they gave me a big hug. “You’re such a great twin sister,” they told me. “Emily is so lucky to have you. Now, be sure to be on your best behavior in the palace. And try to enjoy yourself, sweetie.”

I nodded. I was so excited to go to the royal home. They never did tours of it, and only super wealthy people could go in. So, if you managed to get in, there were always people asking you about it. It would be so nice to be the center of attention for once.

I could barely contain my excitement for the next four days. I could hardly pay attention to my level one wind studies class. Luckily, the teacher was used to five-year-olds having off days or weeks. She didn’t really care that much.

Finally, it was the day. My parents drove me over to the castle. We spent about 15 minutes going through security. They took my parents’ ID cards and triple checked that the queen had made the reservation. Eventually, we made it through.

We drove up to a huge parking lot. It wa filled with limousines and parts of the motorcade, but it was easy to find an empty spot.

My parents each took one of my hands as we walked up the front steps. My mom knocked on the front door. A man wearing a tuxedo opened the door. “Right this way,” he said as he directed us down the long hallway.

I looked all around me as I walked through the entrance hall. It felt like being inside of a kaleidoscope. There was glass everywhere, in all of the colors of the rainbow. There were paintings of past kings and queens that I recognized from a history book. As I walked, I could feel the plush carpet tickling my feet through my sandals. It felt like walking on a red cloud. I looked up, and there was a magnificent chandelier, glittering as it caught the multi-colored light coming in through the glass windowpanes.

It was beautiful.

Harry, the Guy who Took Being Ironic into an (Ironic) Art Form

 

Chapter 1: The Irony Begins

Harry sat in his room in Portland, ironically watching Shrek the Third and ironically listening to In the Aeroplane over the Sea. On his wall ironically hung posters depicting Nicolas Cage. In his wardrobe, ironically, were flannel shirts, tapered pants, and beanies. Harry was, ironically, a freelance writer. Harry flipped open his ironic Macbook and began to ironically type a rant on an Internet message board about how In the Aeroplane over the Sea was terrible. He was, ironically, typing in Comic Sans. Shrek the Third and In the Aeroplane over the Sea still ironically playing, he began to ironically read Homestuck on the Internet, his fingers ironically in the WASD position.

As In the Aeroplane over the Sea reached its close, Harry walked over to his ironic vinyl record player and, ironically, began to play his ironic bootleg of the John Cena theme song. Literally half of the limited space in his ironically minimalistic apartment was taken up by his ironic vinyl collection.
Sometimes, Harry ironically wished he was bald, so that even his name would be ironic. He ironically decided to shave his head. He walked into his cramped bathroom and opened up the medicine cabinet, removing his ironic straight razor and some shaving cream. I don’t know exactly how you shave because I’m only twelve years old, but anyway Harry shaved his head. Unfortunately, he ended up with a lot of cuts on his head. Rapidly losing blood, he ironically called for an UberX because he was an ironic freelance writer and couldn’t afford a car. He had passed out the second he got into the car, but not before making an ironic comment about how it was fifteen minutes late.

After stepping out of the Uber at the hospital, he was hit by an ambulance. He passed out again, but not before appreciating the irony of the situation.

He woke up in an ICU, after which the nurse revealed he had been in a coma for three weeks, during which they had performed extensive surgery. The nurse showed him what he now looked like in the mirror. Harry screamed, but not because of the permanent, brutal scarring on his head.

He had forgotten his ironic beanie.

He used his ironic made-up style of martial arts to ironically throw the nurse out of the window and escape the room. He was only on the ground floor, so the nurse climbed back through the window and chased after Harry. How ironic.

After escaping the building and wincing in pain from his recent surgery from which he had not yet recovered, he ironically stole a smart car and floored the gas pedal. He had to get to his ironic beanie before it was too late. He ironically looked down and noticed that he was wearing a hospital gown. He wasn’t even wearing his ironic flannel shirt! Now he really had to get to his apartment. At least his ironic lensless glasses and curly mustache were intact.

While ironically driving on a road that wound through a forest, a deer jumped in front of the ironic smart car. Regretting that he had to take a life, but ironically determined to reclaim his ironic clothing, he ironically kept driving.

Harry woke up on the side of the road in the burning debris of the smart car. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the deer run away unharmed. He ironically resolved to ironically hate poorly constructed smart cars for the rest of his life. Still determined to reach his apartment, he ironically ran down the road until the soles of his ironic bowling shoes wore out and he stepped on a rusty nail, contracting tetanus.

At least he had made it out of the forest. Now he was within about a mile of his shabby apartment, which was only maybe a half step up from his parents’ basement, in which he had ironically lived only the previous year. Ironically flagging down another UberX, he gave the driver the directions to his apartment.

After stumbling into his apartment, he immediately and ironically put on his beanie and flannel shirt. He almost felt the power surging through his body.

Which wasn’t actually power, but spasms resulting from his tetanus.

Ironically, Harry fell to the floor unconscious.

Waking up in the hospital for the second time in one day, he was immediately put back to sleep by the same nurse he had thrown out the window. Before falling back into unconsciousness, Harry had just enough time to be amused by the irony of the situation.

When he woke up again, Harry was alone in the room. He thought about how ironic it was that he had been knocked out five times and counting in the space of just three weeks. He noticed a small speaker with an iPod connected to it. Ironically, Harry began to play Death Cab for Cutie. As Harry ironically looked out the window, he noticed a speck in the sky. Squinting through his ironic lensless glasses, he noticed that the speck was getting steadily larger. Harry didn’t have the time to appreciate any irony to be found in the situation, because that speck was an atom bomb, ironically launched by the Russian government.

Chapter 2: The Electric Boogaloo (Too Ironic to Live, Too Ironic to Die)

When Harry woke up again, it was in a tangled pile of metal that used to be the hospital bed. Ironically gazing into the distance, he saw a slowly rising mushroom cloud against a red-orange sky. Heh, red sky and Russians. Ironic.

So, he ironically thought, I guess Fallout is real. If that truly was the case, he would need some bottle caps. His alcoholic neighbor Dave would surely have those in abundance. Ironically heading to his apartment, he met a few lucky survivors, alive but irradiated. They passed a rumor among themselves that what was left of the US government was initiating secret emergency plan W.E.E.A.B.O.O., which involved asking the Japanese government for help. How ironic, thought Harry ironically, while ironically wondering what “W.E.E.A.B.O.O.” stood for. Sounds like something out of a Marvel movie. Ironically piecing it together through snippets of conversation, he learned that “W.E.E.A.B.O.O.” stood for absolutely nothing but a few government strategists thought it would be funny. Now that’s ironic.

He kept walking through the ruins of Portland, seeing dead hipsters everywhere, ironically worrying that he would encounter some kind of mutated monster. After reaching the place his apartment building used to be, he ironically observed that it had been torn out of its foundation and had landed some four blocks away. Thankfully, the dumpsters were still where he ironically remembered them to be. He started ironically digging through the trash until he had what he ironically felt was a sufficient number of bottle caps, around five hundred. Boy, was Dave’s alcoholism a livesaver.

He ironically looked up just in time to notice another atom bomb. Quickly (and ironically) jumping through The Waffle Window, he miraculously and very ironically survived yet again, but not after being knocked unconscious for, what, like, the seventh time? If Harry was conscious enough, he would probably appreciate the irony.

After waking up yet again, this time in the wreckage of The Waffle Window. He ironically set off to find a group of survivors he could stay with. After finding a group of about ten people, he attempted to buy food with his bottle caps, but nobody wanted them because nobody had played Fallout and they all thought he was weird.

After walking through the ruins of Portland for another few hours, failing to find any more groups of survivors, Harry ironically realized that after being knocked out seven times, he had probably contracted some kind of brain damage by now, not to mention his tetanus and probable irradiation. To take his mind off of his impending doom, he ironically wondered if the US government was in any way still intact, and, if so, were they initiating operation W.E.E.A.B.O.O.?

All this and more on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z,” ironically thought Harry, with a slight and ironic grin.

The group eventually (and ironically, thanks to Harry) decided that they would need to find shelter. They decided to split up in a small area and call to the others if they found anything. Ironically, Harry began to walk around and look for suitable shelter, ironically looking up just in time to see a falling i-beam.

Ha, got you for a second there. Bet you thought Harry was gonna get knocked out again. Well, you’re wrong.

Ironically grateful that he had dodged the falling i-beam, he ironically noticed that it had fallen from a mostly intact two-floor rowhouse. The front door had been torn apart by the explosion, so he walked through to see if it could house the group. He walked upstairs to ironically check out the second floor, when, ironically, he walked onto a part of the floor made unstable by the blast and fell through into the ground floor, falling on his head and ironically knocking himself out for the eighth time in three weeks.

He woke up just in time to hear that one of the survivors was calling the rest of the group over. He ironically rushed over and learned that he had found shelter in the form of a mostly intact McDonald’s. Ironically disgusted to have to stay in someplace so mainstream, he wanted to refuse, but, ironically, realized there was no other choice. He walked in through the doors and decided to see if he could scavenge a McFlurry. No matter how mainstream it was, Harry could always enjoy a McFlurry. It was one of the few things he enjoyed unironically, besides the act of being ironic itself. Ah, irony.

His fellow survivors claimed there wasn’t enough room in the McDonald’s, so they made Harry sleep on the roof. Harry began to ironically reflect. He wondered if it was his constant irony that made others alienate and dislike him.

Nah, he ironically thought, that couldn’t possibly be it.

Careful not to cut yourself on your edginess there, Harry.

Ironically, it wasn’t his edginess that was hurting him, but really his brain damage, steadily worsening tetanus, and now almost definite irradiation. Now if he could just find a way to be ironic about that. Then it hit him. He could be really ironic…by not being ironic at all. By deviating from his old personality, even he himself could be ironic!

It was brilliant. Even more brilliant than his ironic experimental ambient noise band, Injected Marmalade and the Instant Pity. No, wait, thought Harry. I have to stop being ironic. As he slowly fell into an unironic sleep, he resolved to be unironic for the rest of his life.

And then immediately forgot about it in the morning.

Chapter 3: F  E  E  L    T  H  E    V  A  P  O  R

Harry woke to the sound of incredibly loud vaporwave music. Marveling at how ironic that was, he set out to find the source. Being half-asleep, however, he forgot he was on the roof and fell off, knocking himself out. Again. When he woke up, the music was still playing. He decided to find the source, assuming it was a group of survivors. He also elected to abandon his group in favor of whoever was playing the vaporwave, because, whoever they were, they were probably a lot more ironic.

Oddly, he managed to pin down the location of the music’s source within the space of about one block, but it took him an hour or so to find where it was precisely. He finally found it within a very ironic restaurant, which he recognized. It was one of those places with an incredibly tiny menu and no custom orders. Good sign. Whoever was camped out here was maybe even more ironic than he was. He turned a corner and saw someone hunched over an iPod, hooked up to an absurdly (and ironically) large speaker.

“Hello?” Harry asked the person, carefully and a little nervously. The person’s neck turned around so fast Harry could swear he heard it crack. He immediately realized the person looked exactly like him. This “fake” Harry let out a piercing scream and the room went dark.

Harry wanted to panic but couldn’t speak. Then, suddenly, a flash of color appeared around him, and he felt like he was flying. Weird faces he didn’t recognize appeared and disappeared all around him, and suddenly, he was in space, flying around and through planets, into and out of galaxies, until he reached the end of the universe. All of a sudden, the vaporwave music started playing again, and the infinite stars and planets of space slowly faded away.

He was in the hospital bed. The nurse, after knocking him out, had given him twice the normal dose of sedative drugs. He had only just woken up. It took him a few moments to process his surroundings. He looked out the window. No atom bomb, no post-apocalyptic wasteland. The vaporwave was coming from the small Bluetooth speaker next to his bed, subliminally affecting his dream.

It was then that he finally remembered what he was thinking on the roof of the McDonald’s in his dream. He had been ironic for so long that he was too predictable. By doing something extremely unpredictable, he could be the most ironic man in the world. And the only truly unpredictable thing he could do was to stop being ironic.

By being unironic, he could be even more ironic.

And in truth, he had already begun. Notice how I haven’t written the word “ironic” as much in the past few paragraphs. He just didn’t know it yet. Lying in the hospital bed there, he resolved to buy some normal clothes and burn his flannel shirts and tapered pants. He resolved to at least reduce the size of his vinyl collection. To stop pretending he enjoys professional wrestling. To stop typing in Comic Sans. To stop watching Shrek. To stop using obscure Internet message boards. To maybe even move out of Portland.

To become unironic.

And by doing that, he achieved his goal of becoming the most ironic person in the world.

EPILOGUE

And then Harry died of anemia because his blood wasn’t iron-y enough. *Ba dum tss*

Dogtags

No one ever asked where he got them. No one ever questioned why Aiken Ross wore a pair of dog tags on a chain around his neck. They were perfectly normal, as far as tags go. Silver-finished, slightly scuffed, tarnished around the edges. Normal… but not quite, since the tags were perfectly smooth, bearing no name or address, no hints of his past. It was as if he’d dreamed them into existence.

Laken used to stare at those tags for hours. Well, not hours, but to her hyperactive mind, each minute was a century. She was always bugging Aiken for answers, pacing alongside him with that tantalizing smirk, pulling his hair, poking his cheeks. At age nine, she already knew where she was going, yet Aiken refused to address what little authority she possessed. This just made her try harder.

“So where’d you get those tags from?”

“Not important, Lakes.”

“Aw, c’mon…tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“Rosseau. You never give up, do you?”

“Ha, you wish.”

“You really wanna know?”

“With every bone in my body, Ross.”

“Fine.” And he’d throw her over his shoulder while she cackled madly, cursing him out while trying to kick him in the stomach.

True love, right?

Laken rubbed the tags between her fingers, remembering. After being pressed against Aiken’s chest for hours, the metal was still warm, as if it had its own heartbeat. “Hey, Aik?”
She sat on his chest, legs folded like the well-mannered girl she most certainly was not. Aiken pretended to ignore the eighty pounds of insanity leaving a child-size dent in his ribcage. “What’s up?”

Upon hearing his voice, Laken glanced down at him with a peculiar little smile. “Am I hurting you? Good,” she said without giving him time to answer. “When am I gonna get your tags?”

“How about… never.”

Laken rolled her eyes. “Dude, I’m serious.” She reached for the necklace again. “Are you gonna–”

“Stop,” he said sternly, swatting her hand away. Actually, it was more of a smack than a swat. But that validation only encouraged Laken more; she stuck out her tongue and continued to grab for them.

“Let me have them!”

“Not gonna happen!” Aiken shouted, rolling onto his stomach. Laken squealed and tried to squirm away. “Give up now?”

It almost seemed cruel to treat a kid like that. But Laken was tough. Aiken always said she’d grow up to be fearless, just as he’d intended. Then nothing in the world could hurt her.

In the end, Aiken got what she wanted. And Laken did too.

She was the one to slide the necklace over Aiken’s head, then hold it in the air like a prize. She was the one, with that same *** smirk, to slip it onto her own neck, declaring herself king. The new ruler. The guardian angel. And she didn’t cry once.

Now, Laken fingers the tags as they knock against her collarbone, wishing she were as numb as she used to be. She’ll never admit it, but at the moment, crying doesn’t seem so bad.

Dian’s Misadventures

Dian groaned at the florescent lighting, a small, black puff writhing from the awakening from his dream, which had starred a peculiar adventure with a pigeon. They had munched New York hotdogs, snuck into an art gallery, and were smack in the middle of a Daring Escape from an evil animal shelter owner. But as Dian groggily blinked his cerulean eyes, it was clear to him that he was still at Manhattan Kittens, in his little clear box, with his boring, uneventful siblings, the Grey Tom kitten and the Dark Striped Female kitten. They were up to their usual time-passing, lying down and playing with their toys: a battered plush mouse that jangled and a few inches of some maroon yarn. It kept them content, but Dian longed for some excitement. Perhaps there was a pigeon waiting outside the window? Maybe he had sat there for weeks, months, waiting for him? Perhaps it had watched him for a while, saw that he was different from the others, and had forever longed to get to know him? Dian knew, of course, that there was none, but it was disappointing nonetheless to glance out the window and see the sidewalk barren of any potential companion.

“Hey, you. What are you looking out that window for? It never changes,” inquired Dark Striped kitten.

“Nor does anything here,” Dian replied dolefully.

“And you can call me Dian.” Dark Striped looked at him as if he had asked her to refer to him as Twinkleton Bluebottom Ceculous The Third.

“Why?” she queried, puzzled.

“We’ll all get proper names when we’re adopted,” Dark Striped stated it as if being adopted was having dinner arrive.

“But when I was younger–” Dian declared. “When I was like an hour old, someone picked me up by my scruff and said that I was dark as obsidian”

“Are you sure? And even if that story happened, so what? That doesn’t mean Dian is your name.” Dark Striped was stubborn that way. She was perfectly satisfied with lazing around, playing with jingling toy mice, but always had to be correct and practical about things like this. There was no  “Maybe there is something odd and mysterious out there,” or “We should go exploring!” for Dian’s sister.

“What’s obsidian?” Grey Tom had just awoken from his morning nap, his plump belly sprawled across the bedding like a grey, furry puddle.

“I-I think it’s some kind of rock. Someone once came in here with something around their neck that had a shiny rock on it, and someone asked if it was obsidian.” As Dian said this he began to ponder his namesake. Sure, there was the one occasion with the shiny rock, but were there people named Obsidian? Other cats? Dian sighed as he gazed aimlessly out the foggy window. Raindrops dripped down the window, as Dian watched the umbrella-holding New Yorkers, dashing from here to there, all having somewhere to go. Something to do. At that moment, Dian’s ears pricked up, as the bell that hung above the door jangled. At the kitten sticker adorned door stood a tall, thin man in a scruffed leather jacket.

“Um, hello, would you by any chance have a terrier-sized blue sparkly dress I could borrow?” The stranger’s odd request had not gone unnoticed, for the volunteer at the register looked as if he had asked if anyone had seen a ghost named Joseph holding gardening shears.

“Sir, we mostly cater to cats here, and I don’t believe we sell any clothing items for pets.”

Dian was intrigued by the curious stranger, and couldn’t keep a straight face while watching the conversation.

“I see…” The odd guest pursed his lips in thought. “How about a bow?”

The woman at the register gave a look of shock mingled with hidden laughter.The curious kitten was watching the comical event with wide eyes and open ears. As the volunteer told him that there were in fact no sparkly garments of any kind for sale at Manhattan Kittens, the peculiar man nodded and rushed out. Dian was surprised, to say the least, for anyone who came into Manhattan Kittens was almost always a young child and a parent, or if they came alone, an orderly-looking woman. Never had he seen anyone with messy hair, a jacket that looked as if it had been given to an angry Persian cat, wild eyes, and a request of a dress for a terrier. What even was a terrier? As Dian wondered this, he noticed a tall figure who seemed to be talking to a small dog out the window. An excited and curious Dian craned his neck to see that it was Terrier Dress Man. He was pacing, worriedly, and talked, seemingly, to the small dog. Dian wished badly to hear what he was saying, and pressed his ear to the glass of his box.

More people came in Manhattan Kittens, some with children. Dian didn’t get ecstatic like the other kittens, he was wise enough to know that he wasn’t cute and playful enough to be wanted by children, and not graceful and elegant enough for older adults to want him. It usually didn’t bother him, but lately he began to wonder what would happen to him. Was he doomed to stay in the clear box forever? Would he be kitten-napped by some villain to be stroked on his lap in an evil lair? But Dian didn’t have time to worry about that, he had to think of a plan to do something drastic, something big, something adventurous.

Okay, so after I start to meow and whine, somebody is bound to come to the box. Dark Stripes and Grey Tom will be deep in their pre afternoon rest nap, so they won’t be a bother. After a volunteer picks me up and tries to see the problem, I leap out and make a dash for the door.

Dian knew it was risky, he knew it was dangerous, but he knew it was the only way he would ever get out of the clear box. He found himself becoming a bit downcast at the thought of leaving Manhattan Kittens forever. Finally, Dian had mustered up all the courage in his little heart, and began to meow. Not those little, cutesy mews that other kittens give, loud, screeching yowls that everyone in Manhattan Kittens found quite bothersome. A volunteer quickly rushed over, and grabbed Dian by his dark fluffy scruff. Dian hadn’t been held by a person ever since he was given his name. He could feel the rough fabric used to make the Manhattan Kittens tee, the psychedelic sky blue of the shirt and the yellow letters reading MANHATTAN KITTENS giving him a mild headache.

He quickly tried to squirm out of the volunteers arms, and glanced out the window to see Terrier Dress Man still pacing and jabbering on to the unsuspecting dog. The volunteer began to scold Dian, and placed him back in the box, closing the lid. Dian let out a frustrated cry, and pouted around the box.

“Why can’t they realize I need to leave?” Dian began to let out his anger on a sleepy Grey Tom. “It’s like they can’t even think of anything other than themselves!” The mild throbbing in Dian’s head started to feel less like a quiet bell and more like a person with a hammer had taken up residence in his head. He really felt like sulking and having a good long rant, but he so badly wanted to escape. Just then, he heard a mew followed by an awww. He looked around and saw a small, fluffy, dark grey kitten being held by a little girl. The kitten buried its little head in her jacket, as the girl gave a pleading look at her mother, who let out an exasperated sigh and asked a nearby volunteer, “How much is he?” The girl left the store wearing a grin and carrying a kitten. Normally Dian wouldn’t have taken much notice of this; it was really quite a common sight at Manhattan Kittens. But this gave him an idea.

As soon as the next child came in, Dian started up his act. He began to snuggle into the bedding, and as the child came closer, he began to mew and paw at the glass. The child was instantly drawn to Dian’s box, but much to Dark Stripe’s surprise, she had come for Dian.

“Oh he’s so cute!” The girl then opened the box and grabbed Dian, despite the quite clear “WANT TO HOLD A KITTEN? ASK A VOLUNTEER” sticker on the lid.

“Daddy Daddy! I want this one!” The child ran up to a distinguished-looking man, holding a very frazzled Dian.

That one?” The father looked at Dian as if his daughter had chosen a worm for a pet. “But there are so many other nicer, purebred kittens.”

“No!” the girl pouted. “This one!” The father reluctantly agreed, and the girl twirled out of Manhattan Kittens holding a black fluff of kitten. Dian saw in the next door bakery window a familiar, messy haired acquaintance. He couldn’t help feeling the tiniest bit guilty wriggling out of his self entitled owner’s arms, and dashing to Pain Incroyable. After all, they had paid for him. But as Dian found himself underneath Terrier Dress’s table, he didn’t regret his decision one bit.

“I’m honestly not sure what to do, Travis! We’re going to need that dress if we want to compete in the Prettiest Pup Pageant and win the $200 prize!” Terrier Dress sighed at the little dog nestled in his jacket pocket.

“Felix, I know you need to pay back your grandmother but maybe you could take her advice? You know, about getting organized, dressing well, and getting, you know, a job?” Travis rolled his eyes at his oblivious owner. “And it’s not that I’m absolutely thrilled at the prospect of dressing up in a glittery dress and bow so that we can pay our rent, but maybe it’s time to live like a normal person and stop trying to make it as a graphic designer. Let’s face it, nobody wants Courier New on their business cards!”

“Um, I don’t think he can hear you.” Dian had decided to try and talk to Travis to see if he could find out more about Terrier Dress — sorry — Felix.

“You got that right” Travis snorted. “Wait a minute–”

“Hi! I’m Dian and I just escaped from that kitten place your owner was just in.”

Travis was a mix between baffled and enraged at this. “Well, what are you doing here?! How long have you been there?”

“Shush, Travis!” Felix said as he flicked his pet’s ear.

Dian whispered “Look, I know it sounds weird but I got this spoiled kid to adopt me to get here!” Dian had not thought the dog would be so skeptical, but as he said his story out loud, Dian realized he sounded insane.

“But why here? To us?”

“Well, you see, I was always kind of bored and lonely in the kitten shop, my siblings were no fun and I had to spend all of my time in this little clear box.”

“So?” Travis seemed puzzled. “Isn’t that what all kittens do? Just wait to be adopted?”

“But I didn’t want to wait in there forever just to be adopted and lie around in some person’s house.” Dian tried very hard to whisper but to still get his point across. “I’m not really like other kittens. And well, you and Felix kinda seemed like the opposite of boring and lonely, and–”

“You want to tag along with me and Felix for a while?” Travis seemed to understand. “Well, you seem like a good cat, but Felix is kind of in a phase right now–”

At that moment, Felix finally noticed the little runaway under the table.

“Well hello there little cat!” Felix picked up Dian and plopped him on his lap. “You must be lost. But you don’t have a tag or anything.” Felix looked at Dian thoughtfully. “I guess you’ll have to stick with us for now” Felix lifted Dian onto his shoulder. “Don’t worry little guy, we’ll get a cage thingy for you.” Travis watched with dismay.

“Are you crazy? You can’t afford to buy pizza toppings! Nevermind have a cat!” Travis gazed up at Felix. “And besides! You already have a pet.”

“Well, come on, we gotta go see if anyone has a dress for a terrier.” Felix’s face lit up. “Wait a minute! We’ll use you, kitten! We can get a dog costume for you! We’ll decorate it as best we can.”

The next few hours were spent clinging onto Felix’s shoulder while they went from costume store to costume store trying to find a dog costume that would fit Dian. There was quite a bit of confusion between Felix and an employee at Kool Kostumes 4 U. They were greeted quite cheerily.

“Hey! I’m Kimberly. Welcome to Kool Kostumes! What can I do for you?”

“Hello. I’m Felix, and we’d like a dog costume.”

“Sure, I can get’cha a dog costume! How old is the kid?”

“If it was for a kid, I would have asked for a kid costume. This costume is for a kitten.”

Now Kimberly was confused. She tilted her head to one side, her curly strawberry blonde hair falling down her shoulder.

“Um… I’m sorry sir, I thought you wanted a dog costume for a child. Not a dog costume for a cat.”

Felix scoffed at this. “Well, by the establishment’s name I assumed I would be provided with a cool costume for me! And the costume I would like is a dog costume for a cat!”

After this, Kimberly told Felix that she was sorry sir, she couldn’t help him, but that the next time they went to Kool Kostumes they’d be given a coupon for a whole $5 dollars off their next purchase! (As long as it was over $45 of course)

Now, as Dian gripped onto Felix’s jacket shoulder while he asked an elderly woman on the sidewalk if she knew of any stores that sold costumes for cats, Dian wondered if he had made the right decision. Had anyone at Manhattan Kittens missed him? Did his siblings care? Did someone walk in minutes after his Daring Escape, asking for a black fluffy kitten with a wish for adventure? Dian grimly remembered that he had never had to worry about anything happening to him in his little clear box. Out in the Big Bad City, there were fast cars, noise, yelling, not to mention he was trusting his little kitten life to a man and dog he had only met hours before.

Dian’s woes were loudly interrupted however, as the elderly woman exclaimed excitedly, “Oh yes! I know a lovely shop that has little outfits for cats on the East Side! It’s called Claire’s Costumes for Cats and Kittens. Here, I’ll give you the address… I’m sure whatever you get will look wonderful on your little cat.” The woman patted Dian’s head, leaving a scowling Travis peeking out of the jacket pocket.

After Felix hopped out of the cab, having paid only $10 of his cab fare, Dian gazed up at the shop in front of them. It had a lilac-colored oval sign, trimmed with a pink lacy pattern. On the lilac oval read,

Claire’s Costumes for Cats and Kittens.

The first C was adorned with a belled kitty collar, and the K with two cat ears and whiskers.

Travis muttered something about how this was no place for Felix, seeing as this looked a very expensive shop, and how they wouldn’t have had to come here if it weren’t for that nuisance of a cat.

“Hello?” Felix said as he opened the door and a little bell jangled, painfully reminding Dian of Manhattan Kittens.

“May I help you?” A young woman in a pale yellow dress with a minimal cat face on it looked at the three of them curiously. Of course, she only knew of Felix and Dian, Travis had buried himself in the jacket pocket, as even he could tell this shop was not welcoming to dogs.

As Dian glanced about he saw that that Claire’s Costumes for Cats and Kittens was just as dainty as the sign. The walls were the same shade of spring lavender, little cat-sized dresses and costumes embellished the walls. Some glittering blues and greens, some silky violet, and one or two that were certainly unsuitable for cats.

“Yes well, I would like a costume for this kitten here.” Felix held out Dian.

“Ah, then you’d like to go to the Kitten Section. Come with me.”

She lead Felix to some lilac shelves that contained garments similar to those in the front of the store, but slightly smaller and more shiny. As she pointed out the right shelves to go to, Dian noticed her long, sharp, sky blue glittery nails that almost look like cat’s claws themselves.

“And of course here we have the shiny, sparkly dresses, if you want her to really stand out, and–”

“Actually,” Felix interrupted patiently. “He is a male cat, I believe.”

“Alright then, there are some tuxedos over there, but our specialty here really is dresses and bows, so if you’re entering a pageant or competition, I’d really buy one of those.”

“Alright, we’ll buy one of those sparkly bows then, and could you tell me where the costumes are? Like, for Halloween?”

As Glitter Nails helped Felix chose a costume that would fit Dian, Travis had a good chuckle inside the jacket pocket.

“Imagine! You’ll have to wear a dog costume! And a bow!”  

Dian took no notice of this, he was far too concerned with what would happen after the pageant. Surely Felix would get tired of him? And Travis wouldn’t blink an eye to see Dian go. Would he have to live on the streets as a stray? Would he have to beg for bread crumbs just to survive? Would he ever find a home? A friend? Or would be be lonely forever?

Felix interrupted Dian’s worries with a flourish, holding up a hanger with a spotted dog costume. It looked a bit big for Dian, but Felix was so ecstatic that Dian didn’t protest when he asked Glitter Nails where he should pay for it. At this moment, however, when everything was looking fine, Travis had had enough of being crammed on the jacket pocket and peeked his complaint filled head out.

He gasped, thirsty for air, “Honestly Felix! What were you thinking? A closed pocket is no place to keep a pet! I could have suffocated! You–”

Glitter nails let out a shriek at Travis’s sudden appearance. “You brought a dog?! This is a place for cats and their owners! Not for filthy dogs!”

Frazzled Felix was more concerned about his purchases than the store’s policies. “Okay… so should I just leave the cash at the counter…?”

Glitter Nails was not amused at this. “Out! You and your pets!”

Felix simply stood, dumbfounded for a moment, before quickly grabbing the costume and bow, and dashing out the door (Don’t worry, he still left his crumpled $32 at the counter).

Felix has made his own Daring Escape, thought Dian as Felix jumped out of their hastily paid for cab and calmly strolled into Central Park.

“Well, at least we got your costume, kitten!” Felix pointed out cheerily.

“Yeah, and all it cost was going to that awful shop, getting kicked out, getting yelled at, and $32!” Travis scolded.

“You know, kitten, we should give you a name.” Felix looked at Dian, thoughtfully. “You know, I can’t just keep calling you Kitten, seeing as you’ll probably be hanging around for a while.”

“My name is Dian!” the little kitten meowed, eagerly. Dian was frustrated when all Felix did was look at him, confused. Right, he can’t hear me, Dian thought, irritated. He would have to show Felix who he was.

“How about… Shadow?” Dian huffed at the suggestion.

“Alright…Raven? Midnight? Asher?” Dian turned his head at all three.

Felix leaned back on the park bench, sighing. “How about Onyx? Phantom? Obsidian?”

Dian joyfully nodded his head. “Yes! That’s it!”

Travis scoffed, “I wish you had found this name giving ability sooner! Maybe I would have a name like Buster or Mahogany.”

“Obsidian it is!” exclaimed Felix proudly.

“Sometimes I wonder where you came from, Obsidian.”

As Felix wondered this, fear shot down Dian’s spine. Is he going to find out I’m a runaway? Will he return me? Dian’s mind whirled.

“Well, wherever you came from, you couldn’t have been that happy there. I reckon you’d have tried to back by now if you were!” He took another bite of his hot dog, the mustard dripping down the napkin onto his wrist. “Its ‘kay, Obsidian. I kinda ran away, too. No one really got me when I was younger, including my family. So as soon as I could leave, I rushed outta there and tried to get some work as a graphic designer.”

Dian gazed at him, amazed at how similar they were.

“Well, it’ll be getting dark soon, so we’d better get going if we want to get to the pageant on time.”

Dian wriggled into the dog costume as Felix stuck the sparkly blue bow on. “I’ve registered you as Dancing Curls, my favorite font, just so you know, Obsidian.”

Dian was starting to get a bit worried about this pageant, seeing as he couldn’t see a thing out of the dog costume’s tiny eye windows. And weren’t the judges observant enough to see that he wasn’t a real dog? Why couldn’t he be more stubborn and complaining like Travis?

“Aaaand now we have Dancing Curls, and her owner, Felix,” an unenthusiastic but booming voice said as an excited Felix ushered Dian on stage.

“Good luck!” hiss-whispered Travis.

“Hello, ladies and gentleman! This is Dancing Curls, my purebred… Schwartz..ing…ton…hound. Yup! And tonight we are going to show you some tricks. Dancing, jump.”

Felix held out a hoop that seemed to have appeared out of thin air. Dian did as he was told though, and attempted a jump. As he lept up, he could feel the costume about to rip, and made a tumble-ish, fall-ish landing. All he could do was thank his lucky stars that it was dark, and that the judges didn’t seem to be paying attention all that much. There might be a chance they don’t notice the costume! The audience wasn’t a problem, it was a bored crowd of about 20 people sitting on uncomfortable chairs.

“Um… Dancing! Dance!” Dian tried his best, getting up on his hind legs and attempting to dance about. But his little kitten legs were short, not like a dog’s. And Dian sort of succeeded. He just looked a bit funny. Like a dachshund trying to get a treat from a giraffe. A few audience members chuckled, which had to have counted for something.

“Alrighty then, Dancing, paw.” This Dian could do effortlessly. He lifted up his paw, and high-fived Felix. But as he did, he heard a dreaded rrrrripp, and looked down to see a tuft of soft black fur among his polyester costume fuzz. Felix noticed this as well.

“And that’s all, folks!” Felix briskly picked up Dian, and rushed backstage. “I don’t think they noticed,” Felix comforted.

Dian felt ashamed. He had let Felix down. He knew it.

“Aww… it’s okay, buddy. You did it! You went up on stage, and you did it. Not flawlessly, but you still did it. And trust me, sometimes, that’s okay.”

“Hey, cat,” Travis said, turning to Dian. “You’ve helped Felix today more than I ever could. You did a huge favor for him, and you barely knew him! Do you think I’d have danced around in a costume and bow? No siree.”

Dian was about to reply when Felix called for him, “Dancing! C’mere!”

Dian ran as fast as he could to the stage, next to Felix.  

“And the first place winner is…”  the booming voice paused, dramatically. “Cecelia Holiday, and her corgi, Fluffers.”

A euphoric blonde woman holding a little dog shook hands with Booming Voice and took the golden trophy and a giant check.

“The second place winner is… Lucy Brighten, and her dalmatian, Hero.”

As Lucy took her silver trophy and her check, Dian couldn’t help feeling disappointed. He knew he wasn’t the best, but these things always ended with the Good Guys winning, right? Even though they didn’t know a thing about the other contestants and technically they cheated but…

“And the third place winner is… Felix Silversmith and his Schwartzington, Dancing Curls?”

Dian was just as confused as booming voice. But Felix was just off the wall. His eyes brightened as he was given the smallest bronze trophy, and the smallest check that read $210.

“Thank you, thank you!” he beamed, proud as punch, as Booming Voice led him off the stage onto the grass.

Travis rushed towards them. “You did it!”

Felix unzipped the dog costume, leaving nothing but a very thankful Dian.

“Thanks a bunch, Obsidian,” Felix said as he embraced Dian tightly.

“You know,” he said, holding Dian up. “We oughta find a shorter name for you. How about Dian?”

Dave Is Just a Small Town Boy Living in a Lonely World

The tale of Jeff the llama and Dave the human, the two greatest super heroes ever. Based on a true story.

 

Dave is just small town boy living in a lonely world. Dave is just 12, but he works at his dad’s llama farm. One day a llama went loose. Dave followed, the llama led Dave to a weird cave with glowing crystals just like the cave from the movie Chronicle but NOT THE SAME ONE because copyright infringement. As Dave and the llama walk down the cave, the liquid inside the crystals start to move in like a whirlpool sort of motion. The llama touches the crystal and the crystal turns red. All of a sudden, there is a bang and the llama and Dave fall asleep but not like people in Chronicle because our movie is better. Dave wakes up at the same as the llama, Dave is shocked when the llama actually spoke.

“Ah, my head is killing me,” the llama said.

Dave said, ”You just spoke, actually spoke.”

Llama said, “You can understand me?”

“Si,” Dave replied. “But you’re a llama.”

“I have a name, you know,” said the llama. “Llamas have names, we’re actually a very advanced race, now I have an idea, lets get out of the cave.”

Dave said, “You said had a name, what is the name?”

“My name is Canton Everit Delware the 3rd but you can call me Jeff.”

Dave said, “How can you be talking right now?”

Jeff said, “I don’t know, maybe you’re speaking llama right now.”

“What? Of course I am not, llamas don’t have a language, they just have an assortment of baahs.”

As the least qualified super heroes make their journey (pun not intended to the beginning), they did not notice the gaping hole right in front of them. They continue to walk forward and fall. Llama starts to fly and picks up Dave and they fly out of the hole.

Dave said, “You can fly?!”

Llama said “I can’t fly.”

Dave said, “So then what are you doing right now, falling in style, come on be smart.”

Llama said, “I must show the colony my power.”

Dave said, “Can I come.”

As the two heroes walk into the secret underground colony of the Llamas, they see a huge statue of LL Cool J.

“Why is there a statue of LL Cool J?” Dave said.

“LL Cool J is the creator of the llamas and he is also the best character in NCIS,” Jeff replied.

Dave said, “LL cool J was not the creator of llamas.”

“Think about it, haven’t you ever wondered why there are two l’s in llama,” Jeff replied.

As they were walking, Dave sneezed really hard and lasers came out of his eyes and cut the statue in half. “I can shoot lasers! OUT MY EYES!” Dave said.

“Apparently you can, now it’s time to run.”

“Wait, you can fly!”

“Oh…yeah, BYE,” Jeff said as flies away.

Dave said, “Wait come back, take me with you.”

“I do what I want,” Jeff.

Dave said, “Please help me, plus llamas should help humans, we are a more advanced race.”

“I am a flying llama that likes human TV shows, speaks English and I have another super power later on,” said Jeff.

“How do you know you have another super power?” said Dave.

“The narrator told me,” Jeff said.

”I’ll make the narrator tell what the super power is if you get me out of here,” Dave. The two worst heroes in the universe fly out of danger, well that’s it, they flew out of danger that’s it nothing more nothing less. I know you were expecting something witty but I ran out, wait here I can search something up hold. No, nope, nuh, ah yes finally, ok you ready alright, here it goes, yo mama so fat, when she sits around the house she sits around the house. We’re…we’re really scraping at the bottom of the barrel.

Jeff said, “Dave, since you destroyed the statue of LL Cool J, every single llama in the universe is after you and me so there is only one place we be safe in, that is Hotel California,”

said Dave. “This will be living it up in the Hotel California, what a lovely place, what a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely…”

Shhhhhhh, we already talked about this copyright infringement. Dave and Jeff said together, “Thanks narrator, also thanks custom ink.”

When the heroes walked into their room, they found an expired credit card but the heroes thought that the credit card was perfectly fine. They use the card and wasted all their money on nothing. Without any money, Dave and Jeff go on welfare. All of there friends hated them for taking advantage of a government program.

“Do you think it’s wrong to be on welfare when there are other people that need welfare more than us,” said Jeff.

Dave said, “Hey, we’re super heroes.”

 

Cucumber Gardens

There was a little boy lying in the cucumber garden. He was naked, joints stitched with black sewing thread like a rag doll, and his bald head lolled to the side. As he smiled at Lottie, there was a chunk of cucumber wedged in between his yellow teeth.

Lottie stood above him, squinting in the bright sunlight, her hands on the hips of her blue pinafore. It would be tea-time soon, and she would have to return to the parlor, or Mother would start to worry.

“Hello,” he fumbled with the words as he looked up at her, eyes flat and dark as tar. “Who are you?”

“I’m Lottie. I live here.” She pointed at the sprawling mansion in front of them.

“So do I,” he replied.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Do not!” Lottie yelled. “Do not, you stupid liar!” She kicked some dirt into his mouth and watched him sputter and cough, before running off.

When she reached the door she turned back to look and see if he was still there, but he was gone, leaving behind trampled flowers and fallen cucumbers.

***

At teatime she didn’t mention the boy to Mother, only sat and drank her tea, and didn’t even complain when it burned her tongue. She folded her napkin on her lap and didn’t let her elbows touch the table, and still, a praising smile never graced Mother’s lips. Her brow was furrowed as she continuously kept tucking strands of her dark hair behind her ear.

“What’s wrong, Mother?” Lottie asked as she shoveled some blueberry tart on her china plate.

Mother dabbed at her sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. “Nothing, darling. Do you mind if you finish up by yourself? I need to go attend to some business.”

Lottie agreed, because seeing Mother so angry made her very anxious, and Mother kissed her on the forehead with her cold, stiff lips.

Lottie resumed eating while kicking the family cat, Dolly. She would toss Dolly pieces of tart, and kick her in the ribs when she tried to eat it. After a while she grew bored and started aimlessly walking around the manor, dragging her sticky hands across the wallpaper, the wooden planks creaking under her bare toes. When she was crossing the second floor foyer, she heard a noise.

She looked up. The attic door was ajar. Carrying Dolly under one of her arms, she pushed open the door and started to climb up the narrow stairs. The attic wasn’t somewhere she usually liked to play. It was dark and dusty, filled with broken toys and canned foods, old sweaters made by long lost relatives that Lottie would never wear, and animal skins from her father’s hunting escapades.

She coughed and waved away a cloud of dust, glancing around the sun-soaked room.The boy was sitting on a milk crate, his knees tucked under his chin. His grimy fingers were deep in a can of corn.

“You again,” she said. “You need to stay away.”

“But this is my home.” He gestured around at the attic, filled with stacks of old newspapers, mothballs and threadbare blankets. His wrists were covered in deep, bloody welts, the pale flesh of his skin torn to pieces. Lottie grimaced in disgust.

“What’s your name?” She took a step closer, and as she did, a wave of a sour stench hit her. Acrid and sharp, rotting flesh and rubbing alcohol.

“I have none,” he said simply.

Lottie laughed. “That’s just silly. You must have a name – everyone does!”

“Not me.”

Lottie sat on the crate next to him, pinching her nose. “Where did you come from?”

“Here.” He picked up Dolly, who squirmed and hissed at him. “Pretty cat.”

“Don’t touch her, she’s mine.” Lottie tugged at Dolly. The boy’s grip grew tighter, and the cat yowled. “Let go of her!”

With a easy snap, Dolly hung limp in the boy’s hand. Tears sprung to Lottie’s eyes. “You stupid, stupid boy! Look what you’ve done now!” Wiping her cheeks, she grabbed the cat from him. “You stay away from here, and if I see you again, I’ll tell mother!”

“No,” he said, grabbing her arm. She recoiled at his touch, his grip harsh and stronger than one of a usual eight-year-old boy. His fingernails dug into her flesh, ragged and yellow. “You can’t let them know I’m here. Please, Lottie.”

Lottie didn’t know how this boy knew her name, and didn’t like it one bit. “Go away! I hate you!” She ran off, slamming the door behind her, cradling Dolly in her arms. Once she was back downstairs, she allowed herself to cry, blubbering and stroking the cat’s patchy gray fur.

***

When Mother and Father returned home, it was late, and Lottie was still sobbing. She hadn’t eaten supper, and this made her especially more sad, and her cheeks were streaked with tears. Mother wiped away her tears and asked what was wrong. Lottie told her everything, embellishing where she felt was necessary, her words garbled and weepy.

Mother gave her a tissue to wipe her tears, and she and Father went into the kitchen to fix her tea and toast.

She hid at the kitchen doorway, watching them talk in hushed voices as she ate her meal. Lottie couldn’t hear them but both looked angry. Mother’s lip was trembling. Father slammed his fist against the kitchen island, and Mother started to cry.

Their voices grew louder and louder until they were screaming, unintelligible words that Lottie couldn’t understand. “You built it, it’s your responsibility!” Mother poked her manicured finger into Father’s chest. “You told me, you told me you got rid of it!”

“Are you blaming me for this thing you created?”

“It was going to be perfect!” Her voice was raw, and she let out a final wail before Father slapped her across the face. Lottie coughed on a chunk of toast and Mother glanced over, blood trickling down her forehead. She sent her up to her bedroom to get washed up and in bed, her eyes wide and wild as a trapped animal.

When Mother came to tuck her into bed, Lottie asked her about what would happen to the boy. “Get some rest,” was all that Mother said.

“What’s going to happen?” Lottie asked. Mother just barely kissed Lottie on the forehead, her lips ghosting over Lottie’s skin, and flitted out the door. Lottie didn’t fall asleep, dripping with cold sweat, and a few hours past midnight she heard the downstairs door open. She crept to the window and opened it slightly.

Mother stood in the front yard, dressed in her nightgown and rainboots, holding a rifle. Father held the boy by the scruff of his neck. He had been beaten badly, bruised and battered, with cuts on his body,

Lottie was too far away to hear what they were saying, but Mother didn’t look as angry as she did before. She appeared more purposeful, determined. She brought the gun to the boy’s forehead as he screamed and pleaded, his hands flailing wildly. Just as her finger pulled the trigger, he shoved the gun so it was in Mother’s direction, hitting her in the arm.

Mother wailed in pain as she collapsed to the ground. Lottie raced out of the room and ran downstairs, to see Father cradling Mother in the groomed green grass. In the distance, she saw the boy, running blindly.

After a moment, Lottie grabbed the gun, the metal cool against her hands. She chased after him. “Lottie,” Father called. “Lottie, come back!”

The boy turned around for a brief second, saw her chasing him, and ran faster. He was much quicker than Lottie with his lanky limbs and long strides, but he was getting tired. They passed the sculpture garden and the swimming pool, and when they reached the gate, he was wheezing.

As Lottie ventured towards him, he held out his hands, bloody and soiled black. “Lottie,” he said. “Lottie.” She pointed the gun, her hands quivering.

“I don’t know you!”

“I was supposed to be you. I was supposed to be better.”

The gunshot rang out so loud Lottie had to cover her ears. She fell to the ground, shutting her eyes tightly as red splattered her. Mother scooped her up and Father stroked her hair, whispering that it was going to be alright. “We love you so much, princess,” Father said to her. “We love you so much.” And they kept murmuring that to her on the way back to the house, that they loved her so much, more than life itself, and that she did so well, and eventually Lottie drifted off to sleep.

The next morning when Lottie woke up, Mother told her that Father would be home soon, and that later they would all go and buy a new cat. “Any kind you’d like,” Mother said, readjusting the makeshift bandage around her arm. She still wore her nightgown, the front covered in dried blood.

Mother took her down to the cucumber gardens. Next to the trellis was a little sapling on a mound of freshly dug dirt. “So we can grow apples,” Mother explained. “We can make apple pie and tart, and you can climb the branches and play.” Lottie smiled and squeezed her Mother’s trembling hand. A strand of black thread lay tangled in the grass.

 

Commencement

Meryl sat at the end of the bed with her feet stretched out towards the carpet covered floor. George was reading a newspaper article in his same monotonous tone that had grown long on Meryl, but she loved it with all her heart. The air was sweet and thin with the smell of petunias and irony that cracked like a whip on a race horse’s calf. Meryl just sat and George just read and the slight hum of their bleach white fan glared over top of both of them. George stopped, and with angst and anxiousness all the like stared at Meryl. He set his newspaper down.

Meryl, Ive got something I want to tell you,George exclaimed while raising his paper thin hand to to adjust his night cap. Meryl, Ive got something to say and I dont want you to speak, just listen. Ive been reading the obituary, and Im seventy-four now. I will never understand those things, honor the dead by posting their worst picture in the paper. I mean for Christs sakes I can see right through their beady little eyes into their soul and there’s nothing in there but memories of their youth and beauty. Meryl, I want to say I love you and I have never been stingy with this phrase, when it comes to anytime of day or condition Im in. Meryl, I love you.

She rocked in anticipation of something unknown and it disturbed George to the fullest extent.

Meryl, say whatchadoinshakinlike that.His question came with no reply, but her uneasiness died down and her neck craned towards the ground, focusing on every dust particle within her line of sight. George gazed at her protruding spine and traced it with his gaze down to where her nightgown was no longer taut enough for it to show through. But with this pause came more words from George, he spoke with a sweet refrain

Meryl, Ill love you till the day I die, which is practically Tuesday. Yaknow I’ve never felt this way for someone, for this long, ever, and I juswont be able to bear leaving you, you’re the love of my life.His voice trembled with the thought of death, although he invited immensely, knowing it would take him away from his diminishing conscious, that was now only taken over with bits and pieces of memories and miniscule ideas. The atmosphere of the room depleted as Meryl began to shake vigorously again and havoc began to ensue, but peace was still noticeable in every form. She shook and shook, and George could only stare with a blank face, his physical body froze in an attempt to conceal his emotions. She stopped and turned towards him, her face was pale and drooped with every wrinkle, and he noticed the contours that now receded into her sad lonely structure, she once was beautiful.

George, Ill love you till the day I die, and that’s practically now.Her face drew slowly cold and she dropped once more to the bed, just as she had when they made love and the heavens sung their song of tranquility and infatuation. George picked up the newspaper with haste and scrolled with his eyes down to the left corner of the page he had been reading.

Meryl Smith: Dead at 78. Her epitaph shall read Death was beauty upon arrival and then swiftly took me from all I had ever known.’

Cookie Cutters and Green Aliens

 

“Daddy, what are those lights in the sky?” said Daphne, a five-year-old.

“They’re probably just spotlights from the movie theater,” her father said distractedly. It was late and Daphne was always asking so many questions.

“But I’ve never seen lights like that before,” she thought aloud as four lights zipped through the sky.

Her father, Will Jackson, walked over to the large bay window where Daphne was sitting. “There must be a movie premier,” he said. He tried to brush away his thoughts that the lights looked an awful lot like all those UFOs he’d seen on X-Files. There were four lights in a square shape that were moving in together and back out to a square. They had a silvery tinge in the cloudy night.

“Go to bed now,” Will said, looking at his phone. He was trying to figure if there was, for some reason, a movie premier in University Park, Maryland. There was not, he soon realized, a movie premier. Then what could they be! he thought. Maybe they’re searchlights, he tried to reassure himself. But then he took a look at the weird pyramid shaped house at the end of the street. He’d never been inside and the people who lived there never seemed to come out of the house.

 

“Amets, we have a problem,” said a little green man up inside one of the UFOs.

“What is it Placide?” groaned a very annoyed middle-aged lieutenant.

“We can’t seem to find the landing strip. There are so many small green patches and all these ‘houses’ look exactly the same,” Placide’s brow was furrowed and the architectural decisions of human beings confused him greatly.

“Those ‘small green patches’ are called lawns and it’s the only pyramid shaped house in the whole state how can you not find it?” Amets yawned, she was tired of the aliens obscure ways. “At least I’m retiring next month,” she mumbled to herself. Amets was human, but when she was a young girl she had been abducted by aliens. They persuaded her to help them with their journeys to earth. She trained with the young aliens at the ASA, Alien Spaceship Academy. She moved her way up in rank over the years and was now a lieutenant.

“I told you before that I am 212 and my eyesight is not very good anymore,” barked Placide while Amets snapped back to reality. ”Sometimes you forget that I raised and you should be thankful. You would have never been a lieutenant if it weren’t for me,” Placide said sternly.

“Uggggghhhh. Leokadia Hildr beam them down,” Amets didn’t feel like listening to Placide’s lectures right now. “Sometimes you forget that you would have never raised me if you hadn’t taken me away when I younger,” she said sarcastically.

“Right on it sir!” came the squeaky little voice of Leokadia Hildr. She was still training at the academy and was a little too enthusiastic for the lieutenant.

“Wait till the sky is clear,” came the annoyed voice of Lieutenant Amets Van Ballegooijen.

 

 

Daphne dreamed about the lights in the sky that night. She dreamed that the lights were spaceships and there were aliens inside. She flew the spaceship with help from the aliens. Then the spaceship crashed on the top of the pyramid shaped house and giant snakes started slithering out of the house. Then she woke up and ran out of her room. She hurled herself down the stairs as fast as she could and went out to see if the lights were still there. The lights were headed to the pyramid house at the end of the block! She clambered back upstairs to her parents room to tell them about the lights. “Mom! Dad! The lights are going to the triangle house down the street!”

“Shhh! Daphne I can assure you they’re just spotlights,” her mom whispered.

“No, come look! Their going to the house!” Daphne said excitedly.

“Alright I’ll come see,” said her mother entirely sure that her daughter was just having strange dreams but she knew that Daphne would never go back to sleep unless she went down to look at these lights. “See I told y-,” she stopped mid-sentence for there really were lights in the sky heading straight for the pyramid house at the end of the street. “Maybe I should go see if everything’s okay at that house,” said her mom, Heather.

“Mommy I want to come too!” Daphne almost screamed. She was so excited to figure out what was going on. “I saw it first!” she thought to herself.

“No, no Daphne. Go back to sleep,” Daphne was already snoring on the couch by the time she finished her sentence.

 

Where is the giant squid mucus Amets? I travel 8,000 light years to see the human I raised from when she was four years old and you don’t even buy me edible food,” said Amets’s alien stepmonster, Mahvash.

“They don’t sell that kind of food on earth Mahvash,” Amets said, exasperated.

“Where did I leave my things? I can’t seem to find anything these days with my terrible eyesight,” muttered Placide.

“Right here Placide. Geez, you guys have aged since I last saw you,” Amets said, amazed at how old her stepparents were getting.

Ding! Dong! “I’ll answer the door!” squealed Leokadia Hildr.

“No I got it,” groaned Amets. “Remember Leo, aliens never answer the door.”

“Yes sir!” Leokadia Hildr was constantly hyper.

“Hello? Can I help you?” said an irritated Lieutenant Van Ballegooijen. She was looking at a middle-aged woman with dyed blonde hair, hot pink nail polish, and a cheap spray tan.

“Hi! I’m Heather Jackson. I live right next door. I’m sorry to bother you so early in the morning but I saw some strange light headed toward your house. I was wonder-,” she stopped mid sentence when she saw a figure in the background that seemed to be green. It appeared to have a really pointed chin and large eyes, also pointy. Its head was much wider than its body. And then there was another one, but this one had on eyeshadow and curlers in its bright blue hair. And there seemed to be one more, this one much smaller with its green hair in two pigtails. “Pardon my asking but what are those green creatures?” said Heather, sounding quite confused.

“Oh! Well, um. You see…” Amets was at a loss of what to say. The aliens were supposed to stay out of sight!

“You are feeling sleepy, very sleepy. Abba gooji blavah. There you go Lieutenant! She’ll never remember this at all!” said Leokadia Hildr, very excited to be able to help.

Heather was completely unprepared to be hypnotized and so she immediately keeled over on the floor. She was in a sleep state while they fixed her memory. They played the memory on a screen and changed it to seem normal.

“Wow,” said a stunned Lieutenant Van Ballegooijen. “That was actually really helpful. I think you earned yourself a Brigadier position.”

“Really?! Thanks Lieutenant!” Leokadia Hildr was over the moon.

“You’re very welcome.” Amets even seemed to have a little grin on her face.

“Alright. Alright. Enough mushy gushiness. Let’s wake up this human now before anything starts to look too strange. Where is she though? I can’t see a thing!” Placide hated it when things got sappy.

 

Heather didn’t know what was happening. It seemed like she was still in the pyramid house and the green creatures were crowding around her. But her senses were off so she couldn’t tell what was really happening. Everything looked fuzzy and she felt like she was deaf.

And then she woke up. She was back in her own room and she didn’t know what had happened. She remembered walking to the pyramid house. Then she talked to a woman who said she hadn’t seen the lights and everything was fine. Then she had walked home. But something about that memory felt wrong. “Oh well,” thought Heather. “It was three in the morning.”

 

The Jacksons and the aliens never interacted again. The Jacksons lived their normal, cookie cutter lives and never thought twice about the people in the pyramid house again. The aliens went back home to their own planet and Leokadia Hildr became a Brigadier Lieutenant. Amets retired in Maryland and was very happy there. Placide finally agreed to get contact lenses and can see very well now. And Daphne grew up and became an astronaut. She no longer has to dream about flying spaceships.

All Right

The world was bleeding.

As far as the eye could see there was a barren wasteland.

Nothing.

Blood soaked the acrid ground leaving a macabre work of art, and bodies-

Oh god, are those people?

They laid on the ground, cold lifeless eyes staring up into the scorching sun. Choking down a wave of nausea, she ran to them. Carrion birds pecked at their eyes, leaving large red gaping holes.

Oh god, it can’t be.

“Go away!” the little girl shouted at the birds, their beaks red with blood. Her voice was raw, it scraped against her throat painfully, as if she had swallowed sand.

Please, please oh no.

Rolling a body over, the stench making her stomach churn, she prayed.

Please don’t be her, please.

The man’s face was scraped raw by sand, blood stained his beard, which was long and unkempt, hung in thick strands past his chest. Blood dribbled slowly from the corner of his mouth, which was twisted in a grimace of agony. He had taken many wounds before collapsing in the burning sun.

Thank god.

No, no, what was she thinking!

Tasting blood.

Tearing at her hair.

The smell, oh god, no.

He’s dead.

She must be, too.

“SHUT UP!” the little girl shrieked, holding her head in her hands, hot tears ran down her face as she stared up into the unrelenting sun.

A warm hand landed on her shoulder.

She’s alive!

Bloody and bruised but alive.

“Sis.”

A smile, a strange awkward attempt of a smile crossed her sister’s lips. Heavy racking sobs shook the little girls small frame as she clung onto the older girl.

“I’m here, now,” her sister said, hugging her.

And at that moment, despite all the chaos and despair, the little girl knew that everything would be all right.

An Excerpt from an Untitled Novel

Chapter 1

As Susan approached the mail chute, she played back his words in her head. Do not go anywhere near the fifth floor. The strange man in front of the seemingly abandoned building had not been clear when he warned her. Despite her questions, he refused to explain the dangers of the fifth floor, which only made her more curious to find out what was lurking there. Her intentions were never to put herself in danger, but she could not imagine what could possibly go wrong if she simply stepped inside to take a look for herself. Worst case scenario: I’ll scream, she thought, and someone should be able to hear me. True, there aren’t many people around here, especially as it’s 2 a.m. in Brooklyn, but someone ought to be passing by. That old man, for instance. Susan recalled the man’s words again, but it was too late now. She was already on the fifth floor, slowly walking towards the mail chute which had an odd, almost tangible aura around it. The man could’ve just been a lunatic, she thought, an escaped asylum patient. But she couldn’t deny that she felt something strange and different when the ancient staircase led her to the fifth floor. As she suspected, the building was abandoned; in fact, it was completely bare. All except for the single mail chute.

Susan was now close enough to notice an aged envelope lying there, and grabbed it to discover what it contained. Was this why the man warned me? Is there something in this letter I shouldn’t know about? she wondered, but tried to get the thought out of her head; he was insane, after all. The front of the envelope only contained a capital T written in indigo ink, with smudges on the side. With growing interest, Susan grabbed the envelope, attempting to open it, but before she could, an intense pain from her fingers began to distribute to the rest of her body. Wincing in pain, she cowered, suddenly realizing that her legs somehow looked smaller. With her hand before her eyes, she gasped as she watched each finger slowly shrink. By the time her mind could wrap around what was happening, she was already a miniscule fraction of her once tall and wide frame. Susan became just small enough to fit into the mail chute.

In spite of her better judgment, she sprung up high like a flea into the chute, and soared through its winding tunnels. The faster she fell, the weaker she felt. Her orientation was almost non existent, as she could no longer tell whether she was falling face down, sideways, or not at all. This is just my imagination. I’m at home. In my bedroom. Sleeping. This is just my imagination. This is just my imagination. But no matter how hard Susan tried to convince herself, she knew that the unexplainable events of the day were real. It was only two hours ago that I found John dead. It was only two hours ago that I ran from the house, heading nowhere. It was only an hour ago that I stumbled upon this place. It was only a minute ago that I made the mistake.

Bend after bend, tunnel after tunnel, Susan fell onto a concrete surface. I can feel that barbeque chicken pizza coming back up, she thought as she was overwhelmed by vertigo. Once the dizziness began to fade, she got on her knees and stood up, trying to figure out her surroundings. What she first thought was a regular road, was actually a thick piece of paper. What she first thought to be flowers or trees, were actually multi-colored ink marks. Some were sky blue, others navy; some grassy green, others dark forest. Squinting her eyes, they appeared as letters written in calligraphy. Her first instinct was to laugh; this could not possibly be what she thought it was.

“Watch out!” a deep voice echoed behind her. Susan spun around, only to come face to face with a horse black as coal. “Would you watch where you’re going, Miss? Some of us are in a hurry!” a man perched on top of the horse bellowed, his face turning the shade of a tomato. “And please do yourself a favor and put some clothes on!” What does he mean? I’m wearing a dress. The dress I wore to the dance. The dance I went to with John. Once he passed, it struck her that she was in the middle of a papyrus road. Old fashioned carriages pulled by the finest horses she had ever seen were passing by; the horses almost looking two dimensional like paper cut outs. Still, they galloped forward, obviously not restricted by their unusual form. She crossed onto what she assumed was a sidewalk, with its lightweight paper curbs and risen platforms. The individuals strolling along were not exactly the typical New Yorkers she was used to seeing on a daily basis. The girls who wore short shorts, the guys who wore baseball jerseys. These people were different; their clothes, their manner, their features. Susan had never seen such long, elaborate gowns, or such elegant, colorful hats. Not one of them had their ankles bare, or their back slumped. Each lady that passed looked more superior than the last. The men, likewise, looked like they had just come out of a Jane Austen novel. Mr. Darcy’s were surrounding her like tourists in Manhattan. Monocles, top hats, and waistcoats were all she could see; and she could not look away.

Again, she laughed, attracting attention from the 18th century-like crowd. This is some joke. Some sick, horrible joke. This day didn’t happen. It didn’t.

“Ow!” Susan’s thoughts were interrupted as a heap of sheets fell down on her, knocking her out of place.

“There’s no place for prostitutes in this town!” she heard a thick cockney accent from above. Susan glanced up at the paper houses, but the owner’s voice had disappeared. Without a second thought, she wrapped herself in one of the lace sheets, creating a makeshift ankle length skirt, to cover up the short mint green dress she had worn earlier this evening. John had loved it. She recalled the way he made her spin around in it, watching as the tulle fabric danced around her. It seemed like the start to a memorable night. And yes, it was memorable, but not in the way she would have ever wanted.

“My, you seem to be quite lost,” a pale faced lady said, looking her up and down as if she were a dirty peasant. Well, I sure must look that way to her.

“Uhh- Well, yes, I am. I’m really lost, actually. Could you, um, tell me where I am?”

“Certainly, my dear. You are on Quill Lane, right across from the park,” the woman replied.

“Yeah, but,” Susan paused, not quite sure how to ask the question. “Which country am I in? Or is country not the right term? Which land am I in?”

“Which land? What do you mean, child? There is but one, and this is it. Triarta,” the woman seemed caught off guard, thinking she must be talking to someone suffering from amnesia. “Poor child, you must come with me. You’ll be better soon, and when you are-”

“Triarta. With a T?” Susan interrupted.

“Why, how else would you spell it?”

It makes sense now. Susan thought back to the envelope she saw. A single, indigo T written across. The entrance to this country, this land, this world. Triarta.

Alone

There I was, standing, all alone…

It all started a month ago, June 18, 2014.

I was with my friend, Lexi White. We went to go see Maze Runner. We were standing in line for popcorn and candy, and I saw my ex, Hunter. Lexi hates my ex because we all used to hang out then when Hunter and I started to date she became the third wheel. When Lexi and I got in the theatre we got the PERFECT seats, we always try to get to the movies early.  We sat down and started talking and laughing and then Hunter and his best friend Devin sat right next to us. It went SILENT: you could hear a pin drop. After five minutes I got up and went to the bathroom, I slapped on some perfume, threw on a little lip gloss, and a little bit of breath spray.  It’s not like I miss him, but I still want to look good.  

I ran back to my seat and started talking to Lexi. It started getting awkward when I put my hand in the wrong popcorn bucket and Hunter and I touched hands. The movie started and we all got quiet, once the maze doors closed I got scared and Hunter tried to hold my hand. Once the Grevers got loose and started attacking in the glade Hunter put his arm around me and I snuggled in. After the movie Hunter and I hugged then he left and Lexi and I went to the mall, she started talking to me about what happened in the theatre and seemed pretty mad.

“How’s Hunter?”

“I don’t know, good I guess, why?”

“Just figured you knew.”

“Why?”

“Cause your little snuggle sesh. If you still liked him you could’ve just told me.”

“Why are you getting mad at me?”

“Because I don’t want to be the third wheel again! You’re my best friend and when you were dating Hunter we didn’t hang out, you were always busy with him. I don’t want you guys to start dating again.”

“Well I’m sorry but this isn’t your decision to make. Has it ever occurred to you that it’s not always about you?! It doesn’t matter that you don’t like him, cause I like him, and I’m the one that’s gonna date him, no matter if you like it or not!”

She left the mall and I had to find a way to get home. I was planning on taking the A train home. I went and sat in the Starbucks across the street then I ran into Hunter.

“Where’s Lexi?”

“She left.”

“Why?”

“She got upset with me cause she doesn’t want us dating.”

“We’re dating?”

“I mean we snuggled while watching a movie. It was kind of a date.”

“Yea. Um… Girlfriend.” Trying to move onto another topic.

“Hey where’s Devin?”

“He left, didn’t feel good. Since it’s just you and me, and now we are dating, why don’t I buy you a coffee and have our first official date.”

“I’d like that.”

That night was amazing. We walked in Times Square taking pictures and stuff, it was SO romantic. After that he drove me home, and walked me to my door. My parents were watching T.V.

“Why aren’t you at Lexi’s?” my mom said.

“Um… She didn’t feel good.”

“Then how did you get home?” My dad asked

“I took a train.”

“Cool, well if you want dinner it is on the stove so it should be ready around ten fifteen.”

I went up to my room and texted Lexi, she kept reading and not answering to any of my messages. Finally I ate dinner, my mom and dad asked me how the movie was, I said good. Tonight the dinner table felt super quiet, as if there was a lot of tension, and I KNEW it wasn’t just cause I got home earlier than I was suppose tod. I asked if anything happened, and they were very mellow and said things like “Nothings wrong, nothing at all.” Then would smile.

“How’s Lexi?” my mom asked.

“Fine…why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Your phone went off with a notification, she read your message. What were you talking about?” my dad asked.

“Um…school work, math, you know…stuff like that. Why?”

“I was just asking.” Both my parents smiled.

The next morning it was a cool Saturday morning, I put on my favorite brown saddle jacket and black heel ankle boots and headed outside. I went on a little walk to the swings where I was gonna meet Hunter, I got there a bit early and I saw one of my other ex boyfriends, Ben. He has brown hair with golden highlights, in a manly way, the PERFECT biceps, and has such a great personality. We’re now friends and we sat on the swings and talked, I hadn’t seen him since we broke up last year. He had to run to meet his family for breakfast, and we texted a lot after that moment. Hunter and I were talking about how we are both going to college next year and how our colleges are both only half an hour away so we can visit on weekends. Through out the week we would pass by each other in the hall and meet after school. Lexi still wouldn’t talk to me, till one day.

“Why won’t you talk to me?!” I blurted out in science class.

“You already know, I don’t like your boyfriend.”

“Is there something else?”

“No…”

“Really?”

“Well… There is but, I can’t say it.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“What is it!”

“Me and Hunter kissed the night you broke up!”

After that I was the one that couldn’t talk to her. I didn’t talk to Hunter either.

Friday night the door rang and it was Ben, he had a bunch of movies and kettle corn.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Good, why?”

“I heard you’re fighting with Lexi.”

“Yea, it’s because-”

“I know why.”

“How who’s talking-”

“No one’s talking about it, I kinda overheard you and Lexi.”

“Oh.”

“I think he should’ve told you.”

“Yea. It would’ve been good information.”

We started to watch a whole bunch of comedies and took pictures and posted on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and twitter. The next morning I got a text from Hunter asking about my movie session with Ben, and I fired right back with him and Lexi’s hook up. He backed away and started apologizing and things started getting complicated real fast.

Lexi still didn’t talk to me, and I could do nothing to fix it. Ben wasn’t talking to me cause he thought we were a thing and then I got back together with Hunter. Then Lexi and Ben wanted to get back at me by telling Hunter I hooked up with Isaac and even Hunter wouldn’t talk to me.

After a month I went from popular to loser, everyone thought I was a slut and all my friends stopped talking to me, I ate outside on a bench for lunch and I had NO one to talk to. That night I got a call on the home phone from the ambulance: my parents had gotten in a big car accident. I had to hop onto the train and run five blocks to the accident. They had to spend the night in the hospital.

I had to go to school early in the morning to get one the school bus. During  English class Mr. Smith got a note from our vice principal, I was to report to the office. What had I done?! I’m pretty sure I did nothing! I was told my parents wanted me at the hospital. Mr. Brown, our principal told me he hoped my parents were okay. I hopped on the bus and went straight to my parents room, the doctor told me I had an hour before they… will… pass. I couldn’t believe it. We had a long talk, my mom on my right in a bed, and my dad on my left in his hospital bed. After we talked about their will my mother and father faded fast, tears running down my face and my heart beating slower. I couldn’t believe it, they were gone, and this time, for real. My heart was alive but my soul was gone, or was my soul alive and my heart was gone? Who knows, but I know a part of me was gone.

I had to stay at my house alone because I need to clear out my house to sell it. After a week everything was alright, but my “friends’ wouldn’t even talk to me, the friends knew would be there for my one hundred percent. I started going through my parents stuff. In my moms desk I found a folder that was titled “Birth Certificates and Growing Up.” I opened it up, pages upon pages of paperwork and pictures of me as a child. I found a small envelope in big letters “Baby Pictures.” It was me and a girl in the hospital, about thirty pictures, and eighteen of me and this other baby girl, until the nineteenth one, it was just pictures of me throughout my toddler years. I went through one more envelope titled “Elenore and Elena,” I was wondering who Elena was. Once again pages upon pages of pictures, then I came across paperwork in a large binder clip, the last four pages were information about Lexi. It was like a note written to my mother.

Dear Kayla,

Your daughter Lexi White is doing really great with her adoptive family, but she is having trouble at home. Her parents are fighting every night and it’s affecting her school work, other than that everything is great. From Kerry.

I had a sister. My best friend is my sister. I needed to tell her, but she wouldn’t believe me. I have to bring this stuff to school tomorrow and show her. The next day at the end of school I walked up to her and said straight out,

“We’re sisters.” She obviously didn’t believe me. After I showed her the papers she finally believed me.

“Wow. We’re sisters… I can’t believe it, I knew something was special about our friendship.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about everything,” I said.

“You know, sisters would listen to each other, and take each other’s advice, especially about boys.”

“Are you serious?! We are sisters, I’m trying to say sorry and you won’t forgive me, sisters forgive each other.”

“If you were really my sister you would have taken my advice.”

“And look who mom kept!”

Everyone heard me and Lexi ran out crying, I ran after her, she wouldn’t turn around. My only thing left of my family is Lexi, and she’s gone. Now I’m the most HATED person at Belleview High, and I don’t have anyone to go to. Now I know, the part of me that was missing was my sister, my other half. Now I know why my parents were so quiet. June 18th, 2014. There I was, standing, all alone…

All Kinds of Wonderful

In a hole in the wall there lived a mailman. It was a damp, dusty hole, a small apartment full of dirty dishes and ripped shoulder bags and a musty smell. The mailman was not only a mailman. At least, he strived to be more. Everyone else seemed to be so many things: a brother, a daughter, an athlete, a musician, a lover, an adventurer… But Frank was just a mailman.

Every morning, Frank would turn off his alarm, roll out of bed, slowly button his starched blue uniform, grab a PopTart, and dash off to work. And work was where Frank’s life began. There was nothing in this world that made him happier than carrying letters, packages, and catalogues to the homes of suburban families. It gave his life meaning to know that each silver-haired businessman and young craft-blogger wife would receive each and every advertisement and private-school tuition bill on time. That was who lived in those fancy houses and tended those manicured lawns, wasn’t it? Frank never really paid attention to the people who left him Christmas checks in their mailslots. He didn’t even really pay attention to the mail he delivered. All that mattered to Frank the Mailman was the address on each envelope and the number on each door. He lived life door to door, satisfying his hunger for achievable goals with delivery after delivery and paycheck after paycheck. Frank’s rhythm of living had never been disrupted, and never would be for as long as corporate monoliths continued to send forests-worth of catalogues and fund drives to potential customers around the country. Or so he believed, until one fateful day in the dead of winter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Besides the occasional aggressive dog scratching on a locked door or unsalted, unshoveled walkway post-snowstorm, Frank had never really had difficulty getting mail to each door. Today’s challenge was entirely unfamiliar to the determined young mailman. Never before had he ever faced an obstacle so… impenetrable. As he arrived at the door of the first house on the street, Frank found himself at a loss. He had not the slightest inkling of what to do: the mailslot was boarded shut. Who boarded their mailslot shut? Were they trying to give their friendly neighborhood mail carrier an existential crisis? Frank turned away from the door and took a deep breath. Clearly the owner of this Craftsman-style, painfully beige home did not want to receive any mail (though Frank could not begin to fathom why). But he had a job to do.

“Screw the homeowner,” Frank muttered softly. “I am delivering this mail and that is that.” He slowly raised his fist to the door, freezing in place without making contact. The young mailman took three slow, deep breaths and knocked. Three times, he knocked, boney knuckles striking glossy beige paint over dense wood. No response. Frank waited a full minute before knocking again. BANG… tat-tat. He let out the breath he had been holding as the sound of footsteps began deep within the house. The door creaked slowly open.

Frank’s heart stopped as the most beautiful face he had ever seen appeared in the doorway. The face looked down at him from inside the house.

“How can I help you?” Frank blinked as the man in front of him spoke.

“I… have your mail, your mail slot’s boarded shut?” He stuttered over his words as he struggled to breathe in the presence of an almost inhuman beauty. Frank had never really noticed people’s faces before. Other people had just never really interested him. But this man– well, this man was something special. His green eyes shown wide with fear, and his thin, delicate lips were pressed tightly and nervously together. He took one deep breath before speaking to the mailman.

“I don’t want any mail. It’s always either ads or people.” Frank thought for a second before answering.

“I delivered mail to this house yesterday. Did you just move in?” The handsome stranger nodded slowly.

“The houses are farther apart here. Less neighborly. Please take your mail and go,” he turned away and closed the door.

Frank, not wanting to contribute to the furrow of the green-eyed man’s brow, did as he was told. But as he continued on his route that day, he could not keep his mind off the gorgeous, paranoidly detached young man in the beige house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another day, another truck full of mail, and Frank was eager to get to delivering it all. But as he arrived at the first house on his route, he remembered yesterday’s excitement. The beautiful stranger’s mailslot remained boarded shut. Frank froze in indecision as he pondered what action to take, torn between fulfilling the man’s desire to be left alone and completing his set task. And, though he would never admit it (especially to himself), Frank really did want to look into those wide green eyes just one more time. There was something about them. Something new and unfamiliar and overwhelming that drew Frank in and would not let him turn away. His decision was made– Frank climbed intrepidly up the stairs from the road to the man’s front porch.

This time he did not hesitate. He knocked three times, sharply and quickly: rat-tat-tat. And again. Frank was just about to rap on the door for the third time when he heard the soft sound of the man’s feet padding up to the door. It creaked open.

“I said I don’t want any mail,” the man said, promptly swinging the door shut–

“Wait!” Frank blurted, pushing the door slightly open again. “It’s just mail!” The man tried to slam the door in Frank’s face, but the mailman stubbornly held it open.

“I’ll call the police if you don’t le–”

“I’m Frank,” he interrupted the stranger’s threat.

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, the man responded, “Aaron.” It occurred to Frank that Aaron’s confusion was not directed at him, but within. Aaron did not know why he answered. Neither did Frank know why he had asked.

“Aaron,” he repeated softly. The name felt strangely comfortable on his tongue. “Why are you so afraid, Aaron?” Frank surprised himself by inquiring.

Aaron’s green eyes widened with shock. “Please leave. You’re my mailman. Goodbye, Frank.”

“Aaron! Wait!” Frank put out his hand to stop the door as Aaron began to close it yet again. As Frank looked past the door and into the house, he saw his beautiful stranger standing in a room like in one of his catalogues that he delivers every day. The room just within the doorway was a living room, filled with neatly-stacked books and impeccably-folded blankets. But there were no pictures. No Christmas cards. No evidence of a human life. In a way, it reminded Frank of his own living room. He had no pictures either. He received holiday cards from his parents and his sister’s family every year, but he just threw them out. Frank was anything but sentimental. Looking into Aaron’s house, it occurred to him that maybe this other man was afraid of connecting with people, rather than simply uncaring.

Frank was shaken out of his introspective daze by a loud ringing from within the house.

“Are you gonna get that?” he said to Aaron.

“No. It’s either a telemarketer or someone I used to know.”

Frank sighed. Turning around and leaving Aaron forever was certainly not an option anymore.

“What do you want, Frank? I don’t want your mail. I told you. Please just leave me alone.”

“I…” Frank paused. What did he want, really?” And before he knew what he was saying, Frank had done the unthinkable. “I want to take you on a date.”

Aaron stared at him, his face expressing the same shock that Frank felt. “Wh… wha– mm… Friday at 6:30,” Aaron stuttered, and slammed the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frank had not been on a date since high school. He actually had just never really desired one. The whole world seemed to be focused on dating and love and all that, but Frank was never really interested, which would concern him if it were not for the fact that nobody interested him, ever, except Aaron. Frank had only met him three days ago, and already he was feeling something completely new to him.

He danced nervously on the curb outside his car, hesitant to approach Aaron’s house for non-mail purposes. Nothing in Frank’s life was ever for non-mail purposes. But he knew that the apprehension he was feeling was nothing compared to Aaron’s utter terror. Frank took a deep breath and walked to the door.

Three slow, nervous knocks later, Frank was looking into Aaron’s eyes for the third time. The taller man was dressed in a crisp blue button-down and grey khaki pants. He had clearly put effort into his appearance.

Frank smiled. “Ready?” Aaron grimaced.

“I don’t know, Frank, I’m not sure I want to do this… I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m sorry.” He turned to close the door, but Frank blocked it. This seemed to be becoming a pattern. How odd it was for Frank to be the one encouraging interaction. His place was usually Aaron’s, the one closing the door on someone who only wanted to connect. But Frank closed doors out of apathy. Aaron closed doors out of fear.

“Aaron. We don’t have to go anywhere fancy if you don’t want. I just… I’ve never wanted to do this, whatever this is, with anyone else, and now that there’s you, and you’re afraid, and I don’t know why, I just can’t turn away. And I don’t think you can either. You set the date, and I’m getting the feeling that’s not really your thing.” He paused for breath. Frank had not used his voice for anything this important in his life. Nothing had ever felt so important. Aaron stared at him for a while before answering.

“Okay,” he said softly. “Okay. Let’s go.” Aaron stepped over the threshold and locked the door behind him. Frank noted his key in his hand. Aaron’s change of heart must have occurred the moment Frank knocked on his door. The two men walked together to Frank’s car and got in. They spent the ride in tense silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frank stared at the glass in his hand, spinning the ice around with his straw. What had he been thinking? Here they were, Aaron telling him about his interests and his family, and Frank had nothing to say. He had no interests. He never talked to his family when it was not required. All he really cared about was delivering mail. So he just kept asking Aaron questions, which made the other man extremely nervous.

“Frank? Why do you need to know so much about me?” Frank swallowed.

“I don’t, I’m just interested. Maybe. I don’t know, I’ve never really been interested before.” He looked across the shiny, beat-up wood table into Aaron’s deep green eyes as he admitted this.

“Frank. I don’t know if this is such a good idea. What if you hurt me? What if I hurt you?” Aaron spoke with urgency. “I mean, someone’s going to get hurt. It always happens. It’s inevitable, Frank, the world hurts.” Frank nodded. It made sense that the man who boarded his mailslot shut felt that the world was out to get him. But Frank couldn’t really relate.

“You know, I don’t think it does. The world is just kind of there. Why bother doing anything other than survive? I deliver mail to buy food to eat food to live. It doesn’t have to hurt.”

“But that sounds so boring,” Aaron responded. “I mean, if all there is is survival, why would you even want that?” It was a good point, Frank thought. He had never really thought living was an option. Life, and life only, is compulsory.

“Well, it’s better to not care than to be so scared of getting hurt, isn’t it? At least I can live.”

“But can you? Do you?” Aaron asked. This question was one he had asked himself often. Frank, though, had never felt the need. But now it had been asked. And it needed an answer.

“No.” Frank was suddenly struck by a sense of possibility. Things could change for him. Things needed to change. Frank had never seen value in caring, but now he saw the opportunity for all kinds of wonderful in human connection. He saw potential for joy he had never thought to desire. And across the table, looking into his eyes, Frank had a sense that Aaron was feeling a similar sensation. Here he was, feeling something beautiful, and seeing potential for more than just pain. The fear was still there, still just as strong, but the hope he felt was overpowering. In a rare moment of bravery, Aaron leaned across the table and pressed his lips against Frank’s.

Frank forgot how to breathe. This was something new, something he never wanted to forget. In the moment before Aaron pulled away, Frank caught himself thinking,

You know, maybe there’s more to life than mail.

A Princely Price

 

Part 1: The Gift

Laughter twinkled from every corner of the room. Glasses were clinked, and stories were swapped. A small knot of adoring visitors clustered around a small crib, in which a tiny baby lay, asleep, oblivious to the celebration in his honor. One of the partygoers reached into the crib to scratch the baby’s head, and when she did, the baby awoke and laughed a tinkling little laugh. All the guests smiled and congratulated the queen on such a healthy beautiful baby.

A moment later, a herald cleared his throat from the corner and announced in a loud, booming voice, “The fairy Tatiana has come to bestow upon his Royal Majesty Prince Phillip his birth gift. Welcome, Tatiana of the Eastern Glade!” There was polite applause as a tall fairy clad in sweeping blue robes swept into the room. Her wings, protruding from holes cut from her robes, were a deep, glittering, azure, and their ends almost brushed the marbled floor. She glanced smiling around the room and made her way slowly over to the crib.

When she reached it, Tatiana paused for a moment, then turned to Queen Arabella, the prince’s mother, and said, “Your baby is beautiful, and healthy, and so I need not give him those gifts. Instead,” she said, turning back to the crib, “I give him the gift of persuasion. May he be a gifted a speaker with a quick tongue and a ready reason. May his words always hold true with those around him. This gift, I give to you, Prince Phillip of Helgana.” Tatiana then opened her palm above the baby’s head and a shower of dazzling stars rained down upon the infant.

The guests waited expectantly in hushed silence. Nothing happened. Tatiana broke the awkward silence in an imperious voice, “His gift pertains to speech, and as such, it will not take effect until the child can talk. I believe, for a child of his capabilities, that that would take approximately two-”

“Tatiana,” The Queen Arabella interrupted, “I think you’ve done enough here. Might I have a private word?” The queen’s face was ashen, for she alone had realized what her son’s birth gift would truly mean when he grew up.

Tatiana strolled casually after Arabella as she led the fairy to a small antechamber off the hall. When they were both inside it, Queen Arabella asked, “Do you mean to tell me that my son will be able to control anyone he wishes to with his voice alone?”

“Naturally, Your Grace.”

The Queen moaned, “What have you done, Tatiana? As soon as he finds out the extent of his gift, there will be no one who can control him. He will be king someday, assuming someone doesn’t kill him first, can you imagine that? My birth gift was resourcefulness, my sister’s compassion, why couldn’t you have given him a gift like that? Can you imagine a ruler whose word is literally law? There is a reason fairies aren’t supposed to give children all-powerful birth gifts! A monarch that has too much obvious power is in more danger than a monarch with none. Do you know how angry the people will be if he misuses his gift? There will be uprisings, rebellions, plots, and murders! By blessing my son you have cursed my kingdom!”

“Calm yourself, Your Grace. If you raise the child well, your kingdom will have nothing to fear.”

“I cannot control who he will be, Tatiana! Yes I can love him, and raise him well, but in the end, it is his own heart that will decide the course of his rule.”

Tatiana sighed, “Very well, Your Majesty. I think I can devise a loophole.” She closed her eyes and concentrated, “One moment… yes, I think I have it. You know, of course, that there can only be one of each birth gift alive at any given point?” The Queen nodded.

“That’s not entirely true,” continued Tatiana. “Fairies are not the only ones who can give birth gifts. Gnomes give them too, though never to royals, and to only a few, select commoners. If, somewhere in the world, a child gifted with persuasion met Phillip, and one of them tried to use their gift upon the other, and one resisted, one of the gifts would break in the struggle. If Phillip’s broke, then the void normally filled with persuasiveness would steal some of the birth gift of the other, and vice versa if the other’s broke. Either way, Phillip’s gift is substantially reduced and completely harmless. He probably couldn’t even convince you to give him a box of candy. And voila! You have your happily every after.”

Arabella did not look so happy. “That’s a lot of ‘ifs’, Tatiana.”

“It’s the best I can do, Your Majesty. There may not even be need for the loophole.”

“Let us pray that there won’t be. Farewell, Tatiana. Give my greetings to your brother.”

“Farewell, Your Grace. Good luck with that boy of yours. I’m sure he’ll turn out to be a splendid young fellow.” With these words she swept out of the room as gracefully as she had come, and at that moment, thirty-six miles away, a baby named Carrie Anna Felton was being granted the gift of persuasion by a kindly old gnome.

Part 2: The Journey

Eleven Years and Three Months Later…

Carrie awoke with a start, clutching her blankets and staring wide-eyed out her window. Wolves circled the house, drawn by the gnome sleeping in the adjacent bedroom. Gnomes often came to stay, as her father worked with them often for business, and every time one stayed for the night, frustrated wolf howls kept her awake. Breathe, Carrie, she thought to herself, Just breathe and it’ll be over before you know it. They’ll leave before dawn, Carrie, they always do.

Within an hour, the wolves gave up and left, and Carrie fell asleep shortly after. She awoke with the sun, and went downstairs to find only the gnome awake, happily humming as he made flapjacks and eggs for breakfast.

“Why hello, sleepyhead! You’re normally up an hour before this!” exclaimed the gnome cheerily.

“The wolves kept me awake last night.”

“Ah, yes. Sorry about that. My magic must be getting stronger!” He laughed, letting a few gold sparks dance merrily off his fingers.

Carrie smiled, unable, as always, to be sad or tired in the gnome’s presence. “Must you leave today, Mookmack? Mother’s making mushroom soup tonight, your favorite.”

“I admit it sounds tempting, mi mookadi,” said the gnome, using Carrie’s gnomish nickname, “but I must be up at the palace tomorrow. Queen Arabella has requested my presence and it would not do to upset a royal.”

“Why’d she summon you?” asked Carrie curiously.

“She’s asked me to do a Telling. Apparently she’s worried about her son’s birth gift, and wants to know if it’ll cause any trouble. Persuasion, same as yours, mi mookadi,” Mookmack said, ruffling Carrie’s hair fondly. For once, Carrie did not smile back. Instead, she stared hard at her plate and made no response.

“Ah, forgive me, I had forgotten you abhorred your birth gift so. You know, not many commoners get birth gifts. If my cousin, Zookam, hadn’t been so fond of you, you wouldn’t have a birth gift at all. Besides, I’d venture to guess you’ve never manipulated anyone with it?”

Carrie shook her head. Though she didn’t say so, she hadn’t used her gift since she was four, and had no intention of using it in the near future.

Mookmack smiled, satisfied, “Gnome gifts are always more down-to-earth than fairies’ are. I’ve always said fairies shouldn’t be trusted to give out gifts; they’re much too prone to arrogance and hunger for power, not something you want in a royal.” Mookmack tossed the last flapjacks onto a plate and placed it on the table, where three other plates sat steaming. “Everything’s ready for breakfast, mi mookadi, go wake your parents, and tell them I didn’t add mushrooms to this batch of pancakes.”

An hour later, the plates were cleaned and put away, and Carrie, her parents, and Mookmack sat at the table, chatting about Mookmack’s journey to the palace.

“Be careful on the roads, and keep an eye out for brigands, I’ve heard there’s a swarm of relatively intelligent pixies who’ve taken to thievery,” said Carrie’s mother, Kathryn.

Mookmack laughed heartily. “Don’t worry, this gnome’s got a few tricks up his sleeve that no thief on earth has seen before.”

“All the same, you might travel faster if you didn’t have to worry about safety. You sure you don’t want to take one of the dogs?” Carrie’s mother asked, concerned.

“No, no. I don’t get along well with dogs, no canine breed seems to get along with gnomes, but,” he said slowly, “I was thinking that maybe, if she wanted to, Carrie could come along with me.”

There was a rather startled silence at the table.

“Well… I suppose so… what d’you think, Carrie?” asked Carrie’s father tentatively.

“I-I’d love to, Mookmack… but it’s just… the farthest I’ve been from home is to the meadow to take the dogs for a run.”

Mookmack reached out and squeezed her hand fondly. “You’ve got good, gnomish instincts, mi mookadi; you stick where you belong, but sometimes it’s good to get out and see the world, so that when you get come, you appreciate it all the more. Besides, I’ll be with you the whole time, and when we get home, you’ll have something extra special exiting to tell all your friends. What’d you say?”

Carrie thought for a moment, then said, “I think I would like to very much, Mookmack. What should I pack?”

Three hours later, Mookmack and Carrie sat upon the back of an old mule, Carrie in the front and Mookmack behind, and along the ten-hour ride, they told stories and jokes and riddles, and though Carrie thoroughly enjoyed the gnome’s company, she was glad to dismount the mule and approach the castle gates.

Part 3: The End

“Your Majesty, Queen Arabella of Helgana, may I present you with the gnome Mookmack Zinzendorf of the Southern Tunnels, and Carrie Anna Felton of Farwick!” called the herald in a loud, clear voice as Carrie and Mookmack entered the throne room.

Carrie could not help but gape. Her whole house could have fit in half the room alone, and her eyes had never witnessed such an incredible display of color. Banners hung on poles high above her head, and portraits lined the walls along the hall. Then there was the queen herself. She was clad in a deep purple gown with a crown that glittered as though stars gleamed through the diamonds adorning it.

Mookmack led Carrie to the front of the hall, directly before the queen.

“Your Grace, the gnomes send their fondest wishes of your health and happiness.” Mookmack did not bow, but touched his heart, eyes and nose with one hand, and extended it towards her, palm up, as was gnomish custom.

“Greetings, Mookmack. You do not know how grateful I am for you to have come. I thank you.” She returned the gnomish gesture of heart, eyes and nose, and then turned to Carrie. “I did not realize you intended to bring along a child, Mookmack, though of course she is more than welcome if she journeys in your company.”

Carrie bowed respectfully, “Your Majesty.”

The queen smiled. “You look the same age as my son. Speaking of which, Mookmack, I am assuming, by your presence here, that you are willing to do a Telling for my son?”

Mookmack nodded. “I am, but I must warn you, Your Majesty, his future may be murky; I cannot guarantee a successful Reading.”

“I understand that, but I do not feel that I have any choice. He’s getting more dangerous by the day.”

“How do you mean, Your Majesty?”

Queen Arabella sighed, “He is becoming obsessed with testing his gift, controlling everyone around him with his voice. It’s become so bad we’ve had to lock him in a tower and keep practically no one around him.”

“Is that really necessary, Your Majesty? Do you know how many stories there are of children turning into angry, dangerous adults because they’re bitter about injustice as a child?”

“I assure you it’s necessary, Mookmack. The other day he used his gift to make a stable-hand jump into the moat just because he’d forgotten to feed Phillip’s favorite horse breakfast. It took three hours to fish him out, and the poor lad is recovering in the infirmary and is likely to be there for another two weeks.”

“I see your point. Lead on.”

The three of them walked out of the throne room and climbed up a steep, spiraling, cold, stone staircase. They walked down a long corridor, then down a small flight of steps, then down another corridor, and when they reached a thick, wooden door, the queen finally signaled them to stop.

“The prince is inside. I know your magic will protect you from his words, but all the same, be careful. When you have completed the Telling, come back out here and tell me what you found. Carrie and I will wait here until then.”

Mookmack disappeared inside the room, closing the door firmly behind him. They could hear nothing through the sturdy, wooden door, and it felt like an eternity, though in reality it was only five minutes, until Mookmack came back outside.

“Your son’s future is difficult to perceive,” he said solemnly. “There are two clear paths he could take, though there could be countless others that I was simply unable to see.

“The first is quite simple. He would continue on the path he is on now, and become a destructive and tyrannical king. He would die and his child would take over, etcetera, etcetera.

“The second path is more complicated. And it involves Carrie.”

Carrie looked up, startled. “What?”

The gnome looked gravely up at the queen, “I happen to know how to break a fairy’s birth gift, and though it doesn’t happen very often, I believe we could manage it- if you would allow it, of course.”

The queen nodded. “Continue.”

“I don’t know whether you realize, but Carrie’s birth gift is persuasion.” Mookmack took a breath to continue, but was interrupted by the queen.

“Do you mean…” She trailed off, then bent close to Mookmack’s ear and began whispering urgently to him. Carrie couldn’t catch what they were saying, though she tried to. After a few moment of this, Queen Arabella straightened up and said, “Carrie, I would very much like you to go into the room, and when Phillip tries to control you with his voice, as he undoubtedly will, you are to resist. Resist with every fiber of your being. If you successfully resist him his gift will be broken. Then we can give him a less dangerous gift, perhaps, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“What if I fail? What if I’m not strong enough? Would my gift break?” asked Carrie in a small voice.

Mookmack put a hand on Carrie’s shoulder and said quietly, “Only you have the power to fix this, only you can save Phillip, and by extension, the kingdom, from this disaster. Please, Carrie, I ask you as your friend, do this for Helgana.”

“I’d like you to know, Carrie,” said the queen in a tense voice, “that I do not say this often, but… I need your help.”

Carrie looked up at both faces, and felt rather flattered, though she knew it was because of her birth gift, and not because of her. “Um… okay. I’ll try.”

Queen Arabella beamed, and Mookmack smiled proudly, “That’s my little gnomeling!”

Carrie couldn’t help but smile as she pushed the door open and let it close with a dull thud behind her.

The prince sat reading in a chair in the corner, and barely glanced up when Carrie came in. “Oh, yes, you. Please take away my tea things. I found I wasn’t very hungry today.”

Carrie stared at him, not moving. It took the prince a moment to realize that Carrie wasn’t following his order. “What are you doing? Take the tray away!”

Carrie still didn’t move. The prince sighed impatiently, “Why must I always ask three times for something to be done? Very well, if I must, I must.” He set down his book and locked eyes with Carrie. When he spoke, his words were layered with what seemed like hundreds of different tones and pitches, yet all synchronized into one, perfectly balanced voice. “Take the tray downstairs.” He said, “Take it to the kitchen. When you have completed that…” Philip trailed off for a moment, thinking, then smiled craftily, and said, “When you have done that, hand in your resignation. The royal palace does not need disobedient maids like you. That is all. Go.”

The prince picked up his book again and resumed reading. Carrie still didn’t move. She knew he had used his gift, or tried to, and though it had taken very little effort to resist, she also knew Philip was perfectly capable of turning the power up, so to speak, as she had learned from personal experience.

Her prediction came true within moments. Philip looked up once again from his reading and this time, looked annoyed, “You’re either exceedingly stupid, or you have a stronger will than most I’ve met. Now, let’s try again.” Philip locked eyes with Carrie and repeated his words, only this time his voice seemed layered with thousands of different tones, not just hundreds. Carrie stared back, feeling the magic flow from his voice into her mind, telling her to bring the tea tray downstairs, but somewhere in the back of her brain, a different voice awoke. A voice that said no. Even as Philip’s gift urged her to bend to his will, her gift made her hold her ground.

When Philip increased his power for the fourth time, Carrie could feel the pressure building in her head and could see sparks dancing along the line that connected their eyes. Philip stood, and then collapsed back into the chair, still pushing magic at Carrie. Carrie felt as though a chair to collapse into would have been nice. She felt her gift pulling energy from the rest of her body as magic from her gift began to dry up.

Sweat began pouring down Philip’s face, and Carrie could feel the same on hers. On the line where their magic clashed now danced fire instead of sparks, a growing, hungry fire. It started in the middle of the line and ate its way towards Carrie’s and Philip’s faces. It reaches Carrie’s first. She watched it approach, not daring to give in and break the connection, but the pain she had expected didn’t come. Instead the edges of her vision began to grow dark as her magic fed off the last of her energy to fight off Philip’s. It was too much. She didn’t have the strength to maintain the connection. Her vision was flickering. I can’t do it. I’ve failed. Forgive me, Mookmack. I tried.

The next second the fire exploded. It consumed everything. Carrie couldn’t tell where her body ended and the fire began. The only thing she could feel was the thin line of magic still somehow connecting Philip’s gift to hers. And then, somewhere in her sub-consciousness, she felt something snap. She couldn’t tell if it was the connection, Philip’s gift, or what was left of hers. She found she couldn’t muster the strength to care… and then everything faded and her vision went black.

Voices. Not manipulative voices. Not hungry, angry voices. Just voices. Carrie opened her eyes and stared up at a deep purple ceiling speckled with silver stars. She rolled over onto her side and found herself looking at Mookmack. He was smiling. “Well done, mi mookadi.”

“Mookmack…what happened?”

“You destroyed the prince’s birth gift. I’m afraid you accidentally destroyed your own gift as well, but no matter, I can replace it. How would you feel about maybe strength, determination?”

Carrie thought for a moment before deciding, “That sounds wonderful, Mookmack.”

Mookmack beamed, “I’ll do it when we get home.”

At that moment the queen entered what Carrie now realized was the infirmary. Arabella wasted no time getting down to business. “I trust Mookmack has filled you in sufficiently?” Carrie nodded. “Well then,” continued the queen, “I’ve been thinking about how to replace Philip’s gift. I was thinking maybe patience or courage, but I’m not sure. I was just wondering what you thought.”

Carrie knew instantly what to say, “Understanding. He’s been making everyone else see his point of view for so long he should see theirs now. It might make him more accepting about losing his old gift.”

Arabella smiled. “I agree. Farewell, Carrie Anna Fulton. You are welcome here any time you wish. I’m sure my son will find the humility to thank you one day. I can do so for him now.” The queen bowed slightly in farewell. “Have a safe journey home, and don’t forget to visit. When you get older there’ll be a job waiting for you here. I promise. Just… wait a year or two before you do; my son is a very stubborn fellow.”

Carrie smiled back, “Thank you, Your Majesty.” But in her heart, Carrie knew where she belonged, and it wasn’t in the palace. Mookmack seemed to know what she was thinking and as the queen swept out, he whispered in her ear, “You have good instincts, mi mookadi, good instincts.”

A Cat in the Chamomile

The boy’s pictures lift from the page, the black cat and the girl standing on the bluffs are no longer trapped in his perilous paper. The cat is curled around her shoulders observing the rise and fall of the tide against the rocky edge of the bluffs. Fear of the rocks, and the cold water prevent the cat from taking a no doubt foolish leap of faith into the foamy waters lapping up against the sharp cliff. However, the cat’s human couch holds no such fears, and now that she is a tangible being she has nothing left to lose. She is nothing but a miniscule girl standing at the edge of a teacup, the cat on her shoulders so small you have to squint to see him. By some miracle, the tea in the cup is moving of its own accord, crashing brown waves of steeping Chamomile against its porcelain walls. The boy stares intently at his little monsters, waiting to see the girl jump into his boiling hot breakfast. The cat can sense something, a shift in her footing or a slight bend of the knees as if to tell the cat she’s preparing and he should either stay along for the ride or hop off now. She jumps and the cat is digging his claws into the girl’s shoulders trying not to let himself go flying in the air, because being separated from the girl in an ocean of tea is far worse than being forced into the murky brown waters in the first place.

The boy takes no notice of the sacrifice either of them have made because he is busy creating a new image to bring to life. This time, he paints with vibrant colors, because the pencil gray of the cat and girl was too bleak.

Center stage in his colorful masterpiece is a fountain, and all around it are children playing and parents talking, men and women selling things on the cobblestoned street corners fading into the edges of the paper. The children are reaching their arms into the fountain trying to grab at pennies that have been tossed in for luck, they’ve rolled up their sleeves and lie flat on the edge of the marble fountain. Their parents are walking around chatting, and wheeling their little ones about in push chairs. Those selling goods around the square are bargaining with men and women trying to get what they desire for a price they think to be more suitable. All of these things are in beautiful colors, shades made meticulously over time by someone who cares deeply about having just the right shade of green or lavender. The grass sprouting from cracks in the bricks, the water spouting out of the fountain in graceful arcs, the pennies glimmering under the water, all of these things are beautifully crafted by someone who knows the painting is more than a painting. The boy makes a final mark and sits back in the couch, he smacks the pillow and a cloud of dust rises from the green velvet, in the dust the scene takes place, as each mite moves in the sunlight coming from the windows the people in the square are going about their business as if there’s nothing out of the ordinary happening in their little town, parents are scolding their children and making them throw the pennies back into the water and salesmen are shouting at irritating bargainers, bothering them with their constant need for a lower price than what’s been offered. The iridescent dust floating through the air is colored beautifully by reflections of the different shades coating the room. The boy leans back in the couch and watches as the people he has created play out their every-day lives for him, it’s like a movie to him, he sits and watches, silently observing as they go about their regular business. At the door he hears a knock and he’s standing up on the couch in a flash, waving his hands around in the air trying to make his images dissipate into nothing more than dust again.

 

——————————

 

When his mother entered the room the boy was standing on the couch waving his arms about like a madman. Because she was unsure what he was attempting to do, she didn’t notice the dust particles stretching apart and dissolving, the faces of the townspeople turning into what they used to be — dust.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Leo?” his mother asked, stomping into the room, “the neighbors will think you’re insane.” She walked to the curtains, pulling them closed, the dust only visible in the light streaming in from the windows was gone in a flash and the boy was left standing on the couch staring into the air with a blank expression. “For god’s sake Leo, get off the furniture!” she shouted walking across the room to fluff the pillows on the couch, “you shouldn’t even be in your father’s study, you know how angry he gets when he sees that things have been moved around in here.”

“Sorry,” Leo said, tromping out of the room in a daze. With a lack of things to do, he decided to go back to his room. In the back of his closet Leo kept a collection of drawings. They weren’t any good though because most of them were just boring sceneries; the people in his pictures liked to run away. Leo wasn’t upset that they wanted to run away, he often felt the same way he imagined they did.

From his room the garden looked shady and relaxing, and from the garden his room looked luxurious and better than how he remembered it. He ended up going back and forth between his room and the garden a few times before deciding to stay in the garden, because he was far too tired to go back up the stairs another time.

Dusty pieces of chalk were lying unused on the pavement that wrapped its way around the garden. Leo sorted through bits of chalk trying to find a blue piece but the only colors he could find were white and yellow, and obviously yellow was too happy of a color for his current inspiration, so he left the chalk on the floor and promptly began to sketch the outline of a woman. She was trapped under the concrete. He drew her furled brow and clenching fists, her face twisting into a silent scream. The grainy pieces of chalk moved about on the pavement and told him the woman’s story. She pounded on the ground beneath him and the boy took a step back, afraid that he might of made his newest creation a bit too life sized for his taste. When the concrete gave in to the woman’s fists she exploded into the air leaving Leo a stunned chalk covered mess. He could only imagine what the neighbors would think; purely for his mother’s benefit he hoped the shade that slid from the tree boughs had covered his chalk colored mess in the garden.

The first time Leo drew the woman was in the garden. He was ten and he wasn’t aware that it would be more than just another drawing to hide away in the back of his closet. He kept drawing her, over and over again on every scrap of paper he could find, and each time he drew her she changed a bit, sometimes she would be too tired to break out of her little scrap of notebook paper altogether and Leo would wake up the next morning to see that she was gone, maybe she had slipped off the corner, or maybe some time during the night she had broken free of her paper walls. Leo started drawing her just to see the different ways she could escape. After a while, he began to choose his favorite ways in which she managed to free herself. There was the time that the tiny piece of paper she was trapped in managed to fold itself into an origami person and ran off his desk only to find death waiting for her in his trash bin; that happened when he was eleven. There was also the time that he drew her on a napkin he got from a breakfast diner and she ripped open the flimsy tissue paper holding her back; unfortunately the waitress was responsible for her demise that time, the glass flattening the small girl made of ink, when Leo was only fourteen. At the age of sixteen he drew her in the margin of his sheet music and she sailed away on an eighth note, she stood on the F sharp and clung to the stem gazing towards the edge of the page and just like that she sailed off the corner of his paper and into oblivion.

As Leo began to realize that he couldn’t paint or draw as a profession he started exploring other things that he thought he may enjoy. He was terrible at dancing, in the course of his first lesson he managed to break three toes, and wedge multiple shards of a mirror into his left knee. After dance, he tried to immerse himself in the art of cooking, but he seemed to overcook everything he touched and sometimes, if the mood was just right, set a couple of things on fire. However, it wasn’t his decision when his mother banned him from the kitchen after he broke her favorite mixing bowl, burnt a vintage dish towel and accidentally melted a pair of scissors with a plastic orange cover on the handles oo the top of their stove. After cooking was soccer, you’d think that after he tried dancing he would know better than to try something physically demanding, but no, by some miracle he believed that he would be fantastic at it. Not the case. In fact, during his first game he ran into the goal and had a purple bump on his forehead for a week. Shortly after he tried soccer was the first time he picked up a cello. His first turning point was when he felt the chords produced by bow on string resonate through his body. After that, he started taking lessons regularly and auditioned for summer conservatories and started going to a performing arts school when he was sixteen.

He knew that playing the cello wasn’t something out of the ordinary like drawing a picture that comes to life. He knew that playing the cello wouldn’t get him poked and prodded in weird labs far from home. Besides, what if it wasn’t real, what if he was just crazy? If he was crazy he didn’t want to know, he didn’t want his whole world to crumble around him like the people in his paintings worlds had disintegrated.

 

——————————

 

I leaned over the curving piece of wood and put my pen to the page. I began to draw the woman again. She was standing on my eighth note with her arms wrapped around the stem, she was gazing across the page at all the other notes clustered in their individual little groups, each bar told a story like the stories my pictures told. I felt like she was trying to read this foreign language that presented itself in dots and lines strewn about over an unrecognizable grid.

She was lost I suppose; she was always trying to escape the piece of paper that she was confined to one way or another. She started to lean down on the note and she pushed her makeshift sailboat off into the waters of music ahead. She was drifting across the lines letting a nonexistent wind carry her and her precious eighth note ever closer to the edge of my page. Her tangled hair was blowing behind her as she drifted off the paper, she tumbled onto the stand and started running until she leaped off and fell surprisingly gracefully to the ground. She spent a short time living life out of her paper because she was promptly stomped on by a violinist who was quite unaware of the fact they’d ended a life. If you could even call what she had a life. All that was left was a black puddle of ink, that slowly seeped into the carpet, leaving what would no doubt be a permanent stain.

As Olivia settled back into her seat she made the casual remark, “there’s supposed to be an eighth note there,” and carefully penciled in one of her own making. If I had attempted what seemed so trivial and basic to her my eighth note probably would have lifted off the page and exploded, leaving ink all over my papers. There was an eighth note there, and now it was gone, because of what I drew, but does that really make it real? Am I just seeing things?

——————————

 

He started playing the cello when he was fourteen. It was a foreign idea to him at first, he thought it would probably be another thing that he could add to his list of failed hobbies. It didn’t come naturally to translate the notes into sounds and the sounds into emotions. He grew to understand the language these sounds spoke and he enjoyed it more and more as he continued to play. There was something about the instrument that intrigued him, but he could never understand what.

 

——————————

 

I’m still not used the the way I have to sit. It hurts my legs to be in such a weird position for so long and my back starts to ache. I’ve been lugging that cello around on my back to and from school but now that it’s getting hotter I get tired more easily. I get home late from practice and I haven’t been drawing lately, but I can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing.

Even though sometimes playing the cello hurts and carrying it around is tiring, I think that I’m starting to like it, and at least I’m not as bad at this as I was at cooking. I mean I wish I could draw, but my drawings aren’t for other people, they’re for me. Mainly because I think other people would think I’m weird, and if they don’t think I’m weird they’ll probably think that I’m insane. Maybe I am, I keep drawing the same thing over and over, like I’m addicted to making that one image. Crazy people are the people who do the same thing over and over again thinking that there will be a different outcome each time, but there isn’t because every time that I draw her, she leaves.

I feel like the woman is tormenting me, following me wherever I go, making me draw her, but I’m probably the one tormenting her. I keep trapping her, and she has to get out over and over again, maybe I should draw something else for a while. Let her rest, let her not be trapped for a bit. I have a strange need to draw her, though. I don’t understand why, I think it’s because I need to reassure myself that she can get out, that she can leave whenever she wants. Sometimes I want her to stay, not because I get lonely; I have friends, but I want her to stay because I never get to finish drawing her before she leaves. That’s why I keep drawing her, because she isn’t finished. I’m not done drawing her, she’s not complete. Yet, she never is- she always leaves before I get a chance to finish her. Does that still make me crazy? I’m not expecting her to change every time I draw her, and I’m not expecting her to stay, I’m trying to finish drawing her, because I never have, not in the garden not on any scrap of paper I’ve ever put her on.

 

——————————

I’m not going to draw her here again, I can’t. It was too close this time, she’s real. Olivia saw the missing note, she may as well have seen her jumping off the paper. I can draw something else, I should draw something else. I need to draw something else. Rain will cleanse it, it’ll cleanse the paper. Like she was never there. Olivia’s gone, I should do it now, the worst that can happen is that a sink faucet will start leaking.

I turn the packet over to the back page. I start drawing the rain dripping from the top of the page in rounded furious drops racing towards the bottom of the paper. That’s when we start hearing it. Thundering drops of rain smashing against the rooftop, the drops on the paper start vanishing and the rain gets lighter, the alarmingly loud drops of rain against the roof settle into a light pittering.

“I didn’t know it was supposed to rain today,” Olivia says, sitting down again and lifting her cello from the floor.

“It wasn’t,” I reply, opening the packet back to the correct page and leaning it against the stand.

The rest of our rehearsal is by most means ordinary. I don’t like drawing in public, somehow it makes me feel vulnerable.

 

——————————

 

I need to find a way to finish her. If she leaves again I can’t finish her. She’s always found a way to escape, and I need to paint her somewhere she can’t leave.

The piles of empty scenes painted on used papers could be her new prison. Could she be trapped in this new environment?

I’m looking through pieces of paper that hold memories of past paintings trying to find a place for her, a place where she can’t leave. There are the bluffs which she would probably find a way out of and the valley with a winding river where she could easily sail her way downstream and into the real world, where I would never be able to catch her. To her there is always a way out of the paper, she always finds new ways to escape the pages that I put her in, I shouldn’t put her on paper this time, I need to find a new stage for her. What if I were to paint her on the mirror. Could she break it?

I begin to plaster her image to the glass, and I can’t help but see myself in her now that I’m drawing her over my own image. She isn’t moving as much as she usually does, she’s just looking, she’s trying to find a way out of the mirror. It’s like she can see herself for the first time. Come to think of it, she’s probably never had the luxury of looking in a mirror, I wonder what it feels like to look at it from the inside, can she see me. Maybe she doesn’t know that I’m painting her this time, maybe that’s why she isn’t trying to escape, she doesn’t know that she has to.

At least it gives me the opportunity to finish painting her. I’ve given her more detail than ever before. Her eyes are more blue, her face looks more real, her freckles and the curve of her nose are more complete than they ever have been. I didn’t even know that she had freckles before, but now she’s done, her eyes her mouth her hair, all of it is perfectly finished, exactly the way that I never knew it could be.

 

——————————

I’ve always had to find my way out of the paper I’m stuck in or the floor I’m under because the stupid boy that paints me can’t let well enough alone, but now I’m not trapped in some gloomy place. I can’t see the boy any more, and I hope that means that he isn’t here. I can see so much now, the things I could never see from inside my paper. I can see people. Just one person, she moves the same way that I do. Slow and careful, watchful, I’m always watching, watching for an exit, any way out of the paper. I can’t see any way to leave this place though, and while at first it was excitingly new, and beautiful now it seems like a carefully designed prison. One that I can’t find my way out of. Every time I approach a visible edge or any sort of empty space the girl follows me, making sure to keep a careful eye on me and stick close.

 

I think that she’s starting to realize where she is. She keeps coming closer and farther to the face of the mirror staring intently into the open space between her and the glass. All I can do is wait to see if she can escape this time like she did all the other times she’s run from my pages. I sit watching her from my bed seeing if she’ll slip out of the glass surrounding her. What she does is always unexpected though so I’m not completely sure what she’ll do, I never am.

I feel as if the glass is far more fragile than she is as she poses more of a threat to the mirror than I, or the mirror does to her. She knows that the glass can be broken, and now she’s preparing, her fingertips spread on the floor, she’s bending as close to the ground as she can, leaning forward resting her weight on her fingertips ready to fling herself towards the glass. When she does begin to run she is fast, rushing towards her only exit in sight, and the glass is breaking leaving shards of the mirror on the floor and paint puddled on the ground marking the loose sheets of paper that were left empty by the others who had escaped the way she did.

 

——————————

He hasn’t drawn since the woman escaped his mirror. He picked up all the pieces of glass and cleaned up the splattered paint, he put the empty papers back in his closet and he left all his supplies there too.

He doesn’t seem sad or angry. He was satisfied to have finally finished the painting, and even though the woman escaped again, he was glad. Because he knew that she couldn’t stay trapped in his mirror forever, but he was at a loss, he had no motivation to draw something new. He was done drawing the woman for now, maybe forever. He didn’t know what else there was to draw because for so long now the woman was the only thing that he drew. He was stuck.

The summer heat seemed to swallow him whole and he didn’t know how to keep drawing now that something he had been working on for years was finished, but had disappeared like all his other work. It wasn’t sad so much as it was disappointing. He wanted to be able to keep the things he’d made, but they had minds of their own and didn’t want to be trapped in his papers, and he understood why, but he still missed them.

——————————

 

After that, I was nothing more than paint soaking into floorboards and once the boy finally found the courage to come anywhere near me, all he did was wipe me away, cleaning up the mess that he’d made, or was it a mess that I’d made. It’s so confusing here. It was more confusing in the mirror though. I think that’s what it’s called. A mirror.

It’s been so long since the last time that he painted me and it’s something of a relief not having to break out of so many prisons anymore. Each one was more challenging and confusing than the last. Even though part of me is glad that he doesn’t draw or paint me anymore I always feel on edge, because I know that eventually he may paint me again, but I’m not worried about that, I always have that nagging thought in the back of my head though.

The place where I am now is nice, it’s where all the people from his drawings go. It’s a town in a valley; there’s a river weaving it’s way through the town and there are little gondolas with soft cushions in them that you can ride downstream to the next town over. At night, the men and women sailing the gondolas hang lanterns from the boats and they cast shadows into the glittering water hugging the curving edge of the boat. There is a fountain in the square and the children throw in their pennies for luck, there’s a market set up lining the edges of the cobblestone square in the center of the town. Extending around the town are small cottages and grand Victorian houses, modern buildings and ancient crumbling monuments, it’s a mish mash of imagination of older times, and twenty first century architecture. The streets wind in confusing pathways where there is no definitive left or right, there’s straight-ish, left-ish, and right-ish, with the occasional left-ish straight, or straight-ish right.

The people here have their quirks but they’re nice and they seem to get along pretty well. I’m normal here, not invisible to the ignorant people who flatten me with glasses of water or accidentally step on me. I’m normal here because these things have happened to the others too. I live with a girl who fell into a tea cup and disappeared, she’s been looking for her cat ever since, but she suspects the worse. I try not to think about where the cat might be if not here. Then again maybe he’s on a gondola or sneaking into one of the old houses down the street. If not I hope that he’s okay.

I’m not sure if the boy’s going to draw me again and I hope he doesn’t because I want to stay here, I’ve visited before but never for as long as this because he would always draw me again, what bothered me is that every time he drew me I was a little different, sometimes I would come back and people would ask me where my freckles came from or how my hair had changed color. Most people don’t change once they get here, the children typically stay children and the adults typically stay adults, once people are drawn and they end up here, if they aren’t drawn again they don’t leave, and they stay the same, I was one of the few people who changed. Sometimes people would get painted again and they would come back very slightly different, maybe their teeth were a little straighter or their hair was a little longer, but every time I came back I had noticeably changed and it was never a bad thing but eventually it became frustrating, when I could never get used to my own reflection.  

 

——————————

 

Lydia found her cat yesterday, he had been following people home trying to get food from them. She saw him trying to sneak into a gondola and managed to grab him before they left the dock. I don’t particularly understand her need for the cat but I like him, he makes funny noises when he’s prowling through the house.

There was never anything else with me in the paintings, I was always alone, sometimes there were other things on the page but never other people, or animals, no pets for me to bring home after escaping the pages.

I think that I’ve found a final home though, it’s one of the slightly newer houses the boy had drawn, lots of tall windows that filled whole walls, I’d never been in a house with so much light. Lydia and I have been getting along well, she was my first friend here. She works at the dock welcoming new people from the boys drawings and helping them settle in, we’ve assumed that we’re about the same age, whatever that may be. None of us know our exact ages, there are the children, the adults, the people somewhere between being children and adults, and there are the old people. Most of my other friends are the older people. They’re nicer than the little ones and they don’t make as much fuss about things, or at least most of them don’t. I met many of them at the market in the square, they sell things like antiques or vegetables, Marlene even sells wine that she’s been aging in her cellar ever since she arrived in this town.

I’ve been considering catching a gondola and taking a ride upstream to see what the other towns are like. We live in one of the farthest towns out but in the center there is a large city. That is where all the things he painted from the real world went, most of them are tall buildings he painted or drew as ways to practice perspective. The others are just more modern things and people, the farther you get from the city the older things become. In our town there aren’t many things that work electronically, but in the city everything works with a system of wires. Our town has older houses and even a cathedral he painted from a picture taken in France. It has stained glass windows and towers above all the other buildings in our town. The only thing is we don’t really have a religion here, we know who made us and we wouldn’t worship him in any way. Not to say that we hate him, because we don’t, but most of the people here just don’t really see him as someone worth worshiping. However, I definitely don’t consider him to be a friend, after all he’s the reason why I could never stay here for very long, and I resent him for it.

 

Josh

I like being alone because it’s the opposite of being with people. I’m only in my thirties, and I’m already completely exhausted with human relations. I live for the moment where I get to go home from my job, from the long, tedious day of labor. Not that the labor itself is so bad, but I can’t stand the humiliation of it. The people. Just today at work, I was reminded of all my ex-friends who are more successful than me when I saw a group of fancy consultants wearing ties walking down the street. And there I was, collecting trash from their houses. I hate that I have to do that.

Every Thursday, I start in the south neighborhoods. The poor ones. You would think their trash would be the worst, but actually, the rich people’s is sometimes more disgusting. Not saying it’s fun in the south, though. It’s not. I’ve just become numb to the whole process at this point. Nothing changes, especially not in the projects. When I reach a new neighborhood, I jump off the truck, run down the street as fast as I can, and have to manually pick up every single bag of trash these people leave out. I used to think about it a lot more, you know. I used to wonder what was in the slimy white bags. I wondered what these people ate, how much they slept, what their families were like. I used to look at their houses, look at the scenery. Now I don’t wonder. It’s just trash, and their houses are all run-down anyway.

Once I’ve made it all the way down the street, I have to haul the bags back to the truck. Then, my partner in the truck has to help me load them in the back. My partner’s always the same. Joe. We don’t talk much, but there’s an understanding there. He’s a big guy, bigger than me with more muscle. I’m a little more pudgy, to be perfectly honest. Joe’s married with kids, but we don’t talk about it. I’m not either of those things. He knows this. Our communication is nonverbal. It’s like, he throws the bags in there for me, and then I sort them out, putting the big ones on the bottom and the smaller ones on the top, optimizing the space.

We make our way up north. I can see the colors getting clearer, more flowers popping up, you know the way you always do when you get into a “nicer” area. It’s like some kind of eternal fog has been lifted and the blue sky is back in sight. But somehow, it’s not comforting. The rich people are arrogant. They always give me pointed stares from the street, and I have to look away. I’ve never lived in a rich area. Where I live isn’t extremely poor either, it’s somewhere in the middle. I’ve always lived in areas like that- not beautiful, but not horribly maintained. Not big houses, but not tiny ones either.

Once I get into rich neighborhoods, it’s the same thing as the poor ones. But like I said, their trash is different. Not the actual content, but how they take care of it. They’re lazy, because everything is handed to them on a silver platter. They never tie the bags up all the way, so I have to push wrappers and tissues and apple cores in the bag. My hands always get nasty. I carry around some sanitizer back in the truck, just because I hate the smells that linger on me. These streets have less houses per street, because they’re more spread apart. So there are usually less bags to carry, thankfully. But in the end, it still takes just as long. Joe sits in the truck, waiting. He plays with his hands a lot, but doesn’t do anything of substance. What is there to do?

At the end of the route, we drive the truck back to the city department depot. It’s the same every day. I have a fuller route on Thursdays, but I do other jobs for the rest of the week. Refuel other trucks, plan alternate routes in case of bad weather, supervise other workers. I’m somewhat of a senior, as is Joe. We’ve been working here for ten years. There’s so much shame in it, in these jobs. I would be lying if I said I was proud of what I do. But I am committed. There’s a difference.

I wanted to be a schoolteacher. I liked kids. A lot more than adults, for that matter. I’d never liked adults, but “teacher” seemed like a good profession where I wouldn’t have to deal with them that much. I applied to two public schools in the area. Application denied. Couldn’t be a teacher. I gave up. Don’t know why. I just lost hope. After that, I waited tables for a couple years. I hated it. Way too much interaction, people stepping all over me, entitlement. “This isn’t what I asked for. I wanted the mashed potatoes, not the sweet ones.” Who raised these people, I grudgingly thought to myself. I needed something more solitary.

Garbage collecting it was. I had always been pretty strong, and I was able to manage the routes. I didn’t think it would be the time of my life, but little did I know how it would depress me. I’ve lost contact with all my friends from college. It’s not like I ever had many. I had a lot of anger issues in college. I was very impulsive. Made bad choices. I only had two or three real friends. One of them is a consultant now, one is a lawyer, and one is some kind of business associate. They’ve all done better than I have, by the normal standards of success. We kept in touch the first few years after college, but after that, it just stopped. I still once in a while get Christmas cards from one of them, Rob. He’s married and has a beautiful family. It hurts to see. Christmas cards always do. They’re just reminders that everyone else has figured it out, and I’m just here. I mean, I do have a steady job. That’s something. And I boat. That’s the one thing I truly love. I love the water. I boat, sometimes fish, I swim too. On the weekends. The water is comforting, because it’s so otherworldly. A place where not everything is hot and sweaty and dirty. Dealing with trash collecting, dirty is unfortunately my normal.

Is there anything else important? My parents are both alive, still married, whether it’s happily or not I don’t know. I talk to them sometimes, but not that much. I was never very close with my parents. I never fought with them either, but I just never connected with them on much. If that’s not horrible to say. I was always close with my siblings, though. I loved my little brother. He was kind of a quiet kid, and had trouble standing up for himself. I remembered one instance when I was in 7th grade. He would have been in third. Some kid called him a retard because he was having trouble with multiplication or something. Stuart came home sobbing. He was so sensitive. The next day, I hunted that kid down after both of our schools were finished for the day. That was where all my anger issues, my dislike of people began. How could anyone be mean to my small, kind, mousy brother? I didn’t understand it.

Nowadays, Stuart’s learned to stand up for himself. He’s still a pretty non-confrontational guy. He gets along with everyone. I wish I was like that. I guess I get along with the guys at work, but there’s been a couple times in the last few years where I’ve just had these fits of rage. Like there was a time when I beat someone up in a McDonald’s parking lot. Another time, I told someone else who was boating at the same time as myself to shut up for no apparent reason. But the worst of it all, and I mean the worst, was when I yelled at a homeless guy on the street and ended up in the hospital. Let me backtrack.

It was a hot, hot summer. Very humid outside, the kind of summer where you can’t escape the sun’s glare. A week before, I’d been boating and holding my sunglasses in my hand. I’d fumbled a bit and they’d fallen straight into the ripples of the water. Gone. Now I had no shield.

Besides going down to the water, I’d been trying to stay inside as much as possible this summer. I much preferred the cool air coming from the AC vent to the air outside. But I hadn’t been to the grocery store in a month, and my various staple foods (tomatoes, tortilla chips, et cetera) were growing rotten and stale. I decided I would make a very quick round downtown and then return. I wouldn’t dally there. I’d been in a bad, brooding mood all week. Some new, too-talkative trash collectors had gone on the wrong route, deposited the wrong trash in the wrong place, and wreaked havoc on the entire system. This had happened more than once. I managed to keep myself together, but something was bubbling at the surface.

I walked out of my house into the scorching sun and felt its rays beat directly on me. I shuddered and headed straight into my car. I always hated driving downtown, and today was no exception. People were so disrespectful. When I saw them throwing trash down on the ground, letting bottles and cans loose from their hands, I felt a sting in my chest. I have to clean that up. I’m their maid. I have to work for these people. I told myself to breathe, not to lash out.

I had made it all the way to the grocery store when I opened my car door to an interesting sight. A seemingly homeless, blonde man wearing a cap and long pants (despite it being summer) was begging passersby for money. Typical. I didn’t know why I had no sympathy. Was I a psychopath? I didn’t have much time to ponder this before I got out of my car and thrust myself into total disaster.

“Excuse me? Do you have any spare change?” His tone was far from polite, I felt. I didn’t want to give him any money.

“No, not right now,” I said gruffly and began to walk away. Most homeless people would leave it at that, you’d think. But he was ruthless.

“Please. I’m really hungry and I just want to eat something.”

That’s when I felt myself tip. Into unknown territory. It’s like a monster took over my body and my hands and my mind and I wasn’t me anymore. I couldn’t have been responsible for what happened next. I won’t hold myself responsible for it.

“Shut up!” the monster screamed.

“I can’t stand desperate people like you begging people like me for money. I don’t have time right now. Leave me alone.”

The eyes of the homeless blonde guy, who I later learned was named Henry, widened like a deer in the headlights. I was about to briskly walk away and into the grocery store to fulfill my actual purpose of being downtown when some random decided to add insult to injury. He approached me with a confrontational expression on his face.

“Dude,” he said. I stood still, waiting for the punch line. “Don’t be such a jerk,” he said to me.

“Come on. That guy is homeless. Seriously, just give him some money.”

First of all, why couldn’t this man just mind his own business? Second…I never formulated a second.

That’s when a blinding light flashed in front of my eyes. My palms were sweating. It felt like I was above my body, like I was watching myself. Watching this monster. His fist outstretched. He punched the man straight in the gut. The man doubled over. I felt myself return back to my body. I was nauseous.

I woke up in a bright white room very suddenly. Jolted alive. Tied down to a chair with an oxygen checker on my arm. No one in sight. What happened to me? I felt chills all throughout my body, and an anxious feeling as though I was crawling out of my own skin. A nurse came in. Oh. I was in a hospital. Wait- why?

“Excuse me? Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Her seemingly once-warm brown eyes looked tired, tired of this work. I didn’t blame her.

“Look, I’m just the nurse. I need to get the doctor that was working with you in.” I breathed in and out a few times before responding.

“Okay,” I finally mustered. I felt slightly calmer now that there was someone coming.

A few minutes later, a male doctor with short brown hair and a white coat approached the chair.

“You woke up,” he said. I nodded.

“I guess I did. Look, I really want to know what’s going on.” He looked down at a paper next to him. My records? Notes about whatever was happening?

“It seems that earlier this evening you got into a fight. All we here know is that you punched someone and they punched you. You both passed out and were checked in to the ER in ambulances at about 6 o’clock. I can’t tell you anything else about the other man involved, for confidentiality purposes. All I know is that now you’re awake, we need to get you all checked out and make sure you’re fine.”

It was exactly one hour from when Dr. Malfour said that and when a new nurse came in to poke and prod me. I was pretty sure I was fine, and they seemed to think so too, considering they gave multiple other patients priority. Which was okay with me.

I will never forget how it felt in that emergency room. I have never liked hospitals. They make me tense and put me on edge. But they can also be places of inner revelations, of thinking about things you’ve never thought before.

I had none of my belongings with me in the ER. I never even bought my groceries. Thinking was all there was to do.

Why did I punch that man? The simple answer was, I lost my temper. I lost my temper and I wasn’t thinking and I wasn’t myself. That was crystal clear, because the normal me couldn’t have done this. The normal me got mad and lashed out, but couldn’t have punched a stranger on the street.

The deeper question to ask myself: why was I so angry?

Once when I was in seventh grade, I was sitting in my newly-painted blue room, lying on my bed. Listening to music. I recall it was classic rock, though I can’t remember the artist or the song. It was October, and I remember the paint smell and the crisp smell of the air from outside my bedroom window blending together to create a distinct fragrance. I was peaceful.

My inner calm was abruptly interrupted by the front door opening and shutting. Stuart was home.

My little brother annoyed me as all little brothers (and sisters, for that matter) can, but I was protective of my sibling and loved him very much. I still remember him running up to my room, thrusting the door open. His little voice trying to speak but being interrupted by tears.

“Josh. G-g-guess what happened today? Seventh period?” My attention was all on him now.

“What happened? Stuart, come on. Tell me.” He gulped out the story. That a kid had called him retarded because he had had trouble with some timed multiplication game the teacher had made them play to help them learn. My brother didn’t like the pressure of being timed, or any pressure at all, and was known for caving. I shook my head in distress.

“What did your teacher do about it, Stew? Did she get that kid in trouble?” I felt my fists ball up. I needed justice to have been served. But somehow, I knew it wouldn’t have been.

“B-b-barely. She made him sit outside for a few minutes, that was it. He barely got yelled at.” The vision in my mind of my brother’s blue eyes and puppy-dog expression was as clear to me in the emergency room as if it had happened the day before. The camera lens in my mind zoomed in on his face, in and in and in until finally, he disappeared.

This was the first time I ever felt this anger. My heart beating out of my chest, my fists squeezing over themselves.

Right as my brain was circling around, a new nurse came back into the room. She tested my blood, and performed a quick physical examination on me which included checking for injuries. In all the quantifiable ways, I was fine. “You’re fine,” the cheery redhead chirped.

They chalked this episode up to my “mental health.” Very vague. They recommended that I go to therapy for my anger. Screw that, I thought, my introspective self from moments before almost completely vanishing into the distance. I left the hospital and walked back to where my car was. I could go back to work the next day. And I did. As far as I was concerned, this experience could be water under the bridge.

I told Joe what happened the next day. I’m not sure why I did. I didn’t really think we were friends, but at the same time, we were partners. We were picking up trash from a new neighborhood on the west side of town. It was a very quaint area. The people somehow all seemed small and insignificant. The way I liked them. They seemed like the type who would mind their own business. There was something that calmed me about the place, how it was pretty but not perfect. I felt at ease, dangling my feet below me.

“I punched a guy yesterday,” I blurted as we were about to go into another neighborhood. Joe looked at me, looked back down at the trash, and chuckled. I almost completely regretted telling him right there and then.

“What’s funny?” I said indignantly.

“Sorry, Josh. I didn’t know what to say. It’s just that I’ve known you for so long, and I just knew that you…I can just see you doing that. So what the hell happened?” Despite his less-than-comforting words, I felt that Joe genuinely wanted to know, and I wouldn’t deprive him of information at this point.

“So there was this homeless guy. Asking me for money when I got out of the car to go to the store. He was bugging me a lot. I said no, I wouldn’t give him money. Some jerk basically comes up and tells me to give him the money, and I just kind of lost it. I punched him, he punched me, we both passed out for a while, we went to the hospital. I got out last night, I guess.”

Joe nodded. “I see.” That’s all he said. I think he already felt he overstepped his boundaries by saying that he expected this of me. Which, in my opinion, he did. But maybe I would have appreciated more than just “I see” in response. I didn’t know. This was the relationship between me and Joe, men of few words and even fewer rampant emotions. At least, ones we would openly talk about.

The next day was the weekend. Saturday, my day off. Days off were usually not a big deal because it didn’t matter to me whether I was working or not. It wasn’t like being at home was so freeing.

But that day, I decided to take my boat out on the water. It was a windy, cool but very pleasant summer day and a perfect day for sailing. I drove up to where it was parked at Capan’s Island, a mere forty-five minutes from my house. The most powerful and transformative forty-five minutes to have ever existed. Because when they were over, the blue sea laid out in front of my eyes was better than any land dwelling could ever be. That was just what I thought, what I think, what I’ll always think. No humans can survive underwater.

Sailing comes easily to me. Ever since I was a young boy, I’ve been fascinated by the way the wind could move things just the right way. How it wasn’t another person who made my boat work, just me and the forces of nature surrounding me.

I have just turned ten years old.
My father and I don’t communicate very much. It’s always cordial, but he doesn’t make an effort, and I’m only ten and don’t know how I can. The ways he shows his love for his firstborn son are limited, the number one being “presents on my birthday.” Normally, I don’t care much for presents. New clothes, new toys. Sometimes, I don’t even end up using them. “Thanks, Dad,” I always say, and give my dad a hug whether I like my presents or not.
It’s my birthday again. My dad tells me that his present is a “special trip,” to occur the next day, and says no more than that. In the morning, he takes me down to the beach in Quay, a beach town two hours from our house. We go there sometimes as a whole family, but I’ve never gone with my dad alone. I am thrilled when he asks me, though. Thrilled and shocked. Dad wants to hang out with me? Just me?

We fill the ride with my father’s classical music blaring from the speaker, the windows down and the salty beach breeze getting more and more noticeable as we near Quay. We have a cooler, two towels, and goggles for me. I will swim. He won’t. He’ll read the paper on the sand. This I know. Today is unusual already, but not unusual enough for my dad to swim.

I’m wrong. My dad doesn’t swim, but today is more unusual and magical than any other day in my life so far. As we walk onto the boardwalk, my dad walks me over to one of the lifeguards on duty. The one who’s not sitting in the chair. This lifeguard’s job is to walk up and down the beach and make sure everything’s going smoothly, collect tokens, and answer questions. When there are any. The beach is usually a pretty question-free place, lucky for him, but today, my dad and I approach him. “Hi, do you know where the sailing class for nine-to-twelve year olds is?” my dad says.

The lifeguard motions to a group of kids sitting in a circle next to the sailboats on the sand. There is a blonde-haired man with toned muscles and an athletic build standing next to them. His arms are crossed. “Head over there.” My dad nods thank you and we walk away. I’m tugging at my dad’s sleeve, begging that he tells me what is happening, but he won’t. He knows that I wouldn’t agree to sailing with other kids if I had any choice. He also knows I love sailboats.

When I was five years old, we came down here and I saw a group just like this. The big kids. On sailboats, on the water. I still remember marveling at how free they were. They can do anything. They go anywhere. I told my dad, “One day, I’m going to be big and I’m going to sail on the water and I’m going to be special.”

I don’t think my dad paid attention to me when I said I wanted to sail, to propel myself over the limitless lake. But here I am, walking up to these exact sailing lessons. The instructor’s name is Logan. The kids, I don’t remember. They’re all fine people, but the social part of the experience is and will always be lost on me. Which is fine, because what I get from it is so much more important. I’ll never forget the feeling when they finally let me sail. It is worth all the time spent explaining how it works, going over the safety procedures. Once I am on the water, it is clear I am a natural.

I still am. I spent my whole Saturday that day on the water, until it grew late and dark. I then parked my boat, which I got two years after my first sailing lesson. I sat down and watched the sky. I hadn’t seen any stars there for years, so there was nothing to look at. I drive home and go to sleep. The next day, it isn’t my day off anymore. Weeks pass without incident.

I haven’t been on the boat since then. I tell myself it’s because of time. But even I know that of all the things I’m missing, time isn’t one. I could make time.

I tell myself it’s because of winter coming. Which is true. But I’ve been making excuses to not go to the water since midsummer. It’s like I get something out of making myself miserable.

I don’t like summer either, but winter is by far the worst season. When I begin to see evergreen Christmas trees crop up in the neighborhood, when I see wreaths placed carefully on doors, that’s when I know it’s “failure season.” The season where the timeline of everything comes into picture, where I see that everyone else is moving smoothly through the maze of life. “Married.” “Kids.” “New Job.” I have never sent a Christmas card. I don’t do much on Christmas, unless Stuart asks me to celebrate with his family. He knows I don’t like to, so maybe he won’t this year.

It is finally spring. I’m sitting on the dock near my parked sailboat, feet in the warm water. The buoy calmly floats on the low tide, canoes and motorboats alike laid out on the sand behind me. The sun’s shimmer begins to dim as it sets in the west. I’m staring into the waves below, everything else sliding away from my thoughts. I hear a rustling, imagining it to be leaves from the trees on the street, and then realize that I’m wrong. It’s nothing but a white trash bag, floating on the surface of the current.

Forever

Often the worst news comes right when you’re least expecting it, like how great people always die right in the prime of their lives. Harry Houdini, the amazing magician, claimed he could take a hit to the stomach and survive. A man decided to prove it, and punched him in the stomach before Houdini had even prepared for the blow. He was suffering from appendicitis at the time, and was just about to go on one of his spectacular shows. After the man hit him many times in his already weakened stomach, Harry continued on with several of his shows even with a ruptured appendix and a high fever. He died soon afterward. It was unfair, but that’s how life works.

My bad news came like a blow to the stomach during my second year in middle school. I had been playing basketball in the dim, hot gym that reeked of sweat from games fought and won, when a sharp pain stabbed the side of my knee. My leg buckled from underneath me, but I caught myself and continued on, shooting basket after basket and dodging the opposing team. A few minutes later, the sharp pain started up again, but I ignored it and kept on playing, despite my slight limp. The soft whoosh of a basketball flying through the net calmed me down, and I soon forgot about the strange pain I had felt.

 

My mother called out to me from the living room, “How was your day, honey?” I slammed the door shut behind me.

“It was fine,” I shouted back.

“Are you sure? Is anyone hurting you? Are your teachers okay?”

I rolled my eyes at the usual string of concerned questions. “Yes, I’m sure.” I ran up the stairs and into my room before my mother could ask me anything else, and flopped down onto my bed. And all of a sudden, the odd discomfort came back to my knee, causing me to wince and curl up into a ball on my bedsheets. The pain faded away after about ten minutes, and I bent over to inspect the spot. It seemed a bit swollen, as if someone had punched it and  it was now bruised. I thought back to my day in school.

Maybe I had bumped into something, or maybe during gym I… my thoughts trailed off as I remembered gym class. There, the pain had happened to me too. I rolled over on my stomach and stared at the wall in front of me. The wallpaper was adorned with golden swirls, and matching white and gold furniture sat around me. I pushed myself off of the bed and walked over to my desk, where I sat down and pulled out my backpack to start homework. But even as I tried to calculate math problems and write essays, my mind kept wandering back to what ifs, and maybes. I couldn’t concentrate. Sighing, I put everything away.

“A break might help,” I muttered to myself. So saying, I promptly collapsed onto my bed once again. Soon enough, the wall became the ceiling and the ceiling became the sky and everything was nothing at all.

 

“Stephanie? Stephanie! Dinner’s ready!” My mother’s harsh voice interrupted my sleep, grating against my mind, and I jolted awake. Ever since I was little, she has always been there, watching my every move and aggravating me enough to almost always spark an argument.

“I-I’m coming!” I shouted back, blinking rapidly to clear my head. I rushed to the staircase and ran down, leaping down two steps at a time. I abruptly grasped the side handlebar to steady myself, as a wave of pain radiated out from my knee. I wrinkled my forehead in concern, but decided to ignore it, as the soreness had already partially dissipated. By the time I got downstairs, the round table in the center of the kitchen was already set and heaping with every food imaginable–typical of my mother. My father was sitting placidly, his short black hair sticking up in various directions.

“Come, sit,” he called to me. Seeing the grimace on my face, he asked, “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, everything’s okay,” I answered, trying to hide the look on my face. I didn’t want to worry my father, who was always so sympathetic and kind to me.

“Okay, just checking. Why don’t you come sit while we wait for your mother to join us?” he suggested. I nodded and began to sit down, when the ache in my knee started up yet again. I gasped and fell to the ground, hugging my knees to myself.

What is this? Why does it keep happening to me? I thought, frustrated. And why isn’t it going away? Before, the hurt had gone away quickly, and I had forgotten about it as soon as it went away. Now, the ache was staying for longer and longer, and it felt as if it was coming from my bone, pushing up towards the surface like a swimmer desperate for air. Except the swimmer was determined to hurt me, so it punched every inch of flesh it could reach along the way.

“Stephanie! Steph! Steph?” My dad clumsily pushed back his chair and hurried over to my vulnerable form, huddled on the kitchen floor. “What happened? Answer me!”

“I-I’m alright, Dad. I just-” My eyes squeezed shut again and I inhaled sharply as the tortuous agony began again.

“Sarah!” At the urgent tone of my father’s voice, my mother ran into the kitchen, her hazel eyes widening and her lipstick-ringed mouth puckered up in a small circle. Everyone was moving, but all I felt was fear. Fear of what was happening to me, fear that maybe I had done something wrong in my life and now I was going to die young. All at once, I felt my head spinning and before I knew it, I had passed out.

 

“What monkey put left?”

“For now, you should table her rest.”

“We diagnosed her, and…”

Gradually, my vision cleared and the gibberish I thought the doctors were saying turned into comprehensible sentences.

“She’s awake! Oh, Steph…” My mother’s face was a mess of tears and troubled creases. She burst into tears and ran out of the room. Just her dramatic exit made me want to roll my eyes and sigh impatiently at her, like I do almost every day. After another couple minutes with nurses nervously glancing around at the beeping machines and the sterile, blindingly white room, one of them stepped forward.

“Stephanie, I’m afraid to tell you that — I’m really sorry — you have osteosarcoma,” she said quietly.

I tilted my head and cleared my throat, already feeling sick with worry. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Bone cancer.”

I closed my eyes. This is what it is. This is what I came here for. This is what all the pain was for. I understood, and I started to cry. Silently, each of the nurses exited the room. I wanted to shout to them, to ask them not to leave me. But no sound came out of my mouth, and so I placed my head back on my tear-soaked pillow and closed my eyes again, one final tear leaking out and staining my cheek.

 

After that final teardrop, I didn’t cry again. I had shed all of my tears, and now I couldn’t cry anymore. I still couldn’t accept the fact that I had cancer, so I tried to block the thought out of my head. I lived without living, nodded when my doctor told me something, ate when they told me to eat, and slept when there was nothing else to do. And yet that stabbing pain was constantly there, haunting me and reminding me that I had a fatal disease and that I could never get away from it. I never played the sports I used to adore playing anymore, and never spoke to any of my friends anymore. Apart from the occasional get-well card, I was cut off from the world I used to live in. Now my friends were replaced with adults wearing masks and long coats, my usually busy life and many hobbies replaced with constantly sleeping on a narrow, firm cot. I didn’t pay attention to anything, and my normally vivid mind became dull and never interested.  My parents occasionally visited me, and whenever I saw them I would beg them to stay, never leave me again, and to stay with me because I was afraid. That was the only feeling I felt anymore. And every night, when I fell asleep, I slept longer and longer, yet my sleep became lighter and more restless. Slowly, I was slipping away from the world.

 

One of the only other vivid memories I had was here at the hospital, a couple weeks after I had first arrived. I had been staring aimlessly at the ceiling, when a nurse tapped on my door, cracked it open, and snuck into the room. Gently closing the door behind her, she approached my bed and peered at me over her rectangular glasses perched on the tip of her nose.

“Stephanie?”

“Hmm?”

“It appears that you are to receive chemotherapy?” The statement, worded like a question, took me by surprise. My overbearing mother must have requested the medication for me, and I shook my head angrily. Chemotherapy seemed like something only cancer patients had. Even though I knew I had cancer, it didn’t seem like it was real. It felt like I was living a dream, or someone else’s life, someone who just happened to have cancer.

“Your treatment is to start tomorrow morning, and…” the nurse mumbled something under her breath and shot me a look full of pity, then quickly left the room. Four hours afterward, the same word echoed through my head: chemotherapy, chemotherapy, Chemotherapy, CHemotherapy, CHEMotherapy, CHEMOTHErapy, CHEMOTHERAPY, CHEMOTHERAPY, until it enveloped my mind and was all that I could think about. Nothing made sense anymore.

 

The doctor who came to inject something into my veins was gentle and kind. This treatment made me lose my hair, lose my appetite, and lose my mind. It made my cancer feel better, but it made me feel worse.

I heard from whispered discussions nurses held outside my door that other cancer patients could go home between treatments, and that they had caught my cancer too late. I didn’t understand them. I didn’t understand anyone. I could hear what they were saying, but I didn’t comprehend it; I was too afraid, and tired, and just dead to the world.

 

I don’t want to live anymore. Life is too hard. Life is not worth living. This was what I repeated to myself, over and over until I was numb, every time the shock of what I was going through hit me again.

 

“Steph, how are you doing?” My mom entered the room, dark shadows circling her bloodshot eyes.

“Just go away.”

“Why are you always so angry at me? I try my best to be a good mother, and I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

“A good mother? A GOOD MOTHER? WHAT GOOD MOTHER DOESN’T LET HER OWN CHILD GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT GOING CRAZY AND INTERROGATING HER? AND BY THE WAY, THIS CANCER? IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.” In a fit of uncontrolled and unreasonable rage, I screamed at her and was startled to see tears slipping out of the corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, honey.” She turned and stepped out of my room, her head down and cheeks flushed.

“No, I’m sorry.” I whispered as I watched her back retreat from my view.

 

Later that night, I heard a nurse discussing my situation with my doctor.

“The light is gone from her eyes.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll make it through. Chemo makes some people like that.”

“Some people go through depression? Are you sure? I heard her talking in her sleep the other night, and it didn’t sound too good.”

“Patients always go through a period of time when they just feel down all the time, but she’ll get over it.”

“Whatever you say, Doctor…”

 

I feel dead.

 

“How’s the chemo going?”

“Great! She’s responding really well.”

“I can tell when you lie. You smile with all of your teeth, your eyes get bigger, your-”

“Alright, alright, I lied.”

“And?”

“The cancer is gone, but so is she.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s virtually dead. She doesn’t feel the need to live. When you don’t have the motivation, you don’t live. She doesn’t have the will to live.”

 

I want to die. What is the reason of living anymore?

 

A scene, a scene from long ago, from when I was still happy, developed in my mind.

 

“Now, for our MVP… Stephanie K!” Applause filled the hot gym as I, a girl with brown, curly hair and shining eyes, stepped forward to receive my award. “Steph has helped out our team so many times, and she is truly a player that we- and I’m speaking for the entire team- appreciate and value.” The coach smiled kindly at me. I grasped the trophy in my small hands and triumphantly held it over my head, beaming from ear to ear.

From that moment on, I knew what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be a pop singer, or a veterinarian, like other kids in my class. I wanted to be a basketball player.

My mother, a woman who was always anxiously hovering over her only child, saw that the award that now stood on our kitchen counter was a boost of confidence to me. The award helped me realize what I loved doing, and that I was good at it. It was part of what shaped me into the optimistic and athletic girl I became.

 

Footsteps.

 

But I still don’t want to live.

 

A gentle touch on my shoulder.

 

I can’t live.

 

A warm hand stroking my face.

 

I won’t live.

 

“I love you, Steph.

Do you love me too?”

My mother.

 

I love you too, Mom.

“I- I love you too, Mom.”

A gentle whisper, then a final sigh. The world became black.

Forever.

Simple

Warning: There are several moments of intense language in this narrative. If “potty-mouth” is an issue for you, simply exit the novel.

Ch 1.

Beginning of Seventh Grade

 

I glance at her. Then quickly swap my focus. For her to catch me staring at her is a risk I would not want to take. But god was she pretty. I can’t even match a word to her beauty, her personality, just…her.

She is gorgeous, obviously. Determined, powerful, deceiving. Anyone would love her positives or negatives. She’s smart, creative, funny, honest, sweet, compelling, dangerous, yes I said dangerous, tough, stubborn, independent, and a warrior. She literally was perfect, it’s like someone gave me the best Christmas present ever! But she is more than a gift. She’s a goddess. I honestly could describe her and talk about her all day.

Sure, you might say my affection for her is somewhat a cliché of normal everyday youth love, but to me, I feel like I know her more than anyone. That she is that meaningful to me. She is the most cherished book in my two-book library. That is to say she is the only book I really care for besides my own mother, which inhabits the life of the other book. But other books can be written. The library will never end. New books will come. But for now, the libraries bestseller is her.

But to add on to the youth-love cliché, she doesn’t seem the least bit attracted to me. Way to crush hope, right? So here I am, sprinting to a nonexistent finish line in a 26 mile marathon, hopelessly yearning for love and attention for a 14-year-old middleschool girl. What’s my chance in finishing the race? You’ll find out why it’s nearly impossible.

 

Ch. 2

Sixth Grade: November

 

Her name is Hailey. Like the comet. I remember clearly now when I first met her. It was in sixth grade and both of our schools were performing a play together. The play was going to be performed on the second floor in a middle auditorium. This middle school would be the school I would be going to in my future years.

The auditorium was big, yes, but the acoustics were terrible. Every sound you spoke or did created an echo. The auditorium was also quite dark and lacked color. I am sure a person like Halley would love to tear the place down and just spend hours redecorating.

During a small pre-rehearsal before we had to perform, which was held in the school gym, adjacent to the auditorium, two of our actors got into a fight.

One of my cl***mates smirked at the opposing one, “Hey, make sure to not *** up your lines like your pathetic school always does.”

“Hey, shut up man,” said the other boy, “you don’t have to downgrade us just because we’re better than you.”

He smiled. “Screw you.”

“Sorry, I don’t wanna.”

“Homo.”

“*** face!”

“Ugly fag!”

“Wow,” I thought, “quite a vocabulary for sixth graders.”

Five seconds later is when the kicking started.

“What are they doing?” I mutter.

Let me describe what happens out here in the safari. You can see the older male on top of the more infantile hyena. They constantly yap at each other, foul comments and disgusting insults. This is one strategy the modern hyena uses to infuriate its prey, causing it to waste more energy on trying to dominate the other male. Back to reality. Fists flying, spit, blood. Jesus, could they just stop fighting?! I yell in my head.

The boys were not stopping. This was so ridiculous! Over a little competition. More and more people tried to break it up, but the more they tried the worse it got. James was trying to be neutral, but he joined the fight once someone insulted his dead sister. Ouch. Elika got kicked by accident, which got her mad. I don’t wanna say what happened after that. Why aren’t there any chaperones around? I tried to ignore it and study my lines on last time.

Seven minutes. I glanced over at my “friends” who continued to clash. It was more verbal now. At least they stopped hitting each other. A lot of people were a part of it now. Guess I was the one who looked like the wimp trying to stay out of that mess.

“Well if you hadn’t said that you were better than I am, I wouldn’t have said anything to you!”

“So? You didn’t have to say those things about my mom and my school!”

“And you didn’t have to say that my sister deserved to be dead!”

“WELL DIDN’T SHE OVERDOSE ON THOSE DRUGS?!”

“SHUT UP!”

“YOU SHUT UP.”

Ugh, why do sixth graders have such an immature set of vocabulary? If they keep on yelling like that, my migraine will arrive sooner than later. Which reminds me, five minutes.

I plug my ears. I know it won’t help that much but– Hey, it was actually working! There wasn’t that much noise! Unless…

I lifted my head up from the sheets. There, like a guardian angel, Hailey was between the two quarrelling boys.

“Listen,” she said. “This is a spark for bad habits. You wanna get into being dumb***es who are always looking for fights, be my guest, but in five minutes we are about to go on stage and work together to perform a stupid play.” Four minutes. “Sure, it might not be meaningful to you, but it is to others. So stop being selfish dicks and stop fighting.”

I smiled. This girl was tough. I liked that.

Everyone sat down.

I looked at her. She seemed satisfied. One minute. I got up and began to walk over to her. 30 seconds. I got closer. 15 seconds.

“Hi, um, I just wanted to say–”

“Alright! Get ready to go on stage!” yelled our professor, appearing out of nowhere. Seriously? Out of all times, the teacher comes now?

She got up and left me standing there awkwardly. I straightened my costume and got in line with the rest of my peers.

After that, we didn’t see each other at all. I honestly forgot about her for some time. What she looked like. How she sounded. I’m guessing that we both grew. That was until I saw her during sixth grade. One second.

 

Ch 3.

Sixth Grade: January

 

Love. What an overly important word. I feel like love isn’t a good enough word for what it means.

“I’m in love,” says a person. Wow, great accomplishment. I totally understand your feelings. Why can’t the word ‘love’ be a different word? Why can’t the definition of love mean ignite? Like, “I ignite you.” No, that’s terrible. Maybe, “I am in destiny.” Yeah, see? Why can’t you switch destiny and love’s meanings? People do say that love is your destiny, so why can’t destiny be your love?

I am Hailey’s destiny. I don’t know. No, I am. Do I love her? Yes. No. Maybe. Yes. Totally. Ughhhh! Puberty is hard! Oh, uh, too much information… Sorry. Anyways. I like her, and I think that she likes me. I mean, that’s what happened in sixth grade. We were young, yes, but I think it actually meant something. I am positive it did.

 

“Hi! I’m Jake,” I said.

“Hey, I remember you!” she replies.

“Yeah! I um, really think that you are pretty!”

“Aw! That is so flattering! I think you are cute too!”

“Well do you want to go out?”

“Sure do!”

 

Flash forward 15 years. Wedding bells ring in the distance. Hah, if it were only that simple. It’s not simple. It’s hard. Deep breath. I walked over to her. She was sitting by herself with her pencil pouch by her side, a sheet of paper in her hand, filled with sketches of inanimate objects like vases.

“So, you like to draw, right?” I stare at her, she made the first move. ***, I wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah, I do,” I responded, “But, I don’t think I’m as good as you.”

Let me tell you. Hailey Spires can draw better than Claude Monet. If you don’t know him, look it up. Honestly he is amazing, but Hailey, that is someone worth noticing.

“Thanks,” she smiles.

“You like wolves, huh?” I ask her. Her binder and other papers inside her journal is filled with drawings of animals, specifically wolves.

“Yeah, I feel like they are powerful animals, you know? Always modest, intelligent. In charge.” She looks at me. I look at her.

“You know, one time, I was in my Uncle’s backyard and I saw three wolves. A mama and her two cubs. They were beautiful. A pearl gray color, you know?”

She smiles again, wider this time. “Wow,” she looks back down at her paper.

“You know what would be cool? If we could form our own pack, just like the wolves.”

“Yeah, that would be cool!”

“We could create our own characters!” she said, taking out clean, crisp sheets of paper to begin sketching. “What do you want your name to be?” she asked me.

“Umm.” I thought. What is a cool name that will woo her with my creativity?

“Riptide,” I answered. “In Greek it translates to Anaklusmos. You can call me either or.”

She laughed, “I think I’ll just call you Rip.”

“Fine by me!” I exclaim.

This was the beginning of our friendship. I felt like we were really connecting.

 

I had many cl***es with Hailey. Every cl*** we would sit next to each other, unless the cl*** had ***igned seats. We would always try to talk. We had fun, we did. Our “pack” grew. We actually did follow that idea. We drew characters of each of our friends who joined. We created cl***es, maps, we established bases and territories, so on and so on. It was fun, we liked each other the more we hung out. Our favorite cl*** was art. We got to talk with each other, one on one. We also got to draw and paint, which is what we loved to do. I liked Hailey. I’m sure you already knew that, but I did. I just hoped she did too.

 

Sixth and seventh grade flew by. Soon we would be in the eighth grade, and boy is that where it gets interesting.

 

Ch. 4

Eighth Grade: January/March

 

I don’t know…I guess he’s cute? I mean, the first time I saw him I thought he was an utter nerd! It was probably his dad’s doings. The first day of school his dad had him dressed in uniform. But it was hilarious! He had his shirt tucked in, poindexter gl***es, tight khaki shorts, gelled down hair, and a blue lunchbox. I don’t think anyone could help from laughing. We were kids. Weird, immature kids…But instantly, after walking in, he untucked his shirt, ruffled his hair, removed his gl***es and inserted contacts, and then… Sorry I’m traIling off too much.

Anyways, he was a new person. Different. He can change. You don’t know who he can be. Some days, he would be so poetic and dreamy, some days, kind and sweet, interesting and brave. Other days, an utter jerk. Who you wish would just buzz off. Is this a good thing? Yes and no. It’s sort of a rhetorical question for me at least.

Now, you may be asking, “Well, tell us if you like him! Because he has told us what he feels about you. Go on! Spill the beans!”

Ugh, I don’t want to. I mean, it is obvious. We are both friends. He was literally the first person I talked to when I came to this school, well, first person who I didn’t really actually know already.

He was a popular boy I think… Everyone talked about how silly, smart and cool he was. I just never noticed it for myself. I guess I was shy… *** it. There I go again, trailing off. I need to stop, seriously, it is not a good way to think. Alright, enough about me and my thoughts. Let’s talk about me and my feelings

 

“Hey Hailey. How was your weekend?” Third month of school, and he’s been acting weird. Not weird, just… Nasty. I look up at him. He stares at me with a dumb look on his face. “What?” he asks. I look back down at my paper. He needs to get out of my face before I begin to kick. “Hey, I have a funny joke, wanna hear it?” he says, nudging me. Oh god, if it is another one of those perverted jokes, I swear to god I–

“Why are men like spiders?”

I stare.

“Because whenever they are on the web their hands get sticky!” he laughs, snorting.

I get up and move, close to the teachers desk. He looks at me like I’m a different person. It’s because I am. “Hailey!” he yells.

“Quiet down, Duffles!” The teacher hisses.

He glares at me, then at her. He walks over to me. Stop. I’m about to blow up, please stop just don’t say anything, please– “What is up with you?! Aren’t we friends?” he examines me, bewildered.

I take a deep breath. “Jake Duffles, get the *** away from me.” I close my eyes. I can sense that he is still there. “GET THE *** AWAY FROM ME!” I scream. Bad idea. I bet you all the kids in the cl*** were staring at me.

“Wow, is she having a breakdown?”

“***, she needs to chill.”

“What is up with her?”

Great. I hate attention. I don’t like people. Leave me alone. I storm out of the cl***. I need to vent. Now.

The lock in the stall clicks.

I sob. I hate him! He is just a pervert! He no longer is that person who is kind and nice and smart! He is just one of those people who just needs to be ignored. I don’t know! He is a bad kind of different. He is so immature. He is not attractive anymore. I liked him when he cared more. Now he just hangs out with douchebags and talks about sex.

I feel like I’m dead.

I’ve been dealing with things.

He is one of them.

I don’t love him.

He doesn’t understand.

I don’t anymore.

But I still want to.

But I don’t think he knows.

I’m like another person.

Torn between the two.

My mother is dying.

I’m dying.

From the pressure.

I can’t take it.

Who am I?

I cry some more. My face feels puffy. I wipe the tears. My head tucks in between my upright legs, perfectly comforted between the two. I sigh. I lift my head and look up at the clock. I’ve been here for an hour. It feels like minutes. I flush the toilet. I don’t know why, I didn’t even go to the bathroom. I sob one last time, just to get the last remains out.

I can’t be with him anymore. He is a distraction. He will ruin me. I can’t like him. I don’t know why. I just can’t. I want to, but I can’t. Ugh! Why does life have to be so difficult? I flush the toilet again. I flushed it for a reason. I’m flushing away something. I’m flushing his memory away.

 

Ch. 5

Eighth Grade: March

 

What is up with her? I can’t believe she’s acting this way. WHAT DID I DO TO UPSET HER?

 

Ch. 6

Eighth Grade: March

 

She didn’t talk to me for most of eighth grade. We never talked. I tried to. It didn’t work. She would always flip me off when I tried to approach her, she would never answer me, she wouldn’t look at me.

I think she hates me even more just because I’m so persistent in figuring out why she hates me. Here is a list of ideas on why I think she is upset with me:

  • I am immature, but I don’t change or realize it.
  • I am annoying, because I constantly ask why she hates me.
  • She knows I like her.
  • I have very few ideas of what the problem actually is.

One day, we are required to reenact a segment of the text we are reading. The teacher partners me up with Hailey. I grin. She shows no emotion.

“So,” I begin.

“No.” She ends the conversation.

“Okay, so you are going to act like a bitch. Oh wait, you have been this whole year,” I say.

She doesn’t raise her voice. “This is exactly the reason.” She studies her script.

“Exactly what? I didn’t do anything,” I retort.

She sighs and looks at me. “I don’t like you right now, Jacob.” Wow. She has never called me Jacob before. “So why don’t we just do the work, and leave me the *** alone.”

I look at her like she is a piece of ***. “Well, I’m feeling ***ty too.” I lean back. No response.

“My mom is in the hospital. She has appendicitis, and, she could die,” I finished. This was true. She was in the hospital except she wasn’t going to die. Hailey set her paper down. She turned her head towards me. I look at her beautiful lips, her perfect eyes, sharply figured so that you would just get lost in them…

“Listen, there are kids out there whose mothers are actually dying in a hospital. So stop being that guy, and leave me alone.” She turned her head, and stared with her perfect eyes down at her paper, lips pursed. Anger welled up inside of me. My heart raced. Why was this situation so unexplainably hard? It made no sense! It was like trying to prove the theory of evolution. I want to fix this! I want us to be normal again!

I got up. Left her alone. I approached the teacher’s desk. “Hi Ms. Henry, can I request another partner? It’s not working out so well over here.” I glance at Hailey. She pays no attention, but I know she can hear.

“Aw, what’s wrong Duffles? The love of your life ain’t doin’ so well?” she tilted her head. I swear this bitch is about to get a dent in her face.

“Just, can you give me a new partner?” I plead.

“Sure! Switch with Bless and Carlos.” She points to the two boys. Thankfully, Bless was my friend. I needed to get distracted from the train wreck I probably created. I have so many bricks on my back right now, and I can’t unload them.

 

I get home that day and I just drop my stuff and head to my room. I trudged up the stairs, my footsteps echoing up each flight. I began to think, and soon those thoughts formed into words. Those words became reality.

“Why is she doing this? She is so immature. You know, why do I even care? This is middle school. But she’s everything to me. She is my true inspiration for life. I just don’t know how to fix any of this. I don’t love anyone else like that. She is so stubborn. If she could just tell me. Please just tell me.” Those words soon became tears. Those tears became memories. Those tears became reality.

 

“Ms. Diakite?” I knock.

“Come in, honey,” she responds. I open the door and drop my books on the floor. “What seems to be the issue, Duffles?” She crosses her arms and leans back in her chair. “Well, lay it on me.”

“I like a girl,” I say

She laughs, “Can you be more specific?”

“Someone in the eighth grade?” I reply.

“Which girl, boo?”

I mutter, “Hailey Spires.”

“Aww! That’s cute! She like you back?”

“That’s why I’m here.”

 

Intercom: Hailey Spires, please report to Ms. Diakite’s office. Hailey Spires report to Ms. Diakite’s office.

 

It’s only minutes until she arrives. Our eyes met, and she gave me a quick, “What the hell am I doing here?” look. She sat down. Next to me.

Ms. Diakite begins, “Hailey, the reason I called you into this office was because Mr. Duffles here, feels like there is a disruption in your relationship. Is that correct?”

Hailey looks at me. “Yes,” she says.

Wow. She answered truthfully. At least I think that answer is the truth.

“Did you know that Mr. Duffles here, likes you?” Ms. Diakite asks.

Hailey blushes. Jake: 1, Hailey: 0

“No,” she answers. I look at her, she looks at me.

“Well he is telling me that y’all two haven’t been very friendly with each other lately, now have y’all?” Ms. Diakite continues.

“No.”

“Would you care to tell me why?” questions Ms. Diakite.

I look at her. She looks at me, staring me directly in the eye and says, “It’s a long story.”

“Okay,” Ms. Diakite waves her hand in the air, hoping Hailey would’ve told her more, “Well, I know middle school is a hard time and everything, but, you gotta learn to make peace with one another, instead of…letting the war go on.”

That was a weird analogy, but also very correct.

Hailey nods. I do too.

“Alright,” Ms. Diakite concludes, “if you two promise me that you will make amends with each other, I’ll let y’all two go. Okay?”

I turn towards Hailey, “Sorry for whatever I did.”

She looks at me with pure disgust. “We’ll talk later,” she mouths.

“I’m sorry too,” she adds.

“Alrighty then!” Ms. Diakite says. “Just keep on being friendly with each other, and the problem will be solved! You are dismissed.”

Hailey is the first to leave.

I soon follow.

 

Ch. 7

Eighth Grade: April

 

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even realize what he has done. I cannot believe him. I need to talk to him. He’s just a butthurt brat. I have no more feelings. This is the last time.

I see him in the hallway. I approach him. He doesn’t notice me. “Hey,” I say sternly.

“Oh! Hey Hailey! You scared me!” He lets out a little laugh.

“Enough ***,” I slice him down. All of a sudden, it seems like he is broken. He realizes nothing is fixed. He realizes that we are still in the same situation.

“Look, I cannot believe that you called me in there. You don’t even know the reason why we are like this!” I roll my eyes.

“Y-yeah I do,” he stutters.

“What is it then?” I press forward.

“I have been acting like a pervert?” he answers, unsure.

“See? You don’t even really know the true reason.” I fold my arms. Does he have amnesia? Did he get hit in the head? Why doesn’t he remember?

“Hailey, I don’t understand…” He trails off.

“That’s right,” I retort, “you don’t understand.”

He looks down at the ground. Are those…tears?

I still have no sympathy.

“Do you want to know why I’m upset with you?” I raise my tone.

“Yes,” he says quietly.

“The video.”

 

Ch. 8

Eighth Grade: May

 

***. I completely forgot about the video. Ohmygosh I am so stupid.

 

Ch. 9

Eighth Grade: Memories

Sometime in February, Hailey was hosting a sleepover/party for her belated birthday. This was when Hailey and I were still really good friends. Me among many of my friends were invited. Us being boys were only allowed to stay at her house until dinnertime. There were about seven people there. Hailey, Xian, Jaelen, Sifan, Maina, Nimai and me. We arrived at Hailey’s house around 4:30 and knocked on the door. Barks and shuffles came from within the small cosy cottage, and we were soon greeted by a very cheerful dog, and a very annoyed brother. “Oh, hey Hailey,” said Damian, her brother. He stepped aside, unlocked the door and let us in. Immediately, I felt sharp claws and a wet tongue drag across my face. I screamed. Everyone laughed. “Reesy!” Hailey purred. The peanut butter and chocolate colored dog came bounding towards her with full determination to give her a big wet kiss. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” Hailey coaxed, patting the dog and squeezing it which great intensity. I smiled. I love it when owners and dogs bond together. It’s just a feeling of joy, you know? We sat down and instantly turned on the T.V. and started to chat. It’s something kids do nowadays. They multitask, whether it is watching television and having a conversation at the same time, or listening to music while studying. So, yeah. Anyways, we were just talking and…”I’m going to go upstairs and change into my jammies. Anyone care to join me? Sorry let me rephrase that, any girls want to join me?” Hailey proposed. “Sure!” Sifan bounced up and grabbed her change of clothes. Xian, Mina and Jalen followed Hailey and Sifan upstairs. I was left with Nimay, sitting awkwardly with each other. “Hey Duffles, I have an idea!” Nimay leaned forward. “Yeah what is it?” I said while playing with my phone. “Well, it’s more of a dare.”

I creep up the stairs, with Mina’s phone in my right hand. I can’t help from laughing. This will be a hilarious prank! Fifth step, sixth step, seventh step, eighth step.

I walk slowly up to their door, hearing their laughter on the other side. I begin to record. The only footage it was picking up was the door and the muffled sound of their conversation. I step close. *CREAK*! “Crap!” I saw as the floorboard releases its moan. That was close. I step closer to the door. I slip the phone underneath the door crack. I look at the screen and all I see is the ceiling. All of a sudden I hear footsteps. Coming towards the door. I panic. I run. All I hear behind me are the girls voices.

“Oh my god! Don’t say that!”

“I am so excited for tonight!”

“Do you like my pjs?”

Good. They didn’t catch me. But then the thought raced through my head. What the hell did I just do? Did I just eavesdrop and try to film my friends… While they were changing?! What was I thinking? What if they find out! They will totally get the wrong idea. I wasn’t thinking at all. No thoughts were going through my head at the time. And I had no idea what the consequences would be.

I left early that day, for two reasons. One it was my brother’s birthday party and I had to get home and change to go out to dinner. Second was guilt, but it really wasn’t.

 

Ch. 10

Eighth Grade: May

 

He’s online trying to text me. I don’t want to text him. What he did was gross. I can’t believe he never thought that we would be offended by it. He keeps on texting. I’m so irritated I just decide to reply.

Me: What.

Him: Hi, look I’m sorry about that video. I was stupid and I wasn’t thinking. It was stupid and I’m here to apologize. But you need to learn to get over this. You have to forgive.

Me: (pause five seconds) How dare you.

Him: What?

Me: Do you realize what you have done? You invaded our privacy. There was a risk of taping us naked. And now you apologize, only four months after the incident, and then you bring it back to yourself by saying that I should forgive you and that I need to get over this. Well guess what Jacob Duffles. *** YOU. *** you because you have no right to be forgiven and no right to have done what you did. We wouldn’t be in this situation if you hadn’t have pulled that maneuver.

Him: No, you are causing this because you won’t learn to move one and forget stupid crap like this. Guys do this all the time. I’m growing up and you will too if you learn to accept people’s apologies. No one will like you if you don’t learn to do this.

Me: Just look over what you just texted me and think of the bull*** you just wrote to me.

Him: I didn’t do anything! You are so selfish! You just need to understand how to move on with life! I can’t believe you are doing this. I said I am sorry so you need to forgive me.

HAILEY SPIRES HAS LOGGED OFF.

 

Ch. 11

Eighth Grade: May

I see her outside of school. “Hailey!” I yell. She turns around and walks in the opposite direction.

“Look, I’m sorry for saying that stupid stuff–” I begin.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it,” she says her back facing me.

“I like you Hailey, I don’t want to end it this way.” I solemnly reach out for her shoulder to turn her around.

“Don’t touch me! I can’t like someone who lies! Who forgets! I can’t trust you!” she yells. I meet her eyes. I hope she sees how sorry I am.

“Hailey–”

“Leave me alone.”

She runs away from me. I can’t reach her.

 

Ch. 12

Eighth Grade: June

 

I glance at the casket. I wish she would have just never forgiven me. I wish I never talked to her. I wish I never met her. Then she would have crossed the street. She would have not been caught up in another reality. She would have focused on something else! She shouldn’t care about me that much! She cares about me too much! She should have looked both ways. She should have looked one way. Not at me but at the road. But she was looking the wrong way. She was looking at me.

 

The Written Sea

He walked with a heavy step through the grove of trees. Tall and stately, Alistair felt small beneath their looming branches. It was 9:57 and a Saturday, which meant the rain was due any second. Alistair looked up and his eyes were met with an ominous sky. He reached into his bag and pulled out a black umbrella, which he unfurled only a second before the ghostlike clouds let loose a torrent storm.

By ten o’ clock, Alistair had quickly woven his way through the small town and arrived at the post office. He stood underneath the red awning, his suit soaked through with the rain, and shook his head like a dog, attempting to rid himself of the water. He gazed out upon the abandoned street, pausing to look at the dark storefronts and the empty tables of the cafe. It was too early for most to be out and the rain had scared away the rest. As Alistair turned back towards the door, he saw the figure of a young woman darting behind a car, her turquoise dress flashing like scales. The rain has tricked you once again, he thought, and slicked back his dark brown hair. He swung open the door of the post office, the bells singing his arrival.

Alistair strode in and watched Bertha’s head snap up, like a dog who smelled fresh meat. She gave him a huge smile and laid her long red nails on her desk.

“Hello, Alistair.” She twirled a large, orange ringlet around one of her fingers and her smile somehow grew.

Alistair approached the desk nervously and gave Bertha a weak smile in return. “Good morning, Bertha.”

The post office was small and brightly lit, a pleasant little place, but Alistair couldn’t help but detest this Saturday morning routine. This was mostly due to Bertha and her intrusive nature.

“Now, what can I do for you today?” she said, batting her huge, green eyes, and leaning towards him. She looked as if she was about to devour him, a feat Alistair wouldn’t put past her.

“Just wondering if you’ve received my letter yet,” Alistair said shyly.

Bertha’s smile dissolved, a rather ugly expression left in its place. She stood up, curling her lip, and turned away from Alistair to examine the many tiny boxes that lined the back wall of the post office.

She turned around again and plopped back into her desk chair. “Nope, nothing. Again.”

Alistair peered behind her. “Doesn’t look like you checked too carefully, though. Perhaps another try?” he said hopefully.

Bertha gave him a murderous expression. She stood up, her long skirt unfurling like the wings of a fury. “Alistair. You have come in here every Saturday and every Saturday, I hope you have come to finally ask me out.”

Alistair weakly pointed behind Bertha. “My- my letter,” he stuttered, but Bertha ignored him.

“But no. You come every Saturday just to see if your letter has finally come from France, and every Saturday, I tell you, no!”

Alistair sighed and looked down at his palms.

“She hasn’t written to you, Alistair! She was lost at sea, remember? There is no letter coming!” Bertha started to pace back and forth behind the mail counter, papers fluttering wherever she stepped. “You are twenty five and you can’t wait for her forever!” She turned back to face him, her eyes flashing. “You must let her go, Alistair!”

Bertha sat down again, let out a long sigh, and began sorting through a box of letters. The door swung open, and in hobbled a rain-soaked Mr. Peterson.

“What’s all this racket I’m hearing?” he said, furrowing his brow and combing his fingers through his large mustache. He walked past Alistair and joined Bertha behind the desk. She stood, flustered, and Alistair was struck with amusement at the sight of a short and stout Mr. Peterson staring up at Bertha with a vexed expression. “Why are you yelling at a customer, Bertha?”

Bertha looked down at the floor with an insolent countenance. “Sorry, father,” she muttered.

Mr. Peterson shook his head. “Alistair, we are so sorry for this little inconvenience.”

Alistair smiled and shook his head. “No trouble at all. I suppose she’s right.”

Bertha turned to her father with a victorious smile. “See?” she shrieked. “I was just trying to help!”

Alistair noticed he had been standing awkwardly in the same spot for almost ten minutes and quietly began to exit.

“Bertha!” yelled Mr. Peterson. “You try to help everyone that comes in here! And most don’t find it quite as helpful!”

Alistair swung the door closed behind him, muffling Bertha’s cries of protest. The rain had stopped and the sky had morphed into a light gray. As Alistair walked down the street, he saw shopkeepers beginning to open up, and mothers pushing babies in strollers. Children chased each other around on the sidewalk and men sat at cafe tables, opening the front pages of their newspapers leisurely. Their days have just began, Alistair thought to himself, and mine have already ended.

Alistair strolled around aimlessly, before realising he had gone in a complete circle. The town of Whittlesbury was a small one, impossible to get lost in. But that meant it was also impossible to find anything new, and Alistair found that he was bored and without a destination.

“Alistair!” Alistair whirled around to see Timothy running at him. “Long time, no see,” he said with a grin, and engulfed Alistair in a hug.

“Hello, Timothy,” said Alistair, extracting himself from the embrace carefully, then smiling back at Timothy. “I wonder, do you have any room for a man in search of some breakfast?”

“Do I?” said Timothy, gesturing at his empty restaurant. “Hope you’re in the mood for pizza!” he called over his shoulder, as he ran back into the small restaurant.

Alistair grimaced and sat down at one of the red outdoor tables. Tim’s Pizza was usually deserted, as no one in town seemed to like Italian food. However, this had never discouraged Timothy, who was always dreaming up new kinds of pizza.

Alistair watched Timothy prepare his meal, using his mermaid shaped tap to fill a glass of beer. Fifteen minutes later, he ran out with a huge tray. “I hope you’ll enjoy my new delicacy, chicken barbecue pizza!” Alistair looked at the giant pizza, and highly doubted he would. Timothy pulled out the chair across from Alistair and sat down. “So, how’s Mr. Alistair?”

“Fine, thank you very much.” Alistair took a small slice of chicken barbecue pizza and cautiously took a bite. It was extremely spicy, and Alistair quickly took a gulp of his water, hoping he didn’t seem rude.

But Timothy appeared not to have noticed. “Well, I found a rather nice girl,” said Timothy looking at Alistair cautiously.

“I’m very happy for you,” said Alistair distractedly, attempting, in vain, to cut his slice with his dull butter knife.

“Well, she’s not for me,” said Timothy carefully. “She’s for you, old buddy.”

Alistair looked up at Timothy, his silverware clattering onto his plate. “Timothy.”

Timothy ran his hands through his black hair warily. “I thought it was a nice idea, Alistair. You haven’t been the same since the boat crash, and I just thought it might be a nice idea-”

“Please leave me alone,” said Alistair, looking morosely down at his breakfast.

“I’m sorry, Alistair, I just thought-”

“Please go.” Timothy got up quietly and walked back into Tim’s Pizza. Alistair got up, left some money on the small table, and walked away. As he crossed the street, he couldn’t help but regret the entire encounter.

Alistair shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers, his head bent over in thought as he made his back to his home. As he walked through the grove for the second time that day, he felt truly lost. The trees seemed to reach for him and he walked cautiously, carefully avoiding the skeletal branches.

Alistair’s house was located in a secluded clearing only minutes from the center of Whittlesbury. It was small and white, and constantly being pounded by the rain. As he climbed up the rickety steps that led to his chipped, red front door, he considered the thought that his little cottage may have become a little worse for wear. He turned the key in the rusty lock, and threw open the door.

The inside of the cottage was no better than the outside. As he walked to the kitchen, Alistair remembered the days when his house had to be spotless. But as he studied his empty refrigerator and his kitchen table, which was covered in newspaper clippings, he realized this was an idea of the old Alistair. He grabbed a box of cereal from the shelf and made his way to his study.

“Never, ever comin’ home again,” crooned a woman’s voice from the living room. “Because it’s filled with you.”

Alistair always left the radio on, but he didn’t ever listen to the songs. As he sat down in his large, leather chair, he remembered the days when every song that played the radio was happy. These days, they all seemed so sad.

“Okay, Alistair,” he said, as a ways of encouragement. “Let’s get this done.” He sifted through a large pile of papers that sat haphazardly on his cluttered desk. He was co-editor of the Whittlesbury Times, but he found no joy in the articles sent to his house. For the third time that month, Alistair quickly picked a few articles to be published, solely based on their titles. He slid them into an envelope and leaned back in his chair.

“Someone used to care,” sang a man soulfully. “Nobody cares anymore.”

His office was covered in photographs, some in frames, others in stacks on his bookcase, on his desk, and all over his tapestry-like rug. Alistair loved to take photographs, until about a year ago, when he smashed  his camera to bits on his asphalt driveway. But he couldn’t bear to get rid of all of his pictures.

His older photographs were of the ocean, mostly. When he had first moved to Whittlesbury, Alistair would go out sailing everyday, taking pictures of the sea, but he quickly found out that this couldn’t make you any money. He had been forced to also take pictures of families around town to retain a steady income.

About a year after this, the pictures began to change. No longer did they depict the ocean from Alistair’s boat. Instead, they portrayed a woman. With short auburn hair and turquoise eyes, she seemed to glow, even while being photographed in the pouring rain. Most of the pictures were of her, picnicking in a long yellow dress, or covered in paint, focused on a colorful canvas. Alistair still had some of her paintings, collecting dust in his attic. Alistair loved all of his pictures, especially the one in which she stuck her head in a large cutout of a mermaid at the town fair.

Alistair was only in one photograph. It was framed on his desk, portraying both of them. She wore a long white gown, with her hair in loose curls. Alistair wore a white suit.

The sky had turned to a calm gray by the time Alistair threw open the heavy curtains. It was about three in the afternoon and the sun peeked out warily behind wispy clouds. Alistair couldn’t hear the melodies wafting from the radio anymore, the sweet songs morphing into a dull roar. As he sorted through the piles of photographs, sitting on the hardwood floor, he had the distinct feeling that one picture was missing. The sky began to darken as Alistair looked for the missing photograph among the thousands spread across his study. Finding a large, sealed cardboard box, he reached into his pocket to retrieve his swiss army knife, hoping that maybe he had found the location of the photograph. He pulled out his wallet hurriedly, taking out his money and various papers in his haste. But while searching for the blade, he found his photograph.

Stuffed in the back pocket of his wallet, beginning to fade with time, it was Alistair’s last photograph. A girl stood in a green, spotted bathing suit, watching the sea from the deck of Alistair’s boat. On the back was written “Honeymoon to France, 1958.” It had been a sunny day in the middle of June, about a year ago. Alistair could hear crashing of waves and laughter, smell the sea salt and the suntan lotion. He watched as the boat collided with a group of large, craggy rocks. He flailed helplessly in the water, holding his photograph above the frenzied waters. As he searched for a woman, all he could see was the white foam collecting above the water and the flash of a turquoise tail.

When the rescue boat pulled him out of the freezing waves, Alistair stood shivering on the deck, his photograph clutched in his left hand.

“I’m sorry, sir,” said a man in a red jacket. “We were unable to find your wife.”

 

Later, Alistair walked alone at the docks. He waded through the waves, his loafers in one hand. The smell of sea salt surrounded him, as did the immenseness of the great ocean. He closed his eyes, envisioning the small steamer making its way through the vast waters. In his mind’s eye, he saw the boat sink into the green-blue. He remembered an old story about mermaids who made their homes in sunken ships on the ocean floor. Alistair watched the sunset turn the ripples to golden rings, and hoped that some lost things could be found again.

The Hospital

There are Always two Sides to a Story

 

The hospital rooms had a strong scent of something similar to rotten eggs and the white beds were now stained red. Instead of separate rooms, blue-white curtains hung in an attempt for people not to see or hear each other, however everything could be heard. The tiled floor, not cleaned in around months, now had moss growing in the cracks. The hospital was some sort of a hell hole.

On the last floor of the hospital, floor six, all the yellow light bulbs had burned out years ago. The darkness made it an ideal living space for many bats. When it was late at night you could hear bats flying and making noises. In the hospital warehouse rats lay dead after eating different medicine not made for them. If the hospital weren’t a hospital, it could have been a zoo instead.

***

It all began 20 years ago, when an outbreak began. The sickness Julgaray 323, otherwise known as Jul, had spread over the entire city of  Lodsonville  and had affected almost every citizen imaginable. The small hospital just wasn’t enough to take care of the more than a thousand patients. In a matter of days everyone began opening houses and schools for aid, until the present day the school remained a hospital, the only one left.

After the year which killed hundreds, survivors left the hospital and moved as far as possible from the city with fear that the disease would come back for revenge. From old Mrs. Mcclusky to young John, everyone fled to different cities around the world looking for peace, except for one special woman. Her name? Josephine. Josephine Moriarty. Age 75.

As new people started coming into the town, Christmas changed, sports tournaments changed, everything changed except for Mrs. Moriarty. Since the day she got ill she stopped talking or moving, she seemed like some sort of creepy old statue. Sitting by the hospital window all day was her hobby, and it creeped most nurses out, therefore no one ever entered her room. She was the only reason the hospital hadn’t closed years ago like it was meant to. The rules stated: As long as there is a patient in the hospital, it may not be shut down.

If you looked at the hospital from the outside, it seemed abandoned, a big piece of concrete, just there, for no use whatsoever. It might have sounded rude, but the citizens of the town could not wait for Mrs. Moriarty’s death so that the building could be demolished and remain as part of the city’s past. Everyone was too scared to enter or even touch her; no one knew anything about her or about her past. There was something so mysterious about her, but no one was ever able to discover it.

All that the citizens wanted was to know what had kept a woman locked up for so many years how could she be living a life that was so empty? How did she spend night and day sitting by the window? No love, no laughs, no nothing, but she was still there every single day. It was like some  mystery no detective could ever solve, or a disease no doctor could ever cure.

 

The cabinet that once held all the patients’ documents now was rusty and falling apart, barely holding itself together. As it was being opened you could hear loud creaks and cracks, as if it were haunted or something. There were no papers in the drawers except one, Mrs. Moriarty’s,  but her folder was basically empty, unusual for hospital files. As if she never even got sick. It was as if she had bribed her way into the hospital with no actual reason to be there. Everything about her was so strange. What could have kept her here after all these years?

***

When your dad was the mayor of Lodsonville it was predictable that your house was more like a mansion. 12 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, 3 kitchens, 4 living areas, 2 pools, 3 jacuzzis, that sort of thing. Anyone that rich was obviously living a fantastic life that everyone envied.

As Karlie made her way up the Starbucks line she kept thinking of what drink to get: Cool Lime Starbucks Refresher, Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino, Cinnamon Dolce Latte, Iced Caffè Mocha. The pick of the drink seemed like the hardest decision that no servant or butler took for her. It was the only time she really got to think for herself.

“I want a Golden Ginger Ale Fizzio,” said Karlie.

“A Fizzio?” replied the barista.

“Yes, a Fizzio.”

There were so many options in Starbucks, so many different types that would look so good in her Instagram feed, however Karlie chose otherwise.

“Why a different pick today?” asked Julia, her main maid.

At first, Karlie wanted to answer honestly. I hate that everything I do has to build a better image of myself. Yes, I may have long golden curls and my eyes may be water blue; yes, I may be tall and my body may be slim; yet I am just another girl in this world who likes guys and wants a normal life. I picked a different drink because maybe that will tell you that I don’t want to be the same as always, I want to be different!

“I just wanted to change it up,” she said instead.

***

Every night it was the same routine, she took off her Dior mascara, her Coco Chanel lipstick, and her Naked palette eyeshadow. Behind the flawless smile, eyes, and skin, lay a sad and lonely face. Karlie represented the quote: “Stressed, depressed, but well dressed.” She was able to hide herself in her Barbie-like figure, making everyone dream of having her life, while the truth was, that she was one of those that most suffered. Her life was hardly close to perfect. Her dad basically didn’t even know her name, and her mom was young and didn’t care about raising a child. The closest thing Karlie had to family was Julia, her maid.

***

Captain of the football team, 34 girlfriends, and an apartment of his own, what else could a teen boy ask for? Inside all the great things there was a feeling of emptiness as if there were a hole through his heart. It was the feeling of having so much that now it just felt like so little. Having your own chant might have been great, but when you knew that you didn’t have any real friends what you least wanted was cheerleaders screaming your name. The only thing that gave meaning to his life was to continue football, to continue kicking the ball, to continue running. Maybe later on his life would get better. Sports was the reason to continue trying.

***

“Party at my place tonight, bruh. You up for it?” Brad asked.

“Yeh, dude, I’d love that!” Derek responded. You could tell by his tone that the last thing he wanted was another party. He was tired, all he wanted was to be a nobody. He wanted to be the last person that people would ask advice from. He wanted to be the last person to be invited to a party. He wanted people to understand that he needed privacy. Maybe if he were a loser he would not have the stalkers or the lovers. He would have himself, and that was the best anyone could get.

 

***

The first thing you think about when you hear the name Hunter is a kid who loves riding ATVs and is some kind of a wild child. Hunter Rodgers was exactly that type of kid, coming back at 11 at night after riding around in the mud and basically risking his life everyday. Everytime he arrived he was happier than ever, as if rolling around in the mud and driving full speed was the only thing that actually made him happy.

***

“Well, you’re home late,” Mr. Rodgers remarked.

“I was out with Jerry. You know, that kid from school.” Hunter tried to hide the truth. He had been out the entire day alone. The company of others did not make him feel warm on the inside instead it made him feel pressured. Riding at night by the light of the moon and the company of the stars was the best he could get. The #1 best would have been to move to Mars, but that wasn’t a possibility, at least not for now. People were not his type; friends were what he less wished for; sometimes he didn’t even want to have a mom and dad who talked to him. Hunter knew that some things he could not get rid of and they would stand by him for most of his life. For that reason he accepted his dad’s love for him and tried to please him as much as possible.

He appreciated the hours that he was out alone because when he got home the last thing he expected to do was to be alone. Dad would always ask about the day and Mom would go to Hunter’s room to cover him up and give him a goodnight kiss, as if he were still a baby. All Hunter thought about was the next day, when he would go back out to the woods and ride, ride with no directions, freely.  “Vroom” the ATV would go, showing that it was a new day and a new adventure for Hunter.

***

Simon’s room was full of all sorts of things. On the right side there were two desks. On it there was a laptop and by its side an HP desktop. If you were to log into the computers, a lot of video games would be open and, of course, a lot of hacking. On the other side of his room there were stacks of board games. On his bedside table lay his glasses.

Simon had always loved staying on the computer all day, however sometimes he needed friends. It was great, his geeky friends loved playing board games and hanging out with Simon. Yes, Simon loved who he was, but sometimes he wanted other people to like him. Why would girls not be his friend? He didn’t want to be a loser. He wanted people in his grade to at least know his name. He didn’t want to be a nobody.

***

The group was very exclusive and secretive. Their location changed every week. No one could know that four teens with totally different backgrounds and lifestyles were meeting up to discuss their “terrible” lives.

It had all began with Karlie. She noticed that she could not face her life alone and that maybe she needed others’ help if she wanted to beat her feelings. One by one they began “joining,” without even knowing what this group was going to do or even if it was going to help them personally, yet it was worth a try.

The first meetings began as a way to “meet” each other, since after all they had no clue who each person was. As the group continued there was this sort of connection, like an out of this world connection, that just brought them all together and actually allowed them to have fun. Since everyone was so unique in their own way, they never got tired of each other. As the meeting progressed their bond got stronger they knew when one person was feeling down or when the other was very excited. It was as if God had put them in this world so that one day they could meet.

Now, the meetings were more for having fun and playing around, but the day Karlie brought out the newspaper that she had found in her dad’s office, everything changed. How was it possible that the town was planning on closing down the hospital? The hospital that held the town’s past. Obviously, the kids did not know what hid in the hospital walls. For the group, the closing of the hospital meant more than just the destruction of an old building, it meant that their squad’s past would be disappearing, since their first and most important meeting was held in the hospital’s garden/jungle.
Their first thought was that they would all help stop the demolishment of the building, but quickly they noticed that four kids would get nothing out of it. The only thing left to do was to enjoy the days that were still left with the building. The plan was simple, each kid would pretend they were staying for a weekend at a school friend’s home, because their parents couldn’t know about the secret friends, and they would all together spend a weekend sleeping inside hospital grounds.

***

The four of them had their backpacks ready, they knew it was not going to be the normal sleepover. There would be no food, no beds, no showers–the kids would not have their basic needs fulfilled if they did not take action. Each individual took their own sleeping bag and a few snacks that could keep their stomachs somewhat full.

That night they all met up, Karlie, Derek, Hunter, and Simon ran toward the town dumpster where they would then all head to the hospital together.

 

The fence that surrounded the hospital garden was old and had various holes throughout it. The rust had made the chain link fence weak and easy to move and shape, therefore the kids went ahead and sneaked in through it. Hunter got stuck and ripped a hole in his shirt, but the kids were so happy to be all together that they just laughed. It had only been two months since the last time that they had been there, yet everything seemed so much older. It made sense why the town wanted to throw it down.

The glass doors were open, so they ran through the entrance and made their way up the stairs. They knew that the elevator was not safe to use. Past the first floor, boring, second floor, dirty, third floor, useless, fourth floor, jackpot. Unlike the other floors, the fourth floor was different, it looked like someone had actually taken the time to clean or try to keep it “alive.” The kids knew that no one had been there for years. No one came to do the cleaning. It was empty wasn’t it?

Simon proposed the idea of checking all the rooms to make sure that there was nothing spooky or scary that they did not know about. Room 401, first room on the right, nothing, just a sort of bed and a pillow, no stains. The room across from it was almost a replica except that on the table there was a knife–maybe for surgeries, maybe for cooking. The kids got it and decided that it would be a good idea to have some sort of protection; any wild animal could just walk through the door and attack them.

After a long school day they were all too tired to investigate and play around the halls. They decided it would be better to have a good night’s sleep and begin the adventures the following morning.

***

As the sun began to shine, around 7 a.m., the kids changed into their clothes for the day and put their sneakers on. They were ready for whatever was to come. One behind the other, they went down the stairs, as if they were spies, until they arrived to the boring floor: floor one. The first thing they saw was that all the curtains were open except one; it had been closed. They walked through the east corridor until they arrived to the closed curtain.

They stood there, around 30 minutes, just staring in awe. The fact that something could be hiding behind the curtains scared them. Not even one of them was able to build the courage to open up the cloth. The four of them agreed that if they all held the dirty blue hanging piece they could push it open. 1, 2, 3, it was open.

 

The first thing they saw was that it was the only area that had a private window. The view might not have been the best in the city, however there was some sort of beauty outside the window, some plants and a few buildings, nothing too much. On the far left of the room there was a vase with some flowers. They were new, watered. Someone had been taking care of them. Next to it was a small 4-by-4 picture frame holding an image of a woman with a small girl. The woman must have been around 34 and the daughter 13. They were dressed in old-fashioned clothing. This was a picture from the past, obviously not Instagram worthy. The room was small. In the middle lay a hospital bed with sheets, covers, and a pillow. Near the window was a rocking chair and on top of the chair cushion there was a pair of red reading glasses. Everything in the room was pretty basic. They stepped in to take a better look. The walls had been recently painted white, and the tiled floor sparkled. Hidden in the drawer of the table nearby was a knife.

The blade had been whetted just a while ago. The hilt was washed; perhaps there had been blood on it. The knife matched the one the kids had taken from the fourth floor hours earlier.

“That’s the knife we stole. What is it doing down here?” asked Karlie.

“Don’t be silly. It probably just looks like the one we have. I bet you if we go upstairs our knife will be in the exact same spot where we left it!” exclaimed Hunter.

“Why don’t we go up there and check?” questioned Simon.

“I think that’s the best idea,” concluded Derek nervously.

The four of them made their way up the stairs, scared that the knife would not be where they had left it. Their feet moved so that they could get all the way up, however they were stiff, stuck in one place. The last thing they wanted to see was the knife missing. After a few minutes going up the stairs, a time that felt like forever, the kids went to check.

It wasn’t inside Hunter’s backpack. It wasn’t under Karlie’s dress. It wasn’t on top of Derek’s football. Nor was it beside Simon’s board game. The weapon had “disappeared” and the only possible answer was that it was downstairs. They made their way back down to take their knife back.

***

The room had a new visitor. Rocking in the chair was a woman. Her hair was long, like Rapunzel’s. Each strand was black, with a few white ones mixed in, like stars against the night sky. She was wearing a red skirt that went to the floor and a white long-sleeve shirt, even though it was full-on summer. Looking from the back, the woman could be any age: 30, 40, or even 90. The kids were confused as to how a woman had appeared out of nowhere. They backed out of the room so they could talk.

“Who is she and what is she doing?” exclaimed Karlie.

“We know just as much as you do. No need to be scared,” replied Simon.

“I wonder if the citizens know this, if our parents know this,” continued Hunter.

“I have a feeling that they have been keeping it a secret from us,” said Derek.

“I’m frightened, but we need to get to know her if we want to learn something about her,” Karlie uttered.

They walked back into the room, scared but with each other’s company. As they made their way up to the rocking chair. They shivered. No one knew what to say or how to act. It was a new situation.

“Heee-llo-oo,” Simon murmured. He got no response. “Hello-o.” His voice got stronger. Still no response. “Hello.” Solid voice. Nothing.

Simon had gained courage. He was now ready to tap her on the shoulder.  As he was lowering his hand all his bravery was gone, he couldn’t do it. That was when the three friends went near him and stood by his side. They knew that they would help him bring his confidence back.

Simon tapped her once, then twice, then thrice. She didn’t move an inch. Was she a rock statue? Impossible, she hadn’t been there when they had gone earlier. They decided it was better to give her some time. Maybe the next day she would be willing to talk to them.

As they made their way upstairs, it was silent. No one said a word. Karlie, Derek, Simon, and Hunter lay in their sleeping bags. One by one, they went falling asleep, except Karlie. Karlie was still stuck in the past. She couldn’t stop thinking about the event that had occurred hours before. Why had this woman simply ignored them? She was not satisfied with the answer, “I don’t know.” Everyone was asleep; perfect chance for Karlie to go downstairs and find out the real truth.

The woman sat in the same spot. Rocking. Not asleep. Karlie was frightened by the mystery but she couldn’t handle not knowing what was behind it.

“Hi,” Karlie mumbled. She assumed that her voice was too soft. “Hi.”

“Linda?!” Mrs. Moriarty turned around.

“No, Karlie.”

“I knew that the hospital had faked your death. I am so glad I can finally say I have a daughter.”

What did she mean by daughter? Something was wrong with Mrs. Moriarty. What such thing could have left her that way. Karlie looked confused. “What are you saying? I am not your daughter.”

“Linda, let me tell you a story. Sit down, please. Years ago I was pregnant. No, not in this hospital, in the other town’s hospital. I gave birth the day of the outbreak. The hospital was such a mess that they simply confused my daughter, Linda, you, and took you/her to the school, which we are in at this very moment.”

“I’m very sorry to interrupt, yet I need to tell you that I am not your daughter.”

Mrs. Moriarty simply ignored Karlie and continued. “After my pain had gone away I asked to get a transfer. When I arrived here, I was delighted. The hospital was beautiful. Clean and in order. I waited on my hospital bed, the one you are sitting on, until the first doctor came in. My smile turned into a frown. I was told that she/you had passed to a better place, but I knew that it had not been a better place.”

“What are you trying to get at?”

“In my heart I always knew my daughter had not died, that one day she would come back to me.”

“You have been mistaken. My mom is Jasmine Lush. I’m not Linda. You’re just plain old crazy. I’m leaving.”

“Lush?!”

Karlie was shocked with the question. Why did this woman care that she was Lush? She left without answering.

***

Karlie ran up the stairs, trying not to make any noise. Nothing could go perfectly as planned. She tripped and made a loud bang. The boys woke up, terrified.

“What is that?!” Hunter exclaimed

“Karlie!!!! Where are you?” Derek shouted.

“Oww. I just fell, not much,” Karlie explained.

“Are you okay? You better be,” Hunter stated.

Simon finally woke up. “What were you doing at”–he checks his watch–“3 a.m?”

“I was just ummm…”

“Just tell us already!” Derek yelled.

“Please don’t shout. I was just in the bathroom.” Karlie smiled

“Stop lying, I know it’s not true.” Derek rolled his eyes. “I will leave it for now, but tomorrow in the morning I want to know.” He was too tired to think at that moment.

Karlie felt relieved. She would have time to think of a new excuse. Thoughts possessed her, they did not want her to sleep. Karlie thought, I have a mom don’t I? Why is this creepy woman saying that I am her daughter? Should I tell the guys? Do I talk to her again? Her brain was full of questions. After a long while she fell asleep, scared.

“What’s wrong with her?” questioned Derek.

“She seems nervous.” Hunter touched her. “Wow, she’s sweaty. I wonder why she is so nervous.”

“Ahh!!!” Karlie woke up. Her heart was jumping as she breathed heavily.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked.

Her head was telling her to keep it a secret, but her heart was insisting on telling her friends the truth. She spilled it all out. “Last night I went to talk to Mrs. Moriarty. She thinks I’m her daughter. That’s the only reason she answered me.”

“Her daughter?” Simon looked confused.

“Yeh! When I told her my last name, she reacted. I have this weird feeling that she knows me.”

“I think we need to figure this out.” Hunter rolled his eyes.

“No. I am not going down there. Never,” Karlie replied.

“We will be there with you this time.” Derek put his hand on her shoulder.

They had no time to lose. It was already Sunday and soon they would have to leave. The guys forced her downstairs, pulling her by the arms until they arrived to the room.

“Mrs. Moriarty, I am back.”  Karlie stood still. She wanted nothing from this woman.

“Oh, great. I really needed to end what I started yesterday.” She seemed to be excited that Karlie was back.

“Actually, I just came to tell you that I don’t want to be involved in any of your drama. I am not your daughter, it ends here.”

“Sweetie, don’t leave. Yes, certainly you are not Linda. I am sorry that I had to involve you in all that drama.” Mrs. Moriarty seemed to be sorry that she had mistaken Karlie for Linda.

“Thanks, but I really need to go. I am done here.”

“Last thing, my name’s Josephine Moriarty Lush.”

Karlie started to walk away She turned around. “What did you say?”

“Josephine Moriarty Lush.”

“Stop lying. Just let me leave.” Karlie began running away. Tears fell from her eyes. As she ran, the boys stopped her.

“Don’t leave just yet. I know you’re scared. I know you don’t want this. But I also know that you should clean up and go back there to listen to her. She might have something important to tell you.” Derek always knew what to say.

Karlie agreed. She went to the bathroom and fixed herself up. She tried to stay strong and went back to talk with Mrs. Moriarty. As Karlie entered the room, the woman could feel her presence.

“Will you stay this time?”

“I’ll try.” Karlie could barely talk, she had forgotten most words.

“My dad was John Moriarty. Can you guess who my mom was?”

“I’m not here for fun and games.”

“Well, okay then. My mom was Lucinda. Lucinda Lush. Recognize her?”

Karlie gasped. “Gram?”

“Mom,” replied Mrs. Moriarty.

“Gram Lu is your mom?”

“That’s right!”

In the meantime, the boys were in the hallway trying to listen to what Mrs. Moriarty and Karlie were talking about. It was really confusing. The ladies continued.

“Stop lying. I am nobody to you.”

“Can you just listen for a second? My mom, Lucinda, had me as a young woman, only 16. She put me in a foster home because she believed she was too young to take care of me. It was years before anyone adopted me. I lived a miserable life. My days in the foster home were boring. I had so much spare time that I even found out my mom’s name. I knew nothing about her. All I knew was that she didn’t want me. I can’t remember exactly how I ended up with the picture, but I got a picture of my mom and a picture of me and made a collage. I still have it till this day.

“My experience was terrible. I dreamed of the day I would have my own daughter and make her live a perfect life. When Linda was born, I loved her unconditionally. No one could take her away from me.”

“Except…”

“Yes, she passed, but I had this feeling that it was all a lie.”

“So you waited for her here. In this exact spot for her to find you.”

“I have waited for so long that I have forgotten the outside world. After seeing you, I understood that I still have family, even if they hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t need to lie.”

“I’m not lying. But hey, how do you know i’m your niece?”

“The first thing I thought about when you said Lush was that you were my sister, however you were too young. Then, I thought that my mom had had another daughter that I had never known about. It turns out I was right. I am glad to say that now I have a neice.”

Karlie started crying. She looked like a waterfall. She had hated Mrs. Moriarty since the minute she had met her, now she just felt like she could not hate her. Karlie understood her past and thought that Mrs. Moriarty just needed some love. She ran up to the rocking chair and gave her a big hug. Her aunt returned a bigger hug.

“I want you in my life,” Karlie said while she sobbed.

“I want you in mine,” Auntie Moriarty responded. She smiled for the first time since after Linda was born.

As they moved apart from each other, a tear could be seen sliding down Mrs. Moriarty face. After a life of suffering, now, there was a reason to live.

 

Letters to the Living

I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but I really want to know what Indigo was talking about. She told me that there was someone in the book named Rex, and he writes plays. She had this look in her eyes when she said it and I knew that she would not let me go until I found out about him.  I know you’re probably wondering, “why do you care that he is a playwright?” Well, I care because when I died I was trying to write a play but I never could find a way to finish it. Sounds bananas right! Well, I couldn’t find a way to end it then, and I’ve decided not to try again now.

“Ok Margo, it’s now or never. You have to do this,” Did I mention that I tend to talk to myself? As I walk over to the book in the center of the room I start to get really excited, and then I start thinking about what they could do to me if they find out what I’m doing. “Well it’s too late to turn back now,” I say to myself. I’m standing right in front of the book and with one swift movement the book is laying open and the name is right there. “Rex Barnes, age 25. What? Indigo said he was 50, well I’m not surprised, she’s terrible at reading,” Was that to mean to say out loud, even if I am alone? “So he is a playwright ! That’s so groovy!” Whoops! I really should not be yelling. Rushing, I take down his address. “53, West End Avenue, Los Angeles,” He lives in LA! This guy is just too cool. Oh, and I wrote down his address so that I can write to him, and no, it’s not wired for a dead girl in the Realm to write to a living guy above, at least I hope it’s not. I mean it’s only weird if i tell him that I’m dead.

“Margo! Are you in here?” Indigo is here! Should I tell her what I did? Nah, it will be my little secret.

“Ya, I’m in here!” I call out.

“Hey Margo, do you want to go down to the truck and practice for tomorrow?” The ‘truck’ is where we go to hangout and practice for shows. Oh, I forgot to mention that I am an actress, and right now Indigo and I are in a play where everyone is reenacting their deaths. It’s pretty cool, but also incredibly morbid.

“Sure, why not? Let me just go change and grab my bag.” I like to practice in costume so that I’m comfortable during the show. “Ok, I’m ready, let’s bounce.” That was weird.

“See you tomorrow!” Indigo just left so I think that I’m going to write this letter.

Dear Rex Barnes,

Wow, this is really weird.

Hello.

I don’t know how to say this without sounding psycho, so I’m just going to go for it.

I’m a student at NYU in Manhattan. For my english class we were all assigned pen pals. I’m not sure how they found you but they did, so I’m going to roll with it.

My name is Margo Vanter, and I’m 23 years young. I’m studying to be a writer and actress. I think a lot about life, and how we all fit in and what our purposes are. I feel that we were all put on this earth for a reason, and I am determined to find my reason and make sure that I fulfil my duty.

If you think this is too weird you don’t have to write back, but it would be cool if you did (that sounded really stalkery).

Your new Pal (get it penpal, new pal),

~Margo Vanter  

I can’t believe he wrote back! I checked my mail, and it was there. I can’t believe it!

Hello Margo Vanter,

This is kind of weird.

I’m not sure how they got my name either, but I am glad they did. You seem like a cool girl.

I am 25, and I am a playwright.

I see where you come from with your whole view on life, and purposes, but I think we’re put on this earth so that we can create our own path, our own morals, our own purpose. I would love to hear more about where your opinions on life come from.

I can’t wait to get to know you more, unless you think I am a total jerk for disagreeing with your view on life (wow that sounds weird).

Your pal,

-Rex Barnes

He seems really groovy, and he wasn’t too freaked out that I somehow got his address, or at least he didn’t show it in his letter. It’s also a really good thing that I didn’t tell him what I really am and made up a little story. It wasn’t completely made up though, so it’s not so bad. I did go to NYU for those things, but we never got pen pals.

“5 minutes till curtain.” Crap! I’m not ready. It’s the second night of our show and there is a wonderful turnout, but that just makes it even worse.

“Margo, were going on in one minute!” Mark shouts. Mark and I are in the same scene. We were both killed that day in Central Park during a be-in. If you don’t know what that is, it’s when we would sit around and hang out, while protesting the Vietnam war.

 

“You were fantastic!!” Jacob screeches excitedly as he runs across the room to me after the show. Jacob is one of my best friends, and a well known dancer with the biggest company in our part of the realm. He and his boyfriend had come to see me backstage before we headed out to dinner.

“I didn’t think I had that in me.” I can’t believe that I got through that. I was so nervous in the beginning, I thought i was going to die all over again on that stage.

“Are you ready to head out?” Sam, Jacob’s boyfriend asks.

 

“Pass me the champagne,” I shouted across the table to Jacob. After we left the theater, Jacob and Sam took me to their new favorite club.

“Thank god we got a booth in the back,” Sam exclaims as Jacob passes me the bottle of champagne.

“Oh Sam, do you remember last time we were here?” Jacob cous,

“Oh, my, gosh, yes,” Sam replies, thinking about the memory.

“Let’s go dance,” Jacob whispers, pulling Sam out of the booth. And I’m alone, great. After about five minutes of waiting for them to come back, well, more like willing them with my mind, I decide that it’s time to go. I throw some money down on the table for my drink, grab the half empty bottle of champagne, and make my way to the front.

“Are you leaving already?” Jacob yells at me as I make my way to the door.

“Ya, I am really sorry, I’m just really tired.” And with that I make my way out the door. As soon as the fresh air hits my face, I know where I am going.

 

Boom “AHHH!” I scream as I fall out of bed. As I get up, I look around. I realize I have no idea how I got home. The last thing I remember is walking out of the club with a bottle of champagne. I guess I finished that bottle, and somehow got home. As I stumble out of my bedroom, I start to feel the pounding in my head from last nights adventures. After I’ve taken two advil and downed a glass of water,  I start looking around my shoebox apartment for what fell. When I finally find it, I laugh quietly to myself because it was just a magnet falling off the fridge.

 

The second I walk into the theater, everyone looks at me with concern in their eyes, and a few people laugh. “What, you’ve never seen a girl walking around with her sunglasses on inside? I’ve seen at least half of you in the same position,” I yell. I still have a pounding headache, which is weird because I took an Advil. Well, it’s not that weird. I always had a feeling that all this “amazing” science doesn’t work. I continued to make my way to the dressing room, to drop my bag, and chill till I have to be on stage.

It’s now five minutes till curtain, and I still feel extremely hungover. I’m starting to think that I had more than just champagne last night. As I walk onto the stage, the room starts to spin. I walk over to my mark and try not to fall in the process. I grab onto Stu, another member in the scene, to keep my balance. I go through the motions of the first scene, sitting on the ground, watching Stu dance around in circles as we laugh. As I sit on the floor watching Stu, I start to feel better. When I get up to join him my legs wobble and I collapsed on the floor with a thud. As I lay there motionless, I hear gasps from the audience, before everything goes black.

 

I hear the humming of an air conditioner, as I slowly wake up and open my eyes. I know I’m at Indigo’s house. “Good you’re awake. Is it too cold in here? You know how I always have the AC on,” Indigo whispers, as she walks in.

“What happened?”

“Well my dear Margo, you must have had a crazy night. You were more than hungover, and the Advil you took made it worse, and so did the spotlight in the theater.”

“What happened to the show. It was the final night?”

“Oh, right, they decided to put the final show off till tomorrow. After you fainted, they decided just to call the show. I mean you were the second act and everyone was really scared, so they thought that everyone would perform better if we postponed the performance.”

“What happened to ‘the show must go on’?”

“I have no idea. I guess that rule no longer applies when you’re dead.”

“Why, because we have all the time in the world?”

 

The minute I got home that night I decided to right back to Rex. I guess I’ve been so busy that I forgot to write back.

Dear Rex,

I guess I see where you are coming from with your view on life. I just think that if you tell yourself that you have to make your own path and create your own propose, then you are putting so much pressure on yourself that I decide to think what I think to make it easier.

It’s not that I’m too lazy to do it your way. Well, I sort of am, but also I grew up in a family of bible thumpers, and my parents thought that if you couldn’t find your purpose in life then you had failed to please god, and the world might just end. I think that that scared me so much that I did it just to make them happy. Also because I don’t really believe in god, if I didn’t think about life the way my parents do then they might disown me, or have my family turn on me. (They’re nice people, it’s just that at times they are scarier than the devil.)

You probably think that I’m a huge coward for not taking control of my life, but again, it makes everything easier.

On an easier topic, what kind of plays do you write? I tried writing a play once, but I couldn’t find a way to wrap it up.

I’d really love to get to know you better.

~Margo Vanter

 

“You better not pass out this time,” Benji says. As we stand behind the curtain I can just feel that the house is full. Apparently word got out about my little spill last night, and now people from all platforms are here to document the final night of the show.

“Oh shut it, Benji. Admit it, you were happy that the show was canceled so early on. I saw you struggling with the new lights and the new curtains backstage.”

“At least I didn’t give myself a bad rep in the biz.”

“What are you talking about?” One little mistake couldn’t do that much damage. And I can always say I was drugged.

“As you must know, word got out about your little fall. Show Magazine called you recluse, unprofessional,” Oh ***. I knew I made a mistake, I just didn’t think it was such a big one.

“Well, let me just set a few things straight. I don’t have a drinking problem. I just get lonely and sometimes it’s the only way to fill that little hole. And I didn’t even drink that much the other night, I was drugged, so it really wasn’t my fault.” I whisper/shout at him, as I turn around and walk away. God, I hate that he gets to me. I will definitely have to set things straight with the press after the show.  

 

Bang. We’re at the point in the scene where Steven has just been introduced. Steven, despite what happened, is not that bad of a guy. Steven joined us a few years ago after a car crash, and with some bargaining and stage makeup, we convinced him to be in the act, for he played a big role in the day. Steven was in the park walking his dog. They had stopped on the same lawn I was on, to play frisbee. He had not been looking where he was going and accidently ran into Danny, who at the impact tripped. Danny’s gun went off. Danny was a member of the police force. He had been on the lawn because an escaped prisoner was reported to have been seen on the lawn. His gun was out because, well, he was after an escaped prisoner. So when he tripped and his gun went off, it fired 4 times.  Stu, Mark, Jan, and I were all killed.

 

Hello Margo Vanter,

I hardly think that your parents would disown you for having different views than them.

Although I see where you are coming from with how it makes everything easier. I do think that if it were supposed to be easy, then there would be some book out there that told us everything we needed to know about everything we needed to know things about.

My plays are mainly realistic fiction, but once in a blue moon, I will write one about fairies or superheros. I have to say those are probably the most fun to see put into action.

I doubt that your play was as bad as you think. I always think mine are terrible until they are done and I see them being acted out. Sometimes even then I think they are terrible. It’s always good to have somebody that you can trust to give you honest feedback, and tell you if it is indeed terrible. If I were you, I would finish the play and give it to a friend that you trust to read it. Even if they say it’s terrible, you can at least say you wrote a play.

If you would like, I can read it and give you feedback. I promise I won’t steal your ideas.

Your pal

-Rex Barnes

 

Is it weird that every time I get a letter from Rex it makes my day so much better, but I know that what I’m doing isn’t fair to him, or me? In his last letter, when he said “If you would like I can read it and give you feedback. I promise I won’t steal your ideas,” I realised that he actually cares about me, and thinks of me as a professional and a friend, a good friend. He thinks that I’m a normal human being. I think that when I found Rex, he was my last real connection with the real world, before I have to fully accept that I can never go back to earth, and I have to move on. Its not fair what I’ve been doing to Rex. But I’m going to send him one last letter.

 

Dear Rex Barnes,

It’s with great pleasure that I’ve been able to have this friendship with you, but I think I need a little break.

A lot has been going on in my life, and I think I need to take a little break from everything. I have loved getting to know you, and seeing the world through your eyes.

I’m going to really miss your letters.

Love always

~Margo Vanter

P.S. Along with this letter I’ve also sent you my play. It would warm my heart if you could take a look at it, and maybe even turn my dreams into a reality. I give you full rights to it, and I hope you do it justice.

A Meaningful Magical Mystery

The clock struck 3:00 pm. The bell rang as students ascended from their seats. Although the teacher dismissed class late, most of Michael’s classmates had already exited the lab, ignoring her requests. The fatigued students lagged behind the rest of class.

Michael trekked through the swamp of sophomores rushing to get home. He looked forward to dismissal, but today was different. His forty five minute periods seemed to drone on for hours. He checked his phone: he had a text from Veronica. “I need you come to the shop now, my shift ended at three.” Michael laughed, recalling an earlier memory of the day which included Veronica and a whoopie cushion.

He grabbed his textbooks from his locker and started to sprint towards the shop. The concrete jungle of Manhattan circulated around him, bustling with pedestrians and cars. The short tempered driver honking at the inattentive walker crossing the street while texting, the dog walker cleaning up his dog’s feces, and the rattle of the few coins in the homeless man’s cup all swirled around him.

As he hurried into the nine story building, he gazed at the dull advertisements from Sleepy’s and Coke which adorned the walls. He stepped into the elevator and pressed the button labelled six. The elevator rose to the sixth floor and deposited him into the hallway which led to the shop.

Veronica walked over to him when he stepped out of the elevator. She looked a bit nervous, about what, he could not tell. She asked him why he was late. He shifted the blame to his Science teacher who had delayed the class. He caught a ‘see you later’ as she she hopped in the elevator and pressed the lobby button. And she was gone, he checked his watch. 3:09 pm. He inhaled a deep breath and observed the shop.

Although the lobby was extremely attractive and was recently refurbished, the magic shop was something out of a magician’s fantasy. Not a speck of dust dotted the floor. The store always had a crisp smell, like playing cards fresh out of the box. The air conditioner was on full which left the shop in a refreshing but not cold state. The unopened collection of playing cards dotted the back wall and sets of classic magic tricks such as cups and balls and Chinese linking rings were displayed under the glass table. A whole wall was filled with an enormous book collection, exploring the art of deception and magic.

Behind him, the door chimes ricocheted off one another. An enthusiastic child and a weary supervisor entered the magical shop. “Can I see the new Tallys?” asked the child, referring to the new shipment of playing cards known as Tally-Ho’s.

“Sure,” he replied.

Michael went behind the glass table and pulled down the new shipment of cards and showed them to the child. The child tried out the deck himself, springing the cards from hand to hand with practiced ease. He gave the deck a last fan and handed them back to him. “I’ll take two red and two blue please,” he said.

“No problem, nice moves by the way,” Michael said.

The child smiled. Michael pulled out a bag, neatly placed the four requested decks inside of the bag, and entered in the order into the cash register. “It will be $13.96,” he said.

The supervisor pulled out her wallet and pulled out a $10 bill and a $5 bill which she placed it on the table. The child smiled gleefully and hugged his caretaker. She smiled. He rung up the cash register with a few quick and calculated taps and handed the change back as his first customers walked out of the store.

Customers came and went, some stayed for a while and some left in minutes. Magicians of all ages flourished throughout the shop. The store was most busy around five. He enjoyed talking to other magicians, although he worked at the magic shop for extra money, he had taken a special interest in the art outside of the shop.

About an hour later, Justin showed up at the magic shop. He and Michael were family friends. Their parents knew each other before they were born and had kept in contact. Justin had an interest in magic as well, which is one of the reasons they enjoyed each other’s company as much as they did.

Michael looked down at his watch, it read just before eight. The time had flown by, Justin was still pouring over effects from the store’s magic library. Michael needed to start closing up the shop. He rung up the last of the customers and ushered them out of the shop politely, he saw Justin in the corner looking at the Tarbell book series. Ignoring him, he cleaned up the room, making sure books were lined up properly, pushing in the chairs for the close up table, and sweeping the floor.

“Come on, man, let’s go,” said Michael.

Justin walked out of the shop and waited patiently in the hall for Michael. He took a last look around turned off the lights and reached for the keys to lock the shop. His hand only felt empty space. He groped for the keys around the hook. He flipped the lights back on. The hook was empty.

He searched the room with Justin, under the tables, behind the cash register, and all of the shelves. He looked down at his watch again, 8:19 pm. He needed to be home by nine, it was family movie night. Michael had tried to tell his family that he was too old for movie night but his parents had just laughed and told him to come home early.

He dialed Sam, the head of the magic shop.

“Hello?” Sam’s voice whispered over the phone.

“Hey, I can’t find the keys to lock up the shop and I need to be home in about half an hour,”  Michael, skipping traditional formalities.

“Sure, sure,” Sam said inattentively, “grab the keys from the my office, there should be a pair on my desk.”

He put the phone down on hold and walked towards Sam’s office. He twisted the doorknob. He pushed the rusty knob a little harder, the handle gave and the door opened. Michael observed the office, it seemed to look exactly like a normal office without relation to magic. It contained a standard desk, computer, and lamp. If he had seen the office by itself he would have thought it belonged to a business man. Michael saw the keys, grabbed them, and returned to the phone.

“I found them, thank you,” Michael said into the phone.

“Sure,” said Sam, obviously no longer wanting to be bothered.

Michael put down the phone and ushered Justin out of the store who was babbling on a variation that he had recently created off of a mentalism effect.

Michael closed the shop just as Justin suddenly ceased talking.

An eerie silence filled the air. He turned and saw a dark silhouette which stood about twenty feet away at the end of the hall. The creature seemed to be made of shadows. A dark cloak covered most of its body. It  held a black cane, it carried as if it was more of a weapon than a support system. The cane was curved at the top, almost like a homicidal sickle.

Michael blinked twice, trying to convince himself that he was seeing things. The figure kept staring, He could hear his heart thumping against his ribcage, his adrenalin was pumping rapidly through his veins. He stole a quick glance to his right, where Justin stood, staring at the figure.

He approached a few steps forward, just passing his friend. The figure turned to its left and slithered down the hallway. Michael flinched, then turned around and motioned for Justin to follow him on his endeavour. All the blood had drained from Justin’s face, but he followed attentively.

Michael and Justin turned the corner expecting to see the dark silhouette. It had vanished, erased from existence. They looked back down the hall to find it empty, they stood there, still in shock.

“So,” Justin said to break the silence.

“Should we head home?” asked Michael, still gazing in awe at the spot where the creature stood.

“Sounds good to me,” replied Justin.

They started down the hall, heading toward the door marked ‘Door A.’ Justin reached for the handle, but before he could turn the knob, it erupted in flames. Justin reeled back, falling into Michael, who went down, hard, hitting his head on the floor.

“Oww!” howled Michael.

He turned to his side so he could get a look at Justin. He had fallen down as well, but was currently propped up on his left elbow. They stood up, scoping themselves for bruises. They had luckily escaped fairly unscathed. Michael inspected the door. The door was completely plain. Nothing on the door signaled the eruption of fire. Justin peered over his shoulder, gazing in astonishment at the door.

Justin pushed at the door. It was locked from the other side. Without a knob, they could not try to pick the lock. A ghostly cackle rebounded off the walls. They flinched. They looked at each other and turned the corner, hoping to locate the source of the sound. They turned the corner and found themselves facing the shop door. They walked down the hall toward the door.

“Locked,” said Michael as the tried the door.

They turned around and decided to head toward the elevator. They turned the corner and found the silhouette staring once again at them. Michael’s breath caught in his mouth. Justin was petrified of the demon creature which had been haunting him and Michael. Justin noticed something different, his cane was missing.

“Who are you!” yelled Michael to the hooded figure.

The creature responded by raising an dark black hand in front of the chest. He closed his hand and as he did, his cane appeared in his hand. Michael noticed the tip of the cane ended in a lethal point. The figure brought the cane behind his head and vaulted it at them. The cane was a blur, it seemed hell-bent on skewering the two magicians. The cane buried itself in the wall behind them with a loud thud, narrowly missing Michael’s head. They turned and saw the sleek black cane protruding out of the wall. Justin let out a sigh of relief. They turned back to where the figure was standing. All they saw was an empty hallway, They ran down it to look for the figure, the only trace the creature was his deathly cane.

“We should call the police,” said Michael.

“Agreed,” replied Justin.

They walked down the hall and opened up the magic shop with Sam’s keys. As soon as the two magicians stepped in to the shop, they noticed a dark figure in the back. Justin flipped on the lights.

“Veronica?” said Michael.

“Oh crap!” said Veronica, looking up, obviously not wanting to have been found.

“Why?” asked Justin, confused.

“Well, you guys put a whoopee cushion on my chair, so I thought I might want to return the favor,” said Veronica with a kiddish smile on her face.

“Fair enough,” said Michael.

Michael motioned for everyone to follow him. He walked out of the shop as Justin and Veronica followed. Michael chuckled, he had been running from a figure that scared the crap out of him, he was glad it was just Veronica.

“What’s so funny?” asked Justin, obviously not wanting to forgive and forget.

“Calm down,” said Michael.

Justin turned his attention to Veronica. “How did you do it?” he asked.

“Which part?” asked Veronica.

“The costume?” asked Justin.

“We had some extra close up pads and duct tape,” said Veronica, shrugging.

“The doorknob?” asked Justin curiously.

“A modification of flash paper,” responded Veronica.

“The laugh?” asked Michael.

“Remote speaker,” replied Veronica.

“The keys,” asked Justin.

“I sent one of my friends to pick them up around five,” said Veronica

“Where did you learn how to throw that cane? You could have killed us,” asked Michael, remembering the horrifying experience.

“I didn’t throw anything at you guys,” said Veronica.

They turned to around and saw a hooded black silhouette at the end of the hall.

My Camp Love

After you read this you may think my life is some cheesy teenage camp love story you find on Disney Channel but this- this is a true story. A story about a real teenage love.

 

Hi, I’m Winter and I’m 13 and I’m not like every other girl in my school. I’m Bisexual and Genderfluid. I’m attracted to boys and girls. And one day I could be a boy and another day I can be a girl and another I can be neutral. The first day of camp I was stoked but I was scared. I was happy to meet new people but I didn’t know how happy they were to meet me. When I arrived to the DC headquarters there she was: her short blonde hair with brown streaks. She called herself Beck. She had a creative personality and a passion for friendship. When you looked in her eyes, it was like in an instant your heart beat out of your chest. Before I knew it we were being shipped together on the bus. How we fell in love Is a whole other story.

 

It all started on the bus. She was a little car sick. So was I. So she held my hand until we got here. it was like when we touched fireworks burst in my heart. I thought she didn’t like me but I guess I was wrong. Because that same day I decided to pass her a note at the event with song lyrics: A backless dress and some beat up sneaks. My discotheque Juliet teenage dream. And she responded: You’re adorable. Thank you, love. After the event,  we got our food. She walked to the health center and I kissed her soft cheek. At first I was a little scared so I started to run but she stopped me and kissed me back. Like they say in the movies, “It was like we were the only two in the world.” But that’s how it felt. I waited for her outside the health center and I walked her to her cabin. I kissed her goodnight.  

 

Then next day I was eager to see her. But she was telling everyone that we were together like I was some kind of toy. I didn’t understand. She said she needed to talk to me. That’s always a bad sign. But it wasn’t. She said she hadn’t been in a real relationship before and that she wanted to date just for camp to see how it went. I was little skeptical but I trusted her. And with that we kissed each other goodbye and went to our separate cabins. That night I could think of nothing else but her. Her voice, her hair, her name, her warm skin on my hand. I love her.

 

Love is a strong word a word you only use if you really mean it. Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. And that was what I was feeling: deep affection. The next day at the event I walked her to canteen. It was pretty romantic but at the same time not because there were people everywhere so it wasn’t that romantic as I thought. I sat down trying to quietly write a song. But it was so loud. So I walked out of the room and I glanced at her. She came chasing after.

 

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something?” she said.

 

“No it’s just, I’m a little tired,”  I responded.

 

I went to my cabin after that everyone wanted to know about Beck. If we were dating and what the deal was.

 

“Where were you?” Anne says.

 

“I was walking Beck to her cabin, sorry,” I reply.

 

“It’s cool,” says Marley.

 

“So are you and Beck like dating now?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just wondering.”

 

“If you must know then yes…”

 

“Now I need to shower.”

 

“When you come out of the shower you need to tell us everything!”

 

I told them everything I wanted to but I left out a few details.

 

For a few days Beck was avoiding me. I was a little confused. Last time I checked couples were supposed to talk at least once a day. After the second day I started saying to my friend Tabitha that I might end it with Beck because she was pretty much using me for a trophy at camp. So the next day at the dance, I started thinking and I started to cry and I sat by the window on the second floor thinking about how I would cut it off.

 

I really loved her but the question was, does she love me? Tabitha saw me crying and she walked over to me and she asked me what was wrong. I told her again that I thought Beck was using me for camp. Then Beck came over to hug me and she asked Tabitha to step away for a while. I told Beck that I thought she was just using me for camp and that she didn’t really love me.

 

And that every time I walked up to her she would walk away or walk faster. She told me that she really did love me and she wanted to date me. She told me that everytime I walked up to her and walked away was because she was in an argument. Then she did something that proved her point. She kissed me. Smack on my lips. We ran back into the party and she lead me to Tabitha and she kissed me again. Then we danced for a good five minutes until I got thirsty. So I went to go get water. Beck told me she would be with Melissa our friend from DC. When I got back I was pulled outside by Melissa and Beck and they told me something that really sucked. Beck told me that she realized she wasn’t romantically attracted to me. She kept apologizing. But I couldn’t take it. I ran inside and sat next to the hot chocolate machine and cried. Tabitha saw me and she took me into the boys bathroom to calm me down. She told me I was the most beautiful bravest smartest person she knows and that if Beck can’t see that then that’s her fault.

 

She asked me if I was going to sit here and cry or get out there and dance like there was no tomorrow. And I did. I had a fun night. I had forgotten about Beck until someone brought her up in my cabin and I cried. I was awake thinking, Why did she just tell me? Why not tell me before we started dating? Why me? Why does every girl I date change their mind? My first girlfriend told me that she wasn’t bisexual while we were dating and now Beck says she’s not romantically attracted to me. I cried and cried until I got tired.

 

Next thing I knew it was morning and we were heading to breakfast. I told her that I wasn’t mad at her but I was broken hearted. I walked away. I wanted to talk to her again but I didn’t feel like I could. I felt like she wouldn’t even acknowledge me. For the first time I was admitting I was scared. I was really scared. I was scared to look at her in her deep eyes and fall for her again but then realize it would be a spiral of falling in love and falling out of love. So I just left, I left myself on a cliff hanger. But I don’t want to find out what happens next.

BROKEN CITIES FINAL PIECE

¨Mark, how’s the water supply?¨

Mark shifted the bag to his side, and peered down at the bag.

¨Low. Okay, but not enough to last. We need to stop soon.¨ Leo nodded.

It had been a week now since they had fled the city, and Mark had become used to the way things could look outside Manhattan–the weird forests, the swamps, clean and intimidating houses, and roads cutting through barren desert–where he, Asha, and Leo were walking down now.

The code engraved into the metal block still seemed heavier in his pocket each day. Last night, he had studied it in the moonlight, thinking too hard. He sorted the shapes in his head, traced them on his skin, reversed them and compared them to the few words he knew until his head was throbbing and he could have thrown the *** thing out the train window. But he still had no idea what the symbols and numbers meant. He couldn’t fathom how they could be such a threat to the labor camps that the Officials would run him at gunpoint out of the entire city. Maybe if he had learned how to read when he was younger, he could figure it out…

Mark shook his head. There was no point in worrying about that now.

For once, there was a pleasant breeze in the air. Closing his eyes and feeling the air dance across his face, Mark could almost forget the exhausting journey ahead of them.

¨Hey, you ever thought about what you would do if you were clinker?¨ Asha asked, her voice light — which was strange for her.

Mark smirked a bit. ¨Sometimes.¨

¨I just now started thinking about it.¨

¨I don’t know. I mean, I’d probably use all that money to change things. Get kids out of the work camps.¨

“Me too. But also, you know…¨

¨So much food.¨

Asha chuckled. ¨Exactly. I don’t even care what it is. I’d stockpile.¨

¨Ï would drink that stuff Pete had every morning. Y’know, the hot, uh…¨

¨Coffee, Mark.”

¨Coffee,” Mark agreed. His memory was so fuzzy and slow these days. ¨But other than that, I can’t imagine it, you know? I can’t comprehend how you can have that much. How you can be that safe. I’d wake up and have no idea what to do. ¨

Asha nodded as she ambled along, wiping the sweat from her brow. ¨Disgusting that some people have too much to know what to do with.¨

Mark scowled as he exhaled slowly. It was getting too hot. ¨They don’t even need to work.¨

¨Yeah.”

“That money could go to kids like Nat or Char. The little ones who work thirteen hours every day so they can eat food that poisons them.” Mark spat. He felt his throat rising up in his chest, the clenched feeling he got when the thought about everyone back at the camp.

“I hate them. ¨

¨Yeah.¨

Nat and Char, whom he’d told stories to around a kerosene lamp, watched over when they got into bed, protected the way he used to protect his brother, Matteo. Leo, Asha and he had given them rides on their backs when they were too sore to stand, even when the pain from the extra weight was nearly too much after a day of back-breaking work on the broken buildings.

Now everyone in that drowned city was hundreds of miles away. They could all be dead, and he’d never know.

Hours crawled by. Conversations slowed to a stop, the noises of the wind and desert creatures drowning out any ideas. They bit cautiously at the provisions, taking only the bare minimum to keep walking. The heat was deafening, but Mark was used to it. Just one week ago, he remembered, he was prying metal from unforgiving cement in this weather.

Midday turned to evening, which turned to dusk. Leo held the compass, tracking their steps carefully, making sure the road was still headed due west.

“What time is it?” mumbled Asha.

Mark tipped his head up the sky and studied it. “Like…eleven. Or midnight.”

Leo groaned, running his hand exhaustedly through his hair. “Do you know how much longer?”

“No. We don’t,” said Mark. “But Aan said we’ll be close when we pass a green sign.”

All three of them searched in the dark, but found no signs of color.

Asha cleared her throat. “We should decide what to do once we get to this place. With the Code.”

Leo sighed heavily. “Do I have to say again that we can’t trust anyone?”

“No,” said Asha, “Because Aan made it very clear that we have to trust these people.” She lifted her chin, staring fixedly ahead. “‘If you share this secret with them, it could save your lives. You could have the best protection in this land.’”

“‘Could,’ Asha. He kind of gave the hint that this could also break us. What if this is all a trap? They could report us, or kill us right there.”

Asha quickened her pace, her eyes narrowed. “The ‘breaking’ has been done. We’re god*** outlaws. The government — or whoever they are, is following us. I don’t think this can get much worse.”

“I think … yeah. We need to take the leap if we want to go anywhere. But let’s get to know them first.” Mark decided. Asha gave him a grateful look. Leo shook his head, silent.

The dust and sand and open space reminded Mark a little of home. As his mind wandered aimlessly, he started thinking of Matteo. What if he just showed up out of the dark, walking in the opposite direction?

Mark wondered what he’d look like. How tall, and how dark he would have gotten. What happened to Matteo? What did the world inflict on him? Was he hard and mean like Mark, or broken, or safe, or dead?

And the real question, thought Mark bitterly, what kind of coward of a man can’t protect his little brother or mom?

Asha was stumbling as she walked. Mark had never seen her in less control–not even when the dirigible was crashing, all those weeks ago.

He held her arm to steady her. She didn’t say anything. Sweat beaded on her forehead.

“We should stop.”

Asha jerked away. “What? We can’t.”

“You’re not well. It’ll be even worse if you pass out or something. We need to stay–”

“NO!” Asha exclaimed, her eyes widened. “I’m good! We need to make it there before sunup. We’ve stopped four times already,”

Mark narrowed his eyes. Asha was usually wise about her limits.

He decided to let it go. “Fine,” he grunted. “Don’t faint.”

Asha scowled.

Just five minutes later, relief came.

Lights pierced through the dark in the distance when Mark glanced up again. He drew a sharp breath, feeling something surge forward within him.

“Is that…”

Asha let out a strangled sound of relief.

“Yes. It has to be,” mumbled Leo.

Exhaustion running heavy and black through their veins, the three ran the final stretch, stumbling over the gravel, lights in their eyes warm like candles, waiting for them to come home.

Mark peered inside the rusty gate. “Do we just…”

Leo shook the gate. “Are we waiting out here ‘till sunup?”

Asha sighed softly, pressing her face to the gate as if praying. Her skin blended in with the night.

“WHO’S THERE?” came a sudden scream, nearly knocking Mark over. “WE’RE ARMED!”

Leo raised his hands over his head. “We’re just looking for somewhere — somewhere to stay. He — Aan the Most Wise, I mean — told us we could be safe in this village” he shouted back. “We’re from New York, the labor camps—“

“Prove to me you’re telling the truth,” the voice maintained, hard and sharp—the person kept in the shadows.

Mark felt his heartbeat slow as he clenched his fists. The time had come, apparently.

“My name is Marcos Gunner. My mother was Anita Gunner.”

A gasp came from the person on the other side—a girl, it sounded like.

“Is she with —“

“She’s dead,” Mark said.

There was a silence on the other side of the fence. After five beats, a light blinded Mark, Asha, and Leo.

“You’re kids. So am I. Come in.”

The gate creaked open, and Mark saw the village for the first time.

Winding paths leading on for what looked like miles to him, with houses—clay, or brick, or wood, he couldn’t tell—on either side. There was a well every few houses, and lanterns inside. He saw crops growing in the distance, somehow, in the middle of this desert. There were eyes peering at them from the windows nearby. A child. Mark nearly called out hello.

“This is…” Forbidden. Beautiful. Safe. Like home. He exchanged a look with Asha and Leo, who grinned back at him. Relief coursed through Mark’s veins. Safe.

Before he could even turn around, the stranger darted off, returning a moment later with a small mob of people. Mark absent-mindedly shifted the coded block deeper into his bag as they approached.

A blur of faces in the dark overwhelmed Mark, a pair of hands guiding his steps, alongside Leo’s, out of the clearing and down a path. Someone was leading Asha away — Mark tried to break free and tried to catch up to her

“She’s sick,” the man said, holding him back. “We’re getting her to the Marp.”

Mark shook his head. “Is that the infirmary? Is she alright there?”

“Yes. We’ll check it out. Take care of her tonight.”

As Mark and Leo stepped into one of the homes, the world felt like it was tipping over. The warmth and light and enclosure felt claustrophobic, but Mark didn’t care. He sat on the dusty ground, lowered his head between his knees, breathing deeply as his senses came back into focus.

“Take this,” the man insisted, pressing half a loaf of bread and a cup of tea into Mark’s hands. He gaped at the food, then the man. ¨Thank you,¨ he breathed. ¨Thank you so much.¨ The man slipped out the door.

It was as if he was holding two worlds. Mark stumbled across the room, to find a bed — a real, comfortable looking round bed, with sheets and blankets and a floaty, plump white pillow.

He almost teared up.

Leo collapsed into the bed. “This is…amazing.” Mark laughed for the first time in days.

His body screamed of exhaustion, begging to sink into this weird masterpiece and bury itself there, never to get up again. But he forced himself to only sit, and eat six bites of the loaf of bread first, which was so delicious it was almost wrong, and to drink his cup of tea.

Feeling warm and disoriented, he fell into the cloud-like bed and let his eyes close — but not before the glint of the metal in his sack caught his eye.

Symbol after symbol after symbol. The more he looked at them, the more he wished to just leave it behind.

Tomorrow, he thought vaguely. Tomorrow, I’ll tell them…

Mark slipped into a dreamless, heavy sleep.

Hard Working Hopeful: The Trouble Begins

Chapter 1.

 

Liam was sitting in the living room playing video games one bright summer afternoon.

 

“Liam,” called his mom, “time for dinner!”

 

Liam hurried over to potatoes and hamburger.

 

Liam’s dad came in looking grim.

 

“What’s wrong, Leo?” Liam’s mom asked.

 

“I lost my job,” he replied. “I’ll look for another but I might not find one.”

 

Liam felt terrible. He wished he could do something to help.

 

**

 

After a week, Liam’s dad sighed, “I don’t think I’ll ever find one. What if we lose our house?”

 

“We’ll think of something,” said Liam’s mom. Suddenly, she had an idea. “I met a woman in Chicago last month and she said she needs a helper. Maybe Liam could go live with her and send us fifteen bucks a month.”

 

Liam considered it at first, then nodded. He’d do anything to help his parents.

Chapter 2. Trouble

Liam’s mom and Liam got off the train in Chicago. They waited for his taxi. Soon it arrived.

 

“Bye Mom,” Liam said.

 

“Bye honey,” she sniffed.

 

Liam thought about how nice it would be to live with another family. But Liam was wrong.

 

The taxi dropped Liam off at this house — no, mansion. Trust me. It was really big. A man, a woman, and two boys (one was fifteen and the other was eleven like Liam) came out. The woman shook Liam’s hand.

 

“I’m Anna Jackson,” she said. Then she said fiercely, “Start cleaning the kitchen right now! Or else!”

 

Whoa! Liam could not believe how bossy she was.

 

The 11-year-old stepped forward.

 

“Mom?” he said. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to boss him around like that?”

 

“Shut up, Joel,” snapped Mr. Jackson. He turned to Liam. “If you don’t start working soon, I’ll have to whip you!”

 

Liam could tell right away they weren’t a very nice family. Well…Joel might be a little nice. Liam did a lot of chores that afternoon, from carpentry to cooking burgers.

 

At nine o’clock, Mr. Jackson showed Liam his room. “Here it is.” He showed him a walk-in closet with a straw bed and a spiky blanket.

 

Liam sighed. He could tell right away that he was in for a bad story.

 

“May this just be a first impression, because I don’t think I’ll survive,” he prayed. And with that, he fell fast asleep.

 

Chapter 3. A New Friend

 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a first impression like Liam had hoped. In fact, he thought his life would make a good movie, “Child-Abused Boy.” He had to do awful things like hunt animals and plunge toilets. When he didn’t have a job, Liam’s bosses held his legs in rings and locked him in handcuffs up in the air. Heights were his worst fear. If he got a job wrong, he’d get whipped. Once they even made him sleep in a freezing shed filled with ice which was a shock since it was the beginning of August.

 

One day Liam was making a huge statue of Mr. Jackson — yes, the Jacksons were arrogant as well as mean –nwhen Joel came over.

 

“Want some help, Liam?”

 

“Sure!” Liam said.

 

Joel turned out to be very good at building. Soon they’d made a tall statue of Mr. Jackson.

 

“We already have tons of statues of Mom, Dad, and Henry.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“My parents said I was too short and wasn’t awesome enough,” said Joel. “Whenever I ask, ‘Why isn’t there one of me,’ they say, ‘Because you’re so unsuccessful and untalented and are not good at anything.’”

 

Liam was shocked. “What a horrible thing for a mom to say to her son!” he exclaimed. “At least you’re the nicest person in the family.”

 

Joel nodded. “Sorry they haven’t been nice to you.” He changed the subject. “What’s your favorite baseball team?”

 

“Tigers,” Liam said. “Yours?”

 

“Yankees!” said Joel.

 

The boys continued chatting all afternoon.

 

That evening Liam thought of how nice Joel was. He was the only good thing that happened since Liam’s dad lost his job.

Chapter 4. A Letter from Mom

After another week, a letter came for Liam.

 

“It’s from Mom.” He smiled. He went inside. “Mrs. Jackson, my mother gave me a letter. Can I read it?”

 

“Not now!” snapped Mrs. Jackson.

 

“But,” Liam protested.

 

“Or I’ll whip you!”

 

Right away Liam went to cooking pasta.

 

That night, Liam got a flashlight. He and Joel read the letter.

 

Dear Liam,

How’s life? Are the Jacksons nice? When are you going to send money? Yesterday Ruby Baxter’s baby was born. We all had a big party. I wished you could have been there.

Love, Mom

 

Liam grabbed a paper and a pencil. He wrote that he would send money at the end of August and then felt nervous. “She asked how life was,” he whispered. “But I don’t want to lie or tattle.”

 

“Just write and tell her that we’ve become friends.”

 

Liam nodded and finished the letter.

 

“The truth will get out eventually,” Joel said.

 

“I hope!” Liam murmured. Suddenly he had a thought. “Do you think it will be out tomorrow?”

 

“Perhaps,” said Joel.

Chapter 5. Caught!

For the next few weeks, Liam was working with the Jacksons on tons of bad things, like taking care of their pet tiger kitten who was old enough to hurt people. Sometimes Joel helped him with his chores. One day, the boys were in the woods chopping down trees. Mr. Jackson wanted six.

 

“I only have one to go, Joel. You?” Liam asked.

 

“I’ve finished,” said Joel. “How big do you think the Cubs’ chances are of winning the series?”

 

“They haven’t won for a while,” said Liam. “But they’re doing really well.”

 

“I believe in miracles,” said Joel.

 

Suddenly a voice called out, “Joel, what do you think you’re doing?”

 

A group of teenage boys came over, holding guns. Henry was one of them.

 

“That’s Henry’s hunting club,” Joel explained to Liam. “They love murdering animals for fun.”

 

“That’s terrible!” said Liam.

 

“Joel!” said Henry. “You are helping our servant! That’s wrong.”

 

“Not as wrong as hunting,” began Liam, but Henry cut him off.  

 

“You’ve been helping him all along, right?”

 

“Um,” stammered Joel.

 

“You’re a traitor! I’m telling Mom!” hollered Henry.

 

“You wouldn’t dare,” gasped Joel.

 

“Yes I would!” Henry snapped.

 

He and his friends ran off. Joel looked really upset, and Liam gave him a hug.

 

“Mom’s probably going to throw me on the street for a week. That’s what she did the last time I befriended a person working with us.”

 

Liam sighed. “Joel, I’m really sorry you risked this much just to help me.”

 

“It’s okay, man. I just wish we weren’t caught.” Suddenly he looked like he had an idea. “Henry!” he called.

 

Henry turned around. “Yeah?” he asked. “If you don’t tell Mom, I’ll give you my candy for a week. Deal?”

 

Henry nodded and the boys shook hands.

 

Once Liam and Joel had finished, they walked back. Liam said, “Do you think Henry will keep his word, Joel?”

 

“I hope,” said Joel. “I hope.”

Chapter 6.

Liam was sitting in the living room, working on making a lovely skirt for Mrs. Jackson, when he heard her yell, “Liam, can you come in?”

 

That’s funny, he thought. What had he done wrong? He came into the kitchen.

 

“Y-Yesss, Mrs. Jackson?” he stammered.

 

“Just so you know, tomorrow night, we’ll be having friends from Henry’s school over.”  

 

Liam nodded. “What about Joel?” he asked eagerly, feeling excited to meet Joel’s friends.

 

Mrs. Jackson shook her head. “We don’t let other losers in the house,” she said, looking insulted. “Anyway, since you’re not family or guest, we guess you won’t have dinner.”

 

Liam was shocked. The Jacksons were mean, but they had been decent enough to let him eat. “CHILD ABUSE!” he shouted. He ran to the kitchen and dialed 911.

 

“911, can we help you?”

 

Liam said, “Hi, I’m working for this family, who’s treat—”

 

Mrs. Jackson suddenly came in. “Sorry, just my son. He’s lost his memory and thinks it’s April 1, even though it’s August 23. Have a good day.” She hung up and scowled at Liam. “How dare you spread rumors about us. You’re going in the Ice House tonight.”

 

Liam sighed.

 

The next day, Henry’s hunting club came. There were so many of Liam’s favorite foods: Pizza, waffles, candy bars. Liam longed for some of it.

 

He set the table, brought out the delicious food, and went upstairs. He was starving. He felt so hungry he did not think he could sleep. He’d never felt so sad.

 

“Liam?”

 

Liam opened the door. It was Joel.

 

“Here.” Joel handed Liam a pizza slice.

 

“Thanks,” Liam mumbled and gobbled it down. “G’night, Joel.”

 

“‘Night, Liam.” Joel closed the door.

 

Liam felt he appreciated Joel more and more.

 

Chapter 7.

Soon it was the last day of August, and Liam was counting the money he had earned. 82 cents… a dollar 75… 2.75… 4.24…5.40… 6.23… 7.20… 8.17… 8.44… 9.39… 9.97… Soon he had finished. He had 39 dollars and 8 cents. He sent 30 dollars to his house, and an idea for the leftover 9.80.

 

He ran into the kitchen. “Liam, what is it?!” asked Mrs. Jackson.

 

“I sent my first 30 dollars and have 9 dollars left plus 8 cents. And I’m giving them to you for a free night. Okay?”

 

“Well…” stammered Mrs. Jackson. Then she said, “Oookay, on September 5.”

 

“Thanks,” said Liam. He had an idea.

 

He ran to Joel’s room. “Joel?”

 

Joel looked up from his Hardy Boys. “Yeah?”

 

“I spent an extra 9 dollars on a free night. And guess what it is? September 5.”

 

“When the Cubs play in the final of the series, against the Yankees?”

 

Liam nodded. “And I thought we could watch together. So would you—“

 

“Yes!” said Joel. They high-fived. Liam felt very excited.

 

Chapter 8.

 

Soon it was the free night. Joel had gotten Liam some M&Ms, and some popcorn for himself. The two of them sat down and Joel turned the channel to baseball.

 

The Yankee were up first. Alex Rodriguez was first up to bat. He hit the ball and ran to first, to second, to third, and home He had hit a HOME RUN!! “1-0 Yankees,” the scoreboard read, and Joel groaned.

 

“Darnit,” Joel began, but then Henry barged in.

 

“Hi! May I join you?”

 

Joel shook his head. “Sorry, but there’s no room on the sofa.”

 

“That’s okay, I’ll just get a another seat!” He climbed onto the TV, his legs blocking the screen.

 

“Henry, get down at once!” demanded Joel.  

 

“No way,” he sneered, sticking out his tongue. Liam and Joel exchanged a glance.

 

“Should we knock the TV down?” asked Liam.

 

“No. Henry will be off but we’ll probably break the TV.”

 

An hour later the boys still hadn’t gotten Henry off the TV. Joel said, “Henry, if you get off, I’ll give you some cookies from my dinner. Deal?”

 

“Deal,” Henry said and got off just as the TV said, “The Cubs win the Series!” The boys were happy the Cubs had won, but were angry that Henry had made them miss the whole game. They were so mad they could have spit.

 

Chapter 9.

The next day while the boys were cleaning the living room, they talked about how to teach Henry a lesson. Joel said, “We could put bugs in his bed.”

 

“We don’t have time,” said Liam. “Unless you want to do it yourself.”

 

“How about we play a rock’n’roll CD in his room and wake him up?”

 

Joel shook his head. “He hates sleeping. He’ll appreciate it. I know! Have you ever watched ‘Paddington’?”

 

“Once. My friend, Jordan, invited friends to watch it for his birthday.”

 

“You know how he causes a flood? Well, Henry was nervous since watching that somebody would do that in our house. We’ll do it when everyone’s asleep. You turn on the kitchen sink, and downstairs bathroom sink. I’ll turn on the upstairs bathroom sink and the tub.”

 

Liam snickered. “Good idea!”

 

That night they got to work. They also flushed the toilets so many times that they went through downstairs. Soon the water was a foot deep. They put on their swimsuits for safety. Suddenly, Liam saw the bed carrying Henry down the stairs.

 

“AUGH!” he yelled as he fell off. Then he saw the water. “A flood!” he yelled, causing his parents to wake up to ¼ of their bed. By the time they realized what had happened, the water was up to Mr. and Mrs. Jackson’s hips and several pieces of furniture had moved. The tub was in Mr. Jackson’s office, the fridge was in the living room, the upstairs toilet was blocking the stairs, the oven was in the middle of the hallway, the mirror in Mrs. Jackson’s fashion studio was in the mudroom, Henry’s shoes were in the basement, the sofa was in Joel’s bedroom, and Henry’s bed was next to the TV.

 

“Who did this?!” screeched Mrs. Jackson. Liam and Joel exchanged a sheepish glance. “Did you do this, boys?!” shouted Mr. Jackson.

 

“Er…yeah,” both boys stammered.

 

“I’m going to give you both a punishment!” said Mrs. Jackson. “Joel, you will do Liam’s chores.”

 

“Fine,” said Joel.

 

“And Liam, you will be kicked out of the house…and into the sky.”

 

“What do you mean?” Liam asked.

 

“Just what I said,” she snapped.

 

But Liam was still puzzled.

 

Chapter 10.

 

By the next day, the house was back to normal. But the Jacksons were still angry. The next day, Mr. Jackson bought a bunch of balloons. He put 50 aquamarine balloons on Liam’s left leg. 50 chartreuse balloons on his right. 50 magenta on his left arm, and 50 purple on his right. Suddenly, he started floating into the air. The rest of the family came out. “See you around,” sneered Henry. “Or not!”

 

“Liam!” screamed Joel. He jumped up but Liam was too high to reach him. He was soon in the clouds. Tears were pouring from his eyes. So many terrible things had happened.

 

His dad had lost his job! Liam was working for a family that treated him like hell. Henry had spoiled his only free night. And now he was in the sky and would probably die soon.

 

He was hit by three airplanes which burst 150 balloons and he landed on the ground with an “Oof,” in Indiana, in a backyard.

 

A woman came out and sat beneath a tree. Suddenly she saw Liam. “Hello?” she said, “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Liam Cross,” he replied. “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Samantha Matthews,” the woman said. Suddenly she got stern. “What are you doing in my yard??”

 

Liam told her everything — his dad losing his job, getting sent to work at the Jacksons, how abusive they were except Joel, Henry spoiling Liam’s free night, flooding the house, and being sent into the sky by a bunch of balloons.

 

Samantha was sympathetic. “How about you live with me instead?” she offered. “I’ve wanted a son since my son got married.”

 

“I’ll have to think about it,” said Liam.

 

Chapter 11.

 

Liam thought about it for a long time. If he lived with Samantha, he’d at least be escaping the Jacksons. On the other hand, the reason he worked there was to make money for his family: what if the Cross’s lost their home? The very thought of what would happen next was too terrible. Liam would rather live with Samantha but he knew what he had to do. “I’d rather live with you, but I’m gonna go back to the Jacksons for my family’s sake.”

 

She smiled. “That’s very kind of you,” she said. “You should spend the night and we’ll take the train tomorrow to Chicago. Okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

That night, Samantha gave Liam a sandwich, carrots, and a hot dog for dinner. Then they played checkers. Liam won five rounds and Samantha won seven. She had him sleep on a comfy sofa with a blanket. It felt like heaven compared to his bed with the Jacksons. Then he had waffles for breakfast, and then they were off on the train.

 

“You know, your name sounds familiar,” Liam remarked.

 

“Oh yeah, I know your mom, Nina Cross. We’ve been pen pals since we were ten. She told me about you and your sister, Maya.”

 

Liam said, “In your next letter, please don’t tell Mom and Dad about the Jacksons.”

 

“I won’t.” Samantha gave Liam a hug.

 

They reached Chicago. “Bye, Samantha,” said Liam.

 

“Bye, dear!”

 

Liam ran to the Jacksons’ house and rang the doorbell. Joel answered. “Liam!” he yelled. “You came back.”

 

“Hi, Joel,” said Liam. The rest of the Jacksons came, looking horrified to see him.

 

“Well…” stammered Mrs. Jackson. “Go sweep the floor!”

 

Liam went to work. Back to doing awful chores.

 

That evening, Joel came in. “Good night, Liam,” he said.

 

“Good night, Joel!”

 

Joel left the room and Liam smiled for a minute. Things will get better, he told himself. And he fell asleep.

The Tree

The tree has been behind the house far as long as I could remember. When I asked my parents about it they said it has been there since we have moved in when I was five. We decided to ask about it to a dendrologist (because apparently you can study trees as a career). The dendrologist said that they would come over and check it out to see themselves.

We waited a week for the dendrologists to show up. A week that was very nerveracking for me. What can I say, I was curious. I sat down and asked my dad to look up trees. That didn’t help considering I didn’t even know half the things he was talking about. I was five, give me a break. Anyway, I decided to watch TV to solve my problem because I thought Mickey Mouse knew all the answers. I soon found out that was not the case which lead to me running to my room and crying my eyes out. The tree had ruined my childhood.

After the Mickey Mouse incident I decided to just sit down by my window and watch the tree. Analyze it, try to figure it out. All I could understand at my age was that it looked old. The bark was chipped. That was all I could tell. So I sat there each day until finally it was the night before we would figure out it’s age. I wondered what the tree had seen, the secrets it could be hiding. I got so curious I couldn’t fall asleep. So I decided to sleep next to the tree.

I snuck out after I made sure my parents were asleep. With my footie pajamas and Winnie the Pooh blanket I settled down next to the tree and fell into a deep sleep. The tree loomed over me in a protecting way, sheltering me from the things that went crawling in the night.

The next day I woke up to my parents yelling my name. When I opened my eyes I caught the sight of them running to me with frantic looks on their faces. Once they reached me they hugged me very tightly. I didn’t understand, I was just outside.

“Don’t ever do that again, Angel,” Dad said with tears in his eyes. I nodded and looked back at the tree sadly. I had slept well last night with the tree and had hoped to do it again. I guess not.

Later that day the dendrologist came to examine the tree. When he came back in the house he gave us the news.

“I’m guessing the tree is a little over one hundred,” he said. “It’s meeting its end.”

After that I asked my parents what this meant. What was this end? After they exchanged looks Mom looked down at me and picked me up, holding my body to her side.

“Remember when grandpa stopped visiting a few months ago,” Mom said.

“Yeah, he couldn’t afford it,” I said. Of course it came out as foward it but that was what I meant. Mom seemed to understand though and smiled sadly.

“Angel, grandpa had really ended. He stopped living. God put us down here for a purpose. But unfortunately whether we complete it or not we stop living, because of Lucifer, and go to heaven.”

I started to tear up and my lip was trembling. “But I don’t wanna end. I wanna stay here.”

Mom squeezed me tighter against her side. “I know, baby, I know.”

So for the next few hours we sat down and hugged each other, trying to feel comfort. Dad came down and sat with us, hugging us both tightly. It remained silent.

When night came I slipped out of my parents arms and walked to the back door. I glanced back at them, thinking how I didn’t want them to end. Then I opened the door and ran outside. When I reached the tree I opened my arms and hugged it with all my might.

I don’t want you to end, I thought. Then I pulled myself together and walked back inside to my parents.

…………………………………………

As the years went by I continued my nightly visits to the tree despite my parents’ warning. For some reason when I’m with it I feel better. I started to bring out sketch paper to draw different versions of the tree. When I return to my room I post it on the wall with my many other, similar but different, pictures of the tree.

When I turned eleven I decided I would become a dendrologist. The tree made me interested in plants and when I was old enough I pushed for my mom and dad to plant a garden in the backyard. We planted lilies, petunias, dandelions, roses and more. Mom and dad were out most of the time so I was the sole caretaker of the plants. Everyday after I watered my plants I brought my sketchbook and started to draw anything my eyes sought out. One time in the summer, when the plants first started to bloom, I drew the tree looming over the plants protecting them them from the overbearing sun just like it protected me when I was five. When I posted the picture on my wall I smiled. The tree wasn’t alone anymore.

…………………………………………

When I turned sixteen I decided to bring my best friend, Charlie, to see the tree for the first time. That was considered a big step for me because I’ve never brought anyone there before, the garden was my safe haven. Ever since I started this garden it had evolved into something more beautiful. There was a fountain in the middle of the backyard and a pathway that lead to the middle of the flowers. The pathway ends in front of the tree. The colors of the flowers helped brighten everything up. I couldn’t be more proud.

Of course I was scared out of my mind. What if she didn’t appreciate it as much as I did. What if she accidently killed some of the newborns? Bad scenarios flashed into my head which didn’t ease my nerves. I was going to tell her to turn back until I realized we were already at my house. Charlie was oozing a positive aura. She really wanted to see my garden ever since I told her about it four years ago. I was too protective at the time but I was feeling so happy today I thought, why not.

I sighed to myself. I should just get this over with. Charlie deserved to see it after six years of friendship. With that thought, I opened the gate to the backyard of my house and reluctantly lead my eager friend into my garden. When it came in sight my friend froze. I turned around confused at her actions, until I saw the look of awe on her face. Slowly she started to walk down the trail taking in everything her eyes saw. Then she laughed, breaking the tense silence that had settled.

“This is amazing, Angela!” she yelled. I started to relax. I was worried over nothing. Charlie ran over to the tree and stood in front of it. “How old is it?” she prompted.

“A bit over 100, we aren’t exactly sure,” I replied and watched as Charlie circled the tree. “I guess it’s about 130 this year. Closing in on it’s end.”

“Oh,” Charlie said, looking a little sad. The she brightened again. “Bet I can beat you to the top of this tree.” And with that she was off.

I quickly overtook her considering I knew the tree like the back of my hand. After the race we just sat there and looked on as the sun started to set. I noticed Charlie was asleep on the tree branch and smiled to myself feeling content and happy that I made the decision to bring her here. As I continued to look at her an idea hit me. I quickly headed down from the tree and ran into the house. When I returned I had my sketching supplies in my hands. I set them down and got to work. It took me thirty minutes before I was finished. A picture of Charlie in the tree surrounded by colorful flowers in the sunset.

I smiled to myself. This was going on my wall.

……………………………………………………..

“What?!” I shouted. My voice echoed in my parents room. I was 22 yet I still came to my parents house to tend to the garden. It just mattered too much to me. I was studying Botany in college and it is going well. I’ve made more friends with people who love plants as much as I do. Things were going well until I heard the news.

Mom and Dad were selling the house. Which meant they were selling the garden and all the good memories in here. Pictures don’t matter, they’re not as good as the real thing. The garden with so many colors and smells and feelings will never be the same with other people taking care of it because they won’t care as much as I do. All the plants would die.

“How could you do this?!” I exclaimed.

“I knew how hard this would be for her,” Dad muttered to Mom. “Angel, we need a change of scenery. The house is getting old along with us. It’s time.”

“What about the garden?” I said. My parents exchanged looks. “What if the people moving in won’t take care of it well enough? It’ll die.”

“Then we’ll make sure the buyers are willing to take care of it,” Mom said.

I paced around the room running my hands through my red hair. This is not happening this is not happening this is not happening. After all these years I assumed I would always be with my garden. This crushed my dreams. There has to be a way out of this. Suddenly an idea hit me.

I turned around quickly, startling my parents. “I could buy the house.”

They blinked at me. They had unsure looks on their faces. “Angel, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” I countered.

“Because we don’t feel comfortable taking your money while you’re still in college,” Mom replied.

“Please! If you know me at all you know how much this garden means to me.” I could see I was getting to them. “And you know I work hard enough to pay the bills.”

There was a moment of silence. I started to get nervous. Please say yes.

“All right,” Mom said reluctantly. “But you have to be sure.”

“I’m positive,” I said excitedly. I won’t be parted from my tree. Not now.

……………………………………….

I watched as they cut the tree down. Remembering all the times we had together and how I tended to it. I found out it was close to death when I saw it start to bend today. I was heartbroken. I cried so hard that I collapsed near the dying tree. I don’t want you to end, I thought. That night I went into the house and took a blanket and slept next to the tree for the first time in over a decade. The last night the tree would have and it protected me one last time from the creatures in lurking in the dark.

When the tree finally came down I felt something break on the inside. Like when Mom and Dad died. But just like then I walked slowly toward the tree, bent down and kissed it. I’ll remember you, I thought and with that I sat in the middle of the garden. My little safe haven that lost its protector.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

A month later a new tree began to grow.

HER

I walked down the hallway. I don’t know where she is. We were in an accident. They took her here. I don’t know where she is. I’m confused. I need to look through every room. I need to find her. She has to be here. I feel like my head is full of water. I feel my body dropping, I hit the ground.

I hurt. I hurt everywhere, I hear people around me talking, whispering. I think they are talking about me.

“We cannot save him,” I hear one of them say.

I am not dead, I know. I need them to know that.

I try to tell them but they clearly hear nothing. I don’t know what to do. I need to know what to do. I first need to find her, before I’m dead.

 

“Alright, everyone up! We have a real patient. He is in a coma, no name, we found him three weeks ago at a scene of a car crash. He was then taken to the closest hospital, where he got up from his bed, walked down the hall, and collapsed. He was given to us and now he is in a coma.”

 

I hear them talking about me. I see them too but they don’t know I can see them nor do they know I can hear them. I need to know where she is, I need to wake up. I don’t want to sleep, I have been asleep for too long now. I need to find her, I don’t remember her name but I know that we were close. I watch them leave the room. Then a pretty female doctor comes in. She sits down next to me. It smells funny in here, like a doctor’s office. I don’t like it here. I look around past the woman in scrubs. I look at the machines, different from any I have ever seen at a normal hospital or doctor’s office. She looks around, then starts to talk.

 

“I know you don’t know who we are, and we don’t know who you are. But we need to find out what happened to you. I’m going to talk to you as if you are awake — did you know that some patients in comas can hear people around them, and if their eyelids are open they can see? So would it be alright if i opened your eyelids?” She starts to put something into the IV.

 

I had been able to see this whole time, it was like I was frozen, unable to talk and unable to wake up.

 

“Alright, now you can see, how are you today? I’m going to take some blood. I will be right back.”

 

She seemed nice, but I need to find her, I try to get up out of bed, but I can’t. I get light headed. I hear a long flat “eeeeee,” like in the movies when someone dies in a hospital. Then, all I see is blackness and all I can hear is the “eeeeee.” I can’t smell anything. I know I’m not dead yet, but I need to find her, she has to know where I am. I feel a sharp stabbing pain in my chest, then everything goes black, more dark than before, I stop thinking and feel like I’m stuck in a dark black room with no one. Then I see her, she is standing in the dark looking around. I yell at her but she doesn’t hear me. I smell her perfume — she smells like candy, sugar sweet. Just then, I feel something pulling me back, away from her. I feel people touching me, poking me with needles. Then I see them, I am out of the darkness. I see the woman from before. They are bringing me back to life, I hope. I forget about them and I see her, I see the girl. She is in front of my bed, watching them work on me.

 

She smiles and says, “You have to live, I am here waiting for you.”

 

Then she disappears. I try to imagine who she is. They stop poking and touching me, they all leave but the woman from before, the woman in scrubs. She stays and starts stitching, she works the needle through my skin and back out, in and out, in and out, and again.

 

“Well, we helped your heart out a little bit, you have to keep trying to come back to us. We need you here. You are so brave, come back to us.”

 

She doesn’t know me, but she stays with me for hours. She has knitting needles, unlike the one she was using on my chest earlier. She talks about her family, her pets, and her life, she talks about her whole life. She says that she is making me a sweater. I don’t know why she is doing this, she doesn’t know me. I remember everything about my life before, but the one thing I cannot remember is my name or her name. The female doctor tells me her name is Hannah. She tells me that I have been here for a whole month and that they are trying to find my family. She says she wants to give me a name, just something so that she doesn’t have to call me “ John Doe.” She says that that’s too plain and boring. She tells me that she doesn’t mind sitting with me all night. I stop listening to her and I think about the girl from before. “Her.” I need to find her, before I get too attached with the woman who was stitching my chest up, I need to find “the one.”

Prologue of the Hunters

Prologue

The small clicks of the shapeshifter’s eyes as they turned silver was what alerted the hunter to a quickly approaching creature. The older man raised his silver blade in one hand, silver bulleted gun in the other threateningly.

“You come any closer, I’m going to attack!” snarled the male.

The moonlight that had managed to filter in through thick clouds reflected off the sharp dagger clasped in the huntsman’s hands. He let out a sneer, his breath reeking of alcohol. He took a staggering step forward, unsteady on his feet, as no hunter should be. In his age, the man should have been dead, but he had been lucky, returning from the underworld on multiple occasions to keep on with his never ending thirst for murder.

 

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” he cackled, the short song sounding creepy with his tone.

“I would rather not, knowing my death is in your hands,” called the creature.

A wicked smile grew on the hunter’s face. He took slow, steady steps towards the voice, which had called out from the dark patch of woodland that lay next to the highway, where the old man’s dirty 1998 Honda was parked. He knew the game he was playing was a dangerous one. Shapeshifters could be anything. Anyone. One good move on the shape shifter’s part would mean mortal danger for the hunter.

 

The hunter instantly thought of his deceased wife, who had been killed on the hunt. He shook his head. He couldn’t let the shapeshifter know he had a weakness. It could morph into his wife, and easily make him drop his guard.

The hunter let out a growl, poising his weapons. Yes, the hunter may have been intoxicated, but he had been in his game for so long his natural instincts were set to observe and kill. As in, observe the supernatural creature, kill it quickly.

“Who are you coming out as?” asked the cocky hunter.

The shapeshifter’s silver eyes glinted in the shadows. “Excuse me?”

“Who will you transform your ugly self to, so I’ll surrender?”

The shapeshifter smirked, his lips revealing an ugly set of teeth.

“Perhaps your dad. Brother? Or I can do one better. Your poor, dead wife.”  

The hunter let out a croak. He turned, backing his way to the forest on the other side of the road. The shifter, seeing his turn of direction, quietly lept forward, pinning the old man to the ground. He snatched the blade and gun, tossing them aside. The hunter’s dark eyes were wide with fear.

“No! I’m sorry!” He screamed, thrashing in the shifter’s hold.

The shifter grinned at the power he now possessed over this man. He flashed an array of sharp teeth, which he had received in his shift to another form.

 

“Are you still going to kill me? With that gun and knife that are… Oh wait!”

He let out a cackle, nodding to the weapons the hunter had earlier possessed. “They’re over there!”

The shapeshifter leaned down, eyes flitting to silver, then back to the dark blue of his body. A soft clicking sound echoed through the air as his eyes changed. The shifted sunk its razor sharp teeth in the man’s neck, feeling the soft tissue break open.

The pursuer screamed in agony, writhing in pain. The teeth that were in the shifters mouth currently, were sharp, and tore through the man’s flesh easily.

“No!” screamed the man.

“No! Please! I’m sor—” His screams were silenced as the shape shifter carelessly grabbed a knife from his own belt, stabbing the hunter in chest.

Blood soaked the hunter’s ripped shirt. He gurgled as foam spilled from his lips. He shuddered under the shifter, before his breathing stopped and his movements slowed to a standstill.

 

Standing, the supernatural creature wiped its hands delicately on a blood stained handkerchief. He sighed, placing it back in the pocket of his pants before glancing around. He looked around the clearing. If anyone had strayed from the road and witnessed the killing, the shifter would easily adapt to their form, killing them too. More swiftly than the last. Shedding the skin and hair of his previous form, the shape shifter morphed to the hunter he had just killed, disappearing into the woods without the slightest quiver of the underbrush or the swishing of the trees.

Kate at the Lake

I dipped my feet in the water. It was cold and unrefreshing, like dipping my feet into a cold ice bucket. I was sitting on a dock jutting out of the shore and into the lake. Thick muck lined the dock, another way the lake was gross. The lake was almost entirely undeveloped, the only houses were my aunt’s, whose dock I was on, and another house on the other side of the lake, the good side, the side that didn’t have as much muck. That house belonged to the millionaire who resided on the lake, and had had all the other houses in various states of decomposition demolished to make a more “authentic” view. My aunt was the only neighbor to petition it, so her house stayed.

 

A bit further down the lake, a heron landed on a log. The first time I had seen one was only a few days ago, when I first came to this dump. There is almost no wildlife in the thick, polluted city I came from. The dock gave a creak when I moved to a different position. It, like all the other things my aunt owned, was in desperate need of repair.

 

I sighed, and heaved myself up. I walked down the dock, which protested as I did so, and stepped onto solid land. A little ways from the dock, and past a few scrawny trees (one of which supported a hammock that would surely break if I even tried to sit on it) was the house. The house was painted a pale shade of pink, the paint chipping away in places, revealing the dull layer beneath it. Beside the house was the ruins of an outhouse, that my aunt hadn’t even bothered to get rid of. Money was tight here, so she basically disregarded anything that might need money to fix. On the gravel driveway leading to the street (if it could even be called a street) there was an old stationwagon she only uses probably once or twice a year.

 

I walked up to the house, and opened the screen door inside. It screeched behind me. The inside looked like everything there could be sold at an auction. The old TV that didn’t play in color and had seven channels, the ancient kitchen equipment, and the photographs that you couldn’t really tell what they were. “Aunt Shelly! Where are you, you ancient hag!” She didn’t mind insults. I tried again, no response. “That old women probably died,” I muttered under my breath. I loudly walked to her bedroom, half expecting her to be dead in her bed. Then, at least I could go back home to where I belonged. Home, to the filthy streets and overcrowdedness and where you had to be tough to make it past day one.

 

I swung open the door to her bedroom, making an extra loud bang as it collided with the wall. I marched to her bed, and pulled back the covers. But she was not there. That was surprising. She almost never left her bed, and if she did then only to go to the bathroom. “Aunt Shelly! I was wondering if you would like to do something that is not sitting around and doing nothing, you weirdo!” No response. Oh well, I guess I could watch some TV. I marched over to the TV, with its long antenna. After a bit of looking, I found the remote. It was static for a while, then changed to something in black and white. The food channel. Of course, the only channel that worked today was the food channel. I shut it off in disgust. I liked cooking about as much as I liked being fed to cobras. That reminded me, it was about time for lunch. After a few seconds of intense debate, I decided to see what she had in the way of food. So far, Aunt Shelly had fed me only leftovers, none of which were anything I liked. I swung open the door, but the only things she had were two raw eggs. I slammed the door and yelled as hard as I could, “Aunt Shelly! Come here right now or else…or else…just come here, ok!? I’m really hungry!” That should get her to come. I groaned loudly and walked to the door, slamming it over and over, making enough noise for someone to hear on the other side of the lake. Of course, the only people there would be the millionaire and his two stuck-up kids.

 

I went back to the fridge, and saw something I hadn’t seen there before. It was a note. It was written in big unstable handwriting, like whoever wrote it’s hand was shaking. It read:

 

I’m not feeling so well, so I decided to go down the street to go to the doctor. The car has a flat tire so I’m going there on foot. If you want you can heat something up for lunch. Be back soon,

 

Shelly

 

That was truly strange. She would never get there on foot. She could barely walk to the dock, much less go down the street. Even though I hated her, I decided to go after her. Just to make sure that weirdo was ok. Just this one time. I walked down the driveway, past the station wagon. Sure enough, several of the wheels were deflated. No wonder when she had picked me up a few days ago it had felt weird. The street was entirely wooded, the only house on the street was my aunt’s. There were more houses, before the stupid millionaire decided to kick everyone out. I looked both ways, and to the right I saw some commotion. I could see several police cars, an ambulance, and lots of people. I jogged over there, but a burly policeman stopped me. “Sorry, but you can’t come any further. We have been investigating a, well, death here.”

 

“Why? Whose? It couldn’t be my… No, no, it can’t be.” I tried to push past him, but a large arm held me back.

 

“Go back home, kid. The victim was very elderly, anyway.” I slipped away from him, and with one look in that direction, ran back to the house.

 

I slammed the door on its rusty hinges, and rushed to the wall-mounted phone. I was about to reach for the numbers of someone — anyone when I realized that this was not a new phone. It was one of those old spinning phones. How do you work these things? After a few spins, I gave up trying. Maybe that person in the street was not her, as I had suspected. Maybe there is no need to call the cops. Since when did I care about her so much, anyway? She was just a weird, old lady who I never even heard of until only a few days ago. I could feel my self-consciousness at work. But still, she was my aunt.

 

I walked over to the shed to clear my mind. The shed was in the back, near the woods. She kept lots of junk in there, from pool toys to fishing rods. The one thing that didn’t stink here was fishing. The fish were abundant here, so it made for great fishing. I took one of the poles, and made my way over to the dock. Just as I was about to cast my string, I was interrupted by some commotion on the other side of the lake. It looked like the millionaire was water skiing. I saw his sleek silver speedboat rush along the other side, pulling someone on water skis. It must be his children. They were always about on the lake. For a moment, I felt a stream of anger. Why do they get to do that, and I have to be stuck on this *** dock?! It isn’t fair!

 

I sighed as the anger left my body. Fishing wasn’t working today. I had been waiting for a while, and didn’t feel even the slightest tug. I stood up, and the dock gave way. I was plunged into icy cold water. So cold, it felt like there were a thousand tiny knives piercing my body. I lost hold of the pole, and it sunk into the endless gunk on the bottom. No way was I going after that. I cursed under my breath, and swam to the rocks lining the shore. How do the kids stand this? I had left a gaping body-shaped hole in the dock. That would be hard to fix. I looked over, and the heron from before was still perched on the log, dripping into the water. It gave me a funny look. “What are you looking at?” I picked up a rock from the sediment and threw it at the bird. It flew off. I pulled myself up onto the rocks, and lay on my back, dripping cold water, staring at the white puffy clouds barely visible over the canopy of trees. In the distance, the clouds were turning grey. A storm was brewing.

 

The clouds were transforming fast to grey. I heard the motorboat go in, and the noise silenced. I should go in, but I felt compelled to stay here. I still lay down on my back. I stayed until it was obvious that I should go, when sheets of rain was pouring down, and threatening rumbles of thunder were heard. I stood up, and slowly made my way to the house. But before I went inside, I decided to see what had happened by the street. I made my way down the driveway, struggling to see in the heavy downpour. The dirt street was so muddy it wasn’t even really walkable. All the cars had left, and there was nobody there. I sighed and made my way back. I went inside, the rust-covered screen door protesting. I was even wetter, thanks to the rain. Aunt Shelly didn’t mind me trailing mud in the house, so I walked in. My T-shirt and jeans were all muddy, and my wild hair had incorporated brown mud into the usually dirty blonde.

 

I stomped over to a chair across from the tv and just sat there, bored. I went to my room, across from Shelly’s room. It was small, with a faded blue sheet over the springy bed. I lay down on it, gazing up at the cracked ceiling. My bags were strewn all over. When she picked me up, she had trouble fitting everything in the car. I remember that day clearly. I had come on a plane, all the way from my city. My parents had been thought unsuitable to raise me. It was kind of true. My dad has been in prison, ever since he committed a crime before I was even born. I didn’t even know where he was, or what he did; my Mom stayed away from that subject. And my Mom, left alone, had to juggle three jobs in order to keep a roof over our heads. And when work was slow, sometimes we didn’t have a roof over our heads. College was out of the question. So I was sent here, to my only relative, in hopes that she could clear me of my life in the city. They might of been right about my parents being unsuitable, but sending me here was not suitable.

 

I awoke to the sound of banging at the door. I gazed out of the window. The rain had stopped, and the ground had that quality of being moist after it had just rained. I must have dozed off. The banging stopped, then there was more knocking. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, then yelled “Coming!” as I stomped over to the door. Outside was the same burly policeman who had held me back before. He towered over me, a giant compared to me. He cleared his throat, and said, “We need to talk.”

 

I ushered him inside, and he sat down in the same chair I had sat on. It was all muddy, but hopefully he wouldn’t notice. I sat down on the ages-old sofa beside it. “So,” I ventured.

 

He raised one eyebrow, unimpressed by me and my mud-caked clothes. He cleared his throat again, and said, “Miss Figelhimer, I think we have some things to discuss.” I was too nervous to ask what those things were, so I just nodded.

 

“Earlier today, there was an unfortunate event regarding your aunt.” I knew what was coming. “She apparently was trying to reach a medical facility when she collapsed. She had apparently been suffering heart problems, and was very elderly. I’m very sorry.”

 

He didn’t look sorry. He looked smug and cold. All the rage I had felt seemed to erupt at that time. She was dead. And for some strange reason, I was sad. I was sad not just for her but that with no other relatives, I would have to face the army of social workers I had so narrowly avoided by coming here. I would never see my mom again and be condemned to foster homes.

 

The policeman went home that day with a broken nose and a sprained ankle. I guess all that anger just had to go someplace. I, on the other hand wasn’t doing so well either. Right after I had my encounter with the policeman, I had fled the house. There were not really any places for me to go, so I had just went along the side of the lake. I had found refuge in an overturned rowboat a ways down from the house. I was starving. Never before had I been so hungry. My clothes smelled of mud. I curled up in a ball under the boat. The sky was beginning to darken. Over on the other side, I saw bright lights shining like headlights, and loud music. The millionaire must be having a party. One that I was not invited to. Why would I be? I crawled out of the boat. Beside me, the same heron was staring at me from a log. “Get lost!” I yelled, but then realized I should not have. I didn’t really want to be caught. It didn’t budge. It stared at me with that same dumb stare. With any luck, I would be having heron for dinner tonight. I threw a rock at it. It flew away.

 

I stood up. The boat was near the edge of a clearing, one that might have contained a house at one point, the lake only a few yards away. The boat was blue with a black bottom, and two oars hanging limply from the pegs. I stood up, but then with a sharp pang of hunger, sat down. I had not eaten since last breakfast. I was kind of out of options. I felt tears coming, but quickly brushed them aside. I lay down in the boat, staring up at the purple-streaked sky above me through a hole in the boat. The clouds were highlighted with evening sunlight, but before I knew it, the gleam disappeared and the sun went down, disappearing over the rounded hills in the background. The night sounds were coming on, and somewhere in the trees behind me I heard the soft sounds of a owl. I tried to close my eyes, but the anxiety and hunger was keeping me awake. I think I did eventually fall asleep, but most of the night was just spent drawing patterns in the sand in the boat and reflecting on the troubles of my life.

 

I was lying in the sand face down when the first streams of sunlight filtered through the hole in the center of the boat. I let out a small whimper. I stood up, temporarily forgetting that there was a boat over my head and CRASH! The boat flipped over from the impact of my head, which throbbed painfully. I stumbled out of the boat. Then I saw something I didn’t see before. At the head of the boat, there was a small door. It was so dark last night that I hadn’t noticed it before. Yes! I went over to it. Being so excited, I somehow found the strength to stand up. I went over to the door, and stuck my hand in. But the only things in there were a few twigs. Nothing. There was nothing. I felt my face fall with disappointment. I sighed. It was time to move on. I took one last glance at the boat, and walked towards the woods, away from my now late aunt’s house.

 

Almost immediately the strength I had found when discovering the door left me. I fell down face first into a moss bed. I felt tears coming, and this time I didn’t try and stop them. I moaned loudly. I was closer now to the millionaire’s house now. The party he had last night was still going strong. I still heard loud music, and far-away laughter. I lifted my head up, and the bushes in front of me came into focus. Was that what I thought it was? It was! I gruelingly lifted myself to my feet. The bush was a raspberry bush, the raspberries red and plump and ripe. The thorns covered the branches like a red prickly blanket. I shoved my hand at it, getting it full of thorns in the process, but I was too elated to care. I shoved the berries one after another into my mouth, reviving my hunger to last me a bit longer. I also tried to carry some in my dirty shirt for later. My hands felt like they were full of nettles, and I was a bit unhappy that I hadn’t thought to be more careful.

 

Being alone like this reminded me of my life in the city. Being a single mother, my mom oftentimes didn’t have very much time for me, so I was left to myself. It was worst when we were in the shelter. We didn’t go there very often, and when we did only for a few weeks at a time. When we were not there, we were in various apartments, each cheaper than the last. The shelter was terrible. It was very loud, so when I was there I often fell behind on my schoolwork. It was one of those times when we were in the shelter when the social services took me away, as they did my brother. He was much younger than me, and they put him in foster homes when he was just a baby. I was six. They were going to take me away too, but I proved too difficult to separate.

 

With my newfound nourishment, I was able to go on. I passed more clearings where I could only assume houses had been. By this time I was able to see my aunt’s house around the bend of the lake. I was also getting closer to the millionaire’s house. His house had three stories, and was built of logs, creating a rustic look. Despite the lake, he had a swimming pool, too. I guess it was for when the lake was too cold to swim in. He had a marina with his speedboat and some kayaks. I had just thought as him  “the millionaire” but his actual name was Carlos something, I couldn’t remember his last name. He was retired, but he was a movie actor. I had never seen any of his movies, but he was always winning more awards. He was the kind of person who liked comparing himself to other people just to see how much better he was. There was no way I was asking him for help.

 

Along the way, I had eaten all the berries I had saved in my shirt. I was back to being hungry. I had drank from the lake, even though it wasn’t very clean. But at least it was something. It was about midday, the hot sun scorching me from above as I hobbled along the shore. Too hot…too hungry. I could only seem to think about the bad things right now. I was hobbling along a narrow stretch of sand bordered by dense forests. I hardly noticed the fact that I was walking in plain view.

 

Anybody could see me now. Before I had been mostly walking in the woods, so that it would be harder to spot me, but I guess I forgot about that rule. Suddenly, I heard a voice cut through the dense silence like a dagger. “Stop!” it said. It must be the police. They must have caught up with me. I dashed into the woods, but then I felt a hunger so strong that I doubled over, and fell to the ground. I heard footsteps, getting closer. Closer. More yelling. The world was spinning into darkness as I slipped into unconsciousness.

 

I woke up in the backseat of a police car. The separator was in, so all I could see was the blurry outline of a officer. The window was tinted, but I could see a few officers talking. One of them was the same officer that had come to my house. He was walking on a brace, and a bandage was on his nose. He shot me a look that could kill. However, I didn’t feel even the slightest bit of remorse. The car was parked. The officer suddenly noticed I was up, and quickly got out. I tugged on the door, and to my surprise, it opened. I got out. All heads turned in my direction. I hated every last one of them. Apparently, they were not too fond of me either. The broken nosed officer cleared his throat, and said, “I think you can go home now.”

 

“Wh – what do you mean?” I stammered. No place was home.

 

“You can go back to your mother.”

 

The next two hours were a blur. I remembered going back to the house, and hastily packing up my bags. I took one last look around. Only yesterday, I had hated this place. Now, for some strange reason, I took a liking to it. I still didn’t know why I had to leave it. The policeman hadn’t really given very many details. Why could I go back now? I went outside, bags in the driveway, and sat on the dock, right behind the hole where I had fallen in. I dipped my feet in the water. Strangely, I liked it. I took one last look around, the woods, the millionaire’s house, even my aunt’s own old house. I would miss this place.

 

The heron was still on the log, still watching me. I smiled at it, and it flew away. I went back to the driveway, where my bags were. Past the car, with it’s sagging tires. The nice social worker (one of the few that I had liked) with brown hair tied up in a bun was waiting for me. To drive me to the airport, to fly to the city. I got in the car. It was a shiny black Volvo. I got into the shotgun seat, and we drove off. As we drove she asked in her nice voice, “Do you know why you are going back?”

 

“No, not really,” I said.

 

“Well, this might come as a shock to you, but your Mom can support you now.”

 

“What- what do you mean?” I said, cautiously.

 

“She won the lottery.” I froze. “We think it is safe for you to go home now,” she said.

 

“How much did she win?” I said, barely holding in my excitement.

 

“Seven million dollars,” she simply said.

 

The airport was a small building, with only a few flights coming in a week. The inside was pretty nice, though. The social worker waved goodbye at the stairs to the plane, and I boarded alone. It was a nice day, with a virtually cloudless sky.  


The airplane was the biggest one leaving that week, and I sat down next to a window. I had been given clean clothes and a shower (a real luxury for someone who usually only showers once every two weeks) and I honestly felt great. I didn’t hear the flight attendant shout safety instructions over the deafening roar of the engines. I was too engulfed in my own happiness to even care. I was still fascinated about airplanes, since when I went here was the only time I had ever gone on one. I was glued to the window in fascination as the plane lifted into the endless blue above.

 

I think I fell asleep on the plane, because when I woke up the seat belt sign was on and the ground was coming closer. The sky was a darker shade of blue, and in the distance below I could see the tall buildings and dirty streets I called home. Somewhere down there was my mother. I could barely imagine how she was living now, even though we had only been separated for less than a week. She was even richer than the millionaire! We would never have to go to the shelter again.

 

The plane landed with a bumpy shove. I was glad I had my seatbelt on, or else I would have been propelled into the seat in front of me. The city landscape was nothing like the one we had taken off from. Tall buildings came up from the ground like spikes, and the endless busy bustling on the streets was almost like a welcome home sign.

 

As I got off the plane, I gagged at the thick, polluted city air. I guess breathing fresh air had mixed me up. I confidently strode into the airport. Surely she would be here to welcome me. I felt a pang of worry as I scanned the airport for her.

 

Then I saw her.

The rings around her eyes had gone away a bit, and she looked much better than since I had last seen her. Her hair was tied back in a fancy bun, revealing expensive-looking earrings. Her clothes were plain, however. She yeIled, “Kate!” I ran up to her, and I let tears come. Even though we had only been apart for days, it felt like months. Years. We hugged until everyone left, and we were the only ones there.

 

One Year Later

 

I sat at the newly-repaired dock, preparing to cast my string. A lot had changed since last year. Aunt Shelly put in her will that we would inherit the lake-house, so we began fixing it up. It was decided that we would live there in the summers and in the city for the rest of the time. We made vast improvements on the house. It is barely recognizable now, and it’s splendor almost matches the millionaire’s house. At the city I started a new private school, and made new friends. I didn’t really have any before. The apartment looks great, and my Mom even went back to college to finish her education. My life has changed for the better.

 

Yelp Review

Cerebral Hawk and the Combo are an LA based, indie rock band. With their first album, “Hate People, Love Small Rodents,” they demonstrated their love for simple, guitar based melodies with aggressive percussion. Their breakout song, “High Schoolers Makes Me Nauseous,”  featured the lead singer, Blackout Betty, with her extensive and expressive vocals. Cerebral Hawk and the Combo promise a new album soon, but for now, they are touring Siberia.

 

Lyona R: Over Labor Day weekend, I wanted to go to a fun, low key concert nearby.  Since they were touring in Ohio and I live in the Grand Canyon, it was a pretty short drive. I went with a few of my friends, fellow indie rock enthusiasts like myself. When we arrived, expecting a chill, fun day, we were totally taken aback. The guitarist and drummer had gone out to go get tacos, and the lead singer and the bass player were the only remaining players. The singer was very dramatic and spent forty five minutes crying into the mic. She thought that they had left forever, since apparently both the guitarist and drummer hated tacos. The bassist was very awkward and tried to get the crowd revved up and started playing some music, but the singer pushed him off the stage. When the guitarist and drummer came back with coffees, the singer was so moved, she threw herself at them, and they dropped their coffees, which broke the amps and nearly electrocuted everyone. Needless to say, I had a terrible time. One star, because the singer had cool hair.

 

Krazy Kyle: I love Cerebral Hawk and the Combo! They are so good! I have been to every concert, except the one in Ohio, because I live in Michigan, and that’s much too far. I highly recommend them! The lead singer is very chill, fun, and sometimes dramatic, but what would you expect from a musician? Go see them! They are great! Five stars from this guy!

 

Judy W: I went to go see Cerebral Hawk and the Combo with my children because I thought it was a scientific and educational band. It was not! Do not be fooled! We went to a concert in Boston in May and it was terrible! The leader singer had very unbecoming hair, the bassist was awkward, but the drummer and guitarist were very handsome. Nevertheless, none of them wore enough clothing and their songs were all rock and roll! No thank you! I wish we had gone to see Minions instead, that’s for sure!  Zero stars.

 

Tyrannan Lee: I went to go see Cerebral Hawk and the Combo because I loved their song, “High Schoolers Make Me Nauseous.” So imagine my surprise when I saw the amount of teens there. I hate teenagers! Many near me talked about weed and yolo and I wanted to throw up. The songs were okay, though. Three stars.

Excerpt: CONTROL

Prologue: Correspondence

 

Dearest Rosalind,

 

I have not been in correspondence with you in quite a while. Amid the war and the brutal rebellions of the Mirusians, we somehow have failed to sustain healthy contact with the people that we once trusted. It is funny how we forget about the things we need most in the midst of times like this. Well, I have written this with a proposal in mind.

 

Too many times has Caspian Actus revolted against his own people and turned the minds of the displaced. Too many times has he destroyed the work of his peers and even himself. Too many times have we allowed him to carry on, destruction in his wake. I am ashamed to know how many have died on his conscience, but unfortunately we cannot change the past. I believe that it is time to take action against this terrorist.

 

Ever since the fall of the Actus Liberium age, I am aware that we have not exactly been on the best of terms. I do not yet wish to apologize, but all people need to come together to resolve an issue as extreme as this one. We already have a few countries eager to participate in this plan, and if you choose not to join, we hope your citizens will not be hurt in the midst of it all. As Roman Ferris united our world, he broke the unspoken alliance of the Greater Region. I hope we can ignore our difference of opinions in time to stop this minor setback.

 

What I propose is a plan. A plan to control our people.

 

Please respond soon so that we can discuss my proposition.

              Sincerely,

           August Arcurius, Director of CONTROL

 

Chapter One: Memories

 

We stop, all of us out of breath. The strong torrent of pouring rain outside seems almost calming after everything that has happened. People are sitting up against the cracked stone walls and simply working on breathing normally again. Some are passed out and lie strewn across the wet dirt. A booming noise outside brings me back to my consciousness right before I’m about to fall asleep myself. I  find my way to my feet and stumble across the rock to the side of the cave.

The vines creeping up the walls seem meticulously placed, just like everything else I have ever known. I push at the wall, half expecting it to crumble in my hands. The wall holds its stance. I look behind me at a figure slumped against the wall. He still holds a lantern as if he hadn’t meant to fall asleep. I survey the rest of the room to realize that I’m the only one still awake. Feeling alone, I try to push at the wall again. I turn around. I’m going to need help if I want to move the barrier. Who should I wake?

“Rory?” I call out.

No reply. I don’t dare try again in fear that someone or in fact something other than Rory will hear me.

I run over to one I recognize, Wren. I shake him, his stormy eyes flutter, not quite open, and I’m not sure if he’s completely awake. It was him that ran the farthest all the way from the cave entrance on the tip of the coast just to warn everyone on the way. He stirs, his eyes shifting from consciousness to still. He swings his arm to the side as if he’s attempting to get up, but falls.

“Amerie,” he says between deep breaths. “The police are coming.”

“I know, Wren. And we took care of that,” I respond.

“No, they’ll make it this time…” He starts to drift off to sleep.

What does he mean? They made it every time before. So their final goal still hasn’t been achieved? I try to stop the thoughts as they race through my head. They’ll come soon, and there’s no where to go but through the path that no one here has the strength to run. All I can do is wait to hear what they have to say. I sit, pulling my knees to my chest, rocking as the rain pours outside. Maybe I could make it across the chasm alone. I’m not as tired as the rest. But something other than gravity keeps me grounded. I can’t find the hope to get up. Maybe I have a few minutes to rest before the police arrive.

Just before I’m about to fall asleep, I see a shadow at the front of the cave. I jump to my feet. “Officer Lyre?”

The shadow speaks, “There has been a change of plans. Officer Lyre is dead.”

“Wh-” I begin to say.

“There is no need to speak. We are the higher power. Come a day when  the Mirusians no longer walk about this earth with shame or fear, our reign of freedom and equality will come to a complete close.”

A beaming brilliance shines from somewhere beyond the cave and I shield my eyes, attempting to retain my vision enough to keep my senses, but it is in vain. I can sense cold footsteps edging towards me and I scurry back, only to meet the wall behind me. The floor quivers. I feel an indescribable stinging in my arm and close my eyes. The extreme pain of my arm feels like it’s being ripped open. A figure kneels next to me as if trying to help, but falls to the ground as well. “Rory,” I say.

 

And that’s all that I remember,” I say.

“Well, miss. You certainly have a vivid memory,” the officer says. “We’ll get the citizenship papers set up, and then you’re free to go.”

“It’s that easy? I don’t need to take a test or anything?”

“We don’t exactly need to worry about overpopulation or fraud. You’re the first one to come to our town in a long time.”

While I’m very curious as to what he means, I don’t question it. I ask a more pressing question that has been on my mind. “Any report of new visitors? I doubt I’m the only one from the memory that came here. Any boy named Rory?”

“Miss, you’ve been here for about five minutes. They still have time to come.”

“So, can you answer some of my questions now?” I ask.

“Within reason.”

“Where am I?”
“The Ophelia Grasslands. It’s an area that was formed shortly after the Caelestisian Wars. Most of our small population-”

“Sorry, the Caelestisian Wars?” I interrupt.

He sighs. “The wars over the new stars? No recollection at all? The only way you could have been completely oblivious to those nine wars is if you were in the Undergrounds! They would never let a girl like you in the Undergrounds!”

“And the Undergrounds are…?” I reply.

“The huge cities!” he says gesturing with his hands in disbelief. “The network of beautiful streets built in the old mines after the explosions from World War IV!”

“I-”

“Hold on, I think I have a photo I can show you.”

As the door clicks shut and the officer leaves, I examine my surroundings. The perfectly square room is ornately decorated with maroon velvet curtains and patterns etched onto the walls. Patterns that I cannot place, but I have seen before. A chandelier hangs above my head, swaying gently from the wind of a window left open. And last of all, the paintings. I don’t have very much memory, but I’m pretty sure there has never been this many paintings per square foot of a wall in one room. The images shown in the paintings vary from large cities–that primarily differ from what I assume to be the norm–to barren deserts to tranquil meadows to unrealistically detailed portraits. I stand up and wander the room to get a better look at the strange paintings. I look over at a smaller painting with a little boy on a boat- maybe 25 feet across with a strong sail- with the words Actus Liberium carved on it with silver glittering paints staining the impression. The boy smiles and squints in the sun at the camera. He truly looks happy. On the frame of the painting it reads “Navis Caspian!” I stare at the painting for a long time.

The officer reenters the room. “Ah, that’s Caspian Actus there. He was the one to start the rebellions that got us to where we are now.”

“So, why would you have this picture of him as a little kid?” I respond.

“Oh, people don’t dislike him. We respect and honor him. He brought about the change of the billennium. We’re happy here, in our little…” he trails off, “our little community.”

“It’s still a bit strange that you keep his baby pictures in the police office,” I say.

The officer looks puzzled and laughs dropping the photo he brought in. “In what world did you live in that you have a building for the police to rest in?”

I glance at the picture he dropped. A group of people in white dresses and t-shirts stand at the bottom of a huge cavern decorated with vines sweeping across. Victorian style houses are stacked upon each other, built into the walls. Ladders lead children from one house to the next. At every window are flowers, planted neatly and brighter than any other flower I have ever seen. A cobblestone street lines the ground a hundred feet down. There are people on the street and no cars in sight. Through a tunnel at the end of the street I can see another cavern, with a similar scene. More roads lead in and out of the huge rooms. These streets must go on for miles. But the strangest part is the boy. The point from which the photo is taken is a platform that must be at the very top of the cave. No one looks at the camera. In front of the view is a boy standing. His face looks familiar. He’s not smiling, but he looks proud, regal. He looks almost as if he’s trying to stifle a laugh for the sake of the picture. After staring at the picture I finally speak. “Where are we, then?”

“This is the Observatory,” he replies, pausing before saying, “let’s take a step outside.”

He begins to exit the strange room and I pause and pick up the picture he dropped. Crumpling it in my hand I stuff it in the pocket of the coat I arrived here with. He leads me through a dome shaped door with a shiny silver handle. After I blacked out, I woke up in this “Observatory” and I haven’t seen this strange outside. The light peering from outside the door barely breaches where I stand. I scuffle my feet, hoping to get a better look at what’s outside.

The officer shuts the door suddenly. “Change of plans, the Parade is here.”
“The Parade?” I ask.

He looks distraught. “A mob. Anyone who follows them joins the Parade. There’s no way to get out. If the police try to stop them we just black out. But we never know where they go or when they’re coming other than the fact that they always come after something big has happened. Sort of as a reminder that no matter what happens this town will always be the same. Come on. We need to head to the glass tower,” he says, grabbing his coat and heading to a spiral staircase in the center of the room. How had I not noticed it?

“What was the big event?” I ask.

“Your appearance.”

 


I can hear people yelling outside and I see traces of fire in the window. Suddenly, I hear a huge crash and the room appears to be blurring. My vision blackens on the edges and I can only fathom colors when I concentrate on them. I can hear speaking somewhere, but I can’t place the words. For a moment I can’t really remember how to decipher words or even listen. Everything that my body used to do voluntarily now seems like a job for me to do. I can’t control myself, I’m falling. If I ever made it up the stairs, I don’t know.

I wake up to people marching, but my eyes are still closed.  They’re chanting as if they were off to war in a bittersweet it’s-ending, we’re-off-to-our deaths kind of way. I only catch a few words like, “tired” and “insane.” I seem to be being carried somewhere. My eyes fly open against my will from my curiosity. For a moment all that I see is a blur of colors. I lie on a wooden plank adorned with a old looking off white carpet on top. My eyes adjust, and I’m looking at the sky. The clearness is almost off putting. I can’t see a cloud in miles each way. The chanting loudens to an almost ear-splitting volume. Just when I feel like I need to make a break for it before my eardrums stop working, the chanting stops.

“She’s awake!” a voice calls.

I shut my eyes and squeeze them shut. They don’t seem to care. With a jolt, the plank I lie on is dropped, and the dust and anthills of the dry ground surround my face. I lie motionlessly.

I hear a whistle and the dust clouds around my face as the people I never really saw, leave. Without thinking, I sit up and only catch one face, the boy from the picture, staring at me as if he recognized me too.

 

 

I stand up and begin to walk, heading from memory in the direction that only feels right to get back to town. I pay attention to my steps, trying to make them even and balanced, but that only throws me off, putting me back in my limp.

Finding my memory to be correct, I arrive back at the green. I take a step back. The clearing that was once empty is now filled with huge trees, covering the sky like a deep green roofed forest. The trees are the tallest I have ever seen, maybe 160 feet tall, with trunks big enough for a human to live in. The mere scale of the tree makes me feel small and puts my recent experiences into perspective. I remember a life before this. No details from it, not even a last name, but I sense it was there, and it, even not remembered still feels like normalcy I’m missing. But I can tell that it’s gone. How can you go back to something you don’t remember? Lost in my thoughts and feeling swirls of misplaced nostalgia, I hardly notice when a car pulls up behind me.

“Beautiful, aren’t they? Nothing quite like ‘em in this town,” says a soft voice behind me. I hear the car door slam shut. “I’m Officer Edley. I hear you’re familiar with my friend, Officer Surrey. Welcome to Ophelia.”

I nod. “These trees…” I start, finally turning around to face a tall brunette woman who looks as if she commanded armies in her free time. She has a puzzled look on her face that throws off the whole threatening look. Something about her reminds me of something I once knew.

Finding it difficult to finish my train of thought, I watch helplessly as the woman cuts me off. “So what are you doing all the way out here?”

“The Parade, they-” I begin again.

“Oh, I heard about your run-in with the parade, practically the whole town has. Headline: ‘14-Year-Old Stranger Rejected by the Parade.’”

“Is that actually-” I start to ask. “I’m 15,” I point out, unsure of how I know that or why that was important for the officer to know.

“Not in the news yet, at least, but I’m sure they’ll be all over you the second you emerge from this forest.”

Maybe that is what I need. If the others from my memories are here and have memories of me like I have memories of them, maybe they will be able to find me before I find them. I push that out of my mind. “About the forest, it just appeared…are things like that commonplace around here?”

“You came to this place twice, I’m guessing, on your way back the second time you must have come the wrong way. See, this dry area, it’s a circle. Surrounded by the grass. On one half is the forest, the other half the clearing. That’s how I found you, just driving around the circle.”

I nod uncertainly.

“You got nothing to worry about, we’re a pretty average town.”

But if there’s one thing I remember learning in my past life, it’s that things may be disproved–rumours told by people about other people, facts from the past– but once someone has felt a certain feeling because of the rumour, the feeling stays even if the rumour is forgotten. Something was off about this town, even if this desert was in fact a circle. There was some reason I was brought to this town of all of the possible places that booming voice could have brought me. There is some reason I can’t shake the feeling I know everyone in this town.

 

 

I open the passenger seat door and collapse on the plush seat. The engine turns over with a rumble and the car starts to move.

“Have there been any new arrivals?” I ask.

“Yes, actually, a boy was found. Three days ago. He was asleep in the wine cellar uptown. Dark brown hair, light hazel eyes, know him?” the officer rambles on.

“Three days ago? Three days ago even I wasn’t here.”

“Kid, you’ve been here for a week now. We’re a good 60 miles from the Ophelia. From what our scouts saw, you walked with the parade for six days.”

“No, no,” I reply, “I was sleeping… I was unconscious!”
“Clearly you haven’t heard or felt the nightmare of war,” the officer starts. “You know what made World War IV special?”

I shake my head. “Never even heard of a ‘World War.’”

“Well it was the memory loss. Over half of the total deaths were suicide. And it wasn’t the loss of family members and a sense of home that drove them to it. It was insanity. The biggest weapon of the war that let Arcurius win was his ability to erase and plant memories. After a while the people couldn’t trust themselves and didn’t even remember their fondest memories… or which side they were fighting for. Your memories define you. Memories are supposed to be forever, that’s what nature meant them to be. That’s why they’re so powerful. No person should be able to forget what they once knew. What you know and have experienced defines you. When that was taken away, the people didn’t have a reason to live anymore.” The officer stares ahead at the street. It’s drizzling now. The soft patter of the rain gives the effect that the officer is crying, but she keeps a straight face and drives on.

“All my memories are gone,” I reply, “but the emptiness isn’t complete yet. I still feel like I know myself. And I’ve learned too.”

“That’s the scary part. Memories are something Arcurius shouldn’t have messed with. You could have gone across the universe and back last night and not remember it. Maybe you did. You’ll never know. And maybe tomorrow you’ll wake up and not remember me. Maybe neither of us will remember this conversation, and it’s almost like it’s gone. If there’s no one there to think about it, it won’t matter if it happened or not. It’s gone.”

I try to take my mind off of the contemplation of the inevitable demise of my carefully orchestrated mind. We are silent for a long time and I observe the car we sit in. The ride will be just over an hour seeing that the officer needs to stop by a farm on the way back. The car is a brilliant shade of red with scratched handles as if people are always in a rush to enter and exit the car. The windows are roll-down, and as much as I’d like to open one to let some fresh air in, I’m sure I would just be embarrassed by my lack of strength and inability to open the window. Fake wood lines the seat and the control panel in front of the car. I suggested she put on the radio, but the officer said music these days wasn’t any good. I wouldn’t know.

Finally, I decide to speak. “Do you still have all of your memories?”

“No,” the officer replies sharply, “the chemicals used to change memories, there was a big spill back in the war. All the people who forgot, they were moved all over the world to different places. I don’t know where the others went. Hell, I don’t even know if that’s the truth. I don’t remember the others, or even my family. Maybe I didn’t have one, I’m living off of belief of what they told me,” her voice cracks, “and I don’t even believe them.”

The silence is deafening.

“I’m turning on the radio,” I say, “I don’t care if the music is crap.”

I’m about to click a station when Officer Edley stops me. “There is no music. We only get static nowadays.”

Suddenly something is different with the town. The connection I once thought Ophelia had with the rest of the world is gone. It feels hopeless, abandoned. What’s wrong with Ophelia? There’s nothing? No signal?

I see a tear run down the officer’s cheek. “They left us here.” She lets out a sob. “I don’t know where we are. We’re never going back home. This… Ophelia place wasn’t meant to be inhabited and will never be anyone’s home.” She turns to look at me. “Everyone here realizes it, we’re all just too scared to say it.”

I sit back on my seat. The rain smudges our view out the window now, and the windshield wipers are doing nothing to clear out the waves of water. I can’t tell if we’re even on a road anymore, everything is just the same colors, blurred together into different shapes to make a different image.

The officer sniffles. “We’re here.”

I pop open the car door and step out into the pouring rain. Everything seems slower, sadder. I can almost see the real Ophelia, hiding behind its mask of content. I see people running through the rain, holding books and bags over their head. Their eyes are bloodshot, and they all seem just a bit more tired than people should be, escaping the cold. I can only hear the patter on the street and a faint call in the distance. The town may seem calm, but the people are screaming on the inside. A few people catch my eyes and smile a bit.
There is some reason I feel like these people aren’t genuinely content although they all smile when looked at and force a laugh when they feel it necessary. There is some reason. I feel like I’m the reason these people can’t really smile anymore.

Shadow

CHAPTER ONE -ORLI

 

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”

-Helen Keller

 

Serves me right for listening to an online advertisement. Serves me right for being tempted by $600 a day. So here I am.

Her high black heels click toward me, and she purses a mouth rich with pink lipstick. Her eyes are brown and almond-shaped, highlighted with dark gray and lavender eye-makeup. She smooths down her gray pencil skirt and her black suit jacket worn over a ruffled white blouse, and perches on the edge of her desk.

“I’m still not so sure, Mrs. DeVeen,” I say. She smiles warmly.
“Come on, dear, you’re perfect for the job. You know how many people applied? 25. And you’re the best out of all of them.”
“I don’t know…”
She looks steadily at me. “I’m not going to lie to you, Orli. It’s not going to be an easy job. My daughter is… very headstrong. You have to protect her without her even knowing you’re there.”
She sets my resume on the desk. “But I’m confident you can do it.”
“Um, can I ask something?”
Mrs. DeVeen is the very picture of your typical caring-but-responsible business mother. Other than the fact that she’s hiring a bodyguard, or shadow, to keep her daughter alive.
“Sure, sweetie. What is it?”
“Trained assassins. Hired muscle. Ex-veterans. They’ve all applied for the job. Why’d you pick me? I’m a seventeen year old girl.”
She smiles. “For one thing, I think you’d be the best shadow for Vera. You may try to act like an adult, but you are a teenage girl, just her age. A lot easier to hide too. And for another…” she stares deep into my eyes. “If you think so lowly of yourself… why did you apply for the job?”
Because I was bored of working at Emack&Bolio’s. Because I need some sort of way to support me and Leilani until Mom gets out of jail.

But I don’t say any of these things. Mrs. DeVeen nods. “I thought so. You’re hired, honey.”

Murder at the Campground

Carolina Mayorga was a struggling artist who lived in an apartment building in Boulder, Colorado. She was originally from Bogotan, Colombia but moved to the US when she was going to college. Carolina watched the sun come up from behind the mountains as she sipped her coffee. “Bob?” she called to her husband. “Are you ready for work yet? It’s almost seven.”

“Coming honey,” he called back. Carolina walked over to the table where she had set the mail down earlier. As she flipped through it, she saw a mysterious envelope with her name on it. She quickly opened it and it read:

 

Dear Carolina Mayorga,

You have received an all expenses paid trip to “King’s Resort” in Orange County, California! Please arrive on July 17th. Do not bring any guests.

Sincerely,

  1. Smith

 

Carolina set the envelope down, went to her room, and started packing her things. She knew she had nothing better to do.

James Bell was a wealthy businessman who was planning on building a grocery store on the empty lot outside of his $1.5 million dollar home in Arlington, Virginia. He was a bachelor, and knew that he would always be a bachelor. When you’re 55 years old it, dating gets a lot harder. “Keys, keys, keys, where are my keys…” he sang to himself. As he was looking for his keys, he saw a strange letter sitting on his porch. He went outside and opened it. Inside it said the same thing as Carolina’s had. He went back inside and set the letter down on the kitchen table to be looked at later.

Kristin Christiansen lived in Juno, Alaska and worked at a helicopter company. She lived with her husband Jason who was away for the next three months on a business trip. They lived in an average sized house. Kristin believed that her life was a fairytale. She was from Yankton, South Dakota and had a loving and fun family. Her sister was her best friend, and she married the man of her dreams. What more could she ask for? “This is weird,” she said as she looked at the strange letter in her hand from J. Smith.

Zachary Clemens was a factory worker in Louisville, Kentucky. He was 38 years old and hadn’t gone to college. He lived in a dungy apartment in a not-so-nice neighborhood known for murder and gang violence. But the rent was cheap and working at a factory didn’t give you that much money. Zachary was your typical loner, no friends and you don’t really know that much about him. Zach walked over to his nightstand and stared at the mysterious letter he had received from a mysterious person.

Claudia Fitzgerald was a hairdresser in NYC. She spoke in a thick New York accent. She was 26 years old and had a boyfriend named Andre. When Claudia was a teen, she worked with many modeling agencies. She was on the the cover of Teen Vogue twice, and had worked with Bobby Brown on their cosmetics line. But when she turned 19, everything changed. She ended up having a baby and had to quit modeling to take care her little girl, Lauren. As Claudia took her daughter out to the school bus, she picked up an envelope sitting on the door mat.

Alex Perez worked for a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. If you were to ask someone to describe him in one word, that word would probably be “scrawny.” All through middle school and high school Alex was bullied about his size. He mostly kept to himself and was a very clean cut person in general. He had never done anything daring or extraordinary in his life, until he got a letter from J. Smith.

Gerald Sheth was a hardcore criminal who was known for robbing banks. On the streets, he was known as the “Money Maker” for his work in making counterfeit money. He had just gotten out of jail and was trying to change his life around for the better. He had bought an apartment (with real money) and was working at the local grocery store in Riverby, North Dakota. As he walked out of his bedroom to get the mail, he saw something weird in the pile. A pink letter from J. Smith.

 

…………

 

Carolina walked over to her husband. “Hey hun, did you get this letter too?” she asked.

“What letter?” Bob walked over to her and peered at the letter. “Nope, didn’t get one. What does it say?”

“It’s inviting me to stay at a resort, but I can’t bring any guests. Are you okay with me going? It’s just that I’m so stressed and none of my art is selling-”

“Sure! Go ahead, you work so hard here. I think you should get a break every once in a while. Get a massage and just relax.”

“Are you sure, because I can always just stay here and do something with you-”

“I’m positive. When are you leaving?”

“Friday.”

“That’s in four days! Have you packed yet?”

“Already finished.”

“Well it looks like you’re set for a trip to California!”

As James Bell, sat in his airplane seat, headed to LAX, he thought about something. He thought about Sarah. He hadn’t thought about Sarah in years. He remembered the way her hand felt in his. He remembered the yellow sunflower dress she would always wear. He remembered the car accident that took her away from him. She had been the one for him.

As Kristin pulled up to the gates of King’s Resort, she got a weird feeling in her stomach. Her dad had always told her that she should trust her gut. Thinking about him made her want to think about the funeral, so she stopped. She ignored the feeling and headed into the resort, ready for what was next.

As Zachary drove into the resort, he saw six different people there, three women and three men. Two of the men were well dressed and the other one looked like he had just gone dumpster diving. There was one Latina woman, one woman who had makeup caked all over her face, and one woman who was gorgeous. So far he wasn’t threatened by any of them.

“So, what are your guys’ names? I’m Alex.”

“Carolina.”

“James Bell from James Bell Constuction.”

“Hi! I’m Kristin!”

“Hey, I’m Gerald.”

“Claudia.”

“Zachary.”

“Did all of you guys get a pink letter from a guy named J. Smith?” asked Alex. A bunch of yeses followed the question.

“I think we’re at some weird campground. I thought this was supposed to be a resort, not a girl scout sleepover,” Claudia said, clearly aggravated.

“Is there a front desk because I would love if someone could take my bags to the hotel,” said James while looking around for a hotel.

“I don’t think anyone else is here. So if I were you I would stop looking,” Claudia replied.

“Why don’t we look for the mysterious J. Smith. It will be fun!” gushed Kristin.

The place where they were looked like a deserted campground. There was a massive flagpole where they had all dropped off their cars and a couple of rustic looking cabins. The place smelled like pine cones and mold. On the edge of the camp was a body of water that was a gross, murky brown. From the looks of it, this was not a resort.

“Okay. Why don’t me, goldilocks-”

“My name is Kristin.”

“Why don’t me, Kristin, and loner boy come with me and look on the west half of the camp and the rest of you can look on the east side of the camp,” said Claudia.

“Sounds good with me,” said Gerald.

“Me too,” replied Zach.

Everyone split into their groups. Claudia, Kristin, and Zach were going to search the west side and James, Carolina, Alex, and Gerald would search the east side.

 

…………..

 

“So! Where are you guys from?” Kristin asked.

“New York City,” Claudia answered.

“Louisville,” Zach said.

“Cool! I live in Alaska,” Kristin replied.

“Was anyone else a little creeped out that you can’t find King’s Resort online?” Claudia asked.

“That is a little weird, but there’s probably an explanation,” Zach replied.

“I just thought it was really rustic so they didn’t use computers,” Kristin said. As they searched through the camp, all they saw were cabins and pine trees, but no J. Smith. As they kept walking they saw an old barn.

“That. Smells. Disgusting,” Claudia said with a disgusted look on her face. “I am not going in there.”

“Relax,” Zach said. “It’s probably just really old and has a funky smell because of mold from the wood getting wet.” Zach opened the barn door with a grunt and they all walked in.

“This is kind of gross,” Kristin said, frowning. There was a bunch of wet hay on the ground and the building was pretty much falling apart on the inside. They searched the barn, but found nothing.

“This is a waste of time. I’m starting to think this whole ‘resort’ thing was a scam,” Claudia said.

“Yah. me too. Let’s go find the others,” Zach replied.

 

………….

 

“This trip is weird,” said Gerald.

“I know right! We should have been allowed to bring a guest! I wanted to bring my husband,” Carolina said with a frown.

“This place is really dirty,” James said, clearly appalled.

“C’mon guys. Let’s just pick up the pace and look for this J. Smith guy,” Alex said, motioning the group forward with his arm. As the four of them speed walked, they stumbled upon a cabin that was bigger and much nicer than the others.

“Maybe this is the front desk,” Gerald said. They all walked towards the door and Alex opened and they noticed something weird. This wasn’t the front desk. There were four rows of bunk beds set neatly next to each other with about one foot of space between each bed. Each bed was made with military like precision. There were four blue beds and three pink beds. The blue beds were on the bottom and the pink beds were on the top. Each bed had a pink or blue quilt with your name stitched onto it.

“This is creepy,” Alex said.

“I think it’s nice,” James said with a smile. Suddenly, the door opened again and the rest of the group came in.

“This is freaky,” Claudia said.

“It’s late and I’m tired,” Gerald replied as he walked over to his bed and layed down. “But I’m definitely leaving tomorrow.” A chorus of “me toos” was said back.

“I’m gonna go for a walk. Clear my head,” Zach said.

“Have fun,” Claudia replied. After Zach left, Carolina walked over to the lamp and switched it off.

 

…………..

 

Gregory slowly opened his eyes to the bright daylight. Everyone else was still laying down except for one person. Zachary. The bed appeared to be untouched. Gregory got up and walked over to Carolina’s bed. “Carolina!” he whispered loudly, shaking her, “Caroli-”

“What?!” she yelled. Everyone slowly got up after being woken up by Carolina’s screech.

“It’s Zach. He’s not here. He went on that walk last night and and didn’t come back. Look his bed is untouched.” Everyone turned their head towards the empty bed and gasped.

“He probably decided to leave,” Alex said, rubbing his eyes.

“These beds are really comfortable!” said James.

“Let’s go check and see if his car is there,” Kristin said. Everyone got up and walked towards the door. As they walked towards the cars, Kristin moved herself towards Gregory.

“Do you think he’s dead?” she whispered.

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” Everyone stopped.

“The car is still there,” Claudia said, eyes wide.

“Everyone stay calm,” James said. “Let’s look by the lake.” Everyone slowly walked towards the lake and gasped.

“Oh my god,” Kristin said. Claudia screamed. There, lying on the ground, was Zach’s dead body.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Claudia said with a groan. Zach’s body was a light shade of blue. He was facedown in the water, his hair flowing with the current. He was caught in seaweed by the shore of the lake.

“What are we going to do?” Alex asked, stunned.

“Like before, everyone stay calm. I’m calling 911,” James said.

“There’s no service,” Kristin replied, eyes wide.

“There’s a gas station a couple of miles away from here. I can drive over there,” Carolina said.

“Good idea. I’ll go with you,” said Gregory.

 

………….

Carolina and Gregory got into Carolina’s car. “I’ll drive,” Carolina said.

“Fine by me,” he answered. Carolina shot onto the road and drove down the driveway, then skidded to a stop. In front of them was an electric fence, turned on.

“What the heck!” Carolina screamed. She got out of the car and picked up a stick. She then threw the stick at the fence, frying the stick. “What are we going to do!?” she wailed. She climbed back into the car and shot back down the driveway.

“Calm down,” Gregory said. “We’ll figure out a way out of here.” When they got back to the cars, they both ran back to the others and told them what had happened. Since they had been gone, no one had touched the body.

“Someone has to turn him over,” Alex said, gulping.

“I’ll do it,” James said while stepping over to the body. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and poked Zach with a stick.

“Stop being chicken and flip him over!” Claudia yelled.

“Okay, okay..” James pulled Zach’s body onto the sandy shore and flipped him over. Zach’s eyes were still open and his face and lips were blue, like cotton candy. “Well, he doesn’t appear to be stabbed anywhere and there’s no bruising on his neck-”

“He probably drowned,” Kristin finished.

“Do you think he killed himself, or was it something else?” Alex asked hesitantly.

“Well, considering the indentation in the back of his head he was probably murdered,” James said. James flipped Zach back onto his stomach and showed them the indentation in the back of Zach’s head. “Zach was probably walking along the shore and someone came up behind him and smashed a rock into his head. They then pushed him into the lake and hoped he would drift away and not come back. Since this has happened, I should probably tell you guys that I’m actually an undercover cop. I thought this was just going to be a nice vacation and that I wouldn’t have to tell anybody that. Oh well,” James finished.

“Well, that’s good luck,” Gregory said.

Excerpt: Wings of Darkness

This story takes place in a magical school where the narrator, Autumn, and her sister, Crystal, are learning magic. There are seven different founders and seven different schools of magic. Autumn is in Mitch’s group, a combat-magic-focused group. Crystal is in Jerome’s group, another group focused on combat magic. When they were choosing weapons, Autumn chose a curved type of axe and Crystal chose two handaxes. This is because their group’s founders were brothers who both use axes. The founders are long dead now, though. Crystal has also found a suspicious character in the garden, a man cloaked in fog. She saw he had wings but only saw the tip, which was white and purple. He threatened to kill her, and she ran away. She is now trying to find out everything she can this person. I hope you enjoy this excerpt.

 

I have spent six months here at the school. My fighting skills have gotten tremendously better. The first few weeks were basically catching me up with everyone else, the rest learning more and more weapons work. I can now fight off three opponents at a time. I got a compliment just the other day from Sandra: “You fight well and with grace. You are one of the few students who can make your fighting look beautiful.”  

It’s not as if I enjoy fighting. Well actually, I take that back. I don’t try to look for fights, but fighting gives me a sense of purpose, like I can actually do something. Crystal, my sister, is doing well too. Her skills have gotten better, and she seems to have found her place here. I wasn’t sure if she was going to be ok here, but now she seems to know what she is doing. I am definitely a better fighter than her though. She tends to hold back, even now.

I have discovered other things about the school as well. Like a statue room, with giant stone statues of all the founders, or a secret passage that looks suspiciously like it was hollowed out by water leading to the adults quarters. I know the school like the back of my hand now and can get from the dorms to the garden in the dark.

And I have not forgotten about the angel guy in the garden either. I have not found out anything else about him, and in my free time have been scouring the library for anything that might have something to do with him. I am here now, looking through the shelves. I haven’t found anything yet, but I won’t give up hope. I pull an old, dusty book off the shell. It dislodges cobwebs, and dust bunnies float in the air. A Guide to the Monsters of the Mythical Realms. This might be helpful. I take it over to a table. It is heavy. I plop it down on the table and flip it open. Even more dust floats in the air now, as I inspect the pages. They are yellow with age, and I have to be very careful with them. I feel like they could crumble in my hands.

 

I begin to read. Not really looking for anything in particular, I flip through the pages. One catches my eye. ‘Soulkeepers’ it reads at the top. There is a folded scrap piece of paper at this page, and I set it aside. Probably someone’s long-forgotten bookmark. When I look at what the paper was covering, I gasp in astonishment. It is a dark outline of a man with feathered wings. It looks like it was drawn hastily, with coal or some type of dark chalk. As I read the given information, my eyes widen.  

 

Soulkeepers are very rare. They are not human but once were. They are reincarnations of powerful beings that have died. They can be created in two ways. One, if enough of free flowing magic settles over the dead person and then creates a physical form. Two, if a very powerful magic user has an item that is close to the person then uses it to summon the Soulkeeper.

Soulkeepers are beings of immense power and are not to be trifled with. Most of the time the summoner will lose control of the soulkeeper, and the servant will turn on its master. If you see one of these beings, stay away. They are dangerous and unpredictable.               

       

That is what that thing in the garden was! A Soulkeeper. At least now I know what it was. I look back, but that is all the book says about Soulkeepers. I wonder if there are any other books on Soulkeepers, but when I check, there are none. Still, this is a little more to go on. I walk back to put the book away, and my eyes fall on the sheet of paper. I don’t know if it’s worth investigating, but I unfold it. It reads: if you want to know more about this subject, visit the catacombs. This school has catacombs? I know it has a lot of secrets, but an underground chamber? That’s going a bit far, don’t you think? Anyway, I know what I’m doing tonight.

 

I creep down the stairs to the basement, my hand trailing on the damp wall. The stairs are cracked and uneven in some places. I can see this by the light of my axe, which is glowing a bright blue. I’m not supposed to be out after curfew, but this is important. I continue down into the darkness then abruptly stop as I see what I am looking at. A small, stone room with a couple of moldy boxes in the corner. There is literally nowhere to go from here. I can’t just give up though. I walk over to the back wall and crouch down, looking for any clues to a secret passage or a hidden room. In the very corner there are some runes of a language I don’t understand, but when I reach down to touch them, they glow a bright green. The wall slides back to reveal a hidden passageway, leading downward into the darkness. I can tell that no one has been here for a while, maybe even years. I take a deep breath and head down. The tunnel is only slightly slanted downward, but it is slick with moisture. I take my time, but all my instincts are telling me this is it, the day I learn what I want to know. After minutes of walking down the hallway I come out into a bigger passageway. This one has a thin sheen of water on the floor, and as I step into it, my shoes get soaked. At first I just walk around, looking at things. There are many side passages, and the ceiling is high, receding into darkness. The shadows seems to press in on me, and I will my axe to glow a bit brighter. I slog down the tunnel, the water getting deeper and deeper till it reaches my hips. Just when I am beginning to think this is probably a waste of time, I hear it. A soft sound at first, but it gets louder as it gets nearer. The sound of someone singing. And… the sound of something dragging on the ground. The singing is hard and rough, even the voice seems like it’s crippled by old age. At first I can’t make out the words but then they become clear.

“One body, two bodies, three bodies, four. One more body makes the fire roar. One wing, two wings, fly to the sky. When we fall, we will cry”   

It is more of a chant than a song and a creepy one at that. A figure comes walking out of the darkness and into my axe’s light. He shrinks away, as though the light has burned him, but I’ve seen enough. His clothes are dark and probably some type of leather. He has long black hair that looks like it hasn’t been washed in months. His eyes are that glowing white that I saw the night in the garden. Behind him droops a single raven-black wing, dragging across the ground.

“Hissss… Why did you come here? No one comes here anymore.”

“I want to know about Soulkeepers. I read somewhere that going down here could help me.”

“Ahh. You want to know about our kind? You have come to the right place. But why should I tell you what I know?”

“I think, about six months ago, I saw one of your kind. I want to know if they are any threat to the school above us.”

“The school? Yes, of course, they would have built that. Why should I betray the secrets of my kind to you? He shakes his head as if he’s dislodging something. Oh, what does it matter anymore? They have all forgotten me anyway. What do you wish to know?”

“Do you know what a Soulkeeper would want with humans? And where do Soulkeepers usually live?”

“Soulkeepers are beings not unlike demigods. They have immense power and tend not to involve humans in their matters unless they have some use for humans. They have have far greater life spans than humans, so tend to think of humans as insignificant creatures. I am not able to tell you where we reside, because we have all taken an oath to never speak of it to anyone but ourselves.”

“You are a Soulkeeper, then?”

“Yes. Will that be all?”

“May I ask why you only have one wing?”

“Nosey one, aren’t you.  I do not wish to speak of such matters with one of your race. I have already said too much. You will go now.” He says it like a statement, something that will not be argued over. He is already walking out of the light, back down the hallway.

I turn to leave, but then a thought strikes me. “Hey, wait!”

He turns back around so I can see one of his glowing eyes.

“What type of beings come back to life as Soulkeepers?” I ask.

“Any ones that are powerful. Like great magic users or important beings such as ones that changed the timeline of the magical world.”

As I walk back to my room, I begin to think. I have an idea of what might be happening. When I get back into bed, my thoughts are already churning. What if, what if, what if. I don’t know if I’m right or not, but I have a suspicion.

What if the founders of the school are coming back as Soulkeepers?

 

***

 

Now, I decide, is the time to share this with someone. I should have probably gone to a teacher first, but I find myself walking down the hall to Crystal’s room. When I get there, she opens up immediately and we sit down on the bed together. Then I tell her everything. The night in the garden, the book that I found, and last night’s journey to the catacombs. I thought she would be angry with me for not coming to her sooner, but she says she would have done the same thing in my situation. After class that day we decide to walk in the garden together. It is a peaceful thing, just me and her. We don’t talk, just enjoying the scenery. Slowly, ever so slowly, our hands creep together. It feels good to have a sister, someone to tell you it will always be alright.

“I never want to leave you. Ever,” she whispers in my ear. And that’s when I hear it.

 

Whoosh, whoosh. Flap, flap.

Thoom!

 

I remember that sound. Of course I do. “Get down!” I whisper. “Into the bushes. Now!” I crouch down, pulling Crystal behind me.

We reached the plants and push our way in, ignoring the branches that try to hold us back. Footsteps come on the gravel path, and from inside the leaves, I spot four pairs of feet. Whoever it is stopped. They begin to talk to each other in those deep, inhuman voices.

“We are here, now what?” says a first voice  

“We do as master told us,” says a second voice.

“Must we? Can’t we have some fun first?” says a third voice.

“We will do as we were ordered,” says the second voice.

“Aw, come on, you know you want to just as much as we do,” says the third voice.

“We will do what we came to do, which means we are going to destroy-”

“Comrades, I don’t believe our conversation is private.” A fourth voice cuts into the mix.

They all go silent. I hold my breath, willing Crystal to do the same. All at once, four clawed hands reach into our hiding place and pull us out. Lying on the ground next to Crystal, I look up to see four people. The one I’m drawn to first has familiar white and purple feathered wings. I realize now that the glowing green thing on his head is a pair headphones, and I recognize Ty. He has purple claws and a long purple tail that ends in a brown tuft of hair. That’s who that was the first night. The next one is wearing a blue space suit with a blue-and-gold helmet. That must be Jason. His claws are also purple, his wings are metallic blue. His tail also is made of blue metal, and at the end is a sharp, rugged blade that looks very dangerous and scary.  The next two I recognize almost immediately. One wears jeans, a white shirt, and over that a red-and-black hoodie. His wings are purple and are more like a bat’s than an angel’s. His tail is purple and spiked, and at the end is a arrow-like tip made for stabbing. Mitch. The next one is a very fluffy person. Jerome has brown feathered wings, and the tips are gray. He wears no clothes but is so furry he really doesn’t need any. His tail is a mass of fur and drags on the ground behind him, picking up twigs, leaves, and dirt from the ground. They all have those white, pupiless, glowing eyes and all standing about nine feet. Four Soulkeepers. Here! I’m right about the founders coming back as Soulkeepers, but I don’t want to find out like this, sprawled on the ground in front of them.  

“Well, well, what do we have here?” asks Mitch.

“That’s you!” I stutter, pointing at Ty.

“Have you met before, Ty?” asks Mitch, surprise evident in his voice.

“Yes, on my first scouting mission. She bumped into me. I decided to spare her puny life.” The look he gives me tells me not to talk about what he said to me.

“Well, what do we do with them?” asks Jerome. “We could kill them,” he says it so simply, like he’s suggesting someone make dinner.

“No, I have a better idea,” says MItch. “Jason, go do what we came here to do.”

“But-”

“Who is the leader of this mission again?” Mitch’s voice has gone quiet.

“Fine.” Jason flies off, his wings making metallic flapping sounds.

“Now, where were we? Ah, yes, you two. Ty, take her. Make sure she doesn’t get away.” He walks over and drags me to the side of the path, holding me tight with his claws so I can’t even squirm. He also picks up my weapon and, holding it, turns to Mitch.

“Shall I snap this useless piece of metal?” he asks.

“No, leave it for now,” Mitch replies. Then he turns to Crystal and gives her the two axes she dropped. “Get up.”

Crystal staggers to her feet.

“Now, we fight.”

Crystal readies herself, but I can see the fear in her eyes. She doesn’t want to fight.

“Let me fight instead!” I cry. I would do anything to save her. None of them reply, however. Jerome has stepped back, giving Mitch and Crystal room to fight. In desperation, Crystal strikes the first blow. Mitch knocks her aside as though he’s swatting a fly. To her credit, she gets up almost immediately, but this time Mitch is on the offensive, his axe swinging down. The axe is so big and looks very dangerous. It has one blade one one side, but on the other it has a spear-like point made for stabbing. The skills we learned did not go to waste, however, and Crystal is holding her own. A feeling of helplessness wells up inside on me. I want to do anything I can to help, but I can’t get free, no matter how much I struggle. Crystal is losing ground now, being pushed back toward the walls of the school. I try to warn her, but Ty clamps one of his clawed hands around my mouth before I can say anything.

Then Mitch’s axe spins through the air, so fast I can’t follow it, and stabs Crystal with the spear-like part. Ty has taken his hand away now, and I scream “No!”

Crystal is lying on the ground but starts to get up again. I sigh with relief, but it is short lived as Mitch raises his axe. He cuts down, but Crystal manages to avoid that swing. She doesn’t see the back swing, though, and Mitch brings his axe back up, cutting diagonally across her body.

“No!” I squirm out of Ty’s grip and run over to Crystal. Blood has pooled on the ground around her. I should be angry. I should be furious. But I only feel a deep sadness. The sadness has my heart in its grasp and is rending it in two. I crouch down beside her, taking her head in my hands. Her breathing is fast and shallow. “Autumn?” she says. Her voice is faint and weak.

“Shh. I’m here now. It’s ok.” Even as I say this, I know it is a lie. There is too much blood, flowing from her too fast.

“Did I do good?” she asks, her voice even fainter.

“Yes, yes of course you did,” I murmur. Anything to comfort her. The world has grown smaller, it is only her and me. Everything else is a blur. I feel the tears stream down my face but do nothing to wipe them away. I hug Crystal close to me, and I can hear her heartbeats getting shallower and shallower.

She whispers in my ear, “Carry me in your heart. Never forget me. Live for me.” Then she slumps down on the ground, her last words echoing in my mind.

 

“No, Crystal, I will never forget you. Ever.”

 

I look up, at the three Soulkeepers, and sadness turns to anger in my heart. A burning, roaring fire that will not stop till all of them are dead.

“That was the best thing i’ve seen in a while, but that girl is about to get dangerous,” says Jerome.

“Shall we leave? Jason must be almost finished,” Ty says.

“None of you are going anywhere,” I say. My vision is red rimmed, and the anger burning inside of me is ready to explode.

“A silly human like you has no right to order us around. We will go where we like,” MItch says. The flapping of wings herald the approach of Jason.

“It is done,” he says.

And that is when I lose my patience. I fly at them, no matter what the odds I’m going to kill them. For Crystal. Mitch laughs and grabs me in a chokehold, holding me above the ground.

“No human can ever hope to challenge us. I hope you will realize this, in the days to come.” At the surprised look on my face he chuckles. “You thought we would kill you? Oh no, it is a much better punishment to leave you alive, to think about what we have done for the rest of your pathetic life.”

 

He drops me on the ground, then as one, the Soulkeepers lift their wings and spiral up to the sky.

An Exclusive Paradise

The day was bright with sun streaming down onto everything, making it glow. The sky was a rich, rich blue, cloudless and immaculate. The sky matched the town, for the town, too, was immaculate – neat rows of swaying palm trees, sparkling sidewalks, and glittering, golden buildings stretching a hundred feet into the air. The town and sky had a companion in its perfection – the people of the town: their smile, light speech, and laughter were as impeccable as the rest. Never a frown was exchanged in this town, and for this reason the town had its name. This town was Paradise Row.

Evelyn Caberton was one and the same, her smile lighting up her face often, her steps quick and delicate. She never spoke a harsh word, she laughed brightly and frequently, and she was easy to talk to.

Eli Sullivan was exquisite, too, his straw-colored curls bouncing merrily, his blue eyes piercing, his walk easy and loping. He burst out with great guffaws perhaps even more than he grinned, and he seemed to grin more often than he breathed.

There were boundless, if subtle, similarities between the two, yet only one thing linked their families: money. Evidence of their wealth was everywhere: in Lavinia Caberton’s sparkling jewelry case that she opened it intermittently to peer at her reflection, touch up, and stroke her silky hair; in Henry Sullivan’s wallet, thick with crisp $100 bills. Each and every citizen of Paradise Row were connected by their innumerable riches, the money bringing forth the sparkling sidewalks, sweeping palm trees, and golden towers.

Evelyn Caberton only intended to buy a sundae and hurry home to her front porch that day: school was out and there was nothing to do but enjoy herself. So why not?

Eli was less relaxed and slightly annoyed. Books, books, that was all Father talked about these days. If he had to read, why did he have to go to Elizabeth’s Fine Books, the most snobby bookstore in Paradise Row or maybe all of Western California? Oh, who cared about history? I mean, it’s, like, history. Nevertheless, he had grabbed the first book within arm’s reach and turned to find Evelyn.

. . .

Meanwhile, fire raged. Flames rose high from the ground to the sky, stretching for miles along the California coastline. They were ruthless and unceasing, tearing through forests, farmland, and cities without mercy.

A hundred miles east, starving masses were rampaging through farmlands, stealing and pillaging, leaving the farmers with nothing and the thieves with only a little more than that.

Another hundred miles, and mothers and fathers worked far into the night, toiling for hours, finally returning home with worn faces and hands cracked from dust and heat, carrying just barely enough to keep their little children alive.

All the way on the East Coast, the government was riddled with corruption, more and more laws written that would benefit no one but the already most privileged. As the country fell deeper into debt, a hundred more laws were passed in haste to try to prevent an all-out catastrophe, but they did nothing but pull it deeper into calamity.

. . .  

“Hey Evie!” Eli panted, rushing up under the railing of Evelyn’s front porch.“You’ve gotta, gotta see this.”

Evelyn grinned, expecting an ice cream or something even better, like the key to her mother’s private collection of books, which she probably kept because she didn’t want Evelyn to read them, but who cared? They looked amazing and had intriguing titles; if she wanted to read them, why shouldn’t she? “Of what sort, Eli?” She brushed her hair out of her face and sighed gently, standing up and beginning to walk.

“I was gonna take you skating in the first place, but my sister got sick, so…”

“Can’t we still go. Eli. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”  

“This’s better, promise. C’mon.”

“Let us just go to the bookstore, Eli. Or perhaps we ought to go flying.” She adapted a heavy drawl. “Yep, let’s, Eli. Take an airplane up a couple miles and jump off. Surely the clouds will catch us.” There were no clouds in the sky.

Eli looked at her with admiration. She was so smart. She’d take books over movies any day, and she was so witty, always knew how to make him laugh. “Anyway…” he gave a random grin that lit up his face like the sun. “Here, come on.” He grabbed Evelyn’s hand, his face somehow changing to become much less lighthearted, guiding her to the nearest building, which stood a hundred feet tall, made of shining marble and plated with gold. Eli frowned uncharastically.

She brushed her hair away again and gave the same long sigh. “What are you doing?”

“Roof,” Eli said simply. And with that, he tugged on Evelyn’s hand, pulled her through the door, into the shining, golden lobby, all the way to the other side, where the elevator glimmered in its glory.

Evelyn shook her head frantically. “What? Eli, I can’t, Eli!”

“Can too, Everfine Evie-lyne,” he chuckled at the old nickname, “Get ya’ self up there.”

Uneasily, Evelyn pressed the button, stepped into the elevator, and just barely nudged the panel marked R for Roof. As the elevator glided smoothly upward, she gripped the golden handrail until her knuckles were white. If her mother found out… “Eli, think of Ms. Lavinia. I can’t do this.”

“Your mother would just ‘darling’ you a bunch, fix her makeup, and hurry you along. Come on, Evie, she won’t disown you or anything. We’re not leaving Paradise Row or anything crazy like that.” He let out a chuckle, and then resumed his worried frown.

Still a little sick, she nodded. The elevator came to a smooth stop and the doors flew open. They were on the roof.

Only 10 stories, it was true, but the height was still breathtaking. On 3 sides, a great metropolis of green and gold stretched out beneath them, trees, parks, shining buildings, the sun casting a fine glow upon everything.

Yet the fourth side–

“Eli, there’s a fire! Eli, it’s blazing. It can’t be more than a few miles away. Oh –” she swept her hair out of her face and began to pace. “… Are we safe, Eli, are we safe?”

Eli wheeled around to face her, his eyes stormy, gesturing to the blazing inferno. “Quiet, Evelyn. It doesn’t matter.

“People are dying out there, the fire’s killed over two hundred already. All people like us, you know, people who have family and friends and a life worth living. But that fire took it all away. Why does it matter if we’re safe?”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? It’s going to travel here, Eli. Sweep through the city and burn me to ashes. We’ve got to get out of here, Eli!”

“No. No, maybe you’re right, but… that’s not why I showed this to ya’, Evie. I showed it to ya’ because I want you to realize something – what a bubble we’re living in.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We’ve always had everything we needed. Look out there. They got nothing. Doesn’t it feel wrong, somehow?”

“Maybe… yes. But the question is, why? Why does it matter that we have everything…” she stopped. “Wow.”

“We’re all selfish creeps, all us here in Paradise Row. You’re not alone.”

Evelyn blanched. “Eli! All I meant was… Indeed, I feel that we have more than we’re entitled to, given we’ve done nothing. Nothing at all. Yet there isn’t a way to change that, Eli. I’m not prepared to be some sort of heroine and sacrifice all I have so a few people can get back home.”

The fire raged.

“Sit, Evie.” Evelyn sat nervously beside Eli, the marble roof hot underneath her hands. “Evie, I’ve learned so much, about everything that’s going on out there: The Western California wildfire was arson, ya’ know.  You don’t know the beginning of it, it’s terrible.  But that’s not the only thing, mostly, it’s just how twisted this entire system is, with no one helping anyone at all. No one’s ever given ya’ a hand, ya’ know? and no one ever considered really helping the outside. That’s what I mean when I say we’re all selfish creeps. Paradise Row doesn’t work like that. But I promise… just a simple act of selflessness, it feels like heaven. It creates somethin’. It makes somethin’ whole. Just that simple act.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“Yes. You’re right. But think about it, Eli… of course I want to help the people out there. But I can’t! Just think of Mother’s reaction.” Evelyn almost practically heard her mother’s voice and could see her caressing her long, silky hair. “Honey, what a sweet idea. I’ll see if I can spare a twenty for Doctors Without Borders or something of that sort. Would you like a new dress, darling?” The idea made her cringe.

“There’s nothing, huh?”

“Nothing.” Evelyn closed her eyes tight and tried to stop the dreadful idea from taking root. I don’t want to, anyway, she told herself. I want to keep Paradise, and my ice cream sundaes. I want to keep my family. It may be horribly selfish but I can’t let it all go.

Resigned, Eli stood up and walked slowly back into the elevator without a single grin.

. . .

Evelyn walked slowly home, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the catalyst she had seen on the roof. How blind she had been, all her life! Living like this, while people were dying mere miles from her home! But she was certain there was nothing she could do. She lay down on her front porch, sighed, and brushed away her hair. If only, if only. She did want to help those people, truly she did, but there was only one way to do it, and it meant leaving everything behind. She felt rotten for not doing the heroic thing. But time after time it nagged her… what she’d leave behind if she rushed to help the people in the fire, and what it meant for the rest of the world. She closed her eyes and gave a long, long sigh.

And then she heard the scream. High and piercing, it sliced through the sky like a knife, stabbing straight into Evelyn’s chest and making her gasp with pain. No one else seemed to hear it. Yet she knew it was a child, crying out from the fire.

And for some reason, she thought of Eli, and her scream, and her fire.

She ran.

She knew he would be there, and indeed he was, atop the roof. He was pacing back and forth, but he turned around as she walked and ran to her. She shook her head.

“People are dying. People are dying. I can’t…” That could have been you, she thought, but couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. “We have to leave.”

The implications of her proposal began to settle.

“Yeah,” Eli finally said. “Yeah, we gotta be part of the fight. I can’t, like, bear stay here and watch the world sink into ruin.”

Suddenly Evelyn’s own proposal seemed altogether too real. “So that means goodbye? To everything? To our childhood, to our life?”

“Any other suggestions?” Eli said sarcastically.

“No. I just… I wish I could keep this perfect, you know? But hearing that scream, I realized it’s not just a bunch of meaningless lives at stake here. Universes are at stake. Every time someone is born, a whole new universe is created, because everyone’s life is unique, you know? I have my own universe, and I’m right at the center, and you have yours, and they’re all equally important. And that’s not the only thing. I don’t want to end up like my mother, only caring about food and makeup and romance novels. I want to do something, I want to be something.”

Eli stared wonderingly at Evelyn. “Well phrased.”

“I’ll meet you tomorrow. Same place, same time?” Eli nodded. It was decided.

So much was not spoken, but so much more was felt, a thousand feelings whirling around in both of their heads. There were lamentations of a childhood gone, of luxuries resigned. Yet there were deeper feelings, too, of sacrifice and self-worth. They knew they were doing something noble, and it warmed their hearts, because in Paradise Row, these acts were seldom. This act would not benefit them, but it would benefit a thousand different universes. They were doing the stuff of heroes.

. . .

At home that night, Evelyn thought about her decision. It was hasty. It was only briefly discussed. So why did it feel so right, and why did it feel so wrong?

She looked around at her room, the plush, golden rug, the chandelier, the canopy bed. She looked at all the riches. Then she looked beyond the riches and just gazed at the effort and the love that went into making this room so beautiful. Her father (he was almost always away for business) had spent hours here, fixing up the window seat, painting the bookshelves.

In this room, she and her father had read fairy tales and long novels, talked about school, and just killed time, sitting comfortably in the armchairs. Here, she and Eli had played pretend and eaten their first taste of ice cream. She and Willow, her best friend, had giggled here, talking about crushes and books and everything else you could imagine. There was never a worry, never a frown, just content and safety in this room that she would find nowhere else. No worry about paying the bills. No arguments over a too-expensive smartphone. Just peace.

It’s perfect, she thought, and something heavy settled in her chest, some strange, twisted monster. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to pop the bubble. I want to stay forever.

She couldn’t, she couldn’t. She’d go to Eli and explain. Perhaps he’d understand. Perhaps he was feeling the same way.

She snuck out the window of her room, creeping silently, barefoot, across the dewy lawn. The moon shone brightly, casting an eerie glow. In a minute she was on the roof again.

“Eli?”

“Hey, Evie. Ready?”

She took a deep breath. “No. Eli. I can’t.”

He stood still as a stone, unblinking, unmoving.

“I don’t want to leave this place. I don’t want to be the heroine. I don’t want to sacrifice everything, Eli, I don’t, I can’t, and I won’t.”

“Evelyn.” It was the first time he had ever used her full name. “You’ll never know just how much I get ya’.”

Relief flooded through her, coursing through her veins and settling in her stomach. “Thank you, Eli.”

“But there is still one more thing you don’t get.”

Tension arose in her again. “What is it?”

“Come here.” He beckoned. “When my dad dropped me at Elizabeth’s, I just grabbed the first book within arm’s reach, but I guess it was fate, because I happened to pick up this book, A Titanic Struggle by Nicholas Greenfield. The title’s really cool, because it means two things – titanic is like big and strong and powerful, but the S.S. Titanic was this supposedly unsinkable ship that sunk. So it means, like, a heroic struggle on a very sinkable ship.

“Here’s the story. The Titanic, it ran into an iceberg around three in the morning in the middle of April, 1912. More than half the people on the ship died, ‘cause there weren’t enough lifeboats. But it took maybe three hours for the ship to sink all the way, and the engineers were some of the first to know. Well, if they had been sane, they would have immediately jumped into a lifeboat with enough food and stuff for days. They didn’t, though. They got workin’ trying to fix that boat, delaying its fall. Of course it was all for nothing – in vain, and they knew it, because there was no stopping a ship with a huge hole in its stern. And they kept working even as the bow rose up into the air. Every single one of them died, but there’s no tellin’ how many lives they saved, delaying the boat from sinking.

“Do you understand now?”

His words were simple, but she understood. Something hot and powerful coursed through her, making her stand up taller, the idea of such goodness and sacrifice. It propelled her, it warmed her, it filled her with an unreachable desire to do something. “Yes.”

“So, let’s go!”

“No.” Her words were a whisper, barely heard even in the silent night.

Evelyn!” Eli yelled exasperatedly. What is it now? Can you shut up being such a selfish freak?”

“Eli,” she said softly, “I love this place. I love not having a worry in the world. I love having too much money to know what to do with. I love the fact that nobody ever frowns. I love that no one ever worries about paying the bills. The thing is, Eli, this world would be perfect, as perfect as a diamond ring, if the rest of the world didn’t exist.”

“There. Hit the nail on the head. But it does exi–”

“And I want to help it, Eli. With all my heart, but if I do, then I feel…” she trailed off.

“What?”

“I feel as if this is the closest to perfect the world will ever get. I feel if I leave, it’ll pop the bubble that has made us whole, and there will be nothing, nothing, quite perfect left for the world to have. I just cherish the idea that there is still something perfect. But if I leave, there won’t be… not one thing.”

“Oh, Evie,” Eli whispered. “But you’re wrong. There will still be something perfect for the world to have, forever and ever and ever.”

“What is it?” she breathed, and Eli looked at her and smiled.

“I think I know something perfect too,” she said finally, smiling back. And again, Evelyn felt that warm, powerful thing pass through her, that she now knew was belonging, and sacrifice, and love. And she knew, all of a sudden, that no amount of money could create a perfect world. There was something infinitely more powerful and pure, and that was the knowledge that someone cared.

“Are you ready?” Eli said again, his voice swelling with hope, his face lighting up with a brilliant smile.

“I’m ready,” she responded, tossing her hair away one last time and giving a sigh that burst with promise. And they walked, hand in hand, down the stairs and onto the lawn and through the streets and out of a not-so-perfect world.

We never will know what became of them, because, we must admit, they were only children. But they were children with something untouchable, unfeelable, and that was the knowledge of their sacrifice. They had power, and they had strength, and they had faith, and as all of you know, that is all it takes to change the world.

However, perhaps we can infer….

Necropolis

  1. a cemetery, especially a large one belonging to an ancient city

 

“Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;

Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes

Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth,

Let’s choose executors and talk of wills”

William Shakespeare, Richard II
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” she let out a blood curdling yell and my bare feet hit the pavement as the screen door slammed. I felt like a thousand panes of glass had shattered in my chest. Panic surged through my knees and crept towards my brain as I realized I couldn’t turn back. At least tonight. My body plummeted against the street again and again until my steps were in rhythm with my short breath. Ten feet. Five feet. The cragged white chainlink fence didn’t seem to be getting any closer. Five feet. Five feet. The space in between us seemed to give in then and I fell at the entrance to the place they keep my father.

The first time I was in a graveyard, I was five years old. I remember staring at my sister’s blotchy face and asking why she was crying. She knelt in front of a stone shinier and less decrepit than the others and her bawling increased like I had upset her. Feelings were a mystery. “He’s gone,” she whimpered. I stood still for a long time until I felt like I had become a tombstone just like the others. Silent but beautiful. I wanted things to stop changing because my life was not a plaything. My eyes closed and I realized that I was happy. Not because my daddy was gone but because time had seemed to stop in the graveyard. The slow pulse of my tiny heart was all I could feel.

Soil and freshly turned earth was my resting place. The night we fought the feeling of undisturbed joy I’d become addicted to came too slowly. At first I only felt like I was writhing in the ocean; my body tumbled in the waves until my throat was sticky with salt and my dripping hair matted together with sand. I fought to break free but I knew it was all my fault. Everything. I could hear my sister saying, “Ash you need to look around sometimes. You’re stuck.”

Ana knows I come here. The people here are my family. I’ve tried to pretend I know him because we see each other every day but his face is a black hole in my mind. All I know is, “Peter Rust- 1960-2007. He is missed by many.” Sometimes I don’t think that’s true. My salty tears and flower petals stand alone.

In my dreams Ana and I are sitting on a park bench. Fragments of white chalk lay strewn about like fallen soldiers. Untouched. We sit silently and I watch an empty swing go back and forth. Back and forth. I knew we were waiting because I’d spent my life waiting for something or someone to come back for me. But nothing ever has.

Suddenly, I lay back in the cemetery with tiny beads of sweat on my forehead. My body ached with memories long forgotten. A mournful bird swept over me, serenading the dead and a fatherless daughter. Strangely I feel less alone than before. My tired feet gently touched the earth as I moved toward the fence again. A cool breeze made the gentle auburn waves that frame my face dance but my skin was cold. The air smelled different than the day before. Little Plains Road was quiet. So were the willows and the passing cars. No radio. Running back the way I’d come the night before made my head swim.

A monstrous Rite-Aid that I’d never noticed before loomed on the corner. Odd. Mrs. Lambert’s porch looked nice which is also odd because she was a registered crazy cat lady with no pride of property. Westine’s Bakery had a crisp new sign up that said, “Cinnamon Buns~ Banana Bread.” Maybe I had never paid attention to anything before. Maybe my sister was right. I told myself that she would forgive me and we would finally be happy. I would stop using a dream as my reality. Inhaling false memories as if they were a drug. Ana might be gone by now and if she wasn’t…I couldn’t decide which was worse. I told her she was the reason we were alone. Even though it was me. It’s always been me.

My door looked decades older than it did when I left last night. When I opened the screen my eyes rested on magnets on the fridge with school pictures of new children growing up. Stories of the life we’d always wanted were everywhere. Mocking me like I had been a mistake. Maybe I was. I choked back tears and turned on the radio. “Bad Blood” came on and I sighed because it seemed that not everything had changed. When the song finished, “Bad Blood” started again. The third time I heard it a little blonde child who came straight from an adorable picture on the fridge ran into the kitchen and started jumping up and down and singing. She wore bright pink velcro shoes that lit up when you stomped. Thin wispy pigtails adorned with rhinestone studded hair bows peeked out of her tiny head. I wanted to yell at her to get out of my house but I couldn’t open my mouth because my eyes were full of longing. I had never had a pigtail tie-er or a pink shoe buyer. She was the girl I had always wanted to be.

“What are you doing here? Why do they keep playing the same song?” I finally sputtered. Her eyes turned cold when she looked at me. Something was different here.

“What do you mean? It’s the only song. I live here. Who are you? I’m Marly and my mommy says that someday I’m gonna to be really tall. Hey! You look like this girl my mommy has a pictu-”

I ran out of the house before Marly could tell me any more. Ana didn’t play pranks. When I approached the white chained fence again I paused for a moment and saw a woman with auburn hair like mine streaked with silver. She kneeled in my spot where the grass had been worn down as if standing in for me. I pushed the gate open and let out a broken scream but the old women only glanced at me and smiled. Her pale blue eyes looked sick with too much pain. That’s when I knew. She was me. My heart pounded as I ran to be beside her. But when I looked up she was gone.

I’d always thought that time stood still in Amersham Cemetery but before now it was only a dream. A state of mind. An escape route made for me to leave this world with those long gone. Denying that the living people in my life would last or meant anything at all. The feeling that I liked a place that haunts too many children’s nightmares came to me quickly and I shuddered because I knew I was truly alone. Time had stopped here but it didn’t wait for me anywhere else. I had driven the living away. Graves lined with stone carved angels made of bones laughed at me.

“Come back,” I whispered to my dad for the first time. Silver rain poured from my eyes and hit his grave. I had always wanted to join him under the ground but now I wanted to be free. I wanted to go somewhere where time had a nice pace. Somewhere I could grow up and the world wouldn’t want to replace me for being a screw up.

The next morning I didn’t want to look at the world. Something inside of me had died when I saw that the world had left me behind without a second thought. I was sure that Ana hadn’t cried for me the way I had always cried for my dad. I realized if I stayed in the graveyard, I would be committing suicide. When I picked up my feet, I tried to ignore the not-so-subtle changes that had occurred in who knows how long. Except that was nearly impossible because my small town seemed to be three times louder than before, with the bustle, I imagined of New York City. It scared me to see all of these unfamiliar faces, melded together like one big gooey chocolate chip cookie. I felt invisible in this world that wasn’t mine. Actually, I always have. There is a pristine traffic light that we never needed before. The pavement was smooth and made for sports cars on my still bare feet. A boy with a strange grey hat stood on the corner handing out newspapers and yelling who knows what. I caught my breath and ran into a home that wasn’t mine.

It was silent in the house, but as I moved inwards I heard a gentle hum echoing out from Ana’s old bedroom. An elderly woman with knobby knees and sunken eyes stared at a tattered frameless picture of a smiling little girl with thin auburn waves. Her pale blue eyes looked happy as they stared with admiration at a tall lanky man with the same reddish brown curls and black framed glasses that shielded his smart blue eyes.

“Come back,” I whispered to my father for the second time. I had spent my whole life looking for him but my life had left me behind. I had nothing. I sunk to my knees beside the woman I knew was Ana. Now I knew I had been wrong. She had cried for me all these years while I had cried for father. Gently, I reached out to embrace her but when my thin fingers gripped her back It felt cold. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“I know.” Her exhausted body crumpled and went limp in my arms. Goodbye was all she had needed to move on; past the life that had been lived without me. I murmured again and again that I loved her and I wasn’t going to leave ever again. My intentions were as pure as the tears she had cried for me and I meant it this time. She would have realized but she was already gone.

The last time I was in a graveyard, I stood by a black wall teeming with Ivy and watched Ana lowered to the spot beside Peter Rust. I had spent too much time living through his past life that I hadn’t lived mine. My life seemed over though I’m still 13. I looked down at my still young hands. A cold feeling came to me now that I guessed was fear. I hadn’t been scared of this place before. I hid myself in the back corner in a crevice of the hedge. In another life I would be standing beside her.

Hanging By A Thread (first four chapters)

“X marks the spot,” the little girl whispered. She brushed her long braids behind her shoulders and adjusted into a more comfortable position on the cold, stone floor. “You will find the answer where the key lies,” she told her treasured doll, stroking the red, silk dress she had recently dressed it in. She moved another doll, as if it was speaking.

“Now, be off. And don’t get lost!” Then she stood up, tiptoed down the wooden stairs, and quietly opened the front door.

“Careful, you don’t know if this is the right decision,” a voice said behind the little girl. She whirled around, but she could not see anyone. She sighed. It was starting again. She had to hurry or she knew what was going to happen to her. The girl slipped outside, into the wet grass, and carefully shut the door. She raced across the dark field, holding her precious doll to her. The girl ran to her mother’s prized garden, and picking up a shovel that lay on the ground, began to scoop up the fresh dirt. A while later, a heaping pile of dirt sat in the dark night. She put the doll in the ground, tucking a small black key in the doll’s dress which she received from her pocket. She poured the dirt on the doll, refilling the hole.

“Goodbye,” the girl whispered. “And good luck.” She turned around without looking back, and hurried back to the stone house as golden light poured from the sky. It was finally dawn. She had made it in time.

 

*——————–.~.———————*

 

CHAPTER 1:

 

She races down the stone steps, dragging the trunk behind her. Rain pours down on her and it seems as if it’s swallowing her whole. The girl swings the trunk in front of her, and it bangs her hard in the leg. She cries out in alarm, as the pain shoots up her leg.

“Hurry!” Her dad calls from across the lawn. She squints, but can’t see him through the currents of rain. She tries to follow his voice, but ends up tripping on something and landing in the wet grass on her back. She lies there for a few seconds, not trying to get up. Suddenly someone grabs her arm and pulls her to her feet. She winces in pain, as she is dragged to the car. The girl begins to open the passenger door, but her dad glares at her.

“Back,” he growls. She sighs, closes the front door and angrily opens the back door. She slides in, pushing her trunk under the seat.

“What the heck took you so long?” her dad yells at her, pulling out of the drive way. The girl cringes.

“It was them again. Dad, they were torturing me again. They are coming back to punish me.” She could see her dad rolling his eyes through the mirror.

“Kid, how many stinkin times do I have to tell you that ‘THEY’ ARE NOT REAL.” He pounds his fist on the steering wheel. The girl feels tears coming up to her eyes.

Do not cry. Do not cry, she thinks.

“And please do not, I repeat, do not, ask me why I am sending you away,” he says. She slinks back into the seat.

“Fine. But still.” He turns, not stopping in time, and passing a red light. He growls and screams in frustration. The girl covers her ears.

 

Hours later the car turns into a moss covered alley, almost hidden because of all the dead vegetation. The car drives up to a rusty metal gate. The girl’s dad leans out of the car window and presses a small red button on the gate. After a while, a man about her dad’s age walks over to the gate from the other side and unlocks it for them. She groans. It’s Fatais. He moves to the side as they drive through, pulling up in front of the stone mansion. The girl slowly climbs out of the car, and looks up and shudders. This is not a friendly looking place. It’s dark and gloomy and there are almost almost no windows. This will be a long two months for the girl.

 

But who is this girl with no name?

Who can see things no one else can?

Who feels so alone in this world?

As if she is not understood…

 

That girl is me.

 

CHAPTER 2:

RED

December 7th 5:25 p.m.

“Your room is this way,” Fatias says, leading me up the rickety, wooden stairs. I don’t understand why Fatias always has to show me to where I will be staying. I have been here many times. It is the place where my father has always sent me when he wants to get away from me.

I unpack my trunk, and go in the bathroom to wash up after the long ride. I stare at my reflection in the cracked, gray mirror. My face looks watery and ghostly in the pale light of the bathroom. My dark auburn hair is matted and greasy, sticking to my scalp. My slanted gray eyes are foggy and I have dark circles underneath them. My skin looks gooey and sweaty. And my freckles look pale and faded as well.

Sighing, I pull the shower curtain open, and peel off my sweaty clothes. I climb into the shower, wincing as the icy cold water runs down my bare skin.

Minutes later I climb out, pulling a dirty towel from the hanger and wrapping it around my body. I walk back into my room, when there is a knock at my door. I jump, and yell, “Hold on one second!” I quickly pull out some jeans and a black t-shirt from my dresser drawer, and put them on. I dry my hair, and put it up into a messy ponytail, water uncomfortably dripping down my back.

I open the door, and someone tumbles in. I help them stand up. It’s a boy. Kael. Fatias’ son. I groan. “What do you want, Kael? As you can see I’m busy.”

He snorts. “Doing what?”

I roll my eyes. “Ugh. You are so annoying. Can’t you mind your own business?” I plop down on my bed. “So, what do you want?” I repeat.

He shrugs. “I dunno. Just wanted to say hi and to make sure you got here safely. I mean you are gonna be here for two months… and I’ll be here you know, that entire time!” I lay back on the bed.

“Sadly. Why couldn’t my Grandmother hire someone with a kid LESS annoying?” I hear him sit down on the bed beside me.

“No idea. Us Marek’s have been the gatekeepers in your family for almost a hundred years.”

I sit up. “So? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

I walk towards the door and he follows. I gesture for him to get out, and as soon as he walks past my door frame, I shut the door in his face and lock it. As soon as I hear him walk down the hall, I go back and sit on my bed. Now I feel sort of bad. Yes, he is super annoying, but I’m gonna be here for two months straight. I am gonna need some company. I sigh and slowly slunk to my door, and open it. “Kael?” I call.   

 

CHAPTER 3: December 7th 10:00 p.m.

“The game is simple,” Kael says, sitting across from me at the table. “You roll the die, and whatever you get, that’s how far you move your piece. Then, whatever you land on you have to do.” I raise my eyebrows.

“Sounds fun… and really boring,” I say, standing up and stretching my legs. “Well, tonight was ‘fun,’ but I really need some sleep. Tomorrow I’m going out to town.”

I start up the stairs, but Kael calls to me, “Cool, but lately there have been some reported murders in town, you know. If you get hurt, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I pause on the stairs, and close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Slowly, I turn around. “Fine, fine. I know what you’re doing. You want to protect me. Don’t you? You don’t think that I will be okay on my own. But I’m fifteen years old.” Kael rolls his eyes. “God, I’m seriously not kidding. Ask anyone. But I’m coming.” I whirl around and stomp up the stairs to my room.

Ugh. Curse my luck.

 

CHAPTER 4:  December 8th, 4:30 a.m

 

I can’t sleep. I roll around, over and over. I glance at the clock by my bed. 4:30 a.m. I roll onto my back, and try to shut my eyes. But I can’t sleep.

I can hear them. I can hear their whispers. The sound of them laughing. Plotting their next kill. Their revenge.

I suddenly sit up in bed and turn on the light. A face stares down at me. “Jabari,” I whisper. Two more faces appear. “Bexley? Eladora? How did you find me here? I’m hours and hours away from home.” Jabari smirks. “Girl, we can find you wherever you are.”

Bexley perches on my bed frame. “Wherever,” she repeats. Eladora floats up. “You know you can never get away from us. We are always there.”

“Always!” Bexley exclaims, laughing. Eladora elbows her in the stomach.

“Shut it,” Jabari whispers. I scoot my legs up to my chest. “Please don’t hurt me,” I whisper. “Please.”

Jabari looks down at me, his cold blue eyes digging into me, like a dagger. I cover my face. “We know what you’ve been doing,” he says. He looks at Eladora, as if cueing her. She swoops down, and pulls out my worn, leather journal from beneath my mattress. She fluently opens to a page. “December 6th. They are back. I can feel it. I don’t understand why they can’t just stay at their home. Where do they live anyway? Why do they torture me? Why am I the only person who can see them? So many questions. No answers. I just want them to go. To disappear. Why, why, why, WHY, WHY? Help me, someone. I need help soon. I wish there were others like me. I wish my dad would understand. I wish my mother was still around. I just want to have a normal life. I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to see the fairies.”

 

*——————–.~.———————*

The Party

Lying on my bed in the hospital, I thought back to my origin, the reason I was here. My IV started beeping. A nurse rushed in, a worried look on her face. She adjusted my oxygen mask.

 

“How are you doing?” she asked. I tried to say I was fine, but I couldn’t form the words with my lips. A squeak came out and she nodded, reassured.

 

“I wish I didn’t have to say this, but your condition is bad, and the doctor wants me to give you sleepy milk.”

 

My eyes went wide, sleepy milk meant . . . well I didn’t know. As the warm liquid was pumped into my veins, my eyes grew heavy. I wanted to live. As I fell asleep, words came . . . “Thank you.” And then . . . I was gone.

 

TWO DAYS… BEFORE IT HAPPENED

 

I was locked in my room and I didn’t even know why! I just woke up and I couldn’t open the door. I was a good kid, I did nothing wrong but got punished for being alive.

 

“They locked you in your room again,” my GregBear toy said. I had gotten used to its paranormal features. I walked over to my other GregBear’s Pizzeria toys. For some reason, Boxy the Fox’s head was missing. I also had the other two mascots, Chicar the Duck and Boney the Bunny.

 

“These are my friends,” I started to sob. I was locked in my room, with no freedom and not even a chance to go to my brother’s party in a few days. He was having his party at GregBear’s Pizza, and GregBear was my idol. He was so funny, at least on the TV. He was just really cool, and I wanted to be a TV star one day. I ran to the door and started slamming my hands on it, hoping I could get out. As I banged on it the door slammed into me and I fell still crying. The black started to close in on me from the edges of my vision.

 

“Tomorrow is another day . . . ”

 

I woke up. I was not in my bed, (I was still lying on the floor) but the door was open. I ran out, careful not to make any noise. I saw a clock showing the time, 5 p.m. I went into the living room, hoping to catch a rerun of GregBear and Friends. I then sat down in front of the television just as someone with Boxy the Fox’s head jumped out from behind the couch. My brother was just being his mean self. My heart ran a marathon in seconds and while screaming, I lost consciousness, hearing the words again.

 

“Tomorrow is another day  . . . ”

 

My eyes fluttered open and, through blurred vision, I saw my whole family. Together. Hoping. Crying. I was happy; but I knew.

 

“Hey, you miserable little twerp, get up! It’s your brother’s birthday.” Above me stood my step-dad, who walked away when he saw I was awake. He could be so mean, but he was a drill sergeant in the army, so he was used to yelling at everyone.

 

I got up and walked to my room. I couldn’t wait for going to GregBear’s pizzeria! I pulled on a clean shirt. My brother knew of my GregBear obsession and he liked teasing me about it, but it was his birthday, so he wouldn’t do anything bad or be mean. Right?

 

My step-dad held down the horn in our beat up Volkswagen for ten seconds straight. “You better be ready, you mistake!” he bellowed. “The party starts in twenty minutes! I thought I raised you to be better than this!”

 

I ran out to our car, but not before grabbing my secret, limited edition Mangled the Dog mask. As I stuffed it in my pocket, my brother started stomping around, most likely to find me.

 

The car shot down the street. I watched as the speedometer reached 50, 60 and then 70 miles per hour. In under a minute, we screeched to a stop. There it was, I could almost hear the angels singing and see the aura around it.

 

“Hurry up Phillip,” My brother said smugly, “GregBear’s waiting.”

 

BEEEP. BEEEP. BEEEP.”

 

“He’s still with us.”

 

“Is he going to be okay?”

 

“I can’t say for sure ma’am, his frontal lobe was bitten out by an animatronic bear!”

 

“What are the odds?”

 

“He has about a 15-20% chance of survival, his condition is worse than if he had cancer!”

 

“John! This is because of YOU! Don’t try and slink away! We have the whole thing on tape and you are going to JAIL because of your immature actions”

 

“Now sir, he is your son. You can get him out of jail.”

 

“N-O! He is going and that is final!”

 

I ran straight in. The A/C shot my hair back, but I kept going. No being restrained, no being locked away, no getting scared by jerks, just fun for me!

 

“Hmm . . . ” I muttered under my breath, “Room 3, Room 3 . . . Where is it?”

 

“Hey! Mini-John!” Oh boy. My brother’s friends, ready to tease me. “C’mon, the cake is over here!”

 

I could hear it in their voices. There was no cake, at least, not for me. No fun, at least, not for me. They only came to torment me. Sure, I could call for Dad, but he didn’t even care about me. So, head hung low, I walked over to them and into the room. And, of course, the cake was chocolate, the one thing I was allergic to. I had to admit, my brother had planned a good party, but not for me. They had masks, balloons, colorful lights, streamers and confetti. They even had all-access passes to the arcade, and the stage with the GregBear Band on it.

 

“Phillip. If you can hear me, wiggle your finger.”

 

“BEEEP….BEEEP….BOoooooP.”

 

“We’re losing him!”

 

“Get the EHD!”

 

“No! He could lose all brain power!”

“Well, we can fix that!”

 

“NO, WE CAN’T!”

 

“Phillip! Before you go, I need to say-”

 

“Ma’am, this is a class 4 emergency! We need you to move-”

 

“This is unit 12-4 calling for backup. We have a patient with less than 50 bpm on our hands, over.”

 

“Copy that, sending backup, over and out.”

 

“Well Phillip, we know you love GregBear,” Lloyd, my brother’s friend, said, “So, we got you an all-access pass, too!”

 

On the outside, I kept a straight face, but on the inside, I was screaming with joy. A chance to see my Idol meant that things really were looking up! As we walked to the entrance of the main party room, I heard my brother snickering. He whispered something to Lloyd, and they both had a good laugh, evilly.

 

“Welcome to GregBear’s Band Arena!” a staff member said cheerfully. “We have a great show for you today! So take a seat, and I’ll leave you party animals to yourselves! Uh, but don’t get too close to GregBear, he needs his space too! Heh!”

 

No, don’t go, I wanted to call out to her. Couldn’t she see that sneaky look creeping over my brother’s face? No one seemed to understand that if rules could be broken, teenagers would break them. The lights started flashing as GregBear and his band rolled out. A spotlight landed on each one of them, their fur shining GregBear’s goldish orange, Chicar’s yellow, Boney’s purple and Boxy’s red.

 

“Welcome to our special performance,” GregBear said metallically, “Would the birthday gir . . . boy please come over with at least one friend?”

 

“Hey guys,” my brother said, “How about we all go over to GregBear!”

 

Wait? Did he mean me? Probably not, but . . .

 

Repeat, this is unit 12-4, we need backup, we need backup, over.”

 

“Copy that, we are sending the EMT upstairs right now. Try and wake the patient up, maybe with some meds, over and out.”

 

“Meds! That’s it”

 

“Uh, doctor?”

 

“Yes ma’am?”

 

“Is it normal for a patient to jerk around like that?”

 

“No, call for help! We need the best staff here NOW!”

 

“Unit 12-4 here, EMT has not arrived and patient is having violent spasms! We need a neuroscientist up here, and quick, over and out.”

 

“He’s flat-lining!”

 

“What is happening?”

 

“C’mon Phillip!” Lloyd shouted, “We didn’t get you a pass, just for you to sit there!”

 

What!? They . . . they were being nice . . . to me. I stood up and practically floated towards them on a cloud of happiness.

 

“Yeah Phillip,” my brother smirked, “We want you to get a nice, up-close talk with GregBear!”

 

Before I could get away, I was lifted up by eight sweaty hands and flipped onto my stomach. They pushed me towards GregBear as he said, “Happy birthday JOHN! Let’s sing the best-day song! So join in, and follow along!”

 

GregBear’s teeth chomped, as if it was supposed to look like singing. They gnashed, up, down, up, down. They pushed me so close, I could feel the cool metal of GregBear’s chin on my forehead.

 

“Up a little higher boys!” my brother said, “Now Phillip, give GregBear a little kissy-kissy!”

 

“It’s your best daaaaaay! Today! Birthday! Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy day!”

 

“GregBear will only love you if you love him!”

 

“He’s not in a coma!”

 

“Then how has he flat-lined without brain damage?”

 

“Should we do an MRI?”

 

“Not now! We don’t even know if he’s alive!”

 

“Wait! He’s coming up!”

 

“BEEEP…. BEEEP…. BEEEP…BEEEP.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“Nothing!”

 

“He’s having a heart attack!”

 

“BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP”

 

“WHAT IS GOING ON?”

 

“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”

 

Time seemed to slow down, probably my fight or flight instincts kicking in. GregBear’s white teeth shined bright under the spotlights, but were tinted a pinkish-red, not from the spotlight. I could see the dulled shine of a rusty exoskeleton through his mouth.

 

“Haaaaave….a great day!”

 

GregBear’s teeth were pointy and sharp, as if he was a killing machine. I was being pushed, inch by inch closer to his mouth. Two hands moved onto the bottoms of my shoes and pushed me forwards while the other six rolled me forward the way a conveyer belt would. I couldn’t give him a kiss even if i wanted to, I was almost in his mouth.

 

“Heh, Heh, HEH! We hope you have a great time today JOHN! We also…”

 

Closer and closer. Why so close? I didn’t know. Under his lips as they moved up, and down towards my head. They would get in so much trouble for doing this. My life flashed before me. So it really did happen! I saw my mom, marrying step-dad. My brother with an evil look as they kissed. My life was horrible, and I was going to die! The rows of razor sharp teeth falling down onto my head. Out of nowhere one pair of hands dropped off my back and I heard a shoving sound.

 

“Oomph!”

 

The other two pairs of hands dropped and I was left hanging from the mouth of a killing machine.

 

“Beeep….beeep”

 

“Ma’am, I think Phillip might be okay.”

 

“Oh! Thank you so much!”

 

“Uh, sir? We, uh, have a situation over here.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“The, uh, other patient, uh, John, is, uh, going into cardiac arrest.”

 

“OH MY GOD!”

“How long?”

 

“Uh, about five minutes?”

 

“This is unit 10-5! We have a SCA-3-5 Emergency, over!”

 

“Copy that, sending backup, try and restart the heart, over and out.”

 

“He was doing so well!”

 

John got catapulted into GregBear’s mouth, as the teeth closed down on my head. Just as the teeth punctured my skin, I saw that GregBear was going to chomp a heart! I could feel my skull shatter, and blood started flying all over the place. Some of it was mine, some John’s. John started shake, as the teeth grabbed hold of my brain, sending grey matter flying. I saw John stop and whisper “I’m sorry!”

I woke up in an white room. I had a massive headache, and nothing was clear. The noise hurt my ears.

 

“We have a heart transplant planned for the older one and the younger one . . .  well, we’ll see how he handles it, maybe run an MRI on him, but there’s not much we can do if he’s missing his frontal lobe.”

 

I thought. The Doctor?

 

“What are the symptoms?”

 

My Mom?

 

The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that controls important cognitive skills in humans, such as emotional expression, problem solving, memory, language and judgment. It is, in essence, the “control panel” of our personality and our ability to communicate. We can try to help but most likely he will have trouble doing those things, he would be considered ‘disabled severely’.”

 

What!?! Part of my . . . top? Was bitten out by a bunch of fake . . . sharp things?? Ugh! I couldn’t think straight, so I just closed my . . . seeing tools? And let sleep claim me?

“How you doing, Phillip?” My doctor was standing next to me.

 

“I…feel okay?”

 

“That’s great! Now, I wanted to let you know what happened, you are NOT a little kid. We want you to know. The bear bit a chunk of your frontal lobe, the control panel of your brain, out of your head. You might feel weird, or have trouble with basic things, but it is all to be expected. We are going to look and see what is going on, and then we might be able to fix it!”

 

What bear? Who, was this man?

 

“What aboot Jonhey?

 

“John? His heart was bitten into, but he got a transplant, and he’s doing fairly well!”

 

There was a strange feeling tugging at my stomach. What was it? I was hungry!

 

“I eem hoongry?”

 

“You’ll be okay…”

 

As I fell asleep, I looked ahead, better times were coming…

 

“Phillip?”

 

Mom!

 

“Mommy!” I shouted

 

“How are you?”

 

“I feel great! What happened?”

 

“You got an MRI,” the doctor butted in, “And we were able to replace the most important parts of your brain.”

 

“Mom?” I said, “I heard some, weird stuff.”

 

“Like what?” she seemed worried

 

“I heard stuff about John a-and me. Doctors and stuff”

 

Mom grabbed me and pulled me into a huge hug.

 

“Oh, honey! You were in such bad condition! You almost had a heart attack!”

 

She didn’t even mention John!

 

“What about John?”

 

She started to sniffle, and then sob. The doctor went over, probably to try and comfort Mom.

 

“Look,” he said, “It happens, and Phillip, well, he’s a great kid! Be happy that he’s . . . still here.”

 

What? I still had no clue what I was hearing.

 

“Mom! What happened to John?”

 

“Well,” she sniffled, “he,” she couldn’t help but choke on her words, “he went into Cardiac Arrest,” Mom sobbed out the words. “His heart stopped.” Her crying didn’t lessen, “and he died.”

 

She started to flat out scream and cry. Her eyes turned into waterfalls. I tried to sit up, but a wire attached to my head stopped me. The doctor cringed, but loosened the wire, so I could move. I grabbed Mom, and tried to help her, comfort her.

 

“Mom,” I whispered to her “I love you. You are the best Mom I could ever have. I know that it’s hard to lose someone, especially John. I thought he was a good guy inside, but I’m still here for you.”

 

My step-dad came in.

 

“Phillip, I’m sorry!” He said, “I’ve been so horrible to you, but you were born a couple months after your mom and I got married, and we weren’t expecting it. I wish I could have helped you grow up, but instead I ruined it. You know I was a drill sergeant in the army, I got used to yelling at people who weren’t family.”

 

He looked at his feet, but there was one more thing I knew he wanted to say.

 

“C’mon dad! Say it!”

 

“I love you.”

 

Toby Pannone is a New Yorker in 7th grade. He can tell you how to get anywhere on the MTA. When he grows up he wants to be a film director and he currently has his own Youtube channel called BIRDIECHANNEL!

 

Works Cited

 

“Frontal Lobe.” Frontal Lobe Anatomy & Pictures. Healthline Networks, Inc., 2 Mar. 2015. Web. 30 July 2015.

The Neighborhood Cadaver

When she was twelve, I was fifteen.

She wore a bunny suit. No one talked about it.

Before she was a bunny, though, she was the neighborhood cadaver.

Being of mixed race, and having developmental problems, not very many people knew what to do with Indigo when she was presented to them. Schooling was not something her father found necessary. In the evenings, he would leave for work, and leave her lying in whatever room in the house she’d fallen asleep in, and he wouldn’t return for days at a time. If Indigo wasn’t an independent child, she had no choice but to be.

In the afternoons, after all the other kids returned home from school and dropped their bags off in the mudrooms of their homes, they’d flood the streets and start playing random games they’d created out of boredom and a lack of resources. Indigo would emerge from her sleepy little two-bedroom home on the corner and wander down the road, attempting to find a group of children that would allow her to join them.

She’d always end up at the feet of Finn, the neighborhood ginger, who would say something along the lines of, “You could play the dead girl,” and Indigo, who was just happy to be acknowledged, would nod and wait for Finn to point her to whatever spot it was that she was supposed to go play dead.

She’d spread herself out over whatever portion of the pavement or square of the sidewalk she was instructed to, and the little sisters of the boys out in the street would creep their way up to her corpse and trace her in different colored chalk, attempting to create their own juvenile form of a crime scene. While they did so, they’d ask her questions about her hair, and why she never went to school, and where her daddy was, and why her mommy didn’t exist anymore.

Indigo would just lie there, and after much pestering, would whisper, “Dead girls don’t talk.”

Around this same time, I was sixteen, and the oldest one on the street. My job was to sit on the front porch with R.C. and Drexel, two other older kids, and smoke and play cards and mediate any dispute that arose from their morbid little games. Cops and Murderers, or Who Killed The Gimp, or whatever it was that served as Indigo’s cause of death, and in between to scrawny boys running up to me asking who was out and who was in, I would watch Indigo lie there in the street, being the prettiest dead girl I’d ever seen.

They’d play until their mothers would come to the front doors of their houses and shout for their children to come in for supper. Then, group by group, they’d detach themselves from their morbid little game and go on home covered in dirt and scratches, sweat and youth, until there was only Indigo, and there was only me.

When everyone ran home and left Indigo underneath the heat of a light post, I’d come on over and shake her awake, and she’d thank me before running up the front path of her house and waving at me from the other side of the front door.

When I returned home from the war, she was nineteen and she thought she was dying, and I was twenty-two, and thought I already had.

 

Vanilla Sugar

I keep three packets of vanilla sugar in my room at all times because I’m the type of person who goes to bed at 3:27 a.m. just because I can, and at any given time I should be able to reach into the mahogany drawer on the left hand side of my bed and pull out a packet of vanilla sugar. And I believe that at 3:26 a.m. I should be awake enough to tip toe to the kitchen and grab a carton of whipping cream and make some of the best whipped cream you’ve ever tasted, because the secret is vanilla sugar, and who cares what time it is?

And right now it’s 12:10 a.m. and I have two hours and sixteen minutes to go but I really want some whipped cream and I can’t wait for every second of those two hours and sixteen minutes to pass because not even I can resist my own whipped cream. And the sky blue of my walls matches the color of my eyes and now that I think about it, that’s tacky. My walls should be light grey to match the color of my eternal need for whipped cream because it’s not with passion it’s with longing, and light grey is the international color of rainy days and on rainy days you long for the sun. But I don’t long for the sun. I like the grey days because then I have an excuse to sit in my sky blue room with an elephant onesie and eat whipped cream with a full packet of vanilla sugar.

It’s 12:11 a.m. and I can see the snowflakes outside my grey window and they just remind me of the vanilla sugar that I want, that I need. I’m covered in a light grey throw blanket and the nest of chargers next to me is the main barrier between myself and my three packets of vanilla sugar and if I don’t get up I’m lazy, but if I get the packet out of my drawer I’ll inevitably tip toe to the kitchen and whip up the fluffy white cream and then I’ll have no self control. But if I sprinkle some raspberries on top…

No.

I’m fine with the reruns of Tom & Jerry; I love Tom & Jerry; Tom & Jerry were the first to make me laugh. Tom & Jerry can keep you distracted long enough to forget what you want for a few seconds because you’re caught in the rivalry that you know is ridiculous but you need some ridiculous mammals right now because ridiculous mammals don’t require vanilla sugar to calm you down. Ridiculous rivalries between ridiculous mammals are all I need right now. Because there’s an envelope from the Harvard Admissions Office on my desk chair and it’s staring at me, looming over me, and it’s been there for two days and I can’t manage to do anything but make whipped cream and stuff my pillow cases with vanilla sugar. Because who needs college, right? And I can’t even see how big the envelope is because I don’t know the difference between big envelopes and small envelopes and everyone knows what a big envelope means, but who got to decide what makes an envelope big? I mean, to Tom, a big envelope is a regular sized envelope to us, and who got to decide that? Who has the right to say, “If you got into our pretentious little academy then you get a nice big envelope filled with nice big forms,” and why should I fall into the trap? Why would I ever want to fill out a nice big form? I hate big forms.

Thirteen days ago, I was the type of person who collected stamps and had an extensive knowledge of psychology and brains and thought that maybe I could work with brains; maybe I could be the type of person who helps psychotic people. Eleven days ago, four point oh average London Harris got her acceptance letter. Ten days and twenty three hours ago, I strolled to the deli half a block away from my house, still calm, and bought my first pack of vanilla sugar. Ten days and twenty hours ago I started noticing that mothers look up into my eyes and reflexively pull their children away. And now, as I’m ready to tear open my two hundred and seventeenth packet of vanilla sugar, I can feel this weird vanilla sugar haze seeping from my brain to my eyes and nesting there, whispering “Packet or letter? Packet or letter? Packet or letter?” And I don’t know what’s better: packet or letter? And then suddenly there’s a devil on my left shoulder and an angel on my right and the angel is dressed in a vanilla packet suit and the devil is wearing a maroon Harvard crewneck. They’re climbing into my ears and one’s yelling “packet!” while the other screams “letter!” and  I’m just sitting there while miniature nuisances kill my cochlea. And it sucks. It really, really sucks, because all I want is vanilla sugar. I don’t even care, okay, I don’t even care about Harvard. I just care about the teeny crystalline balls of magic held within this baby blue, two-square-inch, glorious wrapper with a picture of a sugar cookie on it.

I demand my vanilla sugar in its packet like Monday morning teenagers need lattes with two shots of espresso and fake sugar, because real sugar is only for those who appreciate it. Because people who fake the sugar don’t appreciate it. They don’t appreciate it, don’t appreciate it.They don’t understand the joy that you get with sugar in your blood. Insulin levels, glucagon levels rising, trying to fix you. What is wrong with you? Why are your sugar level so high? What is up with your hormones, why aren’t they filtering it out? What are you doing? Where is your fake sugar, your Splenda, Sweet ‘n Low, but I can’t take my lattes with Splenda. What even is Splenda? I need to take my sugar like my life: with a hint of vanilla, not the fake stuff. Appreciate the sugar, okay. Appreciate it like children minus the ickyness, no boogers in vanilla sugar. There’s no Harvard ink font letter in my baby blue vanilla sugar packet of happiness, but pure bliss like high school drop-out gangsters get from drugs minus all those needles because, ew, ouch, no needles, they make me cry crystalline tears that look nothing like what you think vanilla sugar would look like nothing at all because it’s powdery not shiny and I love it, I love vanilla, I love it, love it, love it, look up to it appreciation at its finest

appreciate the vanilla sugar like catholic school children appreciate God

     sweet crystalline crystalline from sugar cane

vanilla beans like string beans but not green or gross

they make my vanilla sugar packets

vanilla sugar soul packets

vanilla sugar heart packets

not your splenda fake sweetener heaven hidden from the real life society that goes on

inside the walls of vanilla sugar wall veins

   take me into your vanilla sugar arms

and  let me melt into your carbohydrate shell

your glucose and sucrose and all the ose-s

sticky summer vanilla bean ice cream

whipped cream vanilla dreams

baby blue packet

like           baby           bonnets

Nilla Wafers probably have

vanilla sugar

completes my soul like a half-moon penumbra

The Wordwielder

The man we call Wordwielder lives in a curious little cottage, far enough outside of town to eat a whole apple before you arrive. It’s a bit taller than the oaken forest that surrounds it, made up of rickety stories that taper smaller and smaller, up to a tiny little belfry. It’s a bit like a witch’s hat. When I first saw it, I was afraid it would fall over, with the way its different floors cantilever outwards in so many directions.

I know better now, though. I can walk across the little grove, along the cobbled path, up to the stone steps. If I knock three times, not two, or four, but three times — bap bap bap on the door — then the Wordwielder will let me in. Inside, there’s a grand foyer, with a ceiling way above my head with chandelier stalactites. It seems bigger than it should be.

Once when I asked the Worldwielder about this he smiled, gave me a pat on the head, and hinted, “non-Euclidean,” before climbing the great big staircase to the places above. And oh, there are so very many places above. A bathroom like the Romans used to use, with caldarium and tepidarium and frigidarium and all. A labyrinthine library, so tall it echoes. A steamy greenhouse, lush with plantlife. An ornate dining room, with a great big table always laden with every food I could ever dream of and so many I can’t. A dormitory of guest rooms, separated by strange paper doors painted with beautiful scenes. And at the very top, a spiral staircase that leads back outside, to the peak of a minarette higher in the air than a mountaintop.

Sometimes, the Wordwielder sends me on errands. He tells me I should go into the woods and find just the right rock, one I like the best, and take it back to him. He’s never satisfied with the first one I bring though, or the second one, either. Only the third or the fourth will he accept. When he does, though, he lifts it up to his lips, and whispers, “Auriferous” to it like a lullaby. When he hands it back to me after that, it’s much heavier, and shiny, and dull yellow. He tells me to take it to the village’s market, and gives me a list of things to trade it for.

The merchants recognize me – the butcher, the cobbler, the tailor, the farmer and the blacksmith. One of them takes the heavy yellow rock and looks and my list, and talks to the others, and they all give me whatever the Wordwielder asked for. No matter if it’s the meat of the fattest cow, the most ornate silken raiments, the most masterfully forged steel, the best-tanned leather shoes, or the oldest wine. They hand it over with a smile, no questions or haggling. If there’s too much for me to carry, they even lend me a wagon and a horse.

I asked my grandmother why they do that. Whenever I come with her to the market, all the merchants will bargain for hours over the price of something as simple as a loaf of bread, let alone their finest wares. Her answer was cryptid, simply stating that: “With the debt that everyone owes to that man… they’re amazed that he pays them at all. If they gave him their whole stock, a hundred times over… they might just barely be even.”

 

One day, something strange happened. I left the cottage to run the Wordwielder’s errands, and when I came outside, I found a great formation of knights standing on the lawn, taking up the whole clearing around the house, and filling far into the forest as well. The leader, a fat man with a crown, sat upon a horse, barked at me to fetch my “master.” I started to go back inside, and ran right into the Wordwielder; I stuttered to him about what was happening, panicked, but he only smiled and patted my head in silent consolation, before gently positioning me behind him. The kingly man mounted on the steed addressed him, commanding the Wordwielder to come with them, and be indentured as a warrior in their army. The Wordwielder clearly showed the man three fingers, extended into the air, then curled down one of them, and sung, “Begone.” And so, the knights went away, for the rest of that day.

The next day, however, they were back, and I thought I saw more of them. This time Wordwielder told me to stay inside. No matter – I climbed on up to the greenhouse, and looked down at the scene from above, through its tinted panes. The leader of the army seemed more adamant today, his face growing red as he shouted, but I could not hear what he said. Whatever the conversation was, the Wordwielder showed him the same three fingers, and this time bent down two. Then, he spoke, and I heard through the walls and the air:  “Nosferatu.” With that word an infectious terror gripped the hearts of the many knights, and they scattered and fled away from the cottage.

On the third day, the legion was already there in the early morning, before even I arrived. I could see monstrous catapults and bastillas at the back of the columns, and I was afraid for the Wordwielder. I snuck around the army, taking a long route to approach the cottage from behind. I arrived in time to overhear the bellow of the angry King; “-if you do not help us now, that Nordic bastard will defeat us. And once he does, you’ll be next!” The Wordwielder only raised three fingers to him, and clenched them all down into a fist. “Thermopylae” rang out from his mouth, and a great shade was laid across the whole army. I looked to the sky, to see what was casting it, and saw a swarm of arrows dropping from the clouds, like a rainstorm. They struck the knights, the stallions, and the trees alike – nothing was safe from them. When the last missile had fallen, the Wordwielder’s clearing was a graveyard, and the ground was sewn with broken shafts and blood.

The day after that, it was all back to normal. The corpses, the arrows, all the blood – it was gone, as though it had never been. The Wordwielder acted as though nothing ever happened. Perhaps he thought I didn’t know about the massacre. But I never pressed him about it, never brought it up. I understood better why nobody ever questioned him, from then on.

Time passed. Weeks, fortnights, years. I grew taller, and less naive. I was able to put the incident from that day behind me, to forgive the Wordwielder for what he’d done. I think I pieced together what was he was. A dragon. A dragon who’d gathered together a treasure horde, and who guarded it ruthlessly against anyone who might try to take it from him or him from it. The village, and all the people in it, was his horde. I didn’t like that, at first. I thought his greed was selfish… but, I came to realize that in many ways, it was selfless, too. In the end, I decided I did not mind the dragon who had claimed my village as his own.

That is, until the day another dragon came to visit.

I was in the market, as typical, ordering the typical list of atypical items. It was then that a snivelling young man made an appearance, a mop of snow-fair hair upon his head, and a battle axe across his back. He sought me out in short order, cuffing me about the neck, much the surprise and fright of the other townsfolk. I supplied them with a calming gesture, to let them know everything was alright, but the cutthroat hissed something that sent a chill down my spine.

Lead.”

I felt myself wholeheartedly compelled by the crude command, for I understood at once what he wanted. With a parting wave to my neighbors, I advanced out of the marketplace, beyond the edge of the village, and out into the forest. The Norseman followed, having produced a dagger that he held just between my shoulder blades. We reached the Wordwielder’s cottage faster than I ever remember reaching it before. He was already there, waiting outside it, leaning oh so lightly on an ebony walking cane.

When my captor caught sight of him, I felt an awful excitement grow inside of him, and he threw me to the ground and rushed forwards, towards the Wordwielder. The Norseman roared, “Burn!”, and the Wordwielder burst into a pyre of fire. I screamed in horror, and the Norseman cackled in triumph. My mentor’s corpse collapsed onto the ground, a smoldering husk. It crackled and popped and smoked for long heartbeats… and then, his voice rang out, from the sky and the forest and everywhere else, all at once: “Muninn.” And the world remembered him as he was moments ago, and he stood before us, unharmed and alive, looking displeased.

The Norseman stopped short, eyes wide as saucers – then he recovered, and shoved his hand forwards, and grunted, “Firebolt!” And undoubtedly, a gush of red heat spewed forwards in a wave at the Wordwielder. My mentor shook his head as though to deride his adversary and muttered “Babylon” under his breath, and an unseen wall swallowed the the flames before they reached him. The Norseman squealed in frustration, reaching back to draw his axe. “Sharp”, he threatened to its head, and then charged at the Wordwielder with his weapon poised to strike.

My mentor gave the handle of his cane a twist, and slid free from its shaft a thin, sleek sword, barely more than an overlong pen knife. He lifted it near to his lips and breathed upon its blade, “vorpal”, before drifting his feet into a simple fencing stance. The Norseman took a heavy-handed swing, but the Wordwielder parried it with a simple flick of his wrist, knocking away the axe and leaving a deep nick on its edge. It jarred the Norseman, and left him open for the canesword’s tip to carve a gash in his chest. He grit his teeth and hacked at the Wordwielder again, but a meager lateral block stopped that, and another counter-attack sent him wheeling backwards.

The Norseman shook his head and steeled himself, readying for another charge, but the Wordwielder’s utterance of “coup de grâce” blew him off his feet and landed him on his rear a yard behind, his weapon out of his grip. He groaned as he got back to his feet, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw an opportunity. He saw me. “Captive” was spat from the Norseman’s mouth, and I found myself ensnared by invisible bindings, as he rushed towards me. The Wordwielder realized what was happening a moment too late – he was already putting me in a headlock. I could almost feel him, sneering right behind my ear, flicking his dagger out and pressing its edge against my throat.

Stalemate,” he mocked at my mentor. And just then, I saw something claw across the Wordwielder’s features, something I had never seen before, and which to this day I hope no never see again. Contempt. Pure, utter, hatred, without reserve or regret. That raw fury, it flooded his throat and sank its fangs into his tongue and domineered him to seethe out: “Ibis!

The Norseman’s body began to convulse, and he hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, releasing me. I turned around to see his limbs beginning to be torn off his body at their joints, and rope marks appeared upon his wrists and ankles, as though he were being drawn and quartered. I looked quickly from his writhing form to the Wordwielder, who was scowling at him with scorn. Then, I heard a loud, fibrous ripping sound, and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Stop!” I begged, starting to hear a chopping sound coming from the Norseman’s body. The Wordwielder seemed fixated upon this punishment, almost entranced by it. I grit my teeth and tried to ignore it for as long as I could, the sounds of mortification, of gruesome torture, but eventually, I could no longer stand it. I ran at my mentor, and smacked him across the face. He was caught off guard, teetering to the side, before bracing off his cane and standing straight again. When he looked back at me, his expression was changed completely: a countenance filled with surprise, and partial confusion.

A world away, the Norseman, released from his torment, was gasping, lying on the ground. Despite being half-dead, he managed to choke out, “rejuvenate” to himself, and his shattered body began to mend itself. Before I could confront the Wordwielder about his actions, my mentor was pushing me out of the way to chase after his quarry, for the Norseman had gotten back to his feet, and was beginning to retreat into the woods. When he looked over his shoulder to see the Wordwielder coming towards him, he winced out “winged”, and a bead of blood ran from one of his nostrils, and fluffy wings bloomed from his back, beating the air desperately to get him up, up, and away from this tenacious, powerful foe.

Nevermore”, the Wordwielder decreed, and nightingale wings hugged his back, before unfurling to a mighty span, and bolstering him off the ground with one devastating flap. He shot past the Norseman, opening his wings to glide in place for just a moment, then reigning them in again to dive downwards and joust him with his canesword. The strike diced through one of the Norseman’s own wings, leaving him spinning out of control. The Wordwielder air-braked with a half-flap, improbably graceful, and swivelled in the air to again face his victim. With another burst of feathers, he cut past the Norseman again, and after that the canesword’s bloodridge was wetted, and the Norseman dropped straight downwards, hitting the ground with a thud.

After that day, I did not speak to the Wordwielder very often. I did not speak to anyone very often. I left the village, on a course to the North. I wanted to find the place that snivelling Norseman came from. To deliver condolences or to get answers or to enact vengeance, I didn’t yet know. And I never decided, either–for on the first night of my journey I slipped while skinning some game, and sliced my palm.

God dammit!” I swore. And He did. My knife became briny, crystals spiking out from it at random angles as a cracking sound ripped through the air. I dropped the tool when one grazed my cut, feeling salt on a wound. It broke into glassy shards on the ground.

I didn’t know what to do, but I was scared – terrified – so I clamped both hands over my mouth, and I ran. I ran through trees, across creeks, over stone walls and between hills. I didn’t let myself stop until I’d reached the clearing of the Wordwielder’s cottage. And when I finally got to there my legs were lead and my chest aflame, and I faded to darkness just as my the shadow of my mentor dropped over me.

From then on, I learned. I learned so much that I believe some of what was already there was pushed out of my head, because I forget about what the Wordwielder had done for a time. He taught me the speech of fingers, known only to the deaf and the dumb. He trained me never to talk with my mouth, not ever, not even to curse or to cry out a warning. He made me read – oh, how he made me read – book after book after book. Dictionaries, encyclopedias, poetry young and old, play scripts and novels, biographies and histories. I came to know a hundredfold more about the world than my grandmother had ever informed me.

The Surreptitious Spy

4:09  a.m.— Paris, France

The Louvre

Alfred’s head drooped onto his neck as his eyelids slowly closed. His red alarm clock (which he always kept beside him while he was on watch) read the digits: 4:02 a.m. Soon he was snoring, not bothering to notice that in one of his security camera screens a slender figure had just pressed a clear piece of plastic the size of a credit card against the button, deactivating the many lasers that surrounded one of the Louvre’s most prized possessions: the Mona Lisa.

Quickly, the figure, clad in all black, skillfully weaved his way through the many traps that laid near the legendary painting, waiting for any predator who dared to try to take it, as if the figure knew exactly where they were. In barely five minutes, the person had careened through the exactly 156 traps that were concealed under the polished, gray floors.

Before long, the figure had grabbed the Mona Lisa, not forgetting to put on black gloves (that certainly didn’t stand out compared to the rest of his dark outfit) and then swiftly exited the room. Unfortunately, the thief had forgotten to deactivate the alarms that initiated when someone left the building; as soon as he set his gloved hands on the handle of the doors, a deafening alarm screeched throughout the museum. Obviously, the loud alarm could probably not be tolerated by most people, and especially not by Alfred who just happened to be a very light sleeper. (A significant reason why the museum had hired him, for he would wake up to the sound of very small things, or in this case, unbearably loud things.)

And sure enough, Alfred woke up the second the alarm started blaring through the museum, and scrambled to his feet as he glanced at the security camera video screen. On it he saw the same figure running as rapidly as a cheetah, making his way out of the building, or as it would be called later in the day, the crime scene.

5:47 a.m.— Paris, France

The Louvre

Many men and women rushed around the room frantically, and it seemed like there were a number of secret agents with bedhead and bathrobes. After all, it was only about 4 a.m. in the BIA agent’s home country, Britain.

One red faced man in a blue, teddy bear bathrobe came up to Richard Brown and sighed, “Did you hear that there were two accidents in Paris in just one night? Someone blew up the Eiffel Tower!”

Richard grimaced and nodded, “Of course I have! I wasn’t born yesterday.” He paused and scanned the documents he was holding. “The funny thing is, the two incidents happened just minutes away from each other. 4:07 and 4:09 a.m. It’s like they were connected!”

The man rolled his eyes. “Last time I checked, people can’t be at two places at once. The Louvre and the Eiffel Tower are practically two miles away from each other.”

Richard walked away, full of contempt. He had always hated that man with the teddy bear bathrobe, due to the fact that he always thought he was better than others and was incredibly lazy. But Richard pushed those thoughts aside and called his fellow agents to attention.

“Hello everybody.” He stumbled through his words, the nerves creeping up onto him, “Since James and Julian, the ex-directors of the British Intelligence Agency, retired a few days ago, I am the new director.”

Few people among the many who surrounded Richard clapped. While James and Julian hadn’t been the most popular directors at the BIA, they were well-liked in comparison to Richard, who was always more interested in working than socializing with his co-workers.

“Since James and Julian had already assigned people to missions in certain categories, those same agents will be doing the assignments that had been previously given to them.”

Richard started to read off the list of names that said who was to investigate the Mona Lisa and Eiffel tower incidents. He was surprised to find that James and Julian had assigned the worst agents to those missions, but Richard did not protest. He knew the rest of the agents would want to do whatever James and Julian had said to do for their opinions were valued highly in the BIA.

5:56 a.m.— Lemongene, France

The Lemongene Airport.

Two figures dressed in black sat in the waiting area of the Lemongene Airport for Flight 134. They didn’t do or say much except whisper about their missions to each other and glance around suspiciously at the people nearby them.

“How’d your mission go?” The person on the right asked the person next to him gruffly, after shooting an apprehensive look towards a 2-year-old that had been wobbling over to them.

“Fine. I blew up the Eiffel tower, so, it went very well,” The other man replied with a smirk, “What about your mission? How did stealing the Mona Lisa go?”

“Fine, thanks,” the first man replied cooly, “If all goes well, D.U.M.B.* will give us a pay raise with those gold bars we stole from Fort Knox!”

*D.U.M.B is one of the best criminal agencies in the world. It is also known as: Dark Undercover Masked Badguys.

6:30 a.m.— Lemongene, France

Lemongene Airport.

“Attention all passengers,” the stewardess came up to the microphone at the desk for boarding, “We will now be boarding rows 18 through 9 on Flight 134.”

“That’s us,” said the second man dressed in all black as he stood up

abruptly. Since they were in first class, the two men boarded the plane first, but not before giving hostile scowls at the passengers waiting patiently behind them. They were able to get a very secluded spot on the plane, and spent the time leading up to liftoff murmuring softly to each other.

Before long, the plane had soared into the air, leaving the grey storm clouds that hovered over Europe behind.

2:41 p.m.—Jamaica, New York

JFK Airport.

The plane started its descent, and it emerged from the depths of a foggy cloud, soon revealing the radiant lights of the city below.

“Greetings, passengers,” a flight attendant in a crisp, blue uniform at

the nose of the plane said amicably, “We have just begun our descent to the

John F. Kennedy International Airport. Please turn off all cellular devices and buckle your seat belts. Thank you.”

Both figures clothed in black instantaneously woke with a start after the flight attendant finished her announcement and as they saw the land below them getting closer and closer they grinned.

“Looks like our job is done,” the man in the window seat noted.

The man raised his eyebrows and gave a his partner a curt nod, “Don’t speak too soon, we still have to get to D.U.M.B. headquarters and deliver the painting. You do realize the airport is going to have an abundant number of security guards and police, right?”

“Of course I do! We weren’t trained at D.U.M.B. for 18 years for nothing. Well, at least I hope we weren’t!” The man replied as he clapped his comrade on the shoulder, he then leaned towards the other man and subtly whispered, “We’re the world’s most wanted criminals for a reason, you know.”

3:11 p.m.— Cambridge, England

BIA Headquarters.

Richard Brown slowly sipped his steaming hot mug of coffee as he sat in his office. He shuffled through the documents on his desk— they were all stamped with red print that read “CONFIDENTIAL,” and most included the long lists of assignments that the BIA had gone out to complete.

A few minutes later, Richard heard a knock on his door.

“Mr. Brown, we have urgent news for you!” His secretary said to him in a hurried tone.

Richard briskly stood up, “Come in, Ms. Jones. What is it?”

Promptly, Ms. Jones rushed inside Richard’s office, clutching an iPad to her chest, “There’s something in The London Times that could be related to to the Mona Lisa incident!”

Richard took the iPad and nodded to his secretary, “Thank you Ms. Jones, please get back to work.” She hurried out of the room as Richard scanned the article that was pulled up on the screen. The headline read, “Two Figures Seen Leaving JFK Airport Holding Frame Shaped Bag.” Richard frowned as he continued to read the article. Apparently, the police did not want to make any accusations towards anybody because they didn’t have any evidence to make their claim valid, yet in Richard’s perspective, he thought the police should have at least held them at the airport to question them. The article also included a grainy picture, which was obviously from a security camera, depicting two slender individuals in black attire rushing through the doors of the airport.

Frustrated with the Americans as well as himself, Richard slammed the iPad onto his desk. The men described in the article and shown in the photograph seemed so distinct and familiar to him, but he couldn’t put his finger on who they actually were.

As a result of Richard slamming the iPad on his desk, many of the files that were once cluttered on the desk had tumbled to the carpeted floor. One of which being the identification files for the two ex-directors of the BIA, Julian and James.

Richard bent down to observe the files on the floor and sighed, as he tried to regain his calmness.

“It is essential that I find out who those people are,” he said to himself grimly.

He gazed around at his office, hoping that, by some miracle, it would give him an idea about who those two figures were. He paced around the office deep in thought until he was interrupted by several heavily armed people bursting through the windows of his office, with the logo D.U.M.B. clearly visible on their helmets.

3:17 p.m.— Dumbo, Brooklyn

D.U.M.B Headquarters

James and Julian knocked on the door of their boss’ office.

“Bet you one Crown Jewel that it’ll take five or more knocks for boss to open the door,” Julian said with a smirk.

“Deal,” James replied, confident that his boss wouldn’t take too long to open the door for his best agents who carried probably the most important news that he would ever hear.

And sure enough, after just two knocks, the boss opened the door, Julian stared daggers at James who strode into the room gloriously.

“Sit,” their boss demanded curtly.

James and Julian immediately sat down on two, metal chairs that were also used for interrogations. Though they were a multi-million dollar criminal company, D.U.M.B didn’t like to spend money rashly.

“How did it go?” the boss queried. He sat in a blood red armchair as he stroked his dark black handlebar mustache which matched his slicked back hairstyle that he was well known for throughout the criminal world.

“Wonderfully,” James and Julian replied in unison. They had been on enough missions to know that this was the only answer that the boss needed in order to be satisfied.

“So nobody saw you? Nobody knew it was you?” The boss didn’t usually bombard the duo of criminals with questions, but it was to be expected— this was the mission he had planned for a very long time.

James rolled his eyes, “Please, boss. We are masterminds. We were the youngest co-heads of the British Intelligence Agency, and we were also double-agenting for D.U.M.B. at the same time. If we weren’t such good friends, we’d be offended. Fifty-seven missions we’ve been on for you and you continue to ask us that question. We’re your top two criminals, I would hope we wouldn’t be recognized.”
As if on cue, a frazzled man burst into the room.

“Boss! They were recognized!” he shouted, his eyes filled with fear as he noticed exactly who the boss was talking to at that moment.

“You were noticed!” he shouted, even louder than before, as he pointed his stout fingers at James and Julian.

“What?” the boss yelled at the top of his lungs, as he proceeded to walk towards James and Julian, “SOMEONE RECOGNIZED YOU?”

“Wait, what?” Julian whirled around to face the man who had delivered the news, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He crossed his arms and stared angrily at the man.

“Yeah. If anybody had recognized us, wouldn’t they have followed us back here, to New York?” James retorted, looking proud of himself for coming up with that stroke of genius.

“They wouldn’t have if they were in Britain and they had recognized you once you were already on the plane back to New York!” The frazzled man retaliated, “You know who our mole said recognized you? Your former co-worker, Richard Brown of the BIA.”

James and Julian looked stricken and all the color drained out of their already pale faces.

“That’s impossible.” James said as he bit his lip, although he knew fully well that it was completely possible.

Their boss marched towards James and Julian, his face filled with contempt for the two men.

“YOU DO NOT LIE TO ALFONSO DA VINCI!” He slammed his clenched fist on his desk, “DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG I’VE BEEN PLANNING FOR THIS? I MUST AVENGE MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHER!”

Julian gulped and refused to look into his boss’s cold eyes as he felt his heart thumping like a loud drum inside of his body, “We realize that this was important to you Boss.. We tried our best..”

“WELL YOUR BEST IS OBVIOUSLY NOT ENOUGH! You underestimated Richard.” His boss snapped back, “I must get vengeance for how the French stole the Mona Lisa from my ancestor, LEONARDO DA VINCI!”

“But sir..” James hated to interrupt his boss’s temper tantrum, but he couldn’t resist, “We did avenge him.. We took the Mona Lisa AND blew up the Eiffel tower!”
“Well you two obviously weren’t clever enough to make sure nobody found out about you, didn’t you?” their boss replied, his icy voice was so cold, James swore the temperature went down a degree or two, “Take them to the dungeon!” he commanded the two guards that had appeared at the door.

“NOW!” he demanded, noticing how the guards weren’t making much haste to get to James and Julian.

7:41 p.m.— Dumbo, Brooklyn

D.U.M.B. Headquarters.

Richard struggled in the itchy sack he was being dragged along in. His mouth was taped closed with duct tape, so his screams barely traveled out of his mouth.

He had the feeling that they had reached the lair of the criminals, for the men dragging him were slowing down their pace.

“MMMMMHN NAYAKDSSSS!” Richard yelled, and although his screams weren’t very articulate, the guards got the message that he had one too many bruises from the rough way they were handling their prisoner.

Five minutes and a whole lot of black-and-blues later, the guards stopped dragging Richard and came to a curt stop.

“No way he can blab to the whole world about the mission in here!” Richard heard one of the guards snicker to the other, “Boss spent, what? Two or three million dollars on this security system? Almost as much as that security system at the place where James and Julian stole the Mona Lisa!”

And of course, that’s not exactly what you want to hear when you’re about to be locked into the prison that this mysterious “Boss” had spent two to three million dollars on.

But, there was no way Richard could stop the events that followed from happening. So of course, he was shoved into a dimly lit cell where he tumbled onto the bare, cold floor.

Suddenly, a familiar voice interrupted Richard’s thoughts as he laid on the floor, his chest rapidly filling with despair, “Nice seeing you here, Richard.”

Spinning around briskly, Richard was frightened to see his two ex-coworkers, James and Julian, grinning at him evilly.

Clumsily, Richard barely managed to pick himself up and stumble towards the thick bars of the dungeon, the deadly click of a lock echoing through his mind as everything went completely black…

ABJ

Joe stumbled into the alleyway. His head was pounding, he could barely form a conscious thought. His vision blurred and tunnelled, focusing on only the cowering man in front of him.

“Joe- Joe, stop-” Billy shakily commanded, panicking. Joe ignored him. He didn’t even register Billy had said anything. He slowly reached into his back pocket and pulled out something long and shiny.

Billy’s already scared expression changed to terrified as he took in the six inch long hunting knife in Joe’s tightly clenched fist. He began to whimper pathetically, pleading for his life. Joe ignored him once again. Before Billy could even attempt to escape, Joe was in front of him, holding the serrated blade at the ready.

Joe stared at Billy for a fraction of a second. There was no dramatic speech, no yelling, no crying on either end. Billy was frozen still, and Joe simply said one word in a flat, monotone voice.

“Die.”

The blade flashed and buried itself deep inside Billy’s chest. He screamed, the sound echoing off the walls of the empty alleyway. Joe turned and walked away without looking back, leaving the knife, the growing pool of blood, and the slowly dying body of his once best friend.

Billy’s body had gone numb, and he could feel his life force draining away, his heartbeat slowing, his vision dimming. Through his half-closed eyes, he made out the figure of someone previously unnoticed detaching from the shadows and running over to his mutilated body. He heard, rather than saw, the pitter-patter of her sneakers hitting the pavement. He tasted her salty tears on his face as she sobbed piteously like a newborn baby taken away from his mother. And he felt her arms around him, holding him tightly as his last breath left him, and Allison collapsed over a lifeless corpse.

Pockets

It’s Saturday morning and I wake up to the smell of blueberry pancakes from the kitchen. I yawn, and get out of bed and head towards the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, see my eye bags, and sigh. I wash my face and greet my mother with a “good morning” and a hug.

“Can I have two pancakes? I’m really hungry.” I ask as I pour myself a cup of milk.

“Yeah. I have to run some errands; I’ll be back soon.”

I stack the pancakes and pour over some syrup. Once I finish, I look around to see if there are any fruits on the counter. I don’t see any. Guess I have to go get some later.

As soon as my mother leaves, I call my best friend, Lily.

“Jules?”

“Hey Lily. What are you doing today?”

“Nothing much. Why?

“We should go shopping.”

“Sure! Does an hour sound okay?”

“Yeah. See you.”

I quickly get dressed and place a few dollars in my pocket, along with my grandmother’s purple crystal. I grab my coat on the way out and lock the door behind me. I breathe in the crisp morning air and walk down the street to the corner store. When I enter, the bell rings above my head. I pick up two apples, a few pears, and a bag of grapes. I take them to the cashier, pay for them, receive my change, and place the coins in my pocket. I say “thanks” and go to the back, where the bathroom is. I get out my small notebook from my pocket and tear out a page from it, seeing that it’s the last. I put the empty notebook back in my pocket, not entirely sure why. I write, “do more of what makes you happy.” on the slip of paper, and leave it on the side of the sink, hoping that someone will see it later in the day, and smile. I leave the bathroom and make my way out of the store, hearing the bell ring once again. When I check my phone, I see that I received a text from Lily 3 minutes ago. I open it and read:

“i’m running late. hav some things i need 2 do.”

I text back, saying,

“no prob. c u.”

I go home and pack a small bag with my wallet, another small notebook, and a pack of gum. I catch up on Pretty Little Liars while I wait. I hear the doorbell buzz and I let Lily in.

“We need to see what the new clothing store sells,” I start. “I’m looking for a dress.”

“Okay, I need a skirt anyways since it’s getting warmer out. It’s not far, right?” she questions.

“No. Walking distance.”

We go out, and on our way to Topshop, Lily nods towards a sign that says “FREE SAMPLES – TAKE ONE!” and a basket of little soap samples in front of Sabon.

“Can we stop and see?” she motioned.

“Fine.”

I take one that has a pretty blue-green color, only to see Lily stuffing her bag with a handful.

“Lily! What are you doing?!” I whisper, as I look around to see if anyone saw.

“Jeez, no one else’s taking them.” Lily rolls her eyes.

We continue our short walk to Topshop, and once we get there, we start our hunt of finding clothes we want. After an hour of rummaging around the sale rack, Lily pulls out a black, pleated skirt and I find a pastel blue, flowy dress.

“Aha!” Lily and I yell in unison. We turn to each other and giggle.

“Let’s go try these on.” I take Lily’s hand and pull her towards the changing room. I go in first, and as soon as I put on the dress, I feel like it’s summer. It fits nicely, and when I checked the price tag, I couldn’t believe my eyes. $20!! Something like this would usually cost me much more. I take out the notebook from my bag and write “you look beautiful!”. I tear out the page, and stick it on the mirror. I change back into my regular clothes, and send a signal to Lily that it was her turn. A few minutes later, she comes out, looking unsure.

“What’s wrong? Did you not like it?” I ask, pointing at the skirt.

“Oh, no. I’m not going to get it.” Lily replies. “It’s just that.. nevermind.”

“Just that what?”

“Nothing. Forget it.”

I pay for my dress, and as soon as we get outside, Lily exclaims,

“I have to go. I forgot about this thing I need to do today. I’m really sorry. I’ll see you on Monday.”

She ran off before I could reply. Confused, I turn back and head home.

The next afternoon, I emptied out my bag from the day before and realized that my grandmother’s crystal was gone.  I searched everywhere – my bedroom, my closet, my bathroom – but it was no where to be found.

Frustrated, I texted Lily.

L, i can’t find this crystal. its purple, have u seen it?

I get a reply quickly:

  1. do u want me to come over & look w/ u?

I respond happily.

yeah. thanks.

I continued my search as I waited for Lily to come. My face lights up when I hear the doorbell buzz. I let Lily in, and she starts looking in the living room. Where could it be? I thought. I’m pretty sure I took it with me when I went to the store and shopping. Maybe it fell out of my pocket.

I look at my grandmother’s picture and frown, angry at myself. I couldn’t lose the crystal – it’s one of the few things I have in memory of my grandmother before she died last year. I was in school; a regular Tuesday afternoon. I get called down to the office and see my mother sobbing, and that’s when I found out that my grandmother had died. The small crystal was given to me from her on my 12th birthday two years ago.

I move to the entrance to see if I might of dropped it there. Nope. I check my coat pocket, and feel something heavy. I pull the object out to reveal the sparkling crystal.

“Oh! There it is! Li-” I stop. This isn’t my coat pocket. It’s Lily’s. I walk over to the living room, crystal in hand, where Lily is busy searching under the couch.

“Hey. Any luck?” I ask calmly. Lily pops her head out, and shakes her head.

“No, sorry.” She immediately sees the crystal in my hand, and her eyes widen. She continues shakily, “Y-you found it!”

“Yeah, in your coat pocket. Why would you take it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She avoids my eyes.

“Lily, do you know how important this is to me?”

“It’s a stupid crystal. Calm down.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s my grandmother’s.” Tears well up in my eyes. I see Lily’s face soften.

“Juliette, I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t know it was her’s.”

“What were you going to do with it?”

“Um, I was going to take it to the jeweler’s and have it smoothed and carved so I could give it to my mom on her birthday.”

“But you knew it was mine. Is that why you needed to go suddenly yesterday?”

“Yeah. I found it in the changing room. But I didn’t know the crystal was special. My mom just lost her job, and-”

“Wait, what? She loved her job! How come you didn’t tell me?” I interrupt.

“I know. I haven’t told anyone. And her favorite color is that shade of purple. I wanted to save up my money to get it done, so I could give it to her.”

“Hold on.” I take out my phone and dial my mother’s number. After two rings, I get a faint “hello?”. I explain my situation, and receive silence.

“Mom? What should I do?”

“Honey, that crystal is very special, but it’s your decision. Do what you think is right.”

I turn around and see Lily on the couch. I look down at the crystal and say,

“Lily, I want you to have it. But please don’t carve it or anything.”

She stands up and hugs me.

“But I think you should go… I need some time alone.” I added.

“Yeah, of course. Thank you though. For this.” Lily lifted the crystal.

As soon as the door closes behind her, I fall back on the couch and sigh.

That night, I get a text from Lily before bed.

“J, me and my mom wanted 2 say thnx again. ily”

I respond with,

“ofc! hope everything turns out well <3”

But half of me still wished I had kept the crystal. I fall asleep hoping I made the right choice.

Assassin’s Greed

Jenna climbed through her window. She spent three minutes lying on the floor, trying to pull herself together. That was the most fun she’d had in a month! She was also getting paid twice as much as she ever had been. 20 thousand dollars! For one guy! She pulled herself off the floor — she was exhausted from running from the cops in her high heels. Maybe she should change her footwear — or maybe she shouldn’t. It was so much easier to beat up guards in high-heels than in sneakers or any other type of shoes. She pulled off her suit, then her mask, then her shoes. She climbed into the bed and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Jenna was a selfish person. She didn’t care what anyone else needed. She didn’t care what people thought of her. She stole from people, she killed other people, she acted like a child, except when she had to act like an adult. She did her job, came home, ate candy, played video games, and read kids’ books. Those were fun, and they took her mind off things. The things that scared her the most were the people who tried to tell her to change. She was scared she would listen. She knew what she did was bad, and she knew she was a bad person, but she didn’t want to be a good person. If she became a good person she would have to care about other people. She hated other people. Other people had killed her parents. Other people had made her this way. Sometimes she would curl up on her bed and pretend she was 14 again, before her parents died. She would pretend they were outside the door, talking about how their little girl was ‘growing up so fast.’ They didn’t know how fast.

She taught herself to shoot a gun and fight, in the foster home. The people in foster care hadn’t wanted her to, so they were her first victims. She needed money, so she used her talent to make money. Killing gave her peace, and it was fun. She loved to have fun.

Jenna woke to the sound of a loud jackhammer drilling into the sidewalk. Her sidewalk. She would have thrown a knife at that ***hole, but too many people were watching. They would call the police, the police would arrest her, she would end up in jail, and she would have to spend however long in a cell with other people. And she wouldn’t have her weapons to kill them with. If she had to share a cell with a man, he would probably try to ‘impress her’ by being strong. He wouldn’t understand how strong she actually was. Then one day she’d kick his *** and he’d get mad and attack her. She’d then kick his *** again, then break his neck. And she’d enjoy it.

She stood and stretched. She was getting paid today. First thing she’d have to do was buy more bullets for her gun. Then some more knives, then food. Work always came before personal needs. What she wanted more than anything was to buy her own little island and live there with no one but one servant. Away from all the other people who hated her and wanted her dead just like her parents.

She walked out of her room to make breakfast for herself. She turned the TV on. She always enjoyed watching people react to her jobs.

“Last night, Matthew King was killed as he lay sleeping in his bed. His children, 15-year-old Annie, and five-year-old Jason, found him this morning when he wouldn’t come down for breakfast. Who killed Mr. King? Wherever you are, I hope you can’t sleep at night with what you’ve done.” Jenna had had enough. She changed the channel to the Cartoon Network. One of her favorite cartoons was playing — Adventure Time.

She never really paid attention to family of any of her targets. If the person had 50 kids that all needed him or her, Jenna didn’t care. This was mostly because a lot of her targets didn’t have kids, only spouses, and sometimes siblings. This was probably the first time her target actually had a family.

She didn’t care. The other people hadn’t cared, and neither would she. It wasn’t her job to care, it was her job to kill.

She heard knocking at her door. As fast as she could, she turned the TV off, and was at the door. The man standing outside had a smile on his face.

“Thank you, Ms. Johnstone,” he said, reaching out a hand to her. She shook it and invited him in.

He declined and took out a nice leather wallet.

“Your money’s in there. Check if you want. I know you can find me and I won’t try to cheat you out of your money,” he said with a smile on his face as she reached her hand into the wallet and counted the 500 dollar bills that filled it.

Exactly the right amount. She put the wallet on the table right by the door, shook his hand again, and said she hoped to see him again. She was lying. She hated the man — she hated everyone.

She closed the door behind him and locked all ten of the locks she had installed. She fell onto her couch, smiling. She turned the TV back on. She laughed along with all the characters as they made awful jokes with their stupid humor. They were funny to her – it didn’t matter what anyone else thought of the show. If she liked it, she would watch it.

She heard screaming coming from outside. At first she ignored it — people were always screaming outside. It would stop eventually. But the screaming didn’t stop. It just got louder and louder until Jenna couldn’t hear the show anymore because of all the noise.

She paused it and ran to the window, throwing it open.

“Shut the f*** up before I come out and murder you myself!!” she yelled angrily at the men under the window.

“S-sorry Miss.” They looked like they were trembling.

She had scared them. That was the first time she had scared anyone when not wearing her suit. It felt amazing. She placed a threatening smile on her lips and they trembled harder.

“If I hear you again, I will come out there and break both your necks,” she said darkly, with the same smile on her face. She then slammed the window closed and continued to watch her cartoon.

This episode was about Finn and Jake finding a scavenger hunt that Jake’s father had left behind for them. Jake’s family had taken Finn in when he was a child. This episode made Jenna think.

What she had done last night felt like this episode. Two kids, one adopted and one genuine. She had taken their father from them. She was just like the other people — the people who had taken her father. She had done the same thing to two kids, one who was only five years old.

For the first time in six years, Jenna started to feel something other than sadness, or hatred, or the cold fun that came from killing. She felt regret. She was a murderer. She had ruined a family just like her’s. Maybe they weren’t exactly the same, maybe the Kings were rich and only had one parent, but they had still been a family. And she had ruined it.

She turned her attention back to the cartoon, but it didn’t make her feel happy. It made her feel worse. She changed the channel to Boomerang. Yogi Bear was playing. It didn’t cheer her up. How? She loved Yogi Bear. It just made her feel like a kid.

She wasn’t a kid, was she?

She certainly acted like a kid. She felt like a kid. She did things little kids do. She ate too much candy and got stomach aches, she read picture books, she played video games, she watched cartoons. The only difference she could find between her and a normal kid was that she didn’t have parents to tuck her in at night, or read the picture books to her, or tell her to turn off the TV, or to stop playing video games, or to tell her not to eat so much candy.

Annie and Jason King had that, until she showed up.

She had been paid 20 thousand dollars to destroy a family. And she never failed her jobs. What was going to happen to Annie and Jason? Would they be separated? Were they going to a foster home, just like she had? Would they run? Would they end up like her? Looking for revenge, and enjoying hurting others? She didn’t want that.

She quickly changed the channel back to the news.

“Matthew King left it in his will that his children will stay with their butler. They will be taken care of, and kept safe until Annie grows old enough to inherit her father’s money,” the announcer said.

Jenna gave an audible sigh of relief. They weren’t going to foster care, and they weren’t going to run away like she had. People in foster care rarely cared about the children they had taken in. At least the Kings wouldn’t end up like she had.

She didn’t want anyone to end up like her.

She was a monster. All the people who had told her that she didn’t have to hurt them — they had been right all along.

And she had just realized it.

Till The End

I’m falling into the blackness, the blackness surrounding me and engulfing me like fire when it’s engulfing you with flames. I’m falling and I’ve been falling for hours, or that’s what it feels like, but let me start from the beginning of my childhood before I was in a world filled with war and death.

I was born on Earth in 1989 in upstate New York, where I was raised by my father and mother until my mother caught a sickness that was unknown — a sickness that nobody had ever had.

This is the story of me trying to find the source of the unknown sickness.

I was ten when I learned that my mother’s sickness could not be cured. I was heartbroken, but the day that she died, a miracle happened — something impossible — something humans do not believe in. “Aliens.” I had ran out of the hospital when my mother died. I ran straight out of her room and out the doors of the hospital, nobody stopping me. I fell down into the grass crying, my face in my hands, then all of a sudden the darkness of the night is replaced with light. I look to see what it is, and see a ship with blue light hovering over me. “No, it can’t be,” I say to myself. Before I can think anymore, I black out…

I wake up inside of a large area on a very comfortable bed or couch. I try to sit up but see that I’m strapped to the plush seat. I see a room, and a little farther away from me I see another room, and in that room I hear a lot of voices. I call for someone and hear silence overcome the room in front of me. Someone comes out — an alien girl or woman. She has a blue face with brown hair. She comes over to me and says, “You’re up, young one.” I’m very surprised that this thing, this alien, is speaking a human language.

“Where am I?” I ask with a slight sputter.

“You’re in space, young one, but we will land soon.”

I wait for an hour or so and fall asleep, and when I wake up I’m in a shipyard on this sand planet. I try to sit up and see that I’m not strapped to the bed anymore. I get up and jump onto the ground, immediately feeling pins and needles. I walk to the door where the aliens were before and see that nobody is there. I go inside the room and see that the walls are covered with guns and other weapons of all sizes. I grab a pistol and a handleless blade of some kind and put them in my pockets. I creep to the exit of the ship and see that nobody’s there. I push a button, opening the door. The shipyard has many different types of ships, some very different from the one that I had been in. I carefully creep out the door and jump onto the sand. “Wohh,” I say. It feels so different walking on a planet that isn’t earth. I walk behind ships, making sure nobody sees me. I walk through the shipyard and into the city. The city’s buildings are very different from the buildings on earth. These buildings are made completely out of diamond and other very different materials. I walk through the city seeing many different beings. I feel like they are all watching me because I’m a human, something they are not. I walk into an alleyway into a set of houses and see that it’s a dead end. I turn around to see a gang of aliens with guns and knives. Oh no, I think, do I really have to die today? The aliens come toward me, teeth showing. Then a miracle happens — the alien girl from the ship comes out of nowhere and slices the alien’s necks.

”You ran away,” the alien says.

“Ya,” I say. ”I didn’t know who you were.”

“Perhaps I should have explained to you who I am. Come with me — I need to take you somewhere safe.”

So I go with her to a small building in the corner of town. She explains that she is here to protect me from the aliens that had cornered me in the alleyway. She explains that they are the aliens who know about the sickness that had killed my mother, and they might have been the aliens who had killed my mother. I now know the alien girls name — it’s Nishinida. I now have a friend — someone that will help me find the sickness. We leave in the night to go get food and other materials. We stop at a grocery store of some kind. The grocery store has many different types of foods that I’ve never seen before. The fish are very creepy they have three eyes or two heads. Nishinida gets one of those three eyed fishes and some weird long reptilian-looking animal that is still flipping around when the fish guy gives it to us. As we leave, Nishinida tells me that we needed to make another stop. I follow her to a clothing store. “If you’re going to stay, you’re going to have to stay in fashion,” she says.

I go inside and see what she means. The clothes here are nothing like the clothes that I am wearing. I grab a sheath from a rack holding weapon accessories and show it to Nishinida. “You need clothes that fit this galaxy, you can have the sheath but clothes will help you blend in and make it hard for the aliens to find you and kill you,” she said. I walk around, trying to find something that fits, trying on big clothes, making me feel stupid and awkward. I finally find something that I like that fits — it’s a green jacket with gloves that have knives that come out of the knuckles, kinda like wolverine from the X Men. I settle with the outfit and take it to Nishinida. She stares at it for a little while and then takes it and puts it on the cashier’s desk. We leave the clothing store with my new outfit and go to the small house.

 

I wake up with my face on the floor and my legs in a chair — a very awkward pose for sleep but I guess I haven’t ever really slept in a chair. I smell smells coming from the kitchen. Nishinida’s making breakfast. It makes me think of my mother’s cooking. She’s probably making some alien breakfast and I’m hungry but I have no idea what the food tastes like so I’m not that interested in eating. I walk into the kitchen and find that she’s not making an alien breakfast — she’s making pancakes.

“Yum,” I say when I walk over to her.

“You’re up.”

“Uhh, ya,” I said.

“Well, breakfast’s ready.”

“K.” I sit down and eat my pancakes when I suddenly ask Nishinida how she knows that my mother is dead. “Some things you don’t want to know, John, but I can tell you something — the aliens are after you cause you have a power to destroy their kind and they think you want to.”

“Holy ***, me? How do I have an alien power?”

“You’re the alien, John, not anyone else.”

“Whatever,” I say.

“They killed your mother for the same reason.” I look at her like she’s crazy because my mother died from a sickness, not because of some crazy gang of crazy aliens.

“What are we going to do today?” I ask.

“I want to investigate where the aliens’ hideout is.”

And that’s what we did. We went into the city to try to kidnap the enemy aliens. We went into the city and stayed in the most well-known spots so the enemy aliens would come at us. We went to at least five different places before we actually realized that the aliens were following us, but when we realized we made sure that it looked like we didn’t know that they were following us. We went into a dead end so we could fight the aliens. Sure enough, the aliens were following us. They cornered us in the alleyway, their guns pulled out. We pulled our guns out too.

“Don’t kill one,” Nishinida whispers to me.

I grip my pistol tightly and press my finger against the trigger. The bullet speeds towards one of the aliens’ heads. It goes through the head, making him drop to the ground dead. Nishinida has killed at least two aliens while I killed that one, leaving two left. I shoot the alien on the right. Nishida jumps on the other alien and puts the alien’s hands on its back. She grabs handcuffs from her pocket and puts them on the alien’s wrists and throws him in a chair. She speaks in an alien language to the alien while she grabs a knife from her belt. She questions the alien about many different things and in the end she lets him go.

She says, “The hideout is 100 miles away from this planet.”

We run to the ship and jump in it, the employees of the shipyard trying to stop us from taking off. We get through all the craziness and we are in space. I see that the hideout looks like a giant metal planet in space. As we get closer to it, I see how big it actually is. It’s two times the size of the planet we were just on. We fly to the top of the hideout and land there. We jump out and a bunch of aliens come at us and start shooting us. I shoot back at them, killing one, but there are maybe ten or so. Nishinida throws a grenade from her belt, killing all ten of the aliens.

“We have to blow up the hideout,” Nishinida says, and she hands me a giant explosive.

I put it on the opposite side of the hideout from where I am, and then I see Nishinida’s ship lifting up off of the planet with Nishinida in the ship just as I start the device. I run as far away from the explosive as I can waiting for it to explode. Booom. I get pushed into space at the impact and this is where I’m falling into nothingness, into blackness, into the darkness of space.

Twisted

In the gymnasium, I’m barely breathing in the thin air. I’m next, I’m next, I’m next, I’M NEXT!!! That’s what’s going through my mind, mostly because I’M NEXT. When I hear the whistle blow I take my time moving through the cones, slowly. The stick between my fingers feel like it’s melting but it’s glued to my hands. Almost there, 3, still going, 2, you can make it, 1…I made it!! Yes, and I got 100. I run to go sit down and give my friend a high five. As I watch everybody else take their test I’m on the bench with my legs crossed. I ask to go to the bathroom but Mr. Roman tells me that there are three minutes of class left.

He says, “C’mon, Unique, you can hold it.”

“Okay,” I respond.

We are lining up to go into the elevator, now I’m in the back struggling. Then I hear wires shrieking, and everybody’s chatter.

My friend Alicia asks me, “What happened?”

My response is a shrug. The teacher calmly informs everybody the elevator is stuck. Everybody starts to chatter again, so now the elevator is filled with a bunch of 7th graders talking. It’s like we’re standing in the middle of the Sahara desert and they talk and talk and talk and TALK!!!

About five minutes later everybody pulls out work and the loud talking turns into a loud whisper.

Me and my friend are in the back doing math homework. The best part of it is the answers are in the back. While the teacher was on the phone with another teacher, we peeked at the answers in the back of the book so I’m 100% sure I’m correct. As this happened I was distributing gum to the back row. Later the idiot boy that stuck his pen into the side of the button (that made the elevator stop) came over to me and Alicia.

“ Can I have gum and what’s the answer to number 4?” he asks flipping pages.

“So you get everybody stuck in this hot, smelly, stinky elevator and you have the nerve to come over here and ask for the answers!”

He looks embarrassed so I feel bad so I give him gum and tell him the answers are in the back. Then he gets a little smirk and starts to blush. I roll my eyes and smirk.

It feels like years, but sadly its been minutes. My friend and I are having a little argument about what the correct answers are for English. We ask Emily, the girl next to us, what she got for the answer. Emily and I got the same answers.

“Ha, told you,” I tease.

“Sometimes you can be a real pain, Unique.”

“I know that’s one of the many reasons people love me,” I stick out my tongue at her and she sticks hers back a me. Then we start to laugh.

For a moment the elevator is completely silent, so silent you could hear a feather drop.

Then everybody hears jingling of keys outside the elevator. Everyone packs up so I do the same. Then the elevator doors open. Our jaws DROP!!

**********************

The teacher stepped out then back in. Everybody was confused. The P.E. teacher pushed his hand out into the other world. His hand turned orange, everybody slowly backed away from the elevator doors.The teacher calmly put one foot out, then the next.

The hallway is no longer a hallway. It looks like we’re in the middle of a meadow. But it’s weird because the leaves aren’t green they’re blue, the trunks of the trees aren’t brown they’re yellow , the grass isn’t green it’s pink and the sunflowers aren’t yellow they’re purple!! The sky was the only normal thing about it. The aroma fills the air smelling of lollipops, gummy bears, gum drops,  sprinkles, candy canes, caramel, and CHOCOLATE!!!

As I ran out Alicia yelled my name and reached for me. It was too late. My body lunged into this unknown world hoping there was a bathroom near…but I guess not. I stood in the middle of this world and it spun around me slowly but yet quickly.

My entire outfit changed, my pants turned into a white jumper with a skirt, and I had on brown and white stripped knee high socks with a brown shirt.

“You look so pale! Are you okay?”Alicia asked me as she walked out the elevator and her outfit slowly changing.

“Yeah I’m fine. I’m just shocked by this world.”

My entire class walked out one by one, slowly.

“Tell me about it. I mean there’s nothing here. No food, buildings, service, PEOPLE!!!” Alicia said with a pouty face

“I know and are these outfits serious? I mean I look like an oompa loompa.”

“Yeah but seriously what’s with the two pony tails. My hair doesn’t even reach up to my elbow. I mean what am I three?”

“Yeah, thats not the worst part.”

“ What do you mean,” Alicia said with a puzzled face

“I mean the elevator doors are gone, our bags disappeared, and no phones anywhere to be found. How will we get out of here?”

“I don’t know,” Alicia said with tears in her eyes.

“I hope it’s soon because I really have to pee.”

 

I walked away and trekked up to Mr. Roman. He’s a tall, young teacher that can be funny sometimes but serious other times.

I tapped his shoulder three times gently. He didn’t respond. Again a little harder. Still no response. Finally, a lot harder, Mr. Roman whips his head around so quickly that his neck looks as if his head would snap.

“WHAT,” he says with his face reddening.

“Whoa! Calm down.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I was lost in my thoughts.”

“It’s ok,” I said.

“Well hey. What’s up?”

“I was going to ask how we are going to get out of here.”

“Oh, well that’s what I was thinking about. Do you have an idea?”

“Me?” I said with a shocked face

“It was just a thought.”

“Ok,” I turned around and walked back to Alicia. She turned to look at me with a perplexed face.

“So, what did he say?”

“He has no idea. He practically spat in my face.”

“Wow, well guess we’re stuck here,”Alicia said rolling her eyes.

“I guess so.”

 

Soon everybody turns their head to a loud horn sound. Then birds fly out from the trees in a distance. Mr. Roman tells everybody to find a partner, stay close, and to follow him. Alicia and I connect immediately, then I feel an extra arm attach onto mine. I look to my left and there he is– Zayne. He looks at me with a big cheesy smile showing his perfectly white teeth.

“Let go of me you neanderthal.”

“Wasn’t ‘idiot’ bad enough?” Zayne said, putting his hands up in defence.

“Well, not if you’re both,” I said, sticking my tongue out.

“Hey. Why are you so–,” He stopped as he saw something in the distance. As I looked in the same direction as him and I saw what he saw. It was unbelievable, I never saw anything like it in my life. He looked at me and I looked back at him, everybody is looking at this unknown creature.

I saw an over-sized emu bird, that was maybe bigger than an elephant. Its colors were unusual. At about 10ft tall this bird had cerulean and electric lime brightly colored feathers.

“Do you know what that is?” he said breaking the long silence.

“No, what it is?” I said, with a sarcastic face.

“That’s an elephant bird. It went extinct in the 17th century. Their closest relative is an ostrich. They were only found on the island of Madagascar. They’re up to 10ft tall and can weigh up to 1,100 pounds!”

“Whoa! How do you know all of these facts about the bird?”

“My dad has been an archaeologist for 7 years and you learn a few things when that’s all he talks about,” he said and we both laughed.

“And your mom?” I asked.

His face got sober and so did mine.

“My mom died 3 years ago in a car crash. Me and my dad survived but she didn’t. We pulled out of the driveway and she was just reaching for her seatbelt. A drunk driver was going super fast and her air bag didn’t inflate in time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said quickly.

“Oh yeah, let’s go back and find Alicia and the group.” I spun around so quick that the scent of my hair filled the air. “Where did our class go?”

“They were here just a second ago.”

We both ran around the field, to the edge of the woods, and down the hill to a yellow pond with purple ripples and they were nowhere to be seen.

 

********************

 

We’ve been walking for about an hour and I felt that we passed the same tree about seven times already.  I was hungry, my feet hurt, and there was an annoying buzzing sound that was driving me crazy. We passed the same tree an eighth time around, suddenly the air started to smell of sweet, fluffy, cotton candy. A magical bright pink fruit appeared on the tree. I watched more fruit grow. A wooden post on the tree said a “EAT ME”. I turned around and Zayne was gone. I looked back at the tree and saw Zayne reaching for the fruit. I ran over to him and slapped the fruit out of his hand. The ground began to shake when it fell, it sank deep and a headstone popped up. ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy Peach R.I.P’ it read.

“Look what you did!” yelled Zayne.

“What are you doing?” I screamed.

“I’m just hungry and there’s nothing to eat–unless you have something to eat and you’re not sharing.”

“Why do you always think I have something? What am I a store?”

“Every time at lunch you have like a chocolate bar or some kind or candy.”

“You’re so smart,” I said sarcastically, “don’t you think if I had something to eat I would’ve probably ate it already?”

“Yeah but you have sharing issues. You could of eaten it behind my back and I couldn’t of known. Ever since I met you you never gave me anything.”

“Everyday you always ask me for my stuff and I always give you. I’ll admit I hate sharing but I do it anyways.” I said getting frustrated.

“No, you don’t. What have you ever given me?”

“I gave you gum in the elevator,and at lunch I gave you Starburst, Gushers, Kit Kat, Skittles, Nerds and a piece of my Hershey bar.”

“Oh whatever. I’m still eating the fruit,” he scampered to the tree, grabbed the fruit, and took a big bite.

He had a savory look on his face, like he took a bite out of heaven. He watched me and and I watched him take another bite, then another, then another. He spat out the pit of the fuzzy wuzzy peach. The seed sank deep into the soil, a mini storm cloud appeared and started raining on the pit. A pink leaf popped out of the ground and slowly grew into a tree.

I walk away from him so he sprints over to me and I roll my eyes.

“Unique? Unique help me,” I turn around and see no one. Once again I hear my name

“Unique!” I look up to see Zayne slowly floating up.

“This isn’t funny!”

He grabs onto a tree and I start laughing. However, this tree doesn’t look like any ordinary tree that you would normally see back in the city. Its big like a skyscraper and it looks kinda perfect. The trunk is smooth, like a goldenrod color with no bumps or branches. The trunk is the size of the elevator in Barclays Center, the leaves were as thick as a Narnia book.

“Ok. Well instead of staring at this tree, can you help instead?”

Suddenly I see a head pop out of the tree Zayne is holding on tightly to. I look more closely at it, but it disappears.

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“What are you looking at? Can you please help me?” Zayne says screaming, breaking my thoughts.

“Sorry. I thought I saw something.” I looked around to see if I could find a vine of some sort to pull him down. I looked under a bush to see if any vine was there, then looked behind a tree, and in a burrow.

“Look under the bush,” Zayne yelled.

“I looked already,” I hollered back

“Just check again maybe you missed something.”

I rolled my eyes and stomped over to the bush thinking about how arrogant he is. I bent down again, there it was…a rope. A golden orange rope that looked short and wouldn’t be able to reach Zayne.I picked it up, showed it to Zayne, and yelled, “It’s not long enough.”

“Just throw it and I’ll try to catch it,” he yelled.

My first attempt was not successful. I tried two more times and every time it was a fail.

“It’s not working. You don’t listen at all, all you do is bitch. You think that you’re better than everybody else and can do whatever you want. Sometimes it’s not all about you.You should consider–”

“Shh.” Zayne says putting his index finger up to his lips.

I rolled my eyes, “Who are you talking to, this is exactly what–”

“Shh.” He says in an intense voice as if he’s getting agitated.

I gave him that ‘I’m gonna kill you look’. He then pointed at the tree and I see a pair of bright blue eyes in the tree, staring at us, listening to our conversation, and watching our every move. Zayne slowly crawls the tree branch, then he falls flat on his face about five feet onto grass. The bright blue eyes suddenly disappear.

“Great, you scared it away,” I said resentfully

“How about a ‘Zayne are you okay?’” He said lifting up his head. I chuckle and run over to help him up.

“Hmm, must of wore off,” he says examining himself.

When he’s up on his feet we both stared into the fascinating tree that has a magical creature living in it. Suddenly I see a tail that is about one foot long with a poof the size of a baby’s fist at the end of it. Then we hear mumbling, and I nudge Zayne in the side and point over to the tail. The tail suddenly disappears behind the magical tree. Zayne and I approach the tree slowly and quietly, then we here more mumbling. I motion Zayne to stay here and I walk slowly over to the tree. I jump out where I heard mumbling and so did this mysterious creature, we then both leap backward with a shocked look on our faces.

I got a closer look at the creature, those weren’t the eyes I saw in the tree. This one had electric lime colored eyes. I stared intensely into them. Then the creature spoke:

“Who are you? What are you doing here? How did you get here? Why are you invading our land? You don’t belong here.” The creature went on and on with more questions. Suddenly another one appeared, this one didn’t look as bad as the first. This one had bright blue eyes, I’m positive these were the eyes I saw, they were bright blue eyes that could hypnotize you if you stare into them too long. They looked the same except their eyes. They had an orange-yellowish color with a high tabletop hair cut. They were only about three feet tall, and skinny legs with three toes. The creature that was asking me all these questions stared at me like it was looking for answers.

I felt like I was standing there a bit too long. All of a sudden I got this weird feeling like I had to let something go. Then I remembered I have to pee!

I feel my warm face turning cold like a pale color. I asked if there was a restroom near. The creature pointed to box the size of a porta potty maybe three times bigger, that wasn’t there before. I stared back at the creature like he was crazy.

“What is that?”

“A bathroom” he said with a straight face and a Scottish accent.

“So, you’re telling me I have to go in that?”

He nodded, “It looks better on the inside, than the out,”

I walked slowly to the porta potty. I walked in and it was the most amazing bathroom in the world (bathrooms aren’t really that big in my house). It wasn’t just a regular toilet. This toilet hung on chains. The toilet paper was glowing like a glow stick that you buy at a carnival, and the holder was a skeleton that matched the toilet paper.

Using the bathroom just came naturally to me. I didn’t have to think about anything else. Only that was on my mind. I had a little fun on the toilet when I started to use it the toilet started swinging back and forth. Finally, when I had my fun I went to wash my hands. The water was fine at first, then it became scorching hot so I rapidly pulled my hands back, putting them to my sides. Soon the water started turning grey, then black. The water wasn’t water anymore, it became a figure. It slowly creeped out of the faucet as I backed away. I tried pulling open the door, but it was stuck! I pulled harder with all my force. A big black monster appeared from the sink and stood before me. He was about seven times bigger, wider, and stronger than me. Again I tried opening the door, but instead of pulling I pushed, it still didn’t work. I let out a colossal scream so loud the monster had to shield its ears with his hands.

The black monster grabbed me and yelled, “What are you and what are doing in my world?” That word stood out to me, ‘my world.’ Was it really ‘his’ world? Was he just saying that to scare me? I could hear Zayne knocking on the door and yelling my name. I tried to move quickly to the door, but the monster grabbed me again. I felt like a hamster being squeezed by a one-year-old baby. All of a sudden, I see a white figure creeping on the monster’s shoulder. My eyes suddenly shift over the monster’s shoulder and I see a small white cat, about the size of my palm, watching me with its huge eyes.

“Meow, who are you?” the cat said with a sweet baby voice.

My eyes suddenly grew as big as the cats and I watched the cat yawn and its eyes focused back on me and the cat spoke again.

“Meow, do you speak English?”

“Uhh, yes.”

“Meow, then answer me.”

When I heard a louder knock, my head quickly shifted to the door, Zayne came bursting in shouting my name. He hurtled toward me and the monster who held on to me so tight. Zayne hopped upon the monster’s back and tried to take him down. The monster dropped me onto the hard marble floor. I realized the cat jumped off his shoulder and was looking at me from under the sink. I thought about how close the monster was to his cat (it was a cute cat). I crawled over to the cat, snatched its small body, and grabbed it by its paws so it wouldn’t try to scratch me. The cat gave a loud cry and the monster snapped his neck so hard he fell onto the marble floor.

The cat’s eyes suddenly grew bigger and bigger as he realized the monster wasn’t moving. The room grew dark, abruptly a portal showed up. It wasn’t a regular portal, it looked like a black hole. It looked liked the milky way galaxy all swirled into one hole. It was really pretty.The cat quickly jumped out of my hands and onto the monster’s huge chess. He meowed, and meowed, and meowed. Zayne walked slowly step-by-step to the portal. I nabbed his upper arm and yanked it so hard he tripped backward.

“What are you doing?” I said with an annoyed voice.

“What if thats the way home?” he said with a little innocence on his face.

“Yeah, but what if it’s not?”

“Then it’s not,” he said walking closer to me. Unexpectedly he grabbed my face and his lips met mine. I didn’t realize it at first, but he was kissing me. It lasted about ten seconds, he then picked me up and jumped into the portal. The trip was about three minutes of screaming and flailing. Then, by surprise, we both rolled onto the grass. When I stopped on my back and was breathing hard, I quickly realized where we were. We were back in New York, specifically in Central Park. I look at Zayne and he was laying there on the ground daydreaming. A dog jumped on me and started barking at me and licking my face. I became conscious of whose dog this is. It was Alicia’s, I quickly jumped up and saw Alicia running toward me. I ran to her as well. We gave the tightest hug we possibly could.

“Oh my gosh! Where were you? The class went bonkers looking for you guys.” There was a pause. She pointed at Zayne “What’s wrong with him?”

“Honestly, I really don’t know.”

“Where’s the rest of the class?”

“Do you know what time it is?” She pulled out her phone and showed me the time. It was approximately 6:00pm.

“Oh. Well I just want to go home and sleep.”

I was back in my regular clothes, my black pants, a white and red shirt, and my red sneakers. I pulled out my phone to text my mom. Alicia walked toward Zayne and I heard everything they said.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Zayne took a long sigh. “I kissed her,” he said with his eyes staring up into the bluest sky, with his hand resting on his stomach.

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah.”

Ghost

The road is dark. But the bright headlights light up the road. Or, you know, the part of the road I can see. There are patches of crumbling asphalt, and parts of rocky gravel, and strips of dusty sand. All I can see are tumbling rocks to my left. All I can see are crumbling rocks to my right. The open window lets in the cool night air. The headlights light up the pear cactus, and as I pass them, the shadows follow in the opposite direction. The scraggly landscape of the Texas hill country goes on for miles and miles until it goes so far into the dark that I can see no more.

I drive into a patch of fog. This is what the people warned me about. The fog blocks my view, as if it was out to get me. It’s staring at me, using the light of my headlight to see. But maybe the fog is too thick. At least I can hope so. I’m not scared, I tell myself. I keep repeating it until it’s finally true. But the seed of the fear just keeps coming back, growing stronger as that fog gets thicker.

The windy road continues uphill. The gravel under the firm wheels of my car make a rumbling sound. The crickets chirp and the katydids trill. The chorus of the night time swells and then lingers, but soon the sounds swell again.

The further I go, the darker it seems to get. If that’s even possible. Just when I feel like I can’t stay here any longer, trapped in this car, the headlights illuminate a little wooden house. It looks…somewhat inviting. I guess? I had expected something more supportive for an actual visitor.

I park the car a couple feet away from the front porch. There are two deck chairs with beaten down cushions, and an old rocking chair that is falling apart. It’s missing a couple of bars in the back and a patch in the seat. I sling on my backpack and walk around to the back of the car. I pop the trunk and heave out my old suitcase. I drag it up to the front porch. I stick my hand into the biggest pocket of my green cargo pants, and I find an envelope that reads To David, Love Mom and Dad. I rip it open and grab the little key. I jam it into the lock on the door, but the force of the my arm into the door makes it open anyway.

I step inside, and a storm of dust immediately hits my face. I brush it off and continue into the room. I flip the switch on the wall to the right of me, but the light doesn’t turn on. There is a fireplace on the wall of the main room. I step onto the porch and grab the loose pieces of the rocking chair. Once I’m inside again, I toss them into the little fireplace. But I need some dry kindling. There is a pile of newspapers next to the fireplace dated as old as 1984. I strike a match and coax out the flames from the dry paper. A flame bursts into light and illuminates the room. Now I can see.

There is a closed window on the far wall, and I walk over and open it for some fresh air. There is a couch that has moth-eaten cushions, and a little armchair with a sunken seat cushion. I sit down in it, and it collapses below me. The wind is knocked out of me, but when I regain my breath I sit up and wander around the room. It’s small and maybe it used to be quaint but it seems like now the inviting element of it is drowning in a tangle of cobwebs and dust. The mantle is empty except for a lonely, bent nail. There’s a beat up gas stove in the corner of the room, next to a porcelain sink that’s in desperate need of a wash down. I reread the letter from my parents. It says:

Dearest Darling David,

So sorry to kick you out. We hope you enjoy this little getaway! Give us a call! Love you.

Love, Mom and Dad

So this is a getaway. I had achieved a getaway from my mom and dad, thankfully. But now I would like to get away from this getaway that I had used to get away. It wasn’t always this bad. I used to be optimistic and cheerful. But after New York, that all went downhill.

I had just moved into a little apartment in New York. It was a nice little place, small rooms, small furniture, a small bed, but the rent was small too. I had always dreamed of being an author, and I got an amazing publishing offer from New York. So I packed up my home in Houston,  Texas, and moved to the Big Apple. But then the publisher dropped me because I was writing memoirs and that’s not what they were looking for. I couldn’t pay the bills for the apartment. I booked the next flight back to Houston, and drove down to Galveston, where my parents had a little beach house. But then they had just decided to take off to Paris for a vacation, and they started renting out their beach house. Which meant that I had to leave. At least they left me with a week in this house. So I left Galveston and drove into the night. And here I am. I had anticipated some nice, peaceful cabin that I could stay in. And now I am left with just a little shack that will collapse with the push of a finger.

I sit up. A yawn escapes my mouth, and I realize how tired I am after driving all night. I wander through the door closest to me, right next to the fireplace, and it’s a little bedroom. There is small iron cot with a thin mattress and tattered sheets. Moth-eaten curtains billow in the soft night air. The moon and a million stars wink at me through the window. Maybe this is a peaceful getaway after all.

I change into pajamas and slip into bed. It’s a good thing that it’s summertime, otherwise the thin sheets wouldn’t be enough. The drowsiness washes over me the second my head hits the pillow. But sleep does not come.

15 minutes, and sleep does not come. 30 minutes and sleep does not come. 1 hour and sleep does not come. No matter what, I can’t sleep.

So I surrender to the only thing I can: reading. I stand up and hobble over to my backpack. I rummage around for my book, but I can’t find it anywhere. I look in my suitcase too, and finally I give up and assume that I left it at Mom and Dad’s. Maybe there’s a book somewhere in the house that I can read.

I scurry up to the main room, and search for a book. The first one I see is sitting alone on the mantle above the fireplace. I pick it up. The dusty, red leather cover is faded and worn, and I read the title. But it is so faded that I can’t make out any words.

My desperation to end the boredom overpowers me, and I lift up the book and carry it to my room. I lay down on my couch, and the rusty springs sigh below me as I settle in. I crack the spine of the book and flip to the first page.

The road is dark. But the bright headlights light it up. That is, the parts of the road that David can see. The broken up road guides David through the hill country.

David drives into a patch of fog. His breath becomes fast, his heart skips a beat. I’m not scared, David tells himself. He keeps repeating this. And finally he believes it’s true. But he could not be more wrong.

I must be imagining this. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me. This can’t be about me. It’s just another David, another person driving at night…in the same place…with the same name. It’s not probable. Not possible. Right?

David arrives at the little cabin his parents had rented for him. It is small, and he begins to feel disappointed. He starts a fire in the living room. That holds it off. For now.

My heart stops beating in my chest. My short breaths come through loud and wheezing, and the sound pierces the silence of the night. This story is about me. But I have to keep reading. I flip to the next page.

David looks over the house, and becomes tired. So he lies down in bed. But the spirit is keeping him awake. Of course, he can’t see it. And David has no idea that it is the one keeping him up. But it plants itself in his subconscious until he is unable to fall asleep. David tosses and turns until he decides to read a book.

What spirit is this book talking about? A feeling of fear creeps through my body, speeding my heart beat, making me shake all over. This simply cannot be happening. It’s not possible.

David creeps up to the large room and picks up the closest book. He opens it up. And after the first sentence, his face drains of color. He realizes that this book is about him.

I start shaking wildly. Maybe this is just a dream. I flip the page.

<!–nextpage–>

David turns the page. He feels a chill creep up his spine, and shivers until it is gone.

I instantly feel goosebumps popping up on my back and arms. My blue flannel pajamas are thin, and they can’t protect me from the cold. I close the window and grab my jacket. I stoke the fire, and start to feel a little warmer. I can’t read anymore. Because whatever happens in the book actually happens in real life. If anything bad happens in the book but I don’t read it, maybe it won’t come true. But what if that’s not the case? What if it will happen anyway? I finally decide to keep reading, because if it will happen anyway, it’s best to know.

David sits up. He had closed the window, but that doesn’t stop him. No, the spirit will always come back to haunt this house anyway.

What? What spirit? Is it the same spirit that supposedly kept me awake?

David has no idea of what he shares this house with. It is something that has been here in this house for years, rooted in the dirt beneath it, howling in the wind around it, shining in the moon above it, part of the very bones of the house itself.

David reads on, unaware of what his future holds. David–

No. I can’t read anymore. I don’t know what this is, or if it’s even real. I just don’t know anymore. My brain is tired, my stomach is growling, my head is throbbing, my heart is pounding. I never should have opened that book.

I stand up and stretch my arms. I need to do something to get my mind off of the book. So I grab my backpack from the corner of the living room and lift it onto the table. I unzip it and search through it, past my red composition notebook, laptop, wallet, water bottle, and finally locate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was in a ziplock bag. I devour it in a second. But I’m still hungry. I search my bag for anything else I might be able to eat. But there is nothing.

There are so many things I can do to pass the time. Maybe I can write, plan out what I would do when I left this house, even just look out the window at the stars. And yet everything feels useless, everything, that is, except reading the book. It seems to be pulling me in, dragging me by an invisible rope that I can’t seem to sever. So I just give in to reading it.

David tries to keep his mind off of the book. It scares him. It is everything that he fears. He values being alone, and the idea that something has been watching him just scares him to death. The book draws him in by a force that can be explained by nothing else except the close relation that he has to it. And it is closer than it seems.

I can’t read this anymore. I just can’t. I slam the book shut, and throw it into the smoky embers of the dying fire. I am too tired to do anything else. At least the book accomplished that. I walk into the bedroom and the most ghastly thing meets my eyes.

There’s a creature. It’s sitting in the chair, hunched over the desk, it’s head resting on a notebook, open to a page of messy writing. His hand is holding a pencil, whittled down to no more than a piece of lead. I can’t explain it. It looks…human. But it is like a human that’s been sitting at that desk for years, hunched over so much that it’s spine had stayed that way, and it had never stopped to eat anything or to even stretch since the moment it sat down. Its skin is grey and covered in wrinkles, as if it’s a shirt that was carelessly shoved into the back of a drawer. He has a tangled mess of white hair sitting atop his almost bald head. He is wearing blue flannel pajamas with various holes in them, and covered in spots. But the back of the pajama shirt is almost white as if the sun has been beating down on it for years.

My heart beats. Why is it wearing my pajamas? I must be imagining this. This whole night, the book, the creature, has all just been a dream? And yet…it feels so real, so vivid, that I can’t imagine it being something created by my mind.

I turn on my heel and the floorboard creaks below me. The man-creature-thing hears it and looks up. His sagging, long head turns and he faces me. His face is the scariest of it all. He has milky blue eyes, like beads. His eye sockets are deep, and the shadow makes them feel like an endless black hole. The bags under his eyes are dark and droopy, as if he hasn’t slept in days or longer. He stares at me for a while and then groans. It’s loud and deep. The sound gets louder and louder, and then it stops. And the only thing that I feel I can do is walk over to him…it…whatever it is.

I walk over to it, slowly, treading carefully so that I don’t startle it more. I hold it’s gaze, milky blue eyes locked in mine, a staring contest for the record book. I am closer to it now, an arms length away. I could touch it. And now I see the details in his face, wrinkles on his forehead from years of worry, a hairline so far back that it disappears behind his head, white, chapped lips that haven’t seen a bite of food in ages. And I hold his gaze, steady, personally, as if I’m looking at myself in a mirror.

Questions race through my mind. What is it? How did it get here? Why does it look as if it hasn’t moved in years, but it wasn’t here when I arrived? And what is it writing?

The only thing I can do is just move closer, and closer, until finally I am near enough that there is no more than an inch between us. I grab the closest thing I can to me, which happens to be the key to the house. It is sitting on the desk, and I can reach it if I stretch. I lengthen my fingers and flick the key into my hand, never breaking the gaze of the creature. I toss the key to the other side of the room, and the creature’s head whips around to find the source of the noise. And I use that fraction of a second to grab the notebook from below it’s head. It starts moaning again when it sees that the book is gone, and I dart out of the room and close the door. I sit on the couch and look over the notebook. It’s a red composition notebook, and on the cover it says Property of David Lancaster.

No. Not again. I can’t have more of this. I have no idea of how it all got here, the book, the creature, now this, and I’m not willing to take on any more. But I know that there’s no way I can just look over this book and then set it down. I have to open it up. I have to. So I open it and begin to read.

“The road is dark. But the bright headlights light up the road. Or, you know, what part of the road I can see. There are patches of crumbling asphalt, and parts of rocky gravel, and strips dusty sand. All I can see are tumbling rocks to my left. All I can see are crumbling rocks to my right.”

Somehow, for some reason, I knew it was going to say this. So I skip ahead to the part that I know I will find.

“I lay down on my bed, and the rusty springs sigh below me as I settle in. I crack the spine of the book and flip to the first page. The road is dark. But the bright headlights light up the road. That is, the parts of the road that David can see. The broken up road guides David through the hill country. David drives into a patch of fog. His breath becomes fast, his heart skips a beat. He tells himself that everything is okay. I’m not scared David tells himself. He keeps repeating this. And finally he believes it’s true. but he could not be more wrong.”

I know who this creature is. He was just someone who had had a terrible experience in a new city. He stumbled upon an old home, just trying to take some time where there would be no stress, where there would be no trouble. He stayed at the house, but trouble was the only thing that came. A book began to mimic his life, and he was left in fear, never leaving the house. And this notebook…it’s…it’s the man reciting his story. It’s David revealing the details of what happened that one night in that little house.

I grip the notebook as I slide back to my room. But the creature is gone. I sit at the desk with nothing to do. But an idea pops into my mind. I could…write my story. So everyone would hear. I could even publish it in New York! So I heave a sigh, grab a pencil, and start writing in my little red composition notebook. I had a strange feeling that I wouldn’t stop to stretch for a while.

 

That Something I Thought Was Worthy

“This is the time to fight for something. While you are in my class, you will have to work your butt off trying to show me what you can do…the world what you can do. For this year’s project, note that I said year, you will have to find something that you want, and write to me on why you believe you want this thing. Now, let me tell you, this will be a huge project, and you are going to receive a huge grade that will change your life! Do not let me down!”

The bell rings, and Mrs. Olsen nods for all of us to get lost. I honestly find this project ridiculous. I mean, what is something I would want that badly? I mean, Martin Luther King wanted voting rights. That’s something huge. Me, I fight for what color shoes I should wear each day.

But that’s not the worst part about it. I expected to do amazing. My family, all of my family never let their parents down. My mother went to Harvard, and now she’s a lawyer. My dad went to Princeton, and he owns a business. My big brother yearns to be an engineer, and he already has some scholarship money for MIT.

Who will I be? What will my parents say if I get a thirty on a quiz, or a sixty seven? Will I be ashamed? Will I hate myself forever? Will I want to be a foster kid? I don’t know.

I have to do this project and I have to show that I can be my mother or father, or brother. I have to continue this legacy. I can’t “ignore the beautiful potential that I have.” I imagine mom inside of my head, smiling at me, and rubbing my back.

Walking home, I feel like an inspector, waiting for the next wrong move. My eyes grow huge with every falling leaf on the floor.

I am finally home. I knock on the door, and see my Mom on the other side. I smile, and go inside.

“What happened at school today?” Mom asks.

“Nothing. Just a project,” I say.

“Mmm. Well, I trust that you will do amazing. Not good, or great. Amazing.”

“Thanks, Mom.”She smiles, and goes to the kitchen. I follow her. I sit at the table, and watch her cook. I happen to look out the window. I see my mom’s old plant. It looks like it’s wilting. Mom completely ignores it. It’s as if it could survive on its own. No one to hold. I go to the window, and touch the plant. It’s not dead yet. It’s almost dead, but not quite. Mom is cooking with all of her kitchen stuff. She has an apron, a hat and everything. She stands up straight, and walks only when she has to. Unlike me, when I see a burning stove, I run to that stove and try to solve the problem. With mom, she know how to do everything, and nothing ever goes wrong. I feel like the opposite of what she is. She knows what to do, and knows that it will never go wrong. With me, I have to hope it never goes wrong.

I eye the plant more closely, and I see something. It’s will to live. I see how hard it tries. I touch it’s rough surface, and see how hard it is to pick its little leaf up. I see the brown-black edges of the leaf, and I see how old the soil looks. I want to help it. I can help it. With my history project. This is what I was meant for. I look at Mom.

 

“Hey Mom, do you need this plant?” I ask.

“No. Why is it still there? I told Thomas to throw it out,” Mom says.

I am hurt. I’m glad my brother forgot to throw it out.

“Teresa? Dear, why do you look hurt?” Mom asks.

“Why would you ever think of throwing it out?” I ask.

“It’s about to drop dead.”

“But it’s only wilting. Don’t you see the potential it has? Don’t ignore it.”

“Teresa, take the stupid plant if you want to, alright?”

“Thank you. I will make this a beautiful plant. You’ll see.”

I walk to my room, and I hear Mom sigh in the background. I will prove my mother wrong, and show my family how good I am. I stomp into my brother’s room, and go inside. I look at all the awards he has gotten from his engineer stuff. He basically has his future planted out. I look down at my plant, and smile.

“What are you doing here, Teresa?”

I turn around, and see my brother with a friends, and they both look at me. Thomas. He just has to ruin everything.

“I asked you a question,” Thomas says, with anger.

“Um, I need paper,” I answer.

“Go to the printer room.”

“There is no paper in the printer.” That’s a lie. I filled it this morning.

“Liar. We were just there. There’s a whole stack of paper.”

“Ooh! Right. My bad. Well, can I get paper?”

“Ugh, fine! Just get out of my room!”

He hands me paper, and takes my arm and tries to pull me out of the room.  I lose balance, and I feel the plant almost falling down. No! I have to save the plant. It can’t die now. I take my right arm, and punch him in the arm. That was really his face. Uh-oh.

“Ow. Ow. Why did you do that?” Thomas screams, and closes his door shut. I look down at my plant. The plant is the only thing that matters now.

I run to my room, and close the door. I place my plant on my desk, and sit down on my chair. I try to find some way to make the plant unique. A name! Perfect, a name. George. George. That’s a cool name for a plant. I’m hoping. I run to the sink, and see my brother at the sink with a napkin to his nose. Great.

I walk past him, and open a cabinet for water. I use a nearby marker, and label it ‘George.’

I fill the cup with water, and I walk back to my room.

“You are weird. You know that?”

I am sitting down in my room, when I see my brother’s friend in the doorway.

“Um, what do you want?” I ask.

“That plant pot. It has a name,” he says.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Plants don’t have names.”

“They can have whatever they want to have. Stop being a jerk. Why don’t you go check on my brother’s broken nose instead of on my plant, okay buddy?”

“Alright. I’m sorry. My name’s Frank.”

“Well Frank, next time pick on something breathing like you.”

“What are you-”

“Leave me alone.”

“Okay, weirdo.”

He just called me a weirdo. For loving plants! Well, if weirdos care for all of the world, then yeah, I’m a weirdo.

The windows turn dark, and George looks tired. I smile at him one more time, and climb into bed.

When I wake up, George isn’t here. I get up fast. Where is George?

Where

is

George?

I run to the kitchen and see a plant by the window. George. Thank goodness.

I go to the window, pick up George, and sit down.

Mom shakes me awake. I’m on the kitchen counter. I hold George in my hands.

“Teresa? What happened?” Mom asks.

“I don’t know,” I say.

“You were sleeping with a plant.”

“Oh, George? He doesn’t mind.”

“George? Are you going through a mental state?”

“No. Why would you say that?”

“Doesn’t matter. You will have to have breakfast at school instead. I’m running late for work.”

“Okay.”

I go to my room with George in my hands. I wear sweats and go to get my bookbag. I get my coat, and walk out the door. George still in my hands.

—-

I’m finally in school. I see my friend Laura. She smiles.

I go to her and sit at the table for breakfast.

“So, what’s new?” She asks.

“Nothing much,” I say.

Laura smiles, and pulls out a container of salad. I freeze. Salad. That’s a plant. Why are we eating plants? Lettuce. How could she?

Laura takes a fork and grinds the lettuce. A murderer. My friend?

She holds her fork, and picks some lettuce up with it. I take my hand and knock her fork down. She jumps and looks at me with a startled expression. I look at her and give a nervous smile.

“What was that for?” Laura yelled.

“Um, you can’t eat plants. You were killing that plant,” I said.

“You can eat lettuce, Teresa! They are given to us by grocery stores! You can buy them to eat! Why are you suddenly this care-for-the-plant girl?”

I take off my bookbag. I open it and see George falling apart. One leaf fell off. I gasp. Laura looks at me. She walks over and looks at my plant. She rolls her eyes.

“Seriously?”  She says.

“Um, yeah. Hello, plants are people too,” I say.

“No, they are not! Do they have legs?”

“No-”

“Then they aren’t people.”

“Laura! I don’t think I know you anymore. I think we need a break.”

“Are you serious? Teresa, you’re crazy.”

I’m crazy. I’m crazy, and she just said plants aren’t people. Yeah, okay Laura. Two can play at that game.

“I’m not crazy,” I start, “You’re just too selfish to look around at the beauty all around you.” I pull my plant out. “This poor thing can’t survive on its own.” I suddenly looks down, and notice how it looks worse. “Oh no. Give me water, now!”

Laura looks puzzled.

“Don’t just stand there like a statue! Help me!” I yell.

“I-I don’t know…” Laura starts.

“I said help me! What don’t you understand Laura?”

She goes in her bag, and gets some water. She holds it to herself.

“Laura, my best friend. Give me the water,” I say.

She shakes her head.

“Ugh!” I say.

I reach across the table, and grab the water bottle. Laura looks a little mad. I uncap the bottle and pour it on the plant. The soil gets wet, and I sigh relief. Laura grabs the water bottle from me, and walks away.

I think I might have lost a friend.

I think I really hurt my brother.

I think I freaked out his lame friend.

Just for wanting to save a plant.

Wow.

Mrs. Olsen looks happy. I never know why. I take out my plant. I get the weird stare.

“Aww. Teresa has a plant as a friend since there are no humans who want to be her friend.”

I look behind me, and Maya Maystein laughs. I roll my eyes.

Mrs. Olsen says, “Everybody, half the class work on the year project, and half the class work on the actual lesson. Work!”

I get out some paper, and look at George. I write some details on how I will decide to save George. Mrs. Olsen looks at me. Then she walks to me.

“Hello, Mrs. Olsen.” I say.

“What are you doing, Teresa?” she says.

“Oh, I am writing about how I will save my plant from dying.”

“That is something revolutionary?”

“I believe so. Saving an organism-”

“That is not a real person, not something MLK would have fought for, dear.”

“But death-”

“That is not a person you are trying to save.”

“Mrs. Olsen-”

“Teresa, find another project.”

I am shocked. Saving a plant is a big deal! That woman!

“I believe this is a good project, Mrs. Olsen” I say, standing up.

“Then you can write how in detention,” she says.

I put my head down. I feel tears in my eyes. Oh, brother.

 

I walk into the room. Dread is running through me. The walls are cracked. The chairs are old. The tables have eraser shavings all over them. The walls are painted blue, a sad color. Depression. A kid picking his nose. Ugh! I can’t do this. I cannot.

The teacher opens eyes wide. Yeah, I haven’t been here. Ever.

“Um, Teresa, are you sure you’re in here?” the teacher asks.

“Y-yeah. Mrs. Olsen,” I say.

The teacher checks her lists, and sees I’m in the correct spot. I wished those blue eyes would tell me to leave this room.

The teacher is on the phone contacting my mother. She looks at me. The gets up and walks out the room. She comes out five minutes later.

In five minutes, I hear my mother yell in the hallway.

“This is unbelievable! I want my daughter…yes! I’m getting her, okay… okay.”

I put my head down. Oh, mother. She comes into the room. Did I pack George? Yeah. He’s in my bag. I stand up. She glares at me. Great. The face of shame.

—-

“I cannot believe you screwed up your project. I told you to do amazing, but-” Mom starts. We are in the kitchen. I sit on the table. As long as I listen, she doesn’t really care what I do.

“Maybe you’re setting too high a bar,” I said.

She’s puzzled.

“Too high a bar? Your brother already has money to go to MIT. It’s humanly possible, Teresa!”

“I get it. Thomas is this big shot. But do you ever think of helping me?”

“I never got helped. It was me, or fail.”

“Yeah, yeah, the world sucks. I know.”

“Teresa, you better look me in the eye and tell me you don’t care, if this is what you

produce.”

Bam. She shot me. I end up becoming silent. I do care. But Mom doesn’t get it. She never did. I guess she wants me to be the next huge thing.

I look at her. I jump off the table, and get my bag and get out to go to the hallway. I open my bag. I forgot George. I forgot George. I forgot him.

—-

“Teresa, are you okay?” Thomas says, peeking out of his room.

I hadn’t realized I was on the floor leaning against the wall.

“What do you care?” I mumble.

He chuckles.

“I care about my sister. I do.”

I look at him. I motion for him to sit next to me. He pretends to think about it, then sits next to me.

“So, how does it feel to be the next big thing?” I ask.

“Ugh, awful. Mom and Dad are always on my back. ‘Not good, not great, but amazing!’’” Thomas says.

I laugh.

“Yeah. I went to detention. My history project sucks.”

“Oh, then you are already dead.”

I look down at the ground.

Thomas lightly hits my shoulder.

“Hey, that’s a joke,” Thomas says.

“No, it’s true,” I say.

“Just do a better history project. Show Mrs. Olsen that Teresa can take a punch.”

I look at him. He’s right. Mrs. Olsen hasn’t seen the last of Teresa.

“You’re right,” I say.

“Yeah?” He asks.

I look at my hands. I stand up. I hold out my hand for Thomas to get up. He takes it and stands up. I smile. Teeth showing and everything. George is just a plant. I have more important things to worry about. Bad things happened because of George. I need to break free. I will break free.

“Yeah,” I finally answer him. I hug him, and run to my room.

My computer is opened, I’m typing. Typing. Finding something new. Going somewhere else. Finding the something that’s worth obsessing over.

Especially Not You

Alaina Wynn remembered the last time she was really, actually happy. It was because of a vague and distant memory, of an eight-year-old girl and an eight-year-old boy.

It was Alaina and Bear, and it always had been. Forever, Alaina and Bear, Bear and Alaina. They spent every summer at Bear’s house in Essex, NY, a tiny town in the Adirondack Mountains, and at the end of the season they would go their separate ways— Alaina to Manhattan, and Bear to his home in Pennsylvania.

There was a field, and it was a field was full of wildflowers, yellow and purple and white clouds on a sky of tall grass. Bear’s family never tended this field, and the children liked it that way. They would lie there for hours, but that night, in Alaina’s memory, there was a storm, and Alaina loved storms. So she took Bear by the hand and led him into the field, and they lay there, holding hands. The rain started, and the thunder, and even the lightning, but they didn’t move a muscle, counting the seconds between the thunder and lightning. When their parents found them in the morning, frantic and scared, the wildflowers had all wilted. It might have been the heaviness of the rain, or maybe lightning had struck, but they never grew back.

Neither Alaina or Bear remembered the first three summers, nor did anyone expect them to. Their moms, Georgia and Sasha, met while pregnant with the both of them. They both had strange urges to bet money— and how many pregnant women can you spot at a casino? So they became friends, bonding over their mutual love of cats and 80’s pop. They both gave birth June 25th, in the same hospital. They knew at that moment that their children would be best friends for life. They were big believers in miracles. Alaina turned out not to be.

The families spent every summer after that in Bear’s parents’ country house in the Adirondack mountains. The children were summer friends, never managing to keep in touch over the year. There was a magic that only existed in the woods behind the house, and the field in front of the woods. They would stay up late whispering every night, telling stories about their school years. Bear talked more, Alaina listening in silence. He told her about his friend Thomas, and how they always ate lunch together by themselves because no one would sit with them. Alaina was always a mystery to Bear. He knew her best in the world, and somehow didn’t know her at all.

This went up until the twelfth summer, when Sasha — Alaina’s mom — decided it would be better to have the two sleep in separate rooms. Georgia — Bear’s mom — was completely against it, but Sasha always won, so Alaina left the little room with the blue walls and the two twin beds and moved down the hall to the guest bedroom, with the yellow walls and the one queen bed. Bear missed waking up and seeing the black curls on the pillow next to him.

For the next four summers, everything changed. Braces went on and came off, awkward stages came and went. Bear and Alaina drifted far, far apart. When they were thirteen, Alaina went to summer camp for the entire summer. It seemed to Bear that she didn’t care anymore, that their summers didn’t matter to her. So summer fourteen he decided to bring along his one and only friend, Alex. He wished that Alaina would come, that she could see that he wasn’t alone without her.

And she did come. Her eyes were black all around, a mess of charcoal eyeliner, a black chaotic blur. It contrasted with the deep green of her eyes, making them brighter and yet masking them. He saw her ripped shirt and tiny shorts, her army jacket and combat boots. It was a change he didn’t expect from such a happy person. It made her look dark and sad. He wanted to hug her and tell her all his secrets. He wanted her to tell him everything, too. But she didn’t talk to him. She didn’t even look at him.

“ALAINA!” he wanted to scream, “IT’S ME, BEAR!” But he didn’t. He ignored her right back, as hard as it was. Anyway, he had Alex. Alaina spent all her time in her room. Sometimes he saw her curled up with a book. He often took walks alone in the woods, revisiting the trees he climbed with Alaina, or the rock clusters they had explored.

One time he came back and saw Alaina and Alex sitting in the living room, laughing. She didn’t even have her book. Bear didn’t think anything of it— in fact he was glad that his two best friends were bonding. But for some reason, when he came in, the laughing stopped. So, seeing he wasn’t wanted, he left. Twenty minutes later, his mom called for dinner, so he went to find Alex and Alaina. They weren’t in the living room, so he checked the field.

“ALAINA!”, he called. “ALEX! he heard shuffling in the tall grass about 20 feet in front of him. He ran to it, hoping to see his friends. And he did. He saw Alex, with lipstick on his mouth and face, and he saw the shadow of a girl he once knew running into the woods. He ran as fast as he could after her, flashing Alex the most scornful look he could muster up as he went. He ran purposefully, knowing exactly where to go. He ran down the path until there was no path. He ran until he reached a large rock, covered in moss and fungus. He stopped all of a sudden, knowing she was there but still somehow surprised to see her.

“Do you ever think about this rock?” she asked.

“Alaina—”

“Do you? I mean, we spent our childhood on this rock. We don’t even know its name! We never even asked.”

“You’re insane,” he told her.

“No, I’m not. Just curious. Like, come here,” she grabbed his arm and pulled him down next to her. They lay on the rock, face to face. Bear felt her breath brushing against him.

“You see this mushroom? To someone, this mushroom is a tree. And this is their grass, and we’re killing it. Did you ever think about that? We’re so oblivious to everything around us, that we don’t even realize that we’re destroying an entire ecosystem.”

“Alaina, stop,” Bear insisted, sitting up.

“I didn’t mean to,” she said, still talking to the space next to her.

“Don’t give me that. You knew what this would do to me. You know how I feel. Why? Why would you do this to me?”

“You don’t love me, Bear.”

“I do, Alaina. You really think he loves you and I don’t?”

“He doesn’t love me. I don’t love him. I kissed him, that’s it. You don’t need love to kiss someone.” Her head was down, but she didn’t seem ashamed.

“You really think that’s the point here?”

“No, Bear, that’s not the point here. But you don’t know what love is. I love you because you are summer, and innocent and kind. But you can’t love me. No one can love me.”

“I do love you, Alaina. Why don’t you believe me?” he pushed.

“What do you know about me? You know me here, and here I am not me. You don’t know me at all,” she said, sitting up suddenly.

“You’re my best friend. I know everything about you!”

She laughed. “Wait, you’re serious? What do you know, tell me, if we haven’t had a straight conversation since I moved out of the room. No one knows me, especially not you.”

He paused, realizing how true this was. She was a mystery to him, and yet he knew that he loved her like he had never loved anyone before. She stood up and walked away, her bare feet skipping gracefully and purposefully over twigs and rocks, leaving him to murder the tiny mushroom people alone.

Andrea Perspective

Our king is growing old, like the pale yellow flower that used to grow on my bedroom windowsill. I pay close attention to our king. I can do that because he is also my father.

Choosing Day is less than a month away, the sacred day when our king will choose which of his children will take the throne once he has passed away. My father is named Benjamin. My name is Andrea and I was born two minutes after my brother Serious and three minutes before my sister Sae. We are triplets.

Tonight will be the Feast of June. Every month we have a big feast, just us four. We only get to have that on these special days. We catch up on our lives. We barely get to see each other during normal days. We do have to run a palace after all. Our kingdom is obsessing over which one of us triplets will be chosen to wear the crown at the coronation celebration.

 

Our red-carpeted stairwells are wide, with solid gold banisters and steps. That evening I rush to get to the Feast of June in time. I run from my bedroom to the stairs while pinning my long brown hair back on the side of my head. I reach the the stairwell and stop to make sure that the pin is secure in my hair. I’ve never really walked down the stairs— I usually slide down the long gold banister. It is easier (and way more fun). Without a moment’s hesitation, I jump up onto the railing and slide quickly down. I can see Sae sliding down the banister ahead of me, her black braids flying out behind her.

“Beat you!” a shout from below calls. I recognize it as my brother Serious’s voice. He wants to win everything.

“I’ll get you next time,” says Sae. They must have been racing each other. They do that often.

Finally I reach the bottom and I jump off the railing to an extraordinary sight. The table has the greatest amount of food that it has ever had. My favorite part is the huge chocolate fountain in the middle of the table. The table has a green silk tablecloth that magically cleans up any mess that is dropped or spilled on it. I sit in my place next to Serious and across from father.

“We have much to discuss, my children,” says father, his eyes never leaving his plate. He is a very tall man with a long beard and a silky purple robe.

“We always do,” says Serious.

“This is more important than usual,” says father. “As you know, I am growing old and I must decide which one of you is to take the throne when I am gone.”

He sucks in his breath at this moment, like he is afraid of what will become of the palace once he is gone.

“So…” says Sae eager to find out what Father will say next. I glare at her.

Father glares at her as well.

“So,” he says. “I have arranged a competition over who will get the throne. You will each get one apprentice of your choice to help you find the most valuable thing in the world.”

“So,” Father continues. “By tomorrow you must choose your apprentice. You will leave at noon and must be back on July 8th, the day before Choosing Day. If you do not return by then we will assume that you are…dead.” Father pauses and laces his fingers together. He looks down. We all do.

Finally, he says, “Does anyone have any questions?”

“What if we want to do it alone?,” asks Serious.

“That would be fine,” says father. “But you might want some help.”

“What if we can’t find the most valuable thing in the world?” Sae asks.

“Remember it doesn’t have to be a thing,” says father.

Serious rubs his black goatee. We eat the rest of our dinner in silence. When it is time for the chocolate fountain, I grab a strawberry in each hand and dip it inside the fountain. Chocolate covers my hands. I rush upstairs. Sae follows me upstairs. When I reach the fourth floor, I go to my bedroom. My bedroom has light green walls and a bed with a purple lace canopy. I lie down on my bed and eat my strawberries, then lick my fingers. My flowy white dress feels uncomfortable but, I am too tired to change clothes. I have too much to think about. Who will I choose to be my apprentice? What the heck is the most valuable thing in the world?

I don’t know.

My servant and friend Serenity comes into my room with two glasses of orange juice. She takes one and hands it to me. Then she sits down next to me.

“I was exploring the sewing room. There was a roll of fabric that had hundreds of pictures of you on it. Isn’t that cool!” Serenity finishes off her orange juice and then looks at me closely.

“Hey, are you alright?” Serenity asks.

I can’t hear her words. Exploration, fabric, faces, me? Then I sit up straight in bed knocking over my full glass of juice.

“Serenity, how would you like to go on an adventure?” I ask with confidence, hoping secretly that she will agree.

“An adventure, what kind?” Serenity peers at me from behind a lock of curly blond hair.

“You’ll find out,” I grumble, suddenly angry at father.

Father puts my life in danger and then he puts my best friend’s life in danger, along with my brother’s and sister’s lives, and he doesn’t care. I hope my face isn’t getting red because that would be embarrassing but I feel that way. Anger is boiling inside me like the boiling tomato mushroom bisque my beautiful Mother used to make before she left me and Sae and Serious when we had just turned five. I cry because I want the competition to end and I cry for my mother who would never ever put me in danger like this. Father is just greedy— that’s why he wants us to risk our lives to find him the most valuable thing in the world. There is only one problem— I want the crown. Serenity watches me carefully.

I hop out of bed and motion for her to follow me. I grab my bow and high five knives and Serenity’s dagger. Then I grab my magical cornucopia and throw it all into a neon blue duffel bag, along with some clothes and two winter coats. Finally, I grab a map of the world and hand the duffel bag to Serenity. We walk out of my room. I know that I have to leave to go on the journey now. Literally now, because I can’t stand to be in the same house as Father any longer.

“We are going to get an early start on the journey,” I say. I scribble a note on some old stationary that Father gave me years ago.

 

Dear Father,

 

I am leaving early for the journey. Serenity is coming.

 

Don’t worry about me,

Andrea

P.S. I am taking two horses.

 

I am scared. I can’t hide how I feel as Serenity and I walk through the dark, empty halls. I scan the halls, hoping that no one will find us. In the Apothecary I grab a bag full of healing medicine and two blankets. One is thin, made from wool and the other is thick with cotton. They are both brown. Good camouflage colors. Finally, I reach the stables. Beyond the stables are the woods. That is where I must start this hazardous journey. Woods surround all of the castle so I have no other place to start.  I coax Ginger, the horse, out of her stall. She climbs out without fighting and I motion for Serenity to climb on. I hand her the duffle bag. Then, I coax another horse, Chip, out of his stall and I climb on. On our way out I get two hay stuffed pillows from the corner and a bag of horse feed. I follow Serenity into the forest. Her horse, Ginger, is the color of the ripe peaches that Mother used to plant in our orchard. Now that Mother has left us there are no more peaches in our orchard, only the dry, hard apples that I always forget to pick. I stop to pick a bag of them to feed to the horses. Then my black and white horse carries me away.

While we are riding, I explain the whole idea to Serenity and thank her for not asking questions while I was packing up. I slowly start to get tired and I find a nice clearing that Serenity and I can spend the night in. We set up the sleeping bags and pillows and tie both horses to a big brown oak. I feed the horses an apple each and then fall asleep.

 

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping. Serenity is already awake. I see that she untied the horses. I reach into the duffel bag and pull out the cornucopia. I raise it into the air and it barfs out four pieces of bacon and two waffles and a spray can of ReddiWhip. I pull out two plates and put the food on them. The food tastes really good.

Soon after we eat, I get on Chip’s back and tie the duffel bag around his neck. Serenity climbs on Ginger and we set off.

We follow a narrow path that goes into the woods deeper and deeper. I don’t know what I am searching for. I don’t know if I will find anything.

“Any ideas?” I asked Serenity.

“Not really,” she says.

All of a sudden, we hear a crack, and a trio of monsters comes running out of the woods. I recognize them as Grougs. Serious hunts them in the woods all the time. They all have green skin and silver clubs with spikes, their orange hair braided with weapons.

Serenity screams. We jump off our horses and draw our weapons. Serenity’s is a faded grey dagger with the symbol of our land on it. Mine is my bow and arrow. I step forward to stab the first Groug in the stomach while Serenity takes on the second one. I lunge at the Groug. It throws a handful of copper knifes my way. I cry out and back away. One of the knives brushes against my fingers. A burning sensation starts in my fingers and runs throughout my whole body. I have never told anyone this but, I have a terrible weakness. Any time copper touches my skin it burns my blood. I almost fall back but, stand my ground. I set my bow with a death arrow and shoot it into the Grougs stomach just as I fall back onto the dirt floor. The last thing I hear is Serenity’s wail before I pass out.

I immediately start to have a vision. I am sitting at my place in the dining hall at the castle. My father and brother and sister are there, too.

“I’m trusting you with the last of my transportation coins,” he says. Father has never mentioned those before. He hands each of us two faded gold coins. I take mine and roll them around in my hands.

“When you need them most, you can transport yourself or someone else to the castle or somewhere else as long as you think of the place in your head,” says father. I can barely think about that when the dream fades and I wake to find myself laying in the dirt. The transportation coins are in my hand but I don’t care much about them because Serenity is next to me and blood is pouring out of her. She is about to die.

I know that I have to act quickly. I grab a bandage from the apothecary bag and slide it over the tremendous hole that has appeared in her stomach. I wrap it around several times and hold it against her stomach. I check her pulse; fading but still there.

“Serenity,” I breathe softly. She can’t hear me. I look around. The Grougs took everything except for Chip the Horse and the apothecary bag. And to make it even worse a slow rain has started.

We have to find shelter.  Someone must live around here. I slowly lift Serenity up and slide her onto the back of a horse. Only then do I remember the transportation coins. Where are they? I search the grounds and find them hidden by a large orange leaf. I take the coins and the leaf and sit on a large rock. I must write a note to father. I take the cool black sap from a large tree and draw with my fingers a note to Father on the orange leaf. The writing is shaky but, readable.

 

Dear Father,

 

Take care of Serenity. I am okay.

 

See you soon,

Andrea

 

Then I slip one of the transportation coins into her palm and she fades away into the shadows.

Without looking back, I climb on Chip and ride deeper into the forest and away from where I hope Serenity will end up. Then I think of food. How am I going to eat without the magical cornucopia? The only other person who has one in the world is my mother but, I know I’ll never see her again. I tug on Chip’s saddle, forcing him to move forward farther into the woods. I stepped hard on a piece of wood and it made a loud snapping sound. I know that I might have alerted any nearby wildlife but, I don’t care. I suddenly feel so alone in this world. I thought Serenity was just slowing me down but I didn’t realize how much I actually needed her to help me with this quest. I wonder what day it is because I want to know how many days I have left. I feel the circular transportation coin in my jean pocket as I walk along the forest path. I wonder if I will ever make it home to the castle. I just have hope that the transportation coins actually work because I would feel even worse if I had done my friend wrong as well as myself.

Chip neighs loudly and stops abruptly. Then, I see why. We have come to a perfect square clearing. There are no trees. Just a perfect little cottage with a stone path and ripe peach trees surrounding it except for the path. Then I see her. A beautiful young-ish woman with a flowing golden braid and a white dress that sparkles in the afternoon sun. She has a basket around one of her arms and is picking yellow peaches off branches in her orchard. When she sees me she disappears into her house and slams the door. There is something about this woman that seems familiar and I know immediately that she is someone that I know.

“Ma’am!” I call out. “Hello, ma’am!”

I tie Chip to one of the largest peach trees and walk up to the door. I knock gently, crossing my fingers. Maybe this woman can help me and get me food. Maybe she could… My thoughts are suddenly interrupted. The same lady swings open the door and starts shouting at me until a girl’s soft voice stops her.

“It’s okay, Mother,” the girl’s voice says behind the woman. “This one is a friend.”

I do not know how to react to this until the woman with the golden hair suddenly grabs me hardly and pulls me into a tight long hug. When she finally looks up her eyes are streaked with tears and her smile is bigger than ever. I finally realize who it is. I can’t believe it. Just when I thought I would never find her, I know who this person is.

“Andrea?” my mother asks. “Is that you?”

I can barely choke out an answer. Then my mother invites me inside and I see who the girl is. Black braids and all with her brown oak bow slung across her back.

“Thank you Sae,” I tell her as I move about the kitchen.

“It’s my pleasure,” Sae says as she follows me into the kitchen. A flat circle of dough lays underneath a pink faded rolling pin on the dining table. The kitchen is very neat with blue and yellow wallpaper, striped.

“But I have news to tell you sister… it is just us now,” Sae says.

“Father?” I ask, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden.

“No, Serious. He cursed at a hawk so the hawk stabbed him through the neck.”

I put my head down and shed a few tears, then I remember that now we have less competition. I tell this to Sae.

“I have been thinking of that as well. I think we should take our Mother back as the prize and rule as siblings in cohorts.”

“That could be a good idea— Father won’t object as long as we are safe.”

Mother comes into the kitchen.

“So, it’s settled,” Sae says. “ Mother, we are bringing you back to the castle.”

Mother sucks in her breath. “I don’t know if I would like to go back to the castle. I might want to stay here in the peace and quiet. Of course, I would love some company so, if you want to stay with…” Sae cuts Mother off.

“Sorry,” she says. “Andrea and I have to do our duty at the castle so, you either come with us willingly or we shove you into a cloth sack and drag you.”

We all stare at Mother. I know Sae was kidding. We would never do that.

“How will we even get to the castle?” Mother asks, doubting us.

Sae says, “No idea” the same time I say “Transportation coins.”

“What the heck are transportation coins?” ask Sae and Mother at the same time.

I feel light-headed again. “Sae, you didn’t get them?”

“No I did, just joking,” she answers. At least now we have a way to get home. Sae and I go back to staring at Mother expectantly.

“I will have my answer by morning,” says Mother. “You can spend the night.”

“I lost track of time, so what day is it?” I ask. “Do we have enough time?”

“Yeah, today is July 6th.”

Sae gives me a tour of Mother’s house while Mother speaks gently to the cornucopia that she will need extra food because she has guests.

There is one bedroom, a cozy living room, the kitchen, and a small basement. Behind the house there is a large lake that I never noticed.

“I’ll show you my mad rowing skills after dinner,” says Sae.

I can hear the cornucopia in the distance. It is spitting out food for dinner.

“Great,” I say to Sae. “But, think about it. What if Mother doesn’t want to come with us?”

“She will.” That is Sae’s only answer. I still have doubts.

Before I know it, Mother is calling us for dinner. It is delicious— duck with peas and carrots. I try to bring up conversation but we’ve all had a tiring day so it doesn’t work.

“Make sure you have a decision by morning,” says Sae as Mother ushers us out of the living room and into the basement where there are sleeping bags set up, “Because Andrea and I—” she smiles at me her biggest smile, which is very unlike her. Suspicious even. “—have to go back to the castle!” Sae smiles again and goes to the basement.

Now I am scared because I have a feeling that I know what Sae is going to do to me. These will be her steps to ruling the kingdom:

  1. Leave in the middle of the night for the castle without me or our mother.
  2. Once she gets to the castle she will pretend that I am dead so that she can take the crown.
  3. Then she will kill Father so he can’t change anything when I come back to the castle with mother.
  4. She will rule forever and break into our life lasting potions so that she can live forever.

That would be very bad because we are only supposed to take a teaspoon of life lasting potion every five years so we don’t go crazy. The last dose I had was when we were fifteen. If we do not get killed we should live to about 690 right now. Who knows how long when we take another dose at 20.

I swallow hard. Then I stop freaking out. This is Sae I’m talking about! The same Sae that stood guard while I stole Reddi Whip from the castle kitchen. The same Sae that spent hours with me in the huge tree house that father’s handyman built for us so we could play games. The same Sae who always wins when we have “who can slide down the rails the fastest” challenges. I fight back a tear. The same Sae who was my loving sister before Father broke us apart in this terrible battle for the crown.

I realize that I am still standing in the middle of the hallway and quickly and quietly go down the stairs to the basement. I see that Sae is getting settled in her sleeping bag. I crawl into mine next to her. I would like to stay up and ask Sae about her plan but my tired eyes fail me. I am asleep in seconds.

I jump immediately when I hear a rustle in the sleeping bag next to mine.  My eyes open and Sae is not there. I run through the fields near mother’s house around to the lake and back up the valley. The cold night air stings my arms and legs but, I can’t stop. I have gone about a half mile before I collapse onto the grass, panting hard. I try to get back up. I need to do this for Sae. I grasp strands of grass and push myself forward.

“Sae,” I  whisper into the cold night air. “Sae.” I scream it this time. I am sure that I have gone insane.

“SAE!” I screech. Then I am running. I am running to the castle to find my sister and bring her back and—

I stop myself. Then I reach into my pocket and get a transportation coin. Now I have a plan. I will transport myself to the cottage to get Mother then I will transport both of us to the castle to get Sae. That is of course, if Mother agrees to going to the castle.

I hold out the transportation coin and think “Mother’s cottage” in my mind. Then before I know it I am gone.

I arrive back at the house. I am about to rush into the house when I hear a loud splash coming from the lake behind the house. I went around back.

And I had to start crying because there was Sae. There was Sae in her dark blue pajamas swimming in the lake. She smiles and I dive in to join her. I splash her and she splashes me back and I tell her how worried I was and for once she listens. You know those moments that you wish could last forever? Yeah, this was one of those. As I swam around in the lake with Sae I forgot about everything that really mattered and just swam and laughed. Sae was my sister and I thought that she had taken the dark side.

“I love you, Sae,” I say.

“I love you too, Andrea,” says Sae.

As we hug, a sharp arrow skims the side of my ear and I jump to attention. I regret the decision I make to look where the arrow came from.

There is Father up atop the hill with all of 50,00 troop lined for battle.

“Where is Serious?” Father looks concerned.

“He’s dead,” I explain to him.

“What!?” Father looks astounded. “You know he was my favorite! He had to rule!”

Fathers words sting me as they hit my ear. Then Father raises his bow.

“You killed him.” Father accuses us. I am surprised that he is crying. “You killed him!”

“Father, no,” Sae can barely correct.

There is no mercy in Father’s eyes as he yells to the 50,000 troops, “CHARGE!”

I can barely think or speak or anything when Sae is pulling me out of the lake to the dock. Then we ran away from the lake and the forest until Sae mutters one single word.

“Mother.”

Then we run back to the cabin because we must save Mother. I close my eyes and power through the strong July wind. I am only about 30 feet from the cabin when I realize that the cabin is on fire. The beautiful peach trees go up in flames and all of Mother’s things are being thrown into the lake while a handcuffed Mother is being pushed onto the front lawn. Mother looks very calm. Sae and I are hiding behind the last peach tree. I grasp Sae’s hand.

“Aaliyah,” says Father. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Benjamin,” Mother says, copying father’s calm tone. “I am glad that you could make the trip.”

“I am so terribly sorry, Aaliyah,” says Father. “But, I am going to have to kill you, because you assisted my daughters after they killed my favorite child.”

I gasp loudly and Sae covers my mouth with her hand.

“If that is what’s best,” says Mother still calm. “Then by all means, kill me.”

This seems to catch Father off guard.

“Then I must kill you,” he states.

Father raises a long shiny silver sword and is about to stab it into Mother’s heart when Sae jumps forward and kicks his chin. Sae nods to me and I jump to action. I remember the Kung Fu lessons that Mother taught us when we were three. I side kick Father in the leg and he falls to the ground. Then I slam my foot as hard as I can into his nose.

“Don’t hurt me!” Father screams. “If you kill me, the whole kingdom will riot!”

“And why is that?” asks Mother.

Father hesitates a little but, then says, “Because I am their rightful leader.”

“Their rightful leader, eh?” I wonder what Mother’s strategy is. None of us can argue that Father isn’t the rightful leader because he was born into the position.

Mother is screaming now. “You married into the throne. I WAS THE RIGHTFUL LEADER!”

I gasp again. Mother?! So Father was never the ruler of our land. He never had the right to send us to find the most valuable thing in the world. He is the cause of his favorite child’s death.

Mother speaks again, quieter this time. “The only reason you married me was so you could be royalty, and look what you’ve done to your kingdom. You’re not a leader. You’re a coward. And we have the power to kill you more than you have the power to kill me.”

I stand behind Mother on one side and Sae takes the other. The troops march to stand behind all of us.

I don’t want to see Father die. Then again I would much rather not see him live. So Sae pokes the pressure points that make him freeze up and we throw him into the lake.

“We did it,” says mother, breathless from the exciting events. The morning sunrise is a gorgeous orange color. We are united, a whole. We are fighters and Kung Fu artists and strategists. And we stand together in the sunlight watching the sun set over the lake.

EPILOGUE— 3 years later

The hot sun beats down on my neck while I unload a large box of purple paint.

“We didn’t order that much!” Sae complains.

It is three years since the death of our Father, and we have turned the castle into a sleepaway camp for village children. Each of the bedrooms serve as bunk cabins and the kids can play in the field and eat s’mores prepared by our kitchen staff. Sae and I are the head counselors. We decide what campers do during the day. Today, the main activity is painting a garden scene. However, we are afraid that we ordered too much paint.

“You’re right,” I said. “We only said one box of lime green.”

“We’ll manage,” says Sae.

We finish unloading the paint and carry it to the backyard. The village kids are already waiting to paint when Sae and I get out to the garden. I set up an easel for each of them while Sae passes out brushes and palettes.

While they paint, Sae and I talk.

“Do you ever miss Father?” Sae asks me.

“No,” I snap. Sae gives me a curious look.

“Fine,” I say finally. “I do. But only sometimes. Most of the time I am totally fine without him because he said that Serious was his favorite and he let Serenity die!”

It’s true. When Serenity got back to the castle with the help of one of my transportation coins, Father ignored her and focused on getting in contact with Serious. At least I still had Sae and Mother.

When everyone was finished painting we sent them to their cabins for Shower Hour. Then they would go to lunch in the palace dining room. During the afternoon, we take them to swim in Mother’s lake. Sae and I drove early to go to see Mother and set up for swimming. As we drive, Sae and I talk.

“I can’t wait to go swimming!” said Sae. I smiled.

“Yeah, me too.”

Muddy Eyes

I put the key in the lock, my cracked and bloody knuckles shaking as a cool shiver went down my spine. With one hand I twisted the dull brass edge of the key, the other quickly brushing thick red hair out of my eyes. I could feel my breath in my chest, like a balloon near bursting-point.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

I heard a low ‘click’ as the bolts locking the steel door to the two-by-two box retreated. I slid the door to the side, and grabbed a flashlight from a pack strapped tightly to my back. Shining the light into the box, I saw the silver flare of the handle of the pistol. Jackpot.

I slowly drew the gun out, the weight odd in my hands. This was nothing like the high-tech, aerodynamic models we trained with in school. This was heavy in the back, and seemed to resonate with pure physical power. There were no settings, no long-range or short-range dials. Just a Flick The Safety, Point At Target, And Shoot kind of gun.

I examined the chamber, and to my relief there were four golden bullets. My hands stopped quivering at the sight of them, as if they were a drug and I the low-life druggee.

All at once, while staring entranced at the bullets, I became aware that I was not the only person in the weapons chamber of Hartsdale’s Laboratory. I heard a low exhale of breath, followed by a quiet rumble emanating from my mystery man’s throat. I lifted my head slowly, attempting to conceal my presence, as I clicked the chamber shut and flicked off the safety. My eyes narrowed, and I straightened my spine, the seams of my dark navy jacket thankfully silent as my neck craned upward, then to the right, then to the left.

At the very edge of the room, half-hidden behind a row of test tubes and layers of petri dishes, I saw him: a masked figure with an inhumanly long arm at its side, half of it the same metallic silver as my gun. The figure raised its arm and I heard a high-pitched wind-up, like the sound before a doctor’s report, or the withheld breath of the dead – the sound that we all attribute to silence.

On instinct I dodged to the side, agile and swift, living up to my nickname of “The Red Fox” given to me by my professor of Ancient Assassinations, period seven, three years in a row. A bullet narrowly missed my head, a millimeter away from skimming my ear. I cursed under my breath, and lifted my gun. Without blinking I clicked the trigger, once, twice, three times, and on the third the golden arrow made contact with the figure’s mask. My orders were clear; a headshot was to be administered for anyone who stood in my way.

“Jesus, Alice!” The figure cursed, and my hazel eyes widened with surprise as his mask came flying off. I saw his deep chocolate skin, and beautiful muddy eyes, rimmed with a scar I gave him from training two years ago. My breath stopped short, as if I were suddenly smacked in the chest, and I managed to whisper his name before my common sense kicked in.

But in that narrow lapse between my astonishment and my knee-jerk reaction to shoot him in the heart six times, he raised his gun and fired. A stinging pain ricocheted through my shoulder, throwing the entire left side of my body backwards and sending me crashing to the cool tile floor.

I shrieked, and pushed myself to a sitting position with my good arm. I raised my gun, though my shoulder felt as if it were on fire, and slammed my finger on the trigger.

I was just able to see the cold fear in those muddy eyes before the bullet drilled into his forehead, and he flew backwards, slumping against the wall.

Panting, I pressed the palm of my hand into the sticky wound on my shoulder. I would never hesitate to shoot again.

Home Is Where The Family Is

I yelled and screamed as the police clung to my arms, dragging me into the orphanage. We stopped at a rustic wood desk. A lady wearing cat-eyed glasses perched behind it.

“What’s your name?” she snapped.

I had seen the movie Annie twice before, but I had never imagined a real-life Miss Hannigan.

“Carrie…Carrie Shaw,” I replied.

I was sent to a white-walled room with chipped paint and a sign smack in the center that stated “San Diego Harbor Orphan Care.” I was scared— no, scared would be an understatement. I was terrified, confused, and the worst… alone. Alone without my mom, who had been my everything. The one who surfed with me, loved me, and bought me a charm for my charm bracelet on every one of my birthdays. I glanced down at the silver bracelet on my wrist. I had a total of twelve charms. I flicked the small surfboard charm that lay on the inside of my wrist. Suddenly the door to the white room open and feet approached. A woman came up to me.

She was wearing ragged clothes, but her eyes looked sincere. The police told me I would be living with her. I guess they needed the money. The car ride took us four hours, and when we passed a sign that read “Barstow,” I couldn’t help but wipe a small tear from my eye. I was being torn away from San Diego, my home. In Barstow there was no beach, no friends, and no Alana Shaw.

Alana Shaw, my mother, had died June 3, 2015. We were on our afternoon surf when she hit her head on a rock, disappeared, and then died in the freak accident. I got sent to an orphanage, and was now going to be fostered in a small town where I would never be able to surf again. That was all there was to it.

When we arrived at the little hut in central Barstow, I grabbed my suitcase containing the following items: three sun dresses, two bathing suits, a framed photo of mom and I in Hawaii, my hairbrush, and some surf wax. Still in shock from the events in the past nine hours, I uncomfortably shuffled into the house. Once I entered the house, I noticed a man sitting at a table with a little girl who looked about five. The man walked up to me and introduced himself. I found out his name was Phil and the little girl’s name was Emma. Phil gently touched my back and took my bag down the hall. My foster mom Karen offered me a PB and J sandwich, but I wasn’t in the mood to eat or, frankly, do anything. Karen and Phil were kind, but nobody could replace Alana Shaw. Exhausted, I walked into the miniscule room they had set up for me and lay down on the fluffy cotton bed.

The next day was just as confusing as the day before. I woke up to find Karen and Eric screaming with joy.

“What happened?” I mumbled.

Karen wrapped me in a tight hug while balancing Emma at her hip. I struggled to escape.

“We won the lottery! We won, we won!” exclaimed Karen.

“Looks like you’re our good luck charm… Lucky. We picked up you and 400 million dollars in twenty-four hours,” Phil joked.

“Haha,” I laughed sheepishly.

Karen ran off to her room and returned with a large red-wrapped box that had medium-sized holes poked into the top.

“Phil and I thought you were feeling a bit lonely.”

I opened up the box and a golden retriever puppy was nestled in the corner.

“I’ll call you Bali,” I said. My mom and I had traveled the world for surf competitions. We were heading to Bali for Nationals. Bali would have been the most exciting trip yet with snorkeling, tubing and all the adventurous things my mom would plan. Tragically, Bali couldn’t happen, but I promised myself it would.

I spent the next few weeks adjusting to my new life. Karen bought a new home a couple blocks away which we would soon be moving into (due to the lottery win); Phil took Bali, Emma, and me to the parks on Sundays; and Emma attempted–and failed–to make brownies in her Easy Bake Oven. Even though I missed my old life, I was starting to get used to my new life, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d expected.

“Lucky, come down. I want to see your dress!” Emma called from downstairs.

“Be right there,” I shouted back.

That name’s always struck me as ironic. I’m not Lucky— my mom’s dead, I’m in foster care, I haven’t been in the ocean in six years. But it could be worse. My foster parents and little Emma are loving. Things just aren’t the same as they used to be.

I flipped through my high school yearbook, my mind wandering off in dismay, as I realized my mom wouldn’t be attending my high school graduation.

Emma helped me snap back into reality. “Lucky, come on down here!”

I scurried down the spiral staircase, my perfectly curled hair bobbing up and down as I went. Karen and Phil greeted me with a hug as I strolled into the kitchen. Then Emma came up to me and hugged me. I hugged her back, but quickly pulled away. I wished I could love her like a sister but… I couldn’t. Em is twelve years old. The age I was when Mom died. Emma has had her life handed to her on a silver platter. She has everything I could only wish for when I was twelve.

When we arrived at Barstow High, all the seniors celebrated with a pre-graduation cake that had obviously been over-frosted and read “ConGRADulations!” Students went up in order of last name, and when Shaw was announced, I got up to the stage and shook hands with our principal, Mr. Turtle. It’s not that I wanted high school to end; it’s just that after I got my graduation money, I’d finally have enough money to put my escape plan into action.

Five years ago, on a day I was upset and stuck in a ditch of sadness and misery, I flung myself onto my bed and felt a tear run down my cheek. I remembered myself saying, “I need to get away from these people, they aren’t my real family, I will never call this monster my mom.” I needed to leave and go to a place I felt most united with my mother. I couldn’t bring mom back to life but I could bring back our memories.

I would miss Riley and Ashleigh, the few friends I had, but other than that I was excited to start at the University of Washington after summer, but for summer… my plan of action. I went home to find the last $100 I needed from Karen and Phil. I took all of the money I had saved in a mason jar and counted it. $3,768. Babysitting had really paid off. $3,000 was the amount I needed for a plane ride, a ten-day hostel stay, street food, and, of course, a surfboard for the place I had always dreamed of: Bali. I stayed up late that night planning, booking, and more planning. I would tell Karen, Emma, and Phil, but I knew they would want to come with me, and this was something I needed to do alone.

I wrote a note for Karen, Phil, and Em telling them I’d be leaving for a bit, then headed off to the airport. The plane ride was nerve-wracking. I was excited to be in the place Mom and I had dreamed of going, but confused, since I was going to a new place, and sad to be leaving home. The lady sitting next to me and I chatted, and my heart started to ache when she claimed to be a runaway herself and told me how her whole family had died in a fire while she was gone. She advised me to go back, but this having been my dream for so long, I reluctantly refused. I wanted to go home, I wanted to see Em, but most of all I needed to surf and go to the place my mother and I dreamed of.

When we finally landed, I grabbed my luggage and took off for the Kayun Hostel.  I was onto my biggest life endeavor yet. I set my bags down on the bunk bed and stared at the serenity of Bali’s gorgeous beaches. It was about one in the afternoon, so I decided to try surfing for the first time in a while. I paddled out and for the first time was anxious about something that I thought was basically my second home. However, when I caught my first wave, it felt like I had surfed just yesterday, an amazing feeling. I finally felt like I was connected with my mom, doing the thing we had both loved to do. I felt independent like my mom had been, and I was proud of reaching my goals and tackling the thing I’d set my mind on doing.

The next day I walked to Warong Legong, a restaurant a few blocks away from our hotel. I ordered the green papaya soup, and for the first time on the trip I felt sad and didn’t enjoy sitting alone. A piece of me was missing. My family was missing. My mom and I had been close, but I had a new family now. Phil was funny. He could always make me laugh, even on a bad day. Emma was sweet and gentle. She looked up to me as a role model and always tried to help me. She’d never been mean to me like most siblings. And Karen was always so genuine and comforting, no matter how irritating she was. Although Karen wasn’t my birth mother, she had done a pretty good job taking care of me and transformed me from a scared, shy twelve year old to an independent and kind eighteen year old. I missed them… a lot.

Once I finished eating, I headed back to the hostel, climbed into my pajamas, and fell asleep.

I stood on our Barstow lawn, puzzled because the street was empty, which was unusual. The smell of ashes and smoke tickled my nostrils. Suddenly it hit me. I spun around. Em, Phil, Karen, and even little Bali were all in our burning house. “No… no!” I screamed, filled with terror, sadness, and panic. Flames burst from the house like exploding fireworks. I darted towards the house, attempting to rescue all of them, but instead found myself smashing into a glass forcefield, unable to reach them.

“Help me, Carrie, help all of us!” Emma wailed.

I found a neighbor’s scooter and tried to break the glass. It broke, but I was far too late.

I heard Karen let out one sharp shriek, and everything was gone.

I woke up gasping for breath, dried tears on my face. I attempted to slow my pounding heart down as I realized it was only a dream. Still, I had a horrible premonition that something bad would come out of this trip. I loved my family, Karen, Phil, and Em. They needed me and I needed them. I should have appreciated them more while I was with them. As much as I loved Bali and the connection with my mom that came along with it, I loved my family more, and decided to return home early.

Rushing to the Ngurah Rai international airport, I asked the customer service representative if there were available flights to Barstow, CA.

“Yes, the cost is $2,800 if you want to get a flight this late.”

“Umm…I don’t have that much, sir,” I replied.

I silently tilted my head to the left, shocked to see the lady from the earlier plane wearing a camouflage turban and waving a one way ticket to Barstow in her left hand.

She walked up to me and said, “Here take my ticket, sweetie. See your family and don’t worry too much.”

“Thank you… How did you know I would be here and was going to see my family?” I questioned, still contemplating whether or not I should agree to take her ticket.

“Everything happens for a reason,” she eerily said, her voice shaky, then turned away and disappeared into the crowd of people.

Still, I couldn’t turn down a free plane ticket to go home, so I hopped onto the flight and wished more than anything my family would be ok.

Once we finally arrived at the Barstow airport, I called an Uber to come pick me up and take me to 18461 Olive Drive, Barstow, California. The Uber driver dropped me off at the house, I paid him, and Emma emerged from our patio with an odd, neon pink cast wrapped around her skinny arm. I raced out of the car to hug her and let her know how much I loved and missed her and all the crazy dreams and beaches I had seen in Bali. But before I could say anything Emma started the conversation.

“Where were you? What happened? All we got was a note, no phone call or anything! We were so worried about you! Anyways, I’m glad you’re back, but I don’t know how pleased Mom and Dad will be about this,” said Em.

“Em, I missed you, too, but what happened to your arm?”

“Oh I just fell off my electric scooter, no biggie. Let’s go inside and tell Mom and Dad you’re back.”

“Ok,” I replied, as we approached the door.

When Em flung open the front door, we both yelled with surprise to find our parents standing at the door with their arms crossed, waiting to punish me. Or that’s what I thought at least.

“Carrie, we understand you took this trip to get closer with your mom, but why didn’t you let us know you were leaving?”

“I wanted to have alone time with my mom, and I thought you guys would want to come if I told you, so I didn’t.”

“We love you very much and are happy for you to be home, but promise us you will never leave like that again.”

“Of course, Mom.”

Problems=Anger=Change

Prologue

School. Lots of stories have been written about school. Lots of kids do not like school. Few do. Teachers give orders. Students listen. If students don’t listen they are either chastised or warned not to do whatever they did again. If they do do it again, they are sent to the principal’s office. The principal is feared by all in the school – by teachers, students, and even kitchen staff and maintenance. But what if, just what if, a kid was sent to the principal’s office, and didn’t listen or show respect. Then who would the principal tell? What would he/she do? They would probably call the child’s parents. That would be the end of that. The child would be taken home, yelled at, and probably harshly punished. But what if the child didn’t listen to his parents? Bad things would happen to the child.

Now forget everything I just told you for one second. How do armies win wars? Yes, guns and armor, and bases, and strategy, and heart, and all that. But besides heart, and guns, and strategy, you need numbers. Yes. Even though the Spartans only were 300 and the Persians were many more, the Spartans still put up a good fight. Now I don’t mean to give you guys a history lesson but what I’m trying to say is that they lost because they had every requirement but one. Numbers. Numbers cost the Spartans the battle. My point is numbers wins.

But remember those school kids? How come they are losing the battle if they are far ahead in numbers? Something’s not right.

Chapter 1

Here is an example of what I mean. In an unknown town in NJ, there is a school. 217 kids, 10 teachers, 6 maintenance people, one P.E. coach, one music teacher, a drama dude, one assistant principal, and one principal.

Here is an example of a class. Ms. Kqwedvbbcvcd3sdfhdv, Ms. K for short, teaches the students in room 309. 1 teacher, 21 kids. The kids are Tamry, Ben, Tim A, Tim C, Ivy, Lil Mike, Christopher, Mason, Ethan, Emily Q, Emily P, Juan, Alberto, Madison, Alex, Ava, Prudence, (Prude for short,) William Febloquentz, Laury, (Pronounced Looouuury,) Olivia, and, Gertrude.

Now, don’t you think that’s a lot of kids for just one Ms. K?  But, before I get into the story, I have to catch up on the drama.

So, for starters, Juan got into a fight with Tamry and Christopher, Laury and Emily P still have their ongoing feud do to the fact that Emily P spilled her milk on Laury’s “best piece of art ever,” during free time, and even though Emily P says it was an accident Laury “knows” that she did it because Emily P wants her to eternally suffer, and Alex and Prudence are still mad at Alberto and Madison for stealing their ideas in the make your own holiday project back in October. Lil Mike and William are still upset because they think Gertrude cheated them out of their victory at the science fair because Emily Q paid her to make sure her and Ivy would win no matter what she did. And there’s a rumor that Ben is with Olivia.

Now that we got that stuff out of the way, let’s get down to business.

Chapter 2

So, it’s a Monday morning. Bell rings at 7:57, to give the kids a couple minutes to get to class. Class starts at 8. Our story starts at 7:55.  Ben is flirting with Olivia, Emily P and Laury won’t stop fighting, (“You hate me!”) Tamry is fighting with Christopher, and of course Gertrude got into another fist fight with Lil Mike. After all this, it’s 8. Bell rings. Prude manages to break up Gertrude and Lil Mike’s fight. Class starts. They all sit down despite their conflicts. Ms. K comes in and says, “Settle down. Alright good moooorning class.”

“Good morning, Ms. K.”

“So class, was homework easy or what? I tell you kids I’m always right!”

“Actually Ms. K, no one’s always right,” said Lil Mike.

“Lil Mike, I was being SARCASTIC. By the way, what happened to your eye?”

“Well, why don’t you ask Gertrude!”

“Oh shut up, it was Emily Q!”

“Don’t you go blaming me!”

“Class!”

There was suddenly silence. The silence was broken when Lil Mike said, “Stupid girls.” Unfortunately Gertrude heard this, stood up and practically yelled, “Oh shut up, boys aren’t better! At fighting at least.”

“THAT’S IT!” Lil Mike jumped up from his seat but before he could get to Gertrude, Ms. K intervened.

“ENOUGH!” This time she yelled so loud everyone froze in their spots. Gertrude and lil Mike sat down. Everyone thought the same thing. “Uhhh, not again. Ms. K is so annoying.”

Chapter 3

RING! RIIIIIIIIING! RING RING RING! Finally! Everyone thought. Lunch!

Everyone went down to lunch, rushing past each other as if in the lunch room was Babe Ruth giving out free autographs. When they got there they all moaned. A huge line AGAIN. All the other classes beat them there. Ms. White’s class, Ms. Nolan’s class, and of course, Ms. Robertson’s class were all in line. Finally Ms. K’s class got to the front. Chef Brett said, “Late again!” in his smiley doesn’t-really-mean-it voice. Then, similarly to the way Lil Mike said “stupid girls,” he said, “Losers.” Mason and Lil Mike both looked at each other and gave each other the “I wanna kill this guy” look. They would’ve killed him if he wasn’t bigger, smellier and more powerful than them.

Mason and Lil Mike sat down together.

“Don’t you think it’s not fair the way she treats us?” said Lil Mike as he stuffed a hamburger in his mouth.

“Yeah Gertrude is such a j-”

“No, not her, even though she can be a jerk-”

“THANK YOU!” Lil Mike yelled. “Thats exactly what I’m saying. Wait,” said LM, “Then who’s the she?”

“You tell me!” said Mason.

Lil Mike took a second and then said, “Oh. Ms. K. I hate her too. You know, why don’t we do something about her. She’s so mean, and just makes our problems worse, and while she’s not doing that, she’s yelling at us!”

“Well maybe you’re right – maybe we should do something about it. I mean, if we really needed to, there are way more of us than her, so if we REALLY needed to, overthrowing her would not be a problem.”

Lil Mike then had that look that people get midway through TV shows implying that a mystery has been solved. Then Lil Mike said, “Let’s do it!”

Mason then said, laughing, “I wish,” as he took as sip of his lemonade.

“What! You said it yourself! If we could do this the right way, no one would ever know! We would have the best day-”

“Day! Year! We could do it to all the teachers as long as we have enough people.”

Lil Mike grinned. “We must gather the army.”

Chapter 4

The army started with Lil Mike and Mason. Then William F joined due to his everlasting friendship with LM, and then came Ben, who shortly was followed by his GF Olivia. Now there were 5. They needed at least 10 from each class. After that they would hope others would join. Some would oppose. More would accept. Alex, Prude, Juan, Emily P, and Alberto made it 10. That was enough for them, because they knew 75% of the grade would accept, as I already said. I was just reviewing for those of you that don’t really pay attention or just skim over my story.

After lunch was recess, and after recess was history. Now personally I like history, but it’s hard to like history when your teacher isn’t exactly “into” it. If you don’t get what I’m saying, Ms. K hates history, so it’s SO boring. The ten students had a plan. They were just waiting for the perfect time.

Chapter 5

(This is the one y’all been waiting for! Hopefully…oh look at that – it wasn’t!)

“Alright class, the following packet has questions from the reading that you were supposed to have read.” She gave Tim A a stare. “You read it right?” she said with an evil grin.

“Yes ma’m,” he said in a serious way.

Then as the children were working she said “Ok kids, so behave I’m gonna go use the restroom, now don’t you go causin’ any trouble, got that?”

“Yes Ms. K.”

Ok, pause. Why do teachers always say restroom? Just say bathroom, cause restroom sounds like you’re going to a room where you take a nap. When I was 6 my teacher said she was going to the restroom, and I thought she was going to a room where a bunch of teachers take a nap on the colorful round chairs, kinda like a teacher’s lounge. To this day when someone says restroom, that is what I think of – my first grade teacher sitting on that colorful round chair.

ANYWAYS.

When Ms. K left, the class waited a moment and then… BOOM, constant talking.

“So did you see that post Emily Q made…”

“And like the homework last night was so confusing.”

“OMG, who is going to eat those hamburgers like what if Chef Brett just pooped and then put it on a hamburger bun!”

“I read that’s what they do at Burger King on Wikipedia!”

Lil Mike shot Mason a look. They were both considering if they wanted to do it now, or not, and if so, how would they “execute their plan,” to get Ms. K out of their lives and freedom into them. William F gave LM the same look. LM got up, gave both of them the “follow me to the front of the classroom” look, and they did. At the front of the classroom LM said to both of them, “If we wanna get this to work, we need to get her at a time where she’s acting like the bad Ms. K we know she is. Cause if we do it now, less people will get on board, plus we won’t really be AS into it as we know we can be.”

“Point,” said William F.

Mason then said “But I wanna do this soon! I mean you’re right, now’s not the time, but let’s aim for by the end of the week at least.”

“Done,” they both said.

Chapter 6

Tuesday

Now it’s Tuesday. Yay. We are one day closer to the REBELLION, even though, for all you know it could be today (Tuesday). Notice I said you, because I know when it will be, or at least I can decide.

Bell rings.

Everyone goes in. For some reason it was one of those blehhhh days where nobody had energy to do anything, including work or talk. One of those days where you just watch a couple episodes of a show or a movie, and then take a long nap. But instead it’s a Tuesday, so you gotta go to school. Ms. K obviously wasn’t feeling like the students were.

“Ok class, are we all settled?”

“Well I wanna go back to bed and-”

“That was a rhetorical question, Alex,” Ms. K said in a don’t-get-me-started way.

After a horrific first period full of yelling, it was off to music, which kind of made everybody’s day a tad brighter because like who doesn’t Mr. Freedberg? But it didn’t last long, because guess what was next? HISTORY. Uhhhh. That kind of cancelled out the funness of Mr Freedberg (if you know what I mean) and sent everybody back to the blehhh mood. Periods four and five were just like period one. Boring and long. Lunch was at 1 instead of 12:30 because of a lunch swap, and this made everyone starving.

During period 6 Mason, LM, and William F had an emergency meeting.

“What’s this all about?” Said William F.

“Should we do it now?”‘ Said Mason.

“Do wha- oh. Maybe.”

“Think about it” Said LM.

“Everyone‘s hungry. People can do crazy things when they’re hungry, like beat up teachers and put them in closets.”

“Good point.” Said LM.

Mason nods.

The decisions is made.

They will do it now.

Chapter 7

The act

“Little Mike, could you please sit down,” said Ms. K. “You too Mason, and William F please sit down.”

As Mason and William F went to sit down, LM put his arm out, as if restricting them. He gave them the I-got-this look.

“No Ms. K, I refuse to sit down,” he stomped.

Ms. K looked furious, “William Jason Feidelberg, you sit down RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME!”

Little Mike’s face turned an extremely dark shade of red. “No I will not listen to you anymore! I am sick to death listening to teachers! My parents and mentors have always told me to, but they are wrong. I will not take orders from some frauds! You think you know how we feel but…”

“MICHAEL, SIT NOW!”

“NO YOU SIT DOWN! I WILL NOT TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU! Think about it. There are more of us than you. A revolution could happen any second now. You teachers are just lucky we waited this long but now the time is upon us! PUT HER IN THE CLOSET!”

“Mike, there isn’t a closet,” said Mason in a lowish voice so only the three of them could here. “

Then tie her up and put her on her desk!”

At least 6 students got up and charged at her, only to realize there wasn’t much to tie her up with, so they just made a big dog pile with her on the bottom. They then put duct tape on her mouth, and had people guarding the door, so everyone couldn’t hear her yelling and misery. They then hit her head on a chair to knock her out. The revolution had begun.

This was War.

Chapter 8

War

After LM took in all this, he asked the people at the door, so he could “take care of some business.”

LM went down to the cafeteria, wear other kids were eating, and he found Chef Brett.

“Hey shortie, how’s it been?” he said with one of those evil smiles.

LM responded by pulling out a yard stick from behind his back and saying “Your food sucks!”

Then he whacked him in the head with the yardstick various times until he was on the ground. After Little Mike was done with his beating, he ran upstairs, and told his army the news. They were amazed.

“Kids, can you quiet down! I can hear you from the 5th floor!” said Mr. Roberts, an eighth grade history teacher, known for his dreadful ‘Roberts’ stare. So LM smacked him in his belly button with the yardstick. Then they threw him in the room and shut the door. They tied him up next to Ms. K using duct tape they stole from the art room. They stole Ms. K and Mr. Robert’s phones so that A: they couldn’t call the cops, and B: so that the kids could play with awesome smart phones.

LM had an idea that he told Mason and Will F. You’ll have to wait and see what it was.

Across the hall was room 304. If there was ever going to be a room that would find out about this, it was 304. As Mason and Will F walked behind him into 304, LM kicked open the door like in all the movies and it was awesome! He walked in, interrupting their math class. Ms. Beomonte gave him the “Who do you think you are!” look.

“You teachers have bossed us around for two long! This ends NOW! Charge!”

LM pointed to her with his half meter stick. The 304 kids piled on her and the next thing LM knew she was tied up back in 303 (their homeroom.) So now Mr. Roberts, Ms. K, and Ms. B were all tied up, and Chef Brett was on the kitchen floor. Speaking of Chef Brett, LM knew Chef Brett wouldn’t be knocked out forever.

Time to bring him up to the third floor.

Chapter 9: Special delivery

LM and a couple other kids (not Mason and Will F. because they were left in charge of 303), went down the stairs to carry Chef Brett into the elevator, and then up to 303. If they ran into any teachers in the elevator, well…let’s just say they brought the duct tape. The trip downstairs went smoothly, but when they got to the kitchen Chef Brett had gotten up and was talking to Mr. Drozlesfinklesteinelzstrerererdythe, Mr. Droz for short.

“So, I tell you, this kid in Ms. K’s class, Michael I think, comes up to me and whacks me in the head with a half meter stick!” Chef Brett was practically jumping up and down in fury and shock.

“Listen Chef,” said Mr Droz, “I think, you’re crazy. You’re telling me a little kid beat a 36 year old with a half meter stick? I think you slipped on some of your sauce, banged your head had some crazy dream, because apparently 36 year old chefs have crazy dreams! Now I have a class to teach!”

“But wait, really, I’m not lying! Really!”

“Bye Chef.”

Chef Brett then sat down on his little chef dude chair.

“Looks like no one believes you, Chef.”

“You! You little rascal! Imma teach you a-” BANG.

Gertrude hit Chef Brett in the back of his head, and then tried to spit on him but some how failed and made this weird gagging noise and kind of regurgitated some mucus.

“Good job ‘Trude. Why don’t you go find a garbage can.”

Then ‘Trude ran towards the can and puked some more. Then LM and the Tims’s dragged Chef Brett into the elevator and went up to the 3rd floor to add him to their collection.

Chapter 10: We Shall Learn

Now kids, what you just heard is not a true story.

Because if it was we would be in a free kingdom of glory.

But since it’s not we’re stuck with this.

A crazy old world keeping thoughts in the air, waiting for someone to take a deep breath.

The Journey (Excerpt)

Prologue 1:  The Book

In NYC on April 13th,  2250, a man sat down on a park bench.

He had a book.

It was old.

It was from a museum.

And he had stolen it.

The book was dug up by an ancient book collector. His collection was a museum. The man had stolen from the museum.

The book had a title.

“The Book of Nick the Prophet.”

Inside a pouch, the man felt a crystal. He pulled it out and then the explosion happened.

 

Prologue 2: The End

At every nuclear facility there was an error. All bombs were set off.

Radiation was everywhere.

75% of the world died. Others were mutated.

Shaqueesha-lina had been released.

250 years later…

 

Chapter 1: Lawrence the teller

Ten-year-old Gale Hersh sat down during Teller Day. Every month, the kids of Park Valley had to go learn what they needed to know from Teller Lawrence. It was the most boring day of the whole month.

Gale spent the rest of his days doing his chores or playing around or hanging out at the orphanage. His job was to help the mayor. He served him food did chores and comforted him.

Gale considered himself lucky that he was not born a big person. The big people were born in the form of flying beasts. They had their wings and tails cut off. They were given special therapy that turned them human. Most of the people were normal height. Some said all humans used to be big people. And, the big people were not always born with wings and tails. People said that it was bad air. Some called the air: radiation.

“And,” continued Lawrence, “You should not be curious about the outside. Any fool who does that will die of the dangers.”

Gale stood up. Anger rushed through him.

“My father was not a fool!”

“Y0ur father’s curiosity is what killed him and your mother,” Lawrence said with a harsh stare.

Gale sat back down. When Gale was only two years old, his father fell in the lake. But then, his father learned how to swim. He tried various ways of doing it. Then he decided to show it to Gale’s mother. When they left to go, they never returned. Everyone said they drowned.

Gale lived at the town orphanage. He was not very lonely. He had his best friend, Damon Spikes.

But Gale was haunted by living without parents. He had a huge fear of water. But he never really knew them, so it did not really matter. He had always pictured his father being a very wise and brave man.

And Teller Lawrence was not going to change his opinion.

Chapter 2: The mayor’s guest

Gale sat next to the mayor’s daughter, Anastasia Gutentag, during tea time. Gale had no chores to do around the mansion, so he was able to join the mayor for tea. Technically, this was the reason why Gale had picked the job.

The mayor was one of the big people. People referred to the bigger people as draco magnus. In fact, the name for the people his height was magnitudine exiguus. The mayor’s daughter was also a draco magnus. Anastasia was tall with hair so dark that it made Gale’s blond hair look white.

The mayor burst in. His big belly was right in front of him. Behind him was another draco magnus. He had black curly hair and big bulging muscles. Gale shivered a little at the sight of him. But the look in his eyes was very friendly.

“Anastasia, Gale,” said the mayor in his booming voice. “I would like you to meet Carter Carlston. He was on his own in the woods, living in a hut. Last night, he happened to come upon our town. He will stay with me for now until we find a place for him.”

A sudden question burst into Gale’s mind.

“How big is the park?”

The mayor stared at him for a while, and then added, “Too big for us to know.”

Two and a half centuries ago, the ancestors of the town escaped the cruelty of the world. They fled to the park and settled down.

Gale looked over at Carter. Carter smiled at him. It was hard for Gale to imagine what life would be like without the straightness of the town.

Maybe that life wasn’t so bad. But Gale wasn’t going to be interested anytime soon.

Chapter 3: The Familiar Eyes

Gale hobbled back to the orphanage where he ran into his best friend, Damon Spikes.

“Hey,” Damon said.

Gale suppressed a smile and went to bed with no supper and passed out. He was exhausted from a big day.

*******************************************************

That night Gale dreamed that a man was talking to him. He couldn’t make out the features that well. He seemed familiar.

He was saying one sentence.

“I am coming.”

********************************************************

The next day, Damon shook Gale awake.

“You have to check this out,” he said.

Gale yawned and followed him outside. The whole town was gathered around a man. He had brown hair so bright it was almost blonde. He had a big beard that went to his chest. He had a gray cloak and a big tree branch for a staff. Gale wondered why he had a staff when he did not need one. But his eyes, they were so familiar. But Gale could not remember where he had seen them before.

“SILENCE!!” cried the mayor. Then he turned to the man. “Speak.”

“I am Admiratio,” said the man. “I have come with an offer. I know the way out of the park.”

“Nonsense!” cried the chief of the guard. Right next to him was his 11-year-old daughter, Ashley Jakes.

“But, I have been outside,” Admiratio continued. “And I will take anyone who wants to go with me.”

“You have no right to say that to my people!” shouted the mayor. “I make the laws!”

“Only an idiot would go with you!” shouted Teller Lawrence.

“Then I am an idiot!” shouted Anastasia. She stepped forward. “I would like to come.”

“Me too,” said Carter. He stepped forward. “Anyone else?”

A bunch of people stepped forward. Gale found himself walking towards the man, too.

Part of him thought, What am I doing? but the the other part was ready for an adventure.

Chapter 4: Taking The Leave

Gale sat down in his bed while Damon bragged about going on the trip. Actually, the only people who were staying were the orphans besides Gale and Damon, two families, the chief guard (even though his family was going), the mayor, and Lawrence. Everyone else was coming. Gale was already starting to regret that he wanted to go. But, he wanted to learn more about the Admiratio dude.

He decided to rest on it.

**********************************************

Damon shook him awake at 5:00.

“Dude, they are leaving,” he said in a hushed voice.

Gale thought of turning down. But staying was not an option anymore.

Gale took a pack and stuffed some useless things. He did not have anything to use to sleep on, so he hoped that the ground was soft. He already had a list of what he had packed.

  • Two canteens of water

 

  • A picture of his family

 

  • His dad’s old clothes

It wasn’t much, but Gale thought it was enough for him. He followed Damon to where the group that was leaving was.

He looked over to the big huddle of people. He squeezed in.

Admiratio was standing at the edge of the road. He bonked his cane into the ground five times.

“Attention please!” he shouted. “I know this this has come quickly, but we are going to leave. I cannot guarantee all of your lives. This will be a brutal trip. And once you leave, there is no coming back.”

There was some noise in the crowd and Gale stood on his tiptoes to see the man. He fell down onto one of the girl scouts. They were three sisters, Whitney, Britney, and Mary. They were orphans but stayed with Fisher Joe’s wife. All they did was go around selling cookies. They were kind of wimpy in Gale’s opinion. He doubted that they would last the journey. There was also Fisher Joe’s family, Grocer Tom’s family, Farmer Frank’s family, Baker Bob’s family, Blacksmith Ivan’s family, Butcher Biff’s family, Alistair, who was the brother of the chief of guard and his family, Doc West, Old Man Flounder, Anastasia Gutentag, Carter Carlston, Gale, Damon and Admiratio. Gale looked around for the kids. There was him, Damon, the girl scouts, Grocer Tom’s kids, Hazel and Don Kotouc. Malcolm, Fisher Joe’s nerdy son and his two rhinoceros shaped siblings Butch and Butchina, Joey and Johnny, Alistar’s sons, Ashley Jakes who was with Alistar, Bo, who was Baker Bob’s son and his baby brother, Bobby Perkinson, Butcher Biff’s son, Griff, and Blacksmith Ivan’s little brother, Harry.

In other words, there were a lot of people coming. Gale watched as Admiratio led everyone down the road leaving the town. He followed. This was his last time seeing the place he called home.

Chapter 5: Carter

Gale stayed close to Damon as the huge group marched down the big paved road.

He was being squished by the crowd. He tried to push out, but it was impossible. He had no strength. He was the weak kind of kid.

Someone tapped Gale on the  shoulder. It was Carter.

“Hey,” he said with a gentle smile.

“Um….hey.” Carter was about two times the size of Gale. It was like comparing yourself to a statue.

“So, I realized you and your friend hadn’t brought something to sleep in. I thought I might invite you two into Anastasia and my tent.”

Gale did not know what to say. He wasn’t good with talking. He smiled and gave a thumbs up.

***********************************************************

That night, Gale and Damon huddled in the sleeping bag. It was draco magnus size, so there was plenty of room for the both of them. They played cards in the tent while Carter and Anastasia were deep in chatter.

“Where do you think that weird dude is going to take us?” Damon asked.

“I don’t know,” Gale replied.

“What do you think the outside world is like?” Damon asked again.

“I don’t know,” Gale replied again.

Gale curled up and put his head down on the pillow. Homesickness was barking at his feet. He wished his father was with him.

But I am, a voice replied.

Gale looked around. He must have been seeing things.

Chapter 6: The Butcher’s Fall

The next day, Gale and Damon kept close to Carter. He felt like a big brother to Gale. Anastasia had her arm around Carter. Was it just him, or could Gale see something coming between them?

Gale walked and looked around at the trees. They were walking down the same boring road. Gale hoped that it would end.

After a while they came to two men standing by a path that led off the road. The first man was man made out of clay. Literally made completely out of clay. The next one wore spandex that stretched over his bulky muscles. The words “I am Batman” were written all over his clothes. He was wearing a biker’s helmet. And he had no face. Just a big black pit. They were very mysterious looking.

Admiratio walked right up to them. Everyone gasped as he shook hands with them. He turned around and smiled.

“I know you are all shocked,” he said. “These are my…well…you could call them my colleagues. They would not like to reveal their names just yet.”

He smiled again and then gestured to the side path.

“This is the way out,” he said and then smiled for the third time.

Butcher Biff cut in.

“Now wait a minute. That path does not look very safe.”

Biff had a point. The side path went along a steep ridge. It was made out of sand and had little shrubbery. At the bottom of the ridge there was a cloud of gases.

“The only unsafe part is those gases. They are full of bad chemicals,” Admiratio said, looking annoyed.

“I don’t beeleev nuttin,” Biff said, crossing his arms.

“Then maybe you should test it out,” Admiratio said.

“Shu,” answered Biff. He walked over to the path.

“Be careful of the light sand. It’s slippery,” Admiratio called.

“Wudeva,” he said.

Biff stepped onto the path and started walking. And sure enough, it was safe.

“What is down there?” Biff asked, pointing to the clouds of gases.

“Toxic waste. Remember not to step on the light sand,” Admiratio reminded him.

Biff took a step forward.

“What the hell are you doing!” Admiratio yelled.

“I don’t believe you,” Biff said.

He stepped onto the light sand. He slipped a little. His legs went under him and he went flying into the clouds of gases.

For a long moment everyone stood there in shock. Screams echoed through the woods. Gales stomach flipped. This was the first time he had ever seen someone die.

“We must continue,” Admiratio said.

Gale started down the path, not knowing what was going to lie ahead.

Chapter 7: The Storm

As Gale continued down the path, he felt sicker and sicker. He kept seeing the scared look on the butcher’s face before he died. The others seemed sad, but not as surprised. Gale tried to keep as close to Carter as possible. Damon was somewhere behind them. Gale looked behind at Doc West. The old man was humbling around with his heavy backpack. Griff was running towards them.

He grabbed Doc West’s backpack.

“Out of my way, you stupid old man!” he shouted. He flung the backpack towards the edge.

The pack slipped off Doc West’s shoulders. It rolled down to the gases. Doc West stared at Griff. Griff just pushed past the old man.

Gale stared at the teenager. Griff stared back at Gale.

“What are you looking at. Butthead!” he shouted at Gale. Carter tapped Griff on the shoulder.

Griff looked up. Carter was a foot and a half taller.

“Pick on someone your own size,” Carter said. He pushed Griff ahead. Then he turned to Doc West.

“Are you okay?” he asked the old man.

“I am fine,” Doc West replied. “I am fine with sleeping on the ground.”

Carter started walking faster. Gale ran to keep up with them. They found Admiratio perched atop a cliff. He was staring out at the gases. Gale followed his eyes. Admiratio was staring at a huge cloud of gases forming.

“There’s going to be a storm tonight,” he said. “Everybody should take shelter.”

“How bad is it?” Gale asked.

“Deadly,” Admiratio responded.

***********************************************************************

That night, everyone was frantic. The storm was coming closer and closer. Gale was helping Carter set up the tent. Damon was panicking. Anastasia was sitting on the rocks with Blacksmith Ivan, staring at eachother.

Gale could see Carter looking at Ivan with jealousy. Gale felt bad for Carter, but he knew it was not his business.

Doc West was invited into Carter’s tent because he had no supplies. They ate dinner by the fire. Then Admiratio said that everyone had to be in their tents until the storm was over. Gale took one last look at the outside and then crawled into the tent.

He lay there next to Damon for a while. Waiting and waiting for the storm to come.

Then he realized someone was missing.

“Where is Anastasia?” he asked.

“With the blacksmith,” Carter yawned.

Gale lay back down for a few more minutes.

“Oh, crap,” Doc West said.

“What is it?” Gale asked.

“I forgot to use the bathroom,” he replied.

“Just hold it in,” Carter said.

Gale lay back down for another few minutes. Then Doc West started whining.

“Shut up or I will beat the crap out of you!” shouted a voice from another tent, probably Griff’s.

The wind was battering the tent. Doc West got up.

“Where are you going?” Gale asked.

“I really have to pee,”  Doc West said.

“You can’t go out! Admiratio said you will get hurt!” Gale shouted.

“I am going to get hurt if I have to hold in my pee any longer.”

Doc West left the tent and ran into the storm. Screaming filled the air. Then Gale heard the tent door open and someone come in and scream. Gale covered his ears and went to sleep.

Chapter 8: On Top Of The World

Gale woke up shaking from the night before. He even thought that he was dead for a moment. Then he pushed himself up and got out of his sleeping bag. Damon was still fast asleep. Gale opened the flap and squeezed out of the tent. When he was outside, he gasped. The whole site was covered with sand. Admiratio was perched on a rock.

“What the heck happened?” Gale asked.

“The wind, it turned over the entire mountain,” Admiratio responded. “We must leave now.”

Admiratio started rousing the groups up and telling them to go. Gale walked over to help Carter.

“How is Doc West?” Gale asked.

“I do not know,” Carter responded. “He is badly hurt”

Gale shook Doc West.

“Uhhh,” muttered the old man.

“Are you okay?” Gale asked.

“Leave me,” Doc West moaned.

Gale stared at Carter.

“We have no choice,” he said. “We must ditch the tent.”

Gale roused Damon. The two of the got their belongings and left the tent. Carter followed after them.

Gale felt very guilty about having to leave Doc West. But he knew it was hopeless. He still felt less sickened than the time he saw the butcher die. It confused him.

Everyone crowded around Admiratio. People yelled at him about the sandstorm. The clay man and the no face man were pushing the people away.

“Guys, guys,” Admiratio said. “We must continue. You cannot stop now. I never guaranteed your safety. We must take the secret mountain path.”

“The heck is that?” asked grocer tom.

“I am forbidden to show you the next path coming up, so you guys must be blindfolded.”

The people had no choice.They had to do what admiratio said.

Everyone was split into groups. Gale and Damon were separated.

Gale was put with carter and a bunch of others. Their leader was the no face dude.

“Hey you, blondie,” someone said behind him. It was Fisher Joe’s ten year old son, Malcolm. Malcolm was a nerdy and skinny kid with glasses.

“Yeah?” Gale asked.

“Is that giant dude your brother?”

“Malcolm.” It was Ashley, Alistar’s niece and the chief of guard’s 11 year old daughter. She elbowed malcolm in the side.

The man with no face blindfolded them and tied their waists to a rope.

All of a sudden, Gale felt himself being dragged by a rope. For the next two hours, he found himself being pulled from place to place.

After a while he had his blinds taken off.

He was on top of a mountain. Next to him was Malcolm on his knees. He was staring at the view.

“How high is this mountain?” he asked.

The man without a face didn’t answer.

“Where are we?” Ashley asked.

Admiratio caught up with them. He pointed ahead to the other side of the mountain. The mountain led down to a bunch of forestland.

“That,” he said, “once was downtown Manhattan.”

Carter was gasping at the view. Gale stood with Ashley and Malcolm. This was a view to remember.

The clay man caught up with his group and then Admiratio said they had to get to their site before sunset. Gale continued walking with Carter, Ashley and Malcolm. They walked for hours down a steep path to almost the bottom of the mountain. They finally arrived at a flat space for camp.

That night at the fire, Admiratio said that the next day they would have to split up into sectors of people to cross the bridge. Afterward, they would continue with the groups they were blindfolded with.

For the walk to the bridge, Gale was with  Griff, Baker Bob’s son Bo, and Biff’s wife/Griff’s mom, Nancy. It wasn’t the best group to be stuck with, but Gale knew it would be okay once he got to walk with Carter again.

That night Gale lay down outside next to Carter. He had no idea what was to come the next day.

Chapter 9: The Swing

Gale woke up the next day around 5:00 in the morning. He looked just to see the no face man get his group and have them start walking. Admiratio had already gotten up even earlier to stay at the end of the group.

The leaving group contained Damon, Blacksmith Ivan and his little brother Harry, Fisher Joe and his kids Butch and Butchina, Grocer Tom, his wife, and his two kids Hazel and Don.

After they left, Gale crawled over to the fire and watched it sparkle. People began to go to the fire and and eat breakfast. At 7:00, the clay man got his group and they started walking.

His group contained Carter, Anastasia, Old Man Flounder, Fisher Joe’s wife and Malcolm, the three girl scouts, Baker Bob and his wife, their baby, Alistair, his sons Johnny and Joey, and Ashley.

Gale stayed there for a while. He watched everyone sit there for a while. Then it was 9:00, Gale and his group had to head over towards the bridge.

On the way there, Griff was silent, Nancy was whining and saying that she would die, and Bo was panting. Gale was just walking, waiting for the walk to be over. His group was taking forever.

Gale just stared out while listening to the boring bickering.

“We’ll all die!!!” Nancy shouted.

“Shut up, Mom!” Griff shouted.

“I am tired,” Bo said.

“Shut up, fat kid!” Griff shouted.

“Can you guys quit it?” Gale said in an annoyed tone.

“Shut up, short boy!”

Gale listened to Nancy complain for a while and then just spaced out.

Then he heard a scream.

“Mom, what the F**K!” Griff shouted.

Gale looked to see Nancy flinging herself off the mountain. She screamed as she fell below. Gale was horrified. That was already the third death do far. The thought shivered him.

*************************************************************************

Ashley’s group was lagging behind. They had entered some traffic of boulders. The other group could have caught up with them by now. Hopefully they hadn’t.

Finally, they had reached the bridge. It was just a log standing over one deep chasm. The fall probably meant death. Ashley’s stomach did a dance.

Of course, as usual, Ashley was last. Was it her or did the bridge look loose?

Everyone was waiting as she walked across. She tried to focus on the other side. But then she heard the cracking sound.

**********************************************************

Gale continued with Griff and Bo until they came to a big barren space. They arrived just in time to see Ashley on the cracking bridge, running to the other side.

The bridge collapsed just as ashley reached the other side.

“Ahhh!!! I am not giving up!!!” shouted Griff. He pushed Gale down and started running.

Gale got up and dashed right after him. Bo tried to catch up but fell on his face.

Sweat poured down Gale. He was burning. His whole body throbbed. He was actually running pretty fast. He was almost at the same distance as Griff.

Gale noticed some vines hanging across the cavern. He threw himself to the edge. He was falling. He held his hands out, grabbing for something. He caught a vine. He felt himself swinging towards the other side.

He missed and swung back towards Griff. Griff lunged at him but missed and was sent hurtling to the darkness below. Gale swung back. The vine was then uprooted from the cliff. Gale went flying to the other side and Ashley caught him by his shirt. She was panting heavily.

“That was close,” she said.

Bo yelled from the other side. Butcher Bob and his wife Roberta stared across at their son.

“Oh, no! All those people stuck at the other end,” exclaimed Old Man Flounder.

“I am sorry,” said Admiratio. “But we must continue.”

“I am staying to wait for Bo and the others,” said Roberta.

“Me too,” said Bob stubbornly.

“I will stay and wait until nightfall,” said Old Man Flounder.

“I am telling you, you should come with us,” said Admiratio.

“Shut up!” screamed Bob.

“Fine!” Yelled Admiratio.

The group followed him away.

Gale still was recovering from what had just happened. He went along as Admiratio led the group into a woodsy area.

Gale was then grouped with Carter, Ashley and Malcolm.
Gale did not know what to think of Griff’s death, nor the others.

Chapter 10: The Bees

Everyone continued on in silence. Malcolm kept adjusting his glasses. Ashley was playing with her hair. Carter had his head down in silence.

Gale tried to get a glimpse of damon. He was up ahead with his arm around Harry, Blacksmith Ivan’s little brother. Anastasia was with Blacksmith Ivan.

Gale looked up at Carter. The two of them were both jealous.

After a while, Amiratio told everyone to set up camp.

Gale found a spot to sleep. Carter went over to talk to Anastasia and Damon. Gale wanted to be alone.

He looked over at Ashley with Johnny, Joey and Alistair. He looked over to see the other families with each other playing and laughing.

Gale felt longing to have his own family, to know where he belonged.

He saw Admiratio staring at the families with longing, too. Gale wondered if the man once had a family.

There was a stirring in the bushes. Everyone grew silent.

Old Man Flounder popped out holding Bobby Perkinson. The baby was squirming and crying. Everyone gasped. Admiratio stood up and walked over.

“What happened?” he asked.
“We waited by the cliff for a while. Then Bob and Roberta handed me the baby and started climbing down. They took a while. I just decided to come back and hope they return. I will take care of the baby.”

“We will give them the night,” said Admiratio.

Gale shuddered a little. The journey was getting out of hand. He wanted to go home.

****************************************************************

The next day neither Bob nor Roberta had showed up. Admiratio kept the group moving.

After a while they left the woodsy area and went back to the edge of the mountain. A huge yellow thing buzzed over Old Man Flounder’s head.

“What the hell was that?” he asked.

“That was a bee,” Said Admiratio. “They will not bother you as long as you do not bother them. They are mutated and have poisonous stings. Be careful.”

Gale got nervous. He was bug phobic. He turned to Ashley. She just looked grossed out.

After an hour, Bobby Perkinson (the baby) started getting playful. He started hitting the flowers

Once a bee landed on a flower. Bobby whacked it. Flounder noticed the bee charging at Bobby. He started hitting the bee. Flounder threw the baby to Grocer Tom’s wife.

Flounder screamed. He fell in agony. Grocer Tom leaped at the bee. He got stung in the nipple and fell back. The bee continued to sting Flounder until the old man stopped moving.

Fisher Joe grabbed Grocer Tom.

“Run!!”  yelled Admiratio.

Everyone ran after him and left the dead body of Old Man Flounder. Then they set up camp for the night.

Grocer Tom was crying in pain. Gale noticed Tom’s wife giving the baby to the girl scouts.

Admiratio approached Grocer Tom.

“He is paralyzed,” he said. “He will live but cannot walk.”

Gale shuddered a little. Poor Grocer Tom. But by the end of the trip, Tom was the least of the people to feel bad about.

Tree of Life

Summers in the suburbs never flew by. The long and winding road of hot weather and lemonade and ice cream never seemed to connect to any sort of parking lot or gas station deli. The usually weak sun shone brighter than any collection of stars ever did on the sleepless nights during which children were most energetic. They enjoyed every last bit of play and moment of joy, and they soaked up the beauty that the grassy fields emitted; whether it was sprawling on top of it or tugging at the weeds for mud pies. Children loved the summer and they never once wished the car that rode along that endless road would come to a stop. If the winding road was seemingly forever, so should be the car.
A mint green house sat lonely on its asphalted driveway. The trees around it swayed along with the ever-so-slight wind. The front steps of its porch were withered and breaking, but just sturdy enough for a family of three to step on and into their quaint living-quarters. Perched on the wood staircase were the feet of a little girl. Book in hand, she admired the plain yet scenic neighborhood and playing children that were only a little too lively for her taste. Even so, she read the sentences before her carefully and savored every line. She paid no mind to the noises of laughter and cheer.

Then there was her tree; her tree behind the house, parallel to all the others that were unimportant to her. She sat on the porch only when the book she was reading was uninteresting. Only the great moments of her current novel could be read under this tree that she loved so dearly. The moment in the story could never be as spectacular unless she was in the comfort of the soft bark and grass that, to her, was greener than any other patch.

And she would just stay there.

The playful children always looked at her with contempt and confusion. How could such a child, and their age too, sit back and do nothing on this gorgeous day of the sadly finite summer? The girl would only reply with a simple, yet witty, “the noun ‘nothing’ has a different definition in all minds. This may be yours, but it is most certainly not mine.” The taunters would look her over once or twice, shrug their shoulders, laugh and prance off, (partly because they couldn’t pick apart her artful language). Unfortunately, sometimes other much more upsetting happenings would occur, (and in the event of a crisis, the girl would retreat to her tree no matter how boring the book).

“Hey, you!” shouted a young boy in a collared shirt lacking a button. “Get that paper out your face!”

The girl looked up from her book, hiding her aggravation. “Pardon me?”

“Look at ‘er,” said a girl in a dirty, unattractive, beige plaid dress, “usin’ fancy words like ‘pardon’ and such.”

“Better stop spending so much time with all those books,” said a larger boy in a similar outfit to the first boy. “You might catch some sorta English virus!”

“I don’t think I know what you’re talking about.” The girl stood up from the porch steps and walked backwards onto the doormat, preparing for the worst. “There are no English viruses. At least not that I know of.”

“Gimme that,” spat the dirty girl. She snatched the book right out of the sweaty hands of her opponent. The dirty girl turned the book over in her germ-infested fingers. She opened the front cover.

“‘Lori’?” asked the larger boy, reading over the dirty girl’s shoulder.

“That’s my name,” said the girl. “Now if you’d please–”

“So, your name ain’t Booky after all?” asked the shorter boy rhetorically. “See, that’s what we’d been calling you before. We hadn’t known your real name, so we made you a nickname.”

“Oh, well my name’s–”

“I like Booky more,” said the dirty girl.

“May I have my book back?”

“Booky!” the larger boy yelled. “Booky!”

And so on, the three sour children danced around Lori, chanting “Booky” while holding the book that she had been enjoying so much. The dirty girl waved the book around while Lori attempted to grab it, simultaneously worrying about the horrid stench the dirty girl’s hands would leave on the inside cover and front. Maybe her stench would bleed through to the text itself, Lori thought. That would be awful.

After lots of running around and even a tumble into the mud, Lori retrieved her book and ran to the back of her house where the tree awaited. She looked at the thin branches that contained more love than she ever received from her peers.

Lori didn’t need friends. She didn’t want friends. Worrying about others was something she was never good at, and she was under the impression that each and every person deserved to be cared about by someone who could truly take on the responsibility of looking out for another human being. She also had the theory that children who have bad attitudes and personalities in general are the way they are because their parents took on too big of a challenge. Lori was daunted by the idea of parenting. People were too much work. It wasn’t like any of the neighborhood children appealed to her anyway. They were all truly horrid creatures in her mind, and she couldn’t imagine being “responsible” for them. All they wanted to do was ignore their education, get dirty, wash themselves off and get dirty again. Compared to other children, Lori was very refined, but in all honesty she was an ordinary introvert who wanted a nice spot on the grass and a complicated fictional text to decipher.

She was just more mature. All through the school year, Lori concentrated on getting good marks. All through the summer, she read books, praying that no one would bother her, but those prayers were never usually answered.
Lori sat under the tree and tried to stop the tears from escaping her tired eyes. She always tried, but she usually failed. She hugged the tree while her tears stained the bark, the bark soaking them up and taking them into account. Lori always felt the branches of the tree wrap around her the same way her branches wrapped around the tree’s stump.

Lori knew she was different, but she didn’t care. Any thoughts a friend was supposed to talk about to a friend she would write down on a piece of paper and crumple up. She would then uncrumple it, impale it using the tree branch and leave it there. You couldn’t tell how many papers were actually dangling from the tree branches unless you looked closely, but no one came near that old tree besides Lori. Whenever the idea that there were things wrong with her life occurred to her, she grabbed a pencil from a can on the kitchen table and ripped a small piece of paper off a larger one. She’d sit on the grass under her tree. Her eyebrows would scrunch and her fists would tighten as she worked her pencil around the paper trying her best not to break the point for fear of running into her mother and being forced to have a conversation when entering the house a second time. She couldn’t spend too much time gathering supplies or else the idea would be lost forever. She word-vomited whatever came to mind, good or bad.

Unfortunately, the notes were usually associated with the adjective “bad.”

Lori never read a note twice, and as her life went on, each recorded moment was forgotten. Lori was conscious of the darkness of some of her notes. She tried to put the ones that she thought would scare others (and even herself ) the most towards the top of the tree, so they would still loom over her but not as closely.
Many summers later, Lori sat under her tree with a new book. It took her that long to realize that she couldn’t read on the porch anymore. The notes on the tree branches had since tripled as a result of various other events that took place since her eighth summer. Her father passed away from undiagnosed pneumonia, her aunt moved in with them after her drunk husband left her, her grades declined, she developed more immense depression, kids became meaner and her teachers lost interest in her once outstanding book reports. Lori also just kept thinking of more notes to put on the tree in general. Feelings, internal and social struggles, anything that made her want to cry. Writing notes to add to the tree was a substitute. The grass wasn’t nearly as green as it used to be, yet the tree stayed as not-lively as it was when she was younger.

Outside of school, the neighborhood children didn’t bother her as much as they did when Lori was smaller and more vulnerable to such taunting, but she was in middle school now. The children were mean whether they lived near her or not, yet they soon realized that she was experienced in ignoring them.

But that didn’t stop them.

They made fun of her clothes, which were funnily enough, a lot nicer than theirs. Girls would tease her about her hair and say she smelled bad, but that bad smell was the odor of earth, grass, parchment and nature. The boys would call her ugly and make various jokes about her appearance. Sixth grade was hard because that was when it picked up, but now she was in seventh grade, and she expected it at every turn. She considered herself immune.

Almost.

Fridays were never nice. It was the one day of the week when all the parents would let their children play after school and go from neighborhood to neighborhood strolling, laughing, playing and talking. If Lori was lucky, her classmates wouldn’t come into her neighborhood, and sometimes they didn’t. If they did, Lori would sit on the back steps of her house in the backyard, so she was hidden, but if she was being threatened she had an easy getaway.

One Friday afternoon, Lori thought she heard the acidic laughter that was vocalized when kids were approaching. She calmly and quietly, as if it were as normal as going to the bathroom, went into her house through the back door, locked it and sat on the couch to continue her book. One thing was different this time, though. In usual instances, the laughter would get louder and louder as the kids passed the mint house. Sometimes the kids would shout “Booky,” a name that followed Lori around since her younger days. Then the laughter would resume and begin to get softer and softer. Lori would then be safe to go back outside. This time, the laughter got louder and louder as the kids approached but it stayed at one, uncomfortably nearby-sounding volume. Lori looked out the window and saw five kids walking around and picking at a tree.

Lori’s tree.

She wasn’t going to take it. She was not an instigator of conflict; if it were any other part of the property, she would have waited it out. But this was her tree. There were things written on slips of paper dangling from that tree. Embarrassing things. Lori ran outside.

“Hey!” she yelled. “Get off my property!”

The kids let go of the tree branches and turned around slowly, giving Lori their full attention. “Well, would you look who it is,” said a gingery boy who went by Jon. “It’s Booky.”

Lori then decided to explore a new side of herself that she never thought would see the light of day; a side she never let outside her own head. “That’s not my name, and you know it.”

There were some “ooh’s” and “ah’s” coming from Jon’s friends.

“Aren’t you a feisty one,” asked a girl called Rosie. “You better watch your attitude, little girl.”

“You first.” After Lori said those words, she heard a faint rustling noise coming from the tree branches. She looked over and saw one of the other kids pulling a note off a branch and begin reading it. There were a few notes at his feet as well.

“Ooh, this one’s about you, Sally!” he called.

“I wanna see!” yelled Sally and another girl simultaneously.

“No!” Lori shouted at the top of her lungs. She dived at the nosy child impulsively and didn’t even realize she was tackling him. Sally and her friend stepped back and abandoned the path they were planning to take to get to the beckoning note. There was no punching, but the boy was kicking his feet in self defense.

“Get off o’ me!” he shouted as his friends watched, unsure what to do.

“Lori!”

Lori’s mom came out into the yard in a fierce rage. Her scolding words flew at Lori’s face but bounced right off as Lori resisted her mother’s pulling, keeping a watchful eye on the intrusive children and not listening. Everything her mother said went in one ear and out the other as she screamed and cried, claiming that her privacy was being invaded. She was hysterical, and even though she was screaming at the kids to leave, her craziness was what shooed them away. They ran down the street in fits of laughter and tears trickled down Lori’s face as she stared after them. Her mother, slowly figuring out what actually happened, pulled her daughter into a tight hug, cupping her face and holding it against her bosom as wet spots formed, dampening her once clean blouse.

Lori’s mother stared behind her daughter and examined what she could see of the tiny slips of paper dangling from so many of the branches. She never normally noticed them, and if she did, she never considered them something of so much importance to her daughter. She couldn’t imagine what must’ve been written on them that was so private. Lori calmed down eventually and her mother decided not to question her any further. She simply told Lori to sit in the kitchen with her for the rest of the day with her book, some lemonade and a warm blanket. Sometimes, as she washed the dishes, Lori’s mother would glance at her daughter to check on her. She would catch sight of her soft cheeks glazed with the light crust of dried tears, yet her expression itself stayed as stoic and relaxed as ever.

It wasn’t until Lori’s eighth grade year that her mother and aunt finally started to observe the pattern in her daily routines. Lori would come home from school, do her homework and spend the rest of the day reading under her tree if the weather wasn’t too harsh. A new addition to this routine, they noticed sometimes, was a minute or two that Lori reserved for a light cry. If they were lucky, they would maybe even catch her adding a note to the tree. Lori’s aunt would always say, “there’s something wrong with that girl,” but Lori’s mother would always reply with, “no, sister, there’s something right with her.” Lori’s mom always thought that her daughter would amount to great things. She recognized her daughter’s knowledge of the world and its twists and turns. She figured Lori was saving her booming thoughts until she was old enough to interpret them, but for now, she was showcasing them on this tree that no one dared go near. What Lori’s mother didn’t know was how hard it must be to live with such a big brain, and how it can make your heart and soul rot slowly away over time.

That was exactly what happened to Lori when it became too late.

She didn’t come home from her first day of high school. Her mom waited for her

anxiously while her aunt rambled on about some man she’d met at a pub. It had been four and a half hours since Lori’s expected time of arrival had passed and she still wasn’t home. Her mother started preparing for the worst, and rightly so.

Lori’s mom went outside to the backyard and decided it was time to read these notes. She’d pondered the idea that maybe they held clues as to where she was. Her slippers pressed against the damp grass with urgency as she made her way to the withering tree. She grabbed the first note she could see.

Papa dead from pneumonia. Rest in peace.

Lori’s mom shivered as she remembered the awful event. She crumpled the note back up, threw it on the ground and removed another one.

Joey called me an ugly bat and said the same about Mama. What a horrible boy.

She grabbed another, intrigued.

Aunt Anna is drinking again. Mama argues with her a lot and it keeps me up at night.

Lori’s mom kept going through the notes in what seemed to her like chronological order; every note she picked up was more dark and serious than the one before it. She started with the ones towards the bottom of the tree first.

Sam Boyce called me a toad. He’s the toad. I hope he burns in hell one day.

I see the cars coming when I walk across the street. I know the car is a safe distance away and that I can make it across in time, but it takes more power to will myself to keep walking. Don’t stop walking. People will be sad.

Billy Sanders is really swell. Very cute, too. I like him because he is nice to me. I think he likes me.

Billy Sanders is a phony.

Sally punched me in the stomach today, so I punched her back and got sent to the principal’s office. It’s funny how only I get caught. They’re gonna burn in hell one day.

Billy Sanders tried talking to me today, so I spit in his face.

I almost stopped walking.

Everyone will burn in hell one day. Just you watch.

Booky will get them all back one day, those sinners.

The darker the notes, the more scared Lori’s mother became. Soon a pile of

crumpled pieces of paper formed at her feet as she picked up the last one from the tree. With tired eyes she looked around at the leaves, once an unnatural, papery white, now back to green. She sighed as she tossed the last note onto the ground, but suddenly, some black markings on a lone leaf caught her eye. She looked closer and was soon able to make out the words For Mom, scrawled on the leaf in thick Sharpie. She hadn’t noticed it before. She carefully ripped the leaf from its branch and turned it over. She read the words slowly and carefully, then out loud so her sister, who came up behind her, could hear. She took a deep breath.

Don’t come looking for me.

 

A Short Story

“Hello!”

“Goodbye!”

The tiny girl watched the older one in disbelief. No one had not returned her hellos before!

“Look,” the older one said, placing a hand on her hip, “I’m six. So I am older than you and you have to listen to me!”

The small girl was confused. She was four, why did she have to listen to anyone? Kids were supposed to be treated like babies until they reached fourth grade, or so she thought. They were supposed to be pinched on the cheeks and be cooed at, not follow instructions!

“Go clean my room,” the older child said, grabbing her Barbies and walking down the stairs. “Oh! And also, don’t touch my flowers. If you do…” The older girl dragged her finger in a line across her throat.

The little girl gulped and nodded. She scurried up the stairs, her eyes widened at the sight.

There were toys everywhere with no empty space on the ground! From wall to wall there was trash, food and toys. There were headless baby dolls on the floor, the walls were covered with dry gum and the carpet had changed from a caramel color to a disgusting poop-like color.

Hours passed and the room was slightly better. You could now see the poop-colored floor and the slightly pink walls.

“Little girl!” the older girl called from downstairs. “Are you done?”

“No! Not yet,” she called.

“Well, hurry it up!” There was a pause. “Oh, hello, mother!”

The older girl’s mother was a tall woman. She had shoulder-length light brown hair and green eyes. This was the little girl’s chance to get the older girl in trouble. Not doing her chores, would get her into serIous trouble. The little girl skipped down the stairs. “Hi, step-mommy!” the little girl said, wrapping her little girl arms round one of the woman’s legs.

“Oh, honey, why are you all dirty?” the woman asked as the little girl looked at the older one
The older girl was repeating the “I’ll kill you” sign.

“Older step-sissy made me clean her room!” The little girl giggled, grabbing the woman’s hand. “I want to show you! I want to show you!”

“Oh ok, just give me a minute to talk to older step-sissy,” the woman said in a stern voice before picking up the girl and bringing her into the kitchen. The little girl skipped up the stairs and listened to her step-mom telling off the older sister.

“How dare you make your little sister clean your disgusting room! I don’t want to hear any excuses, young lady! You are grounded!”

The woman came up the stairs. “Ok, sweetheart,” her step-mom said, “show me her newly clean room.” The younger girl dragged her mother by the hand into the now clean room.

“Wow! Her room hasn’t been this clean in forever! I’m so proud of you! Do you want to go get some ice cream?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” the little girl squealed. “Ice cream! Ice cream!”

Over the years, the older sister continued to torment the younger one until the older one went to college. At college, the older sister attended parties, failed and was kicked out.

The younger sister went to college, didn’t go to parties and passed with flying colors.

The younger girl grew up and now works at Apple as a boss. She lives in a mansion somewhere in Beverly Hills.

The older girl also grew up and is still older. She doesn’t work anywhere and lives off of unemployment. She lives in a shack in some unknown place.

So, the older girl saved up some money and called her sister on one of those phones you see on the corner of the street.

“Hello?”

“Y-yes, it’s me, big sissy.” The older girl coughed. “I need you to help me straighten up and find a proper place to live.

“I’m sorry, perhaps you wanted me to connect you to a representative. Okay, give me a moment,” a robotic voice said, then soon after, music started playing.

The older girl looked at the phone. Since she had lived in a shack after college, she had no idea of the new progress in technology. The older sister sat waiting on the phone to be connected to a representative.

“Hi, my name is Tanya. How may I help you today?”

“I need to speak with your boss. Can you connect me to her?”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason why?”

“I need a reason why. Ma’am, if you are just going to waste my time, I’m going to have to hang up on you.”

“Fine. Do that.”

Beep. The call ended. The older sister wanted to throw the phone on the ground but she didn’t want to waste her four quarters. She had to find another way to reach her sister.

A few more years passed and the older sister had gotten a job. She had barely scraped up enough money to fly to California.

The older sister was boarding the plane when a voice came from the intercom.

“I’m sorry, folks, but due to volcanic ash in the air, we have to cancel the flight today.”

“What?!” the older sister shouted. “I saved up for years for this flight! You take me to California or I will get you!”

The older sister ended up getting a refund and buying another plane ticket. She flew to California and arrived at Apple.

“Hi,” she said to the lady at the front desk, “I’m here to see your boss. Um,” she repeated, “I am here to see your boss.”

The lady let her in after an hour of negotiating. She stepped into the elevator and went to the very top floor. Once the elevator opened, she stepped into the room.

“Hello?” the older sister said. “Is that you?”

The person in the large chair turned around and the older sister’s smile grew. It was her younger sister!

“Oh, I missed you! Listen, I need a job here and you can help me!” The older sister got on her hands and knees.

“No. Do you remember how you tormented me all throughout our childhood? Never.” The younger sister leaned forward and whispered, “Well, if I let you work here, then I’d be seen as a baby, but you can work next door with my good friend, Alejandro. Now goodbye.” The younger sister handed her a small business card with a picture of pizza on it.

The older sister ended up taking over for Alejandro when he passed away. Her pizza shop ended up being the biggest pizza shop ever until she died.

That Divorce Story

Later, I’d wonder what would happen if I hadn’t spilled the milk that morning in my haste to pour it into the cereal bowl. I wouldn’t have to have taken a detour on the way home, and I wouldn’t have discovered what I did.

I had overslept, and so I spilled milk as I rushed to pour myself cereal. As I wolfed it down, I was treated to the “this is how you kiss, in case you were wondering” show, performed by my parents, which made me roll my eyes, but I clapped when they were done. Still, I was an hour late to school, had to argue with the secretary about whether or not my absence was excusable, found out that my best friend, Amanda, was angry at me because I forgot to call her, and, by the time three o’clock rolled around, wanted nothing more than to sink back into my welcoming bed.

But I couldn’t yet. I had homework, and, as I was driving home in the Toyota I’d gotten for my sixteenth birthday, I got a text from my mom, which I pulled over to check (no one can say I wasn’t responsible when driving). The text instructed me to swing by the grocery store and perhaps purchase some milk, because apparently I’d spilled out the last of it this morning, and my mom was too busy to do it.

As I pulled up to the neighborhood Kmart, I was thinking about how annoying it was that I’d managed to make myself even more delayed. I needed to finish that history paper, and apologize to Amanda for whatever I’d done. I sighed in a mix of self-disgust and impatience as I plunked the milk (nonfat — I was trying to lose weight) down onto the checkout counter.

I lugged the shopping bags back to the car (they weren’t that heavy, but I was both chunky and unathletic) and jammed them in the trunk. As I walked around to the front of the car, my eye caught on a couple kissing a few yards away. The woman was leaning back against the wall of the supermarket, and the man was pressing up against her. I rolled my eyes — ever since the breakup with my most recent boyfriend, I had been on a crusade against PDA — and swung into the car.

As I drove out of the parking lot, I passed the couple who were (still!) kissing against the wall.

My foot slammed on the brakes.

No. No, it couldn’t be. No, it wasn’t.

But the back of the head that was now just a few feet away had the crumpled brown hair. The old gray sweater was unmistakable. The man was my father. And he was kissing a young blonde like he was married to her. But I knew better. He was married to my mother, and they were very much in love.

Were they?

Only seconds had passed, but all my breath had whooshed out of my body in one swift gasp. I looked closer. The woman was wearing a name tag. Hello My Name is Zoe. She was one of the checkout clerks.

Several cars were now lined up behind me, waiting to exit the parking lot, but I couldn’t move. Or breathe. All I could do was stare as my father took his hands off Zoe’s hips and put them on his chest.

With shaking hands, I pulled out my phone and took a picture of them kissing. I have no idea why I did that, but the only thing that came to mind later is that I was once told that if we saw a crime being committed and we couldn’t do anything to help, we should record it. This was definitely a crime.

A few horns honked. I tried to make myself move, but I was still frozen. A man got out of the car behind me and walked up to my window. He stood between me and the couple, who before I had thought was annoying but whom I now realized was the worst thing that would ever happen to me. “Why the hell aren’t you moving?” he shouted angrily at me.

I rolled down my window. “I’m sorry,” I said slowly, and I saw my father break away for the first time from the hot blonde who was not my mother, “but I’ve just discovered that my father is cheating on my mother.”

My father turned around, an expression of the most extreme horror and shame that I have ever seen. My heart twisted. “Sammi,” he whispered.

The driver of the other car looked at him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked him.

I closed the window and drove away.

I dropped the milk at the doorstep of our house, but I didn’t go inside. I couldn’t face my mother with what I knew. I couldn’t ruin what had probably been a normal day for her. I couldn’t ruin what had been a normal life.

So instead I walked to Amanda’s apartment. At first she refused to let me in, but when I told her what had happened — with tears running down my face like they had been since I had discovered it — she forgave me promptly and told me that of course I could stay over.

“But Sammi, I don’t understand,” she said later, as I lay on her bed, eating a cookie (I was on a diet, but screw it, I needed comfort food). “I always thought that they would stay together.”

I rolled over and stared at her. “So did I,” I said honestly. “They were big about kissing, gooey love notes, Valentine’s Day…”

Amanda looked at me with nothing but sympathy in her eyes.

“And, I know it’s horrible to say, but if he had to cheat, he could have cheated for mind, not body.” Amanda understood, because she’d seen my mom. My mother was petite and had short brown hair, and smart glasses. She had the kind of appearance that screamed intelligence, and she is very intelligent. I always felt proud that my father was smart enough to pick my mother not because she was beautiful, but because she was wonderful. But now all of my father’s suppressed shallowness had come rushing up to the surface, I guessed, and all of my respect for him had vanished.

Several seconds passed in silence. Amanda had never been very good at consoling me (when I broke up with Jack, the only condolences she had for me were “Well, it was bound to happen someday”), but this was one area that she had absolutely no experience in. Her father had died before she was born, and her mother had never even started dating again, so she had no idea what it felt like to see your parents’ relationship implode. “Well,” she said finally, “at least we might have something in common soon — single mothers!”

As you can imagine, that did not do anything to make me feel better, but I appreciated her effort. “Oh, Mandy,” I said. “Let’s paint our nails.”

“Okay,” she said, pulling out her bottles of nail polish.

“No, wait,” I said excitedly, grabbing her hand. “Let’s get our nails painted at a nail salon! I’ve always wanted to have them done professionally!”

Amanda thought that was a great idea, so we grabbed money and set off.

As we talked about school and our friends, for the first time since I’d saw them earlier today, my father and that horrible Zoe disappeared from my mind. I was thinking about other things — at least, until I saw my father sitting alone on a park bench, looking absolutely dejected.

Again, he didn’t see me, but, again, all the breath was taken out of me in one quick gasp. “Amanda,” I breathed.

“C’mon, Sammi,” Amanda whispered urgently, dragging me around a corner until my father was out of sight. We tried to continue talking lightly like we had been before, but it wasn’t the same, and when we got to the nail studio, it was filled with middle-aged women, all looking tired and worn out, like they’d just discovered that their husbands had been cheating on them. I didn’t know if looking like that was just a part of being in your forties, but I knew that my mother was in her forties, and she’d always looked lighter than air, especially when she was with my father. I didn’t want to see her reduced to looking like these women, sad and pathetic and worn out, with all their youth left behind, unable to be reclaimed. She had always seemed young when she was with my father. Had my father always seemed young when he was with her? Or had he just been looking for a woman who was actually young, who would make him feel young? I’d had boyfriends before, who I had at the time thought myself in love with, but I never felt any different than I usually did with them. I had felt like myself. But my mother once told me that she fell in love with my father because she felt like a whole new person with him. Now that I thought about it, it was always my mother who would leave little notes on the door, who made a big deal out of Valentine’s Day. Had I just imagined that it was my father too?

All this was running through my head while I was sitting in a chair watching yet another middle-aged woman paint my nails. I was so distracted by everything that was going through my head that I didn’t notice until I was paying that I had had little decals of hearts glued against a baby-pink background on my nails. Exactly the opposite of my current mood. A cracked heart against a black background would have been more expressive of my feelings.

“Nice!” Amanda said appreciatively as we compared the finished products.

“No,” I told her. “No, it’s not nice.”

We went back to Amanda’s house, where we informed her mother that I was going to be staying over. Amanda’s mother was concerned, and said that I should call my parents to make sure that they knew where I was, but I wasn’t sure that I would be able to talk to my mother. But I had to, so I called her.

“Hey mom,” I said when she picked up. “I’m gonna be staying over at Amanda’s house tonight.” Did my voice sound different than normal? Was it weighted down with the knowledge that I now held?

“That’s fine, honey.” My mother’s voice was exactly the same as usual, if just a tinge worried. “But do you know where your father is? He’s not home yet.”

I tried to make my voice as normal as possible. “No, I don’t know. Probably stuck in traffic.” Of course he wasn’t home yet! How could he face his family after what he had just done? I wouldn’t be able to, but then again, I would never do such a thing in the first place.

“You’re probably right, sweetie.” My mother sounded relieved, like my theory was truth just because I’d said it. “Oh wait… I think that’s him right now.” She hung up, but not before I heard my father’s unmistakable deep voice say “Sorry I’m late.”

I stared at the phone after I put it back in its charger, wondering what was going on at the other end of it. Was my father confessing to my mother? Was he pretending that nothing had happened, that everything was fine, that life would go on the same as always? Had he done this before? How often had he and Zoe kissed against the wall of a supermarket and gotten away with it? The thought made me sick.

“Everything okay?” It was Amanda, appearing in her pajamas.

“Yeah,” I replied. But it wasn’t. But I couldn’t tell her this, so I just sunk back into my sleeping bag and fell asleep listening to Amanda talking about comfortable mundane events.

Sometimes when I wake up, there’s this brief period where I’m just exiting my oblivion, feeling the light press onto my eyelids, in a stage between being aware and unaware, where I know I’m awake but I don’t know anything else. Today I didn’t even get that relief. The very instant that I was jerked out of sleep by Amanda, I remembered everything. But there was nothing I could do, so I just put on a smile and turned to look at my best friend, who was still shaking me.

“Sammi, I know what we’re going to do today!” she said in her best Phineas impression.

“Oh yeah?” I asked her, smiling.

“We’re going to get haircuts!”

“Um… I got one last month.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t really change anything! You just shortened it a bit! Don’t you want to try something else?”

I contemplated this. It would be strange to look in the mirror and see something other than the long, straight, black locks that had been my companion throughout most of my life. I liked my hair, and I didn’t feel the need to change it. It seemed kind of unnecessary.

I would have thought that Amanda would have said the same. She, like me, had had one hairstyle that she’s had for as long as I’ve known her: chin length wavy brown hair. But now she wanted to change it. I couldn’t think of a reason for why she would want to change up her hair, so I guessed that she thought that it would make me feel better. But I wanted one constant in my life, one thing that would not change at the same time that everything else did.

“Not really,” I told her. She rolled her eyes.

“Sammi, you are so boring.”

“That may be,” I acknowledged, “but boring can be fun.”

“No, boring is the opposite of fun.”

“Well, if I find it fun, I guess I’m not boring.”

“Whatever.”

The conversation continued like this all through breakfast, with Amanda telling me that I was a scaredy-cat. I denied this over and over, but as she kept making fun of me, I realized that maybe this was true.

I was afraid. I was afraid of change. I was afraid to tell my mother about what I had discovered because I knew that so much would change.

But so much already had.

Amanda watched the grin slide from my face as quickly as it had been plastered on that morning. “Sammi, what’s wrong?” she asked, and then closed her mouth quickly, realizing that that was a somewhat stupid question.

“What isn’t wrong?” I replied, then put my head down on the table.

While my eyes were staring into the carved wood, I realized something. I realized that my mother needed to know, no matter how much it would hurt her. She needed to know so she could react, and then she would start to heal. Maybe she and my father would break up, and my father would marry Zoe, and that thought caused a lot of pain. But maybe after they broke up, my mother would marry a devoted man who put her above everything else in the world. Maybe she’d be happy again. Or, maybe she’d forgive my father, and they’d start to work out their problems, and by the time they brought up the cheating thing again, they would be able to talk about it, and my father would learn to put his family before anything else. And I realized that either option would be a lot healthier for my mother — and, probably, my father — than this twisted relationship that they had going on now. My parents needed to know where they stood in each other’s minds.

So I said goodbye to Amanda, thanked her for being there for me, and walked home, my mind spinning about how best to say it, and wondering, hoping, that my father had already told her.

I stood outside my apartment door, staring at the milk carton that apparently nobody had bothered to pick up. A really foul smell was coming out of it. Sort of a metaphor for what might have been going on inside.

“Dad,” I said quietly, dropping my bags on the floor. Because there my parents were, laughing, my mother sitting on my father’s lap with his arms around her.

“Honey!” he said, sounding happy, but the smile was gone from his face, and my mother looked at him in confusion.

“Scott?” she asked him, smoothing her hair down. “Hey, sweetie.”

I didn’t waste time. With what I had decided this morning at Amanda’s house, I knew that if I didn’t say it right away, I would never be able to. And no matter how much it hurt my mother, she had to know the truth.

“How could you?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “You’re disgusting.”

“Sammi, please,” my father said, his voice cracking with pain. “Let’s talk about this in another room.”

I said, “No. No more secrets.” Then I turned to my mother, whose eyes were already wide with confusion and fear. I hated doing this to her. But she needed to know. “Yesterday, I saw dad making out with another woman at the supermarket.”

My mother didn’t gasp, and she didn’t burst into tears. She didn’t even make a sound. She just stared at me. If you just saw her reaction, you would not have been able to guess that she’d been given bad news at all.

“Jennifer…” my father said, and his expression nearly broke me.

My mother was quiet. She was still staring at me. Her eyebrows lifted, then settled, as she turned to look at my father. “Just tell me one thing,” she said at a normal volume, her voice perfectly steady but monotonous. “Was it Zoe?”

“Jennifer…” repeated my father. Tears were running down his face. I looked away, upset that his expression was upsetting me. Why should I care if he was in pain, after what he’d done to our family?

“You know who Zoe is?” I tried to ask, but my throat was closed. It actually hurt, this lump in my throat, and my eyes were welling up, and my face was scrunching, and my fists were clenching, and everything inside me was getting tighter like I was trying to hold myself together as my family unraveled before my eyes.

Nobody knew what to do. It hurt, to not be able to do anything. I closed my eyes to stop the tears. My head was roaring, but the apartment was silent.

“Jennifer, please.” It was as if my father thought that saying her name, instead of “pookie” or “honeybun” or any of the pet names that he usually called her, would bring her back to him, would somehow prove how serious he was about her. “Zoe was just…”

“A distraction?” my mother interrupted him. “Ooh, was your work overwhelming you and you just needed to clear your head and since I was so busy you just went to Zoe for comfort?” I was shocked by the biting sarcasm in her words. That was not how I thought she would have handled the situation.

“Jenny.” It was a statement this time, but whatever the rest of the sentence was, it was swallowed by sobs.

“No,” said my mother. “Go.” Then she chuckled. We both stared at her.

“Jenny, it was all a mistake, I can explain!” My father sounded nearly desperate. “Or I can’t explain, but all I want is for you to forgive me. Please give me a second chance.”

“More like a fourth chance!” My mother didn’t sound angry. In fact, she sounded kind of amused.

“You… don’t seem that angry…” my father wavered.

“Oh, I’m not angry. Yet. I’m sure the anger will catch up to me. But right now I’m just amused. It’s so funny, isn’t it, that I ignored all the signs. When I was buying groceries, that checkout woman, Zoe, was always hinting that something was going on with you two. ‘Your husband is so nice! He’s so charming, really makes a girl feel special.’ And I just ignored it! Isn’t that funny?”

“No, it’s not funny,” my father started to say, but my mother, raising her voice for the first time since I’d told her, yelled “GO!”

Then she turned around and hid her face in the pillowcase until my father turned around and walked out of the door. He didn’t even look at me.

After he’d left, my mother raised her head. Her face was stained with tears. “Sammi,” she whispered, opening her arms, and I fell gladly into them.

“Are we going to be okay?” I asked her, raising my head finally.

“Yes.”

“Are you mad at me?”

My mother turned to look at me. “Of course I’m not. I’m so glad you told me. I probably wouldn’t have believed it if anyone else told me. I’m mad at your father, but it’s going to be okay.”

And because I was with her, my sweet, fragile, strong mother, I believed it.

Us Against The World: Prologue

It’s the first day of school. Eyes wide open. I’m tired, but I’ll live. I push my blanket off of me and turn to the side. I see my clock on my desk. Seven o’clock. Good thing I got to sleep that late. These days, I have trouble sleeping.

It doesn’t take me long to get dressed, brush my teeth, grab my backpack, and walk downstairs to get breakfast. I am a good student, but I’m not very enthusiastic to go back to school. Who is? Regardless, I’m always tired and I get cranky if I don’t get a little bit of physical activity before I do anything. I know, I sound like a typical seventh grader. But please, cut me some slack. I’m trying my best.

My mom waits for me in the kitchen, holding a box of Cheerios in her right hand and a box of Frosted Flakes in her left hand. “Which one?” she asks.

“No, ‘good morning, how’d you sleep, you ready for school?’” I ask as I sit down at our white, circular kitchen table.

“I thought I didn’t have to bore you with that standard first day of school mom speech,” she says in reply.

“I’ll have the Cheerios.” I look around to see if my father is awake. I don’t see him, so he must still be in the bedroom. I am an only child, so I get a lot of attention from my parents, and they always get up to see me off in the morning. However, my parents’ high level of attentiveness for me has never really helped me socially. I’m not one of the popular kids at my school. I truly don’t mind their cliques and exclusiveness; I want to do what I want to do and that’s it.

Today is the first day of the eighth grade. I didn’t think I’d make it. Honestly. After spring in seventh grade I didn’t think I could even be here. I thought I’d be still caught up in a separate time. Still fighting reality. I lost that battle. Reality hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. But it seems that I’ve overcome it.

My dad comes down the stairs in his suit. He is a corporate lawyer, at the top of his firm. He holds a briefcase in his right hand, where the watch he’s worn every single day has sat for the past six years.

“Morning, Anna,” he says cheerfully. He walks over and kisses the top of my head.

“Morning, Dad,” I say. My dad never says ‘Good morning’; always just ‘Morning.’ I find that a little funny. My dad abbreviates a lot of other phrases too, like ‘sup,’ or ‘how ya doin.’ He tries to act all hip and cool and modern, when really he just makes a fool of himself.

My dad plants himself in the chair across from me as he picks up the paper from the counter. My mom lays down a cream cheese bagel in front of him, which he gladly picks up and devours. I finish my breakfast and pick up my bag. I head for the door.

“Bye sweetie,” they both say, almost in harmony.

“Bye,” I call.

“Wait, Anna,” my mom stops me. “Honey…just try your best out there.”

“Okay, Mom,” I say dully as I close the door.

It’s kind of chilly outside for September. Then again, it’s always cold in Minnesota. I live in a small town called Eriksville, near St. Paul. We are not a big community, but we have the best middle school football team in the state. I don’t care much for sports; there’s one thing I have in common with a lot of the other girls in my school, other than the cheerleaders. I’ve only been to one school game, and that was what we call the Premier, the biggest football game of the year. It was like our super bowl.

I walk along the sidewalk of Turner Street, where I live. The school bus stop is a few streets away. It usually arrives at 8:15. When I arrive, though, it is 8:14. The bus doesn’t show up until 8:23 – annoyingly late. I’m going to get to school with fifteen seconds to spare, if I’m lucky. When I get on the bus, it’s not very crowded, since most people live closer than I do, so they can just walk to school. I sit in the very back on the left, and make myself comfortable. School starts at 8:40, and the bus ride takes about  eighteen minutes. So I need a break.

More people flood on as it stops twice more. Still, no one sits next to me. I assume people just don’t want to be in the back; they want to be sitting next to their friends in the front, so they can get off first, since they know we’re going to be late.

Finally, we arrive in the parking lot. The people flood off and I’m the last one to step out. Everyone races towards the building. I stay back and walk, enjoying the last bit of the outdoors I will get until recess later today. Once I enter the new classroom for the first time, it is 8:40 on the dot.

The new teacher, Mr. Meeker, introduces himself. He is our English teacher. I like him. He seems nice. I can tell whether someone is kind or mean based on the tone of his or her voice. Mr. Meeker has a gentle, soothing voice that comforts me.  I feel like I can trust him.

“Okay class, it is really great to meet you.” I like Mr. Meeker, but I tune this part out. It isn’t necessary for me to hear. The same speech every single year — I’m not interested. My attention returns, though, when I hear, “For your first assignment — to get to know you — I’d like you to do some creative writing about a lesson you learned last year. And I don’t mean a school lesson, I mean something that you learned that has shaped you…that has influenced your attitude. Please try and say as much as you can.”

There is a lot I can say; maybe I’m not very comfortable with sharing everything. But then, I hear my mother’s voice echo in my head: “Honey, just try your best.” So I have decided it’s been enough hiding my past, it’s time to enter this year with a new perspective on life.

“You have one hour, starting…now.”

Star Crossed

We weren’t talking. We were just lying there, the night time mist seeping into our skin. Faint chirps of a bird echoed through the darkness. The shouts of the chaos inside were drowned out by the quiet calmness of the outdoors. I squirmed against the blades of grass at my back. I was trying to find a more comfortable position and trying not to think about the fact that he was right next to me.

The sky was beautiful that night, dotted with glittering stars — little diamonds against a coal canvas. The moon was almost directly overhead, but not quite. I had to crane my neck slightly to have a full view of the gleaming crescent looming in the distance. I turned to see it, and at the same time he did too. We were suddenly inches apart, our noses so close they could almost brush against each other. I breathed in; he breathed out.

We looked at each other, not saying anything.

“You know, I think I like stargazing better than cloud-watching,” he finally said, breaking both the silence and the moment. “With clouds, you have to guess what they are, what they represent. The stars just tell you, with constellations. I like knowing. I don’t like guessing. Do you get that?”

I nodded, muttered a vague agreement. I knew too well about that. I had to guess every day about him, about us, about what all this was, if it meant the same thing to him as it did to me. We were clouds and I wanted to be stars.

We were still looking at each other, and I became intensely aware of my surroundings, noticing anything other than the way his breath smelled (spearmint), or how his faint freckles seemed to dance across his cheeks and nose, or how his eyelashes were so long they could practically touch his eyes (beautiful, hazy blue-gray color, and about the size of the moon in its phase a day before it’s full), or how his hair shifted when he moved, keeping to the beat of his motions. I didn’t notice any of that as we stared at each other, taking every moment breath by breath.

He talked a lot, I noticed that. In school, conversations were always fleeting “hi’s” between classes or big group situations. In a strange way, it was almost as if we barely knew each other. The weird thing about high school, it seemed, was that no one shared mundane things with others like their favorite food or school subject–everyone I met wanted to talk about their future, and what life meant to them, and how underclassmen put upperclassmen on pedestals they didn’t deserve to be on and whether or not a high school education really mattered in the long run, etc. I noticed that he loved to talk philosophically and passionately, and I didn’t stop him. I just never started that kind of conversation.

And then I turned away from him, ruining the moment. I didn’t mean to, but I shifted too fast and I couldn’t turn back to him again very well (that was too desperate). I was suddenly stuck again in the limbo of looking up at the sky while being so keenly aware that he was right next to me.

I didn’t know if he was looking at the sky or looking at me, and I didn’t know which one I’d prefer.

I began to trace out familiar constellations in my mind, moving my finger ever so slightly to help, brushing against the cold grass.

“I don’t like Juliet,” I said suddenly.

“What?”

“Of Romeo and Juliet fame. We just finished reading that in class, and I think she’s awful. I think that whole relationship is extremely toxic and doesn’t deserve to be romanticized. They literally meet each other and die for each other in the course of less than a week. Like, I get that they thought it was their only choice, I really do. But they could have easily eloped without having to use the fake death as a cover.”

He laughed. “Tell that to historians and teachers everywhere. I’m sure they’ll agree with you.” He swept his hands across the air. “Breaking news: the greatest love story ever told turns out to be the worst.”

I smiled. “I’m just saying, those kids shouldn’t be put on a pedestal. They’re just so freaking selfish.”

“I guess I agree. I mean, yeah, I’d say they’re the main reason everything went wrong. But everyone messed up in some way, didn’t they? Every character contributed to the disaster that were the results of Romeo and Juliet,” he said.

I sat up. “That’s exactly how I feel!” I laid back down. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

A short pause hung over us. I watched a bird hover over something in the grass, but I couldn’t see what it was. His hand lingered ever so slightly over mine (at least from my angle it looked like it was).

“Do you think when Shakespeare wrote it, he wanted to write a great love story or he wanted to show the readers and viewers what not to do? Like did he set out to write a cautionary tale of sorts and the message just got warped with time? I’d like to think that,” I said.

“I’d like to think that, too,” he finally said. “That’s smart.” I didn’t know if he was referring to Shakespeare or my little analysis.

I didn’t know many people with whom I could have this kind of conversation. I didn’t know any boys who would be willing to talk about stuff like this. All I knew right now was him, and that he made me feel like I knew everything.

Just then, I heard some voices in the distance, and some car engines, and I knew the night was coming to a close. We’d been out here the whole time — I don’t think I ever stepped foot inside. It wasn’t like I wanted to anyways. While not losing my focus on the sky, I suggested, “Maybe we should get up. It’s late, it looks like everyone’s leaving. I’m probably getting picked up in like ten minutes.”

I once read online somewhere that the ancient Greeks had different words for different forms of love. I don’t like to think that there is one good definition for love. That’s what the Greeks got right — there is no one form of love. What I think they got wrong was that not all love can fit neatly into their categories.

But lying on the grass next to him, just being with him, looking at him, talking with him seemed predestined, in a sense; I think if love could be explained like a series of chemical reactions, this was the catalyst. I wasn’t sure if I was in love with him, but I certainly felt like I loved him. But what did that really mean? Did all that even matter if he didn’t feel like that? To him, I could have just been another girl to talk to at another party.

“So let’s just stay out here for ten more minutes. I can wait with you.” He said and I smiled. It occurred to me then how contained we were, in our little world of high school parties and stargazing. We were kids in an adult world and I was suddenly scared of what that meant. “I want to wait with you,” he echoed. The bird I was watching earlier landed.

I decided that I didn’t care what would happen tomorrow, because all that mattered was what was happening right now. So I told him, “I’d like that very much,” and we watched the stars again.

Voice of Reason, Spirit of Adventure

I could hear the neighbors next door but I have never seen them. Each night, noises emanate from their house and pierce the silence. Rumbling, low chanting, sometimes shrieks. Makes it hard to get to sleep. Mom and Dad insisted that they didn’t hear anything, but I knew they did. How could they not have? Anyway, the past few days, it had been getting worse. The noises were longer, and louder, with more screaming and chanting. Not to mention how debilitating it was. Night after night, I couldn’t get to sleep until three o’clock in the morning, which gave me exactly three hours of sleep on which to function.

Frankly, I’d had enough.

I slipped out of the house quietly, knowing that if my parents knew what I was doing, they’d lock me in my room for sure. No parent wants their kid knocking on the door of a house that sounds like something out of a bad horror/sci-fi movie.

The plan was simple. I wouldn’t ask questions, wouldn’t judge or act suspicious, I’d just politely ask them to keep their noises to a minimum at night. Then I would walk away and pretend nothing had ever happened.

As I walked up the long dark driveway my heart started pounding. The blood rushed up to my face, and my footsteps echoed breaking the silence. I approached the huge oak door that had once been painted a dark green, but all signs of that were gone now. I reached, finger poised ready to push the button that would announce my arrival. Was I really going to do this?

A very skinny mostly black cat slunk out from behind the hedge. I froze, not sure if it would make some kind of horrible sound to alert its owners.

“Hi kitty,” I breathed. “Please don’t make a sound, please don’t make a sound.”

Suddenly the cat meowed louder than I have ever shouted in my life.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” I begged.

No sooner had the cat stopped when the noise started again. The chanting in the house stopped. I ran back down the driveway, heart pounding so incredibly hard I thought it would burst. I can do this, I told myself. If I were anybody else this would have been over fifteen minutes ago. I just have to walk back up the driveway, ring the doorbell and ask, simple as that.

I inhaled deeply, and balled my hands into fists to stop the shaking. Why the hell was I so afraid? I just needed to make a polite request.

I started back towards the house. The chanting began again, quieter now, and this time I didn’t even think — I just rang the doorbell.

Ding-dong, I heard it echo down the hall. The chanting died down immediately. After a moment, I heard footsteps, slowly making their way to the door.

It creaked open.

A woman, pale as a sheet with shadows under her eyes, stood before me. She had a plastered-on smile that was far more disturbing than comforting.

“What do you want?” she asked.

I steadied myself. “Ma’am, excuse me, but I was wondering if you could keep the noise to a minimum at night? It’s sometimes hard to sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And then she slammed the door right in my face.

“Can you beat that?” I said, as I recounted the story to my friend Camilla the next day. “She slammed it right in my face!”

I could tell Camilla was elsewhere. She’ll start looking at you, but not really looking at you, and that’s when you know she’s off in Camilla-land.

“I dunno, Si,” she said real slow. “You said you hear shrieks?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Why?”

“Well, what if they’re hurting someone? We have to help them, don’t we?”

I sighed. “You know we don’t have to help every person we come across, right?” I said.

She shook her head.

“How can I be happy if I know someone else is in pain? We have to investigate this.”

I sighed. “And I suppose I have no choice in this?”

“Of course not,” she said in her matter-of fact way. “I’ll sneak over to your house tonight. Make sure you’re awake and dressed.”

Of course I didn’t want to, but I stayed up anyway. Camilla is my best friend, after all. I discovered a lot of new ways to keep yourself awake late. I sent an email to my future self, counted all the flowers on my curtains (72), and got an awful lot of homework done. I was figuring out how to be most comfortable when lying on the floor when I heard a sharp rap at my window. I opened it, and standing there, holding a small pebble, was Camilla.

“Hurry!” she whisper-shouted. “Climb out your window!”

“What? No!” I whisper-shouted back.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t!”

Camilla looked at me with a combination of bewilderment and pity. “Well, get down here somehow.”

I tiptoed slowly out of my room, careful not to wake my Mom and Dad. Then I slowly padded down the stairs and out the door.

“Great,” said Camilla once I was standing next to her. “Now we just need to get in somehow.”

“Maybe they left the front door unlocked,” I suggested.

Camilla gave me a look. “Si, of course it’s locked. Who the hell leaves their doors unlocked?”

“I don’t know, these people are weird, remember?”

“They’re weird, not stupid.”

Even so, she tried the front door.

“Do you know how to pick locks?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she said.

“You do?” I was impressed. Picking locks was a cool skill.

“Well, I read a WikiHow article before sneaking out, so I should be good.” She took a hairpin out of her pocket and began to jiggle it around in the lock. After a few, very boring minutes, the door finally unlocked with a click. Camilla’s fist shot up into the air.

“Yes! I didn’t think it would actually work!” She grabbed a flashlight, and handed me her phone. “Be sure to film everything.”

“Why?”

“In case something happens.”

That was worrisome. “What? What could happen?”

“Shhh, be quiet. I don’t know.”

We crept through the darkened house. The chanting seemed so much louder now that we were closer to the source of it. It gave me chills down my spine, but I could almost make out words, not in any language I recognized, but much more ancient and sacred. An old memory came to me, from a book I had read long ago, and barely remembered. All the creatures on a distant planet were singing in a beautiful, ancient, sacred language that only one child could understand. For a second I wondered if they were creatures from a distant planet, but then I shook my head at the notion. That’s ridiculous.

“Down the stairs,” whispered Camilla.

We crept down slowly. Every step I took, the stairs creaked. I knew it was just my nerves, but it was still terrifying, and the chanting grew louder. When Camilla reached the bottom step, she opened her mouth in shock.

What? I mouthed.

She said nothing in return, just made a follow me sort of gesture. I climbed down after her.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.

An awful lot of women and some men too, were all standing in a circle, chanting the weird chant I’d been hearing. In the middle was some kind of object, glowing so brightly I couldn’t make it out.

“They’re chanting so loud they can’t hear us,” Camilla said.

“Well, it doesn’t look like they’re hurting anyone, can we go now?” I asked. “That glowy thing is giving me weird vibes.”

“No!” said Camilla. “We’ve come across a cult, with a mysterious glowy thing, and you just want to walk away?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I mean, these people are in a cult, we don’t know what that glowy thing is, and it’s our responsibility to document it!”

“No, it isn’t!”

“Yes, it is!” Now be quiet!” Camilla edged closer to them. With an eye roll, I followed her.

Suddenly, I tripped on an electrical cord and fell to the floor with a thud. Camilla made a noise, incomprehensible and profound, deep within her throat. The chanting stopped and all the people turned around.

The largest one, a tall, thin man with graying hair, approached us. “Why do you disturb our ceremony, boy?” He jabbed a finger at me. His voice felt like someone had slipped ice down my back.

“Well, actually,” I started to explain that I was not really a boy, nor a girl either, but Camilla shot me a look, as if to say, Now’s not the time.

“Well, The Master wouldn’t like this silly intrusion at all, would he?” He addressed the rest of the congregation. they shook their heads and muttered with disapproval. “But,” he said, “The Master is always willing to forgive those who offer.”

“Offer what?” I asked, but they ignored me.

The man said, “You must offer up yourself to The Master, that is the only way to be forgiven for your interruption of the most divine.” He made a motion, and two members of the congregation grabbed our arms.

“No!” I heard Camilla scream. “Fight me like a warrior, you god-forsaken coward!”

I kicked and screamed with her. However, our efforts were for naught. We were thrown into a dark closet. We heard the door lock with a click, and then the two brutes walked away. I swore loudly.

“We have to get out of here,” Camilla said.

“You can’t.” A new voice this time.

“Who are you?” I asked the new voice.

“I’m Anders,” he said. Then, a short, humorless laugh. “Though not for long. Soon I won’t be anything.”

“What do you mean?” Camilla pressed.

“They suck the life out of you, turn you into nothing but a husk. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen them.”

This guy’s delusional, I thought. Camilla crouched down beside him.

“Can you describe this phenomenon to me?”

“No, no, no, they suck it out of you, nothing but a husk, nothing but a husk.” The words that came out of his mouth were just pure chaos. “I don’t want it, get me out get me out no, no, no, no, no, no.”

“Listen, Anders, hi. I’m Camilla. That’s Si, and we’re going to get you out of here. But we need you to tell us what they do so we can get you out of here.”

“No, no, no,” he whimpered quietly.

“You have to.”

Something about the way he spoke reminded me of when Camilla and I were kids and she looked up the medieval ceremony to become a knight, and actually tried to perform it. We had a sleepover and we snuck out to a church, even though neither of us had ever been to church before, except for the Night Vigil. She made me bring a bucket of soapy water and she gave herself a sponge bath, to cleanse herself in preparation. (We were really little then, and neither of us cared very much about nudity.) The next day, she put on a white shirt and black pants and boots and my superhero cape from a few Halloweens before. We took her toy sword and shield and placed it on the altar, and, I kid you not, this girl knelt down and prayed for ten hours straight. Just like a real knight.

It was intense and I remember being really impressed with her self-control. Then, because we had no other knights and we didn’t know any priests, I had to give the sermon on the duties of a knight. I didn’t really know what the duties of a knight were. I tried to say something about the code of chivalry, but a lot of that didn’t really work, since she was a girl, so I made up my own code.

The code was to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves, and to help those in need, and to be honorable in your actions. I didn’t know what the last bit meant, but it felt right.

We also had to write our own vows, because those were gender-specific as well. And finally, I took her toy sword and I dubbed her Sir Camilla. After the ceremony there was supposed to be a huge festival and feast, but instead, we just sang the theme song to our favorite TV show and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

“We need to know what they’re doing in order to stop them,” Camilla told Anders. Her arm was slung loosely over his shoulder, as if to steady him.

“They — they strap your head to this machine,” he choked out, “And then they turn it on and it makes a humming noise and then you go stiff and then the humming stops and they take your head out and you fall forward, and your eyes, they’re completely vacant, no one’s there, no one’s at home, and it’s just…” He broke down into sobs.

I felt something stirring inside of me. I wanted to hold this kid, cradle him until his tears stopped, and protect him from everything. Shut up, I told myself. You barely know him. Your comforting probably wouldn’t do him any good.

“And,” he continued, “They take the glowy thing and they somehow connect it to the machine and then the glowy thing gets brighter and they chant and chant and chant about the damn Master and how he’s going to cleanse the world or some shit, and all that chanting, it hurts my head.”

“So, they’re using whatever they suck out of people.” Camilla stood and looked at me. “You stay here and protect him.”

“Camilla,” I protested. “You can’t possibly think that you can take them on your own. There’s more of them, and they’re bigger than you. You need me to fight with you.”

Her eyes narrowed. I knew she hated to admit that someone could beat her, but she dropped her arms to her side in submission.

“You’re right,” she said. She pulled a pocket knife out of her bag and gave it to him. “Are you in any condition to fight?”

He stood. “Probably not, but that doesn’t matter. I’ll do what I can.”

“Okay,” she said. Then, for the second time that night, she started to pick a lock.

Now, I’m generally not very good at fighting. While I have no problem hurting other people, I’m small and pretty easy to overpower with simple brute force. However, I have one redeeming quality: I can use anything as a weapon. Camilla knew this, so when the door clicked open, she let me go first, with Anders following me and her taking up the rear. I scouted out the area. Immediately my vision focused on an old workbench. Jackpot. There were hammers, screwdrivers, and lots of other easily weaponized things. I handed Camilla a hammer and grabbed a wrench for myself. Then, we silently crept into the main room.

The one good thing about the chanting was that it obscured our footsteps completely. We could get right behind them and they didn’t even know we were there. We had to act fast. This was our one shot. We had to make the best of it. I studied the glowy thing more closely, looking for a way to shut it down. It was connected by five electrical cords to what looked like five giant batteries.

“We need to unplug the cords from the batteries,” I whispered to Camilla and Anders.

“Got it,” Camilla whispered back.

“Cover me.”

They stood with their backs to mine and Camilla poised her hammer, ready to swing, as we slowly made our way over to the first battery. I counted down on my fingers, my hand prepared to pull the plug. Three. Two. One. I pulled the plug. A thousand screams came from inside the glowy thing, as it began to pulsate wildly. The whole congregation turned to us. There was one unanimous flash of panic on their faces, and then they dove at us like wild hounds. I swung blindly with my wrench, hitting someone in what I think was his back. We dashed to the next battery, and somehow unplugged it against the mass of writhing bodies trying to stop us. The screaming became louder.

“Si, slip out and unplug the batteries. Anders and I will hold them off.”

“Are you sure you can?” I asked.

“Yeah, now go!” shouted Anders.

I dove underneath someone’s leg and ran to the third battery, unplugging it with a single swipe of my hand.

“Si, hurry!” I heard Anders shout.

I scrambled to the fourth battery and was about to unplug it, when someone grabbed me from behind and hoisted me in the air. I kicked and yelled and flailed my arms. Suddenly, the arms grabbing me went stiff and I tumbled to the floor. I saw Camilla had hit him in the back with her hammer, and Anders was keeping his little crowd of attackers at bay with his knife. I unplugged the battery and staggered over to the last of the five and unplugged it for good. The last of the screams died out and together we dashed up the stairs and the whole world blurred into a dream as we ran away and outside.

We hit the cool night air like a wall and suddenly all my senses became clear again. Anders was looking around in amazement. He looked so happy. Camilla looked proud.

I was the only one who seemed at all concerned. “Guys, we need to get out of here. They’ll come after us.” Camilla snapped to attention.

“Right,” she said. “We really need to go.”

“Where?” I asked.

“Doesn’t matter, as long as we’re safe.”

We took off running. Already we could hear the congregation coming after us. My legs felt like they were moving through jello, like in those dreams where you’re being chased.

“Down here!”

We all ducked down a long street, that was usually full of people, but was eerily empty and strange in the moonlight.

“The library!”

Our library was a tall and imposing stone building, with lots and lots of windows. Camilla jimmied the lock open with her hairpin and all three of us tumbled inside. Anders slammed the door behind us. The lights flickered on and all of us collectively sighed with relief.

“Si, come help me push this bookshelf,” said Camilla. I obliged. Together, we heaved the bookshelf in front of the door. Then we collapsed next to Anders, who was already curled up on the floor. He looked a lot younger, and a lot more innocent. I felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier as I slid toward a dark and dreamless sleep.

The Madhouse

It was the summer of 1929 when I first found the house. I was roaming Central Park with my best friend, Cass. It was cold, and our breaths were white in the air. The hum of the factories was louder in the still snow. It was silent on the streets of New York City, like a ghost town. I took a step into the snow, testing it with my finger. I quickly jump-stepped back inside the little awning space of one of the stores.

“It’s cold!” I whisper-shrieked. Cass nudged me, a grin on her face.

“Be careful or you’ll end up like that fellow Miss Anne told us about!” she whispered back.

“Lost all his toes!” I whispered back loudly.

“His wife wouldn’t even let him in!” Cass giggled.

“She thought he was some thug!” I giggled, poking Cass in the stomach. She let out a shriek, and then she covered her mouth with her hands, staring at me wide-eyed. I stared back at her.

“Andy, what if we get caught!” she whispered back, so fast that she didn’t even make any white breath.

“C’mon, let’s go! Cook packed us food to eat at the tree!” I said, stepping into the snow, tucking a loose strand of my short golden blonde-ish hair behind my ear. I could see the fear in Cass’s dark blue eyes, but she stepped out reluctantly and followed me through the falling snow. I grabbed her hand and broke into a run, running up Central Park, our long skirts flying behind us as we dodged street vendors and horses, through people and through trees, the snow biting at us. But we kept running, because we could never, ever, do this in the school. Why, if they saw us, we would be skinned alive!

When we finally stopped, we were at the foot of our tree, the one that we loved, because of those low branches that were perfect for climbing, and the dark, soft, leaves that concealed us from prying eyes as we shared stories and ate snacks that the maids had packed us. I swung up the branch and climbed up to the perfect branch, with the prettiest view of the city, where no one could see us. Cass climbed up and sat next to me, swinging her legs to get rid of her jitters. I reached into my long, dark, brown coat and took out my metal lunch pail. I set it in between us and I took off the gloves that my mother had insisted I wear, to keep my hands delicate and pretty, perfect for anything that an upper-class girl would do. I much preferred to do things with calloused, worked, hands, which showed that I deserved my life, rather than delicate hands, because I couldn’t defend myself with delicacy.

I looked at Cass’s gloved hands, and I felt a wave of guilt pass through me. If I had watched her last winter, she wouldn’t have fallen and gotten that scar… I thought, hurriedly unlatching the cold metal as it fell open, leaving me to scramble and put my gloves back on in the hopes of warming up my hands. I reached in, taking out a small container with hot soup in it. I found two spoons. I handed one to Cass and we both leaned into the middle, eating the soup, savoring the taste of good chicken in the freezing cold. When we were done, I put it back in and took out a little wax paper-wrapped brownie. We both gasped in delight and I split it in half, remembering enough of my manners to give her the bigger half and keep my mouth closed while I chewed. I climbed down when we were done, and we looked up at the large building that was being built, and we could see it peeking through the trees.

“It’s the Empire State Building!” Cass whispered, because neither of us wanted to disturb the peace.

“Supposed to be the tallest in the world!” I whispered back, imitating Cass’s excited little sentences, that showed her naive-ness.

“Yeah.” she breathed. I looked at her.

“I hate to say it, but we should head back to my house.” I said. She nodded, her dark brown curls bouncing. I could tell she was in another place, probably thinking of her ugly scar, re-living the memory, as I had done many times. I squeezed her hand and she blinked out of it. We broke into a run, navigating the streets. However, the streets became unfamiliar. The buildings were still nice, but they weren’t mine, or Cass’s. Cass tugged on my hand.

“Andromeda, what’s that house? I don’t remember it.” she said, pointing to a brick house with peeling paint on the boards. It looked old, like someone just didn’t want it fixed any more than it had to be.

“I don’t know, but we should go home.” I said, looking for a street sign.

“Andromeda, let’s look inside.” she said, walking towards it. I found a street sign. Oh, a block away from my house!

“Cass, my house is a block away! Let’s just go home.” I said, but Cass was walking towards it. “Cass, let’s go home.” I said, more forcefully this time. She didn’t even blink. “CASS!” I yelled at her, shaking her shoulders. She just kept walking. “Cassidy Sage Levy, I do not appreciate your rudeness.” I glared at her. It was like she was in some type of trance. I stepped in front of her. She walked around me. “Fine. Ignore me.” I said, stomping off, but I couldn’t even get to the corner in my guilt. I stomped back, looking for her, but she wasn’t there. I felt panic sweep over me, and I remembered her walking to the house. I ran to the house, flinging open the door.

It was darker than anyone would think that a house could be, and as I stepped inside, I felt as if I was walking in literal nothingness. Then a candle was lit as if by magic in the pitch black, revealing a rusty old toy monkey, its eyes empty, as if scratched out. I heard a scream, which sounded like Cass.

“CASS!” I yelled, looking around frantically. A musical note struck my attention, and I turned to see the monkey, creaking as its mouth opened and closed, music sounding throughout the house.

Welcome to the Madhouse,

Welcome to the Madhouse,

We’re all mad here.

The monkey sang, the lyrics echoing. It continued as a light switched on in another corner, revealing a woman, her eyes gouged out, blood staining her innocent white dress.

This is Sarah,

She saw too much,

So now she’s here to see

so much

The woman smiled at the monkey and sat down in the pool of blood, beginning to trim her nails. Another light flicked on, this one revealing a man with a suit and a beard. He smiled at me, too, but I realized with a shock that in his hand was a bloody cleaver.

This is James,

He wanted to see,

What it was like

To live forever happily.

Now he knows that

Happy comes last,

First comes murder,

And happy is after that!

The monkey chanted, the mouth moving up and down in a haunting rhythm. I gaped at the ill-fated people before the light revealed another person, this one a young boy, a frown upon his face, but someone had carved a smile in his face with a knife, the blood still trickling down his face.

This is Levi,

He smiled too little,

So now he can smile until he’s brittle!

The monkey went on, and I couldn’t help but wonder if my fate was the same as theirs. Another light switched on, revealing a pretty girl about my age with dark brown curls and dark blue eyes. She smiled at me, and I realized that she was wearing the same clothes as Cass, and in fact, was that Cass?!

This is Cassidy,

Don’t you remember?

The time when she fell,

This time last winter?

“Oh, no, no, NO!” I screamed at her. “CASS!” I yelled, tears running down my face.

She doesn’t,

All she knows,

Is this little house,

And oh,

here she goes!

Cass took a step towards me, the smile still on her face. She looked so innocent, so…peaceful. She had a hand behind her back, and she reached out to me with her other gloved hand.

Andromeda, come,

it’s painless here.

No one makes fun

of me for my scar, here!

She sang, and another tear leaked out of my eye. Of course the house spoke to her. She was already deformed. It was calling out to her. “It’s fun! If you come, we can hang out all day, and Monkey promised brownies! There are bad times coming, Andromeda. We can stay here in endless fun!” she said, smiling innocently, as if it was the easiest, best, thing in the world.

“Cass, listen to me. Look at these people. We will die if we stay here. We have to go!” I said to her, my voice frantic. I grabbed her hand. She shook her head, clucking disapprovingly. She mimicked the monkey, and the next lyrics came on as a light switched on in the back.

This is your spot Andromeda,

What did you do?

You refused your gift Andromeda,

And that’s very rude.

And Andromeda,

Bad girls need to be punished.

She chanted. I looked at her, wide eyed, as the monkey chanted the final verse, the last verse I would ever hear.

Welcome to the madhouse,

Welcome to the madhouse,

We’re all mad here.

Ayla

“Mommy?” Ayla Brown stared up into her mother’s pale-blue eyes, her long golden hair tickling her forehead.

“Yes, honey?”

“Why can’t Daddy be here for my graduation?”

“Daddy is sleeping, honey.” Ayla’s mother, Lily, stood up from her crouched position and walked over to grab Ayla’s butterfly leotard.

“He can’t still be sleeping, he’s been sleeping for,” Ayla stuck her left hand up and slowly counted her fingers, “thirteen days.”

“He is very tired, honey.  He won’t wake up for a really long time.”

“Why can’t we see him?” Ayla stepped through the pink fabric, and her mother helped her through the sleeves.

“Because…” Her voice cracked as she tried to hide a sob.

“Don’t cry, I’m not as bad at dancing as you think.” Ayla smiled and twirled in her tutu and flapped her wings. Her mother started to laugh softly but inhaled sharply and let out a sob again.

“Are you ready to finish pre-school, Ayla?”

“Mmmhmm,” Ayla said as she skipped over to line up for her dance. She turned around to her mother and waved, smiling like she was about to be on “America’s Top Model,” her favorite ‘Mommy show,’ which she snuck into the living room at nine o’clock to watch.  

I love you, she mouthed to her mother through the other four year olds.

“I love you, too,” Ayla watched her mother say as she sneaked to her seat in the back of the small theatre.

Three months later, Ayla dragged herself up the Cameron Elementary School steps and into room 23. After months of waiting for her father to wake up, Ayla had given up hope that she would ever see him again. She had stopped watching “America’s Top Model” and playing with her best friend, Jamie.  Ayla spent hours a day staring into space, completely shutting out everyone but her mother. Ayla could tell she spent most nights crying. She tried to comfort her, but it seemed to make her mother cry harder. So Ayla spent most of her summer vacation alone in her room trying to stay put together.

Once Ayla reached the door, she turned around and kissed her mother goodbye, walked into the brightly colored room, and put on a smile.

 

“I wouldn’t punch someone who’s face is already so messed up!”

“Ayla!” her mother said in a strained whisper. “How could you?!”

“Look, Mr.Turner, I didn’t hurt anyone.” Ayla’s peacock colored braid flew around, as she tried to convince her principal that Jimmy Cammo had slipped and broken his nose, that it had not been punched by her.

“Ayla, we have witnesses who tell me that they saw you bullying Mr.Cammo during passing period today. As a junior, I expect you to be kind and considerate, and set an example for younger students. You are doing the opposite–not only harassing people, but breaking school rules, policies, and expectations.” He sighed and started again. “This is your sixteenth time to the principal’s office this year, and we are only three quarters of the way into first semester. Normally, we would have expelled you by now.”

Ayla saw her mother open her mouth and close it again.

“But we have decided to only suspend you from the campus for two weeks.” Mr.Turner looked down at his desk and picked up a large stack of papers and handed them to Ayla’s mother. Ayla noticed an odd expression sketched upon his face. He looked hurt, but there was something else there. It puzzled her.

“We will see you back on campus on April 24.” Mr. Turner wheeled his chair away from his desk, stood up, and walked out of his office.

“Ayla, sixteen times! I thought you had only been once!” Her mother frowned at her. Ayla avoided her mother’s gaze by pretending to see a bird out the window.

“There will be consequences.” Ayla dragged her feet as she walked to her mother’s blue Prius and slipped into the back seat to avoid the long lectures and cold glances. Halfway to her apartment, Ayla’s iPhone 4s burst into “Don’t Stop Believing.” She picked it up and whispered into the microphone, trying not to upset her mother.

“Hello?”

“Ayla, what the hell?” Jackie’s high voice echoed in her ear, forcing Ayla to drop her phone out of surprise.

“Shhhh,” she let out, picking it up from the black leather seat.

“Don’t shush me, you are in no position to shush me! Suspended! For two freaking weeks!”

“Shhhh, don’t worry, I can still go Sunday.”

“Turn that thing off.” Her mother’s voice was stiff and unforgiving. Ayla covered the mic on her phone and whispered, “But, Mom, it’s–”

“Turn it off.”

Ayla groaned and, as quickly as she could, was off the phone with Jackie. The car screeched to a stop at a red light. Lily’s gold-grey hair whipped around, and her dark brown eyes met her daughters.

“You will volunteer at Karl’s Ocean Orphanage every single day. No friends or boys until you complete four months of community service.”

“What!” Tears formed in Ayla’s eyes.

“Now you know what it feels like, to have people be cruel to you.”

“Life has been cruel to me, Mom. Ever since Dad died, nothing has gone my way!” Ayla could see tears welling up in her mother’s eyes, too.

“How could you be so cruel to people? Kids bullied you in Kindergarten. You know how it feels to be treated horribly! How could you, of all people, be a bully? I am disgusted with your behavior.” Her mother’s tears were gone and were replaced with anger flaring across her face.

“I–” Ayla choked.

“No, you can’t have an excuse, and if you do, it is probably horrible.”

Silence filled the car as it rolled into the driveway. Ayla grabbed her phone, slung her bag onto her back and ran up the stairs, holding back tears. She fumbled with her key as she fought the urge to start bawling. Don’t cry, don’t do it, don’t let them get to you. As soon as she opened the door, she rushed past her tiny kitchen and lurched into her room. Leila, her sixteen-year-old cat, lay sleeping on her floral sheets. Ayla dropped her bag on her tan carpet as she inhaled sharply. She sat down on her bed and stroked Leila’s white, smooth fur. No, don’t do it, she thought. It had been years since she had cried–years of holding back tears, pretending that everything was okay. But being yelled at by her mother, who had almost always been there for her, had pushed Ayla over the edge. The only other time Lily had yelled at her was in Kindergarten. Ayla had returned home with a nasty cut on her leg from being stabbed with a pencil by Larry Garten.

“Ayla what happened to you?” Her mother asked as she put down her magazine.

“Nothing,” she mumbled

“Honey, what is wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did someone hurt you?” She crouched down to be eye to eye with her daughter.

“No, Mom, I’m fine.” Ayla looked down avoiding her mother’s gaze.

“Honey.” Her mother placed her hand on Ayla’s back, right where Jack Orlando had hit her last week.

Ayla reacted quickly, her hands flying to her back in pain.

“Ouch!”

Ayla looked up. Her mother was holding her cheek, glaring back at her.

“What was that for? Go to your room! And don’t come out until dinner!” All of the kindness

drained from her face as she pointed her left index finger up the stairs.

As Ayla lay on her duvet, she realized that that was the last time she had cried. But not the last time she was hurt. She was bullied until second grade, but by third grade had taken manners into her own hands. Bullying others made her feel horrible about herself. She couldn’t avoid it, though; everything people said angered her. Ayla had no friends until Jackie and Ursula moved to her school. Once Ayla met them, she thought she could stop punching kids and giving people bloody noses, but it turned out they were just as mean as she was. The whole middle school lived in fear of their clique. Ursula was the best at making people feel horrible about themselves. She criticized people’s weight, race, clothing, everything. Jackie was small, had great grades, and was assumed to be a nice, innocent nerd, but she could make someone wish they could crawl under their bed and never come out. Jackie was the group’s rock, their leader. Ayla dreaded what they did at first. As she became more and more cruel, bullying slowly grew on her. But every once and a while, Ayla could feel her early years creep up on her. She quickly dismissed the thought of them, but she couldn’t keep her past from catching up to her anymore.

So she let it out, the years of pain, hurt and depression. She wailed for hours, clutching Leila and letting her lick the tears off her face. Ayla waited for her mother to come creeping through the door and into the kitchen to make their usual dinner, chicken and mashed potatoes, but heard nothing but the sound of her own thunderous sobs. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep.

 

Ayla woke up to the sound of her mother entering their apartment. She rolled over and stared at her clock. 7:12.

“Up.” Her mother came into her room and violently expelled the covers from her bed and walked out of the room.

“No,” Ayla grunted. She stayed lying there for five minutes, dreading getting out of bed. Suddenly, the contents of the day before came rushing back to her memory.

“Nooo,” Ayla whispered as she debated to stay in bed for another half hour, like normal, or to get up and face her mother again. She pulled up her covers, but quickly threw them back off and rolled out of bed. She tip-toed as fast as she could to the bathroom down the hall, trying to avoid meeting her mother. Ayla spent thirty minutes standing in the shower, letting the hot water run down her face, washing away cat saliva and dry tears.

“Come down, now!” Usually, her mother would let Ayla stay in the bathroom for as long as she wanted on weekends. She also normally would let her sleep in until exactly 10 AM. But not today. When Ayla got down the stairs, she could immediately tell that her mother hadn’t slept much last night. Her long golden hair was messed up and her shirt, which she had been wearing the day before, was wrinkled and out of place. She was standing by the microwave, waiting patiently for her oatmeal.

“Hello, Ayla,” she said coldly.

“Hi,” Ayla sat down at her seat and started picking at the tablecloth.

“You start volunteering today. At 9.” Ayla looked at the clock. 8:03. “We leave in twenty minutes.”

Ayla groaned.

“And if you misbehave,” her mother cautioned, glared at her, “you will not get your license this year.”

“What?!” Ayla screamed, temporarily forgetting that she was avoiding being yelled at. Her mother simply set down a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and sat down next to Ayla.

“I’m hoping that won’t be a problem at all, because there is no way you can possibly hurt orphans,” she answered.

Ayla felt as if her mother was coaxing her into another fit. As if she wanted her to punch her. But she wouldn’t dare, not when her freedom was on the line. And when the one thing in the world she couldn’t do was hurt her mother. Lily Brown was her only family. She had no grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, anyone other than her mother.

Ever since she was young, Ayla had put walls up around her heart, protecting it from anyone who could break it. The only person she let in was her mom, who had always been there for Ayla to cry with, talk to, and laugh with. But that morning Ayla slowly began to close her walls to her mom, too, expelling the only person she ever loved from her heart. Because with her heart open, even only to one person, she was breaking.

“Eat up.” Her mother’s words broke her from her trance.

“Sorry,” she mumbled as she stuffed a spoonful of soggy Cheerios into her mouth.

 

Two hours later Ayla stood waiting in the orphanage lobby. Her mother had signed papers, shaken the directory’s hand, and left. Ayla looked around through her wet hair. She was surrounded by colorful paintings of children holding hands and families playing together. Down the hall stood two large French doors leading into “the schoolroom.” On the other side was a smaller door labeled “girls’ dorms” and next to it was another labeled “boys’ dorms”.

“Hello, Miss Brown, welcome.” Ayla spun around hastily. Standing inches away from her and around a foot above her was a women. She had a brown bob surrounding her long thin face.

“This way.” Ayla followed her into a large schoolroom. There were floor-to-ceiling windows on both sides of the room, and sunlight shone onto the rainbow carpet in the middle of the room. In front stood a large chalkboard covered with multiplication problems. The ceiling stood forty feet above her, and strung from it were colorful cardboard butterflies and dragonflies.

“This is mainly where you will be working. The children will be down shortly to meet you. Good luck,” she said as she walked out of the room.

Good luck? What did that mean?

“Are you Ayla?” a voice behind her asked.

“Yes.” She turned around to find fifty eyes staring straight into hers.

“Hi.” Ayla glanced around at the orphans. There were around twenty-five of them, from ages three to twelve. Ayla nervously waved. She oddly felt like she was in kindergarten again, with people judging her and criticizing her every move.

“Hi,” the kids chirped.

“Okay.” The new woman turned to look at the herd of orphans again. “Introduce yourselves, guys.”

“Hi,” Ayla said nervously as she twirled her hair through her fingers.

“I am Adele.”

“Emily!”

“My name is John.”

Ayla was overwhelmed by the sudden amount of tiny voices.

“I…uh…need to go to the bathroom. Umm, where is it?”

“Over there.” A tiny girl who looked like Dora the Explorer pointed over to a door by the chalkboard. Ayla pushed a few children out of her way, completely ignoring the fact that she had pushed a boy into a desk, and ran to the bathroom. She swung open the door, rushed to the sink, and inhaled heavily.

Her mind flashed back to ten years ago. She was standing in front of the whole class giving her presentation on hummingbirds.

“Well, hummingbirds are very colorful. And…um they like to drink nectar. I chose to do hummingbirds because…I like birds and these are very pretty birds.” Ayla’s skirt was balled up in her fist. She was staring at the grey carpet, trying to focus on her speech and not on the staring faces. “And…ummm.”

“Why won’t she hurry up?” Lily whispered loudly to Jasmine. Ayla kept her eyes glued to the carpet, hoping the class wouldn’t notice the tears forming in her eyes.

“Ayla?” she heard her teacher ask. “Are you done?”

Ayla nodded her head, pretending she didn’t have another two minutes of information about her colorful bird. She hurried back to her assigned seat next to Nate and Jasmine.

 

“No!” Ayla said out loud, snapping herself out of her trance. She took a paper towel and wet it. After dabbing the wet towel on her face, Ayla opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. She closed the door silently, turning around to see the boy she had pushed unconscious on the floor.

 

The dark haired women she first met in the halls was standing over him, staring directly at Ayla. Many of the children were glancing up at her, too. The small boy’s sketchbooks and colored pencils were scattered on the floor, and a large golf ball size lump had formed above his right eye. His hand was still clutching a small piece of paper.

“Ayla, please follow me.”

Ayla stood frozen. This couldn’t happen. She couldn’t have hurt him. He must’ve fallen.

“Ayla, please.” The women walked over to the French doors and opened them, signaling for Ayla to go with her. Ayla could feel the orphans staring at her, waiting for her to make a move. Don’t do it. Don’t let them get to you! Ayla thought. She slowly dragged herself to the door and out into the hall. She followed the women into the front office. By the time Ayla had seated herself down on the small wooden stool in front of a cluttered desk, she had already figured out twenty ways her mom could punish her.

“Miss Brown.” A deep male voice echoed from behind the giant black chair facing away from Ayla. “I was informed that you pushed Mr. Carlton into a desk, and he is seriously injured.” Ayla sat in silence, too afraid to speak. “And you also rushed to go to the bathroom while the children were introducing themselves.”

“I…had to go,” Ayla timidly suggested.

“And, it says here,” a small hand emerged from behind the back of the chair holding a file with Ayla’s name written on it in crisp blue letters, “that you are disrespectful in class, rude to your teachers, and a bully.”

“I honestly do not know how you wiggled your way into our volunteering schedule,” the man remarked. Slowly, he turned his chair around to face her. Ayla’s jaw dropped. The man looked to be only around four feet tall. His large glasses took up half of his plump face, which was covered by a large, white beard. If it wasn’t for the black suit, Ayla would’ve thought that Santa was sitting in front of her. Her fear melted away and was replaced with the sudden desire to laugh.

“I do not think we can let you come back.” The man said. Ayla’s urge to laugh melted away.

“What? No!” Ayla pleaded.

“What is going on here?” Another voice joined their conversation from the doorway. Ayla winced. Not her mom, not now.

“I was just telling Ayla how she wouldn’t be allowed to work here anymore,” the man said in a matter-of-fact way.

“I got a call regarding Ayla pushing someone by accident, not being exiled from the orphanage,” her mother accused.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but any harm to our children is absolutely forbidden.”

Ayla sat, petrified.

“Can I talk with you alone, Mr. Simons?” her mother said.

Ayla stood up from the stool and rushed to the door. Once out in the hallway, Ayla sat down on a bench, trying to prepare herself for what would happen when her mother came through that door.

“Excuse me, you are sitting on my phone.” Ayla turned to see a tall teenager sitting across from her. He had short hazelnut hair and large glasses that Ayla tried her best not to make fun of.

“I am sorry, I didn’t even know you were sitting here. Wait–” Ayla studied his face again, “do I know you?”

“I doubt it. No one knows me. I transferred away from Cameron when I was just in Kindergarten.”

Ayla froze, remembering exactly where she had seen his dark brown eyes before…

 

Ayla was back in her Kindergarten classroom for the second time that day.

“Why is she sitting alone?”

“Do you want to ask her over?”

“No, she’s weird.”

Ayla felt as if someone had punched her in the gut. Why didn’t they want her to sit with them?

“She isn’t weird.” Ayla looked up from her hiding spot behind the teacher’s desk.

“Nate, you can’t sit with us at lunch.”

“Or recess.”

“Or school.”

Ayla watched as the three girls waved Nate away from their lunch desks. She put her face back into her knees and continued to cry.

 

Someone’s hand was waved violently in front of Ayla’s face.

“Oh.” She jumped. “Sorry.” Ayla shook her head, trying to get herself together.

“What was that all about? You were sitting there for thirty seconds staring at the wall,” Nate said with a worried expression.

“I was just…I just remembered something I had to do.” Ayla jumped up from her seat, worrying he would remember her. She wouldn’t let him see her as the little kid who got picked on in Kindergarten. She wouldn’t allow anyone to pity her, especially a weird nerd who was on the bottom of the food chain.

“Wait…Aria? No…Ally?”

“I got to go.” Ayla started walking swiftly away, heading for the nearest door.

“Ayla! I remember–” But the sound of his voice was cut off as Ayla slammed the door to the Girls’ Dorm.

It took Ayla a second to realize where she was. She took a deep breath in and sighed it out. Instantly, she thought of her mother, who always watched yoga videos on Sundays. Suddenly a small high-pitched voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Excuse me?”

Ayla turned away from the door to see a short, thin girl with a pink superhero cape strapped around her neck. Her curly blonde hair was tied into a bow on the top of her head. Ayla knelt down on her knees, as her mother did, and looked the girl straight in the eyes.

“Yes?”

“Why is your hair blue?” The girl stepped back, shying away from Ayla.

“It’s not blue, it’s–” Ayla caught herself. Be nice Ayla, be nice. “Sorry.”

“Why is it blue?” she asked again, more impatiently.

“Well–” she was interrupted by the door swinging open. The girl’s face paled and she sprinted away down the dimly lit hall, which Ayla guessed led to her bedroom. A small shadow emerged from behind the door.

“Miss Brown, please come with me.” The director calmly lead Ayla out of the door and into the office again where her mother was sitting on the small stool filing her fingernails. Ayla pretended not to notice she was there, but it was proving difficult with her mother’s you-are-going-to-pay-for-this glare.

“Please, sit,” the director said cautiously. Ayla was in the middle of debating if she should be super sincere and apologize, or if she should deny everything, when Mr.Simon dismissed the two of them.

“What?” Ayla was stupefied. Had she missed his speech? What was going on? Did she get to come back tomorrow?

“I said you can leave, Miss Brown, and you too, ma’am,” he explained as he sat down in his large black chair. He turned himself around to face the back of the room and disappeared. Ayla followed her mother around the ivy covered building and into the parking lot. As she snuck into the back seat, Ayla glanced up to take one more look at the orphanage windows, her last chance of freedom, and noticed a small face with a little blonde bow on top of her head staring straight back at her.

“Mom?”

“Yes…you will be going back to the orphanage tomorrow morning.”

“But–”

“I talked to Mr.Simon, and he told me that if you are seen harming anyone with words or force, you will never be allowed inside the orphanage again,” she remarked quickly and calmly.

The next week was hell. Ayla spent her mornings trying to avoid Nate, who apparently volunteered there, resisting her temptations to laugh at the one kid who looks like he ate fifteen hamburgers a day, and running into the nearest hiding place every time Mr. Simon came into the room.

On Sunday, Ayla checked in at ten o’clock sharp for a four-hour morning “play session,” which she had begged her mother to let her skip.

“Your assigned seat will have your name on it.” Assigned seat? What kind of play session is this? Ayla quickly strut down the hall, determined to get there before Nate, so she could make sure she wouldn’t end up his “play buddy” or something. The pushed the doors open quietly and crept up to the desks. She frantically searched for her name among the colored pencils and markers.

Ah ha, she whispered to herself. She fumbled with her pink name tag and looked down again pushing away her hair from her face. She saw a smaller blue name tag with Nate’s name on the desk next to hers.

“Hm hm,” Ayla whipped herself around, holding a blueberry colored pencil tightly in her hand.

“Whoa, it’s just me,” Nate said as he stepped back throwing his hands in the air.

Ayla groaned.

“What?” he asked.

“I just stubbed my foot. And I…uh. It hurt when I turned around.”

“You are horrible at lying.” Nate grinned as he pulled back his minute chair and pushed his glasses off his nose. “You know, you used to be that nice kid that always got picked on. Now you’re just a–” The French doors swung open revealing at least around eighty children. Ayla’s jaw dropped.

“I thought there were only twenty of them,” Ayla whispered to Nate, temporarily forgetting that she wasn’t supposed to talk to the “bottom feeders.”

“There is an afternoon class and a morning class,” Nate whispered back. He leaned closer to Ayla, who scooted her chair away awkwardly. She resumed to watching the enormous amount of children file into the playroom. One small boy was dressed up in a Harry Potter costume complete with a red crayon lightning scar on her forehead. Another little girl, who looked like a halloween enthusiast, was wearing a bright orange t-shirt and black leggings and green witch earrings. Ayla nearly turned to Nate to point out a huge kid who was wearing liquid guy-liner and a large mohawk on his apple sized head.

“Please find your assigned seats, everyone.” Mary Margaret pointed to the rows of desks and sat down at her own. Many of the children automatically rushed to their seats, grinning and pushing each other, struggling to get to their chairs.

“Hello.” The same small girl who confronted her in the girls’ dorm seated herself down in the chair next to Ayla.

“Hi,” Ayla smiled. Something about the little girl intrigued her.

“Why is your hair blue?”

“I thought it looked pretty,” Ayla tried.

“It is. You look like a peacock.” The little girl giggled and reached out to tug lightly on Ayla’s hair, who resisted her urge to pull away.

“What is your name?” Ayla asked, taking the girl’s hand.

“Sam.” She criss-crossed her legs and took her hand away to pull herself closer to the desk. “What is your favorite color?”

“Blue, what’s yours?” Ayla responded.

“Pink.” Sam grinned, displaying her pink wristbands and t-shirt. “Whenever there is a donation, I get there first and get all pink clothing.”

Ayla grinned.

“Okay, everyone! Now that you are seated and comfortable, we shall get down to business.” Mary Margaret’s face was filled with despair. “We have some bad news. We do not–” Her voice cracked as she stifled a sob. “We cannot get enough fundraising to fund our…our–” Mary Margaret sat down on a small blue chair, unable to finish her sentence.

Mr. Simons stood up to continue her speech. “All of you will be either moved to Arizona State orphanage or put into the foster system.”

Many of the younger children had started to weep, but the older ones, like Ayla, sat frozen in their chairs, unable to react.

“We are arranging to move in three weeks.” Mr. Simons paced back to Mary Margret and lead her out of the room.

Ayla felt a tiny hand grab her pinky finger and tug. Sam lightly laid her head on Ayla’s shoulder and gently sobbed. Ayla felt helpless. Her whole life–and a hundred kids–depended on this orphanage.

“Shut it, Kyle, it isn’t that bad. Foster care is where dogs go when they don’t have home, just like you.” A tall girl with dark brown hair and icy blue eyes mumbled to a boy, who looked to be only six years old.

“Hey!” Ayla yelled, accidentally causing Sam to jump and sit up abruptly. What are you doing, Ayla? Don’t defend the kid, he probably deserves what he is getting. she thought.

“Hey what?” the girl glanced over at Ayla with a bored expression on her face.

“Stop that,” Ayla stood up from her chair. She felt two hundred eyes land on her, making her uncomfortable.

“What?”

“That.”

“What?”

“Bullying.”

“Who are you to tell me to stop being mean? Telling Kyle to shut up is nothing compared to what you do.”

“Ayla is nice, Miley.” Sam’s usually sugary voice was rough and harsh.

“Shut up, Sam!” Miley pushed Kyle out of her way and strutted past the desks to Ayla. Suddenly, the doors to the playroom burst open, and Mr. Simons paraded in with Mary Margaret trailing behind.

“Unless we get 5,000 dollars in two days, we will pack our bags. Ayla and Nate, you may leave.”

 

“Mom!” Ayla burst through the door. She had plodded twenty blocks after waiting half an hour for her mother to pick her up. She glanced at the clock. 1. Ayla sat there, trying to shake the image of Sam being shipped away in a truck over the California border, crying. Finally, she gave up and began to walk home.

“Mom?” Ayla threw her purse onto the kitchen table and pulled out her phone. Just as she tapped the phone app, she heard a door upstairs close.

“Mom?” Gripping a baseball bat, Ayla snuck up the stairs. She pushed open her mother’s bedroom door open and glanced around the room, sitting on the bed sat her mother.

“Ayla?” she spun around to face her daughter.

“Why didn’t you answer me? Are you hurt?”

“Lily?” A deep familiar voice boomed from inside the bathroom. “Honey, who is there?”  Ayla’s eyes started to fill with tears. What was going on? Honey?

“Nothing.”

“I asked who was there.”

Ayla searched her memory for that voice. She knew this man, but how?

“Oh no one, I meant no one.” Lily signaled for Ayla to leave.

“But–” Ayla gasped.

“I will explain later,” she whispered, pushing Ayla to the door.

“But–”

“Out!” The door slammed in her face, leaving her alone in the hallway. She trudged to her room, grabbed Leila and flopped onto her bed. She felt stuck. Like her whole life was crumbling. Tomorrow she would have to go to school for the first time in two weeks. She would have to face her friends, who would probably make her feel horrible for even going within ten feet of the orphanage. Three sharp knocks interrupted her thoughts. Ayla sat up, unaware she had been crying.

Mr. Turner. Her principal. His was the voice inside her mother’s bathroom. He let Ayla come back after two weeks not because of Ayla, because of her mom.

“Honey, can I come in?”

“Is he gone?” Ayla mumbled.

“Yes.” Lily sat down next to Ayla and began petting Leila’s ears.

“Why can’t we just move?” Ayla looked up from her pink painted nails, her eyes filled with tears. She felt her mother’s arms embrace her.

“Because–” Her voice cracked and she let out a sob. “Because…I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Mom,” Ayla groaned. “I hate my friends, the orphanage is closing, everything reminds me of getting bullied in kindergarten, and Dad died here. Leaving nothing but a keychain and five thousand dollars.”

“I have some news.” Ayla watched a tear cascade down her mother’s cheek. Suddenly, something clicked in Ayla’s brain.

“Wait…five thousand dollars?” Ayla jumped off of her bed, throwing Leila off her lap. She charged down the stairs and rushed past Mr. Turner, who was sitting on her couch in a bathrobe, and bolted into the garage. Her hands trembled as she pushed cardboard boxes out of the way to a small cupboard. She pulled open a wooden drawer and reached for a small envelope. She quickly grabbed it and ran upstairs again. She grabbed her coat, shoved the envelope in her pocket, flipped off Mr. Turner, and ran into the night.

 

“Here.” Ayla gasped as she tripped into the orphanage lobby and threw the envelope on the front desk. The lady looked at her suspiciously and reached for the envelope slowly. Still looking at Ayla, she tore open the seal and reached inside. She quickly looked down, checking to see if what she felt was there. A stack of fifty Ben Franklins sat smiling at them on the desk. The lady jumped up, rushing to Mr. Simon office. Ayla ran to the bathroom, afraid she was going to vomit from running so far.

“Ayla?” a small girl in a pink onesie was standing there, holding a toothbrush and a teddy bear.

“Hi…Sam,” Ayla managed, gasping for breath.

“Ayla?” Her mother’s voice echoed from the lobby.

“She is in there, Miss.” Nate.

“Miss Brown?” Mr. Simons. Ayla groaned. She grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled her out of the bathroom, ready to face her punishment for giving away her college money. She was greeted by her mother, whose hair was messed up, her coat half on, a very disgruntled Mr. Turner, Mr. Simons, a pale-faced Nate, and the reception lady.

“Ayla, can I speak with you alone?” Mr. Simons asked.

“No, just get it over with,” her mother said sternly.

“I really shouldn’t–”

“Okay I will then. Ayla,” her mother looked at her, “you are not going back to school tomorrow. Instead, you will be going to a new school next year. I have already talked to Mr. Turner, who is fine with it.”

Mr. Turner grunted.

“My turn!” Mr. Simons said impatiently. “Ayla, thank you for your generous donation, but we cannot accept it, unless your mother approves.”

“I approve,” her mother declared.

“I guess I will see you tomorrow then.” Mr. Simons looked very uncomfortable as he and the receptionist walked back into his office.

Ayla looked down at Sam, who looked thoroughly confused.

“What?” she questioned.

“You don’t have to move.”

Sam’s face lit up. A grin wide enough to stretch around the whole room was etched upon her face. She jumped up and down, dropping her toothbrush and hugging her teddy bear.

Ayla turned around to her mother, who had let go of Mr. Turner’s hand. Ayla wrapped her arm around her mother.

“I love you,” Ayla whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Practice Makes Perfect

The dinner table was eerily silent. Nothing but the smacking of tongues against the roofs of mouths broke the spell. I sat in a furious haze, determine to keep my lips locked, as this was my vow. This continued for at least another minute — me staring down crossly at my lamb sausages, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Finally, my mother penetrated the silence with a hesitant, “So, Tilly, are you planning on practicing the piano this evening?” I didn’t like her tone. It was too high, too cheerful, implying that I wouldn’t fulfill the responsibility tonight, the responsibility that I had promised to take on ever since I had begged for private lessons.

It’s not that I particularly enjoy playing the piano. I just despise being behind in school. I play for my school’s orchestra, and until my parents hired a private tutor, I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the ensemble. My eyes would have brushed past measure 20, left and right hands struggling to match each other, when I would hear the first violins play a B flat, something I knew would not come up until at least measure 35. Slowly, the piano accompaniment would fade as my fingers ceased tapping the keys and my eyes read the music as quickly as they could to synchronize myself with everyone else. Maybe I would find the spot again; maybe I would not, and sit in a helpless daze for the rest of the piece. After struggling for months, I finally decided I needed professional help. As my skill level grew, I surpassed the rest of the orchestra in skill. It felt wonderful – such a relief, such an improvement from being behind. I discovered that I liked being the best, even craved it like a kind of drug. Soon, my talent exceeded middle school level and even some high school levels.

“Tilly? Can you answer me, please?”

I should have stayed silent, should have kept my shoulder icy, pretended they weren’t there. But that tone of voice Mom used! The inflection implying I was not doing enough! That I wasn’t dedicated to these piano lessons, that I was wasting their money with them. And then the the nag to reply even though they both knew that I was still burning — like a stubborn ember from a dying coal —  from earlier that day. I was doing the right thing by staying silent; I was keeping the peace, preventing anyone from becoming distressed further by my bad mood. Her tone struck me like a mallet in every nerve in my body, so that they exploded like fireworks, setting sirens off in my brain; sirens that I couldn’t ignore.

“Yes!” I yelled with as much venom I could muster. “Of course I am! I practice every day! I don’t need you to nag me at every second you get!”

“Hey!” my dad snapped, eyes narrow. “Don’t talk to your mother like that!”

“Well, she can’t talk to me like that!” My voice got higher and more whiney with each word I said. “I hate that tone of voice! I hate being nagged! I can manage my own life!”

“I wasn’t nagging you! I was just asking a ques-”

“Tilly, you are excused. Go to your room!” My dad stood up as he said this, as though I deserved a standing ovation for my temper. I pushed my chair back on the wooden floor, relishing the angry screech it made. I gave both parents one more malicious scowl and swiftly turned my back on them, showing that next time, I would certainly not be replying. I heard my mom sigh deeply as I stomped around the corner onto the staircase. I stopped when I heard voices, lurking in the shadows out of sight, but not out of hearing.

“What did I do this time?” she whined.

“Listen, Sabrina, it’s not your fault,” my dad said. “She was already on edge from when you were nagging her about cleaning her room. She had a similar reaction to that, remember?”

“But-”

“Hey! Don’t get me wrong! I’m on your side. You didn’t do anything wrong. She probably just has hormones or something.”

“Yeah, but why does she have to take it out on me?

“Don’t worry, honey, she’s just grumpy.”

I hissed in anger to myself. What right did they have to talk about me behind my back? After they exiled me to my room? And yet, as I stomped the rest of the way to my door, I felt torn by a feeling of melancholy, an inexplicable forlornness.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was crying. I was sobbing but nobody knew.

When I was practicing the piano, the anger that I had been feeling over the past few days and especially tonight at everything in the world was turned into pure sadness that poured out of my eyes as I hit the high D in Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, the challenging and complex piece I was mastering for my private recital. When I’m playing the piano, my hands glide in auto-pilot and I am left alone with my thoughts, even more so than in bed before I doze off. My mind wanders to wherever it decides. It wanders across the school day, around the homework, and right to the dinner table. The anger had turned against me and whipped me with its wrath. I took the beating in my mind as my fingers danced over white and black, black and white. Why are you always so angry at everything and always in a bad mood? Why do you lash out at anyone and everyone who tries to help me? You’re such a snob. Such an ugly person. Such a waste of space. I chastised myself over and over and let the words sink in. The notes in the air crescendoed from piano to fortissimo as did my weeping. The piano blocked out the crying and I was thankful for that.

My subconscious, though, was urging me to cry just a little louder, just enough to attract attention, hugs, and comfort. I didn’t, but still wished that someone would come in and discover the wetness of my cheeks, the swollen blotchiness of my eyes. Maybe Dad would like to hear me play, hear me improve. Maybe Mom had a sixth sense and it was tingling, alerting her to her daughter’s distress. But Dad didn’t want to listen to me. And Mom’s sensors didn’t work.

The notes rolled off of the piano as my tears rolled off of my cheeks. I didn’t know that the Sonata could sound so forlorn, like such an empty, isolated trill. As soon as I tapped the final chord in the piece I yanked the bench away from the instrument and ran up the spiraling staircase to my bedroom, last note still ringing in the air.

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I shut the door behind me as loudly as I could without making it obvious that something was wrong. I was still hoping that someone would come to comfort me and hold me, whisper in my ear that I’m okay, I’m fine, It’ll all be alright. I wanted someone to come to me, pat me on the back, but I could not bear to go to them. No one came to me. I was alone, sobbing, burying my face into my pillow.

It’s my fault. I’m disgusting. I’m awful. I’m awful to myself, awful to my friends. I’m terrible to those who love me, ungrateful. I deserve my wrath. I am afraid. I am terrified of tomorrow, of the future. If I waste my time sobbing here like a lunatic, where will that leave me? I need to do better, I must be the best. I’m frightened at the thought of not being perfect – that my faults and troubles will throw me homeless on the streets when I’m older.

It was a while ago. I was maybe six or seven, but I was in bed, cuddling with Mom.

“I’m going to miss this, when you’re older, Tilly,” she said, face buried in my hair.

“Why?” I asked, confused.

“Well,” she said. “A lot of times, teenagers grow out of cuddles and they don’t want to hang out with their mothers anymore.” I was staring at the wall, back pressed against her stomach, nestled in like a caterpillar’s chrysalis. I smiled and snuggled in deeper. A strand of golden hair fell on my nose, and I blew it off so it flapped just above my forehead before falling over my eyes again.

“Don’t worry, Mommy, I’ll always be your cuddle bear!”

I could feel her mouth curve into a small smile on my smooth hair. She kissed the top of my head. “Promise?” she asked.

“Promise!”

And yet here I am, seven years later. The promise had been broken long ago. So many times, she knocked playfully on my door only to find my nose in a book, completely disinterested in her. Her predictions had come true. I was just another teenage snob, moody and disagreeable. I’m always finding one reason or another to turn crimson with fury. She nagged me here; I didn’t like his tone there; I really hate having Mexican food for dinner; the list was never ending. And there’s nothing that I can do to stop it. I am possessed by a furious demon that plows through everything in its path.

I lifted my head from the pillow and saw that it was soaked with tears and snot. Sniffling, I ambled to the mirror over my bathroom sink and silently observed my battle scars. Puffy eyes. Footsteps of tears that had run down the path on my cheek. Hairline sticky from being shoved in the pillow. I wished someone would come. I wished it with all of my heart and being. Someone, please, open the door and come find me. But I was alone. And no one came.

Slowly, I stumbled back to my bed and threw myself prostrate onto the mattress. I opened my mouth and moaned out a final cry for help. And then I waited, staring at the dull white plaster on the ceiling, tracing familiar cracks and ridges with bloated eyes. The thin spiderweb of imperfections danced in my sight as more water prepared to descend from my eyelids. Shutting them, I felt them fall, leaving a thin trail behind them, a memory.

I must have fallen asleep like that — with the lights still blazing over me — because I woke up to the creak of my doorknob turning. Drowsily, I rolled my head on its side to check the clock. Ten o’clock. I had slept for three hours and nobody thought to check on me. Darkness from the hallway poured onto my pale yellow rug like a coffee stain. The light from my room illuminated my mother’s face.

“Tilly, it’s getting late. You should go to bed.” I moaned softly.

“Tilly? Can you answer me, please?” I moaned again, louder. The door opened all of the way and she stepped inside, seeing me completely for the first time.

“Tilly! Are you okay?” Why is she so nice to me when I’m so rotten to her? Tears began to stir in my eyes again. I held out my arms to her. She came to take my hands and then lay them down on the comforter. I felt the bed duck under the newly added weight as she slipped under the covers behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“Tilly, what’s the matter?” I was crying again. Big, sloppy, wet tears falling down my cheeks. I buried my face into the pillow and savored the feeling of her embrace.

“I’m sorry that I’m not your cuddle-bear anymore, Mom.”

I could feel her mouth curve into a small smile on my smooth hair. She kissed the top of my head.

“You’re still my cuddle bear, Tilly. You’ll always be my cuddle bear.”

The Martians are Coming, The Martians are Coming

Hey, my name is #45. Yes, I am the 45th person that was ever born. Our species lives for a very long time but we are not very social and we don’t form friends that often. We are called the #’s. Today is a very special day. We are invading Earth. It’s going to be a lot of fun. Since I am super smart, I just recently developed a new type of explosive which can blow up the Earth in 3 hits. It’s awesome! I recently just tested it on Mercury. It only took one hit. All those Earthians are gonna have to surrender soon, if they value their planet.

The funny thing is that Earthians don’t know we exist. They think Mars is a small red rock with nothing on it. In fact, that is partially true. Mars used to be uncolonized but then our species invaded it. And now we live there. See, explosive + fuse = boom = win. Or that’s what we think. Our species has over 1,000,000,000 planets to its name. We love invading people. That’s our natural instinct. I wonder how many planets Earth has invaded.

Wow, when is the ceremony gonna start! I’ve been waiting 56,798,134 seconds. This is almost two years in Earth days, but it is only five martian hours.

Ah yes, finally the moment has come. The ceremony. This ceremony is fairly simple. We don’t use nearly as many explosives as we use for the other events. This is awful for the common martian because we get paid to buy explosives. But anyway, here we go. We start by dancing around the fire while throwing in little hand grenades, next we play a game of tag. Who ever the explosives blows up is out. Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt, and besides, you get brought back to life. It is actually very enjoyable. I blew up 3 times during the invasion of Mercury. After we throw little hand grenades, we get martian c4 and throw it in the air for the black hole to suck up. Next, we all get in a cannon and rocket to the Earth and back. This is what humans call the aurora borealis. Now for the final step: We have an eating contest. Whoever eats the most rockets without blowing up wins! I have won three times in my entire career.

Oh! Have I mentioned roast e…the best food, here on mars. It is a delicacy. It tastes like steak. It is my favorite food, and my pet c4’s food, and my rocket launcher’s food. Everyone loves it. Soon I will have to start construction on the mega rocket launcher that will launch the new explosive. The only thing I will eat is roast dynamite because it is very healthy, gives you energy and tastes good. It is much better than, say, a martian carrot, which is basically fireworks growing on the ground.

Finally, construction time! The construction building is made up of all types of explosives but it is mostly made up of something called cement explosive. This is cement mixed with explosive powder since cement and explosives are very easy to obtain. It has very safe working conditions as you are around explosives all the time. The mega rocket launcher that I am making is going to be made of crushed explosive rockets. It has a safety switch, too. When you press it, it coats the rocket launcher in gasoline and ignites it. Usually you blow up, and that’s why we have a blow-up proof suit which is made out liquid  blackpowder. Something that us, Martians invented, but the Earthians stole it in a powdered form. If you would like to know about this blow-up proof suit you can check the Martian Wiki. It is very reliable… Or is it? … I can just tell you now. The blow up proof suit starts with a shell made out of hardened c4. We drop the c4 in water and then dry it off in a mold made out of dynamite. Sometimes it is very hard to remove the suit from the mold, because it has a very high chance of blowing up. If all works to plan, then we can start chiseling the inside of the c4 so now it is hollow and is a shell. Next we pour in liquid black powder to make the suit more flexible and so we can have a strong inside.

Once we are done with a suit, we put it through a stress test. We make sure that it blows up in even the highest humidity. Oh, did I mention our atmosphere? The martian atmosphere is very dry which makes everything flammable. Which is super duper amazingly good.

Okay, now back to work on the missile. For the inside of the missile i’m going to use martian potato. This is a highly explosive vegetable that we all love. Too bad it’s going to waste.

Back to the missile…

Around the crushed potato, we have a mysterious paste. One drop of it blew up Mercury, so now we are going to use fifteen drops mixed with gasoline. Also, you aren’t supposed to know this but when I launch the missile I am going to dump a bucket of mysterious paste on it. So when Earth blows up, lots of mysterious paste will fly to the Sun and the Sun will cough and cough. When it’s done coughing, it will sneeze and all the planets will be sent away except for ours. The only reason we don’t fly away is because of martian physics. You see, every planet has their own physics which the people come up with. So for our planet’s physics, we made it so nothing bad will ever happen. Many people thought that this was unfair to other planets, and there were many riots and rebellions with explosive watermelons and carrots. Funny thing is, all of these fruits were stolen from the planets that were the cause of the rioting!

Here are how the riots go:

Someone walks up to a police officer and says “You better watch out, because a riot is starting in ten seconds.”

Police martian: “Oh really?”

Person: “I’m not kidding.”

Ten seconds later…

Police officer: “AH, explosive flying carrots and watermelons everywhere!”

Riot people: “We don’t care.”

Police officer: “Hey, stop that…”

Riot people:” Why?”

Police officer: “Because we are going to invade earth and you are wasting explosives, those could have gone toward the building of the the missile.”

Well, at least, the missile is going well. I have finished the outer coating. It is made of pure gasoline mixed with black powder, and fireworks too. The missile is built just like a firework. We are going to put in sparklers, too.

A few hundred years pass…

Well, now everything is assembled. The missile is ready and we are ready to launch. I think I’m going to take a good few years rest now. I have to start working on it again in 87 years so I better start sleeping.

Dream…

Hmm… What if we use a black hole instead? We could first blow up the Earth, and then we could suck their planet into a black hole. The people may like that better. Hmm… I wonder.

Ah, that was a terrible three years rest and dream, I did not sleep well at all and I did not get a good night’s sleep. Wai wai wait waaa… I am talking in that stupid Earth talk again. Martians never get tired, I shouldn’t even be sleeping. Come on. I should be working.

“#45! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING? MARTIANS DON’T SLEEP.  YOU ARE FIRED!” said the boss.

“But why? I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“YOU WERE SLEEPING ON DUTY. MARTIANS DON’T SLEEP!

“Sorry, I was bored and wanted to see what an Earthling does when it’s bored.”

“WELL, YOU ARE FIRED!”

“Ok, I’m going to Earth. BYE!”

“FINE, sta- go, go, yeah, I meant go.”

  1. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2. . .1. . .blast off!

Green Eyes and Gasoline

“I missed you.” Her words are soft around the edges, floating just between our two faces.

“Right.” My words are quiet and jagged, disbelief slicing through the middle.

“No, really.”

“But we haven’t seen each other since…” My words are cut off by my judgement. My eyes search the floor.

“Since?” she asks. Her right foot inches towards me.

“Well…”

There are no more words, no soft jagged edges, no floating waves between us. There is nothing. I know we’re both thinking about the same thing. Maybe she’s even trying to search for the words to continue the conversation. But I stay silent. I can’t even look up from the dusty floor.

My hands tingle. I flex my fingers, hiding them deep in my pockets. I think they were tingling that day, too. The last time I saw her.

But maybe it was from the cold that time. And it was so, so cold. I felt the frost biting into my shoulders. I want to ask her if she remembers how cold it was. If she remembers how you could see your breath when you spoke, how there was an angry crunch when you stepped forward.I always want to know what she remembers, if she remembers the tiny details like I do.

I heard in class once that after a traumatic experience, our brains can block moments out, trying to save us from our own memories. Maybe that happened to her. I wish that had happened to me.

Our crunching steps had been in unison that night. As if we were one. That day her head was down, buried beneath a plaid scarf. Her hair was shorter then. And I thought her eyes had been greener, but maybe that was just the illusion that the street lamps cast as they flickered and we crunched onward. Maybe they just got greener with every moment that I spent thinking of that night, biting my cheek until I felt the blood break through.

I wonder if she thinks about it. My eyes creep up, and catch on hers. She must. You can’t forget a thing like that. In her eyes, her not-as-green eyes, I can almost see the story, as if watching it on TV. I can almost see us creeping through the quiet streets, our feet crunching in unison, our breaths painting foggy pictures under the lamps. I can almost hear our breaths shortening as we got closer and closer to the little house, just outside of our little town.

We were antsy, our eyes jumping from each other to the road ahead of us. We couldn’t wait for the rush to take over us. To make us forget about school and arguments and secrets. The rush always did that. It washed away what we thought was pain, and left room for just seconds of glee.

That night was different. I don’t know how I didn’t recognize it as we marched to the little house. She wasn’t carrying her usual bag, filled with the usual necessities: spray paint, screw-drivers and wire-cutters. The bag was bulkier, banging against her leg as we walked.

And she wasn’t talking. She wasn’t venting, ranting about the drama that she always watched and felt. As if we were friends.

And we weren’t friends. When we saw each other in the halls, my head went down and she kept chatting to her friends. Maybe that’s why she chose me from the beginning. Because I could never- would never- talk about it in school, drag this part of her into the crowded halls where the other fragment took over.

She always liked her boundaries. This part of her life was always separate from the day-time part. I never tried to muddy the line or test the waters. I didn’t want her to move on to someone new, someone else that could spray paint billboards and jump fences with her.

Yes, I see it now. That that night was going to be different. There was something different in those green, green eyes as we pushed through the cold. It was going to be different forever.

Soon we would reach the house, just outside our town. She stopped short, our stomps no longer in unison. I turned on my heel, searching in her gaze, searching for our mission.

I saw fire.

There were flames dancing in her green green eyes. And there was hurt in her soft smirk. She handed me one of the bags, the gasoline can sliding across the cloth. I didn’t dare look up at her. I didn’t dare tell her no, tell her that it was too serious. Arson wasn’t a game.

She took out the matches first, laid them on the ground, out of the way. With a quick, decisive motion, she pulled off the top of the gasoline can. She turned to me, and started pouring on the dirt leading to the little house. I followed suit, tilting the red can ever so slightly, watching the clear liquid fall onto the shabby siding of the shack.

And then we were done. I stepped back to her. She still hadn’t spoken. I expected – wished – that she would back out. I wished she would kick away the matches, and put her arm around my shoulders as we walked away.

She grabbed the box, pulled the match against the flint. The match fell softly, like her words did just now. She lit another.

And another.

Her wrist flicked with aggression, the matches lighting up quietly. I only watched. I bit my lip, and watched as the flames grew, reaching towards the sky. It started spreading. The flames grew and reached toward our town, our trees.

None of it seemed real.

She picked up the bags and ran. I thought I heard a giggle over the crackle of the fire. And we ran. By the time we reached my house, I was gasping for air, the smoke still caught in my lungs.

She shook her head at me, winked her green green eyes, and left.

When the alarms prodded at my sleep, I told myself that they didn’t have to do with last night’s gasoline.

I could still smell the gas on my fingers.

When I heard the whispers about the girl that was in the hospital, I told myself it could have been anything.

I can still taste the tears from when I went to the funeral, watching from the back of the procession.When I close my eyes now, I still see the rainbow of gasoline on pavement. I can taste all the words–all the questions–I want to say to her now.

“Well…” she says, her words cutting through my memory.

When the bell rings, telling me to push myself on to my next class,  it almost seems like the sirens sounding through the night. I try not to think about her green eyes or gasoline as I put my head down and walk to class.

Bubble Tea

Mina heaved a huge sigh when the last bell rang. Quickly grabbing her flea-market bag, she dashed out of the semi-humid classroom, checking her worn-out watch along the way.

I’m going to be late again, she mentally noted, looking up at the crowded corridor. In her hurry, she almost bumped into one of the many girls oblivious to anyone besides herself. Brown curls reeking of hairspray brushed against her lips, and she made a face when the nasty poisonous smell crept up her nostrils.

“Excuse me,” Mina muttered halfheartedly, roughly pushing the girl aside. She didn’t have any time to lose. Her part-time job was starting in five minutes, and she still had a long walk ahead. Well, if she could get to the job anyways.  She had been at least ten minutes late to her job everyday for the past month ever since school had started, she had been warned by her plum-faced boss, whom she partly wanted to slap as hard as she could. But money was money and it was what she really needed.

The girl that she bumped into abruptly turned around, with the expression only a rich, spoiled brat from the oh-so-prestigious school could have. However, her face fell when she saw Mina, her confidence dropping at the same rate.

“Ugh, it’s her,” the girl mumbled, seemingly looking down on her because of the fact that Mina wasn’t well off like her. But, she didn’t dare to say anything else, since Mina’s reputation had always been bad. She had been labeled the ‘poor ice princess,’ as well as ‘commoner’ or ‘scholarship student’.

Either the girl had been afraid of Mina’s cold glare, or afraid of some kind of virus going over to her if she stayed in Mina’s radius for longer than five seconds. At least, it seemed so. Mina honestly didn’t care though, as she had other things to worry about besides the bad attitudes that some students of the school had towards her. It wasn’t like she had a better attitude towards them anyways.

Raising her eyebrow, she gave the girl an uninterested look before brushing past her. She certainly didn’t have any time to waste, especially not on a brat. Just as she walked past her, someone else had bumped into her from the side. Oh, how she despised these corridors. Annoyed, she glanced to the side, looking back at the boy who seemed irritated that she was the one whom he had to bump into.

Taking in a deep breath, she narrowed her eyes and dashed forward, ignoring the incredulous expressions of the spoiled teens around her. Just before reaching the exit, she noticed that a large crowd had formed outside, as the squeals of fangirls vibrated the steps of the staircase she had been walking down. Stopping midway, she tried to look for a visible gap between the ocean of people. While using her somewhat eye strength, she noticed that these girls were surrounding a few guys.

Mina frowned, and the distance from the corners of her mouth to her ears seemed to be a mile away. They had been named the ‘Kings’ of the school, or whatnot, because of their wealth and looks; well, if they even had the looks anyways. To be honest, she didn’t know much about the school’s students because she had been too preoccupied by attending class, making perfect marks, and so forth, since she couldn’t afford any mistakes or bad grades being the scholarship student that she was. And outside of school, she tried to not socialize with the rich children of the school as much as she could. In fact, she didn’t have the time to, since she was busy with the numerous part time jobs she had worked in order to support her single parent family.

She admitted, Life sucks. However, she couldn’t just wallow up in a self-pity party, as that wouldn’t get herself, nor her family anywhere. It was her body that needs to get to somewhere. That is, to her part time job that she was nearly three minutes late to already.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she practically slid down the rest of the stairs, only to realize that she had to make a gap herself. Muttering some annoyed “Move” and some “Get out of my way” remarks, she pushed away all the girls from her path, as she was much stronger than the feeble-looking girl she seemed to be.

Having pure white skin, dark chocolate doe eyes with her naturally rare dark brown hair, she seemed to be a human doll walking around. However, her personality was pretty much the main reason why people despised, as well as feared her.

Arching an eyebrow, she almost sighed in relief when she saw the welcoming sight of some space on the ground, causing her to look up. However, her eyes had met a pair of cold, apathetic eyes, framed by a pale face. It was a boy.

One of the Kings, Mina scowled, Or whatever they are called in this place.

Narrowing her eyes at the boy, she walked past him swiftly. She squinted her eyes, trying to find a way out of the crowd, for she had somewhat ended at the center of it. “Wow, did you just see that?” “She looked at Joon in such a nasty way!” “How dare she?!” A few of the girls in the crowd gasped in shock. Mina didn’t hear it. Sighing, she quickened her pace, finally exiting the mob. Glancing at her watch once again, she cursed silently. Thanks to the lunatic-filled crowd, she was almost at the point of being too late for her part-time job. Nearly in a running tempo, she made a small mental note to use the backdoor next time she left the school during that time.

Mina took in a deep breath, hints of mixed emotions painted on her face. Maybe he won’t notice me…Biting her lip, she dusted her school uniform, and tip-toed into the restaurant.

“Hello, how many people-MINA KIM.”

Mina carefully looked up at her now, red faced boss, as she managed to muster a fake smile on her porcelain face.

“I’m so sorry, boss. The students in the hallway-”

“You’re fired, Mina. I’m very sorry, but I honestly cannot tolerate the tardiness you showed today.”

“But-”

“I’m very sorry. I wish you luck in the future.”

Mina stared back, dumbfounded. Gritting her teeth, she threw her small name card at the floor, swiftly walking out without turning back. Shaking her head in frustration, she glanced at the time. It’s 3:00 already, and I must find another job, before Mother finds out. I cannot allow her to get another job. You can do it, Mina. You can do it.

Puffing up her cheeks, she began to walk, each step faster than the one before. Mina entered every store in sight, only to come out with disappointment. She couldn’t give up yet. She couldn’t.

As the bright sun began to set, Mina sat down on a nearby green park bench she had discovered along her path. A tiny sweat bead rolled down the edge of her dark-circled eyes, dropping down to the center of her pink rosy cheeks. She wiped it away, her vision beginning to blur.

“I should get a drink,” Mina muttered, stumbling when she stood. Her blistered feet began to move once again, her now-worn-out shoes trudging against the concrete floor.

Eyes wandering, her mouth finally twitched in relief, after discovering a sign that read, ‘Bubble Tea?’ posted on the surface of a brick-walled building. Mina hesitated, knowing the fact that she shouldn’t waste five dollars for a drink. However, her hidden teenage-girl side appeared, and she opened the door to the store.

Mina’s mouth dropped a little bit in awe, as she looked around the shop. Decorated with cream white walls with matching teal accessories, it seemed a bit like the dream room she had wanted when she was little.

“Hello Miss, what would you like to order?”

Mina jumped in surprise, her awkward expression masking her facial features. Oh, how she hated to be startled.

“One strawberry bubble tea, please.”

The male worker in front of her nodded his head, before leaving to the kitchen.

Walking to a table, she bit her lip, before her eyes widened. An idea had popped into her head, as she rubbed her arm against her back.

“Here you are, Miss. That would be five dollars and twenty-five cents.”

Mina looked up at him, handing her money into the waiting hand.

“Um, excuse me, Mister?”

The male raised an eyebrow, as Mina took it as a sign to continue.

“By any chance, do you need any more workers here?”

He turned around and walked away from her. Mina looked at him, confused, watching his retreating figure disappear through the “Employees Only” door.

After waiting for a few minutes, her face filled with disappointment. It was impossible to find a new job that quick, right? Sighing, she took a sip from her drink, walking quietly from the countertop.

“Wait, Miss!”

An object was thrown over her right shoulder.

“I hope to see you tomorrow, miss. My name is Minho, by the way, and I hope to have a great work experience with you.”

Mina took the object off of her shoulder. It appeared to be a brown, apron-like uniform, with a blank white name card attached to the cloth. Her mouth twitched, as she began to walk. Before she reached the door, she said slowly, “Mina. My name is Mina. Thanks.” And with those final few words, she left and was taken into the arms of the cool, autumn night, a rare, radiant smile glowing brighter than the stars splattered across the black, velvet sky.

Cows

What more abuse is there to come?

Over 99 percent of farm animals in America, such as chickens, cows, and hogs, are raised in factory farms:  large, industrial operations that raise large numbers of animals for food. Cow transport and slaughter is especially cruel. Cattle who survive feedlots, dairy sheds, and veal farms face an excruciating trip to the final step of cattle slaughter in the U.S – the slaughterhouse.

My name’s Harold. I’m a calf (a young cow). When I was created into this world I had a mother, but the second I was born, she was taken away from me along with my other siblings. God knows where they are now. Possibly dead.

Just yesterday, I arrived here at the slaughterhouse. The trip here itself was nerve-wrackingly uncomfortable. It’s the middle of winter and it was so cold that I was frozen to the side of the truck. I was jammed in the back with about forty other cows. When we finally arrived here (the trip was ten hours long), I was pried off the walls of the truck with a crowbar by the petrifying humans who carry long electrifying sticks. It was hellish. Because I was hesitant to leave the truck, they stuck those darn sticks right up my rectum and in my face. I was terrified – in complete shock, I would say – after the long, cold truck ride. I couldn’t even leave where I was.

“If ya keep standin’ there they’ll keep on shocking you,” whispered a cow next to me.

“Yeah… okay,” I whispered back, scared to death of what they had warned.

“You’re lucky you even survived that truck ride. A lot of cows don’t,” said the cow. I stood there, in even more shock.

Coming into this world knowing I’m going to be slaughtered saddens me, but right about now, dying sounds like a swell idea. I’m only a year old. I have already had my family taken away from me, been pried off a frozen truck with crowbars, electrified with those long electrifying sticks, and fed food made up of my own species. The first day I arrived at the slaughterhouse, they fed new incoming cows the leftover cow fat from the previously slaughtered cattle. It was disgusting. It smelled of feces and dead cow. The forty other cows and I were all so hungry though, so we had to eat it. We hadn’t been fed on the truck ride a whole 24 hours prior to that. I closed my eyes and ate the cow intestine. I’m glad it took some portion of the horror away. I’m only a young cow. What more abuse is there to come?

Me and thousands of other cows spend most of our day eating disgusting food, sleeping, and walking in each others feces. Most cows are sick. We get infected or catch bugs going around quite easily. I’m guessing probably from either the food we are fed or our living conditions.

We are confined to a shiny, vertical, tin-like house. There are no windows. I have not seen daylight for three days. All I have to look at are the bright, artificial lights hanging from the ceiling and the peaceful blackness when I close my eyes to sleep.

I’m quite a bit fatter now. They feed us a lot. I have been told they only force feed us so much to fatten us up, so when we are slaughtered they can sell more meat out of our lifeless bodies. I don’t think that’s a true fact though. I certainly hope it’s not.

I made a new friend. His name is Ronn. He’s a black cow with white spots like me. We are the best of friends. We pretty much just sleep and eat together (which is all we have been doing here in the slaughterhouse), so I guess you could say we spend a lot of time together. Just yesterday I heard Marley, one of the immigrant workers, talk to his co-worker about me and Ronn always being together.

“They wanna separate us,” I mooed at Ronn in between bites of gloppy mush. “I can’t believe it. Why would they want to do that?”

“I dunno man,” he replied. “But don’t worry, I won’t let that happen.”

Ronn really cares for me. We kind of need each other. Neither of us have our families anymore. We are all we have.

I seem to be coming down with something. I have not been hungry for the past three days. Marley noticed and took me into a bright, bright room. There was a radio on while a doctor checked me for signs of infection.

“He could be infected. Do you think we can still slaughter him off to sell?”

“Yeah,” Marley told the doctor. “He’ll still make some good beef,” he obnoxiously laughed.

A commercial came on the radio. “Go beefatarian with our big mac – double quarter pounder with cheese. McDonald’s brings you the most juicy, filling hamburger you’ve ever eaten for just $4.79! Get yours now, exclusively at McDonald’s. Dooo-doo-doo, dooo-doo.”

Is that what we are being advertised for? Is that what we are sold for? Are our very lives only worth $4.79?

As they checked me for infection, my mind was racing. The more I thought about the commercial, the more furious I grew. The worst kind of anger is when you know you can’t do anything to stop the bad from continuing – that is what I felt like.

Now Ronn… he’s gone. How do I know, you ask? Word has gotten around about the surprise slaughter last night. Many cows that have been here for longer than I have experienced a surprise slaughter of their fellow cows many times, so many times that by now it’s not quite a surprise.  Ronn was taken away from me just last night and he hasn’t come back. Marley and two other buff guys came around our area and took about ten of us. I fought for Ronn ‘cause I knew where they were going to take him and what they would do to him. I mooed and tried to head-butt Marley. Immediately, I was stricken three or so times with an electrifying stick. It burned my side where they had struck me, as my heart feels now with Ronn gone. I am completely alone and I have nothing in this world.

Two weeks after Ronn’s death, Harold was slaughtered. He lived the last two weeks of his life as sad as he had ever been. By the time his slaughtering came around, he was glad he wouldn’t have to put up without Ronn around anymore. He was happy he wouldn’t be tortured anymore – no more shocks, no more mushy food. No more inhumane treatment. Slaughterhouses all over America treat their animals as if they aren’t living beings in need of great care.

Doll House

My body was frozen, the soft chair seemed to envelope my porcelain limbs. I waited a bit, for the dull thump and the darkness that signalled The Girl was preparing for bed. I was always hesitant in moving, for one time she had come back and caught Jeffrey walking.

Sally was the first to move, she creaked and stuttered as she swung her legs onto the wooden floor. Then, Frankie was next. Nobody moved fast, after a long day of sitting stiff and being moved from table to kitchen to bed, we were all sore. The house was illuminated with light and a silhouette moved across the wall, Mother. There was heated conversation between her and Father (I was not surprised), but finally the light was extinguished and the house was silent again.

Mother and Father loved to fight, and hated to love each other. Whenever Mother didn’t like the furniture, Father did. Whenever Father wanted family time, Mother had a headache. It went on like this, sometimes quiet, sometimes the shouting found their way to my room. Playing with me.

Days passed, then weeks, then months, and finally the house was never touched by The Girl. We watched her grow, she never knew we were there. I guess it was fine like that, until it wasn’t.

There was no school, The Girl stayed home. She had a friend over. Her mother came in, words were exchanged and the mother walked toward the house. It was like an earthquake, then a tornado. The house was lifted skyward, we all fell. A crash, a scream. Plates falling from shelves, books sliding down the hallways. A rough thud and then blinding light slanted through the windows. No one moved, then I did. Outside there was green and gray and moving boxes and more people. Suddenly, the house was opened and a hand reached in, sweeping us into darkness.

It felt like eternity before I could see again, but when I did I wanted to be blind. I was alone, the walls painted pink, as was the floor and furniture. Everything was clean, everything was new. That night I fell asleep to the sound of…nothing, no bickering about the worn out sofa or the wobbly chairs. I was never really interested in moving into a new house, I guess I just wanted a new set of furniture.

Future

January 9th, 2019

Is there anybody here? Hello? HELLO? AHHH! This book is unresponsive! What is so wrong in my life? AHHH! Let me read the manual. Oh, so this writing book is for me to write in and not for me to talk to. Ohh, I get It! Well, reader, I suppose our greeting was a bit unfriendly, but let’s start off with a good point, since you are going to be hearing about me for a long time. My name is Martin Malkin and I work as an assembly clerk at the electronics store Ripoff & Soups. What’s an assembly clerk, you ask? It means that I can be trusted for assembling lots of things like electronic clocks, electronic wallets, electronic credit cards, electronic cookbooks, fax machines, lightbulbs and others, including things like car batteries! It might seem like my life is dull but hey, at least I’m not a….uh…a button factory worker! You see, ever since the recession of 2014-2015 things have been semi-hard. I say that because while there are four castes, the Government, the Millionaires, the Monks and the Commoners. Wait, six castes. I forgot the Soldiers and the Homeless. As you see, I’m a Commoner. But there are no wars since the Great War and there are now 11 countries! There are North America, Europe, South America, Asia, Africa, Australia and Oceania, Antarctica, Britain, Central America, France, and the Moon. Also there are two Religions: Agu, and the Church of Good Hope. I’m in the Church of Good Hope. Last, there are millions of animals! But there are also billions of weapons in the atmosphere, most with either ice-nine or the Arctic Plague. Also most of those animals are genetically modified and there is not a single part of the ozone layer. But let’s have some good times and not get too melancholic! My job today was very annoying since apparently our work building is home to 2,000 labor unions. I don’t believe it, though. I had a very fun job. I assembled the minute hands of electric clocks. Again, it may seem like it was very boring but at least it wasn’t in a…what was that job again…ah…oh, a button factory, yeah a button factory. I left early to go to my personal ATM at my local bank in New, New, New, New, very far away New Harlem. I can’t ride a bike, so I took the subway. I got a new workers pass and shook the ATM to get more free money. I learned it from my dad. But I forgot my worker’s pass at the ATM in New, New, New, New very far away New Harlem. I rented a Honda and went back to the work buildin. Wait add a G. The work building. Why didn’t I pass my spelling exam? So Admiral Syria Jacks came up to me and yelled “Where’s your worker’s pass? It’s needed to come to the building!”

“Ahh s***!” I ran out to the nearest Corner store right on Elm street. There, a beggar came up and screamed in my ears, “The World Is Ending! Gather Yourselves For The End! The End Is Nigh! Bask In Your Existence While You Have It!”

I walked into the corner store with the highest expectations and I found a pass master by the frozen food aisles.

“One Worker’s Pass, Please!”

“Name.”

“Martin Marty Malkin.”

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.” I sprinted past the evangelistic beggar and came back to the Work Building. I gave my pass to Admiral Jacks and started constructing more minute hands, this time for a statue of Buddha Jr.

“Coffee Break,” yelled Admiral Jacks, and I was trampled by the footsteps of hundreds of children, women, old people, and middle aged men like me (well, I really don’t know how old I am because they stole all birth certificates, but I’m sure I’m middle aged). I went to my favorite coffee shop, Giribaldi, with my friends John Beese and Ibn-Louis. I tried to catch up with my friend Emmaline Mabatai but there’s a curtain everywhere that separates men and women in all public places, except for banks and parks (well, there’s only one park in this district, and that’s Clooney Park). I asked for my usual vanilla spicy decaf cappuccino, Beese got a bottle of caffeinated vodka, and Ibn-Louis got low-fat boba tea. The waitress asked for a tip and I gave it to her, enthralled. While she was walking away I told her I wasn’t done with my order.

“I’ll have a raspberry jam croissant with a cherry on top?” I asked. When she walked away again I asked if she could get me some crab soup. Then when she walked away I asked if she could come Saturday evening and she said she would have to check with her boyfriend. I said ok and was still wondering about meeting her when Beese started talking.

“Evaluations are in two weeks,” he said. “I already know who’s getting promoted and who ain’t.”

“Tell us,” Ibn-Louis said.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Shut up Martin, I’ll tell you. I’m going to get promoted out of this dumping ground for people’s convenience. I’m going to get to the board of directors of Ripoff & Soups and be somebody, not s***.”

“Ambitious goal,” Ibn-Louis exclaimed, “but I’m going to be in Washington, getting this company votes in congress, and making sure Mr. Tweed doesn’t get arrested for f***ing tax evasion!”

“What’s so bad about tax evasion?” I asked.

“It’ll get Tweed out of f****ing office, you d***!” Ibn-Louis said.

“No more jobs, you kid!” Beese added.

”Fine,” I said feeling happy that my friends can have a two-sided debate with them talking not about me and talking about theyr side. Wait it’s not theyr it’s their. AARGH! I should go back to boarding school of forceful relearning!

The same waitress came and she gave us all we asked. Me, my crab soup, a raspberry jam croissant with a cherry on top, and a vanilla spicy decaf cappuccino, John a caffeinated vodka, and Ibn-Louis a low-fat boba tea.

“Hey gal, get me some tulip honey badger muffin with a sprinkle of cocoal,” John called.

“Get me a Kellogg’s cereal cake,” Ibn-Louis added.

“Also come by my place saturday night. The Super Bowl’s on and it’s sushi pizza night!” John told the waitress.

“But I’m going with that young fellow,” she pointed at me.

“He’s a loser who doesn’t know the f***ing word fun!” he called.

“Fine. On saturday I’ll spend 15 minutes with loser.”

“Martin!” I said happily.

”You loser, Martin, I’ll spend 15 minutes with him and I’ll spend 2 hours with hunky…”

“John Beese, or as I like to say, John Beast!”

“Haha!” she yelled. “So yeah!”

“Coffee break is over!” Ibn-Louis said!

“Yeah, I’ll stay here and read my Playboy,” John answered.

“I’m goin’ to stay here and finish my Kellogg’s cereal cake,” Ibn-Louis said.

“And I’ll stay here too and play Candy Crush,” I said.

“No, leave, you’re a god*** motherf***ing bastard who’s a s***ing no funner!” John said.

“Yeah, get out of here, doofus!” Ibn-Louis replied.

“You guys are always right.” I was walking out of the door when my favorite song ever Baba O’Riley came on. I ran up to the podium and started singing the lyrics. Everyone joined in and it was really fun! Until the Workers police came and took us away for late break. I was beaten until I couldn’t get up but I guess what I was doing was pretty bad. Then John Beese came up to me and said CONFIDENTIAL, CENSORED BY NORTH AMERICAN GOVERNMENT. I was taken back to the work building where the great Mr. Tweed came up to me and stabbed me in the cheek.

“WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU LITTLE F***!” He stabbed me again. “DOES THAT HURT!” No answer. “DOES THAT HURT!” No answer. “DOES THAT HURT YOU LITTLE A** WHO WAS BORN BY A MIRACLE!”

“Yes,” I peeped. He stabbed me again, this time in the head.

“Why did you do what you did,” Tweed told me.

“I was singing Baba O’Riley, my favorite song!”

“YOU S***! YOU KNOW THE F***ING TIME!” Tweed yelled back. Now he kicked me in both of my shins. I fell down in pain, but I didn’t cry. “C’mon, cry!” he yelled. I started to cry. “Look, I’m treating you better than your folks, Mr. Beese and Mr. Ibn-Louis.”

I looked up a bit and I saw that Mr. Tweed was telling me the truth; Beese was getting bit by bloodhounds, and Ibn-Louis was getting waterboarded, yelling profanities every time he got hurt.

“Thank you for treating me better, Mr. Tweed,” I complimented. In response, he got his nearby monkey wrench and threw it at me. It hurt and it didn’t hurt at the same time.

“I’m not your f***ing parents!” he yelled. Then he sat down in a chair right next to me. “Listen, I gotta tell you something important. You’re going to space.”

“Really, Mr. Tweed?” I asked, in disbelief.

“Please, it’s Archibald Tweed Jr.”

“Yes!”

“So you are going to the space hotel to see if it can house life. You, Mr. Beese, Ms. Mabatai, Dr. Jockisoin, and Ms. Pelican will be going tomorrow at 11:00 p.m. You got that?”

“Yes, sir!” I replied.

“The reason we picked you and everyone else is because we did a survey of which person who will be not missed by anyone staying here and here were the rankings: you, Mabatai, Jockisoin, Pelican, and Beese. Also, since today is Sunday, you will be back on Earth anywhere between next Sunday to 17 years! Now scram! You can go back to your house!” And that was it for his monologue.

I ran out, doing the airplane. When I got back, I was stopped by my landlord.

“You owe me money,” he said.

“How much do you need?” I replied.

“$7,000,” he told me.

“Ok, here’s a check.” When I gave it to him I went back up to my apartment, where I stayed all day.

 

January 10th, 2019

 

I woke up with a sock on my head. It was a crusty, old sock that must have been worn I don’t know, ten to thirty years ago. Then it struck me that it must have been Mabatai! I ran out and right in front of me a bright pink drone started telling me an announcement: Come to the work building! Mr Tweed wants to show you your comrades. I found my bicycle and I rode it to the work building.

“Hello Martin, come with me,” Tweed walked with me to this green room with two blank computer monitors and a poster for Hotel California by The Eagles. First I saw Beese, who wore an undershirt and blue jeans, along with a baseball hat with the flag of Texas on it. He ruffled my hair and told me,

“You’re not gonna find any good babes here.”

Then came Dr. Jockisoin. He was wearing a light grey labcoat with a Led Zeppelin t-shirt underneath. He had some yellow church pants along with a green beret and bowling shoes. I also saw that he had long hair and he was really sun-tanned. He started telling me the Periodic Table when Ms. Pelican came in. Ms. Pelican had a big straw hat with a pink ribbon on it. She wore a white shirt with a Yale University sweater over it. She had sweat pants with Toms on. She also had shiny grey gloves. She came up to me and we had a conversation about the death penalty and then about labor unions. Then John came over to her and asked her “if she wanted to go with him later” (which from experience means that he was interested in her).

She raised her eyebrow and said “Possibly, I’ll think about it YOU IGNORANT SON OF A B****!” She put down the tequila she was holding and ran to what she thought was the farthest corner from Beese, which is apparently not that far.

John looked down at me and said, “I’m not giving up, you hear!” Then, to my joy and hopefully the joy of my colleagues, Ms. Emmaline Mabatai came in. She had a hoop skirt with HUMONGOUS stockings with Wall St. signs on them. She was wearing her Cardinals Jersey, a family relic since her great-grandfather (she told me that it usually goes to boys but since her parents never had a son they gave it to her). She had a lot of conmetics (no, it’s cosmetics. Arghh!). So she had a lot of cosmetics on and she had a turban on her head along with her suitcase. I looked a bit closer and I learned that she was listening to her teal iPod with Bob Dylan on. Specifically, the album Blonde on Blonde.

I waved my hand in front of her face to get her attention. It worked and she paused the music and looked at me. “What do ya want, Martin? Are you having the good life?” she said.

“Y-y-you are so b-b-beautiful Emmaline!” I stumbled out of my numb mouth.

“Thanks, you look pretty cute Martin,” she replied.

Our chit-chat was interrupted by the booming voice of Mr. Tweed’s secretary. “Hello, Dr. William Jockisoin, Ms. Emmaline Mabatai, Mr. John Beese, Ms. Louisa Pelican, and Mr. Martin Malkin, welcome to our first meeting together. I am Mr. Tweed’s Secretary, Mrs. Secretary. In a few hours you will all be Ripoff & Soups first commercial passengers to our Space Hotel. Hopefully you survive.” (Then I saw out of the corner of my eye the DJ putting in the turntable the record for Journey’s Greatest Hits.) “Thank you for your bravery and your consumerism. Goodbye,” Mrs. Secretary monologued. (It’s a word Ibn-Louis made up a year ago).

We all left the work building and then Me & Ms. Pelican with Dr. Jockisoin went to the nearbiest (another word that Ibn-Louis made up) church that belonged to the Church of Good Hope. When we got to the church, Saint Marc Jacobs had a seminar. “God made us to be your conscience, and our guidance is telling you to give us $130, with tax.”

People were throwing money at Saint Jacobs when Mr. Tweed blasted through with a toupee on. “I am here to become a saint, right now!” he declared, giving Jacobs some money, humming Pink Floyd while he did it.

St. Jacobs said, “Everyone, we have a new Saint, St. Tweed, who joins our ranks of Saints. Johnny, declare for me our Saints.” Johnny, St. Jacobs’ personal helper, put on some fake glasses and read out something from his iPhone.

“St. Marc Jacobs, St. Gregg Only, St. Job Less, St. Jim ‘Lucky’ Duck, St. Paul Simon, and now St. Archibald Tweed!”

Everyone clapped along, except Ms. Louisa Pelican. “So, I can pay to become a Saint?” she asked, nearly sarcastically.

“No, girls can’t become Saints until 2039,” St. Jacobs replied stubbornly.

“So you are sayin’ that girls are too incompetent to be Saints?” she quommented (it’s another word Ibn-Louis made up, a mixture of a question and a comment).

“No, I didn’t say anything abou — ”

“If no, why can’t we be Saints?”

“I, I, I don’t know about this stuff. I didn’t start this religion.”

“Well, who did?” That left St. Marc Jacobs speechless. the whole church was in suspense, a suspense which can not be words, a suspense which can only be seen to be described. Jacobs ran away from the podium he was standing, in the heat of the suspense. Then a person in a preacher’s clothes jumped up from his seat and started twiddling with his rosary.

“I know about this whole thing. It’s a big f***ing scam, a big one!” he yelled.

“Really?” Louisa asked, with a wanting-to-know look on her face. “Tell me more about this scam?”

“This was all started as a religion where you don’t have to do anything, just a religion which is a religion just in name, not at all in practice. All these seminars and stuff are all made up your local preacher and/or saint makes this stuff up,” the preacher said.

Then Louisa asked. “How do you know all this stuff Mr…um…”

“It’s Starling Mann, and I know all these things I told you ‘cause I co-founded this religion.” The name Starling Mann made Louisa’s eyes bulge.“Wait, youre the person who owns that nearby record store! You started this religion?” Ms. Pelican questioned in shock.

“Yes, strange things can happen these days. Now, you all leave, I need to talk with Johnny here. NOW!!” Mr. Mann told all of us. We all left, and I was strangely happy. Right outside of the Church, Ms. Pelican & me saw a Creedence Clearwater Revival cover band playing. I looked closer at their drums (drums always have the band’s name printed on them) and I found out they were called “Fogerty’s Lost Boys.” We started dancing and soon we spent three or four hours listening to this cover band. By the time “Fogerty’s Lost Boys” left, there was a Simon & Garfunkel cover band coming, “The People Who Can’t Hear The Sounds of Silence.” But for us though, it was time for lunch & coffee break. More coffee break for me, more lunch for Louisa. I ran to the closest coffee shop that was not Giribaldi, and I found it. It was called “The Closest Coffee Shop That’s Not Called Giribaldi,” and it had the best coffee that was not from Giribaldi. I saw that with me was John Beese, Dr. William Jockisoin, and Ms. Pelican! John had his registered “hooking up with women and either making out with them in the bathroom or getting their phone number to make out in my bathroom” clothes on (will it work? I don’t know), Dr. Jockisoin had an infamous blue overcoat on, and Ms. Pelican just put on a winter hat from her purse.

“I’m in the mood for some karaoke,” Jockisoin said.

“I would like to hear some gossip,” Beese replied.

“How about some 20 Questions?” Ms. Pelican said.

“But what do you want, Martin?” Louisa said.

“Malkin, Malkin, he’ll do anything!” John boomed in self-confidence.

“I’ll gossip” I repleyeid (It’s replied not repleyeid!! *** grammar!)

“That’s a great idea!” Beese started saying. “I think we should start with Ms. Louisa here,” he stated.

“No, I think we should start with Beese here,” Ms. Pelican replied.

“Yeah, we should,” Jockisoin looked at Beese with a suspicious eye.

“OK,” Beese said nervously, and he started.

“I was born on April 31st, I don’t know what year in Everston, Texas. My father Hamilton Beese was a 1st Commander in the U.S Army and my mum, Mary Beese, was a housewife. Now, it seems like my dad was kind ‘cause he was in the army, but he had a severe case of PTSD and he was a bit schizo. He had fought in the Vietnam War and had seen things that shouldn’t be known to 9 to 10-year-olds like me. He had recorded the sounds of war on his tape recorder that was shown to me. He also told me stories that were the most gruesome. I remember that once when I was 1-8 months old he had a horrible thought that made him get a carving knife and chase my mum. She held me and I was the only thing separating her from him. He anyway charged Mom with the knife and slashed her in her arm. She dropped me and I was picked up by my crazy dad. He was about to kill me when mother Mary grabbed me from his arms and ran out of the house, locking the door so he couldn’t chase us. That was the scariest experience of me with my dad until I wa — ”

Jockisoin interrupted by pointing at the window, his mouth gaping. There were some people holding up signs that read “*** the meaning of Religion, Bless your inner feelings!” and some people with signs that said “The government is a company!” Louisa, John, and William were all talking about the signs, but I looked at a waitress who was coming to give us all our coffee.

“Um, excuse me miss but can I talk with you?” I asked.

“Sure,” she replied.

I went up to her and I asked the hallowed question, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, well, I used to but I dumped him two days ago. He was a douche. He thought that to be a boyfriend you need to make you and your girlfriend be pretty much identical. So he made me do whatever he did and it was the WORST relationship ever.”

“Well, why didn’t you break up with him earlier?” I replied in thought.

“Because, when someone, like, cheats on him or says that they want to break up with him he goes PSYCHO! His doctor says he has a bad mental disorder. So I didn’t do it until I didn’t care about giving him a mental breakdown, but I’m looking for a boyfriend,” she said.

Then I let it out, “Can I be your boyfriend?”

After backing up a bit and almost running away, she said in a calm voice, “Sure.”

I let out an inner victory cheer and then I asked almost as soon, “What’s your name and what’s your phone number?”

“My name is Melanie Kippwoff and my number is 1-916-879-3288. What’s yours?”

“My name is Martin Marty Malkin and my number is 1-000-111-2233.”

“Where do you work, Martin?”

“I’m an assembly clerk at Ripoff & Soups, you?”

“I work here as my day job, but my real job is being the owner of Ticky-Tacky Records and cashier of its subsequent store.”

“Well, that’s a pretty good job!”

“Thanks, Mart! Is it OK that I call you Mart?”

“Yeah, it’s OK!” I responded. “Also I’m goin’ to be one of the first people to be in Ripoff & Soups, and first commercial space hotel.”

“That’s amazing! When are you going up there?”

“Today in fact, at 11:30!”

“Great, I can’t wait to see you! Skype me from the space hotel!”

“Oh, my skype address is martinmalkyc@skype,” I said.

She answered back by saying, “Well, mine is melanierainerl@skype.”

My heart was racing but then Jockisoin was racing, using his feet, to go tell me, “It’s 3:30, we should go.” I looked at the clock, he was right, it was 3:30, then 3:31, then 3:32, then 3:33. My precious time with Melanie was being wasted! I said goodbye, then I ran out of “The Closest Coffee Shop That’s Not Called Giribaldi” and ran to the department store. You always need a few supplies for living in space for who knows how long! I bought some cookie cutters, some spoons, knives, forks, sporks, combination locks, hairbrush, aerosol, ziploc bags, headphones, paper, a fax machine assembly kit, and an aqualung. I went to the clothing store and bought shoes, shirts, tuxedos, sweaters, undershirts, and helmets. Last but not least, I went to Amazing Savings and bought some gluten-free gluten, rainbow cookies, ice cream sandwiches, modified green beans, edible glue, M&Ms, Hershey’s Chocolate Beer, Fosters, Coca-Cola-Pepsi-Dr.Pepper-Sunkist-Fanta Mixable Fountain Soda pack (it also comes with five cans of each soda individually), tonic water, kale, and finally, pink peeps.

When I finished my shopping spree my personal sense of time told me it was 5:09. I ran home and started folding my clothes and packing stuff into stuffcases. Then I found a picture of my mom, Nicole, and my dad, Casey, with me at Washington Monument when I was 8. For some strange reason we all doing peace signs, at a monument. I started laughing in a sort of inside joke kind of way. Then I found some more pictures where that picture was. One of them was with my first girlfriend, Joane, and me at age 13 at a hockey game at Mexico City. There was another picture of me and my half-cousin Georg, pretending to put our hands on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I can see that I was 10 when we did that picture. And finally I found a picture of Nicole and Casey about to board a plane to Rwanda as Peace Corps volunteers (my parents said they weren’t there long ‘cause they mistranslated their Kinyarwanda, an official language of Rwanda, wrong). I stuffed quickly the pictures and the subsequent photo album into one of my packs. I also packed lots of books, old & new vinyl records and a turntable, movies, two computers, and a foolproof razor.

When I had finished packing all my stuff into stuffcases, I got something that in the writing world (which I’m afraid to say in a world I’m new to) we call writer’s block. So I called the advice hotline.

“Hello, how can I help you?” called the receptionist in a calming voice.

“Hi, my name is Martin Malkin. I would like some advice on what to do when you have nothing on your hands at the time being?”

“Yes, you should go get a life!” the receptionist yelled right before she hung up. I sulked until I looked and saw that John Beese was running my way.

“Mart, come quick!”

“What?”

“Ibn-Louis is gay!”

I thought about it for a while. then I saw a mixed feeling on John’s face that gave me the idea that he did not like this simple fact of life.

“What’s the deal?” I told Beese.

“I don’t know. Goodbye!” John said and he ran away to somewhere.

As I was walking to the work building I passed a bookstore that I mysteriously walked into. I started to buy some books, since I had now (dang it! It’s ‘no’! Aaah! spelling strikes again!) sorry no real anything to do at all. I bought War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (since I was going to be there for a long time, right reader?), Ulysses by James Joyce, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, and Animal Farm by George Orwell (as you can see reader, I am trying to dig deep into classic literature).

But then, a bright green book caught my eye. It was some philosophy of Phillipe Froufrou. I bought it quickly because of 2 things. 1.) It was because bright green books are usually very entertaining, and 2.) ‘cause I wanna know some good philosophy! I went up to the cashier and asked her what the price was.

“$29.06 please!” she answered in monotone. I gave her the wanted price and started my very short sprint to my wanted destination. Then suddenly some prostitutes fell on my knees asking for a chance, their infamous business having gone smaller by the day. I contemplated and I gave them a chance. I paid their price. It felt good. I could easily possibly remember some of those minutes for a few years. I left the old rusty condos where “it” happened and I checked the clock. It was 9:50. I skipped all the way to the Work Building.

There Mr. Tweed was waiting for me in glossy black designer shoes with designer Gucci clothing on. I could see the hair gel too. Don’t forget the hair gel. Looking very impatient, he ushered me into a blue-walled room, or auditorium to be specific, with a cool organ that I ran to, to bang random keys on. In the middle of my own improvised symphony Tweed ordered me to stop it at once, for it was, quote, “grinding his eardrums into dust.” I sulked into one of the pews. I started to read the Holy Bible, having nothing else to do. Then everyone came in, not just including the crew, the guests of honor, but also secretaries, dancers, entertainers, professional organ players, backup astronauts, technicians, priests and much more others! I also found Syria Jacks and Ibn-Louis here! We all gathered around and talked about politics and religion when we heard a professional organ player play “Rise of the Valkyries” by Richard Wagner and Mr. Tweed and Mrs. Secretary strutted to the pulpit like it was a runway.

Mr. Tweed got up to the pulpit and started talking. He motioned the professional organ player to stop playing. He stopped abruptly and immediately. “Hello!” he started. “My name is Archibald P. Tweed Jr. but please, call me Tweed. I am so glad to say that in exactly two hours Ms. Emmaline Mabatai, Mr. John Beese, Ms. Louisa Pelican, Dr. William Jockisoin and Mr. Martin Malkin will be Ripoff & Soups, or in general first at all, people to go on a commercial space hotel. I say we give these astronauts an ovation!” (There was a quick ovation.) “This is a big deal for the history of big business and space and science! We’ve beaten Virgin Galactic! I feel so glad to have this company taken completely different and new paths that have gone rock steady so far, such as our successful space program! Maybe soon, we’ll be able to populate Mars! Now, let’s get this show on the road and get these men on the shuttle! C’mon!” Before we got out of the auditorium we were stopped by Tweed and some of his goons. “Here is the Bible and the Book of Mormon, a Bag of medications and a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner, it could get dusty in there,” he said. Then we went to the shuttle. Jockisoin whispered into my ear, “I vomited when I was at the simulators in Cape Canaveral.” I gulped. I have no idea where I’m going right now. They start the countdown. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Goodbye Earth, hello space hotel!

To Be Continued…

My Life As A Senior

It was 8 a.m. and it was time to get out of bed and start my first day as a senior at Valley High. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed my lunch from the table and walked to my blue convertible. I started the engine and drove down Pine Lane to pick up my one and only friend Laney. It took us 15 minutes to get to school and we parked outside. It was senior orientation and the principal gave us the welcome back to school speech and we got our new schedules. My first class was AP Calc BC with Ms. Tang.

I went to my locker, the same one I had for the past three years, to unpack my bag and grab my binder for class. As always, I was late to class and ended up sitting next to Jack, the most gross guy in school. I looked around and happened to see Janice on her phone, as always checking her Instagram likes, while Josh was taking a nap. Ms. Tang walked over and screamed in her Chinese accent, “Wake up! You’re not at home. You’re at school and at school you learn.”

Ms. Tang was characterized as the most hated teacher in school, not because of the class she teaches, but because when she talks no one can understand her. I used to love math before Ms. Tang joined Valley, but now I hate it, and it’s has become my worst subject. When Ms. Tang taught us, she would take three days to cover a topic. One was to learn the concepts then next day without practice while the last day was quiz day. However, Ms. Tang was never confident at what she was teaching as she barely answered all the questions that the class asked her. The bell finally rang, and first period was finally over. Now just 4 more to go. I ran out of the room as fast as I could, and walked up to Laney by her locker which was right next to mine and complained, “That was the longest period of my life! Seniors year sucks. I can’t wait to get out of this hellhole.”

“Janie, it’s okay. You’ll get through it. What is your next class? I have AP Lit,” Laney said in an optimistic tone.

“British Lit,” I said.

I hated Shakespeare. Who is supposed to understand what on earth he is trying to say? The bell rang and we both were late for second period. Ms. Moore, my English teacher, was British of course. At least with her accent I could understand her, but wished I didn’t. The first play that was assigned to read was Othello. I was ecstatic when she said Othello because I had read the book over the summer, when I took a summer English class to get more credits for my transcript. So I decided then that I wasn’t going to do anything for this class, and instead stress over the fact I might not get into college.

Three years of high school has already passed for me and I can’t change that. My average has been the same each year, and an average of an 81 is not going to get me into a really good college. I was so worried that instead of going to lunch with Laney, I decided to visit my college counselor, Mr. Paxton. He was the funniest counselor I had met in the school. I knew from the moment I met him that he was different. He had long brown hair down to his shoulders and he always had a stash of junk food in his left drawer. I knocked on his door and said, “Hey Mr. P, what’s up?”

Mr. P said in an Australian accent, “Ow-yar-goin mate?”

“I’m worried about my grades and that it’s not going to get me into a good college. I’ve always been a slacker and that’s not gonna change. My parents think that the only college I’ll get into is Pine Valley Community College, which is like the worst school ever!!”

He said, “No drama, mate. It will work out fine. If you work hard this year for the first semester and show you’re trying to make an effort and raise your grades a little, you’ll be fine. Now nick off, you’re bothering me. I was eating my fifth twinkie before you walked in. Go eat lunch!”

I went to have a quick chat with Laney before I went to AP Chemistry. In my head, I thought, this is the easiest class ever. Science has always been my strong suit. I loved learning about the elements of the periodic table and I wanted to learn more about Organic Chemistry. I can definitely pull my grade up for this class. Mr. Kuplar was the most serious teacher in school. He loved chemistry and loved teaching it for the past three decades. Our lab that day was to learn more about reactive metals such as sodium and potassium. Once our lab was completed, we had to write a lab report concluding our data and findings.

As I started thinking about our lab, I started to daydream about the cutest guy in school who happened to be in my chemistry class. His name was Niall and he was the quarterback of the football team. His sea blue eyes mesmerized every girl in school. He has a big sense of humor and always has a jock that makes the class burst into laughter. Not only do people love his cute face and sense of humor he also loves to sing, dance, and play the guitar. Even all the guys gave him the nickname “The Triple Threat.” I imagined him asking me to senior prom, but while day dreaming I hadn’t realized that I had put some potassium powder in water. All of a sudden I heard bubbling noises. I woke up and saw that the potassium mixed with water. The mixture created potassium hydroxide which can lead to an explosion. Just as it was about to explode, I yelled to the class, “Everybody get down!!!” and a small explosion occurred.

Mr. Kuplar was in the back of the room, saw the explosion and fell to the ground. We all gathered around him, and I shook him to wake him up thinking he fainted from what he saw, but he wasn’t waking up.

Someone shouted across the room, “Janey, you gave him a heart attack. You killed him.”

All of a sudden, we heard the fire alarm go off . The smoke in the room got worse. I turned around to realize that the reaction never stopped, and I finally pulled the fire alarm button and everyone went in panic mode.

“Run!” Niall said as he ran out of the room.

We all were gathered around outside in the school’s football field. Mr. Jenkins, the school’s principal came running to the school field franticly looking to see if everyone was okay.

He walked straight up to our class and said in a loud angry tone, “Can someone explain to me what happened to Mr. Kuplar and what caused the fire?”

I didn’t dare to speak, but I knew that if i didn’t, I probably would be in more trouble than I was already in. So I decided to suck it up and confess. I walked up and said, “This is all my fault, sir!!!”

“How so?” he said.

“Well, we were doing a lab assignment and I was not paying attention and caused a chemical explosion,” I said.

“You think this was a mini fire!!! Everyone evacuated the building. You caused a disruption in every class. Tomorrow come to my office and we’ll talk about the consequences. As for everyone else, school is over for the day. See you tomorrow.”

I walked to the school parking lot to head home and Laney found me and asked me what had happened. As I drove her home, I explained the whole story to her. Laney exited the car and said, “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”

As I drove down the road, I thought to myself, what are the consequences that I might receive and what will happen to me? I didn’t want to face my punishment or the reality.

When I got home the maid said, “Your parents are out for the night at a benefit and won’t be home til late.”

“Okay, ask the cook to make me Chinese food tonight.”

I went up to my room to check social media about posts of what had happened today. Everyone in the class told everyone what had happened on Facebook. I started to get frustrated about the situation as people started to make up stories. One crazy story was that I started the explosion on purpose because I hated school and everyone in it. That story spread around and everyone was commenting about how crazy I was and how stupid of an idea it was.

I couldn’t face my classmates tomorrow. I didn’t want to be the laughing stock of the whole school. Words travel fast in Valley High and once they hear gossip it never ends. I was tired to doing nothing for the past few years. I wanted to be more independent and outgoing and the only mind that I thought would help me get there was to go somewhere else. Some where no one knew me. I always had a hidden interest in going to Morocco to learn Arabic, as well as to learn more about their culture and gain a whole different on perspective in life.

I decided then and there to leave to Morocco. I wanted to get away, far away as possible. Not only was it across the world but my friends and family would never think that I would decide to go to there. I walked up to my parents room and opened my mother’s drawer and took 5,000 dollars, which was all of the money left in the drawer and purchased a one way ticket to Rabat, Morocco in a different name. I walked into my room looking for my luggage and started packing all the things I could fit in my luggage.

As I was walking down the stairs I got a call from Laney. In a rush to leave I hit ignore.

One Wish

I.

“If you were granted one wish, what would it be?” The shimmering purple genie leaned closer to Yi, studying her every move. Yi took a step back, trying not to slip on the other crystalline bottles scattered around her dusty attic. She thought for a moment.

“I got it! I wish for a hundred more wishes!” she yelped in excitement. The Genie gave her a look.

“No, no, no. You can’t wish for something like that! It’s against the whole genie code thing. Just…just wish for something, anything!

Yi stopped for a minute.

“Well, if it’s one wish, I’d better think about it! Give me a minute.” Yi cleared a few bottles off of an old box of toys and sat down. Her mother collected these kinds of things – they were everywhere – but Yi hadn’t expected a genie to pop out of one when she accidentally knocked it off the shelf. “Hey, you have a name right? Tell me!”

“You should really focus on making a wish right now, but if you have to know, my name is Astrid. 1,000 year old genie at your service.” Astrid tried to do a few loops in the air, but she was pulled to the ground by the remnants of the broken bottle. “Now see here, I’m stuck in this bottle, but if you make a wish, then I’ll go free, capiche?”

“Oof, fine. Just…give me a minute.” Yi leaned backwards and pondered her wish. “I got it!!!” she said, jumping up, unsettling a few bottles in the process.

“Well, come on then, spit it out kid!” Astrid looked ready to burst.

“Well, everybody has to die, right? But I don’t want to, so I wish that I could live forever!” Astrid’s face fell a little.

“We genies get this one a lot. Well, how would you like it, what sort of deal do you want here.” Astrid did a couple of impatient loops.

“Well, I don’t really care if I never die, right? Let’s do it!! ” Yi squeaked. She was jumping up and down in excitement.

“Well, I think I have a good idea of what you want out of this….Fine, it doesn’t matter much what happens to you as long as I get out of here. Alright, kid. Get ready.” Yi felt a little shock as Astrid granted her wish. Yi looked around with gleaming eyes – she really would never die! Feeling somewhat reassured, Yi jumped up and down once more.

“Astrid!!” Yi called out. “Thank you so much!!!” Astrid gave her a look.

“No problem kid, it’s not like doing this hurts me or something. In fact, you’ve done me a great favor…”

Astrid, now free of her invisible chains, flew up into the dusty attic air and did a full cartwheel.

“It feels good to finally be out of there…” she mumbled. Looking back at Yi she said: “Welp, kid. It’s been fun, but I’m going to leave now. I’m finally free!”

Without another word Astrid phased through the closed attic window and flew off. Yi mumbled a goodbye and stared downwards at the remnants of the bottle. That bottle…was her mother’s bottle! Oh no – her mom was coming home soon, she was gonna kill her! Yi jumped as she heard a thunk coming from downstairs. Looks like she was home already.

“Yi Anamarjia!” her mother sternly called. “I heard a noise from upstairs…get down this instant, young lady!” Yi scrambled down the stairs as fast as she could, trying not to slip. But she guessed if she fell it didn’t matter – she was immortal now! When Yi had made her way down to the kitchen, her mother was waiting there, bearing a grim look. “Honey, what did I tell you about going into the attic…”

“Never…” Yi mumbled, avoiding eye contact with her mother.

“Honey, you didn’t meet any genies up there, did you?” she inquired.

“No, Mother…” Yi said again.

“Good. If there really is a genie, I want the wish, OK? Your father paid a lot of money for these you know, and I get that you don’t believe in this stuff, but I do.”

A tiny grin formed on Yi’s face. She had met a genie, and she had gotten one awesome wish.

“Alright honey, dinner’s at seven, so don’t forget to wash up beforehand.”

“Yes, Mother….” Yi chimed one more time, before walking away. Sometimes her mother got on her nerves so much.

“Oh, honey! Your father is working late tonight, so he won’t be here for dinner!” Her mom screamed up the stairs.

Yi didn’t respond. Yi shuffled into her room, it was small, but comfy. She flopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, a newfound excitement welling up inside her. She could live forever! She could see a bright future where she made tons of friends and did all sorts of crazy things! But, the best part was that she could never die! Yi knew that there were going to be fun times ahead of her.

 

II.

 

Yi mumbled to herself as she walked down the street. It had already been four years since she made her wish! Though she was deep in thought, when Yi passed the flower shop she instinctively stopped. In the window, there was a shiny glass vase bursting with bright pink tulips. Yi looked at them for a long time through the window. Her mother loved pink tulips, and she often made Yi buy some for her on the way home. But not today. Yi’s mom was dreadfully sick, keeping her busy father at home to try to take care of her. Yi started walking again. As she made her way through town, she had to stop one last time near her favorite clothing store.

A group of girls from her school were inside, gawking at a very mature dress. Yi stared at her ageless body through a mirror. Well, after she had her growth spurt and all that, Yi’s body never changed. Her hair could take months at a time to grow not even half an inch. She had been cut and bruised so many times and had miraculously recovered. Her face never wrinkled, and her body never showed any physical signs of change after that time. Yi used to love that store so much, but now she almost never went in because of the other girls inside. The group currently in the store gave her an icy group of glances, so Yi decided to move on.

Slowly, Yi approached her quiet home, looking up at the saggy roof and dusty windows, Yi sighed. Entering the house, Yi heard the quiet of her father and mother upstairs, so she decided not to bother them and went into the kitchen. Yi quietly fixed herself a cup of tea, and while she was drinking it her father came down to fetch some medicine. He never said hello to Yi anymore. While watching her father’s shaking hands browse through the medicine cabinet and grip the bottle of his medicine tightly, Yi thought. Her father was getting old too. After they both died, what would she do?

Yi tried not to think about it and went back to sipping her tea. After her father was out of the room, she decided to go back up into the attic, just for some more quiet time. Thumping up the stairs after her father, Yi didn’t care about how much noise she made. When she opened the attic door with a creak, her father whipped around.

“Yi! Where do you think you’re going!” he snapped quickly.

“Oh, be quiet, Dad,” Yi mumbled before disappearing up the attic steps. Hearing no audible response from her father, Yi went up the stairs at a leisurely pace. Reaching the attic, Yi was greeted by many of her mother’s bottles, gleaming in the muted light from the windows. With a thump, Yi threw herself down onto the attic floor, creating a cloud of dust around her. The smell of old books assaulted her nose, and the dim room strained her eyes. Yi closed them. That was how she liked it. Sitting up here sort of made her forget her problems, especially the problem that she never told her parents about that “fatal” wish she made. Yi sat up there for hours and hours, never bothering to care. Why should she care anyways? Everything but her was going to be gone eventually.

III.

Yi tied up her newly bleached white hair. Though her mother and father both died, she never did. She was constantly being chased by the police because of how abnormal she was, so she had to constantly change her name and appearance. Now, Yi was returning to her hometown after many years of traveling. She had been all over the U.S. on foot. It wasn’t hard for her since her feet never got tired, even if her shoes were worn out. Walking through a section of strangely familiar woods, Yi saw the dismal roof of her old house peeking out over the treetops. Passing through her front yard, Yi glanced at the “For Sale” sign near the porch. After her parents died but Yi lived on, rumors had spread about the house being cursed. Yi stamped up the stairs to her front door, which gave her a disapproving screech in response. Opening her tattered backpack she had owned since 9th grade, Yi took out her old house key, which she had desperately tried not to lose. She even jumped in front of a truck on the highway to make sure her keys weren’t crushed under its monstrous wheels. Of course, she had to change her appearance again just to make sure no one knew she had stayed alive. Yi entered her dusty house once again. All of the old furniture was still in place. There was so little interest in the house that no one bothered to scrape the dust off of the chairs and such. Yi decided not to get too overwhelmed by her nostalgia and went up the stairs. She knew what she was after.

Tearing through the cobweb covered stairs to the attic, Yi looked into the dark place where all of her troubles had been born. Her mother’s glass bottles were still in place, but they no longer shined. The more she thought about it, didn’t her mother mention at some point how she wanted to wish on a genie to live forever? Her memories of the times when she was living with her parents were foggy at best. These objects of pure pain and suffering seemed so fragile… you could simply break one. Yi spent no time wasting away in her thoughts. She lunged for the nearest bottle – a dusky green one – and threw it against the floor of the attic as hard as she could. Stray glass shards nicked her legs, but it didn’t matter to her. One after another, Yi shattered all of her mother’s prized possessions. Eventually, Yi hoisted a dull aquamarine bottle into the air and slammed it to the floor with a loud crack. As the broken shards settled among others, a small blue light drifted out of the remains of the bottle. Yi took a step back as another genie rose up to meet her.

“Why, hello there!” he said, seemingly not noticing anything out of the ordinary. “You want a wish, right? Well, why don’t I grant it for you?” The genie looked right into Yi’s eyes, waiting for an answer.

“I know this might sound bad, but please, I wish I could die,” Yi coldly replied to the genie, unwavering.

“Well, it’s your choice. Are you sure?” he said, taking the request as if it was just something anyone would ask him.

Yes!” Yi snapped. She was sick of him already, and it had barely been two minutes.

“Geez, ok! I’ll get on it. Now let’s see here…I’m sorry, but I can’t grant that wish,” the genie said. There was a dusty silence as Yi realized.

“What?! Why?” She screamed.

“I dunno, it’s some complicated part of the genie code or something. Can’t you think of another wish?”

“No.”

“Please? I just need one wish, and then-”

“I WISH YOU WERE GONE!” Yi screamed. She had had it with this stupid existence, and this genie was not helping her mood.

“Well, fine then. Wish granted.” The genie faded away, leaving a tiny cloud of settling dust in his wake. Yi was not done yet. Sobbing as she smashed bottle after bottle, a river of blood, tears, dust, and broken glass trailed behind her. Screaming as the shatter of her mother’s last bottle echoed throughout the house, Yi sank to the ground in misery. Curling up in a fetal position on the ground, Yi let the dust settle around her.

 

IV.

The human race was done for, well, except for Yi. The sparse deserts of what used to be planet earth shook with the energy of the sun. Even the sun, which was the source of all life, was going to go out soon. Yi watched as the giant star crept closer and closer to the dying planet. Everything fried under the sun, but not her. Waves of scattering sand whipped through her hair and stung her eyes, but she didn’t cry. Slowly, everything would be gone. She would live and live and live, but what would happen when the universe itself disappeared? What happened before the universe? Yi would outlive time itself, even if she was dying on the inside. The sun gave out one last dying breath, rocking the earth. Suddenly, a huge blast of light engulfed everything. The flames of the star scorched her skin and burned off her hair. It didn’t matter. She’d grow it back later. Yi felt her body being shredded apart in the blast. It didn’t matter. As this world ended, one day a new world would begin again.

Silent World

Silent world. Chemical world. My world. They mean the same thing. Before, there used to be life, plants, animals, society. Not anymore. I write this as the chemicals slowly ravage my body, the same ones that killed this world. Maybe, if our world can heal, you will find this and know our mistakes, but let me start when I began to understand our wrongs.

It was blue today, the picture on my wall. The ultimate expanse, the sky, arching over the glittering ocean. Yesterday it was the grandeur of the redwoods, nothing like the small trees that line the streets here. The pictures make some people mad at those who took these wonders from us.

We are the lucky ones, the teachers at school say, the only ones who didn’t try to destroy the world. Yet no one listened to Ersatz, the company who sponsored Eden, so they all had to suffer in their hell as we lived in paradise.

But that’s all over now. We are the only ones left and today we have a Gathering, to decide who gets the new position in the lab. I contemplate getting chosen as I pull on my coat and head into the sunshine. If I get it, there could be a potential social benefit, but the work would be hard.

As I arrive in the amphitheater the head-scientist Thomas flashes a sparkling grin at me, his dark hair artfully shaped. Then again, social benefits didn’t sound so bad. People listened to those who worked at the lab, especially at Gatherings when big decisions are made. I will probably be picked. There are only a few others with the qualifications to take the job.

Thinking about it, I really want that job.

Nine and a half hours later the debate is still going on and Thomas, who is advocating for me, is losing. His Secondary, Robert, is working with Kelsie who also wants the job. She is blond and her blue eyes are vibrant against her black eyeliner. It is no mystery why Robert is fighting oh-so valiantly for her, seeing as he is an unattractive and unmarried man. If she gets the job due to him it is expected that she will be more open to him.

Thomas is getting tired and a few more men had joined in with Robert, probably to get “in” with Kelsie. Finally, when it reaches 10:00 p.m., Thomas gives up, Kelsie gets the job and I am stuck back at University. Feeling fed up because I am extremely qualified while she had barely passed exams, I stomp out.

On the way back to my apartment I pass Thomas, who tries to say something to me, but I just push passed him, too upset to talk.

When I get home I see that the picture had changed, it is now a lightning storm over a cliff. It is strange, how the picture makes me feel. Like I am filled up, so full that I could burst. I have never been this angry before. I always succeed, I am top of the class, I deserve that job.

Before I realize what I am doing, I shatter the screen that holds the pictures. A hot stinging sensation shoots up my arm, I look down to see my own blood that now decorates the glass. It hurts, but part of me likes it. Part of me says to keep on hurting because it will never go away. After all of my work, all my running, I will still hurt because I have lost them, I have lost the job, I have lost Thomas. Red descends on my vision, lulling me into a state of comforting rage. Finally being able to let out how I feel.

I awake hours later, feeling tired and empty. That full feeling, having hope and anger swirling through my head is gone. I am left feeling adrift in the world. What is left for me? That was the only job opening and I don’t think I could bear working in the lower levels. Processing numbers all day, coming home and drinking the night away, only to do it again the next day.

Maybe letting my license expire would be worth it. I mean, the rest of the world might hate Eden, but they could accept me. All I would have to do is wait and then I could leave. The rest of the world and I certainly had something in common; both of us had our lives fall to ashes.

Just one more week and then I could go see the ocean and redwoods from the shattered screen. I smile gently as I pull the covers over shoulders. No longer feeling empty I slip back to sleep.

Two days later, I find myself next to Thomas in one of the many decorative gardens.

“I’m going to let my license expire,” I tell him when the conversation comes to a lull, my voice barely louder than the singing fountain. I was expecting sadness, a little betrayal maybe, but not the sheer horror that covered his face like plaster.

“What? You — you’ll be dismissed! You can’t go, how will you survive?” he splutters. Survive? The world may not be as easy outside of Eden, but it certainly isn’t lethal.

“How do you mean? It might not be entirely accepted but it certainly isn’t dangerous!” My voice is rising by the word. His face falls blank for a moment, then he grabs my face between his palms.

“Listen to me. Whatever they have told you is a lie. I can’t let you go, I can’t let you throw your life away not before I — ” He stops, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes wild with something I couldn’t recognize. An insanity, a protective desperation, a need for something.

“What, Thomas?” I whisper. My voice is shaky and scared.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” He resumes his seamless, professional appearance that I recognize from when he gives lectures at University. Even though he’s only a year older than me, he is already the Second Scientist at the lab, I mean, what else would a Presidential descendant expect?

And the way he looks at me, like he is terrified of the thought of me in the outside, away from him. He looks insane, mad enough to kill.

I awake to a knock at the door. Thomas is leaning against the door jamb and looking like he hasn’t slept at all last night.

“I got you the job,” he gasps out, his face hopeful, but there is a shadow of something much darker. But that doesn’t matter right now, I got the job! For a moment I stand frozen, then I throw my arms around his neck, crying.

Taken by surprise, Thomas raises his arms slowly to hug me back. After a moment, I land on my feet and release him, saying, “What would I do without you?” At my compliment his whole face darkens for an instant, not even long enough for me to be sure that it actually happened.

“Come on, let’s get you set up,” he says, and all my worries wash away.

The lab is big and bright, full of stainless steel and glass. All sorts of instruments occupy the large rooms that are connected by long fluorescent-lit hallways. As I settle into my desk and stare out the massive window at the city below me I wonder for the first time how Thomas got me this job, and why.

You’ll Walk into a Bar

You’re standing by a table in the corner of the room, nursing a cup of cider and trying not to stand out. People around you are talking and moving around and, in one instance, singing. You consider sitting down at the table, but the group already there would probably try to include you in conversation, so you don’t.

A huge guy winds over to the table. He catches your eye and smiles at you, then disappears suddenly from view. There’s a crashing sound and a muffled curse as the man hits the ground. Without thinking, you step forward to see if he’s okay.

He’s sitting on the floor, looking very sheepish.

“Are you alright?” you ask him, holding out a hand to help him up.

“Yeah, thanks,” he says. He takes your hand and pulls himself upright. “I’m Axel.”

“Greg,” you say. Axel’s eyes are deep brown, and there’s a small tattoo on his wrist. He looks behind him and frowns slightly at the table leg.

“That wasn’t very smooth,” he admits.

“I’ve seen smoother,” you agree. “Are you sure you’re alright? That sounded like a hard fall.”

Axel dismisses this with a wave of his hand. “I fall a lot. It wasn’t that bad. Nothing broken.”

“You spilled your drink,” you observe. “Can I buy you another one?” You aren’t sure exactly where this is coming from.

Axel’s face lights up. “I would love that.”

 

° ° °

 

You’ll walk into a bar. You’ll go up to the bartender and say, “I’d like a beer.”

The bartender will frown at you. “ID?”

You’ll smile nervously. “C’mon.”

She’ll roll her eyes, gesture at the door. You won’t move. “Out,” she’ll say. You’ll pretend not to hear her. She’ll beckon to the bouncer, expecting you to get the hint. You won’t. She’ll shrug. “Your choice, pal.” You’ll be escorted out of the bar.

You’ll struggle, but you’re only 5’4” and the bouncer, like most bouncers, is as tall as a mountain. So you’ll be lifted out and dropped on the curb. The bouncer, whose name is Axel, will sit down next to you, sigh, and drag a paw-like hand over his face.

“What the hell are you doing here, Greg?” he’ll ask.

You’ll shrug. “I’m getting a drink.”

“That’s not what it looked like.” You won’t say anything. He’ll wait, then shake his head at you. “I work at this bar. I work here.” He’ll rub at his forehead, sigh again. “You know I work here.”

You’ll carefully avoid his eyes, looking instead at your beat up pink Toms. But you’ll feel his irritation. He’ll exhale and push himself up. He’ll turn to go back into the bar.

“Axel,” you’ll say.

He’ll stop walking. “Greg. I need to get back to work.”

“I miss you.” You won’t mean to say it until you do.

“I know.” His voice will be soft, a gentle rumble and a gentle phrase. You’ll wait, hoping for something more, but instead the door of the bar will open, then swing shut.

After a moment, you’ll get up. You’ll push your bangs out of your eyes and take a deep breath. You won’t cry. You won’t. You’ll want to (you always want to), but you won’t.

You’ll feel trapped. You’ll want to claw your way out of the feeling, but you won’t be able to.

So you’ll walk. Quickly, arms wrapped around your torso like they’re holding you together.

You’ll walk down the sidewalk. Past the family owned shoe store that they’ll have converted into a Starbucks, past the swing set where you used to sit with pretty eyed boys and spill all your secrets for a kiss, past what feels like everything.

You’ll walk to the end of the street. And you’ll stop. And you’ll breathe. You won’t think about the dumbass thing you just did.

Once you feel like you can trust your mind and your legs, you’ll sit down on the curb. The tight feeling won’t be gone, but you’ll pretend that it is. Sometimes that works, and this will be one of those sometimes.

You’ll open your phone and tap out I’m sorry, then delete it before you can hit send. I’m sorry won’t fix how many times you’ll have shown up uninvited (unwanted) in his life. You’ll understand that.

 

° ° °

You blink.

“Greg? You alright?” Axel asks.

“Yeah…yeah,” you reply. You shake your head. It feels like cobwebs are draped over your thoughts. Axel still looks concerned. “I’m fine,” you add. “I just zoned out for a minute.”

“Yeah, you looked pretty out of it.” He takes a sip of his drink. “What were you thinking of?”

“The future, I guess,” you say.

Axel smiles. “The future, huh. What about it?”

You shrug. “Axel…” You stop. “I’ve got to go.”

“Oh, alright.” He looks puzzled, but he says nothing and stands up with you. “Here, I’ll give you my number.” He writes it down on a piece of newspaper and hands it to you. “Call me, okay?”

“I will.” You won’t.

You take one look back when you get to the door. Axel’s watching you, and you quickly push the door open and step outside.

It’s better this way. You understand that.

The Adventures of Stupid

Chapter 1

Hello, my name is Stupid. I need to find a key in a hhhiiilll (which means mountain). So I hired an assassin to kill a blimp man so I could use the blimp.

As I was flying, the assassin got on his own ship and tried to shoot the blimp with a bazooka. My blonde hair blackened as he scored a hit. I flung myself at the key of truth which would save us all.

I hit the spiky mountain and blood sprayed from my chest. I climbed and climbed until my vision blurred. My life…was…nearly over…but…I…must…get it!

All of a sudden I was healed and a large dragon stood before me.

“Hello, I am Frostbite of the six dragons, you have freed me. Free the rest of my kin with the next key on Mount Buttox,” boomed the dragon. Then it flew away.

I looked far into the distance and I saw a butt hhhiiilll. I ran down my hhhiilll and I saw the assassin with his red glowing eyes.

“I…I…I…w…wiill…k…k…killl!!!” muttered the assassin…

“W…well I’ll make sure you don’t!” I shouted as he charged at me.

“I HAVE THE KEY!” I shouted and the key turned into a shield. The assassin bounced back as he hit my shield.

“♈(aries)!!!” I said as I swung at him with my fist. KA-POW!!!! The assassin went flying away…
“Y…you…d…d…don’t know who raised you, do you…?”
“What are you saying!!?”
“I…I killed your m…mother…the dragon…AND I’M PROUD OF IT!!!”
Then he vanished…

Chapter 2

“WWWAAAHHH!!” I cried.

My mother was a dragon! Why did the assassin kill her? Why did the assassin like it!?! I thought. And what am I???

Then a thought occurred to me.

“I’M a DRAGONBORN!!!” I shouted, and all of a sudden I felt a little different, like I had scales…wait, I’m a dragonborn. Duh.

Anyway, I got to Mount Buttox and a giant bat loomed over me…and a butt killed the bat in two seconds as I drilled underground.

I found a strange man who said that he was “the doctor” and he also said that I needed to kill a…that was as far as he got, because all of a sudden he disappeared and I was alone in the gray, dark cave.

A strange voice floated around, saying “kkiiilll.” And then the world went dark.

Chapter 3

When I awoke I was in a dark, dark cave.

“Dddiiieee!!!!” I jumped out of the way but my leg was pierced by an arrow and it bled…a lot.

My attacker was a strange demon and he roared with fury at missing. It started stinging me on the neck, I thought I was done for, but then I saw a key!!!

I grabbed hold of it and I was healed again. With the last of my strength I thrust the keys at the creature and they turned into swords and it killed the demon.
”Looks like we’re safe.”

The Story of a Family

The lighthouse was located on the headland. Dagny trudged her way up the path, pulling her coat around her. In the fall, it was colder up here. The wind was sharper, but she didn’t care. Even though she could use a bike if she wished, the autumn foliage made the long trek worth it.

The waves battered the rocks at the bottom of the headland, tossing spray up fifteen feet or more. Buttercream, Dagny’s golden retriever, ran alongside her, her strong paws thudding on the ground. The leaves fluttered around them like forgotten thoughts.

The forest ended suddenly, revealing a clearing with the lighthouse at the end. Dagny ran the last few hundred meters and reached the top panting.

A few feet away from the lighthouse, there stood a house. Made of red bricks with white windows, it was the size of a cottage. It faced the sea.

Dagny opened the gray, wood door that was battered by years of wind and sea spray. There was a small kitchen to her left and the living room was to her right. A fire was burning in the fireplace and a pile of books laid in a corner. At the end of the entrance hallway was the door to the guest room.

She walked into the kitchen and started unloading her basket. Dagny’s sister Casey walked in, munching on an apple. She grinned when she saw her sister.

“How was town?” she asked. “How’s Mrs. Nelson? And Patty? How about Mr. Brown?”

Dagny laughed. “All fine,” she said, “there’s going to be an arts festival in a few weeks.” Casey nodded non-committally. “So…any messages?” Dagny asked.

“Not a word.” Casey threw away the apple core and wiped her hands on her jeans. “I sometimes feel like she’s never coming back.”

Dagny nodded. “I know. Believe me, I know.”

They stood in silence for a minute, then Casey sighed. “I’d better start dinner,” she said. Dagny nodded and joined Casey in the kitchen.

Rain started, pattering down on the roof, softly at first, then tumbling down. Lightning split the sky in a trident of light. Dagny could see the waves in the sea below tinged with white, churning in the storm.

Casey smiled as she passed by, walking to the sink to wash some onions for the salad. “Do you want to chop these?” she asked. Dagny nodded, grabbing the cutting board from the counter. Casey watched her, then asked, quietly, “How was Mrs. Morris?”

Dagny looked up. “She was okay. Nothing’s come for us.”

“She knows how important this is to us, right?”

Dagny nodded. “Yeah, she knows.”

“Peony will come back.” Casey’s voice was choked up, almost slurring the words. “You know that, right?”

Dagny nodded. “Yeah. I know.”

Casey shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes. “God, I miss her.”

“Me too.” Dagny put an arm around her sister’s shoulders. “Me too.”

Casey wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Sorry, Dag, I’ll stop.”

Dagny shook her head. “It’s okay. I miss her too.” She squeezed Casey’s shoulders. “Cry as much as you like.”

Casey smiled. “Maybe later. Now I have to make the salad.” Getting up, she headed to the stove. “You coming?”

Dagny nodded. “In a bit.” She went to her room. Picking up the framed photograph on her desk of her, Casey and Peony in front of the lighthouse, she smiled thoughtfully. They had gone there with a friend, Lizabeth. Lizabeth had taken the picture.

“Oh, Peony,” she muttered. “Come back.”

Sighing, Dagny put the photograph down and went to the kitchen to join Casey.

* * *

“Dagny.” Someone was shaking her. She groaned and turned over. “Dagny!” Casey’s voice, sharper than usual.

She opened her eyes. “What?”

“Guess who I just got a call from?”

“I dunno.” Dagny sighed. “Why did you wake me up, anyway?”

“Peony called! She’s coming in three days!” Casey shouted. “She’s coming back.” She paced the perimeter of the room, then returned to the bed.

“Come on!” she said. “Get up, already! She’s coming!”

Grumbling, Dagny swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “I’m up,” she said. “Is there breakfast?”

“Yeah, in the kitchen. But Dagny! She’s coming and ohmygodohmygod what are we going to do?!?”

“Casey. Calm down,” Dagny said evenly, on her way to the kitchen. “We’ll welcome her, throw a nice dinner, and then adjust to life with her around again. I mean, her room is untouched, so it should be relatively easy for her to readjust.”

“Oh, yeah, about that! She said that she was bringing a guest with her.”

“What?” Dagny whirled around. “What guest? Did she say how long they’re staying?”

Casey shrugged. “She just said a guest.”

Dagny spread cream cheese on a bagel. “Great. Now we have one more problem to worry about.” She shook her head. “Okay, we’ll give her guest the guest room.”

Casey nodded. “Do you think that she’s changed?” she asked after a moment.

“Changed?” asked Dagny.

“Like, she’s not so selfish anymore.”

“I don’t know, Casey. Maybe.”

“I wanted to travel as well!” Casey suddenly said. “We planned that whole trip for the three of us, for when Peony was a bit older. But she couldn’t wait, could she?” She crossed her arms angrily. “She could have taken us along.”

Dagny shook her head. She was remembering the day before Peony had left.

Dagny and Peony were sitting at the kitchen table. Casey was leaning against the counters, head in her hands. “I’m not a child!” Peony had shouted.

“I know,” Dagny had said. “But we think that we should hold off the trip for a few years. Just until you’re 27 or so.”

“Peony, everything we’re doing is for your benefit.” Casey’s voice had been tight, as if she was about to cry. “You could try to be a little grateful.”

“I want to see the world before I’m old!” Peony had gotten up, then, and slammed the door. The next morning, she had left after breakfast.

Casey’s voice snapped her out of her reverie. “I did want to see the world, you know.”

“Why didn’t we?” Dagny asked. “I mean, we’ve had a year. We could have gone so many places in that time.”

“But it wouldn’t be the same,” Casey muttered. “Not without Peony.”

* * *

The bell rang. Dagny stopped setting the table, and hurried to answer it. When she flung open the door, Peony’s face greeted her.

“Dagny. Hi,” she said. “It’s so good to see you again.”

Dagny swooped in for a hug. “It’s great to see you, too,” she said.

“This is Annie,” said Peony after a moment. “She’s my friend.”

Dagny looked up. Annie was tall, with black shaggy hair to her shoulders. She wore a leather jacket and jeans. Her right ear had two piercings in it. She stuck out a hand to Dagny and smiled. “Hi. Peony’s told me all about you.”

“Really?” asked Dagny.

Annie nodded. “Yes. And thank you so much for letting me stay here for a bit.”

“Yeah, about that. How long were you planning to stay for?”

Annie grinned. “Three nights. Then I’ll go to Massachusetts to see my family.”

“Oh. Okay.” Dagny smiled. “Let me help with your bags.”

Casey emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. Smiling at them, she hugged Peony somewhat stiffly. “It’s good to see you back!” she said.

Peony laughed and introduced Annie. Casey shook hands with her, and then turned to Dagny. “Anyway. I have to go make sure that our dinner doesn’t burn,” she said. “Are you going to take them to their rooms, Dagny?”

Nodding, Dagny picked up the duffel bag and led the way to the guest room.

“You’ll be sleeping here,” she said to Annie. “If you need anything, please ask Casey or me.”

“Or me!” said Peony.

Annie nodded. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m sure it’s very comfortable.”

Peony walked up to her room, Dagny helping her with her suitcase on the stairs. “So,” she asked, “Did you miss me?”

Dagny sighed. “Yes. We did. But we were also wondering why you couldn’t bring us along while you pranced about the globe.”

“You wanted to go later!” Peony exclaimed. “You weren’t ready at that time.”

“Ready? Peony, I was ready since we had first had the idea,” Dagny said in a measured tone. “We just thought that you would be too young for such a trip.”

“But I wasn’t!” Peony shouted. “I was the perfect age for traveling.”

“Were you really? Where did you meet Annie? And why didn’t you write after the first six months?”

“I met Annie in Paris. And besides, it’s not like you cared about my trip. That’s why I stopped writing.”

Dagny clenched her hands into fists, trying not to scream. “Peony. Casey and I cared very much. And we were always so happy whenever a postcard or email came. It made us feel like we were there, with you. When we got the postcard from Rome, we made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and Casey bought a CD of Tosca to play in the background. After dinner, we watched Roman Holiday. I mean, just two weeks ago, I asked Casey where she thought you were, and when you were coming back. She didn’t know, but she said that she missed you very much.”

Peony was silent for a moment. Then she said, very quietly, “India.”

“What?” asked Dagny, confused.

“We were in India at that time. It was really beautiful, you would have loved it,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Dagny opened her mouth to speak, but Peony shushed her. “I’m sorry for not taking you along. You’re right, you deserved it. And I hope that next time, we can go all together.” She rummaged around in her suitcase, then took out two packages wrapped in paper. “This is for you,” she said. “Open it.”

Dagny slowly tore the paper, then cut the tape of the bubble wrap. The present was heavy in her hand.

It was a gray stone, polished so that it had a shine to it. Carved on the surface were the words “family” and “love,” repeated over and over again.

“I got one for Casey, too,” said Peony. “I thought she might like it.”

Dagny hugged her sister tightly. “She’ll love it. Oh, Peony, how we’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too,” said Peony. “Very, very much.”

“You know,” said Dagny, after a moment. “Casey once told me that she’s always wanted to see the Hawaiian islands. Do you think a trip could be arranged?”

Peony nodded. “Oh, yes. Definitely. In fact, since her birthday’s in the fall, it will be off season, meaning that we won’t be bombarded by tourists. Oh, and there’s this great restaurant we discovered. We can take her there.”

Dagny smiled. “I think she would love that,” she said.

Casey called them to dinner. Dagny could see Peony shrink back.

“Do you think she’ll be upset when she sees me?” she asked.

Dagny smiled. “No. In fact, I think she will be very happy.”

“Casey,” she called. “Come up here. Your sister has returned.

Satires: A Collection of Current-Event Satires

A collection of current-event satires in the style of The Onion

 

Tragedy Strikes Cast of Finding Bigfoot, When They Actually Find Bigfoot

 

Tragedy struck the cast of Finding Bigfoot yesterday, as what was once a fabricated show preying upon the dementia of elderly conspiracy theorists quickly turned into an all-too-real nightmare, when in their fake search, they actually came across a Bigfoot-like creature. “We were behind the studio in the woods, where we film most of our scenes involving fake noises, when a large, humanoid shape emerged from the dark,” recalled cast-member, James Fay, struggling to hold back tears. “Then the thing lunged on us and proceeded to pounce to death the rest of the cast, and then just left.”

 

“Shock” and “terror” were words used to describe Tuesday’s incident, as the cryptid hominid was not only in fact proven to be real, but by matter of sheer chance, discovered on the very-show capitalizing on its unproven existence. Camera man, Mark Ryans, who narrowly escaped dismemberment from Bigfoot, said in a press conference that despite the show’s title, “I never signed up for this…I never thought we were actually going to find Bigfoot!” A visibly shaken Ryans added that, “I was hired under the pretense that I would be working for a show that peddled false science to the most vulnerable population demographics…not a legitimate pursuit of mythical beings with a murder streak!”

 

This incident has also put the rest of society in the awkward position of having hermetic, senile conspiracy theorists and impressionable 8-year-olds being able to say, “We were right all along…there is a Bigfoot!”

 

Alas, it was an all-too-familiar tale of a patently misleading reality TV show, through an event of bizarre serendipity, ironically falling victim to the very thing they originally falsified. In February of this year, The Discovery show, Ghost Hunters too fell victim to this increasingly common trend, when the show’s producer was inadvertently possessed by a demon.

 

As for one elderly fan, and self-anointed “Bigfoot expert,”: “I mean, they kinda had it coming…when you play with Bigfoot fire, you have to be prepared to get Bigfoot burned.”

 

Lobbyist Now A Regular at Senator’s Office

 

After visiting the office of Arkansas Senator, Tom Cotton (R-AS), six times last month, and leaving sizable donations in the undisclosable, dark-money, SUPER PAC, and…100% legal tip jar, Exxonmobil lobbyist John Richards has been upgraded from occasional customer who stops by when convenient, to a reliable regular.

 

Every lunch break, Richards can be counted on to order a hefty serving of fiscally irresponsible tax cuts, with a side of reduced labor requirements. “You got it,” Cotton replies, scribbling down his order on a yellow ticket to hand off to the chef. “Anything else we can do for you?,” Cotton cheerfully adds, before asking if he would like napkins with that.  “We make a mean comprehensive, multi-billion dollar subsidy program, too, you know.” While Richards usually demurs, he always promises to try it next time.

 

“He’s one of my best customers,” Cotton admitted.  “I don’t even need to ask for his order any more.” As Richards said, “It’s gotten to the point where I walk in and the industry-wide tax cuts and financially reckless corporate handouts are already waiting for me in a brown paper bag.”

 

Dr. Oz Recommends New “Stranded-at-Sea” Diet

 

Dr. Mehmet Oz, a decorated cardiothoracic surgeon known for his evidence-based medical advice and sustainable weight loss programs that don’t put emphasis on universally dubious and unregulated pills, has recommended a new strategy for those looking to drop a few in time for summer.

 

“I like to call it the ‘Stranded-at-Sea diet,” said Oz on his daytime show, noting that his nutritional innovation could revolutionize the way we lose weight. Over the course of the 65-day diet, one should consume a raw fish, preferably drenched in seawater, no more than once every three days; sardines, mackerel, and reedfish are all fair game, so long as they are not cooked, seasoned, or otherwise prepared to eliminate potentially lethal pathogens. “Mercury poisoning and intestinal infections are just more ways this diet helps you lose weight fast,” Oz said to his enthused crowd. While seaweed collected from the ocean’s surface also comprises a significant portion of the stranded-at-sea diet, according to Oz, “the bonus is that you can eat as much as you want.”

“No more late-night cravings,” as one fan of the show remarked. The key, though, is to limit water intake to about every four days. As Oz put, “with no taste, no texture, and no smell, water is really just empty calories.”

 

While side-effects include severe dehydration, vitamin deficiencies, and internal bleeding, Oz noted that eating like a cast-away on a liferaft is the only sure-fire way to lose weight fast. “There’s very strong evidence to support my claims…I mean, has anyone who has spent 65 days stranded at sea ever come back fatter than when they left?…I don’t think so.” Although Oz has faced criticism from fellow practitioners, studies have repeatedly shown that eating like a driftaway is positively correlated with weight loss. Whether it is the nutrient rich jellyfish or complete lack of requisite nutrition, one study published in Doctor Daily found that “in almost 80% of cases, the cast-away diet resulted in significant fat reduction.” While other diets focus solely on reducing fat, noted Oz, “my diet is the only holistic method that helps reduce not only fat composition, but muscle mass, brain tissue, cardiac organs, and liver function too.”

 

Following Baltimore Protests, Uncle More Racist Than Usual

 

Seemingly galvanized by Fox News’s coverage of the events, conservative Uncle, Rob Lance, who visits occasionally on holidays, seemed to be seriously intent on besting his own previous records for unbridled racist banter. “Normally”, said Vance’s brother, “he would drop a few ill-conceived, factually unsupported, poorly construed race-based generalizations at the dinner table, or maybe while playing golf.” But with recent protests across American cities suggesting that black individuals were not in fact completely subjugated at the hands of all white male hegemony, Vance began his day-long attempt to post record racial numbers. In a matter of hours, Vance progressed from a mere casual racist who blanketed his statements with such pleasantries like “I’m not racist…but” or “it just so happens” to dedicated hate-mongerer, as evidenced by his halftime decision to switch to the n-word of the hard “r” variety. As the night wore on, Vance covered the spectrum, with his uninformed diatribes ranging from “welfare queens” to those “gangsters with saggy pant.”

 

While no one who attended Saturday’s family reunion expected Vance to top his once unbeatable 1992 Los Angeles riot statistics, onlookers say he made a valiant attempt at dashing the dreams of a post-racial society.  While relatives noted that age had taken a toll on Vance’s ability to spew unjustified mistruths with intensity, Vance said that as long as he legitimized the concerns of those who rightfully believe that racism had not in fact been vanquished, “it was good enough for him.”

 

Crack Addiction Changes Middle Age Father For The Better

 

Susan Wallace, wife of 56-year-old accountant, David Wallace of Danbury, Connecticut, was surprised to learn last week that her husband had been abusing a form of powdered cocaine, a highly addictive substance banned in every state except Florida. Mr. Wallace, who was often described by family friends as a “dull log, slightly more awake than a comatose patient” never liked taking risks or acting spontaneously. Before his addiction, “he shopped from the eight-dollar bin at Kohl’s, drove a Nissan Altima, insisted on eating at Olive Garden, and got his hair done at Supercuts,” said Susan, struggling to hold back tears. Only just a couple weeks ago, “he would come home from work and drool as he listlessly watched Fox news,” David’s sister-in-law, Barbara added, noting just how much his addiction had changed him.

 

“Now, he’s an entirely different person,” Susan said.  “Crack has changed my husband from an apathetic accountant to a fun-loving, energetic, if occasionally delusional father.” While the jitters and occasional shivering were annoying at first, according to Barbara, “I’ll take addicted, erratic David, over that indifferent lump of tissue anyday.”

 

At press time, David was planning to purchase a motorcycle in order to jump the Housetonic River in mid-air.  When asked about his devilish antics, Susan grinned and said, “It feels like I finally have my husband back.”

 

Dev

Dev was relaxing in his bed at home watching his favorite movie, The Dukes Of Hazzard, for the umpteenth time when he heard his phone ring. The words he was about to hear would never leave him, for that moment was the first time that he experienced true worry. Fear, grief, heartbreak, surprise, and anger all rolled up into one gigantic ball that seemed to fall on his heart and remain there for a long time. He paused the movie and answered his phone, immediately sensing the anxiety on the other end of the phone.

“Dev, it’s Mrs. Kimthro. Valeria is in the hospital. We found her passed out on the floor in the bathroom. She’s very unstable. Valeria has been suffering from extreme bulimia, ever since…there are things she didn’t want you to know, but she needs you here now, regardless. We almost lost her. You should hurry.”

Those were the first words to throw his life upside down. He didn’t even have time to fully process what Valeria’s mother had said before he was already pulling on his shoes. His beloved girlfriend was in danger, and he needed to be there for her. A million questions were zooming through his brain, threatening to overflow. He raced downstairs, grabbed his coat hanging on a chair, snatched up his car keys, and was about to race out the door when he heard his mother call out to him.

“Dev, honey, where are you going? It’s late. You have school tomorrow,” his mom questioned.

“Mom, I don’t have time to explain, but Val is in the hospital and I need to be there,” Dev yelled as he slammed the door shut behind him.

Dev drove the 25 minutes to the hospital in a sweat, parked his car sloppily, and ran inside the huge, ominous brick building displaying faded welcome signs for visitors. On the inside, the hospital was completely different. What the outside lacked in beauty, the inside made up for in cheeriness and warmth. Potted plants, freshly cleaned floors, a faint smell of pie, and deep red and brown colors made the place feel strangely joyful. To the left of the entrance, was a tiny waiting room filled with melancholy patients and their loved ones. An elderly man sat alone, quietly wiping away tears dripping down his face. An obviously stressed middle-aged woman sat with a young girl — presumably her daughter, based on their similar facial features — who was vomiting into a plastic tub. The mother tenderly stroked her daughter’s hair as the girl’s body shook from weariness. Dev ran up to the sleek, wooden intake desk, then stopped for a minute to catch his breath.

“How can I help you today?” asked a friendly man behind the reception desk.

“Hi, I’m here to see Valeria Kimthro,” gasped an out of breath Dev.

“Ok. And who are you?” chirped the man.

“I’m her boyfriend,” Dev responded.

“I’m afraid that I can’t let you back there alone unless you’re a family member, or with one.”

Starting to panic, Dev pulled out his cell phone to call Mrs. Kimthro when suddenly he felt a shaky hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Dev. Glad you’re here,” said Mr. Kimthro as he embraced Dev. Then, turning to the receptionist, he said, “I’m Bo Kimthro, Valerie Kimthro’s father. This is Dev Rull, he’s with me.”

“Great, you can both head on back,” declared the man as he pushed a tiny button. Suddenly, two giant doors swung open, and Bo led Dev through them. The pair of men walked through the shiny, sterile hall together in silence. Dev couldn’t get to his girlfriend fast enough, yet at the same time wasn’t ready to face her in pain. Eventually, Bo came to a stop and opened a simple door the color of eggshell that held behind it a complex web of suffering. As he entered the room, Dev’s heart rate sped up, and his eyes immediately fell on the face of Valerie. A face that always lit up at his stupid jokes, and kissed him with love as powerful as a mountain. Valerie, had dreamt day and night of her future career as Vermont’s number one author. Her wild dream was to find an old, abandoned cabin in an isolated part of the woods that she would fix up herself and while away the years. She would go on lengthy, daily hikes where she would listen to the croaks of the frogs, foxes eerily screeching, and the rustle of the wind twirling through the sharp pine branches. Valerie: the most selfless, loving young woman ever to set foot on this Earth. Or, that’s how she’d been up until about a month ago; lately, she didn’t talk about her Vermont dream. She’d become reclusive, depressed, and quiet recently.

Now, he was looking at the ghost of that gorgeous girl. Her skin was terrifyingly pale, and her body looked fragile as a baby bird’s. Her electric blue eyes had lost their million-dollar twinkle. He’d been noticing a decline in her health, but now it seemed shockingly present. Dev went to Valerie’s bedside and leaned over her frail body.

“Hey, Val,” Dev croaked out.

“Hey,” Valerie whispered as a gust of a smile breezed across her face. Mr. and Mrs. Kimthro silently left the room, leaving the two teenagers alone. Dev gently pushed Valerie’s legs over and sat down on the tiny hospital bed. There was a loud squeak as his body eased onto the cot. As Dev sat next to her with an anxious look on his face, Valerie closed her eyes, wishing things could go back to normal, before the accident. What had she done? Had a group of deities sat down for lunch one day, and as a group decided to ruin Valeria Kimthro’s life? Had they laughed maniacally, and then talked about the newest episode of The Walking Dead? Valerie believed in the core of her being that she was stupid, ugly, fat, annoying and worthless. That’s what she told herself every time she forced herself to vomit. Her days revolved around sliding her fingers down her throat, feeling her muscles tense, and then the sensation of the vomit fighting upwards through her body to see the world at last. After a particularly large retch, maybe she’d be pretty again when she looked in the mirror. Possibly, the fat would’ve also slid off her body and into the toilet. However, when she gazed at her body, all she saw was a disgusting human who didn’t deserve anything. She could almost see him standing behind her; feel his calloused hands running up and down her body. A month ago, a tall, hairy, fat, bald and angry man had pulled her into his car – a huge white van – and kept her there for the majority of the day. She had screamed, cried, and fought all she could, but he beat the fight response out of her while screaming incredibly hurtful words into her ears such as “Ugly, stupid bitch” and “You’ll never be good enough.” Afterwards, he made her do things, sexual things, that she had never even heard of. For eight hours on a Friday, he explored every sexual option her body had to offer. “Work, Bitch, work. You don’t belong in this world. Go back to hell. You stupid bitch. You ugly bitch.” He repeated that line every time she started to sob again. She believed him.

Realizing she’d fallen into another one of her dream states of intense thought, Valerie opened her eyes to find tears sliding down Dev’s face. She slid her hand across the sheets and grasped his smooth hand. Startled by her sudden activity, he quickly wiped away his tears and leaned down towards her face. While gripping her hand, he leaned down and planted a peck onto her silky cheek. She closed her eyes, but the face of her rapist appeared, screaming at her. She blinked, and looked into the sweet, cocoa-brown eyes of Dev. People were constantly saying, “Oh, it’s only young love,” about their relationship, but Val knew that they were wrong. She knew that she and Dev’s love for each other was as strong as the gargantuan waves covered in salty foam that come crashing down on the Atlantic Ocean during a summer storm. Too weak to speak anymore, she closed her eyes and drifted off, knowing that she was now safe with Dev there by her side. He was here in this hospital for her and only her. As she fell asleep, she let that thought drill deep into her head, never to be uprooted by any abusive man ever again.

Noticing Valeria’s even breath and closed eyes, Dev leaned down and attempted to doze off next to her, but it felt like his thoughts were hosting a rave inside his head. Even after thousands of years of evolution, discovery and exploration, humans are still struggling with basic emotions. There will never be any clear path for misery, so all we can do is to keep loving those who are hurt.

 

The Afterlife

I didn’t expect death to feel like what it did. There was no welcoming light at the end of the tunnel that appears as a great spirit gently leads you by the hand to the other side. Angels didn’t take me in with open arms and shining smiles, ensuring that my stay in eternity would be comfortable. There was no place where all of my deceased loved ones stand at the pearly gates, floating on clouds and illuminated by a holy golden light.

The transition between the worlds of the living and the dead is not one’s life flashing before their eyes. I was expecting to see my childhood with my siblings, playing in the large backyard with our black lab and a hose. Our dad would already be working on the barbecue with a warm smile, as the role of both parents was hard to fulfill. Awkward braces, acne, chipping nail polish, badly-cut bangs, crushes on subpar hormonal middle school boys could’ve all very well been my last thought. I could’ve seen partying in short dresses and underage drinking, staying up late and desperately trying to type the last words of a paper due tomorrow, crying in bed, worried half to death about what the future could hold.

I should have seen myself through moving towns and switching schools countless times, each one less painful than the last. All my broken bones, every favorite song, every embarrassing moment, every mean thought, every friend I made and lost.

My soul could’ve been violently ripped from my body as it crossed over, leaving the past behind. Would I have seen my dying body from above, clawing at my solid presence, desperately hanging on to the last bit of my small existence?

Perhaps I could’ve drifted along the earth as a ghost, watching over my family and friends, wanting to reach out to them, but unable to make my presence known. I would likely haunt those who I had disliked in my mortal life, dropping items on their heads as they passed under me. They would probably get fed up with all the flickering lights and doors being slammed by an unknown force, and I would then be exorcised back to the realm of the dead.

I guess that’s where I am now, but it isn’t like I would’ve thought at all. It’s lonelier than I expected. I can’t see my relatives, I don’t know where they are. I want to find them, to call out to them, but I can’t.

The way I died could’ve been worse. Although I suppose I’ll never know how it feels to die in any other way. All I saw was more and more bright light as I felt myself slipping away from life, which was, to say the least, a bit cliche. The “go into the light” stereotype wasn’t totally wrong. But it was too sudden. I was too young, I didn’t say goodbye. That’s how concussions happen. I thought I was fine, and nothing went wrong for the longest time, but then I went to sleep one night and I never woke up.

I still feel asleep. Time passes so slowly, if at all. I can’t move. Or rather, I don’t have a body to manipulate.

I barely know how long it’s been since I’ve died. It’s too dark to see anything, although I’m sure there is nothing here to see. Light doesn’t exist anymore. Nothing does.

There are so many things I would’ve wished the afterlife to be, and this is not any of them. Maybe there is something else for those who lived their lives better, where they can live their lives in eternal happiness, although I doubt it. I wish that, if anything, I would’ve been sent to the Hell that people believe in. With fire and lava and never ending torture. Perhaps I would’ve prefered that, for at least I would be able to feel.

This seems worse. So, so much worse. I am nothing. Everything is nothing. Everything except my thoughts. My thoughts that pound their way through my no-longer-existing mind. I want them to stop, but they won’t. There’s nothing I can do with them except keep thinking. I would kill myself to get rid of them. But I am already dead.

As a child in church, I would wonder if the Heaven those men in the robes preached about was real. I would wonder if we really did live forever amongst the clouds and all our deceased loved ones. I would tug on my mom’s sleeve, questioning what Heaven was. She would usually answer with something along the lines of “Whatever you want it to be.” I wouldn’t question further. But it isn’t like that at all. When I died, I realized I would find out what really lied beyond our mortal lives. I did find out. It was nothing.

Zeroed Out

Behind me was chaos. I knew people were fretting and spinning and shrieking, but I stayed with my forehead pressed against the ice-cold window of the space station. I forced myself to watch the eerie white expand over the Earth as if the swirls encircling the planet thought they could conceal the rest of the universe from the obliterated sadness that was now left. I had assumed if we broke out into a nuclear war it would be more climactic –not that the government would just mandate reruns of the 1951 “Duck and Cover” and turn Bert the Turtle into bumper stickers and collectible figurines. Even as an astronomer, part of me had always expected comical red and orange flash explosions.

Caden slid next to me and pasted himself against the window as well. “People are zeroing out, Cressida.” He said it in his deep, quiet rumble, voicing my name with constancy that made me tingle.

I knew what he meant. People couldn’t bear the thought of being the abandoned remains of our world. Of sipping coffee on a spacecraft for years with nowhere to return to. They would move towards the hatch doors without their suits and leave the station, not caring to find out how much longer they could keep going. We were supposed to be strong and know that death was imminent, but many couldn’t bear it when it was slow and foreseen. They had reached their lowest point.

“Who?”

Caden looked at me with soft, glimmering eyes that wanted to shield me from any pain. He tucked a honey strand of hair that had escaped my braid behind my ear, letting his freezing fingers linger a moment on the nape of my neck. I could tell he had been working outside the craft. His breath was tangy, his hair smelled bitterly of diesel and thawed metal.  His dark skin glistened with sweat and his eyes were teary like mine.

“Most of Unit Nine,” he answered finally. He bit his lip as he did when he held his breath and turned his head left; scant hairs on top trailed a millisecond behind, standing straight, having been kissed by static electricity.

“What about Bec?”

“She’s fine.” He responded instantly, reflexively. Bec was my magnet. I couldn’t be without her. Him either.

I looked again at our miserable planet and was roughly grateful that they had made no effort to prepare us. I regarded the churning ashes and comatose atmosphere. It seemed inadequately serene. I was waiting for Earth to begin quivering and combusting and chortling and unleashing itself in a gleeful rage of lava and Hell. I was half-heartedly expecting an unveiling of Satan. Something entirely irrational and absurd that would just somehow make the collapse clear anyway.

Caden stepped closer to me. “I know it won’t help to hear this right now but—”

“I need to go keep people calm and check the supplies. I know.”

“I was going to say I love you, Cressida, but that’s true as well,” Caden whispered.

“I love you, too,” I said, squeezing his wrist lightly, looking at him with warmth. I couldn’t bear to wonder what would become of us now. The little girl inside me had been expecting a picturesque wedding. A white one, maybe, with Calla Lilies and Tulips and a triple-tier cake like they used to have hundreds of years ago. I looked down at my engagement ring, which was a laser-pointer ring used for giving presentations in the Space Lounge. Caden had proposed spontaneously. I knew he surprised himself just as much as he surprised me.

I swiveled around now, breathing in quickly, somehow feeling selfish as I did so, as if the oxygen supply was not unbounded, as if breathing took longer than it should. I headed to the storage room, hoping Bec would go there as well.

I felt awkward, like I had heavy weights in my hands but there was no mass inside of me, no tasks of obligation remaining. Like I was Phillippe Petit, 718 years in the future, walking from one Twin Tower to the other but realizing that the towers had crumbled below my feet as I walked. Yet I was still walking; walking across the sky with no tightrope. I felt guilty, as if I should throw myself into a gutter but that didn’t make sense at all. My body shivered, almost as if every part of me had realized that I was still standing. I could blink. I could lick my lips. I could feel sweat between my toes.

I heard the cacophony of footsteps and clicking heels and the whir of machines and fans. I took a sharp left, walking down the alabaster hallway. Empty offices, doors strewn open, and piles of devices being organized by apparatuses that could understand no difference in situation. I kept my feet moving, faster and faster, realizing that my life had been spent doing things of little importance.

I’d been here less than a year and the view from the gigantic windows to my right had always stolen my attention. But this time as I walked alongside the incredible sized sheets of insulated glass, I forced myself to look away – to not be deluded by my fried home planet. Even so, I pictured my little brother and parents rupturing into trillions of particles, whirling across crooked countries and sloshing seas. Lifted by the same wind currents that carried my favorite ice cream store sign and the tree at the end of our block that I always hated as a child. It would almost be easier to picture 37 billion dead bodies than picture none at all and just dust.

I punched in the nine-digit code for the storage room and stepped through the doors, which slid open instantaneously like it recognized the desperation and scarcity of time. The room was three stories high with outlandish tile work and drawer complexes. The white was overpowering. Flickers of green materialized from perfect retina circles on the faces of each capsule that was fully stocked and red emanated from each that was running low.

“Cressida.” I knew the voice was Bec’s before I even saw her. Voice recognition is so weird.

We ran at each other, sailing into each other’s arms.

She was a war veteran and I was her family and it was like she had been gone for five years. And I needed her to feel like I can breathe again.

We spoke at the same time. “—Are you okay? —” “—Yes—” “—Wait—“ “—Not really—” And it wasn’t weird because that’s how we were.

She pulled me after her as she slid over to the main monitor in the center of the room. It stood six feet tall, three millimeters thin, virtually invisible when not turned on.

“Ready?” I asked, though the question was mainly posed towards myself.

Bec turned the monitor on slowly, hesitating as if she were a kid playing with a light switch, trying to balance it between on and off.

I winced.

The power went on in seconds, showing the standing status of food supply. Three dimensional graphs and models were projected within an instant. The two of us raked through information until we got to the heart.

“Seven years, six months, twenty-three days.” My voice surprised myself.

“***.”

“Yeah.”

Bec studied me. I saw her lip quiver as she attempted speech. “Cressida. You should go somewhere. Take them to Neptune. Do something that hasn’t been done. There won’t be anyone to remember it, but at least it’ll be the last thing you remember.” She took a step toward me. Her voice resonated in the room, delicate and exposed.

“Neptune would take under five years.” It was my favorite planet.

“Do it, Cress. You and Caden could easily convince the team.” Caden could do it, I knew. He had a way with words.

“What about you?” My words tumbled out of my mouth and she hugged me and it felt like we were at a funeral with crystallized tears in our eyes that wouldn’t run.

“I’m jumping.” Her words were muffled by my hair but they hit with full tilt anyway.

A second slithered by slowly like a slug creeping across asphalt. We stood in a silence that was uneasy and unfamiliar. I saw us rocking back and forth on blue hover seats twenty years ago with sparkling eyes, laughing with vanilla blossom smiles like we never wanted to die.

“You’ve decided?” It felt like a bruised answer, something incomplete and lacking affection.

“I have,” she said. “I have, and it’s not because I don’t love you and you’re not enough. But you have to let me, because I can’t sit here with twiddling thumbs and fake smiles for seven years. I have to pay tribute.”

“People have paid tribute, Rebecca. Several people from your unit have already,” I said, letting desperation peek through my words.

“They did it because they were incapable of living like this. Please understand, I’m not zeroing out. I’m not weak, but I’m not strong like you are. I can’t live a finite life built on whim. I’m doing it because I can’t be bound by an obligation that doesn’t exist anymore, and I need to show myself that I’m human and I sympathize and I feel their loss and that we all do and I just have to do it. I have to be with them. You can keep going. You have a way of thinking that has astounded me since we were children and your life keeps plowing on and on and I need you to keep going and do what you’ve always wanted to do. Please understand.”

I did understand. Of course I did.

She took me, frozen, into her arms and told me she was leaving and that she loved me and told me to stay here, not to watch and not to say anything. She left me, arms pendent, facing the towering monitor in the center of the room, seeing the green and red flashes of the supply capsules in my peripheral.  I heard her heels clicking and the door hissing as it closed behind her. I felt time pulsing inside me and I didn’t know how long it was, but there was a ‘ting.’

I lifted my eyes to the monitor where the remaining time was displayed, wincing as I saw twenty-three days morph into forty-four. So that’s how much a life was worth. Twenty-one days.

I twisted down the alabaster hallways, passing the empty offices, stopping, this time, to look through the colossal glass windows into the black, watching the beauty of the trillions of dancing stars, somehow aching for the warmth of sunlight.

Campetition

Chapter 1: Camp

I opened my eyes. I was in some sort of toy room that preschoolers would use for fun. I looked around. Then, I saw something. I looked closely at it. It turned out to be a video game. It was what I had asked for my whole life. I walked towards it slowly. Odd, it seemed. The video game I wanted forever was sitting on a bookshelf. I reached for it and grabbed it. Suddenly, an alarm went off. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“What is it?” I heard a preschooler ask.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, child.” said a lady. “I’ll go check on it!” She busted down the door with a rake in her hand. I was nervous. The janitor busted through another door with a mop.

“Shame on you!” yelled the lady. “Stealing toys from little kids, you rotten thief! Attack!” Preschoolers swarmed into the room like bees. Then they charged at me. Let me tell you, it was not easy. I was in seventh grade, but there were about three hundred of them punching and kicking me. I felt like I was going to die. That woman was the criminal.

“That’s fifteen years in jail for you!” she said angrily. Then, I heard something. I couldn’t quite make it out. Then I heard music. It was this terrible song called “Chair.” I closed my eyes. Then opened them again. I was in my bed and my alarm clock was flashing 8:30.

“Okay!” I yelled. “Who messed with my alarm clock?!”

My older brother David entered the room. “You better get up or you’ll be late for school again, Jake.”

I grumbled. Of course it was him. it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. There was one advantage, though. Today was the last day of school. I, however, was scared because we were getting our report cards back today. It was not the most fun thing in the world, or at least for some people.

Dad drove me to school. “Jake,” he said, “what are you planning to do this summer?”

“I’m making a list of thing I want to do. It’s not complete yet, but here’s the incomplete version: rock climbing, sky diving, jaywalking, bungee jumping, video game playing, food eating, soda drinking, more video game playing, swimming, shark taming, daring, rocket shooting, –”

“Or,” interrupted Dad, “you could go to camp.”

“Fire breathing,” I continued, “giant slaying, kidnapping, drunk driving, evil plotting, ninja slicing, window breaking, jaw slinging, decorating, ball playing, water fighting, vandalizing, computer hacking,–

“No.” said Dad. “I’m serious. I went to a camp called Camp Zelo. It’s named after Erik Zelo, the discoverer of the land. It’s been in their family for generations. It’s full of adventure and discovery and the family really liked me. I was one of the best campers and…you’re not even listening.”

“Modeling,” I said. “ Dabbling, more video game playing, garden destroying, rock throwing, door slamming, soccer playing, and that’s it. Happy?” I got out of the car and went to school. I got my report card sixth period. My grades were not bad, but they weren’t the highest in the class. My highest score was a 92% and my lowest was an 81%. There was this one girl who was really smart and got 100% in every subject. During lunch, I talked to my best friend Toko.

“What are you doing this summer?” asked Toko. “I’m going to a camp called Camp Zelo. I’ve been going there for about five years now.”

“No, wait, really?”

“Yeah. Five years. It’s really fun.”

“Well,” I said. “my list is quite long and I haven’t yet finished it.” My day didn’t get any better after I went home. Dad signed me up for camp.

“Hey, sport.” said Dad. He sounded extra cheerful. Anytime my dad sounded cheerful, you knew he was planning something. “You excited for camp on Monday?” I froze. He signed me up for camp.

“Yeah.” said my dad. “I signed you up for Camp Zelo.” My whole summer was ruined. This meant that on Monday, I had to go to some stupid camp. No jaywalking. No skydiving. No vandalizing.

“You what!?” I almost yelled.

“It’s fine,” Dad said. “You know, I’ll go with you. We’ll have a great time. Go hiking, roast some marshmallows, tell scary stories, play games, swim, climb trees…”

Hiking, swimming? What about jaywalking and giant slaying? What about fire breathing, what about skydiving? I was ready to throw Dad’s computer out the window.

“You sent Jake to camp?” asked my mom. “Why? Why would you do that? Jake just wants to stay home and hang out with his friends and play video games. Why can’t you just let him enjoy his summer?”

“Because,” said my dad. He always, always answered a question with a ‘because’ and said something that would start a fight. “He needs to learn responsibility. When he comes home, he’ll be a man. He’ll know how to tie knots, swim, pitch up tents, and survive in the wilderness. Plus, I’ll go with him. It’ll just be us, and the rest of the camp on an adventure. No TV, no video games.”

I went outside to enjoy two days of summer before going to that awful camp.

Chapter 2: Zelo Time

 

Believe it or not, Dad actually won that argument and convinced my mom to send me to this dumb place. We drove to camp on Monday morning with a whole bunch of lame camping stuff. It took a whole hour to get there. My dad had his stupid radio on the whole time.

“You know, son, Christopher Zelo was my best friend every single summer. His dad was the leader of the camp, and now it’s being passed down to him. How awesome is that?”

“Whatever.” I sighed, looking out the window. My dad was not like the others– he was a bit embarrassing to be around. Suddenly, I passed what I thought was the campground.

“ Dad?” I asked. “Is that the campground? It’s so awesome! It has a beach, and a free snack bar, and a dinner spot, and a recliner, and an entire lake. Wow.”

“Of course not.” said Dad. “Where you’re going is way better. That’s Camp Awesomeness. The lame camp.” We finally arrived at camp.

We first unpacked and then went to our camp spot. I was in the older group because I was in eighth grade. Dad took me to my camp director and got me to my group.

“Hey, Will.” said Christopher. “How’s the family? It’s good to see you again. You wanna sign up your son?” I immediately knew that they really had a lot in common. Dad spent fifteen minutes chatting up with him before they got serious again. Then, they spent another fifteen minutes doing form stuff.

“Spot 7,” said Christopher.  We walked all the way over there. It took ten minutes. After that, we set up our tent. It took twenty minutes to set up the tent, and then we met each other.

“Hey.” said a guy. “Can you pass me that wrench?” I saw a toolbox next to my foot.

“Sure.” I said. “But why do you need a wrench?” I gave him the wrench. The kid looked up.

“Hey,” he said. “I’ve never seen you here before. Are you new here?” I saw he was using the wrench to tighten a bolt.

“Uh, yeah.” I said nervously. “I’ve never been to this place before and my dad said this was Camp Zelo.”

“Well, you’re right about that.” he said. “My name is Gale Zelo. My dad’s the camp  director. Let me introduce you to the gang. Apparently, I’m their leader. No counselors, just us. So, over there is Jack, Tom and Pom are right over here, and there’s Steeler, Josh, Kate, Larry, that’s Girl, Gabby, Zipline, Yoko, Hags, and over there is Millie. I think she likes me.”

“Okay, okay.” I said. “I’m Jake, and that’s my dad over there. Your dad obviously knows him. So what do we do here?

“Sadly, my dad says that we don’t have enough money to do all that stuff we did last year.” Gale said. “Last year, we entered something called the Campetition. We haven’t actually qualified for a spot in the Campetition this year, but it was one heck of a ride.”

“Okaaaayyyy…” I said slowly. “I’m going to find my dad now because I didn’t even have breakfast yet.”

I walked over to my tent and found my dad.

“Dad?” I asked. “Can I have my breakfast now?”

“Uh…” mumbled Dad.

“You ate my breakfast!?” I shot.

“Sorry.” said Dad. “Mom ate my breakfast this morning. I was hungry. I had to eat something.” I knew this was not true because there were two bags sticking out of the bag with both of our eaten breakfasts in there.

“You’re lame,” I said. “Now can I have my 3DS?”

“Sorry,” said Dad. “Christopher took it because he has a strict rule about electronics on campgrounds. So he’ll be keeping it for the rest of the summer.” This was not going to be fun.

Of course, it wasn’t. Camp today was awful for the first half of the day. We went hiking, ziplining…all that lame stuff. Until lunch, I didn’t have a bite to eat. Without my 3DS, my life was completely over. So I decided to sneak into the main house and take it back. The problem was, I didn’t have one clue where it was. I searched for fifteen minutes and then I saw it. The Main House was atop a few steps. I walked up them and opened the door. Luckily, nobody noticed me. They were busy discussing this lame problem.

“Apparently, we owe about $100,000 in debt to some lame studying camp where all you do is math and boring stuff.” said Christopher. “It says that if we don’t pay by the end of the summer, they will take our camp away!” I saw my 3DS next to the camp director. I really hated that guy.

“What is going on here?” asked his wife. “They don’t own us!” I suddenly came up with a brilliant plan.

“Apparently, they do,” said Christopher. I burst in.

“Hey,” I said. “Where is the bathroom? I really have to go.” They were quick to answer that one because they probably knew I was here for another reason.

“Uh, there’s a Porta-Potty near every group site,” said another counselor. “Now scram, kid!” I quickly fled the scene, scared and with anger of failing. I could still hear what they were saying about their stupid debt.

“How do we pull a $100,000 move off this time, Chrisie?” said Gale. “Let me guess, we can enter the Campetition again. The first match starts this Friday night. If you can sign us up tonight, we’re all set to go.”

I did not like that idea. I heard that we lost the first match every single time. I returned to lunch with the bad news.

“Bad news, guys,” I said. “We’re entering this Campetition thing. Also, I failed to get my 3DS back.” Everyone cheered.

 

Chapter 3: A Spark of Luck

 

To make a long story short, Christopher Zelo signed us up for the Campetiton. We lacked skill, preparation,  and many other things. We were playing a pretty decent camp in a relay race. It was a long one too.

“Okay.” said Gale. “I’ll go last. Who wants to go first?”

“I will.” said Yoko. “It’s not a bad start-off, is it?”

“Okay,” said the Ref. “First competitors to the starting line. 3, 2, 1, GO!” Yoko and the other first competitor dashed along the obstacle course. I had to admit, I was pretty impressed with how he was handling all of this. He had dodged every single hurdle and started taking the lead. He slid under a few hurdles and grabbed hold of a rope vine hanging over a giant mud puddle. After reaching the halfway point, he turned around and made it back seconds before the other person. He tagged Zipline’s hand and he ran. Now, these guys were very average, no offense, but before I knew it, it was my turn. I was the second to last one, but they were already on their last. Hags tagged my hand and I was off!

“Okay.” I said. “This is it!” Suddenly, I hit a hurdle and fell down. The last guy zipped past me.

“Get up!” said Christopher. I slowly used the hurdle to stand. After that, I wasn’t very fast with the hurdles. I was cautious but inept with fear. Then came the mud rope. I stopped to get a good jump. Then I tried to grab the rope, but missed and fell in the mud. It was quick mud to be exact. I tried to get out.

“Come on!” yelled Gabby. “Don’t you have the strength to get out of mud?”

“No,” I said. “I can’t even do a pull up.” But I was able to save myself from possible death! I grabbed onto a rock sticking out of the ground and hauled myself up. It took every single ounce of muscle to do that. I crawled out of the quick mud and somehow stood up. It was  painful. I was able to trudge on, and crawled under a few hurdles and found my way to the halfway point. The problem was that the other guy was very close to home. I turned around and got up. I took five seconds to heal and then crawled under the hurdles again. This time, I actually managed to grab the rope dangling over the mud. I tried to swing back and forth, but it was useless. I jumped off of the rope and hit solid ground. I picked myself up and ran, only to hit a hurdle. Then, I heard cheering.

“Camp Awesome wins!” said the announcer. “This means that they get to go to the second round!” With sadness, I crawled back to the starting line.

“Did we win?” I asked sarcastically.

“Attention, all audiences!” said the announcer. “There have been some changes to the score! Camp Awesome has been disqualified. They were caught shooting rocks at Camp Zelo.”

Everyone but me cheered. I was bruised. We may have gotten off easily this time, but it will never happen again. Luck is never something that you can count on for long.

 

Star Bright

Star Bright by Anna McNulty

            My room is shrinking. My walls are covered in old photos glued to the paint. The photos are fading and wrinkling, and I have no new family photos to replace them. It’s going to be two years on Friday, two years since life released my mom into the heavens. She fought and began her own quiet war, but the medications failed on her and us. All of us.  But, family therapy has helped. I tell my therapist, this lovely lady named Patrice, everything. I’m made of laughter and tears, joy and pain, but pain doesn’t have to be part of me forever. I can set it free.

            My mom told me when she was sick that I needed to move on and Dad and Franki had to, as well.

            Before she slipped away, she said, “I’ll always love you guys, and I wish I could be here and watch you all grow, but life is ready to take me away too soon. I’ll always be watching down on you. James, you were my first real love and you always will be. Franki and Stella, I’ll be there for your graduations, your weddings, your baby showers, wherever life leads you. I’ll always be there, waiting and watching.” Then she kissed us all on the forehead and her hands went cold. Her bed of tubes and wires fell asleep forever.

            I walk on Column Avenue, the main street in Beaver Creek. After therapy, I take the shuttle home and run inside past my red door, covered in snow, and into our navy blue house that sits on a hill.

            “Hey, Stell, how was it?”

            “The usual, fine. Kinda borin’,” I say in a hurry, grabbing my gloves. “I’m going to the woods.”

            “Why? It’s freezing, and anyways, the Reynolds are coming over tonight.”

            “You know, I always go to my fort in the woods. Just call me back when Jesse comes over.”

            I walk into the forest like I do whenever I need time to think.

The trees calm me and help lighten my day. The crisp whispers between the leaves, the calming laugh of the wind, and the echoes of the trees help me relax. I’ve only taken three people here, my sister, Dad and my best friend Mia. I only take people who understand me, and who I trust. I started building my little fort in the woods the day after my mom passed away, right before her funeral. I needed a place by myself where I could go and escape my haunting reality. My fort now has a mattress, tree lights, a little couch and a mini fridge. It’s in a tent, and I put it right where my mom used to take me at nights to watch the stars shine.  Once in a blue moon, we’d see stars fly across the banner of twilight.

            I lie on my mattress, and for once, I try to think about people other than my mom or Jesse, but I can’t. Jesse, my best guy friend and a good family friend, was the first person I called when my mom was diagnosed and the first one I told that my mom passed away. He’s not complicated like my friend Mia, he just gets me. I stop daydreaming and grab my jacket, the Colorado snow is caving into my tent.

            Someone knocks on the fort outside,

            “I’m coming, Dad!” I say as I zip open the door.

            I look outside. “Franki!” I scream as my older sister jumps in and hugs me. I hold her close as I start to cry with joy.

            “I didn’t think you would come back from college ’til March!” I burst out as my body shakes.

            “I’ve got so much to tell you. Does Dad know you are home yet?”

            “Of course, I wanted to surprise you!” She says as she kicks the snow in my face.

            “Ohhh, Stell, the Reynolds are coming over tonight. That means Jesse, too!”

            “Shut up, Franki, you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone or make jokes, seriously. I haven’t even told Mia.”

            “I know, I know, I would never,” Franki says laughing at me.

            We open the door and Dad comes and hugs us both.

            “It’s been so lonely without you, Frank. We’ve missed you.”

            “Franki, please stay. I need you here for the rest of 8th grade.”

            “I can’t, Stella, I would love to, though.”

            The kitchen smells of chili and cocoa as the fireplace sparks, and jazz music plays through the speakers of our loft-like house.

            “The Reynolds are here,” I say as I wave at Jesse and his younger sister through the window.

            Franki winks at me, and I start to kick her, and Jesse runs in and starts hitting Franki. We and the Reynolds are like family, which in some ways is good, but it scares me in others.

            At the end of dinner, Jesse, Franki, and I walk outside and talk. We sit there ’til 11 o’clock, and then Franki leaves to go upstairs.

           “I know this is an important and hard week for you, Stella, but I want you to know I’m here for you, if you need anything.”

            “Thanks,” I say, holding back my tears.

            “Jesse,” I say choking up, “You were the first person I called when my mom died. I trust you with everything.”

            “I thought you called Mia first,” he said looking at me through his hazel eyes.

            “No,” I said my throat dry, “you.”

            “Don’t be scared to cry in front of me,” he says.

            ‘I’m an ugly crier,” I say, and we both laugh.

            My laugh becomes tears, and he gently puts my head on his shoulder as I cry. My sadness is only a dream with Jesse, as he holds my head and keeps me strong. We sit there on the steps of my house, as we watch the stars.

            “Look, a shooting star–Make a wish!” he says and points to a star that is flying through the night.

            “You’re crazy,” I say as I giggle and wipe my tears away on my sweater. I silently make a wish.

 

            Friday comes as I feared. I hoped it would never come, I hoped I could pause life or maybe fast forward past this day. But I can’t run away from reality, I have to face it. I don’t go to school today, and Franki is staying home ’til Sunday. I lug my body to her room and hurl myself onto her floral bed.

            “Two years,” I say under my breath.

             She looks up at me and then grabs me close.

             “Mom would have loved to see the little woman you’ve become. She was so strong and did everything to put others before herself, just like you, Stell.”

            We lie together on her bed in silence as Dad walks in. He lies down with us as we stare at the walls as a family. Yes, we are an injured family, full of confusion and pain, who love each other more than words. “We love you, Mommy,” I say.

            “Mom didn’t want us to suffer because of her. She told us not to stick to her, but for us to live on and move on with her in our hearts,” Dad says, trying to lift our spirits and convince himself.

            “You’re right, Dad, let’s make some breakfast.” Franki says.

            We make Mom’s famous pancakes as a family and light candles as snow whispers outside our windows. The day moves on slowly, as we mourn but try to move on from our solemnity. I go to my fort with Franki, and we sit and look through photos from when we were little. We share our favorite stories as we cuddle in blankets and pillows. Finally, we walk back home and sit with our dad. In the afternoon, the doorbell rings and Jesse stands there in his big jacket with flowers.

            ‘Hey, Mr. Milam,” Jesse says as he leans in and hugs my dad. “I’m so sorry.”

            “It’s so kind of you to stop by,” Dad says.

            “I brought you guys some flowers, and my family sends their wishes. Can I see Stella and Franki?”

            “Yeah, they’re upstairs,” Dad says.

            Jesse walks upstairs and comes into my room.

            ‘Hey,” he says and leans in and hugs me. “How are you doing?” he says.

            “I’m fine,” I say as I pull my long curly brown hair up.

            Franki comes in and hugs Jesse, and we share our favorite memories of our mom with Jesse. He sits there and listens like a good friend and doesn’t interrupt. When we break down in tears, he waits and calms us. Franki eventually leaves to call her best friend, and I think I should probably call Mia, but I wait.

            “You know, I’ve never taken you to my hiding place. Where I go to escape. I’ve only taken Mia, Franki and Dad, but I want you to come. I started building my fort the day after Mom passed away.”

            “I’d love to go, Stellie,”

            My eyes widen and almost smile; He’d never called me a nickname before. We walk through the snow and I tell him about my fort.

            “It’s the most important place to me, and I only take the people I trust.”

            “I’m honored,” he laughs as we walk on.

            When we enter the fort, Jesse freezes.

            “This is amazing, Stella. It’s magical.”

            “The first memory I had with my mom is right here, it’s where we would go to talk and watch the stars.”

            “Stella…” Jesse says struggling for words. “This is hard to say, but I’m going to try, so please listen. I’ll always be here for you to talk to, and I always want to be. You mean beyond the world to me and I want you to know that. You’ll always be my best friend.”

            I look at him startled.

            He grabs my hand, and it starts to snow.

            I hold on to his hand, as he protects me, and I place my head on his shoulder. The trees guard us. He gently stops walking and pulls me into him and kisses me. My body heats up, and I hold onto him closely.

            “Is that okay?” he says, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

            “I’ve always wanted you to,” I say and laugh.

            Out of the corner of my eye, I see a star fly by.  Finally, I’m set free as my mom lets me slip away.

Peaches

I was standing in the middle of the cafeteria, it felt as though there was water reaching over my head. It ran through me and rushed over my skin making me feel lifeless and invisible. I was gasping for air and being pushed down to the bottom with the pressure of the water, choking. “Jackie don’t be such a girl, it’s just a little prank” said Junior “are you tough or not”. I was snapped back into reality, the water drained and I realized that I was in need of a snap decision. We had run into the cafeteria and grabbed a peach fruit cup, Junior had gotten his group to play a prank on Mrs. Chutney and some how I was pushed into it too. I looked at the stained yellow walls and blue tables with small benches attached to them. I felt the walls slowly closing in on me, I don’t think I should do this,  I thought. A few minutes later I found myself standing around Mrs. Chutney’s chair pouring Missouri’s finest peach slices all over it. The room was silent other than the faint pouring of peach juice and the occasional plop of a peach. What are you doing, I thought, you let five no good kids pressure you into doing a horrible thing, what have I done. When the job was done I placed my hand on the chair and felt the seat, it was soaking wet and when I picked my hand up it was sticky and smelled like peach.  The room was overcome with the smell of peaches, the chair was wet and covered in mushy fruit, I was a trouble maker. All I could think about was the fate that I would sucome to if Mrs. Chutney found out what I had done. I stood up from my crouched position at the teachers desk and saw the giggling children, some of them were jumping out of their chairs and running around the classroom just thinking about Mrs. Chutney having peaches all over her bum.

Everyone sat down when Mrs. Chutney walked in, she stopped as she walked in and sniffed the air and she let herself smile at the lingering smell of the peaches. She wrote something on the board however before we could read it, she sat down. The kids began laughing when she turned white, as she stood up I immediately regretted what I had done. She turned around to look at her chair and we saw her soaking wet skirt covered in gross looking peach sauce, then she turned around we saw her face had turned from white to completely red. The oldest trick in the book had hit her the hardest. As she ran out of the room I buried my face in my hands. Then when the class turned silent I looked up, they were all looking at the board. I looked over at the large words in white chalk and immediately became largely puzzled. Mrs. Chutney was new, she had questioned the work we had done and the way we were taught, the boys who put me up to this dirty work were upset and ruthless towards anyone who questioned the ways they were used to, Mrs. Chutney was innocent… She was ready to apologize for her fault. I walked up to the board and ran my hands across the smooth black surface to see if it could be true. I ran back to my seat, my feet thumping against the floor with every step. I felt so diminutive… I tried to quell them but the hot tears that were building up came through and the lump in my throat made it hard to breath, I couldn’t live with myself. The fact that I had made someone feel so utterly terrible made me feel like a piece of rotten garbage.

I had never gotten in trouble before, I knew what Momma would do to me and how bad Papa would think of me. The second I heard Mrs. Chutney say my name of the people she wanted to see after class the next day I made a run for it. I jumped out of my chair and tried to squeeze myself through the crack in the window. I looked directly at the scratchy bush that awaited me when I fell, still I didn’t care. I was clawing at the rough bricks that left crathes all over my hands, just then a gust of wind flew my dress up and everyone in the class began to laugh at my underpants. Then I felt a tug at my ankles and someone’s sweaty hands pulled me in.

“Miss. Wilson thats not the way out. Please see me after class, same as the rest of you I called” she said. She had gotten everyone who was in the conspiracy. I groaned and sat back down not acknowledging the laughter and staring of all the kids who had just witnessed my attempt of escape.

After class Mrs. Chutney explained to us that she was not upset about our little stunt. She just merely wanted our help instead of calling our parents. In a nutshell we were sentenced to community service. She said that the next  day we would help load some scrap paper to a company that will use it for other goods. We all agreed thinking that it would be easy and that we got off easy. Boy were we wrong.

The next day we were pulled out of class to begin loading the paper. We walked down the hall thinking that we got to miss class and all we had to do was be outside and load paper, like a second recess time. When we got outside we were smacked in the face by our own dreams, we gaped at the giant stacks of paper that were standing in front of a small wagon labeled Waldoorf Paper. We lifted many stacks, five minutes in our hands were clammy and our muscles were sore. For the next few hours we both regretted our prank and forgot about it by having contests with who could hold the most paper and racing to get the next stack. The wagon workers laughed at us and our juvenile behavior. The boys yelled things at me like “come on Jackie carry more paper, don’t be such a girl”. And at that point I had had it. I put the stack I was holding on the truck and turned to face the five boys. I was infuriated at the trouble these boys had gotten me in.

“I AM A GIRL! I WON’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! YOU ARE THE REASON I’M IN THIS MESS! You’d better be glad I’m not smacking you upside the head. Now be quiet and don’t wrap me up in your dumb acts for attention ever again” I yelled. Once we had finished we walked back the the halls the boys jumping around and joking with each other about their strength, I however walked on the other side of the hallway with a giddy feeling in my stomach that came with the new found confidence that I got from standing up for myself. I walked down the hallway with confidence, I had stop the water from flowing and floated to the top breathing the fresh air and feeling like I had conquered the world.

The Subway

Donnie was surrounded by thousands of bodies, all moving toward the exit of the subway station. He was also blind. With only noise around him, the world black was black, unfeeling and unseeing.

Bang! Bang! Were those…gun shots?

“Help me! Please, someone get me out of here!”

He pleaded with the crowd from his post on a bench, waiting for his mom. But no one was listening; everyone was preoccupied with their own safety.

Suddenly, he felt something cold by his temple. He reached up to feel it. The cold, sleek metal, round, sometimes thin, was attached to a hand. It was a gun. Pointed at him. “Did’ya not hear me? I said put your hands up!”

But Donnie was lost in a trance.

Bang! He pulled the trigger. Donnie fell to the ground.

 

So today I posted a video on facebook that I was going to do something that most people would regret, but I would never think about regretting it. Last month I got my gun license; then I got a 44 magnum. I walked to the subway station after I posted the video.  I wore a big coat to hide my gun; I had previously loaded the gun at my apartment. If you want to know why I am doing this, it is because I am a nobody. No one cares about me. So I am doing this particular thing because I want to be known in the world. I want people to know my name.

I took out my gun that weighed 2 pounds and shot.

:One, two, this is almost over, come on Frank you can do this,” I thought.  

I saw this man asking for help stumbling around like he was blind. I went up to him and held the gun to his temple. I was afraid. I said hands up, but he didn’t do anything so I said,

“ Did you not hear me? I said hands up!”

Again nothing. So I shot him right in the head. I have heard on the news that most people that do this shoot themselves. And they become pretty famous so, I shot myself, with pride, and some dignity.

 

 

A Wonderful Happening

CHAPTER ONE: the truth

April 23, 2014

Mom is still in the hospital, Aunt Cathy took my notebook away and told me to keep my journal entries in here, on this laptop. she said if i have them on paper, they could be burnt and could disappear forever, but i’m pretty sure the same thing could happen on here, just a click of a button and everything is gone. but whatever makes her happy. she’s been really grumpy lately about taking care of me since Mom is in the hospital, it’s a bummer really, Mom’s been in the hospital for three months now, her cancer isn’t going away, or getting worse, either so thats good i guess. Aunt Cathy is calling me down for dinner, better not make her wait…..

– Desiree

 

 

I turned off the computer, watching the screen turn black.

“Desiree! Dinner is ready!” Aunt Cathy yelled from downstairs. I rolled my eye.

“Coming!!” I yelled back, slowly walking down the wooden stairs, the white carpet covering them felt soft under my bare feet. I stopped halfway down, staring at a picture of mom and Aunt Cathy when they were six, hugging each other in front of a crashing wave at the beach. Mom wore a small pink ruffled one-piece bathing suit, Aunt Cathy had the same one on in green. Mom had always been more of the tomboy of the two, Cathy always loved pink, fancy drinks, and clothes.

I sighed.

I began walking down the stairs again, turning down the hall and emerged into the kitchen. Cathy was sitting at the round black wooden table eating cooked salmon and carrots and rice.

I sat in the chair across from her.

The same dish was placed in front of me by Jess, Aunt Cathy’s stay-at-home maid. She had long curly brown hair with piercing blue eyes and freckles covering her nose. She smiled at me and laid a napkin on my lap. I nodded my thanks and picked up a scoop of rice with my fork and swallowed it.

“So, Desiree, how are you dear? You’ve been upstairs most of the time, clicking away at that computer, you know I’d rather you type your entries instead of write them, but-”

She took a big bite of salmon and chewed, holding up a finger, then swallowed and continued. “But, you also have to get a social life darling,” she said. I frowned.

I took another bite of my salmon. “Are you going to say anything?” she asked, a little annoyed. I shrugged.

“See? This is what I mean darling!” she said a little louder this time. She began a speech about how having a social life is important and how she wants to introduce me to some young girls my age. I ignored her, staring at my plate.

“My gosh child, speak!” she yelled this time, which got my attention. I looked up. she was glaring at me, her eyes filled with annoyance.

“I want to see my mom,” I whispered.

She stared at me, shocked. I was shocked too. I can’t believe that just came out of my mouth. I was never allowed to see her, the doctors wouldn’t allow it. Until four weeks ago, when he offered a chance to see her, I refused, afraid of what I would see after not seeing her for two months. But I guess i had enough of my Aunt Cathy, I guess I needed to get away from her, to see my mom, to be comforted with the sight of my mother. I felt like a lost puppy searching for its mother.

Aunt Cathy dropped her fork. She looked at her lap and wiped her hands on her napkin awkwardly.

“Umm..” she said, not looking up.

I noticed that Jess had stopped washing the dishes like she was frozen.

“What?” I asked a little worried but mostly angry. She has been wanting me to talk and now that I have, they give me nothing?!

“What!?” I asked again.

Aunt Cathy finally looked up as Jess came over and put a hand on my shoulder. She stared at me, I ignored her and looked at Cathy. She took a deep breath and let it out.

“Your mother, darling,” she said very softly, “she’s in a coma.” She winced as she said it, like someone was going to hit her for using that word.

My jaw dropped when I heard this. I felt tears welling up inside me, and Jess hugged me.

“I should’ve told you sooner, but i didn’t want to hurt you,” she whispered.

“How long?” I asked in a trance.

“What?”

“How long has she been in a coma?” I asked more clearly this time looking at her directly.

“Two weeks.”

“What?!” I stood up from my seat, the chair falling over.

“Oh!” cried Jess, stepping back from my sudden burst of anger.

“You kept this from me for two weeks?” I yelled, anger engulfing me in a cloud of rage. “How could you do this?!”

Aunt Cathy stood up. “I’m sorry bu-”

“No!” I yelled, my voice scratchy. I stopped, and turned away from her. I loosened my fists. “I still want to see her, we go tomorrow,” I said walking up the stairs. Before I started walking up, she said, “If that’s what makes you happy.”

I sighed, and ran up the stairs.

 

*         *          *          *          *

April 24, 2014

Aunt Cathy lied to me. i asked her last night if i could see mom, she told me she was in a coma. i have never felt this angry and sad before. i dont know what came over me, i yelled at her and Jess, now i regret it. i told them that we’re going to see my mom today, i’m not sure if i want to now though.

we are going to go see her at 12:00 right now it’s 11:43 so we’re going to leave soon.

i wonder what she’ll look like. what if she looks different? will she even look like herself? i dont know. guess that’s what life’s about. to discover things on your own.

— Desiree

 

I climbed into the car. Cathy was driving. Jess wanted to stay home, so it was just me and my aunt.

We drove for fifteen minutes. We passed a field of grass, in the distance I could see black and white cows and brown bulls grazing in the field. I rolled down the window to smell the countryside air. The smell of manure usually irritates Aunt Cathy, but today, she stayed silent and just kept driving.

We drove for ten more minutes until we drove back into another city. We drove up to a big white brick building. Many windows covered the building and in bright red lights, letters on the front read: “Nature’s Hospital.”

We parked in the parking lot and got out of the car.

The air in the building was very cold and stale, it smelled of plastic and medicine. People in white robes ran around with clipboards. I stayed close to Aunt Cathy as she checked us in to see Mom. A nurse wearing a purple shirt and pants came up to me. She too had a clipboard.

“Hi Desiree, follow me, and I’ll take you to your mom,” She said with a sympathetic smile. I followed her down a series of hallways, Aunt Cathy following close behind.

Coughing was all I heard. That and footsteps running around on the white tile floor. It was so shiny I could see my reflection.

She lead us to a door with a small window and a paper taped to it. I didn’t get to see what was on it before the nurse opened the door to let me in. Cathy stayed out with the nurse to talk about something with the door closed.

Now it was just me and my mom.

She was laying in a bed with rails on the side to keep her in. She had clear, wire-like things coming from her nose. Something was attached to her finger, with a wire attached to a big machine on the right side of her bed. It had a screen with a green line going up and down, beeping.

The heart monitor.

I forced my eyes to settle on my mom. She looked the same for the most part, just skinnier and a little more pale. She was dressed in a rough looking sheet-like dress. Her hair was pulled up in a bun. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing. She just looked like she was sleeping.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I sat next to her on a stool. I grabbed her hand, the one without the weird thing on it and grasped it tightly. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

After ten minutes, I couldn’t stand looking at her any more. I stood up, wiped my tears away, and opened the door. Aunt Cathy was standing right outside, waiting for her turn to see her sister. I let her in and closed the doors, leaving my aunt to see my mother.

 

CHAPTER TWO: Anne

April 28, 2014

it’s been four days since i saw Mom. i’ve decided i don’t like hospitals, at all. i haven’t really been socializing at all lately, even less than usual.

Aunt Cathy said she was going to introduce me to a girl my age. she didn’t tell me anything else really. she’s coming at two. which is nowish.

– Desiree

 

I heard a knock on the door. I walked down the stairs, stopped on the second to last step to see out the door.

Jess opened the door. At the angle I was watching at, I couldn’t see anything, so I didn’t know what she looked like. “Oh hello!” Jess said.

Jess turned and saw me. She motioned with her hand to come. I slowly took the last step down and walked to the door.

What I saw was not what I expected.

A girl, my age: thirteen. She had golden blonde hair and sharp green eyes. She had rosy cheeks and small purple glasses. she was wearing a purple ruffled shirt that matched her glasses and jeans. The only odd thing out about this girl, was that she was in a wheelchair.  A big wheelchair with handles on the back to push it around. Behind the chair was an aid. She was short and plump with a bandana and a thick sweatshirt.

“Desiree, this is Anne.” Jess said.

I smiled and gave a little wave. She smiled back. She had a big goofy smile with white teeth.

“Lunch is in an hour. I’ll call you when its ready.”

The aid left and so did Jess. They headed to the kitchen to cook.

“Hi!” Anne said happily. She acted as if she didn’t even notice that she was sitting in a wheelchair, forced to sit and stay put.

I smiled again.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” I gestured to the wheelchair.

“I was in a car crash,” she said. “I broke both my legs so badly they had to cut both off in order for me to survive. They replaced them with fake ones.”

“Wow,” I said, not sure what to say exactly.

“Yah, but please don’t treat me differently, I like to feel like a normal child, not a child that has no legs. Please.”

“Alright.”

Anne stayed for the rest of the day. She ate lunch and dinner with us. She was quite enjoyable to have around. She was happy and funny. I have never been one to make friends very easily, I’ve always been so shy around new people. But Anne was different. I felt like I could tell her anything, I knew I could trust her. I told her about mom and how I felt about living with my aunt. I even showed her my journal, the one on the computer since i still can’t find the original.

When she left I was so tired I could barely see where I was walking. Aunt Cathy helped me up the stairs and tucked me in.

That night I had a dream of Anne. I witnessed the car crash in my mind. I dreamt about my mother too. I woke in the middle of the night crying. I stared at the ceiling, tears falling down my cheeks. It was two before I finally fell asleep again.

 

CHAPTER THREE: journal entries

April 29, 2014

anne came over again today. we went in the backyard. we had a picnic on the grass. i had to help her out of the wheelchair with Aunt Cathy’s help. we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with tomatoes. we made lemonade from the lemons on our neighbor’s tree. i had to climb the fence in my backyard and reach over to grab them. it was really fun.

i also raced her on the street.she won. it was very sad. we also got ice cream. i wanted to punch the ice cream guy in the face. he looked at Anne like she was an ugly alien that came from another planet.

– Desiree

 

 

April 30, 2014

today i did nothing.

-Desiree

 

 

May 1, 2014

Anne went to a bakery and brought back a chocolate cake. it was really good. i feel like Anne is becoming my best friend now. i’ve never had a best friends before. so this is something new. i enjoy it.

-Desiree

 

 

May 4, 2014

I haven’t seen Anne for three days. i know it’s not much but i miss her.

– desiree

 

may 8, 2014

Anne called, she said she couldn’t make the picnic we planned today. now i’m getting a little worried.

-desiree

 

may 13, 2014

i went to see my mom again. she was getting better. at least that’s what the doctor said. but she still hasn’t woke up.

-desiree

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR: Why

I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes. I turned on my side, groaning. I heard some shuffling in the hallway. I kicked off the covers and slowly made my way out of bed.

I opened my door.

No one was out there, but Aunt Cathy’s door was opened a crack and I could hear muffled voices.

I tiptoed across the hall, resting my head near the door to hear what she was saying.

“I’m sorry. That is just so unfortunate…yes…my grandmother, and my sister…no…of  course…I’ll break the news to Desiree when she wakes up…all right…bye now.”

She hung up and I could hear her standing up. I tensed up as she opened the door. She gasped when she saw me. I could tell she was close to tears, I was too.

Whatever she was going to tell me, it had to be bad.

“Oh, Desiree. Come here, come here,” she said motioning me into the room.

We sat on the bed.

I stared at her, she stared at her lap. “Um, Anne’s mother called with some…news…” she said quietly. I moved closer. “The reason why Anne hasn’t come over, is that, um, she-”

“She what, Aunt Cathy?”

“Anne has been diagnosed with cancer. She is in the hospital right now, it’s really bad, Desiree, it’s not likely that she will survive.”

I stood there shocked. Sadness clouded my vision as tears started to fall. i curled up in Aunt Cathy’s lap, crying like a baby that tripped over his own feet. Aunt Cathy tried to comfort me. It didn’t work.

 

*          *          *          *          *          *

 

The next day, I was too sad to write in my journal, so I asked Jess for some chocolate ice cream and watched Spongebob (which I never do) the whole day. I cried and sighed, and watched and ate and slept and did nothing.

I sat on the couch, chewing on some licorice and covered in a soft pink fluffy blanket.

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. “Jess!” I yelled.

Jess hurried over and opened the door. She let in a tall woman with blonde hair and green eyes. She looked like Anne’s mother, which she was. She came over to me on the couch while Jess closed the door. She hugged me, I hugged her back and we cried. I barely knew this woman, but I felt like I had known her for years.

She pulled away and looked in my eyes. Sadness. That’s all I could see in her eyes.

“Desiree.” she whispered.

“Yes?”

“She’s gone.”

I started crying again. Anne had died. She was gone. I would never see her again…

 

CHAPTER FIVE: A MIRACLE AND A FUNERAL

Two days later, I was dressed in black. I wore a short loose black dress with black flats. My hair was braided down my chest.

We were driving in the car to the funeral. Her funeral.

We entered a parking lot of a church. It was Anne’s favorite place for picnic in the field in front of the church under a big cherry blossom tree.

Aunt Cathy, Jess, Anne’s aid, and Jill, Anne’s mom, and I were walking across the field to the big group of people surrounding Anne’s body.

When we reached it, I went straight to her. I leaned on the small stool and looked in. She was dressed and beautiful pink dress. Her hair was curled and her eyes were painted with eyeshadow. She would’ve hated that.

I held her hand and stayed there for a few second before standing up again and walking away.

 

*          *           *         *            *

I stood up at the podium. I stared down at my paper I had written.

“Anne was the best and only friend I have ever had. I don’t know who to react to her death. I was a wreck when she got cancer, but I enjoyed every second of my time with her…”

Two minutes later, I was done with my speech, and two hours later, we were heading to the car.

Aunt Cathy’s phone buzzed. she stopped and pulled it out of her pocket. Putting it up to her ear she said, “Hello…what!?” she asked excitedly. I moved closer to her, eager to find out what she had heard.

“This is wonderful! Thank you! We’ll be there as soon as possible!” She hung up and smiled. A big aggressive smile. “What?” I asked gloomily.

She hugged me. “She woke up. Desiree, your mother is alive.”

“What!?” I screamed and hugged Aunt Cathy tighter. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” I smiled so hard it hurt.

We jumped in the car, and Jess drove us to Mom’s hospital.

 

*        *        *        *        *        *        *

The hospital room was just as it was before. But it was different this time. The woman laying in the bed was now awake. She looked really tired, yet her eyes looked excited. When she saw us come in, she sat up in her bed.

I rushed over to her and gave her the biggest hug. She kissed my head and stroked my hair.

“It’s a miracle,” I said to her.

“You’re a miracle,” she whispered. “I love you darling,” she said.

Insecure Insecurities

She pranced around the living room in her new dress, a sparkle in her eye accompanying the glitter of the clothing. The dress was as pristine as a crisp winter wonderland. It would shine bright in the darkness and seemed as though it could light up the world with its bright personality. The blue seams were invisible as the dress flowed like silk while she was twirling it again and again and again. I envied her, clothed in that beautiful dress, the most beautiful dress I had ever seen.

I continued to sit and watch her, as there was nothing else I could possibly do. It would be rude to leave the crowded room, since my parents had planned endlessly for this New Year’s Party. Although I doubt anyone noticed me, anyway. As the loud voices enclosed me in silent thought, I stared out the window. The weak winter sun, a mere orange speck fighting to restore its power, began to go down behind the spider legs that were bare trees. I remembered where I had been this time yesterday, not caring about the long, cold, Aurora winters, celebrating the new year with my friends. Scratching at some dry paint on my arm, I mindlessly looked up from my thoughts about streamers and balloons to find my sister, still twirling and twirling and twirling again.

I reluctantly stood up as the guests continued to applaud my sister, her long blond hair trailing behind her, as swift and smooth as silk while she danced. I slowly migrated over to the plates of food, sneakily snatching some: crackers, adorable mini sandwiches, chips, salsa, olives, and more. Stuffing myself with food, I didn’t notice one of my parent’s friends coming up behind me. “Hello,” she said. I jumped in surprise and turned around, chewing like a chipmunk, my dark chocolate eyes barely visible through a mess of my short, straight brown hair.

“Hi,” I replied hesitantly, fully embarrassed while talking with my mouth full. There was a moment of silence while I managed to choke down the rest of the food.

“And who might you be?,” she asked with a tone of superiority. I felt that pang of frustration I often feel when my sister is recognized and praised for her many talents, while I am left behind like an old rotten banana, that wonderful bright yellow swallowed by a dark brown cloud.

“I’m Juliette, Leanne’s sister,” I answered as politely as I could.

“Oh, I didn’t know Leanne had a sister.” There it was again. I could just never understand how people didn’t notice me – I wasn’t invisible.

“Yup,” I answered, not sure what else to say.

“So, how old are you?” Her bright green pantsuit blinded me for a moment, as I had not noticed what she was wearing before. There was a moment of silence before I answered, as I was thinking deeply.

“I’m twelve, four years younger than Leanne,” I stared into her wrinkly face. This woman looked familiar. Where had I seen her before? My mind raced like a running horse.

“Interesting. You certainly are older than you look. Well, enjoy the party!” And she walked away. Just like that.

I woke to the sound of my sister’s name, tear stains on my blotchy face. It was my mother’s voice, yelling up to Leanne that it was time for dance class. I heard Leanne mutter something while she slid out of bed like the slug I sometimes see her as.

It was Saturday, the saturday after the first week of school after winter break. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in over a week, as the lady in the green pantsuit had slipped in and out of my nightmares since I met her. It was always the same dream— she held me by a thin thread that sprouted out of my head and held me painfully like a vulnerable doll, dangling me over an endless pit. Terrifying. Horrifying. Petrifying. Even when I awoke with a cold, white face, the fear never left me. I can still feel that pulsing blood, those cold, clammy hands, that layer of grime and sweat, that pounding head, that fear. I still just couldn’t seem to grasp who that lady was.

I lifelessly pushed myself down the stairs to find that there were not enough pancakes for me, that Leanne needed four to give her extra strength for her dance class. The usual: me living in Leanne’s shadow, making “sacrifices” for her success. As I pour myself a bowl of cereal and Leanne gobbles down her four pancakes, my mom talks to me before she takes Leanne to dance, which is a first.

“So, Juliette, I’ve been meaning to tell you did you meet a lady in a green pantsuit at the New Year’s Party? She was your old preschool teacher— and Leanne’s too. I was hoping you got the chance to talk to her.” Suddenly it all made sense. The lady in the green pantsuit WAS my preschool teacher. I remember her torturing me. She was the first person to give Leanne all the credit and leave me behind. I hate that woman.

Another week passed, full of constant thinking about the lady in the green pantsuit. Through my contemplation, my feelings about the lady did not change, however I had a new and reinforced strong hatred for one other person. Leanne. Even though there were other people to blame for the unfairness, it was not as if Leanne has ever tried to give me a chance in the spotlight— or even been sympathetic. She had just been rude to me like I was an annoying little mosquito, not even remotely important, my only contribution to the world being able to provide an irritating presence. And that time, I wasn’t going to let Leanne get away with her selfishness.

Once again I found myself sitting in the living room, watching Leanne show off one of her many talents. At that moment she was showing us her singing that she was preparing for an upcoming competition on Saturday. However, unlike many other times I had been sitting in this same spot, that would not end in silent tears and me playing sad songs on my clarinet, an instrument I had played since I was six. Until now, my clarinet had been my only outlet for frustration, but now I had another plan to finally release the anger that had been be boiling up inside of me.

As Leanne belted out the final word to her song and my parents started to applaud, I ran up to her and joined in the last few words. I sang loud. I sang as loud as my heart would let me, bursting with passion, letting my wonderful, strong, singing voice go, the voice that had been caged inside of me for twelve years. Those wonderful few moments, when Leanne’s voice melted away, it was just me. A spark ignited inside of me, something I hadn’t ever felt before. I heard fireworks, I felt fireworks, and I made fireworks. This time, they weren’t Leanne’s fireworks, they were mine. And that was the best feeling in the world.

Leanne gasped. My mother looked astounded with awe and my father was just sitting there seemingly paralyzed. I smiled at the amusing scene before me, and took a bow.

“Thank you, thank you,” I laughed. My parents applauded vigorously for me, just me. Leanne just stood where she was, continuing to look offended.

“WOW, Juliette, I can’t believe you would do that! Always trying to steal the spotlight…” Leanne suddenly burst out accusing me. I began to fume, angry as ever.

“WHAT? ME? I’M TRYING TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT FROM YOU? You are the one who always gets the credit, who always get the praise, and who always gets the applause! It’s not fair! I’M TALENTED TOO! DON’T YOU ALL SEE THAT?” I yelled.

“THAT’S NOT TRUE! Don’t you remember that time when…” Leanne trailed off, clearly at a loss for words.

“SEE?” I bellowed.

“Girls, girls enough. We both love you equally,” Mom tried to sympathize, but she was never good at sympathy and she never will be.

“You see, the thing is, a lot of the time it seems like that isn’t true,” I angrily stormed off to my room and slammed the door, hard, leaving my shocked family behind.

I entered my room strong and defiant, but by the time I reached by bed, I crumpled into tears. Sobs. All that anger and frustration I had built up inside of me just melted away, and a feeling of complete sadness and hopelessness took its place. I had tried many, many times, but it just has never worked.  Leanne always won, while I never could. I just didn’t know what to do anymore, I felt like a squashed flat cartoon character that couldn’t get up. I cried and cried, deeper and deeper into my pillow, feeling more and more pity for myself. It was as if I was drowning in a black hole, drowning, drowning, drowning…

After a few minutes of crying, I had to come up from my pillow for air. I turned on my back and looked up at my ceiling, at my room, at my life. The calm green walls and the fresh white ceiling, my pine wood desk, my creaking wood floor, my colorful carpets with neverending patterns and shapes, and my sliding glass and gold door leading to my vibrant closet. That was the only place where I had ever felt at home. No one bothered me. My room gave me a sense of sympathy no human had ever given me before. I suddenly felt very lonely, realizing that I didn’t really love anybody. I buried my face in my pillow once again and continued to sob.

About an hour later after I had been hearing hushed voices I could never seem to make out, Leanne knocked on my door. She had never done that before.

“Um, Juliette?” Leanne said unsurely.

“What?” My voice was muffled by my pillow.

“I uh, I wanted to say sorry.” That was a first.

“Continue,” I said, not trusting Leanne’s words. Leanne slowly opened the door and walked in hesitantly.

“I was thinking about what you said, and I realize that you’re right. I guess that I should give you more of a, uh, chance to shine,” Leanne admitted. I was both surprised and honored.

“Leanne, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Leanne smiled and walked over to my bed.

“I do love you, Juliette.”

“Then why don’t you ever say it? Or show it?”

“I don’t know, I just get so absorbed with being the center of attention…”

“I’ve noticed.” There was a moment of silence before Leanne spoke again.

“You know, we used to be really close when we were little.”

“Really? I never knew that.”

“It’s true. I’m going to try to take a step back now, I promise. I want to have what we used to have, and I want to you to remember it this time.”

“OK, I will try to.” I smiled. Leanne reached over and gave me a hug. I squeezed her tight, not wanting to let go of my new friend.

 

 

 

 

A Glowing Smile

I am a writer. I write all my stories in a small room in a 13 story building near the ocean. This room is my home. I share an apartment with other writers. We all live in one room of the apartment. I was lucky to get the nicest room. I have a desk where I do all my writing, a small bookshelf to keep all my books that I have written and a really small kitchen/eating area plus a bed. I love my home. I enjoy my writing time.

Every morning I go out to sit by the ocean in a small cafe called Blue Lavender with outdoor seating surrounded by trees and flowers. I always carry around my notebook for observations. Today I was more excited to go out than ever before. The cafe was holding its 10-year anniversary. They were giving out free samples of all their foods: pieces of cookies, muffins and brownies and they were also offering 60% off all their drinks. As I walked up to the line where one of the staff was giving out the samples, I noticed that he seemed to be very sad. A minute later it was my turn to try a sample. I was the last one in line. Luckily there was one left of each of the different samples–perfect just for me. I took them, thanked the sad man, then went over to the other side of the cafe where I bought myself a large cup of juice.

Years ago, when I was smaller, I asked my dad for a list of all the jobs that were out there for when I got older. I never had any idea what I wanted to be until recently, when I decided to become a writer since no jobs on my dad’s list seemed to make me happy. One night my father told me that I should choose a job that I really wanted, what I am interested in, or what I am good at doing. This has  been a very important lesson to me. I remember his advice for whenever it comes in handy.

As I was walking over to the door leading to the outside seating, I ran into the same sad man that I had taken my samples from. This time I had the to courage to ask him what was wrong. He brought me out to the outside seating area and he led me over to a table on the grass right by the water. The seagulls chirped in the background. I could hear the waves crash up against the land. It was my favorite place (aside from my room) in the whole world and where I like to spend my time. The man stared at me with his melancholic smile. Slowly, he started to talk to me in his unhappy voice.

He said slowly, “ You look like you’re a very smart young writer.” There was a long pause. The only noise was the chirping of seagulls and the crashing of waves. I looked up at the man who had seemed to be staring at me the whole time. His eyes looked angry but at the same time a sweet and innocent look was in them.

He said, “I need your advice,” then he stopped talking again. “ I absolutely don’t like this job at all. The boss seems to take control of me way too much.”

I thought about the first time I met the boss and how I was so impressed by how understanding and sweet he was that I actually went home and wrote a whole story about the kindest boss in the world.

“Well,” I said, “I think he is the nicest boss that I have ever met.”

The sad man looked me with anger. “I want the world to give me another job, a good job that will make me happy and will make me look good. Please give me some advice.”

“The world owes you nothing. The world is not a wish-granting factory,” I said, recalling the lines delivered in The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. “I have not the power nor ability to choose your job. You need to do what you wish to do as an occupation that will make you happy. You must follow your heart. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first, said Mark Twain. The world was here first before anyone else. Human life came after, so the world has nothing to give you. You can do the world favors but you can never expect something back. That’s the way it goes, so you can’t say the world owes you a living, because it doesn’t. You can give to it without expecting anything in return just to show you care. You need to work hard to get what you want, you can’t just expect it to happen . In your case, you should not rely on a company to give you a job. You need to work for it and get it on your own.” I did not know how I said that; it was like my dad was inside of me speaking all of his wise advice. Again was a large moment of expected silence.

“ I suppose you are right.” His sad face gleamed in the sunshine making it stand out above everything else. Then he walked away. He walked up to the door leading back inside where he stopped and waited, then he turned back and stared at me, the sad face still shining brightly in the sun.  He suddenly went from sad to happy and soon there was no longer a sad face, harmed and lonely. A smile had spread across his face which seemed to light up the whole world. He waved goodbye and walked in. In less than five seconds he came back outside, made sure that no one was looking, then blew me a kiss, and threw me a paper airplane and then left and I never saw him again. I picked up the airplane from where it landed and stuffed it in my pocket.

Later on, once I was home, I sat down on my bed, took a deep breath and opened the paper airplane. A little red heart came out and floated down onto my bed. I carefully unfolded the paper and read the following:

 

Dear Writer,

Thank you so much for your advice. I appreciate all your time you put into me. I will take into consideration what you said. Thanks again!

  Yours Truly,

        Bob Williams (staff at Blue Lavender)

 

I stared at the letter for a few minutes, then put it off to the side.

Three days later letter came for me in the mail. It said Bob Williams at the top. Clueless of how he got my address, I opened the letter.

 

Dear Writer,

Just to let you know I left my job at the cafe. It was a hard day, but resulted well. Now I am working as a designer for the newspaper. If you have any writing that you wish to publish you may contact me and I can get in touch with the editor easily. Thanks so much for all you have said to help me choose what my heart wants to do and what I really want to be deep, deep, deep down inside.

      Love,

           Bob Williams

P.S. I will send you a free copy of the newspaper each week.

 

I walked over to my desk, put the letter on top of my huge pile of papers and smiled a warm, glowing smile. I picked up my pen and began to write.

 

 

The End

 

Smudge of Me

Right then and there I wanted to take him by the hair and throttle him full force off that bridge. Wind would dance in his hair before grabbing mine and pulling it to my eyes. Oh the cries he’d gargle out. Oh the shouts I’d exclaim upon him.

“You idiot!” I’d shriek over the bridge’s rim. He’d fall mortified, but only after he’d get in on that last rattling laugh. Those numbers still nestled in his hands. Water upon friend, more like cement upon fire.

I flinched and snapped away those thoughts. The salty air stung and ate its way into my eyes. The moon was already too bright for them. I looked right at him. His blistered fingers wrapped themselves upon a slip of paper blotted with ink. Waves crashed against the bridge’s wavering bodice as my glazed eyes stared at his unnerving smile.

“I did for you pal.” He beamed. His sharp teeth, white like the moon, showed through.

“Bartholomew,” I wheezed, “Why?” My forehead creasing as my head made its way towards the sky, “Why?” Searching for an answer in the stars.

“Frederic, don’t worry, they’ll never find us out. You’ll win it. Just take it. Just follow me.”

But I didn’t. I just ran.

He didn’t even call after me.

Came back home empty handed, but the piano still hadn’t shed its last croak. Playing and playing and playing does the piano go. It all started weeks ago, when the new neighbors came in. Those nimble fingers jammed upon those keys, the sound muffled by the walls. It sounded like the hollering of a hostage with their mouth all crammed up in cloth. I stared at the walls, tickets, worn and new, had densely swarmed and glued their bodies to cold cement walls. All of them a fluorescent yellow already smudged with black. Failed numbers, failed doors, all closed. But their music, oh sweet music, played muffled and choked way in the back.

Found limp in a hotel room, Bartholomew smelled of cigarettes. Hours just before that, witnesses swore they heard gun shots crackle through the air. Even children are told not to pass around those plastic little bags Bartholomew! The piano stopped its playing because of you. Those fiery red cardinals kept singing through. Their voices shrilling high up in the stars, ignoring me and you.

He had already his will played out though. I got the numbers and his favorite ferocious Ferrari. It roared red like blood that stained his carpet.

“I didn’t see her, I swear” I muttered more to myself than near bystanders. A hit and run. The blood was hidden perfectly on the front. That didn’t fool not me, not them, not anyone. Rain started to hit the ground, tap dancing upon the smudge of me that they kept dancing upon. Is it all okay? If the drain just drains me all away?

I got the numbers. The trials next month.

It starts today. I stop in front of the glowing alabaster shop. I look at the numbers, piano keys frolicking in my head. Dancing and dancing do the drops of rain go. I look at the numbers, and back at the red stained sheet that you held so dear that night. I look at the numbers and realize that I won! Millions and millions and millions. The lottery you rigged all for me! For me God dammit, for me! I clasped my eyes shut till they burned. They wanted to rain about the smudge of me, finish off what the you had all started. I crumpled the numbers back in to my pocket. My eyes opened wide just to see them stare right back at me. All locked doors opened, with their music spilling out, drowning out my fears. In the midst of it all I failed to notice the moon, that was already too bright for my closing eyes. I had drowned in music.

This Is Where I Belong, In The Waves

Part 1: The First Wave

“The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport”

-Kelly Slater

I grew up in a small town in New Jersey on the beach. So, you can guess, I was gonna grow up to be “Daddy’s little surfer girl”. If you don’t know what I mean, then I will put it in a simpler way, I was going to be a surfer and there was no way of stopping it!

Every weekend was spent with my father watching surfing documentaries.

“The Endless Summer, Step Into Liquid…” my dad could list a whole bunch.

 

We mostly watched The Endless Summer. I loved it! Seeing the surfers ride these massive waves that towered over them. I was amazed by their courage and hypnotized as a child by how easy everyone made surfing look. The smooth curves of the board and the quick white wash of the wave. It was during those moments, when the white wash surrounded you, that you knew you had just had a great ride.

I started surfing at age three. I was maybe about two feet tall. I would climb onto my dad’s board that was 6 times my size and want to ride the mystifying waves of the great ocean. The first time I could actually surf was in Hawaii, the Big Island. A crowd had gathered on the beach to watch me and my little brother ride the tiny ripples of ocean that seemed like waves to me at the time.

“Yay!!!!” the crowd would yell and clap each time my brother and I reached the beach. My brother and I would have shining eyes and bright smiles as we rode up onto the sand.

“I was super excited, extremely proud and at the same time trying to take video and pictures while ‘enjoying’ the moment. It was great to see other tourists taking pictures of them as well and asking me ‘Are those your kids?’ and me proudly responding ‘Yes they are!!”

-Patricia Demas-Anderson (My mom)

This is what I like to call, “The first of many great waves”. It is the first wave you can remember that gives you the thrill of success, the relief that you made it through and the moment where you jump off your board into the ocean yelling “Yippeeee!!!”

 

Part 2: The Emotion and Experience

“The best surfer out there is the one having the most fun”

-Phil Edwards

With challenge comes fear, joy, courage and many more emotions that lead you to what you do on that wave that makes you think.

“What in the world was I thinking!” but, the greatest part is that there is no turning back because you feel the tipping of the board, you hear the rush of air in your ears, you smell and taste the salty ocean water being washed into your face and you see the exhilaration of speed underneath you and the feeling that comes after makes you forget the doubts and think of what is the next challenge you will take on.

That is what I feel on every wave along with every other surfer out in the water. It’s the ones who throw on a wet suit in the middle of February and paddle in the numbing water until their arms feel like noodles. Those are the surfers who are there to feel the emotion and enjoy the experience.

-Frosty Hesson surfing mavericks

“Winter surfing is when you stop trying to find yourself, and start creating yourself.  The water is cold, dark, and heavy.  The winter swell carries a powerful punch.  The crowd is always thin.  Paddling in to a great winter swell forces you to confront your fears, while in search of your joys, the reward being dignity.  I did this! There is something incredibly powerful, giving in to something bigger than yourself, Mother Nature, and coming closer to what makes you truly happy, as a result.  Surfing might hold the key to happiness.”

-Jeffrey Anderson (My dad)

“How I feel when I’m surfing has changed dramatically over the last few decades. When I was a young man, surfing was straight up fun. It was fun to go surfing with friends in Bay Head, at Jenks and in Mantoloking, it was fun to travel to exotic places like Central America and the South Pacific and it was fun just lounging around with friends on a summer evening talking about how much fun we had had surfing earlier that day.”

-Ty Torres

Each surfer feels a little bit different with each day but, my dad always likes to say,

“One good wave out of ten is much better than a bad day at work!”

No matter what, surfing brings a lot of emotion to most. And even though each way we feel might be a tiny bit different because that comes with each wave, we still all know that surfing is great. It is a trait that was born into our blood that we will never be able to remove, just to enjoy.

 

Part 3: The Challenge

“If you’re having a bad day, catch a wave”

-Frosty Hesson

With surfing comes troubles and challenges. We all have our falls and wipeouts but, there are other troubles that are on a surfers mind when he/she is out on the water. For one thing, I am constantly thinking about speed. If I had to choose one of the many challenges that comes with surfing, it would be speed.

Speed is very important when it comes to surfing. You need speed to slice through incoming waves to get past the break line. You need speed to pop up on your board so you can steer around other surfers and, actually surf! You can’t surf without being able to pop up and stand with speed underneath your feet. So many times I have had to ride to the beach on my belly of my board because I couldn’t pop up fast up enough.

“The hardest thing about surfing is learning to go, to push yourself over the ledge and just have at it.”

-Ty Torres

Of course other surfers have their own opinions of what is a challenge when it comes to surfing. I agree with many other surfers, there have been so many times where I panicked because I am about to send myself onto this huge wave but, you have to just let go. In order to learn how to surf, there are going to be those moments when you don’t want to ride the next level wave but, it is great if you do that because then, you can learn, and that is a challenge within itself.

“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.”

-Bodhi / Patrick Swayze

Fear is another huge challenge when you are trying to surf. There is the fear that you might wipeout. There is the fear that you might fail when you try to ride the next wave. And, depending on where you surf, there is the fear, not always present but always lurking, that you could get ripped to shreds by the huge jaws of sharks. When I am surfing I don’t think about these fears. If anything, I think about those fears when I am on the shore. As soon as I run and dive straight into the water, my mind gets cleared.

The last time I went surfing, I was sitting on the middle of my board, dipping my hands into the freezing ocean water. I turned to my dad, and said,

“This is where I belong, in the waves.”

 

“Surfing, alone among sports, generates laughter at its very suggestion, and this is because it turns not a skill into an art, but an inexplicable and useless urge into a vital way of life”

-Matt Warshaw

Soot

As Emily trudged to school, low grey clouds loomed overhead, a precise reflection of her sullen mood. Her backpack weighed heavy on her shoulders as her footsteps scuffed the slimy ground.  Looking down at her muddy, sandaled toes, she wondered if the backpack had been a splurge better suited to her feet.  The mud quickly dried and became unpleasantly hard, caking between her toenails and even fingernails as she tripped over a hidden rock.
At least this should be over by the end of this year, she thought grimly.  Her father said that she could work in the tobacco field with him once she finished tenth grade, and he would homeschool her.
On the other hand, I’m not looking forward to spending more of my time farming.
The few hours she spent a day helping her father in the fields were dull, though at least they weren’t as fraught with confusion and anxiety as her typical school day.
Arriving at school, Emily stepped over the threshold, painfully aware of the mud she was tracking across the linoleum floor.  She noted a new banner hanging across the doorway in bright colors.  The banner read something in Turkish.
Yedinçi Sinef Için Yeni Orğetmen
“Yedinçi Sinef”- That means seventh grade.  “Için” was “for”, and “yeni” was “new”.  The last word was lost on her.
“Or . . . orğet,” she breathed out, trying to fashion some kind of meaning out of the clunky sounds in her mouth.
“Move it,” a kid growled behind her in Turkish.  He was a Turk who had been born in Germany and moved here because of his parents, both of whom worked in the U.N.  They were nice enough; their kid wasn’t, still resentful about having to move to this cash-strapped place.
Emily quickly moved out of the way and muttered an insincere apology under her breath.

The bell rang, and Emily headed to her first class, where the teacher handed out a paper Emily could have sworn was meant to be gibberish and told them to write their name as the inspirational posters plastered over the peeling paint stared at her judgingly.  Simple enough, but Emily hated the task.
Grudgingly, Emily printed her name on the paper, wondering for not the first time why her parents had given her a Western name.  With her friends, she still stubbornly referred to herself with a Kurdish name.
 An American name won’t take away our poverty, so why bother?
She looked at the empty seats- two to her right, five in the front of the room, and four in the back,  Ten of the students in her class had dropped out of school to work.  The sixth had been kidnapped by the PKK, a radical Kurdish party.  Still safe, most likely, but Emily didn’t know for how much longer.
Looking around at the other five empty seats, Emily thought about how she’d be a member of that club in just a few months.  She was lucky, though: unlike the people in the five empty seats, she had a job she could go to, instead of trying to conjure one out of thin air.
She still wasn’t sure if farming was better than school.
Picking up her backpack for the next class, Emily went through the hallway, sticking close to the stone wall to avoid the jealous looks of the people who didn’t have predetermined jobs.  There were a lot.
In the next class, this one with a multitude of posters depicting each letter of the alphabet with a corresponding picture, Emily sat down next to her friend Aran, whose older brother also owned a tobacco farm.  The teacher began his daily mantra of  ¨In order to learn, you must speak Turkish fluently.¨
¨Yes,¨ murmured Emily to Aran in Kurdish, ¨Because it’s so easy to learn another language.¨
The teacher shot them a glare.
Aran giggled.
“You must pay attention to me,” began the teacher, cutting himself off when he realized Aran was giving him a questioning look.  “You must pay attention to to me!¨ he repeated, louder.
“I don’t get why he thinks that repeating the same thing louder is going to make us understand it,” remarked Aran.
“Because he’s a teacher,” replied Emily.  Which was true, in a sense.  All of the teachers in the school acted a lot like this one did.
On the way home, walking with Aran, Emily pondered possible responses for the teacher, until laughter formed inside both of them and bubbled out of their mouths, bubbles that burst as soon as they reached Emily’s home.
Most of the field was black and burnt, and, in the middle of it were the crumbling, sooty remains of her house.  A sharp scent of smoke filled the air.
Emily blinked, and blinked again.   As if the destruction in front of her was just a heat haze that would disappear if she wished hard enough.
She squeezed her eyes shut.  That’s not real.  That’s not real.  She opened her eyes,

A black chunk of the roof fell off
Where was her father?
Oh!  He was working in the fields.  That was it; he had to be. There was no way his body could lay in the middle of that wreck.
Next to her, Aran whimpered.  “What happened?”
“I don’t know.”  Her voice was strangely free of emotion.
For several minutes, they stood in silence, watching the place Emily had spent half her life crumble to dust.
Emily stepped into the field and headed straight for the house.
“Wait! The house isn’t safe anymore!”
“And?”
“You might get hurt,” said Aran, with an equally puzzled and concerned expression.
Emily stalked off without bothering to answer.   A section of the house fell to the ground right before her.  Emily simply trod over it and continued on.
The inside was new-moon dark. Emily made her way through the shadowed hallways to what was- well, used to be-  her room.  Almost all of her belongings had burned.  She picked up all that had survived; a small, battered doll.   It had black hair, burnt by the fire, and tan skin.  Her heart felt like it had been scooped out with a rusty spoon, leaving the remaining part to fester.  Emily backed out of the room.  The soot and ash was making it hard to breathe.   She was already taking ragged gasps.  The smell of charred wood and fabric clogged her nose.  She fled down the hallway.  Her sandaled feet scuffed on the ashen floor.
Suddenly, her toes struck some sort of obstacle, sending her sprawling.  Clumsily she got up, looked at what she had tripped over, and promptly screeched.  It was a corpse, almost burnt beyond recognition, but the battered rusted necklace chain sticking out of his pockets, her mother’s favorite piece of jewelry before she died, was more than enough for her to identify it as her father.
A mixture of emotions churned in her heart gathered and coalesced into a giant lump in her throat.  She lay across the body and hugged it, moisture forming in the corners of her eyes.  She didn’t bother to fight it.
After a period of time that could have been a few hours or a few heartbeats, Emily reluctantly got up.
A glimmer in the side of the hallway cut off her train of thought.  She picked the source of the glimmer up, inspecting it in the palm of her hand.  It was a small, indented device with fins at the end.  Slowly, she recognized as a piece of a cluster bomb-her father had taught her about those-that was specifically designed to start fires.
She turned the object in her hand, suddenly noticing some words printed on the sides.  PROPERTY OF THE TURKISH REPUBLIC, it said.  Emily clenched it in her hand.  She felt the fire that had burned her house and father sear in her heart, scorching away the grief and frustration, all the while burning across the red-hot coals of her anger.
Emily emerged from the once-house, blinking at her bright surroundings.
“Are . . . are you okay?”  Aran asked tentatively.   She stood halfway across the field, the burnt tobacco reaching halfway up to her knee.
Walking to meet Aran,  Emily handed her friend the bomblet.
“Oh.”
Emily left.  Her urge to do something, to hurt someone, was overwhelming.  She didn’t want to drag Aran into it and hurt her.
The mud squelched beneath her feet as she walked away.  She had no idea which direction she was going, nor did she care.    The mud eventually gave way to grass, then to hard dirt.  The sun was filtered out by the canopy overhead.  The ground was rocky, but it looked inviting; she had been walking for who knew how long.
No, I can’t think of sitting down.  I have to get revenge . . .
Somehow.
The bus arrived perhaps an hour before the moon was due to touch the horizon.  It was small, filled with an acrid scent of exhaust and covered in graffiti, just like its station.  The bus driver didn’t seem surprised that his only passenger that night was a child covered in dirt and carrying no luggage.  He just asked for his money- it turned out the bus was going to Erzincan, which, she remembered from her geography lessons, was a city on the way to Ankara.  She handed him his fee, fifteen lira, and sank down onto the torn upholstery, trying to ignore the parched feeling in her mouth and the growling in her stomach. She fell into a light sleep.
A few hours later, the sun’s bright rays woke her.  She tried to close her eyes, but even then her eyelids were filled with an unpleasant shining red.  So she grudgingly blinked them open, wiping away the goop.
The bus halted suddenly, lurching forward.
“Sorry!”  the bus driver called out from the front.
Looking around, Emily noticed several other people had joined the bus.  A man sitting behind her was holding his nose over some offensive smell.  Emily hoped it wasn’t her.
But when the bus came to a stop and she got out, Emily was forced outside her reveries.  She had six lira left, she realized.  That would barely cover water.  She wouldn’t have enough money for food. And transportation?  Forget it.
She noticed with interest how people passed the beggars on the sidewalk. They either plowed ahead, gaze fixed on the horizon, or slowed to barely a crawl, head bowed.  Either way, all of them pretended they didn’t see the beggars.  Perhaps they didn’t.  Perhaps they were so used to the sight of beggars that the ratty clothes became just another blot on the sidewalk, with only their subconcious registering the faintest amount of guilt.
 Still, though, the beggars had somehow accrued some money.  Emily responded to observance with disgust.  No way!  I’m not going to beg!
 You could always take their money.
At this statement, she could almost feel her body divide and fight within itself.  On the one hand, she really needed the money.  On the other hand, taking valuable objects from people who also really needed them was morally questionable, to say the least.
She still really needed the money.
So against her conscience’s objections, she waited until the dead of night, when her stomach was screaming with hunger, and quickly snatched up a small plastic cup filled with lira next to a person stretched out on the sidewalk.  Her heart was palpitating, though there was no one in sight.
I have to get out of this place.  Nothing was going to be open at this hour, anyway.  She would have to wait to buy food.  There was a city, Sivas, she remembered, on the way to Ankara.  She knew there would one station for buses going to Sivas in the cluster of stations in the center of the city.
The moon began to rise and, as the sky lightened as she waited at the bus station, Emily got more and more fidgety.  While she knew there was no way she could be recognized as the person who took the money, that didn’t stop her guilty conscience from forcing wild dreams of the person’s vengeance on her.
 Once the moon touched the horizon, Emily got up and began to pace back and forth.
 Please come now, please come now, please come now . . .
As the sun arrived and as Emily’s heart began to reach a record number of beats per minute over the imagined possibility of an omniscient angry homeless guy, a bus came.  The doors had barely opened when Emily ran onto it, bouncing on her heels and glancing around.  She had gotten halfway down the mostly empty bus before she remembered to give the driver his fee.  Guiltily, she dug into the cup, careful not to reveal it to anyone, and handed the driver his fee, ten lira again.
As she made her way down the bus aisle, she noticed several people wrinkling their noses.  This time, Emily didn’t bother to hope it wasn’t her.  She had been wearing the same battered clothes for two days now, through mangled buses and filth-covered alleys. Of course she would be the source of the smell.
As Emily sat down, the bus lurched forward.  Bile rose in her throat.  If only she’d had enough money to take the train.

It took three hours to get to Sivas.  Three horrendous hours.  Emily tried to sleep, but her body decided that the few hours of sleep yesterday were plenty..  So she was left staring at the blue-with-a-purple-floral design fabric of the seat in front of her, doing her best to not descend into grief or despair.  She couldn’t think about going home and hugging her dad, or even just sitting in her room.  Most of all, she couldn’t think about why she couldn’t do that.
 That worked about as well as you’d expect.
 Just a few minutes into the bus ride, her emotions were churning once again, both freezing and burning her heart, until Emily decided that the freezing was far too uncomfortable.  So she let the coals burn, and exited the bus with a scowl and a searing heart.
 Apparently, the city center wasn’t too far far, because even at her weak jog, she reached what appeared to be the main plaza in a few moments.  But while the plaza and the mosques around it were intricately designed and beautiful by anyone’s standards, they weren’t what caught Emily’s eye.
A bit farther down, past the mosques and commercial buildings, was a building that wasn’t much more than ash, a building that reminded Emily of the place she had spent her life.
Blinking, she forced away the memories and approached the building in an almost trance.
Emily shook her head.
Okay, what did that?  The damage looked like it had been caused by a giant version of an incendiary bomb.
 Approaching the building, Emily saw that there were men giving out pamphlets that she assumed told about what happened at this site.  She glanced longingly at them, knowing that she wouldn’t understand a good chunk of the pamphlets, and chose instead to eavesdrop on a nearby tour.
It took just a minute or two of listening for her to glean that the building had been burned down because one religious faction had disliked another religious faction that was performing in the building.
Do extremists have nothing better to do?
She turned on her heel to look for transportation to Ankara.

Something was tugging at her shirtsleeve.  It was annoying and insistent.  But Emily couldn’t be bothered to summon up the effort to turn around and look at the source.
 “Tired,”  she mumbled thickly.  The word was heavy in her mouth.  She vaguely remembered having stumbled into an alley in Ankara and falling into an exhausted sleep.
 The tugging continued.
 Grudgingly, Emily looked up.
 A man was towering over her.  His features were blurry, but slowly coming into focus.
 “Ma’am, I’d like you to come with me,” he said.

Emily’s eyes snapped open.  “Why?”  she asked defensively.
He stared at her.  Sunlight glinted off a gun he held in his holster.
Emily gulped and stood up.
“All right, I’ll come.”

Not like I have much choice, she thought, eyeing the gun warily and wondering what sort of place would require an armed escort.
The place she was being taken, unsurprisingly, proved to be as unpleasant as the escort, a building comprised of not much more than a large room full of beds and peeling green paint.  Most spots were occupied, marked by dirty grey blankets and a sour stench.  She was pushed by the guard to an empty bed in a corner.  Not knowing what else to do, Emily plopped down and waited.  No thoughts crossed her mind.  The guard left the room.
She sat for hours on the edge of the bed without thinking. Even when a man dropped a bag full of toiletries and clothing on her bed, she took no notice. The sun had started to set before a single thought appeared in her mind:  What am I doing here?
She had set out with the vague goal of revenge, but it had been well-fueled, and still was.  Emily scowled.
A small, rational voice in her head began to criticize Emily’s choice, but was quickly overridden by the wave of emotion that went They killed my family!
Cold seething anger was really good for plotting.
Emily began to consider her revenge.

She listed in her mind all the options she had to inflict the most possible harm before realizing that she had no weapons nor any idea how to get one.
Well, fists were good enough.
And she knew where she wanted to go: the main government building.
The only trouble left was trying to figure out how to get inside the building, a bit of a problem, mainly because Emily didn’t know where the building was to start with.  Well, that can wait until later, Emily thought, lying down on her bed and falling asleep without bothering to clean herself up.
It seemed like seconds later that the sun began streaming through the window.  Emily simply rolled over and went back to sleep.  After all, while she had something to do, she also had all the time in the world.

The sun was halfway down the sky when Emily finally got up and cleaned herself.  The soap was scant, she noticed, but it would do.
With some glee, she noticed a map.  That should tell her exactly where all the buildings were.
She opened the map quickly, fumbling with the paper.  At the the top was a warning about the PKK.  Didn’t I see that before?  Emily thought.  Oh, well. She had other things to do.
The map was rather simple.  It took about a few minutes for Emily to locate the closest major government building, and it would only twenty more for her to walk there.  The trouble was now getting in.
But leaving the shelter, Emily noticed something.  A heap of smelly blankets on a bed, moaning softly.
She promised to herself that she would never become a pile of blankets.
At the building, Emily decided to tag along on a tour of extremely well-dressed people.  They entered the well-dressed hallways.  The tour guide pointed out various portraits and decorations and the meanings behind them, which Emily didn’t care for.  Finally, the tour guide mentioned that there was an “important government meeting” behind the door on her right, which Emily did care for.  She hung back, pretending to observe the walls, until the tour was out of sight. She stared at the door that rich officials sat behind and pulled her lips back in an animal-like grimace.  Her heart felt like it would explode with the sheer force of hate.
 You’ll pay.
 She barged through the door.  There was a table full of crisply dressed people, all wearing suits and yelling unintelligible words.
 Emily punched one.
 On second thought, that hadn’t been a very good idea.
 It should have been expected that there were guards of some sort.
 It should have been expected that the guards would fire on what was clearly an attack.
 There certainly wasn’t time to dodge, but there was time to think.
 To notice the chart in the corner talking about the PKK.  To remember that the PKK was an organization currently fighting the government.  The one on the map, and the one on the second cluster bomb.
She hadn’t been targeted.  Just caught in the middle of a war.  And she hadn’t been seeking revenge, either.  Just escaping.  Escaping from the life she had thought to be trapped in, then escaping from the sooty remains of that life.
 Bullets didn’t travel that fast after all.

Animal Wedding

The young doe looked spectacular in her snowy dress, its train gliding elegantly across the carpeted floor.  Her chestnut coat was scrubbed to a shine, and she hardly made a sound as she was walked down the aisle in her white booties.

All of the guests had been dressed in only the finest attire and were gossiping madly about the new couple:

Black top hats had been fitted onto the prickly heads of the three porcupines, and the two portly walruses were adorned with monocle and cane.

The lioness exhibited a scarlet gown that had been living in a closet all year, waiting for just this kind of occasion, and the penguins wore seersucker button-downs.

The egret was delighted to show off his navy blue herringbone suit, even though it made him quite hungry; the caimans grinned devilishly in houndstooth.

The tyrannosaurus watched the whole procession from afar, downcast because he was not invited (at the capuchin’s bat mitzvah, he had eaten all of the mini quiches).

No one acknowledged that sad, skeletal monstrosity:

The red river hogs were too busy fighting over a pair of Prada heels.

Four bighorn sheep were butting their way to the front row of fold-up chairs in plaid slacks.

One fun-loving grizzly in a neon blazer made her way through the noisy crowd, asking the partygoers for their phone numbers.

The gibbon boasted a polka-dotted bow tie; his velvety arms stretched outwards to hold a Bible.  He was to be the officiator of this holy matrimony.

And it was impossible to ignore the blue whale who hovered cheerfully over them all in a slim-fitting, yellow blouse.

The human stood beaming at the end of the aisle in his blue coveralls, proud of his work.  Everything was in place, and his bride looked as gorgeous as ever.  He loved the way her furry ears poked out from under the shimmering veil, the way her lifeless eyes reflected his own.

But of course! He had forgotten: she needed to be standing.

Bob – for that was the human’s name – rearranged his fiancé’s corpse so that she stood upright on her two hind legs.  He gave her a kiss on the cheek and then fussed with her body some more.  After making sure she was stable, he hurried over towards the entrance doors to close them; this was to be a relatively private affair.

Bob hummed “Here Comes the Bride” to drown out the clamor of his pounding heart.  His low voice bounced off of the emptied glass enclosures and echoed throughout the museum.

He returned to his betrothed and took his place with her under the altar.  He awaited the gibbon’s blessings, frowned when he did not receive them, and then pried the holy book from the animal’s cold hands to read from it himself.

The groom cleared his throat nervously and wiped the sweat off of his forehead.  “Dearly beloved.”

He stopped and took a deep breath.

“Dearly beloved: we are gathered here today to celebrate–”  A surge of nausea swept over him.  He closed the Bible.

Moonlight poured through the large windows and illuminated the faces of the invitees.

The human, standing before a sea of statues, decided to speak his mind.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate our kinship.  We are gathered to celebrate our kinship,” he repeated for emphasis, “because, in today’s world, each human is an island; because my mother cares for me no more than my co-workers do; because people ignore each other on the subway.  Love is but a game of cards we play to distract ourselves from the unrelenting ennui of our daily lives.  Win some, lose some – It’s all the same.

“Everything is so horribly fickle, but we eat it all up so willingly.  This great city is populated by a mass of walking and talking museums.  Each dinner, each movie, each fuck is awarded its own habitat.”

Bob beat his fist on his breast.  He was stronger now.

“And they are be well-maintained habitats at that.”

He inhaled deeply.

“My friends, we are gathered here today to witness a real marriage of two very real individuals.”

Bob turned to his intended and produced a silver ring he had purchased at a stoop sale for two dollars and fifty cents.  On it, Claudia was inscribed.

The groom’s words were smooth and rehearsed.  “This ring is a token of my love.  I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am.”

He took her hoof gently with his free hand and tried slipping the band onto it, but to no avail.

Bob glared determinately at the ring, then at the doe, and then back at the ring in sincere contemplation.  He did this for quite a while before he fell to the floor with a pained sigh.

But wait!  Maybe…

The human pounded the dainty piece of jewelry against his bride’s foot.  Hard.  Then her ankle.  Then her thigh.  Her neck.  The side of her face.

No.  It had all made sense in his head.  His darling’s fur was disheveled, and bruises decorated her figure.

Bob’s knuckles stung; so did his quiet tears.  He flung the wedlock’s consummation across the dark hall.  It tottered aggressively, but only for a moment, before becoming inanimate once more.

 

 

Up In The Air

I have trouble getting my dresser drawers open these days. I have trouble opening the doors in my house, putting my clothes on, picking things up, basically doing anything that requires getting a grip on something; physically and/or emotionally. It’s probably because I’ve just been so sad. The saddest I’ve been in a while. So sad that I can’t complete everyday tasks. It’s like my emotions have just stopped varying and I’m only feeling one way all the time, and I know that’s not human. I could try to fix it, but the problem is I can’t remember why I feel like this in the first place.

Did I ever know why? Was there ever a reason? The past few days have been a blur and I can’t seem to stay in sync with my surroundings anymore. What’s wrong with me?

This morning I waste a good ten seconds of my time to get my drawer open, twenty-two seconds put on my clothes and get ready to go to school. I’m too upset to talk to anyone, even my parents, but that’s okay because they’ve been ignoring me too. It’s like they don’t even notice me, but that’s also okay, because I can tell they’re sad about something too. Last month a close friend of my parents’ moved away. My dad got over it quickly, but Mom was really sad about it. When my mom is sad, she isolates herself from reality. I’m almost positive she was beginning to get over it, but who knows? She could have shifted back into the depression at any point without my knowledge. Why on earth could that be? Does she not know why either? Are we experiencing the same thing? This thought hasn’t crossed my mind before so I go up to my mom, who is sitting glumly at the dining room table, reading the paper.

“Mom,” I say, taking my chances. I know she won’t respond but I’m a little more eager to get some answers from her this time, so I press on.

“Mom,” I plead, but as expected, she looks up from the paper, sighs, briefly buries her head in her hands and continues reading the whatever depressing news is in today.

I get the door open after four tries, (a new record,) and go to the bus stop. God, I’m such a mess.

I wait for the bus along with all the other talkative students in my school, but none of them are talking to me. Not even Lucy and Ben. They don’t even see me. They aren’t even talking to each other, they’re just sitting next to each other with their faces sad and their fingers intertwined. When I think I’m too close to them, I back away, because we had a fight last week and I bet they’re still mad at me. I still am a little annoyed with them, but my boyfriend and girlfriend best friends are looking sadder than I’ve ever seen them, and it breaks my heart regardless. Suddenly, Lucy takes out her phone and unlocks it, revealing the picture that we took at Georgiana’s sweet sixteen. She glances at it and then buries her face into Ben’s shoulder. Ben kisses her on the forehead and rubs her back. I never thought they would be that sorry. Just to play hard to get, I leave the premises. The bus approaches and I go up the stairs behind a few other kids.

I watch as they insert their MetroCards, retrieve them and find a seat. As I am about to do the same, the girl behind me shoves me to the side and away from the paying area. I can tell she didn’t see me, but she didn’t react at all. I soon realize that this girl is Ariel Winters, who has hated me since sixth grade. However, I still think it’s weird that she didn’t glare at me afterwards. No one saw it happen, so I sneak my way towards the rest of the seats, because who doesn’t want a free bus ride? The peculiar thing is the bus driver doesn’t notice either, which makes me feel uneasy, but even so, I sit down on the cold, blue bus seat.

I get to school and head to my first class, an acting class for all the seniors rehearsing an audition for Juilliard in the drama department. I’ve been working on my monologues for weeks and the auditions are next weekend. According to Ms. Tristan, I couldn’t be more prepared, and she said last week that she’s going to try to focus on everybody else since they need more help than I do. Even so, Ms. Tristan always makes sure everybody has their turn by the end of the class period.

I walk in and sit down. I’m the first one there, even before Ms. Tristan. Ms. Tristan always comes after everyone is here. A group of my classmates come in talking, and among them is Damien, my crush since middle school. I know he doesn’t like me back, because I got one of our mutual friends to subtly ask him in seventh grade, so that’s been taken care of. I never stopped liking him, though. He never really talks to me, but we exchange our pleases and thank yous when holding the door or undergoing other everyday exchanges. We don’t have any kind of relationship at all, which saddens me every time I think about it.

Everyone is finally in the room, but nobody sits down until Ms. Tristan comes in with her iPad and red horn-rimmed glasses perched on the tip of her upturned nose.

“Settle down, settle down,” she says with her uppity, theatery tone of voice. “I suppose you’ve all memorized your pieces and are ready to perform them in tip top shape, yes?”

The class lets out a disgruntled mix of yeahs and ehs. Damien sits down next to me in one of the chairs that is organized in the semi-circle. I smile to myself since his chair is unusually close to mine.

“Marcus, remind me when your audition is?” Ms. Tristan asks.

“The eleventh,” Marcus replied. “Nine thirty.”

A thought strikes me. That’s when my audition is. January eleventh at nine thirty. The first one of the day. He can’t have my same time. That’s impossible. I must have read the date wrong. I’ll have to check the website.

“Alright, Clarissa. Give us your first one.”

Clarissa stands up, goes to the middle of the circular choir room and performs her monologue. Eventually everyone does their pieces but Ms. Tristan never calls on me. She told me last week that she wouldn’t work as hard with me, but she would still ask me to perform during class. The period ends and I sadly leave the choir room without having done my monologues. I wind up walking out next to Damien. I go to open the door for him. As far as I know, the door knob is in my hand and I am smiling my politest smile, but I don’t realize that the door is still closed until Damien brushes past me to open it. I sigh and go through the door after him.

I don’t understand how my sadness interrupts my daily actions this much. It’s quite annoying, but being annoyed saddens me even more. It isn’t even that I’m capable of feeling another way. When I try to be in another mood, it’s like I stop in my tracks and turn back around.

By second period, I decide I’m too out of it to trudge through a day of school. I can usually push through a Monday, but there’s something about today that is just too exhausting. My sadness is almost so tiring that I can barely stay alive. After math, I go straight home. It’s not like I get good grades anyway. I can see there’s no point in me being here.

I get home and I see my parents are asleep. I decide to lock myself in my room and practice my monologues. I finish the first one, but then I remember what Marcus said about his audition date.

I run to my computer and pull up the Juilliard website. I go to the page where they list all the names and dates of the applicants in chronological order. I skim the list three or four times and I don’t see my name. I feel the anxiety and fear rising up inside of me, mixed with my sadness. I don’t feel this way only because my name has miraculously disappeared from the application list, but because now I remember what happened two days go. I remember why everything has been so off since that fateful day, and why I’ve been so sad and invisible. Two days ago was the car crash. I hear the doorbell ring, but I stay where I am. Why should I answer the door if I’m just a ghost?

 

 

An Address to Remember

While the big kids were hunting, gathering food, and making shelters, I sat all alone alone on the deserted beach. Huge waves were crashing down, just like the tears on my smooth face. I was not at home. I was nowhere near home. Did anyone know where we were? The hope of rescue seemed… not possible now, since there was a lurking beast that was probably destined to eat all of the boys, including me, Percival Wemys Madison. The Vicarage, Harcourt St. Anthonys, Hants, telephone, telephone, tele-. I always forgot the telephone number. But what good use was it anyhow, stranded with no connection to home sweet home? All I remembered of home was the address. Not even how my house looked, where it was, or who my parents were. Nothing.

I sat, scrunched up so that my face was squeezed next to my knees. My shorts were in bits and pieces, barely covering my privates. My shirt, filled with rips and holes, did not keep me warm from harsh cold winds that were blowing. I lied down, eyes trying to shut, mind trying to remember what home was like. I heard a noise. It was not one of the big boys, whose names did not stick like my address, but a monster. The beast?! I thought to myself. An uneasy feeling went through me, my stomach ached and rumbled. Was this the end? Was the beast going to eat me alive? I pondered these questions and tried to think of happier thoughts.

Although very afraid, I picked up my head from the ground, looked up to see a creature lurking from the water. Whatever it was, it was something like the beast everybody had been chattering about. I didn’t know what to do. Was I to run away and let the boys know? What if the beast followed me and found the rest of the boys? I ran, but my little legs only took me so far. I kept going, not wanting to be taken away by this horrid figure. The fat boy, the one that they all hated, was the first boy I saw. I had to tell him. He seemed knowledgeable, and if I didn’t tell someone, this beast was going to haunt my dreams that would be soon become nightmares.

Although extremely fat, this boy, whatever his name was, was nice enough to listen to what I had to say and didn’t treat me like I was some little boy who couldn’t do anything or didn’t know anything. I could do stuff, I knew stuff! Fatty, as I now remembered, was stunned to hear what I said. He was in shock, but he believed me and didn’t laugh at what I saw.

I looked around after Fatty had left me and saw that he and the chief conversed for a while, and suddenly I saw the conch. I don’t know why, but the conch in this moment reminded me of home… Some noise I would hear every hour… What was it? Everything was unclear except for my address; Percival Wemys Madison. The Vicarage, Harcourt St. Anthonys, Hants, telephone, telephone, tele-. This was a sign that a meeting was going to be soon, and I didn’t know how this was going to go. I hoped to tell all the boys about how I saw the beast coming out of the water, but I would probably get humiliated by them. This is because I’m just some younger kid who is afraid of a huge beast that they are all probably afraid of inside but are too wimpy to show it on the outside. They are big, tall, some were fat and others were skinny but they towered over me. Maybe they were the real beast. Was it a boy just lurking out of the ocean? I thought for a quick second. I shrugged my shoulders and waited for the night meeting to begin.

The sound of the conch, loud, was beginning to become unpleasant after hearing it so many times. This was the first meeting I was somewhat nervous about and was the first one during the nighttime. If Fatty told them about what I saw they’d probably all laugh at me in great disbelief. I knew it even now before it happened. But I saw something–I know I did! And what else is huge and comes out of the water from nowhere? All the big boys gathered along and sat where they wanted to, and I sat with some other younger kids, barely being seen with the thick grass that was very tall, blocking some of our vision.

After Ralph tried to discuss many things, they finally brought up the beast. Fatty signalled that I was the boy who said something and there was already a little laughing from the boys. Younger boys around me furiously pushed me and I stood knee-deep in the central grass, trying to look at my hidden feet.

Ralph asked me, “What’s your name?”

I didn’t want to answer. Then Fatty asked me the same question, “What’s your name?”

Again, I didn’t answer. Because of the silence, the big boys around me broke into a chant saying “What’s your name? What’s your name?” I was very intimidated. Why did everybody care about my name? I bet they did not know any of the other small kids name. They didn’t seem to care about us… But finally, I said it.

“Percival Wemys Madison. The Vicarage, Harcourt St. Anthonys, Hants, telephone, telephone, tele-” After saying this, the thought of home made me weep. Tears ran down my face faster than they had ever, and my face puckered. Even when one of the boys shouted shut up, I would not shut up! My tears kept flowing and my crying continued caused by the thought of home. Much laughter came from the boys during this. Next, they kept asking me about where I saw the beast, so I told them: from the water. This also caused an uproar and by the end of this all, I had given up. I sat back down on my log, my place in society, and tears did not flow anymore. I smiled to myself, hoping that I could one day be back at that address. Reciting the few words of my address yet again, I forgot the large island I was on filled with frightening barbaric boys. My address made my tears of fear and sadness into tears of joy; my address was the one thing that made me think we would be rescued from this place one day. Luckily this address was one that I would never forget, so that hope always stayed in me, until the very last moment I spent on that island.

Hidden Worlds

All my life I have loved being outdoors.  I loved the rain and the winds.  I loved the dew in the morning with little rainbows glittering all around.  And even though it scared me, I loved the feeling of risk being out in the wilderness.  Something feels complete about me when I’m running wild.  I thought it was perfect out in the woods, and that nature was not affected by the big bad world.  I childishly thought nothing could disrupt or harm nature.

I have always loved the mountains.  Their long graceful shapes climbing upwards to the sky.  The wilderness of trees that stretches across them like a long flowing cloak.  Their gray rocky peaks that just touch the clouds.  They are just so massive and old, they have seen so many years pass.  I feel like they watch over me when I’m out in the wilderness.  When I look up at the mountains, there always seems to be something more to them, something hidden in those shadowy woods.  Something magic.

One day I was hiking up the notoriously muddy Mt. Animus with my family.  It was a stormy day, and dark mist rose above my head and spiraled through the treetops.  The deep purple of the sky turned everything to shadows and made the bright greens of the forest a dark, droopy grey.  The air hung heavy on my shoulders as I hiked upwards.  I was a little bit behind my sunny-blond brother who was racing up ahead.  Whenever I scrambled over a slippery blue moss-covered rock, I could see his golden head bobbing in front of me like a lantern in the night.  My parents were a little bit behind me, the heavy fog slowing them down.

I had been taking photographs with my little red plastic camera.  Last night’s constant drizzle had woken up the world.  Fiery orange mushrooms sprung up from the sponge-like ground, and sky blue lichen was bouncing out at me from all sides of the trail like a whimsical pop-up book.  The small bright flash of my camera brought out the colors in the ground, but most of these little wonders were hidden under drooping ferns.  I had to search along the sides of the dirt trail for sparks of brightness in the spongy mud.

Over the course of the hike the fog started to thicken and swirl like homemade whipped cream.  It became increasingly difficult to move and beads of sweat started clinging to the tip of my nose.  My camera fogged up, and my smile turned into a grumble as my wildlife pictures became increasingly blurry.  I wondered how far it was to the summit.

Water droplets started sliding down my glasses bursting into disorienting rainbows whenever I took a photograph.  I took my glasses off to wipe the layer of steam that had accumulated on them, when out of the corner off my eye I saw one of my favorite plants.  “Indian Pipes” are peculiar creamy white plants shaped like clay pipes.  Everyone thinks they are some kind of mushroom, but they are normal plants without the sparkle of green.  They have no chlorophyll inside of them to photosynthesize and create sugars.  Instead they soak up nutrients from the earth.  I love them because they are different from the plants we see every day.

I walked over to a little patch of Indian Pipes just to the left of the trail.  They had sprouted in a perfect circle, which didn’t seem natural to me.  Still, it would make for a good picture.  As I crouched down next to them, I slipped on some wet moss and my precious camera went flying.

“You okay Colly?” came my little brother’s voice from up ahead.

Grumbling I got to my feet.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said grumpily, “But I can’t find my camera.  Could I have some help?  I can’t see a thing with this mist!”

And with that my little lantern came bobbing into view.  But even his wide sapphire eyes couldn’t find my camera.  We searched until Mom and Dad came into view, when I stopped.

“It’s no use!” I cried despairingly, “It’s gone!”

I threw my hands down, accidentally brushing against one of the odd little Indian Pipes and the world faded to black…


When I woke up the world was a blaze of light and the air was clean and dry.  I didn’t open my eyes, but the brightness cast an orange glow through my eyelids.  I felt warmth wash over me and good smells overwhelmed all other senses.  Could that possibly be cookies baking?

I was about to crack open my eyes and ask if I could have a cookie or two, when common sense got in the way.  Wait a moment, I thought, I’d been in the woods.  And this was definitely not Mt. Animus.  A wave of terror crashed over me like ice-cold water.  Where was I?  Had I been abducted?  Kidnapped?  Where was my family?  After terror came panic.  What on earth was going to happen to me?

Then came wonderful clarity.  This situation couldn’t be too awful if cookies were involved.  I cracked open one eye, then another.  I was in a round room with walls the color of fresh cream.  The smell was wafting through a spherical doorway in front of me that strangely started a couple feet above the ground, and the light was coming from straight behind me.

        Suddenly a loud chatter burst out behind my head and the light started vibrating and bouncing around the walls.  I jumped with a start and turned to face something I had never seen before.  The creature standing, no floating, in front of me was a glowing, vibrating humanoid.  The creature was floating inside a little bubble of brightness.  After I got over the shock of the beautiful bubble, I stared in awe at the bizarre creature inside.  It had a small rotund body with wonderful wide eyes, just like my brothers, but neon green.  Small feet stuck out beneath it, although I didn’t know what it could possibly use them for since it seemed to be able to fly.  Similarly sized arms poked out from it’s sides.  It had huge half-moon ears, like a koala, and what appeared to be whiskers sitting atop a little wet heart-shaped nose.  Immediately I knew it could do me no harm, although I couldn’t understand a thing it was saying.

        “Excuse me,” I said clearly and politely, “But I can’t make out what you’re saying.  Do you speak English perhaps?  Or Latin?  I think I can make out a couple sentences in Latin.”

        It cocked it’s head at me, which sent its whole body cartwheeling sideways.  Then it started to speak in a very squeaky, high voice.

        “Apologies for my confusion young miss, I was speaking Lenape.  The last visitor we had spoke Lenape, and a kind fellow was he.  You, on the other hand, appear to speak English.  Good language, English.  But I can’t keep all those pronouns straight.”

        It spoke very quickly and when it was finished I stood in awe.  This little glowing orb spoke English!  It blinked twice then continued, “My name is Phyll spelled P-H-Y-L-L.  My good name is short for Chlorophyll.”  He gave a little bow, which sent him rolling forwards in a summersault.

“Nice to meet you,” I responded, in a shaky voice, “I’m Colly.  Spelled C-O-L-L-Y.  Short for Oecologia.”

“My that’s a pretty name,” he said cheerfully, “Colly reminds me of cauliflower.  Cauliflower is food.  Food reminds me of sugar.  Sugar is sweet.”  And he went on making strange comments like this for quite a while.

“How did I get here?” I interrupted all of the sudden.

“Ahh…” said Phyll calming down, twitching his whiskers and giving me a sideways look, “I knew one as young and curious as you would eventually ask.  Before I tell you, where do you think you are?”

I glared at him, infuriated, “How am I supposed to know?!  I was in the woods with my family near this lovely little bunch of Indian Pipes trying to find my camera when I blacked out and woke up here!  And now I’m having a conversation with a glowing ping pong ball!  Not to mention that it can fly!”

“Hold your horses missy, I didn’t mean for you to get all heated up.  I just find it interesting what visitors think.  I’ll tell you eventually.”

I decided that the best way out of this was to cooperate, “Okay.” I said calmly.

“Did you notice anything odd about those so called ‘Indian Pipes?’” he asked with a twinkle in one of his rather round eyes.

“Well, they were in a circle…”

“Those plants are magical.  Magical portals, yes they are.  And that by touching them you were transported here.”

“Where is here exactly?” I asked.  I doubted very much that the plants had been magical.

“We are presently inside one of the ‘Indian Pipes.’”

It took me a couple seconds to process what Phyll had said.  Then a million questions popped into my mind.

“That’s impossible!” I shouted a little too loudly, “We couldn’t fit inside!”

But as I looked around, I knew it was true.  The white walls of the room were fibrous and looked as though they were made out of plants, and Phyll did look a bit like the microscopic bacteria we studied under a microscope at school.  Did that mean I had been shrunk?  At this point I believed anything was possible.

Phyll smiled seeing my eyes widen as I began to accept the magic that I had just encountered, “Welcome to Vegrandis, a world within a world.”


        Soon Phyll had explained that Vegrandis was one of many minuscule magical worlds inside plants.  These worlds were inhabited by the Parvi, Phyll explained.  Phyll was apparently the head of national affairs in the city of Vegrandis, and often interacted with other nations of Parvi.  Then, after a rather lengthy explanation of the wonderful democracy they had over in Minimus (also known as a clump of mountain sorrel) and a monologue about how awful the old dictator of Vegrandis was (which nearly sent me to sleep, which is saying a lot since I was listening to another species speak), we set about with the “grand tour.”

        We stepped onto a balcony overlooking a huge room filled with other Parvi.  Steam rose from little miniature clay ovens that lined the walls and the air danced with the scent of homemade cookies and pies.  I could smell sugar and butter all over the room.  Sweetness danced in circles around my head.  It was a miniature heaven on earth.

The little Parvi were doing what seemed to be an intricate dance, but turned out to be baking.  Each one had a tray of dough, which they watched over until they slid it into one of the ovens.  All the creatures shared a resemblance to Phyll, although they varied in shades of cream.  All of the Parvi glowed and bobbed, just like Phyll.  Each had their own task of carrying trays heaping with baked goods or stirring bowls of batter.

“Since our mother plant cannot photosynthesize,” explained Phyll, “We bake for her to keep her healthy.  She needs the extra sugars since she supports all of us Parvi.”

        Then Phyll bobbed down a flight of sugar-covered stairs and began to point out different steps in the process of baking.  He also introduced me to all of the friendly Parvi in the room.  They all had smiles on their faces and butter smeared onto their bubbles.  Just seeing their joy made me happy too.  Several cookies later, we arrived at a large door.  I was in a rather jovial mood with sugar and frosting stuck to my cheeks and a smile on my face.  But as soon as Phyll saw that door, his wonderful smiled faded and soon mine did too.

        “There’s something I have to show you, young miss,” he said solemnly, “And I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

        He knocked three times and the door swung open.  We entered a dimly lit room with a few other Parvi inside, all with equally concerned faces.  The source of their concern was soon apparent.  A transparent syrupy liquid had seeped through the wall and formed a lake, and everything the liquid touched shrivelled up and turned brown.  I rushed to the lake that was killing this wonderful world and looked at the damage at my feet.

        “Who would do something this awful?” I cried, tears springing from my eyes at the sight of the wreckage.

        Phyll cleared its throat, “Um, I’m sorry to tell you young miss, but you did this.”

        “What?” No, that wasn’t possible.  I couldn’t have done something this bad.

        “Your people.  Humans.  You have a system that makes you pollute without knowing it.  You don’t mean to, but you can destroy entire worlds by accidentally spilling something or letting something blow away in the breeze.  Don’t worry, we’ll be able to patch this leak up in a couple of weeks, but you need to know that you humans did this.  You love nature young miss, but you destroy it with your love.  There is a whole lot of pollution out there killing your world and ours alike.  It’s up to you to stop pollution from destroying everything we love.  I wish I didn’t have to say this, but I can’t do a thing.  Us Parvi aren’t polluting the world.  Your cars and factories are the ones hurting us all.  So please.  Help us.  All of us.”

And he gave me a deep and sorrowful look, and I knew that helping the world was what I was supposed to do.  All of the worlds.  Because, who else will?  The birds can’t save the sky and the fish can’t save the sea and even the Parvi can’t help.  But we wonderful, terrible human beings can save the world we love so much.  Because right now, we are the bad guys.  But we can also be the heros.  And heros need to make a stand.


To get back to the “big world” Phyll took me into the same circular room I woke up in.

“It will be the same moment when you get back to your family,” he said, “Time moves slower in the big world.  Your parents won’t realize you were gone.”

Then, to my alarm, his shining bubble disappeared with a pop and Phyll toddled over to me on his little round feet.  He attempted to give me a hug, but since the hug was around my knees I lifted my new friend up and gave him a real “big hug.”

“Thank you for showing me your world.” I whispered in a koala bear ear.

“Oh you’re welcome missy.” Phyll whispered back and slipped a little something into my hand, “Do make sure to come back.”

After I promised to come back (which meant hiking Mt. Animus a whole lot), Phyll instructed me to crouch in the same position I was in when I entered Vegrandis.  Then he opened a small cupboard, pressed a button inside and my consciousness started to fade.

“Goodbye!” I heard Phyll shout.

I was about to respond, when the world faded to black again…


When I arrived back on Mt. Animus in the same position as before, with my family all around me, I almost laughed.  Could that have been real?  I looked down at the object in my hand.  It was my camera!  It had gone through the portal!  No wonder I couldn’t find it.  I flipped the camera over.  Scrawled in what appeared to be the glowing essence of a Parvi bubble were the words:

Cauliflower girl-

I’ve enchanted this camera so when you take a picture, it transports you to Vegrandis.  Come as often as you wish!  And remember, you can save the worlds.  All of them.

        -Phyll

        Smiling, I slipped the camera into my pocket.  No more trips up the soggy Mt. Animus,  I thought.

        Out loud I said, “I guess I’ll have to save up for a new camera.  It’s really too bad.”


        Now I know about the harm that can be done to the natural world.  Now I know that the mountains aren’t only a safe haven, they are a place that needs to be saved.  Now I can go out into the world with a goal to help save our wonderful natural world and all the crazy-amazing creatures that live in it.  Because the world isn’t gonna save itself.  That’s what heroes are for.

Latin Names

Animus means mind or imagination

Oecologia means ecology

Vegrandis means tiny

Parvi is the plural of “parvus” which means small

Minimus means very small

Selfish Security

Chapter 1

After Jim won his tenth major tennis tournament, he was so happy that his family rented a black shiny limo for him. When it pulled up, everyone got in. It was only a 40-minute drive into the rural side of New York. They poured him a glass of sparkling water and they were there. Everyone stayed in the limo except him.

He went inside to change and put his trophy away when he saw all his others were missing. He hollered to his family to come out. They came as fast as they could. Even their driver. And they all asked what was wrong. The only word Jim said was “Look.” So they did. They were all gone. The nine other grand trophies he won– gone. Nothing left. Not one. Zero. He just couldn’t speak. Gone, all gone.

They went to his favorite Italian restaurant and he got pasta and red sauce, but it didn’t change a thing. After they went home, they slept for 12 hours: 9 p.m. to 9 a.m. When he woke up, he went into the security room to see what had gone wrong. He asked the security guard Tom to pull the video from two nights ago. He saw the thief. And from under his gloves a note fell out.

So Jim went downstairs and picked up the note, and he read it. It said, “I’ll be back.”

 

Chapter 2

Jim was frightened picking up the note, so he had to get traps to catch the robber… falling cages, laser beams, maybe some trap doors. He got them and put them in the house. It was a little messy. Only some of the floor, wall and ceiling had broken apart, so he got a ladder to put the cages up just about four feet away from the trophy case, and with laser beams zigzagging across from each other. Then he put in the trap doors with a boiling pot of hot water underneath. That night he was happy to go to bed, because in the morning, hopefully, he would be calling 9-1-1 to pick up the robber.

When Jim’s sister went downstairs to get a glass of water, she didn’t know the traps were there so she walked right under the cage, and it fell right on top of her! And then the alarm went off. Jim sprinted downstairs only to see that it was his sister, not a robber.

“Why is there a cage on top of me?” his sister asked.

“Because I was trying to catch the robber,” Jim said.

He picked up the rope and pulled it so the cage came up off her.

“I’m very sorry about the traps,” said Jim.

“Well, you should be sorry. You know you have a photo shoot with the ten trophies on Thursday. If they show up and you don’t have them, they will probably be mad at you and not even reschedule,” said his sister.

“I forgot about that! That’s only four days away!”

“Well, you better get them back,” said his sister.

Jim started to sweat. He looked very nervous.

 

Chapter 3

Jim knew he had better get the trophies back before Thursday or he was going to have to tell them the truth.

His next plan was risky. He was going to have to spend some time in the security room to find out some things about the crook.

“Tom, pull up the same video I asked you about last time,” said Jim. “I need to find out where the crook came into the house.”

“Here,” said Tom.

“This is the right video,” said Jim.

“I think he came… no, I’m positive he came into the house through the front door,” said Tom.

“Thanks,” said Jim.

Jim hollered to his wife downstairs. “You are not going to see me tonight,” he said.

“Where are you going to be?” asked his wife.

“Outside,” he said.

“Okay,” said his wife.

Four hours later, it was eight o’clock and Jim had just woken up from a nap in his car, spying on the criminal to see if he went into the house.

Jim saw a man carrying a black bag from his house to a car.

“The robber!” Jim said to himself. Jim got out of his car and ran after him. “The thief! The thief!” he yelled.

“What?” said The Man With The Black Bag.

“Why are you carrying that bag?” asked Jim.

“I am taking out the trash,” said The Man.

“Why are you coming from my house?”

“Because I was wondering if I could get some money for taking out your trash.”

“Oh, well, I’m very sorry,” said Jim.

Jim went inside and told his wife because she was still awake. “I couldn’t find the crook this time,” said Jim, “but I’m not giving up.”

“Just remember, you only have three more days until the photo shoot.”

 

Chapter 4

The next morning Jim went down the stairs to get breakfast. On the bottom of the orange juice was a note that said, “Meet me in the mall by the fountain at 10 o’clock.” So he had a quick breakfast and got dressed and then left for the mall.

When he got there he saw a man in a black hat and black coat by the fountain. He walked over and asked, “What do you want for my trophies?”

“I want thousands of dollars,” said The Man.

“Like how much exactly?” said Jim.

“Forty thousand,” said The Man.

“Okay.”

“Money first,” said The Man, “and then I’ll give you the trophies in my car. There’s an ATM over there. You can get the $40,000, and then I’ll lead you to my car.”

So Jim went over and got out 40,000 dollars.

“Here’s the 40,000. Now my trophies,” said Jim.

The Man led Jim to his car and opened it. But then suddenly he jumped in and closed the door and locked it, trapping Jim outside. He sped away until he got to a red light, but sped through it anyway. Gladly, there was a cop there to stop him. That gave Jim some time to get in his car. He got in and drove to the same block where The Man With The Black Hat was.

The Man sped away with Jim right behind him. They both went across someone’s lawn  and made tire tracks in the grass. The Man With The Black Hat got onto the 10 Freeway with Jim still right behind him. They were going 92 miles per hour. Luckily there wasn’t another police officer there to stop them. Jim had to get off at the fifth exit they passed because he was low on gas. So he went home much slower.

Now Jim had only two days until the photo shoot.

 

Chapter 5

When Jim walked outside he remembered the note that said, ‘I’ll be back.’ He thought the robber would be back tonight to get the last trophy. He decided to take the day off from trying to catch the robber. What Jim didn’t realize was that the robber was already in his house! When Jim walked inside, Tom asked him, “What are your plans for today?”

“I might go to the lake,” said Jim.

“That sounds nice,” Tom said. “I’m gonna stay around and just make sure the robber’s not gonna come today.”

“I’m gonna get ready,” said Jim.

Jim got ready by putting on his blue swim trunks and a lot of sunscreen. Then he walked downstairs and passed by the empty security room. He went down and got in his car, but then he forgot his towels so he got back out.

When he got back inside the house Jim heard footsteps going up the stairs, so he followed them. What Jim saw when he got to the top of the stairs made him gasp. There was Tom stealing his newest silver trophy out of the case and putting it inside a black duffle bag.

Jim got out his phone and snapped a picture of Tom standing with the trophy. Tom heard the snap of the picture and spun around. He saw Jim.

“Why do you have my trophy?” asked Jim.

“You don’t deserve it,” said Tom.

“What do you mean I don’t deserve it? I worked hard for those trophies!”

“I work even harder than you! I’m your security guard and I guard everything you have, but you don’t pay me enough!”

“How much money do you want?” said Jim.

“All of it!” said Tom. “I want to be a very rich man, and I don’t want to work!”

“Well, you’re not going to have to work in jail,” Jim said. Suddenly, Jim dialed 9-1-1 and told the police that they had to come over quick.

When the police came over Jim showed them the picture and the police took Tom away to jail. He was fired, of course, but not before Tom told Jim where he hid the other trophies. He hid them in the biggest cabinet in the upstairs security room.

The next day, Jim waited for hours for the photographers to come and do the shoot. Finally, at the end of the day, they called and said they had to cancel.

THE END

The Broken Chain

Prologue

 

The sandstorm whipped the man’s eyes from beneath his cowl. His cloak fluttered behind him as he trudged on through the desert. His dark blue cloak stood out in the vast pale wasteland. As he climbed up a sand dune, he noticed a small settlement off in the distance. He then slowly made his way towards the town. As he approached the first group of buildings, he noticed that there were large oak and cedar trees nearby. In the desert, seeing trees was a sign that you were nearing the edge of the desert. Right before he entered the town, he muttered very silently three words. As he spoke the air seemed to shimmer around him. When he was done, the air shimmered whenever he moved. He then walked in.

His first priority was to find an inn or tavern to get something to eat and drink. The man saw a large circular building near the edge of the settlement. He also noticed that there was a large flowing river not far behind the inn. It was strange to see so much water in such a dry place, but it didn’t matter to the man in the blue cloak.

When he opened the inn’s door, the thick musky smell of beer and ale wafted towards him. As he made his way inside, he looked at all the men and women seated around tables. Most were yelling or banging their tankards together, while others were just talking to each other. He made his way to the back of the bar (near the exit) so he could see the whole inn. Once he was seated, the bartender, a bald man of medium height and tan skin, came up up to him and said, “Welcome to the Dune Sea, what would ya’ like?”

“Water please,” the blue cloaked man replied. As the bartender poured water into a clay mug, the blue cloaked man stared at the entrance to the inn.

“Here ya’ go,” the bartender said as he placed the mug down in front of the blue cloaked man.

“Thanks,” the cloaked man replied as he picked up the mug and drank. The cold water was much more refreshing than the muddy water that he had been drinking for the last 2 weeks.

“The name’s Clay. What are ya’ doing in the desert?” the bartender asked.

“Nothing much, just traveling,” the blue cloaked man replied. The bartender laughed and said, “Likely story, but if you were traveling through the desert, you’d need a reason to travel.”

The cloaked man smiled and said, “Let’s just say that I needed to do a little digging and clear something up.”

Clay grinned and replied, ”I like ya’ kid, so what might your name be?”

“It’s not always wise to give your name to someone you just met,” the blue cloaked man stated. Clay laughed and walked away to help another customer. As the man sipped his mug he saw the inn’s door creak open as someone walked in. The man was tall and had long sandy hair. He carried a sword at his hip and wore light leather trousers. He wore a gold colored tunic with long sleeves that each had a slash of red on them. But his most distinguishing feature was his blood red cloak. The blue cloaked man placed his mug down along with two copper coins and walked slowly towards the back door. As he walked out the back door, the blue cloaked man smiled because even though he was almost caught, anyone who saw him today would forget that they ever talked, or saw him in the town.

 

 

Chapter 1 Mysteries and Preparation

 

“Come on, what do you want?” Abby asked while she threw up her hands.

“It’s just my birthday, nothing special about that!” Arya replied as she walked ahead of the group.

“But you’re the the crown princess of all Ayraleseia and you’re turning 18 in two days!” Julia replied.

“It’s not a big deal!” Arya said as she threw up her hands, exasperated. Arya Orthora was a tall slender girl, with golden blonde hair with the edges hinted with red that fell to the middle of her back in waves. She walked with such grace and beauty that people tended to watch when she moved. But she could be quick witted and determined if she needed or wanted to. Turning 18 in Ayraleseia was a big deal because now you could start your own family. But Arya didn’t see what was the point in making this huge celebration for her birthday, if she didn’t want it to happen. Her two ladies in waiting were Julia and Abby Corran. Julia had curly blonde hair slightly past her shoulders. Abby had straight fox fur red colored hair down to her shoulders. But other than that they both had the same energetic and happy personality. Their brother Andras was less energetic than his sisters and was a good scribe who was trying to get into the Society of Scholars.

“You have to want something!” Abby said.

“I want you two to stop asking about it!” Arya exclaimed. Suddenly the girls stopped talking and stood staring at something ahead of them. Arya  looked up and saw her older brother. Arthur Othora was the perfect image of a prince. He had the same hair color as his sister and they were both tall, but that’s where the similarities ended. He was well-muscled from warrior training. He had a brilliant smile that made girls flock around him in minutes. He was also extremely cocky and always played the part of the perfect prince. Both Abby and Julia were madly in love with him. As he turned his head and saw his sister he broke into a grin. He rested his practice sword on his shoulder and walked over to them. As he approached, Abby and Julia batted both of their eyelashes and smiled at him as they said in unison, “Hello, Prince Arthur.”

“Hello Abby, hello Julia. You’re both looking as beautiful as ever,” Arthur said while grinning.

Both Abby and Julia clapped their hands over their mouths and started giggling. Taylor rolled her eyes at her friends’ silly behavior.

“So what does my little sister want for her birthday?” Arthur asked.

“I don’t know, why does everyone keep asking!” Ayra exclaimed.

“Everyone keeps asking because you’re turning 18!” replied her brother. Arya moaned and started walking away from her brother and her friends. “ But what do you really want Arya?” someone said from the stairs to the courtyard. Arya turned and saw her father walking down the steps towards them.

“Your Highness,” Abby and Julia said while bowing.

“Dad!” Arya exclaimed running as fast as her dress would let her. Her father laughed and picked her up swinging her around and then putting her back down. “Dad, how is everything,” Arya asked, impatient to know when he got back from a meeting at Hafcsein.

“Everything is alright, just some minor dispute that I had to deal with,” the king said. “But enough about me, what have you been doing young lady?” the king asked. King Daedulan Orthora was a good, just man who had ruled for 20 years and had not been mistrusted once. He was a loving man who cared very much for his children.

“You know, reading, running, studying with tutors, running,” Arya replied to her father.

“That’s very good, now if you’ll excuse me I need to have a chat with your brother,” the king replied.

“Ok see you tonight,” Arya said glad to see that her father was back.

“Hey Arya, Abby and I are going to go find Andras because we need to ask him some questions, so see you later.” Julia said as the headed off. Arya sighed and was going to go to her room when a hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to see that lord Tyran Searsan was there smiling. “ Why hello Arya how are you doing today?” Tyran asked. Lord Tyran Searsan was a boy of average height with short black hair and sharp green eyes. His father owned a large estate near the palace and was one of the king’s most loyal advisers and was also a well-known warrior.

“Hello Tyran, I’m doing well thank you,” Arya said. Tyran flirted with many girls, but he flirted with Arya the most. Ayra thought he was nice, but he could be annoying and he treated peasants horribly. Arya thought he was a good person, she would never want to be in the same house as him.

“Well what does the gorgeous princess of Ayraleseia want for her 18th birthday?” He asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

Arya sighed and said, “I really don’t care about my stupid birthday right now because if everyone makes a big deal about it, it feels more like they just want an excuse to go to a party.”

“How about you and I go for a walk and discuss this somewhere more peaceful,” he asked.

Arya considered saying no, but then she shrugged her shoulders and said, “Why not.” Tyran smiled and held out his hand and she took it. They both walked towards the gardens so they could have somewhere peaceful to converse. In the gardens, Tyran told her how he had helped his father with the taxing of people of the estate. He also told her about how he had defeated three opponents in the arena two days ago. Arya thought this was boring, but it at least helped get her mind off things. But then he told her something that caught her off guard.

“So did you hear about the attack in the Ducardaan desert?” he asked.

She frowned. “I didn’t know this. What happened?”

 

 

The Creature of Bassnovia

In the town of Bassnovia, everyone lived in fear. The town’s workshops and markets were abandoned and everyone stayed inside. Horses were kept in barns with pigs and chickens. Citizens only went out to refill their water jugs or feed the animals. The sky was gray and cloudy; the sun was always hidden by the clouds. No stars shined at night, and the moon only gave off a dim glow. No one danced in the center of town around the giant fountain. It just loomed up twenty feet into the air, only occasionally, drops of black water dripping down and splashing into the very shallow pool in the bottom.

  Now you’re probably wondering why everyone lives in fear. Well, the truth is, no one knows. For as long as the Citizens have lived in Bassnovia, they have been afraid. It might have something to do with the big creepy forest on the edge of the town. A little too close to the huts than the people would like.

    Now there was one young boy named Emanuel Wots who wasn’t scared like the rest of the people. He was a thirteen-year-old boy with wavy black hair and freckles. He wasn’t a very well built boy, with skinny arms and legs. In fact, most of the boys and girls in Bassnovia were scrawny like him.

    He was not so scared of the forest or of the gloomy sky. In fact, sometimes he even played in the black water of the fountain. His mother was very frightened for the boy, not knowing what would happen if he decided to go into the woods.

    And one day he did. He told his mother he was going, then packed some food and water and paper and pencils to make maps. His mother was very sad and scared for Emanuel, but she knew there was no way to stop him.

    So that day, Emanuel trotted into the forest, head held high, marching into the hellish place of the pine forest. It began to grow darker the deeper he went, the branches weaving together, making a dome over his head. He walked deeper yet. When it got too dark to see, he lit the lamp he had packed last minute and continued walking.

    Suddenly, the quiet forest began to come alive. He heard groaning sounds coming from deep in the forest. He stopped. The noise had stopped. So he kept on walking, but as soon as his feet started moving, it came back. The groaning was louder now, accompanied by a screeching yowl erupting from deep within the forest.

    Emanuel’s heart began to beat against his chest. He was starting to get worried. What if he made the wrong decision?

    He kept on walking. This time, the voices didn’t stop. He began to walk a little faster. Suddenly, something tripped him. He landed on his stomach on the dirty leaves. A hissing noise filled his ears. He looked into the shadows, slanted eyes glowing red glowed from the bushes. Emanuel began to tremble.

    A twisted claw with thick dark red blood dripping down from its gnarly  tips emerged from the leaves. Emanuel froze.

      An arm attached to the claws appeared. It was black and twisted, covered in scrapes, and then its body came, big and bulky with a slash down its chest, its yellow flesh visible from the cut. Blood oozed out of the wound, dripping down its chest. It had big crooked spikes sticking out of its spine. Its gaping jaw stretched into a cave filled with millions of sharp and jagged yellowed teeth. Its beady blood-red eyes were filled with murder. An eerie glow shined on its slimy gross skin.

   Emanuel was too scared to move. The town’s people were right about this freaky place. It was a nightmare.

   The creature advanced toward Emanuel. Emanuel stayed frozen. It came so close, the boy could feel its hot stinky breath on his neck. It smelled of death.

    It came even closer, bringing out his long snake-like tongue and licked the boy’s dirty face.

     Emanuel screamed: a piercing noise in the quiet forest.

The creature yowled in the boy’s face, lunging at him with his jaws open. It snapped his neck, blood gushing out of Emanuel’s neck.The creature dragged the boy into the forest.

     And no one ever dared to go into the forest again……..

THE END

American Food in France

3:44 p.m. Friday, June 12, 2015

If you have read my previous journal that I proudly finished, you would know that a lot of queer things have happened to me. I probably shouldn’t use queer; it might sound strange because I am queer… I think strange is better. Yes, very, very unfortunate things. My name is Sinclair Foote, and I am more distinguished than most people. Of course, that’s a euphemism. It’s pretty evident that I’m better than everyone.

So, I just came back from Paris two weeks ago. I actually had a great time. The only flaw is that the people are all European, so they think peeing on the streets and letting their babies go naked is fine.

I think the best restaurant I went to was this place called Le Cinq at the George Cinq Hotel. The meal cost $1,055 – the most expensive and exquisite dinner I have ever had and paid for. It was completely and utterly worth it.

The help began with some wonderful warm French Bread – though I think the waiters tried too hard. They were far too nice and positive. For my appetizer I had a perfectly seared Foie Gras roasted with pistils of flower, pear, and petals of sweet and sour radish. It was $70 and almost as good as mine. For my second course I had Coquilles St. Jacques. The sauce wasn’t thick enough. For my entree, I had pithiviers of Grouse, Duck Mallard and Young Partridge with chestnut honey, autumn fruits, and squeezed juice with armagnac. I was a bit of a grouse myself after the meal because it was a little greasy. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m a more exquisite cook than the whole staff put together.

When I went to a market, there were sections for all the nations’ foods. In the Japanese section, there was ramen and a freezer for the terribly put-together sushi. In the Indian section, there were bags of dried curry that looked like they would give a person a day and night’s worth of diarrhea.

Finally, I reached the American section and was curious to see what they thought of us Americans. I walked down the aisle, hearing every creak my feet made. People rushed past me with their carts as I stood frozen, staring in horror at the rows of vile pleasure before me – Oreos, peanut butter, cake mix, candy cereal with the midget leprechaun, potato chips with so much salt it’s very likely they came from the Dead Sea, and Hersheys – the most vulgar chocolate ever made. If a Hershey kiss kissed me, I’d lock myself in a closet with Tom Cruise. The list goes on. SO many unhealthy foods!

This was the most insulting incident I had ever encountered! America has so many great restaurants, like that restaurant Providence in L.A. It has four Michelin stars! Although, when I had their smoked trout, I had to send it back because it was a little too fishy. I only went back there once, but they no longer have the foie gras ravioli, because those imbecilic Sacramentans outlawed it! Everybody from Sacramento is an idiot!

But let’s get back to the point. America has some of the most delicious food, not on the planet, though. But it’s definitely better than Hungary! No wonder they go hungry all the time!

My new life goal is to replace the vile filth in the American section of that French market with high-quality cuisine that better represents my country and home that I’m probably going to move away from.

Then I realized that I said all of that out loud and I was very embarrassed. At least no one was in that aisle, because it’s the American section and no one would be caught dead there.

I walked out of the store so enraged. What I thought at that very frustrating, confusing moment was: I cannot believe this! This is terrible! Only the disgusting, greasy-haired, wannabees that eat only at Tito’s Tacos eat those disgraceful foods!

So I have decided that after seeing so much awful American food, I will stop this from happening!

I will get a flight back to Paris in three weeks. I don’t think I will ever be able to stomach American food again.

 

5:14 a.m. Saturday, June 13, 2015

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I really think I have insomnia because I’ve been waking up a lot at night, and it’s been very hard to sleep, and let me tell you, when I can’t fall asleep, I wake up with very dark rings under my eyes and dark rings do not help my complexion at all. I also think I have OCD, because when I see something that isn’t perfect, I feel the need to fix it. And I am pretty sure I have a cyclothymic disorder because I haven’t been interested that much in my daily shows. Well, Seth MacFarlane has gone downhill after that horrible “A Million Ways to Die in the West” thing he calls a movie. I mean, Neil Patrick Harris makes Adam Sandler look good.

Anyway, last week I went to the doctor because I thought I had diabetes, and Dr. Bowmann said, “You have been coming to me at least twice a month saying that you think you have a certain disease or virus. I either think you have hypochondria or you have a crush on me.”

He chuckled. I made the most insulting disgusted face I could make. And after that brief, annoying sentence he said that I had hypochondria. He explained the meaning and I realized that I did have it.

He said I should see a therapist and gave me this supposedly “great” therapist’s number and address.

After that, I went home and had my daily macchiato and chocolate chip cookies that I found at Whole Foods. They’re gluten-free and I KNOW gluten-free is really terrible, but these are just the best cookies I’ve ever had. They melt in your mouth and they’re so crunchy. But I’ve only started eating them since Mindy and Danny broke up on The Mindy Project. It left me looking like an addict who hasn’t had a smoke in a week.

For the past three months, I’ve gone on a gluten-free diet because I’m worried that I will get Celiac’s Disease. No matter what, I will always be against gluten-free foods. I think it is the stupidest thing I have ever encountered. Whenever you try to make something that is gluten-free, it ends up tasting like what the inside of a pelican’s mouth looks like.

After my macchiato, I called the number of the therapist. The person who answered had a weird accent that I disliked very strongly.

He said, “Howdy, friend. What’cha needin’?”

I asked him if he was a therapist, trying hard not to seem disgusted.

He said, “Reckon’ I am! Jeremiah Alabaster Mackelroy is the name, but you can just call me Dr. J.A. Mackelory.”

I sighed, frustrated, and replied, “Okay, well, when can I come in?”

He said I could come tomorrow. He doesn’t have many clients, so I could come in at 9:30.

I did not expect anything good to come out of this.

 

9:27 a.m. Sunday, June 14, 2015

I waited in the waiting room of the so called “therapist’s” office, sitting on the disgusting cracked leather couch. The only magazines there were architecture magazines, which had the ugliest architecture I had ever seen. The architects were physically unable to design. I could make more than $100,000,000 being an architect and I would be so exquisite that I would get so many jobs and I would have to turn down at least 10 jobs a week. The only other magazine there was some kind of Texas vogue magazine, but the clothes were awful! There was a cheap polyester plaid crop top that said “howdy.” I was stunned. It was just like that time when I saw three fourth graders at the mall and the ugly, curly-haired, short girl said to the other two girls, “The first person to touch my hand is my best friend!” and they started chasing her!

Anyway, Dr. J.A. Mackelroy called me in. When I first walked into the room, I knew this was a big mistake. He was overweight and sort of bald, wearing a cowboy hat. Everything he was wearing was denim. He was wearing one of those out-of-fashion cowboy ties. It was classic cowboy. I would rather watch Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill with Arinna Grande than go to this therapy session. When I walked into the room it reeked of incense. I really don’t see how that could be soothing for a patient. I actually almost stepped out of the room. I would have done anything for death to come and take me away. There wasn’t a single thing in that hellhole he called a room that didn’t symbolize Texas. He definitely does not work the Texas style. I know if I were in his repugnant shoes I would work it like there was no tomorrow, I would be like Alexa Chung. But I’m obviously more stylish than her.

He said, “Please, sit.”

I took one look at the chair which was cowskin dyed magenta and thought, Ew. I sighed and said in a very tight voice, “Yeah, I would prefer to stand.”

He looked very annoyed and replied in a voice like he was trying to sound nice but not succeeding, “Please sit in the darn chair, I would not like to repeat myself.”

So I did – probably looking uncomfortable.

Then he said, “So, yous’ got hypochondria.”

And I didn’t say anything, but I really wanted to ask him how he didn’t drown in his own filth.

You probably have figured out by now that I am grossed out by most fast foods. Well, I think I am going to sue Dr. J.A. Mackelroy for what he did then. He took an In-N-Out burger from… I don’t even know where! Then he took out animal-style fries and started eating them with his hands. I started to gag, and not that small little gag that you have in your head, that huge one that is very noticeable. Unfortunately, he didn’t notice my gags. Then he asked how high do I think my self esteem is, and that’s where I drew the line. I got up, brushed off the part of my body that touched the chair, put on hand sanitizer, and left – scarred for life.

 

 

7:09 a.m. Monday, June 15, 2015

I was on the phone for exactly 46 minutes with this guy that had a robot voice. He kept on saying, “Thank you, and if you have any other problems, please call us.” And I was yelling at him, “No! I have a problem right now! Can you talk to me now, you stupid emotionless cyborg!”

He repeated the idiotic line again. I told him – or it – “This is not good customer service. I will write terrible things about you on Yelp!”

This went on for 35 more minutes.

I finally booked the flight tickets, first class, to Paris. I refuse to sit in economy class; I would rather watch a two-hour block of “How I Met Your Mother.” But first class is still pretty disgusting. The cookies they give you at the end are just TOO soft and gooey. The gluten-free cookies are the good cookies, because they’re crunchy yet they melt in your mouth. God I love those cookies… *Ahem* Umm… Uhh… I mean, the chocolate chips are usually a bit stale. Anyway, I am leaving in two days.

 

6:07 a.m. Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Today is the day that i go to Paris. I had my daily macchiato and gluten free cookie(s). I had packed my various clothing, mostly by Michael Kors. After that I ordered my driver, Topvik, to pick me up, because I refuse to take a taxi. Taxis are supposed to cause half of the type of common colds that occur in Silverlake.

I only got to watch one episode of Family Guy. It was the one where Peter finds out Lois is Jewish and starts talking with a very guttural voice. At about a quarter to seven, my driver, Topvik, picked me up.

When we arrived at the airport, it wasn’t very crowded for some reason. As I checked in, I thought I saw Conway Twitty, but I don’t know for sure. God, I hate his facial expressions when he sings, and that hair? Yeesh!

I arrived in first class. The in-air help gave me a hot towel and served me some Moet & Chandon. It was flat. The person sitting closest to me was the same guy I thought was Conway Twitty.

I turned to my side and asked him, “Are you Conway Twitty?”

He looked very insulted and replied, “Conway Twitty has been dead 20 years, and that is the most insulting thing that I’ve heard since I got a nose job.” He had a thick deep New York accent.

I sniffed in a very condescending way and looked down my nose at him. I turned away, raising my eyebrow. I mean, his hair wasn’t that magnificent.

* * *

After six hours, they served dinner. I ordered just a caesar salad with some more Moet & Chandon. The only other options they had were shrimp cocktails, a lamb shwarma with pasta that looked disgusting – even on the menu- and some other kind of fish that looked like it would give me E. coli poisoning.

Every hour I walked down the aisles because I read in a beauty magazine that if you just sit in one seat for one hour that it will paralyze your butt, and I don’t need that stress hanging over me.

We arrived around 2:30 p.m. and I saw some of the other idiots that were in first class walking very stiffly, so I’m glad that I walked down the aisles.

 

6:04 a.m. Thursday, June 18, The Apartment

I arrived at my apartment around 4:00 p.m.. I never get jet lagged, because the amount of water pills and macchiatos that I drink doesn’t let jet lag affect me.

I got dressed in all Michael Kors clothes. I went to the same market where I was so offended three weeks ago. I stopped outside the front doors and realized… this is one of the biggest moments of my life. This is my legacy. This is what Paris will remember me for.

This is it.

I walked determinedly into the store, heel-toe heel-toe, with purpose. I asked the little butler that was chopping prosciutto if I could talk to the manager, in French. He said, “Umm… Uhh… Sure. You can see him. Do you have a problem?”

“Yes I do have a problem, but I don’t wish to talk about it with a little butler who chops prosciutto.”

“Oui, oui, desoleil.” Then he took me to the manager.

The manager said, “What do you need?”

He was wearing small Harry Potter-like glasses that were far too tiny for his huge fat head. He was also bald, which made his complexion look worse because there was just so much of it without hair to cover it up. I demanded he replace the American section in the market because it was highly offensive to my kind.

He just plainly responded: “No.”

I asked again, more firmly. And he said again, “No.”

I finally said back to him, “You disgusting vile fat pasty-faced swine!”

He just said, “No,” again.

I said, very confused, “Well, then can I buy everything in that section?”

And then he said, “Yes.” He gave me the price. It was $1,055. Ironically, it was the exact same amount of money as the Les Cinq dinner.

“I’ll… take it,” I hesitantly agree.

I paid for the 450 pounds of food, called Topvik and told him, “Bring your largest car.”

I succeeded. I had done it. It was very expensive, but I’m rich, so who cares? I spared Paris from the vile stereotyped American food.

* * *

Topvik walked into my hotel room later that night to tell me that I had left my Michael Kors clutch in the car. But he stopped, stunned, and stared at me. I was just chewing on some raw Toll House cookie dough underneath the covers of the bed…

I guess I betrayed my gluten-free diet. God bless America.


THE END

Raven

Fight fire with fire

 

And pain with pain…

 

___________________________

 

My name is Raven. The Earth has orbited the sun about sixteen times since the day I was born, but that is irrelevant. Age is no longer a restraint here in Endgame. What matters is your experience. You have to fight to survive around here. Almost everything wants to kill you, and absolutely everything can.

 

I was given my name because I was born with unnaturally black hair. My identical twin got the name Onyx for the same reason.

 

Onyx and I have shared a mental bond since birth. We were always able to tell what the other was thinking. I could communicate with Onyx from across a room.

 

One week ago, that bond was severed. Why? Because Onyx was murdered. I don’t know who murdered her, or why. All that I know is that it hurt. A lot. The mental link was enough to tell me that. Every day, I recover more and more memory of that night, and sometimes I catch glimpses of a knife, or a crooked smile.

 

Every night, I relive the agony of having my mental bonds snapped. I never knew how much Onyx meant to me until I lost her. Tonight, however, will be different. Tonight, I will track down my sister’s killer.

Crescent That Will Definitely Not Fail

Crescent.

My mother named me that because that’s what she thought when she first saw me. Not full and wholesome like a full moon, not dark and serene like a cloudy night when you can’t see a moon at all. A crescent, a little sliver of person, not whole and not nothing. Pale and so close to being gone that you can barely tell I’m there.

I haven’t changed since then in terms of appearance. I still look half-made, like someone didn’t put enough detail into my features, or if someone’s printer ran out of ink. I’m slim and short enough to curl up into a little ball underneath my bed, which is what I would be doing right now if it had snowed enough to give us a snow day and no homework. I have short, dark brown hairpixie-cut-shortand light blue eyes, which sounds pretty, but it’s notit’s like when you blot blue watercolor and most of the color fades and you have to try again. I know because my mother told me. She seems to know everything.

“Next,” the barista calls, and I step forward and order my drink.

The barista is pretty cute. Long brown hair, almond-shaped green eyes, tall and slender and full, not like me. Her name tag reads Elizabeth, but then I see that someonepresumably the girl, though it’s hard to tellhas crossed that out and then, in red Sharpie, written Chimes. I vaguely wonder how Chimes came out of Elizabeth, but then she’s asking for my name and I have to give it to her.

“Crescent,” I say, nearly wincing at the sound of it. I hate it. It matches my personality too much, my half-faded features, my voice, my everything. I hate my name. I hate it I hate it I hate it, and I can’t get rid of it.

The barista seems unfazed as she scribbles it down on a pink Starbucks cup and tells me my total. I hand her the cash, take the change, and walk down the room, my boots making a thud-thud, thud-thud sound on the tiles. I bite my lip, wondering if maybe I should’ve chosen to wear flats today, or sneakers, or anything that made less noise.

I walk back to the table I’ve dumped my backpack, coat and scarf, and violin case at, and sit down, waiting for my drink. There’s really no point in standing at the counter for the twenty minutes they take to fix a single mocha.

So, of course, they call the drink I ordered five minutes later (why did they even bother to call my name, anyway?) and I’m already deep into my homework. I’m closing my Mac laptop and standing up when I hear a deep male voice say, “Oh, I think that’s mine.” I swivel my head around and am just in time to see a tall, large, bearded man take my drink and sit at a table. I bite my lip and get up. I’m about to tap the man on the shoulder when I think, I probably shouldn’t bother him. He’ll enjoy that drink.

That drink that you paid for, a snide little voice in the back of my head reminds me. I push it aside and glance at the barista who took my order who is now doing something on her phone, apparently not caring about the long line winding around the room. I bite my lip.

I have two options here. I can either defy everything my mother has ever told me my whole lifedon’t say anything unless it’s a matter of life or death, and even then no one probably caresand ask either the barista that the man took my drink or I can tell the man that he took my drink and ask that he pay for a new one or whatever people are supposed to do in a situation like this, or I can wait in theI count the people quickly in my headthirteen-people line and order and pay for a new drink.

Hmm, I think bitterly. Which one is Invisible Woman going to choose?

I don’t even need to think twiceI get in the line and wait.

When the barista sees me, she smiles. “Not satisfied with your drink, huh? Yeah, the drinks here are shit. Cookie?” She nods to the snacks.

“Um, no thanks…can I have another

“Tall mocha? Yes ma’am.”

“How did you

“Remember your order?” The barista-or Chimes, I suppose, laughs. “To be honest, I don’t completely know. Maybe it’s because you’re cute as hell?”

I feel myself blushing and hate myself for it. “I’mI’m not

“Not lesbian? Sorry.”

“Nonot cute asas, well, hell. Umcan I just

“Oh, yeah.” She pulls a cup from the stack next to her and takes her red Sharpie out from behind her ear. “Crescent, right? Memorable name.”

“Yep,” I mumble. “Especially when it matches everything true about me.”

Chimes raises an eyebrow but stays silent, just scribbles my name on the cup and passes it down to the people making the drinks. “There you go, Crescent. Can I call you Cress?”

“No. Anyway, you won’t have a reason to,” I point out. “I never come to this Starbucks.”

“Well, maybe you’ll have a reason to,” Chimes says, and I shake my head and move down. “Why are you getting another drink, anyway? I never asked.”

“Oh…” I shrug my left shoulder. “Some guy took the first one.”

“His name is Crescent, too?” She grins. “Weird.” I open my mouth to respond, but she shakes her head. “No, I know. I’m not as stupid as I look.” She grins again. “Everyone always says that.”

“I don’t think you look stupid,” I say before I even realize there are words coming out of my mouth.

Chimes smiles. “Aww, that’s sweet. Thanks. Anyway, why didn’t you just tell him it was yours and have him buy you a new drink?”

“I don’t

“Hey, it’s okay.” She raises her voice. “Hey, guy with the tall mocha.” The guy turns around, along with a few other customers. “Yes, you. You took this girl’s drink.” I feel my cheeks warm.

The guy stands up immediately. “Did I?” For what must be the first time, he turns the cup to look at the name. “Oh gosh, sorry. Do you want me to buy you a new drink?”

“You don’t have toI mean, that would be nice, butI can buy another one, it’s fine.” I force a smile.

“Are you sure?”

I make the smile a little bigger and nod. “Yeah, it’s fine. Um…” I never know how to end conversations, but the middle-aged man makes it easy by smiling and sitting back down. I can tell he’s relieved that he didn’t have to spend four more dollars on a coffee he wasn’t even going to drink.

I turn back to the counter.

Chimes looks confused. Very confused.

“What the hell was that?” She asks, her eyebrows wrinkled. “Why didn’t you make him pay for another drink?”

“It’s not worth it,” I mutter. “You saw how relieved he was. He probably has a wife and kids.”

“He comes here every day,” Chimes says tightly. “He has three girlfriends and a cat named Chester. He owns two mac computers and an iPhone. I think he’s pretty well off. If you’re rich enough to own that and come to fricking Starbucks every day, then I think he can pay for one more drink.”

I shake my head and smile despite myself. “How do you even know that?”

“Just look at his email. It’s obvious.”

“Obvious. Right, Sherlock.”

“It’s elementary, Watson.” A small smile tugs at the corner of Chime’s lips, but she presses her lips together and forces herself to frown. “Here’s your drink.”
I smile slightly. “Thanks.” I take the drink and walk away.

“That’s it? That’s all?” I turn around and face Chimes.

“What else do you want me to say?”

Chimes shakes her head. I sit down and watch her take the next order.

I pull my laptop out of my backpack and tuck my hair behind my ears. My email is already open, and from what I see in front of me, my best friend Rebecca (also known as Becca) has emailed me seven different times about various things in the last half hour. I sigh like I’m annoyed to have so many emails from her, but in reality, I love Becca. She’s been my best friend since second grade when I accidentally hit her in the head with my extremely heavy second-grader backpack going down the stairs to dismissal and she went tumbling down the last two flights. She ended up with a slight concussion and a couple of rather impressive bruises. I refused to go to school for three days after that, and then Becca’s mother called mine, saying Becca was wondering why I had been absent those few days, and that she hoped I was okay. That’s pretty much how I made my first friend.

I’m jerked out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. I groan inwardly, mostly because I recognize the ringtone. It’s a Bruce Springstein song, which means only one person can be calling, and that’s my mom.

I dig it out of my pocket and answer it. As always, my mother is first to speak.

“Hi, Crescent!” She says in the obviously fake-energetic voice she always uses with me. “I was just wondering where you were. You’re usually home by now.”

As if you care, I think to myself. I speak into the phone, “I’m just at Starbucks, mom. The one I usually go to near school was jam-packed.” True.

“Oh! I was worried. You’re usually home by now.” She’s said that twice now.

As if. “Yeah, I know, I just didn’t want to have to go through all those people and wait a while for my drink.” True.

“Got it. What time are you going to be home? I’m starved, do you think you can be home by six?”

“Yeah, I just decided to do homework. That’s also why I’m still here.” False.

“Oh, okay. Pick up some milk on your way home, okay? We’re almost out.”
I swallow. “Okay. Anything else?” The line buzzes. She’s already hung up.

I roll my eyes and slip my phone into my pocket again. I have better things to do than to talk to her. Like look at my seven emails from Becca.

So I do. As it turns out, Becca is only emailing me about homework. I respond to her quickly and pack my things. I slide into my coat, buttoning it up, and wrap my scarf around my neck. I pick up my violin case and head out the door. I look back at the counter. Chimes is sitting on a stool, feet up on the counter, scribbling something on a cup with a red Sharpie. She looks up and catches my eye, grins, and shows me the cup. She’s sketched a rough scene that probably takes place somewhere in Central Parkrocks next to a lake with a bunch of rowboats. Two girlsme and her, I’m assumingsit on the rocks. She holds up a finger, and I wait. When she shows me the cup again, there’s a crescent moon above the scene. I smile a little and push open the door.

I guess it wouldn’t really hurt to come back to this Starbucks tomorrow. And who knows? Maybe I won’t be as much of a nobody.

Crescent.

I’m named that because that’s what I am. Not full and wholesome like a full moon, not dark and serene like a night without any moon at all. A crescent, a little sliver in the sky, not whole and not nothing but still something, still bright and beautiful. Still giving light. Still a moon.

 

 

The Preparations

ONE

The day the world ends is August 8. Our leader told us so. They stood on the balcony overlooking our town and called us to attention.

“We will all pass on the 8th of August, at 3:30. Our scientists have discovered that Earth will die from overheating, and our reinforcements will melt. The beams holding up our community will collapse, and we will drown.”

It’s kind of sad, I think, to have to accept death, but they say it is the only thing to do. We must go voluntarily. The celebrations will make up for it. My brother is only little, so he cried during the announcement. He hasn’t been taught yet that showing negative emotions in public is considered dangerous.

My friend taps me on the shoulder as our community applauds. She grins, her eyes shining.

“I can’t wait for the celebrations! We’ll get to wear colored clothing, and eat foods we’re not allowed to, and get to act like the people in the shiny books from school!”

“You mean the magazines? Harriet, those people didn’t eat. It would be unhealthy to look like them.” We break away from the crowd once the announcement ends, and head towards the South Tunnel.

Harriet shrugs, grabbing her shoes. “They look so…different. I like the ones that wear their hair down all the time. I wish we could do that.”

We pull on our shoes and walk down the South Tunnel, gazing up at the freshly painted mural. It shows our history, and how we corrected our flaws to become one of the last civilizations left.

After the scientists figured out that global warming would end the world, the builders elevated our communities. Some countries decided to build boats and submarines to live in forever, but they drowned. As far as anyone knows, America’s people are the only ones that survived the flooding. The communities are sparse, and there isn’t much contact with them.

“Johanna?” She’s not looking at me, just gazing at the paintings like I am. “Where did the others go?” She’s onto the last painting, where the ice caps are melting and people are drowning. “I mean, the other communities. Where are they?”

I pull her towards the other wall, where an old map of the world is hanging. Black lines are drawn across it to replace the faded borders.

“See the shape up top that looks like a dog? That used to be called Maine. Some people live in a community there.”

She nods and points to a small shape named Massachusetts. “And that’s us!”

As soon as she presses the shape, a small chime sounds throughout the South Tunnel. A nasally voice from the speakers states, “Community members are prohibited from touching the map. Number 107, should this be filed in your report as an accident which will not be repeated?

Harriet sighs and looks down at her feet. “Yes, the incident will not happen again.”

Thank you. We are pleased to hear that Number 107 will follow the rules.” There is a screech of mic feedback, and then the voice is gone.

Harriet is shaking, her eyes wide. “That was the third time I’ve been warned for correction this month. I’m going to have to be corrected if I slip up a fourth time.” I frown, thinking of the few times I’ve been warned of correction all my life. I know how important neatness and promptness are in our community. I hope Harriet won’t be corrected. They never are quite the same after.

“Come on! I don’t want to be late,” I whisper. We run to the exit and pull the huge door open.

 

TWO

 

The south end of our community is where all our homes are. We take off our shoes and sprint down the path towards a raised platform. I press the button for my home and a tunnel lights up. I start down the walkway after waving to Harriet.

I open the door to my home, looking for my little brother and my mom. “Owen?” I step into the living room and take off my jacket. There is no answer.

“Mom?”

My mom pokes her head out from the study door. “In here!”

I smile and hang up my jacket, then join them in the next room.

The study is tiny, just like our home, and it’s very plain. My mother is reading to Owen from one of the sites on the computer. I smile and take a place at my desk, digging out the flash drive from my pocket and fitting it into the slot in the desk.

The computer starts up, and it asks me one of the questions from my lesson today.

What is the procedure for apocalypse-related incidents?”

I grin, feeling proud. I know this one by heart.

“Walk to the raised platform in the south end of the community and press the 9 button twice. Then lie down and rest,” I repeat carefully. We’re supposed to sleep peacefully so that we won’t try to run when we die.

Very good. Proceed to internet use. Please use responsibly.”

My favorite site pops up on the screen, and I scroll down quickly. It’s a story site, with tales for kids that are written by government-approved writers. I was in the middle of a story about a girl that followed all the rules of her community and grew up to be a painter of the murals in the North Tunnel. I sigh, reading about the girl’s fantastic adventures.

“What are you thinking about?”

I turn to face my mom. It’s standard procedure to ask what another person is thinking, but I like to think people are just being polite.

“I’m thinking about being a government-approved writer when I grow up. I could create stories for people to read!”

My mom chuckles and closes her computer temporarily. “Johanna, you know that the genre of writing has to be chosen by the leader of the community. You can’t ask for realistic fiction writing in your job description.”

“I know, I know.” I scroll down farther to read another story about our community leader. “But what if I got a realistic fiction assignment from the government, and then…”

My brother starts crying when the computer talks about the Earth flooding. I pick him up and bring him into the living room after closing my computer.

“Johanna? Owen?”

“Dad!” I rush over to him. He grins at me after hanging up his jacket next to mine.

“Did you hear when the world is going to end? Did you?” I’m jumping up and down, barely being able to control myself.

“Yes, I did. August 8th, right?” He waves to my mom, who is now in the living room.

“Yeah! There’s going to be a huge celebration, and in only a few days!” I check the calendar in the kitchen: only one week until the three days of celebration.

“One week left! One week left!” I sing. My mom and dad chuckle, and Owen starts giggling. My mom walks into the dining room, shaking her head at our silly reactions. We all follow her, with my little brother in my dad’s arms.

I take my place at the dinner table and straighten my clothing. My parents do the same, and Owen reaches for his bib. With great difficulty, I manage to tie it around his neck.

“Can I press the button?” I look up at my dad timidly.

“Of course.”

I grin and reach for the circle in the middle of the table, hitting it with the tips of my fingers. The side of our house opens up, and our dining table moves down a treadmill.

The tables of each family move to the platform, with each table taking up a corner of the octagon shape. My dad stands up, and we all follow as the community leader emerges from the tunnel.

“Thank you, families of the community. As you all know, our scientists have found the answer to the question that has been on our minds for so long. The end of the world will be on August 8th.” A great cheer rises up from the families.

The community leader chuckles once the applause dies down. “This means that the three days of celebration are in just a week. I advise you to get some rest, spend time with your family, and be happy!  We only have a few more days to thank the Earth for what it has given us.”

I dig into my dinner and watch the laughing families around us. If this is a plain, basic, community with only the essentials, then I can’t wait for the luxury of the celebration.

 

THREE

 

-one week later-

 

“Harriet!”

“Johanna!”

“Oh my goodness!”

We run out of our houses and meet at the entrance to the tunnel, our faces red.

“This is going to be the best celebration ever!” I cry. My parents trail behind me in their special occasion outfits, and my brother toddles over to us. He learned how to walk the day after the announcement, and he’s been the main source of excitement in our community.

“Let’s go!”

We pull on our shoes and race down the tunnel, stopping at the huge metal door. My dad pushes it open, and the community gasps at the sight.

A huge train takes up the meeting place, and most of the government leaders sit inside. We slowly walk towards it and stop when a door slides open. The community leader steps outside and addresses us.

“Good morning, everyone,” she says. “I know you are frightened, but there is really no need to be.” We all relax instantly.

“This train is going to take us to another part of the world, where there are celebrations all the time. But you must know why we do not allow this. We will show a documentary on the train ride there, about how constant celebration is not at all what it seems.” She walks back into the train after motioning for us to come inside.

Harriet, always the bold one, runs onto the train and finds seats for the two of us. I scoop Owen up and step inside. The rest of the community filters in and sits down. As soon as everyone is seated, screens come down from the ceiling and stop in front of us. I don’t really want to watch the movie. I’d rather see the train start moving, but there are no windows. I guess they don’t want us to see the other, primitive villages that got flooded.

The movie starts playing, and I reluctantly turn my attention to the screen. Owen is already drooling like a faucet onto my shoulder, so I sit him between Harriet and me.

Long, long ago, there was a beautiful place called Earth,” the documentary announces. “People were happy, and they rejoiced when their crops grew and were ready to harvest. They did this every year, and it was called Thanksgiving.” There are scanned pictures and paintings on the screen, with many people eating with their community. I smiled. It seemed like a fun time of the year.

There was another holiday, which was modeled after the birth of their community leader. The people gave items to others wrapped in colorful paper, and they took trees inside their homes and decorated them.” Harriet and I stifled a giggle. In our lessons, we had learned that trees were ancient things that only grew outside. Why put a tree inside your house?

There were many other holidays like this, where people would eat rich food and receive material items. They started to think that objects were the only important things in life, and that a green slip of paper could be worth wars. The green paper was called money, and the people got greedy and fat.” The screen changed to a crude drawing of many people, with inflated bodies and little heads. Their eyes were cold and black, and they held wads of green paper in their chubby fists. Owen woke up and started crying at the sight of the inflated people.

Luckily, the community leader’s grandfather knew this had to change. He asked some of his friends to help him, and they got people back to their normal size. He was the greatest hero the world had ever seen.

Of course, some people didn’t want to change back. They liked being fat and evil and ugly.” The narrator spits out each insult onto our faces, scaring the little children and disgusting the adults.

The fat people attacked our community leader’s grandfather, and he fought back courageously. He saved us all from turning out like the inflated people.” I gasped and held Owen close to me. I couldn’t imagine being like the people in the drawings.

So we built our communities, and saved ourselves from the global warming that the fat people had caused. They tried to build boats to stay alive during the flooding, but they drowned.” Harriet turned and whispered in my ear. “How could they have caused the global warming?”

I frown, just noticing that they never said that. “I guess it was the making of the material items that they loved,” I whisper back.

The documentary ends with a click, and the doors slide open again. The community leader smiles and gestures outside. “Welcome,” she says. As we rush out the doors, she calls after us.

“Remember the documentary- we took this away for a reason.”

 

FOUR

 

The crowd of people are too noisy to stand in, so I drift away from them. The trees bend over the walkway and block the magnificent sunset.

“Hey.”

I jump, turning around and glaring at Harriet.

“Don’t do that! It freaked me out.”

Harriet grins. “Sorry. It was funny.”

I roll my eyes and keep walking towards the building in the distance. I’m pretty sure it’s our temporary dwelling spot for the next two nights.

She runs up to me and matches my stride.

“So…”

I look at her. “So, what?”

“So, are you going to the library, or…?”

I stop and peer into the darkness. “That’s a library?” We only had seen them in our lessons, but they sounded really fun. I’m sure they had lots of stories on the computers there.

“Yeah. So do you wanna go?”

“Uh, sure…”

Harriet grabs my arm and starts running, dragging me behind her. We run to the library and pull the door open.

The library is small, with wooden shelves and one dusty computer in the back. I slowly sit down on one of the armchairs.

Suddenly I notice dozens of artifacts on the shelves. I pick the nearest one up to examine it.

It’s small and cloth-bound, with little golden words carved into the outside. The words are too faded to read, so I open it instead. There are pages and pages of paper, with words on them written in ink.

“What is this?” I whisper, flipping through the story. This doesn’t exactly seem…government-approved.

“It’s a book.”

I closed the book, feeling trapped. That was definitely not Harriet’s voice.

That was a boy’s voice.

I slowly turn around. “Hi.” Darn it, I got caught!

“Harriet,” I whisper.

She walks over to us, already deep into another book. She looks up and almost drops the book she was holding.

“Uh- we thought we were allowed to be here! But we’re not! We’ll go now!” Harriet grabs my hand and pulls me towards the door.

“We can’t leave with the books!”

“She’s right, you can’t.” The boy holds his hand out, and Harriet drops her book into his hand without another word. I hand the boy my book too.

He looks at the first page. “You really want to read this?”

“It was the first book I picked up,” I say awkwardly. I kind of want it back now.

He puts the books down and gives me another book from the shelves. I can read the writing on the glossy cover. Something about a photography issue?

“Hey, that looks like the magazines we have in our community!” Harriet whispers, looking over my shoulder at the cover.

The boy looks at us curiously. “Are you two from the community in Massachusetts?”

Harriet and I look at each other. “It used to be called that.”

He nods. “I’m Hugh.”

“Johanna.”

“I’m Harriet, and we need to go. Bye!” We run out of the library with the magazine.

She turn to me and clutch it tight. “Where am I going to put this? If anyone finds out we took this, we’ll get in huge trouble!”

I think for a minute, then walk into the building. Almost everyone’s outside, so no one sees us.

Once I get to my room, I place the magazine between the sheets and the mattress. I pull Harriet into the hallway and talk to her quickly.

“You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? No one. If they find out, we could both be corrected, and our lives would be ruined! We need to go to bed soon, so I’ll stay in my room. You go to your room and pretend like nothing happened.”

Harriet runs back to her room and closes the door carefully. I close the door to my room quickly. I’m too nervous to sleep, so I’ll just read the magazine.

I take it out from under the sheets and burrow under the covers. Flipping the pages, I gasp at the colors and people they have managed to capture. There are crowds of people with many different skin and hair colors. I think back to the boy in the library, named Hugh. He looked…different from us, now that I think about it. I wonder how many people are still alive with the bright blue eyes that he had. I flip through more of the pages and stop at one that looks like him. There is a baby with tan skin and bright blue eyes. I read the caption at the bottom:

Only around 10 people have this combination of skin color and eye color in the world.”

This is too old to be true anymore, so the number of people that look like him must be even smaller now. I put the magazine back under the sheet and try to go to sleep, turning off the light and staring up at the ceiling.

Hugh must be different from other people in the world. I remember when I used to be proud of my thin blond hair and dark brown eyes, grateful to blend in with so many other people in our community. I used to pity Harriet for standing out with her bright red hair.

I want to be different, too.

I decide to run up to the library next morning and ask Hugh for paper and a pen. Maybe, if I can’t look different, I could write a story of my own and be different.

 

FIVE

 

-August 8th, 3:17 pm-

 

The community leader’s voice rings out from the speakers for the last time.

Please follow the apocalypse-related incident procedure. This is not a drill.

I snap my head up from my desk, finishing the last bits of my story. The paper is soft from two day’s worth of writing and crossing out many words. Hugh taught me how to copy the letters on my computer and write them on the page. I spent the whole two days in the library with him, just writing letters over and over and over again.

I stuff the paper into my pocket, reading through the story in my head.

“Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jo.”

My brother starts crying, so I lift him up and whisper the story to him.

“She lived in a community where the people thought they had everything.”

He stops crying and listens, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

“But they didn’t. They were missing out on so many good things.”

I run through the tunnel and put on my shoes.

“Like colors, and inspiration, and stories of their own.”

I have to set Owen down to lace them up, and he starts whimpering again.

“So she stole something from someone.”

He hugs my leg tightly. I carry him onto the platform.

“It was the right thing to do.”

No one else is there, but I still whisper. There could be cameras watching us.

“She tore up the book and scattered the pages all over.”

I can see one of the pictures from the magazine that I hid around the community.

“She wanted the people to find the photos and remember the past.”

I press the 9 button twice.

“Maybe someday they will understand.”

Owen and I lie down and try to sleep.

“Until then…

She will wait.”

More people come and lie down with us. I whisper the words over and over again until we both fall asleep. I hope other communities know what they’re missing, and how they can fix it. I close my eyes and wait, just thinking about nothing.

 

I hear Owen crying, far away from me. I reach out to him, but feel nothing. Someone’s head is pressing into my stomach.

I open my eyes and look down. It’s dark, but I can make out a few shapes. Owen is whimpering into my shirt, and we’re still on the platform. Everyone’s still sleeping, waiting to die. I wonder what the community leader’s doing. Is she sleeping too?

Wait a minute.

I sit up and pull Owen close to me again. I check my watch.

4:25 pm.

What?

I reach out to Harriet and tap her on the shoulder.

“Harriet, wake up.”

She doesn’t move. I lay Owen down and shake her until she wakes up.

“Johanna? What’s going on?”

I pull Owen into my lap again.

“Harriet, it’s 4:25. The apocalypse didn’t happen.”

“What?”

I look around quickly and whisper in Harriet’s ear.

They were wrong.”

 

Lonely Brooklyn Nights

Starts up going great,

Then it ends it bein late.

Sittin on the bench thinkin’ about how ima survive this world,

Almost 10 o’ clock,

Still bored and the moon shinin like a pearl.

Light one up and still bored.

But, it’ll take things off my mind.

Remember them days when I was young and I was chillin,

Now things gettin hectic and people killin,

Somebody that was younger and wishin,

That life would get 100 times better and go kill it

The Girl With The Map Face

The girl with the map face has lived on my block since I moved here twelve years ago. She lives in a small two story house with a small one story tree in the front yard. I’ve never seen anyone else in her house. She must live alone. I wish I lived alone. But my house is always filled with things that won’t go away. There’s a cherry blossom tree in the bath and there’s a brownstone in my living room. My kitchen is filled with giraffes and a bird’s nest grew at the foot of my bed. Sometimes new things pop up and sometimes the old ones grow. Some were there when I moved in but they were smaller then. About the size of saplings.

 

Today I’m out of orange juice so I head to the store. Walking down my block I see the girl with the map face. As she walks she laughs. Head back, shoulders heaving she laughs wholeheartedly. I wish I could see what she was laughing at, but maybe I did and just didn’t find it funny. She could’ve been laughing at the sound of someone stirring their tea in the café. Or at the laundry making rounds in the laundromat on the corner. Or at a fly that buzzed past her. She’s funny that way.

She turns with me as I make a left into the parking lot of the supermarket. We walk along past the parked cars and the lost shoes and the shopping carts. People turn to look at her as they walk by, wondering if they’ve seen her correctly. When they do she smiles and waves. I’ve never been as confident as that. I’ve never been anything like her. She walks into the store, opening her arms wide as the automatic doors swoosh open. Once she’s in she shuts her arms together as the doors swoosh close. She laughs and turns on her heel, disappearing inside. I follow shaking my head, almost in embarrassment, at the people staring in shock or disgust. They’ve never understood the girl with the map face the way she understands herself. They’ve never understood themselves the way she understands them.

 

* * * * * *

 

My name is Johnny Garage and I love people-watching. I’m good at it too, I notice the smallest details. On the subway my favorite thing is seeing people’s pupils race as they follow the signs on platforms as they rush past them. My second favorite thing is making up stories about people in my head. New York City is a good place for people-watching. There are stories walking down the street, in the park, in the library. My notebook is almost full with them, their lives and thoughts and what they’re eating for lunch spread out across my wrinkled pages. I have several sections devoted to the girl with the map face. Each page suggesting a different disaster for her to overcome. Volcanic eruptions, or robberies, or murder mysteries, or lost in the desert, or something.

 

Today’s subway ride home has a sobbing baby at one end of the car and a man playing loud music at the other. It starts to get to me and so I decide to lose myself in the girl with the map face’s miraculous escape from an underwater cave. I am writing intently until we reach my stop. It’s late and the darkness outside shocks my eyes as they go from the flickering fluorescent lights to the pitch black outside.

I pass by the laundromat and the café and am walking by the playground, empty of kids now. A shadowy figure is laying on the bench. I can tell it’s her by the dreamy way she looks up at the stars. I stand outside the wrought iron gate and watch her. Her hands are up, pointing at the sky, tracing constellations. She lifts her head suddenly and smiles up at me. Lit up by the streetlamps and the moonlight, she sits up and beckons to me. I stay there, watching, waiting. She turns away with her back to me. I cautiously take a few steps in, then a few more until I’m there, sitting on the bench next to her. She doesn’t look at me or say anything. We sit there in silence. The girl with the map face and I are sitting in silence.

We stay there for a while, watching the sky, watching each other. Then she turns to me. “You should come over sometime.” She hops up and walks away. I sit in the dark a while longer.

 

A map has attached itself to the wall in my stairwell. That’s the way it is with the things in my house. They spring up out of nowhere and nothing I can do will tear them down. I wonder if the map could have anything to do with tonight. I don’t know how it knew. How my house knew.

The goldfish bowl in my cupboard has grown to the size of an oven. My cereal boxes are pressed up against it, fighting for the bit of room left on the shelf. I pull them out, make myself some cereal, and eat. Some of my best thinking is done over cereal.

 

I don’t know how I know, but I can tell that today is the day she wants me to come over. The map in the hall grew a few inches and when I walk out to get the paper it winks at me the same way she beckoned last night. I sit at the kitchen table. What if she isn’t home? What if she doesn’t actually want me there? I can’t think about it too hard so I get dressed. I stand in the doorway of my house looking out at the sidewalk. There’s a sharp red line folding down over the stairs and curving sharply left, sketching out the way to her house. It propels me to walk, to go down the stairs and follow it. Her house is finally there, looming with a kind of forgetfulness. I open the gate. I’ve never even thought about opening her gate. I’m the kind of person that watches. And now here I am, opening her gate. The walkway up to her door is the same as any other but it feels different. I stand on her porch and hesitate. But the red line urges me forward and I ring the buzzer. A bell sounds throughout the house and then I can see her coming towards me, opening the door. She’s standing in front of me. She is barefoot, her toenails painted an orchid shade of pink. She grins at me. “I’m glad you came.” I follow her inside.

The girl with the map face leads me through her house. I don’t look at any of it as it goes by. I look at the back of her neck, forming delicate creases as she turns her head around to smile at me. I look at her arms dragging along the walls, her fingers tracing the picture frames. I look at her heels and the way they pound the floor making a thud that spreads like a spiderweb through the house. We reach the back door and walk out into the backyard. It’s small and grassy and in the center is a blanket, food laid out on top of it. She turns to face me. “I thought a picnic would be nice.”

We eat ham sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies. “I’m sorry, I’m not the best cook,” She says. I shake my head. “Oh, I don’t mind.” She lays back on the blanket and I do the same. “I’ve seen you before, you know. Before you came to the playground.” She turns her face to me. I could watch it for hours. “I know,” I say. I didn’t know. Her face flickers and for a second I can see the laughter from a few days ago.

“What do you write in your notebook?”

“Stories.”

“Am I in any of them?”

I contemplate a lie. “Yes.”

She sits up. “Why?”

I’m confused. “Why what?”

“Why am I in them.”

I have to think about this for a while.

“Because I like thinking about you.”

This makes her grin. She falls back onto the blanket. Her face is shining as she smiles and laughs, making the map dance.

“You like thinking about me,” She repeats. I don’t say anything.

“Let’s take a walk tomorrow,” She pronounces.

“A walk?”

“Yeah. A walk.”

I think about it. Then I say the only thing I can think of.

“Okay.”

 

* * * * * *

 

Tuesday was a drizzly day. The sky all grey and the clouds all grey and at sunset the clouds outlined in red. I stood on the corner, in front of the park where I saw her before. I checked my watch. Each girl I saw, each swinging hips, each long legs, each red lips, I thought it was her. But none, no face was her. And then she was coming down the street and her hair was streaming behind her as she ran and her cheeks were flushed behind the map and she was wearing a blue dress that I liked a lot. When she stopped in front of me I looked at her and I watched her pant and catch her breath. “How are you?” Never had I thought harder about a question. “I’m here,” I smiled. She grinned. “You are.”

 

We walked on down a long avenue. I hadn’t been to that part of the neighborhood before. At least not to my memory. I may have been there before but just didn’t see it. I think that when I’m with the girl with the map face I open my eyes wider.

 

We stopped in front of a church. Not a big one. Not one that belonged. Not one of the normal city ones, the ones made of brick or red and brown stone. Not one of the stacked monsters as present as air that practically shamed you into going. And it wasn’t one of the little ones. Not one of the falling down ones where Sunday School takes place in the basement. It was a country church, the kind you see in a Quaker town in Massachusetts or along the coast of Maine. Pale blue wood and a steeple with a cross on top, and white double doors left open. “Let’s go in,” said the girl with the map face. We traipsed up the steps and into the musty church.

 

The pews stretched far into the back, with a scattering of people draped along them. The church was dark and the wood floors creaked as we walked along to the front. The first few seats were all empty, the church-goers preferring the anonymity of the back pews. The girl with the map face sat down at the front in the very first row. I sat beside her. I’ve always liked churches. I like the way the air reverberates with a hum and how the electric fans spin lazily above you. I like the people who go in churches on Tuesday afternoons, the ones with repentance or pinchy high heel shoes. And I liked sitting among them, with a unanimous decision to leave the silence unwrinkled. I looked over at the girl with the map face. Her eyes were closed and her back was slumped and if I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve thought she was asleep. But I knew that behind her eyelids her pupils dilated and constricted and darted about as if she could still see it all.

 

We stayed in the church for a few minutes and then, startling me, the girl with the map face stood up and walked out. I stayed on the bench for a second and then ran to catch up. She was standing on the steps waiting for me. “Where to now?” She asked. The map crinkled as she smiled brilliantly at me. I shrugged. I liked that she left me speechless sometimes. “Are you hungry?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“Perfect.”

We walked down the street and as we turned at the corner she slipped her hand into mine.

 

After that Tuesday in October, I didn’t see her much. I looked for her when I passed the playground or at the orange juice in the supermarket. The other day I went by the church we had gone into. But for some reason our paths never crossed. Then one Saturday in November I was in my room when the phone rang. The telephone receiver was cold in my hand and the voice on the other end garbled. “Hello?”

“Johnny. It’s me.”

I knew who it was.

“Do you want to go to the museum tomorrow?”

Tomorrow?”

She laughed.

“Come on, Johnny!”

I thought about it for awhile. Or rather, I told myself I thought about it for awhile. I already knew what I was going to say.

“Alright. Let’s go to the museum.”

“Okay. Come to my house first.”

She hung up first.

 

The museum. We were going to the museum tomorrow. I liked the fact that she had called me first. I liked the fact that before calling she must’ve been thinking about me.

 

The museum was seven blocks and a long subway ride away. I met her at her house and then we walked to the train station. It was a pretty day, pink and blue and white sky and you could still see the moon a bit. The train was filled to the brim with people and they spilled out the second the doors burst open. We shuffled on and filled it back up with our haunted thoughts and plaid scarves and frozen breath. I leaned with my back against the pole and measured her with my eyes. She smiled silently at me and then slipped an earbud into my hand. We listened to songs I didn’t know. I tried to remember every word. I wanted to sing them to her.

 

We bought two tickets to an exhibit on the fourth floor, one I had never heard of. The art itself was unimportant to me. I just liked being with her. We talked about each piece and it didn’t matter that we were the only people talking. It didn’t matter that we were getting glared at from all directions. She made things stop mattering.

 

The girl with the map face seemed to always know the intent of the artist and exactly what the piece meant. Well perhaps she made it all up, but she said it with such conviction that I couldn’t help but think it was the only possible explanation.

 

After the exhibit we explored the gift shop. She slipped a postcard into her coat pocket. I pulled a pin up into my sleeve. We carried our stolen prizes outside, exchanging them on the street.

 

The day had changed from the pastel sky to a royal blue as we walked in the cold back to our lonesome block. “Come in,” she said as we stood outside her gate. We walked up the steps and she unlocked the door. In her room, a small one smelling of lavender, I sat on her bed while she rummaged beneath it for something. She pulled out a box and set it down beside me.

“These are pictures.”

“Of what?”

“Of everything. But mostly barbed wire. Barbed wire is one of my favorite things to photograph.”

She lifted off the lid and inside were hundreds of polaroids in mismatched stacks. I reached a hand in and pulled out a few. Barbed wire set against a blue sky, against a sunset, a dog in an alleyway, a lost shoe in a parking lot. A picture of herself, of a pale pink house, of a fire hydrant, of her friends. I pulled out stack after stack and looked at them all. She pointed out her favorites or told me what she was wearing the day she took it or something like that. And then I came across a picture of me. It was taken through the laundromat window on a day I didn’t remember.

“When did you take this?”

She thought. “I don’t remember exactly.”

I laughed a little bit thinking about my notebooks and about the endless stories I had written about her. Maybe I’d show them to her someday.

I felt strange when I was with her. I felt a gingerbread warmth that made your eyes sparkle and your cheeks blush, the bewilderment of Times Square and the rushing crowds like the tides, and a certain iciness and a fog over my eyes.

 

I reached home and sat on my bed staring off into the wall. A string of Christmas lights had appeared there.

 

* * * * * *

 

Over the next few weeks we went places. We went to the movies, to the beach, to libraries, we went to a casino. And then it was Christmas. And the thrift stores and Salvation Armies were filled to the brim with moth eaten red and green sweaters. And there were people in red bibs on corners, shying away from the cold and ringing their bells to keep their blood flowing. And then there was snow. There were snowmen in the streets and masses of children in the parks and I was in my pajamas staring out the window when I saw her. She was standing across the street in a long grey coat, and her cheeks were pink and her nose was pink, and her dark hair had a sprinkling of crystalline flakes glistening over it, and the map was blushing with chapped lips and melted snow. She didn’t look up at me, sitting alone by the window, drinking coffee and staring intently. Look up, look up, look up, I thought to myself. And then she did. And she laughed and smiled and waved up at me. I waved back and found myself thinking I had never seen someone look that good in New York City in the wintertime. She raised a Polaroid camera and I saw the flash go off. And then she skipped away, holding her developing photo to her chest. I smiled to myself and then went to watch TV.

 

“It’s funny how many songs there are about Santa Fe,” the girl with the map face said to me.

“How many are there?” I asked her.

“I don’t know… I can think of at least six just off the top of my head.”

“Well, why is that funny?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just never thought of Santa Fe as being important. You know, I could understand New York, or Texas, or California, and you know there are a lot about those. But why Santa Fe?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe people just like how irrelevant it is.”

“Well I’ve never been there. And I’ve never even thought about going there either.”

We were standing outside of a travel agency. The snow was falling heavily and everyone on the streets rushed past us. But we stood, in our overcoats and knit hats, outside of a travel agency. She turned to me.

“I want to see the Rockefeller tree.” She said with a smoky look in her eye.

“Let’s go see the tree.”

We took the F up to Rockefeller Center. As we walked we sang Christmas carols. She didn’t have a good voice but no one really cared. I didn’t have a good voice either. We shoved through the crowds and made our way up as close to the tree as you could get. She stood with her neck bent all the way back and stared with wonder. I looked at her and then at the tree, hoping to see whatever it was she thought so amazing. But all I saw was tree.

“It’s beautiful,” She murmured.

I shook my head. “I just see a tree.”

“But it’s more than that. Look closer.”

I did.

“See there, that’s the park where we met. And there, that’s the little church we went to. And there’s the museum. And there’s my backyard, the picnic we had. Don’t you see?”

I looked harder, and harder still.

And I didn’t see it.

Then she looked to me, “You see it don’t you?”

I looked to her. And that’s where I saw it. I saw it in her face. I saw wet pavements and Polaroids and sunsets and barbed wire. And it was breathtaking. I felt as though I was looking past her skin and past her skull, as if looking beyond the sky and seeing outer space.

“I see it,” I told her.

She nodded. “I see it too.”

 

We walked lazily home, swinging our arms. We stopped in a bar and got drunk and then swung our arms even more.

 

I walked her up to the porch of her house and kissed her sloppily on the cheek. That was Christmas Eve. And that was the last time I saw her. Some friends called me up Christmas morning and we went out to New Jersey and spent the day walking around and making fun of everything. I didn’t think about the girl with the map face until the next day, the day after Christmas, the loneliest day of the year for someone like me. I wanted to see her, but I didn’t call. And then a week later, on New Years day, I got a call from her. I wasn’t home for it, but after I got home from my friend’s party, I heard the message.

 

“Hey, Johnny. I… uh… It’s me. I need to tell you something.”

It was the first time the girl with the map face didn’t sound sure of herself.

“I’m leaving. I’m not leaving you, I’m just leaving… this. This place. I’m sorry, Johnny.”

She sounded so

“And It’s not as if I’ve been planning this for a while. I just decided. Last night. I’m so sorry, Johnny.”

Small. So unlike herself.

“I know you’re thinking about what you could’ve done to make me stay.”

I thought of what I could’ve done to make her stay.

“But I promise you, nothing. It was so absolutely not your fault, not anyone’s fault.”

I knew it was my fault. I knew I should’ve done something.

“Please Johnny, don’t be sad. Please just forget.”

Or she should’ve told me so that I could do something.

“I love you so much Johnny. I just woke up this morning and…”

She loved me. And yet she left me.

“I knew I needed to go to Santa Fe and I…”

She was in Santa Fe.

“I know why they write all the songs about it.”

“It’s because of the view. Because you can look around you and see everything, your whole life, spread out against the sand like a map.”

Like a map.

Like her.

 

* * * * * *

 

It’s been years since that day in rotten December. But I still write about her. I still stop outside of churches and travel agencies and listen for Santa Fe songs.

The map still hangs in the hallway. It’s grown a little bit since she left, it’s about the size of a doorway.

 

All in all she was classic rock radio stations and artificial cherry flavoring. She was leaves shaped like elephant ears and she was marathon runners and checkered floor tiles. She was black ankle boots and American Bandstand. I remember the days of the girl with the map face with a burnt orange kind of fondness.

 

I never saw her again. But once every year I receive a blank Santa Fe postcard and a pressed flower in the mail. There is no return address, no note. Yet even an idiot would know who it was from.

 

End.

Missing Mae

Bill woke up one morning and noticed he hadn’t quite realized how loudly his knees creaked before. He hadn’t noticed just how cold the hardwood floors got in the winter, hadn’t seen all the dirt on the windows. Had there even been any dirt, before Mae died? The stairs had been a challenge for a while, now. He kept meaning to buy a new cane after the other one broke a few days ago, but he never could bring himself to leave the house.

Soon, he knew, the food his son had bought when he’d been there two weeks ago would run out. Jack had bought him what felt like a year’s supply of food; Mae left the house constantly, so she only used to buy a few days’ worth of food at a time. And she was a wonderful cook, too. That’s what he’d first noticed about her when they started dating.

When he finally got down the stairs, Bill looked around at the living room. When had it gotten so dim-looking? Like an old folks’ home, he thought, that’s how it looks. And Bill always swore to himself he’d never let himself get stuck in an old folks’ home. He sat down on the couch, slowly. The dent in the cushion from years of sitting felt like an old friend. Bill always personified things. The therapist he’d once had had said it could be a sign of something serious. Bill didn’t know about that, much. Mae had said she loved his personifications, when he told her what Dr. Baxter had said.

He felt bad for the cushion that Mae used to sit in. He could relate to it. They both missed Mae. But at least Mae’s old cushion still had Bill’s cushion as a partner. Bill was on his own.

The phone rang, and Bill realized he should have listened to his neighbor and put a phone nearer to the couch. It was so hard just to stand up lately. And he’d only just sat down.

He groaned, feeling a pain in his back that he was starting to think maybe he should call a doctor about. “I’m coming,” he said to nobody in particular; maybe to the phone. “Hello?” he said, once he finally reached the other side of the room.

“Dad,” came the voice. “How you doing? How do you feel? Gone outside?” It was Jack.

“Yeah, I’m fine, kiddo,” said Bill. “Gone on walks, been to the…park.” It was all a lie, of course. But Bill had never been good at asking his son for help. And his son had never been good at knowing when Bill was lying.

“Great, great. Well, just checking in, making sure you’re doing okay. If you need anything, let me know, alright? I’m just a few miles away.”

“I’m sure I’ll be just fine, thanks. Tell Melissa I say hello.”

“Will do. Bye, Dad,” Jack said, and hung up. Back on the sofa, Bill turned on the television. He’d never watched it much when Mae was around. Now he could barely remember what he did when Mae was around. But it sure as hell didn’t have anything to do with a television.

He clicked the on button and the screen lit up, a man he didn’t like the look of yelling at him to “BUY USED CARS TODAY!” and holding a big blue flag. Bill changed the channel and another man he didn’t recognize, but assumed was famous, was being extensively talked about by a group of young men and women. All the people, all at once, unrecognizable, upset him. He didn’t know these people, didn’t know what they talked about, couldn’t even hear their voices clearly. And they made him feel so alone. He shut off the television in a hurry, ready to escape them all.

But what next? He really did need more food, really did need a cane. And he wouldn’t accomplish much by staying seated on the lonely couch forever. Bill barely knew where a person would go to get what he needed. Target, he’d heard Mae talk about. Target. She’d said there was one on every corner, it felt like. His stomach jolted when he thought about leaving the house, being in a room full of strangers. And he would need help, wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t he need help navigating what he assumed to be a big store? That meant talking to someone new.

Maybe I could have Jack do this, he thought. But worse than the thought of a room full of strangers was the thought of needing his son desperately. Needing anyone desperately. Bill had only let him buy the food because Jack hadn’t asked. Just showed up with it all.

The old man put his head in his hands. He’d known this would have to happen, sometime. Finding his way in the world without Mae, though…always seemed like it could never happen. And he never thought it’d happen this early, if ever.

His stomach growled angrily up at him. I can’t do this anymore, he thought.

And he felt like a coward. He felt angry.

The walls were suddenly the ugliest yellow he’d ever seen; the color of rotten mustard and dirty teeth. The carpet was too thick. He hated how he could see the little spills of coffee, or maybe tea. He hated how the kitchen table had to have a thin plastic-y tablecloth because he couldn’t trust himself with a normal, cloth one anymore.

And Bill hated himself. He felt nauseous, disgusted with himself and his old age and his horrible house. It was never a horrible house back when Mae lived in it, even though he assumed it must’ve looked just the same. But it couldn’t have looked just the same; Mae changed it.

At least the nausea meant he lost his appetite. With a grim smile, he thought that if only he could stay disgusted with himself, he would never have to eat again.

He pushed himself up from the couch, aching as he did so. He immediately regretted his decision; he realized he didn’t have a plan for what to do after he stood. But there stood Bill, head rushing from standing up with what didn’t used to qualify as speed. They had a guest room on the first floor of the house, so Bill decided to go to sleep. Maybe it was about time to move into that room permanently. His hunger was back.

He hadn’t wanted to touch the canned foods that Mae had left in the cellar. He didn’t want to disrupt anything Mae had made with her own hands. He would figure it out when he woke up.

The bed was softer than the one upstairs. This was a relief; it gave him an excuse to switch bedrooms. Not that there was anyone he would have to give an excuse to. But he almost felt like he had to give Mae an excuse for why he left the bedroom they’d shared for so many years in exchange for one that Mae had barely touched.

Bill’s eyes shut, his stomach crying out one more time. Eventually he would have to disrupt the cans of food.

He awoke when a shout came from the street. He turned his head and saw a little girl running past his window, chasing a little boy. The trees aren’t happy with the children’s noise, Bill thought. Neither am I. He wished he could let the trees know he understood, let them know they weren’t alone in their feelings.

He laid there for a moment, surprised to find himself in the guest room. “What the hell?” he muttered.

And then he got hit with remembrance, at the same time feeling a pang of hunger.

He decided he wouldn’t let himself starve; besides, Mae made that food for a reason. Why let all her hard work go to waste?

Slowly, he went downstairs, eventually reaching the door. It was heavier than he remembered, but it had been years since he’d tried to open it. It creaked loudly, and the smell of dust came through the doorway. The light flickered on once he managed to make the stiff switch budge upward. And there were shelves and shelves of jars and cans.

The jars were full of what looked like pickles, olives, blue and red and purple jams.

There were cans of peaches, raspberries, pineapples, and pears. Mae had also kept paper towels on the lower shelves, though Bill wasn’t sure how well he could bend to reach those. He was so relieved to see how well Mae had prepared for a storm. But it saddened him, knowing that she would never know how helpful she’d been. And his pride in her only made him miss her more.

With a sigh, Bill pulled down a can of peaches and a jar of pickles. He hoped he made the right decision. He didn’t want to upset the other foods. “Goodbye,” he said, as he flicked off the light to the cellar and made his way upstairs. He would be back for dinner.

The stairs groaned sadly as he stepped on each one, the wooden planks unused to his heavy feet.

When he reached the kitchen, Bill found the can opener and a bowl. He dumped the peaches in, only realizing afterward that he didn’t even like peaches much. But then again, he didn’t like anything, much, anymore.

He sat in the chair and ate the peaches quickly. He barely even tasted them, but smiled as he thought of Mae’s careful hands slicing the peaches what must have been years ago.

The window watched him, feeling his loneliness. The old man felt bad and, with a great deal of effort, shut the blinds. He didn’t want to cause any sadness to anyone else.

When the peaches were done, he didn’t want the pickles. He left them on the table, figuring he could use them for dinner. He rinsed out the bowl and placed it on a towel to dry.

He had a headache; he could feel it coming on. He walked to the bathroom and forgot what he went there for the moment he saw his reflection. He looked like the dogs with sad eyes and droopy ears. Bloodhounds. He used to have a bloodhound named Georgia. He missed Georgia, now, too. When had his eyes gotten so bagged and wrinkled? When had his hair become so thin? He used to be a handsome man, he knew. In high school he’d had many girlfriends, but hadn’t liked any of them much. He’d never been in love till his sophomore year of college, when he met Mae.

He nearly walked away without the aspirin, but the dull throbbing in his head reminded him once more.

He opened the bottle but couldn’t pick which pills to take. He felt that if he offended one it would surely not work the way he wanted it to. “I’ll dump the bottle and take the first two,” he said. He felt that this satisfactorily explained the situation to the pills.

Bill poured two pills into his hand. “Sorry,” he said into the rest of the bottle, and shut it. Swallowing the medicine, he hoped he’d made the right decision. He didn’t want to hurt anyone.

He was suddenly tired again. It was four o’clock. He walked into the guest room and laid down again, on the other side of the bed this time. He decided to spend an equal amount of time on each side of the bed, so that both sides felt useful. He would do his best to make the bed feel as if Mae was in it, too.

He couldn’t fall asleep as quickly, this time. He just sat in the bed, thinking that maybe he should read. Or maybe he should try the television one more time. He might as well get used to it. Maybe he would learn to like it, even.

After what felt like hours, Bill decided to leave the room and read. The bed was unhappy that he hadn’t slept, he knew. It felt like it hadn’t done its job. It probably wished he was Mae. He couldn’t blame it. He would wish the same.

When he reached the bookshelf he realized he hadn’t read since before Jack visited. It’s been too long since I’ve used my brain, Bill thought. He shut his eyes, randomly choosing a book from the shelf.

Reading felt good. It felt like he was himself again. He didn’t know why he hadn’t done it in so long. Time felt faster when he read. Until he remembered that he was alone in the room. Then he could barely read the words, so he shut the book and stared out the window. The worst thing about missing someone, he thought, is that the only thing that could ever make you feel better is being with them. He couldn’t escape. He said, “how could you do this to me?” And the pattern on the rug swirled and he swore he could see Mae’s face for a moment. She was disappointed, he knew. He wasn’t living well enough without her. And she had always taken such good care of him.

The phone rang, distracting him momentarily. He picked up. “Dad!” said Jack.

“Hey there,” Bill replied. “How are you, son?”

“I’m fine. You know I’m calling to ask you the same thing.”
“I’m doing alright. Read a book, ate some peaches, took a nap. Took a walk. Went to the grocery store. Learning to like the television, even. I’m doing great.” Bill was lying through his teeth, praying the bit about the TV wasn’t too far-fetched for his son.

It wasn’t. “That’s really great, Dad. So good to hear. Do you need anything? Mel and I are on our way to the mall now, anyway, and it’s not that far from your house.”

“I’m really fine. Don’t worry about a thing.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Bye, Dad.”

“See you.” And he hung up with a click.

Bill had never been a religious man. He wasn’t disdainful of religion; he just hadn’t felt that he could use it in his own life. But lately he’d been praying.

When Mae started looking worse and worse, he prayed that she would live.

After she died, he prayed that he would be able to live without her.

And now he prayed for this again, but with a little less hope.

He also prayed that his son would never realize the poor shape his lonely father was in.

He was embarrassed. The walls were seeing him in a way he’d hoped they never would. He felt that Mae could see him through the walls. He wished he could be somewhere empty, somewhere where there were no walls or cushions or pills to be saddened by his inability to live without Mae.

The floor wished it could help him, the empty can of peaches he had thrown out earlier thought it deserved something more than just being tossed in the garbage. It deserved a monument. The burned-out lightbulb on the ceiling was upset that Bill had been ignoring it for so long. The whole world pitied Bill. And he hated being pitied.

He felt trapped, but didn’t want to go outside. He couldn’t bear the thought of opening himself up to more people’s sympathetic eyes. The sadness of his own house was bad enough.

So there he was, standing by the phone, praying as best as he knew how. He hoped it would be enough.

“I know I don’t pray a lot,” he said out loud. “I hope you don’t hold that against me. I just…things aren’t going so well.” He cringed when he heard himself say this. “I’m fine,” he decided, unable to leave his previous words just hanging in the air.

 

What Doesn’t Kill U Can Only Make U Stronger

INTRO

They say what don’t kill you will make you stronger. I’m still here, so what does that mean? The hood has a way of engulfing everything in its path and spitting it back up. They say there aren’t many places for young black men like me. 75% are sitting in the pin. 20% laying in a coffin. 4% are lucky to get a job at a chicken spot. But there’s that 1% that makes something of themselves. That 1% does whatever it takes.

 

Chapter 1

I’m James B. Smith. I have long black hair. The shortey love a dude with longer hair than most of their friends. I was born in Harlem but lived in Bronx all my life. I was named after my father. I guess the scars of him raping her and beating her half to death wasn’t enough for my mother. It’s bad enough that every time she looks at me, all she can see is him. Ever since he went in for life bid, all she does is lay in her bed and stick needles in her arm.

 

It seems if you don’t get pulled in by the diamond bags, you get pulled in by the scumbags that call themselves Bloods. My older brother was too strong for the dimes, but he needed money so he joined the Bloods and started doing crime. He used to always say, “I’m doing this so you never go to sleep hungry.” But he got so deep in the game, it ended up being that he was the only one hungry. The game ain’t nothing to play with. You got to be hungry for it or it will throw you in with the wolves.

 

But I’ve always known closed mouths don’t get fed. You have to give a little to get a little. Living in the hood, I would see them dudes on the corner on the way to school every day singing the same old song and dance and when I got back from school they still in the same place I left them.  These dudes feel that they were put in this cage called hood and there was no way out . They feel that is all life has to given. My father was a bitch, my mother was a jokey, there no place for me but on this streets. If I don’t go and get mines who will?

 

Chapter 2

If I’m not playing chess on the computer, I’m hanging with my friends. There is Charles who thinks he could be Lebron James. But he couldn’t make a jump shot if his life depended on it. Then there is B.J., Charles’ little brother who thought he was the Mac Daddy with that big hole in his ADIDAS.

 

Then there was my home girl Brittany, but we call her Flicks. She had a way of putting the most beautiful thing and the worst thing in a frame together.

 

 

Chapter 3

I first started playing chess when I was 7-years-old. There was something about being able to think ahead and learning to predict what comes next. But chess is only a hobby. It will not take you any where. Then it hit me. I know what I had to earn.
There was something my mother used to say: God works in mysterious ways. That’s before the needle became more important than God. And at the very moment, I turn on the TV and there it was….my way out of the hood.

 

Chapter 4

A chess tournament for $10,000 and a chance to go to Stuyvesant High School. But you must have a rank of 200 or more and I had no rank. I wasn’t raised like one of them little white prick rich kids or I didn’t have a grandfather who thought that chess would bring them closer or the parents who want their kid to be everything they wasn’t. Instead, I am a young black male from the Bronx whose never thought that he would have the opportunity to sit among other 8th graders and do the one thing I love without being judged. But I was determined to fight hard.

 

 

Chapter 5

I spent days in the library looking at French master, British master, anything I could get my hands on.  I had never stepped a foot in a library before.  I always had a library card, but I never thought I would use it. The librarian could tell that I had never been in the library before. It was a small lady, probably hispanic, with long grey hair.

I approached the desk and said, “Do you have any books about chess?”

She looked up and said, “Yes. Aisle 3.”

I started reading.

She approached me and asked “What are you so interested in?”

 

One day on my way leaving the library I ran into Flicks. At first, I didn’t want anyone to know but I thought it would be nice to have someone to cry on when I lose. Or someone to hug if I win and get this money.

 

Plus my mother will be too wasted to leave her bed. Charles and BJ would be too hood for the white folks. They scare one white girl with those lame punch lines “If you go black you can’t go back.”

 

Then there was Flicks. She is smart. She can hide her slang, and I’m dying to be her new star in one of her new portfolios.

 

The day after I told Flicks about my tournament, she invited me to play chess with some of her friends. I decided to take Flicks up for her invitation. I was surprised that it wasn’t a bunch of nerds, kids with big framed glasses, and braces. In no time, I felt fine. It felt like chess was normal. There was nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

I started to go to small tournaments in junior high school.

 

The first time I walked into one of these tournaments, I had never seen a gym with both rims still attached. The floor was so clean,you could eat on it without your sandwich turning black and bathroom had no graffiti at all. I now realize that I was a long way from the hood .

 

I was scared shitless. Every time I moved, a piece my heart dropped. The game only lasted 30 minutes, but it seemed like forever. She never looked up. She was zoned to the board. Her face was like a stone-faced killer. Each time she called “check” she would make this face like “What, you don’t want none of this?”

 

I failed many tests and lost my basketball games, but losing to her made me feel so bad. It took a lot from me. I lost so much confidence. It didn’t matter that I won all the rest of my games that day. I felt like I didn’t want to play chess ever again.

 

Chapter 6

 

If I had just beat the 9 year old I would have came in first place. I also learned there was a lesson to be learned from my experience. My first lesson was: never underestimate your opponent.

 

The next tournament I went to, I found some friends that I used to play chess with in school. I was 4-0. I had one game left. I ended up playing one of my old friends, Anthony. While we played, we chopped it up about old times. Losing my focus, I ended up turning a game I should have won into a draw. My second lesson: no one is your friend during the game. Only opponents.

 

When you do something, you develop skills at what you are doing. I learned that king may the most important piece on the board. But what is a man without his woman beside him, holding him down? So with that said, you can now understand why all the power goes to the queen on the board. The best way to break a man down, go for his heart. Nothing hurts a man more than taking his woman. That’s why most people crumble when I take their queen. Even if it means the best way to do it is queen for queen. For me, these girls aren’t loyal. Which brings me to my last lesson: it’s not over til it’s over.

 

Chapter 7

 

They say money makes the world go round. So my world is about to become square. Tournament after tournament. It was becoming harder and harder to find money to get there and back, and each tournament used to cost $5 but now it was $10. And the the final tournament costed $200 to enter. But that wasn’t the biggest problem I had.

 

Chapter 8

 

See as much as I talk down about my mother, I lover her and us as kids never realized that becoming a parent doesn’t come with a book on how to deal with your kids, “Parenting 101.” There is one rule that I never understood. Why is it that there are some things a woman can’t teach a man?

 

I guess that what I’m trying to say is through it all, all I got is her and all she got is me.

 

I guess I’m writing this ‘cause there are people in my life I say “They’re old, so they going to die. Or they’re sick, so I need to say my goodbyes and farewells, but not my mother!!”

 

Chapter 9

 

Losing my mother never crossed my mind. It hurt watching her in the ER due to an overdose. Watching her there and knowing that there was nothing I could do, that can eat a person up. From the inside.

 

I sat there thinking about all the things I wanted to tell her, about all the things I was sorry for or if I didn’t say I love you enough. I felt so weak, I fell to my knees, and begged God not to take her from me. I stayed on my knees and kept begging all night long. The next morning I was on my way to school from the hospital, I was just leaving her room when I heard a soft voice that said, “James baby, is that you? Come and sit with Momma.” I was so happy. I guess this was the start of a new life.

 

Chapter 10

 

A week after my mom overdosed, I was helping washing clothes. I went to put her socks in her clothes drawer and I found two needles and a crack spoon that was still warm. Three weeks after I felt that things were getting better.

 

I remember leaving for school. When I left, she was sleeping. I got off school late, so I decided to get my mother some flowers. When I got home, she was still sleeping, so I put the flowers in some water. Then I went to tuck her in, and there was the needle still sitting in her arm.

 

Chapter 11

 

Seeing that hurt me. That I cared about her life more than she did. I guess that she was willing to give up and leave me all alone. If she wanted to waste her life with them drugs, then I’m going to keep on living, with or without her. But I was left with a lot of questions that were left unanswered, so I needed to go to the only person who understands my mother more than I do.

 

Chapter 13

 

All I could think about on this long drive to my father in Sing Sing is how a man could do what my father did and still live to think about it every day and not want to die. My mother loved him, and would have done anything for him. I guess my mother named me after him because I reminded her of all the good things about my father that she loved.

 

 

Chapter 14

 

When he approached to the glass, I sat down I didn’t expect him to look so calm and at peace and educated. He looked nothing like the young thug who liked to hurt women like I expected. He looked at me and said, “Are you taking care of her?” And then sent me an envelope with $200 and said, “Keep playing chess,” and walked away. But I still had so many questions that were unanswered and how the hell did he know that I was playing chess?

 

Chapter 15

After waiting, the day was here. It was game time. Flicks looked at me and said, “No matter what happens, you are still the only man I’ve ever wanted.” She then gave me a big kiss, and walked away. I’m not going to lie, my legs felt like noodles and I was sweating bullets but it was like zero degrees in the room. I always thought that Brittany was cute, but I never felt like she would give me the time of day. “No”, I said, “I gotta get my head in the game. It’s game time.”

 

Chapter 16

My first opponent was a little white girl with green eyes, and she looked like she was more scared than me. I was beginning to be able to see her fear and it gave me confidence. With each piece I moved, I saw her lose her confidence. I beat her and moved to the second round.

 

My next opponent was a young Mexican boy. He could only speak Spanish, and all he could say was, “My name is Jesus.” Looking at him, he looked dumb. It looked like he couldn’t even read the label on the board or figure out which piece was black and white. I forgot the first rule I learned while working to get here (don’t underestimate your opponents). But I guess I understood when he said, “Jaque mate.” I lost, but now I understood if I won it, any chance at winning this tournament I had to use. Everything I learned in my struggles to get where I am now. Plus, I worked too hard to get this far and I was not going to give up now.

 

My third opponent looked more focused on his music than on playing this game. By me seeing him not focused, I decided to also not focus. Keep looking in the stands for Flicks. Finally when I decided to get my head in the game, it was over. I had lost.

 

Chapter 17

My next opponent was Linda, the Chinese girl I had played in my first tournament, but now I knew her name and her game, and I was going to bring my A-game and something new up my sleeve. Do you remember the librarian I met while searching in the library? It just so happens that she was two-time chess champion. She showed me something which is called the “French Opening.” It goes like this: pawn to E4, knight to F3, pawn to D4, knight to C3, bishop to E3, and last but not least bishop to D3. I sat through all this whole game I had this glow of confidence and if it couldn’t get any better, my mother was clean for six months now and there cheering me on at the tournament. But I still didn’t see Flicks.

 

Chapter 18

This was the last step, but I was nowhere ready for what came next. I was walking toward my board, and I looked and there was Flicks. Flicks was my final opponent. I didn’t even know she played chess. This was the longest and hardest game of my life. I had to sort my emotions from my thoughts or it would’ve been tragedy in this game. But if I was willing to lose, it would be for her. I wouldn’t have any regrets or any second thoughts about it. I know that the rules are that I must look at her as my opponent, but she’s not my opponent, she’s my friend. I really didn’t care that I lost the tournament because I had something better. I had friends and family that love me. And that’s something school can’t teach you or money can’t buy you.

 

Chapter 19

While I was playing chess, my mom was at work, trying to get me a future. My mom had applied me for a spot in Stuyvesant and little did I know, one of the judges was the director of Stuyvesant. He was amazed by my intelligence and gave me an opportunity at Stuyvesant.

 

Chapter 20

I won two out of five games, and walked away with a strong head and an understanding of life. My mom has been clean for a year and six months. Brittany and I have been dating for a year now. The last time I heard about Charles and DJ, they were involved in a gunfight with some group of kids that call themselves Young Stunners. DJ was killed and Charles is doing twelve years in prison for drugs. My father and I write each other all the time. I’ve been in Stuyvesant for at least a year now. I attain all A’s, and I work at a chicken spot part time to pay for my stay at Stuyvesant. As for Flick, she’s that one percent that I was talking about. She is working part-time for a newspaper and the best photographer that Stuyvesant ever had. That’s why they say what don’t kill you makes you stronger. But I’m still here. What does that mean?

 

 

Don’t Get Caught in The Ring

There was a boy named Bobby Johnson and he was a kid who always walked to school and a homeless man would ask him for a quarter. The homeless man said to Bobby, “ I know you have a quarter.” Bobby walked off and the homeless man started to follow Bobby. Bobby started to speed up his walking because he noticed the homeless man was following him. The homeless man eventually caught up to Bobby and he took a quarter out of Bobby’s pocket. The homeless man said,” I knew you had a quarter, you liar.”

Bobby then responded and said,” I did not have that, where did you get it from?”

The homeless man left him alone and Bobby walked to school. As Bobby walked to school he did not realize what the man put in his pocket, but he found out when he was in science class. In class, Bobby had a fat bully named Bub who would always bother him because he was smart. When Bobby saw Bub walk up to the teacher to show that he had completed his project, Bobby said,” I wish that dry ice would fall on Ms. Hawk’s face and Ms. Hawk will scream at him.” As Bub walked up to show Ms. hawk that he completed his project, he dropped the dry ice on Ms. Hawk’s face.

Ms. Hawk was infuriated and told Bub, “Go sit down so I can call the principal and tell him that you are suspended.”

Bobby thought it was just a coincidence that happened, so when he went home and he asked his mom for a Xbox One and she said,” You cannot get it, so just think about something else.”

Right after he heard what his mom had to say, he said, “I hate you and I hope that you will get cancer.”

When it was time to eat dinner his mom said, “I do not feel so well can we go to the doctor.” It took Bobby some time to realize it, but he had just given his mom cancer. He did not know what it was until he heard and saw a glowing and heard a banging sound in his bag. When Bobby looked inside the bag, he realized the homeless man had put a ring in his bag, and that the ring could grant wishes. As Bobby went to sleep, he had to figure out a way to undo this horrible wish that he had already cast on his mother.

The next morning as Bobby walked to school he was ready to see the homeless man because he thought the homeless man would know to undo the wish. He could not find the homeless man, so he carried on to school. As he walked into school, Bub walked up to him and said, “Wuss up geek?” Bobby walked away because he knew what he was capable of since he had the ring in his possession. When he went to class he could not focus since he was worried about how to undo this wish that he had cast on his mom. He said, “I need to undo this wish, or else my mother will die.”

Something said to him, “If you want to undo this wish that you have cast on your mother, you must go to the homeless guy that gave you the ring and ask him to undo the wish for you.” Bobby thought whoever was talking to him was crazy, but then he thought that this could work. Bobby went back to speaking to this thing who told him what he needed to do if he wanted to undo this wish that he cast on his mom.

The thing said to him, “When you are trying to go find the homeless man, you will need to go to Chicago because he will be there. One problem is that there will be a person named Que who wants the ring. When he gets closer to the ring, his power will get stronger since he used to have it. Que has multiple powers that he will use, so do not underestimate him. If he gets the ring he will use it for world domination which in turn means you will probably die.”

Bobby said, “Can I kill him so I will not have the problem anymore?”

The thing said to Bobby, “If you kill him, it automatically kills your mother.” Bobby went home and started to plan. He got some weapons, a map, some money from his mom’s dresser, a hiking bag and a case for the ring. As he started to leave the house his mother stopped him and said, “Where are you going?”

Bobby said, “Nowhere.” Bobby left the house and went to the airport for a plane ticket to go to Chicago. The plane ticket read from Nevada to Chicago. As Bobby was ready to board the plane, a man stopped him and said, “Come with me.”

Bobby said, “Do not touch me unless you want to catch a beat down.” The man’s face started to get tomato red and started to steam. Bobby realized who it was, it was Que. Bobby ran to the plane and hid under a seat so Que could not find him. Bobby thought he was safe so he stood up. Right as he stood up there were flames and metal spikes coming from Que’s mouth. Que started to run towards him, and immediately he remembered that he had a machete with him. Bobby took it out and sliced Que’s right arm. Que’s arm was bloodier than Rambo shooting someone. Que was livid, so he blew up the plane. Right before he blew up the plane Bobby jumped out and went inside the airport. As soon as Bobby was inside, he told a police officer, “Call the SWAT team.”

The man did not believe him so Bobby said, “I guess I am going to take a road trip.”

Bobby went home and went into the kitchen as stealthily as possible. He took his mom’s car keys that were on top of the counter. It took Bobby about 6 hours to get there. When Bobby got to Chicago, he went to the poorest neighborhood called Archer Ave. He parked his car and got out. He was freezing because all he had was a T-shirt and shorts. Bobby went back into his car and made a wish. He said, “I wish I have warm clothes on and I wish I could go to the homeless man who gave me this ring.” The ring granted him the first wish, but it did not grant him the second wish. Bobby said, “How come you did not grant me the second wish?”

The ring said, “I cannot grant you wishes that are impossible.”

Bobby got mad and threw the ring into the snow. The ring was automatically back in his possession. He found out that he got it back and screamed, “Why did the man give me this ring?”

The thing said, “He gave you the ring because his life was ruined by it since he was overwhelmed with all that power.”

Bobby now started to worry because he thought that the same thing might happen to him. He also remembered that was not the only problem he had. He had to go to the man to undo the wish that he had cast on his mother. He thought to himself again, “Maybe I could give the ring to Que and he can keep it.” The thought came to him that if he could deliver the ring by Monday he probably would be alright. However, he could not find this homeless man.
\
Something said to him, “Go to the police and tell them that there is a missing person and describe him.”

Bobby did not know what he looked liked since the man had a hood the last time he saw him. He then said, “I wish I could describe what he looked like.”

As Bobby walked to the police station, a guy walked up to him and said, “I know you.”

Bobby said, “I do not know you.” He then looked into his eyes and said, “I do know you, are Que.” Then Bobby jumped back and took out his M16. This time Bobby had more firepower and he also knew how to use it, since Joe taught him how to shoot guns when he was dating Bobby’s mom. Que transformed into a body with spikes on his shoulders, fire coming out of his eyes and mouth, crystals on his legs and the rest of the body was metal. Bobby second-guessed himself after he saw Que’s real transformation. “You are able to do that. The ring was right, I can’t underestimate you.”

Just as Bobby was about to shoot, the police officer said, “Stop where you are and put your hands up.”

Que did not pay attention to the officer and breathed fire on him. He was burnt crisp. The officer crumbled and turned into ash. Suddenly the whole police force came out, guns blazing.

Bobby knew between the police shooting at him and Que’s power, he was not going to win, so he ran off. Now he was really in trouble and did not know what to do until he remembered that his dad lived in Chicago. He said to the ring, “Take me to my dad’s house.”

The ring answered him back and said, “If you want the homeless man, I can’t just give him to you.”

Then Bobby got curious and thought, could the homeless man be my father? He thought again and said not possible. He then thought it could be true. He called his mom’s ex-boyfriend, Joe. He asked Joe, “Why did my mom breakup with my dad?”

Joe said, “I don’t know much, but I do know that it had something to do with a ring.”

Bobby said, “That is all I need to know, bye.” Right after Bobby hung up he knew where he needed to go. He had some money left over from the plane ticket so he spent the night at a Motel 8. Bobby knew he had to find as much information as possible about his mom and why she broke up with Bobby’s dad. It was Sunday now and Bobby knew the perfect place to find his dad.  He always knew that his father was always a great Christian and would never miss a Sunday to go to church. As Bobby walked into the church he saw his dad. Bobby said, “You are the homeless man.” Bobby said, “I need to give you back the ring.”

His dad then said I will not take this ring and he ran. Bobby then said, “I made a wish that mom would get cancer and now she has it.”

His dad came to a sudden halt. “You wished that upon your mother? What is wrong with you, you foolish boy?” his dad said.

“I got mad with her. It is not my fault,” Bobby said. He then started to say, “Que’s coming. We have to leave. Que’s coming. We have to leave.”

As soon as his dad heard what he was saying, his dad said, “Who is Que and what does he want with you?”

Bobby responded and said, “Que is a guy who wants the ring and he will stop at nothing to get it.”

As soon as he said that, Que came in and said, “It is time to finish this. Give me the ring and no one gets hurt.”

“How did you find me?” Bobby said.

Que then responded and said, “Guess.”

“You followed me when I was in the Motel 8 and now here,” Bobby said.

Bobby and his dad started running, but Que cornered them and threw a jab at Bobby. Bobby dodged it and said, “I wish that Que would stop going after the ring.” The wish didn’t work and Bobby’s dad took the ring from him Que suddenly vanished.

Bobby asked, “Why did it work for you and not for me?”

His dad said, “I guess the ring listened to the rightful owner.”

They thought everything was back to normal until Bobby said, “We forgot to undo the cancer that I wish mom would get.” Bobby and his dad scurried to get to the airport. When they  got there they got on the first plane back to Nevada. They had a little bit of time to undo the wish. When the plane landed Bobby and his dad rushed to get a cab to go to his mom’s house. As soon as they got in the cab, Bobby said, “We need to go to 4th Street between 5th and 9th. Hurry up.” When they finally got to the mom’s house Bobby ran out while his dad paid the fare. When Bobby opened up the door with his key, his mom was lying on the ground with a puddle of blood surrounding her. Bobby dropped right by his mom’s head. When his dad came in Bobby said,” We’re too late, Dad.”

His dad responded and said, “I’m sorry, son.”

Bobby got up and he sobbed on his dad’s shoulder. When they were done hugging thevoice said, “Sorry about that.” Bobby realized that when he was in need of assistance, he could always talk to his conscience. When everything was done, the father moved in with Bobby. Que was dead, and the mom was also dead. They put the ring in a place where nobody could find it. They knew some day someone would find the ring, but that was not today.

 

The Genius

Chapter 1

 

Vlad hated seeing the army. He hated knowing that when they came to his town, something bad was always going to happen. He also hated that every time the army came to town, they were coming for him. He sighed and stood up from his perch atop an old oak tree. He hurried down the tree’s trunk and ran back home to get some things before he left for a few weeks. As he got home he noticed that his parents weren’t home at the moment. If they were home, they might have asked where I was going and I don’t have that much time, he thought. He grabbed his knapsack, a sheepskin jacket, his cloak, a saxe knife, and his magic lantern. He quickly ran into the kitchen to pick up a few loaves of bread and some beef jerky. He then ran outside and turned around the corner just to bump into his best friend Blurr.

“Hey there, Vlad. Why are you in such a hurry?” Blurr asked while pulling Vlad up from where he fell.

“Just going hunting out in the forest,” Vlad replied evenly.

“Looks like you overpacked for this trip, but who am I to stop you,” Blurr said.

Vlad nodded his head and started running up the alley towards the forest when a man came out of a shop and almost bumped into Vlad. Vlad stumbled while trying to stop himself from running into the man.

“You all right, laddy? You almost took quite the fall trying to stop yourself,” the man replied while steadying Vlad so he wouldn’t fall again.

“I’m all right. Thank you for helping me out,” Vlad replied while dusting off his clothes.

“Think nothing of it, me’ boy,” the man said.

Vlad looked up and saw a thick beard covering the man’s face and a large smile that lit up his face.

“Thank you sir, but I must be on my way now. Goodbye!” Vlad yelled as he ran towards the forest.

“Goodbye, lad! I’ll see you soon,” the man yelled as he waved.

As Vlad entered the forest he brought out his lamp and snapped his fingers. Instantly the lamp lit up as fire appeared inside of it. Vlad smiled. Being a pyromancer was very nice, especially when you could do things like this. Vlad quickly made his way towards the heart of the forest, where he hoped to find an area where he could set up camp. As he ducked underneath a tree branch, he saw a large hole under a tree’s roots and he crawled inside, careful not to loosen the dirt underneath the roots for fear of the tree coming loose and falling on him. He hung his lamp and sat hunched in the back of the hole. He then slowly drifted off to sleep but was woken by the sound of many feet marching at the same time. Vlad lifted himself out of the hole and quickly ran in the opposite direction of the sound. As he ran, Vlad kept thinking about his next move. Would he orchestrate an assassination? Or would he steal some precious object?

Vlad then thought of a good idea of how he could deceive the kingdom and assassinate one of the most revered men in all of Throga’ul. Vlad, lost in his train of thought, didn’t notice the fallen tree ahead of him, and as he was about to turn, his foot hit the tree and he fell into a heap. Next time I should look where I’m going, Vlad thought. Vlad stood up and as he was about to start running again, he heard his stomach rumble, and he realized he hadn’t eaten yet. Vlad pulled out a loaf of bread from his knapsack and tore it in half, eating one half and saving the other for some other time. He then stood up and ran towards the southern edge of the forest.

It was dusk by the time Vlad made it to the edge of the forest. He was weary from running and jumping over trees, shrubbery, and other plants. Vlad looked up from where he had just sat down and saw a vast expanse of tall marsh grass that stretched on for miles and miles. He knew he couldn’t make it to the next town, so Vlad decided to camp out in the marsh for the night. As he looked for a good campsite, Vlad noticed a little flicker of light in the middle of the field and he made his way over to it. As he approached, he could smell cooked meat and his mouth watered. He had almost gone through all of his rations while in the forest, and the idea of cooked meat sounded fantastic. Vlad peered through the grass to look at the campsite. What he saw there interested him greatly.

There was a group of six men seated around a campfire and each man had some type of weapon with him. Vlad then noticed that there were several tents behind the campfire, and the men were walking around them. Vlad turned to look at the tents more closely when he saw that some other men had started campfires too. The smell of meat and vegetables cooking made his stomach growl. Luckily all the men were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice Vlad’s stomach. Vlad slowly crept towards them to hear more.

“Ok so what’s our next job, Larr?” one of the men asked. The man who spoke was of medium height with long black hair and a lopsided nose that showed it had been broken in a fight.

“We’re supposed to ransack some town with the help of some other groups of brigands,” Larr said. Larr was tall and bald, but he appeared to be respected by the others which could mean he was the group’s leader.

“What other groups are going to help us out?” the first man asked.

“I think the Wild Fang and the Beast Claw are going to help us,” Larr replied.

The first man nodded and said, “It’s a good thing we know those groups and have dealt with them in the past.”

Larr nodded and checked the cooking spit. As he was doing this someone came from the other group of tents and made his way over. This man was tall and had a cowl covering his face. He also has a scarf wrapped around his neck. The first man who talked looked over at the man coming and said, “ Hey Vale, how’s it going?”

The hooded man looked up and said, “It’s good, Zeke. It’s good.”

Larr then took the spit off the fire and pulled off pieces of meat and handed them to everyone. The all ate noisily except for Larr and Vale. Suddenly Vale stopped eating and sat straight up and looked right at Vlad. Vlad knew no one could see him through the tall, thick grass but he still had a bad feeling about this.

“Hey, what is it, Vale?” Zeke asked.

“You know that criminal who is wanted by everyone in this kingdom and the next one over?” Vale said while standing slowly.

“Yeah, he’s famous for the assassination of General Candoc and a bunch of other crimes,” Zeke replied.

“Well he’s right there,” Vale said as he pointed directly at Vlad.

Oasis for Lost Souls

The lightning strike happened once every century. A fork of white heat would streak across a black canvas, like a spotlight, a searchlight, a beacon whistling a quiet plea of notice. Then came the purple glow, and legend had it that the glow was a direct calling from God himself, imprinting instructions into their wandering minds. Last was a cascading flurry of red dashes, crimson cuts, eyelashes blinking, clouding the purple eye, staring down at the Called.

 

Then it was gone, and darkness enveloped the world once again.

 

Diana was twenty-two. Black hair. Big eyes. An artist from the Big Apple, yet somehow she found herself in Vegas, two hundred dollars and an extra pair of shoes in her drawstring bag. New Year’s Eve coming up, too. She brought friends along with her– some no-names from the art scene in Brooklyn– to get roaring drunk and spend their last quarters on the slot machine. They didn’t have enough to pay rent anyway.

 

Diana couldn’t explain why she’d chosen Las Vegas when her friends asked her where they should go. It felt as if a magnet was stapled to the back of her head. Every step she took to the east, to the coastline of the city, or to the Portuguese bakery next to her favorite park, she felt a sharp tug pulling her west. There was an odd pressure against her neck when she went to bed, and her head would twist to the side, never quite resting on the pillow right. She was distracted, too. A recent NYU graduate, she knew she’d be stumbling around blindly for a while. But this was something else.

 

The first few days in Vegas were uneventful, if gambling and drinking and puking weren’t considered events. Diana couldn’t relish the moment. With shaking hands she threw down a pair of sevens, lost fifty dollars, and with shaking eyes she watched her friends tilt their heads back, necks arched, cackle as if the money were nothing. Diana thought maybe if that magnet wasn’t in the back of her head, she could tilt her neck in the right way and laugh along with them. Yet her heart was still misguided, and with twenty five dollars to her name, she spoke up. “You chose this place, Diana,” they scolded when she suggested slowing down, saving something so that they could afford that last night in the hotel. “Don’t be such a fucking killjoy.”

 

On New Year’s Eve, Diana tried to drink champagne, but the bubbles wouldn’t slide down her throat without scratching the skin inside. Her friends were drunk, and they danced to the beat of a dubstep song in the back arena of the hotel. Diana felt the bass of the music in her spine, tried to move loosely like her friends, but she was a robot among ballet dancers. Too little alcohol, she told herself. Drink.

 

But it wasn’t working, and Diana could feel tears threatening to cascade down her cheeks. Chest tight, she pushed her way through the crowd into open air. She found her feet planted on the back porch of the hotel, facing the western sky. The sun trickled beneath jagged cliff edges, and Diana forced herself to breathe. Be normal just for once, Diana. Breathe.

 

Except that magnet was still in the back of her head, twisting her thoughts as if her mind were trapped in a tornado. She focused on the sunset, focused on the melting hues and the perfect stillness, the rocks a mile out that looked like shark teeth. She told herself, over and over, to be normal. Just for once.

 

And then Diana felt her feet move. Not back to the hotel, to her intoxicated friends and full glass of champagne and pulsing strobe lights. Her feet pulled her off of the porch, onto the dusty rubble of Nevada’s vast deserts. One after the other, toe to heel, she moved to the jagged teeth and the hot, melting sun.

 

Diana couldn’t speak as her legs jerked up and down, pulling her to the west. She knew she should be terrified, should be sobbing and clawing her way back to the hotel. But an odd sense of calm wafted over her, and she decided that if this was what being possessed felt like, she didn’t mind it in the least.

 

The sun was sinking below the shark teeth, casting the desert in a warm orange hue. Diana was transfixed, eyes peeled open and head held high. The glow of the sun was like an oven, sizzling Diana’s skin as a bead of sweat dripped from her hairline. But she didn’t mind; the tranquility was stronger than any drug she’d ever used in Brooklyn. It was a natural high, and she felt like she was soaring.

 

Soon Diana was standing below the teeth. It hadn’t taken quite as long as she’d expected. She reached a hand out and felt the cool rock in front of her. The sun had completely disappeared now, casting the world in a dark navy tinge. Diana watched as her hand moved back and forth, felt the little bumps and ridges and nooks of the rock. She glanced behind her. The hotel was a little blip of light on the horizon.

 

A light to the left made Diana stop. She whipped around, and a door was etched into the rock, a pasty glow emanating from inside. Every instinct, every hint of sanity and reason and rationality told her to turn around and run. She’d probably been drugged, or was on an acid trip and didn’t even know it. Fuck it. She had to run.

 

Except Diana felt the magnet pull her forward, into the light of the door. All at once, the light overwhelmed her senses, and all she could see was white, all she could feel was the escalating beat of her heart, all she could hear were her quick intakes of breath. If she was dying, she didn’t mind. The fear had evaporated with the burst of light at the door.

 

“Welcome to the Oasis for Lost Souls, Diana. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

 

The voice was inside her head. Calm. Soothing. Like a thick pool of honey trickling down her throat from that cold metal spoon. Her mother used to make her eat honey when her throat hurt, back in the suburbs of New York. Then Diana left, went on her big adventure. Big Apple, Big dreams, Big debts. Big, vacant holes that she just couldn’t fill. Big, whopping tears, then finally, dry eyes in the desert. And now the soothing voice that enveloped her like a warm blanket. It knew her already, she could tell. It was an old friend welcoming her home, like she’d never been home before.

 

The light began to wilt, slowly trickling to form a cool grey. Diana squinted, blinking her long lashes. Shapes danced around her, midnight blacks and pearly whites. Voices, not The Voice, but voices all the same. A bustle of energy. More squinting, lashes flicking. A clear image clicked into place.

 

It was a diner. Tall red and white-striped pillars lined the entrance, tapering into the blurred horizon. To Diana’s left were rows of booths, two seats with room for two facing each other, a violet marble table perched between them. To her right was an endless clear counter, lined with pink cakes and crumbly muffins and sweet tarts. Glittering red stools sat side-by-side. There was no ceiling, she realized, tilting her neck as far back as it could go. White light like a crystalline sky encased the diner, folding around the contents in every direction, even the floor.

 

And the people. Seated at the booths, idly stirring mugs of coffee, chatting away. Swiveling on the stools. Walking up and down the main path, grins plastered on their gleaming faces. Some were waitresses and waiters, dressed in pinstripes. The others were a melting pot. Diana had never seen such diversity, not even in New York – headdresses, Chanel bags, suits, robes. Diana laughed, cupped a hand to her mouth. Standing in the doorway, she was an outsider. But she already had an odd premonition that this place was hers.

 

“See that empty seat? It’s all yours.” The Voice. In her head again.

 

Two minutes later, she was seated, swiveling back and forth. Her mind was reeling. Drugs? Too real to be a hallucination. Had she died? Maybe. Was she terrified? Not sure.

 

“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?” A waitress was suddenly standing in front of her, leaning on the countertop. Diana realized it had been the waitress’ voice floating through her head. The waitress turned away before Diana could speak. But soon she was back, with a steaming mug of green tea, no sugar. Just how Diana liked it. “Soon you won’t be stuck in the initial shock. You need time is all.”

 

Diana nodded. So many questions. Yet she could feel time trickling away. That slippery beast, time. Never enough. “Where am I? I know it’s an… Oasis. But really. Am I dead?”

 

The waitress laughed. “Nonsense, sweetheart. Just in between. You’ll be back in a little while.” The waitress pursed her ruby red lips, her blue eyes bright. She leaned down to Diana’s eye level, then pointed behind Diana’s head. “See that clock over there?” Diana swiveled her stool, gazing at the white sky, searching for what the waitress was talking about. Then she saw the black frame, about five feet in diameter , and the intricately carved hands. On ten. It was only ten o’clock?

 

The waitress, now whispering in Diana’s ear, sensed her confusion. “Time runs differently here. That clock controls it all. At twelve, we’ll disappear.”

 

Diana’s heart thumped. It should have been ominous, yet the waitress spoke nonchalantly, her voice laced with a thick twang like melted sugar and gooey cotton candy. If she wasn’t concerned, Diana shouldn’t be, either.

 

“How is this happening?” Such a simple question, and Diana pleaded for a clear answer. Intriguing as it was, she needed concrete. The white sky wasn’t enough to plant her feet on.

 

“Well, that’s the million dollar question,” the waitress began. Diana nodded her head, eyes wide, begging the waitress to go on. “See, you’re here because you’re, shall we say, finding your way. And we’re here because of the lightning strike,” the waitress paused when she saw Diana’s unblinking eyes and slack jaw. Lightning strike. Sounded like a bad movie. “It happens once every century,” the waitress continued, idly twirling a strand of chestnut hair. “And there we are. Here I am.”

 

“Where do you go? You know, at twelve,” Diana struggled to string the puzzle pieces together. Champagne. Shark teeth. Light. Diner. Waitress. Clock. Lightning strike. The progression was too fast, too disjointed. It didn’t fit.

 

The waitress giggled, and grabbed Diana’s cup of tea that Diana hadn’t realized she’d emptied. In a second it was steaming in front of her. “Too many questions, sweetheart.” The waitress straightened her apron on her uniform and turned to the woman on Diana’s left, pouring her a glass of lemonade.

 

Diana swiveled her stool to face the rest of the diner. Hundreds of people. Hundreds of stories. She was overwhelmed, yet unbelievably content. It was that magnet whispering emotions into her head, she was sure.

 

“I’ve got it!” Diana felt a tap on her shoulder and turned her stool to the right. She was bombarded by a pair of icy blue eyes boring into her own, a finger pointed at her chest. “I bet you’re a Diana. It’s the nose.”

 

“Excuse me?” Diana’s heart thumped and her spine tickled with nervous anticipation for the first time since she had entered the diner. She hadn’t uttered her name aloud, not yet. Maybe the rest could hear that voice in her head, too. Maybe–

 

“Sorry to freak ya out,” the man with the icy blue eyes leaned back on his stool and took a sip of coffee. “The name’s Barns. From Missouri. Been here,” he gazed at the clock on the wall, “five hours. Lovin’ it.”

 

Diana nodded. He seemed friendly enough. If he was in the diner, and if the waitress wasn’t lying, then he was lost too. Instant connection.

 

“So tell me, Miss Diana– oh yeah, it’s the nose because all them Diana’s got it; that English princess, the Roman goddess, and that actress on the TV sometimes. I always try to guess folks’ names. It’s a talent of mine — what brings you to the Oasis?” Barns peered closely at her, and it felt as though he was looking directly into her soul, unspooling her genes and thoughts with each syllable.

 

She hadn’t really thought of why she was there, actually. It just felt right. That magnet.

 

“I don’t exactly know,” she confessed. “I’m just here, I guess.”

 

Barns leaned back in his chair and cackled. “I guess? I guess? Well, Miss Diana, therein lies your problem! You’ve got to be sure! No more second-guessing. Put in all you’ve got, or go home crying, that’s my motto,” Barns jabbed a thumb at his chest, clearly proud of his advice. “I been living that way since ‘79. Sure of everything I do, and certainly certain of that.”

 

“Then why are you here?” Diana let the words slip out before considering their weight. But Barns laughed again; not a cackle, but a slow, remorseful laugh.

 

“Even the most sure of sures have some issues, Miss Diana. Had a daughter. Not anymore. She looked a bit like you,” Barns’ icy blue eyes stared into Diana’s once more. Diana didn’t shirk away. His eyes were pure. Empty pools, ghosts of lost loves still haunting the gentle waves. It was sad, but Barns didn’t seem to mind. “Anyways, I’m lost.” Barns stared at the clock. “Dammit. It’s already eleven. Time flies, that’s another sure thing.”

 

Diana gulped a sip of tea. Only one hour left. The magnet was pleased; she didn’t want to leave.

 

Barns leaned his elbow on the counter and propped his head on his hand, the way a father would when listening to his daughter’s worries. “Tell me. Tell me something you’re sure of.”

 

“I don’t believe in heaven.” Diana was startled. But it was true. “And I don’t know if I believe in this place. I want to, but I must be on a trip,” she lowered her voice, “You know, drugs. I came from Vegas.”

 

Barns cackled again. “A trip! How endearing!” He stopped laughing and was once again serious, if not for the slight smirk on his lips. “Got another tidbit for ya. Don’t question too much. Some questions are good, but some will drive ya just plain mad. Don’t focus too much on those. Focus on the now-time, Miss Diana.”

 

Diana found herself laughing. The now-time. She loved the way Barns spoke – a mix of southern slang and old-English. And he was right, too. The magnet brought her somewhere that was so isolated, it had no time and place, aside from the clock on the wall. It was the most extreme of now-times, and Diana was happier than she’d been in years. Maybe it was the magnet. But the harmonious tranquility felt deeper than that.

 

“Another cup of tea, sweetheart?” The waitress was back. Diana nodded and in a second her green tea was steaming again. Diana stared at the thick green liquid, entranced by the coils of hot mist that made her eyes warm and wet. Wet with tears, maybe.

 

The waitress noticed her melancholy and bent down to her level, whispering in her ear with those ruby-red lips. “I’ll let you in on another secret, Diana.” She leaned back and grinned, flashing pearly white teeth. “You’re this much closer,” she held her pointer finger and thumb an inch apart. “To finding your way. And I know that doesn’t seem like much, but I’ve met thousands of you Called. And believe me, once you leave, you’ll be heading in the right path.”

 

Diana wanted to ask her how she knew that. How she understood Diana’s predicament– lost with too little and too much at the same time. She wanted to ask about the Called. Wanted to know what to do once she left, if she’d really be going the right way. Or the wrong way. But she glanced at Barns next to her, his icy eyes still staring at her own, and she understood. It was the now-time that she had to worry about. Being sure in the now-time.

 

And Diana was sure that the waitress was right. Something inside had changed in Diana– like a switch flicked the other way. It was just an inkling, just a premonition of hope, a twinge of security. But Diana knew that the Oasis had given her that insight she needed. The Oasis had given her the wisdom, the secrets of a bigger world, one that wasn’t impossibly intimidating, one that wasn’t a labyrinth with no exit. She had been given the push she needed to find her path.

 

A loud gong shattered Diana’s heavy repose and she jumped, spinning her stool to face the clock. The thick black hand was approaching twelve, and moving swiftly.

 

“Time to abandon ship,” the waitress laughed and pursed her lips as she grabbed Diana’s tea and the woman to her left’s lemonade. “I really do hope you enjoyed your stay, Diana,” she said. Her eyes were sincere as she leaned down and kissed Diana’s cheek, leaving an almost nonexistent lipstick stain. She turned and made her way down the aisle, gathering more steamy mugs and tall glasses.

 

“Remember, Miss Diana, remember what to focus on.” Barns reached out a hand and Diana shook it, attempting to memorize all the ice and sparkle and mischief in his eyes. It was happening too fast. She was leaving too soon.

 

The gong sounded again. This time the black hand was almost on twelve. Diana whipped her head around the diner, spinning her stool in a full circle. She wanted to memorize it all. She didn’t want to go back to Vegas, didn’t want to face her friends and money and full glass of champagne. But she had to remember the now-time. The present. The certainty in the moment.

 

Suddenly Diana’s world erupted in a flash of white light, just as when she had entered the Oasis. She felt her heart pounding, felt the blood in her veins and the tea warming her throat like her own personal sun. The gong rang. Once, twice, and then, silence.

 

Diana realized her eyes were closed. She opened them hesitantly, all too aware of the darkness around her and cool air on her skin. Her head felt lighter somehow, and she thought she might faint.

 

She was standing at the edge of the back porch of the hotel. Her toes were dangling over the wood, almost touching the dry desert floor. She stared at the jagged shark teeth in the distance. They were so far away — maybe a mile — and she thought she may have gone crazy. But it was too real to be drugs, too true to be imagined. The waitress was real. Barns was real.

 

A strike of light illuminated the sky for a split second before the darkness fell and the stars returned. It was a fork of lightning, with an aftershock of purple and red. The waitress had mentioned that. The lightning strike, marking the appearance of the Oasis. Marking its exit, too.

 

“Diana!” Diana turned to see her friends in the doorway, stumbling over each others’ feet and holding sloshing glasses of champagne. “There you are! Come on, let’s party!” The others shrieked in response and quickly fled the doorway, raising their glasses to the beat of a heavy bass and pulsing lights. Diana watched them go, not sorry to see them leave.

 

She turned back to the jagged shark teeth. Their silhouette against the black sky was almost invisible now, and Diana squinted to make out the sharp lines. The door was somewhere in there. Maybe it was gone now, but it had been there. She knew it had been there.

 

Diana faced the party. Her head still felt light, and again she wondered if she might faint. But it wasn’t dizziness that caused her to feel like a feather in the wind. Something was missing.

 

With a deep breath and a wave of sudden serenity, Diana realized it was the magnet that was gone. No longer pulling her to the west, no longer pointing her in a mysterious direction.

 

But she didn’t need it anymore.

 

The Choice

About the Author

Elena Lohsen is a fun loving pianist who loves to write made-up stories that are either funny or dramatic. She is home schooled and loves to call herself either Larry or Bob.

A tiny voice asked, “Is this the one?”  Two small lights were glistening in a clever man’s room.

“I’m sure of it. He’s the one who will defeat Madith, the wizard.”  Suddenly a loud boom of thunder sent the glistening lights away into the dark and cold december night.

The next morning, Wayne was thinking, that was a strange dream, the way I was in a land where magical creatures thrived.

Wayne’s days always felt repetitive. everyday he would make a cup of coffee and stare at a picture on his desk; the picture was of a woman that had gone missing.  This woman was his ex-girlfriend.  She had gone missing right after a big fight.

About 11:00pm, he heard small high voices – as if a mouse was talking. he couldn’t make out what the things were saying.  He grabbed his torch and quickly turned over and shined the light right into two small flying green faces. He stared at the things with a face so white you might think it was marble.

“Hello,” said one of the things. “We are pixies, guards of the forest.”

“No, I’m just dreaming. That’s all,”  and with a nervous heart, he went back to sleep.

Midnight struck with a boom of thunder.  Wayne jerked up and saw that outside was the largest storm he’d ever seen.  Suddenly a giant  crack of lightning flew through his window and struck him in the heart.  Most people would die from that, but this my friends is only the beginning of a epic journey.

Wayne woke up with a headache worse than the world ending.  Looking around, Wayne saw that he was in a forest, his shoes were gone, and his torch was lying next to him.

“Wait? Where am I?”

“What, you don’t know?” said a high girlish voice.

“Who’s there?”

“Don’t you know where you are?” said the girly voice again.

“No. Where am I?”

“Why your in the land of Lenova.”

“Were?” asked Wayne.

“Lenova.  It’s where all things are possible.”

“Where are you?” Wain shouted, starting to get annoyed.

“Here.”

Just then a lady with chocolate brown hair dropped down. Scared half to death, Wayne fell back and said, “Who… who are you?”

“I dont really know yet.  I’m still searching.”

“Searching for what?” Wayne asked.

“My other half.  When I was two years, old Madith stole half of my identity.”

“No one can steal half of someone identity.  It’s impossible.”

“In lanova anything is possible. Oh, by the way, my name is Lily.”  Starting to leave, she called back

“Well, hurry up then.”

“So, you’re the man who’s supposed to defeat Madith?” Lily asked.

“What?…  Who’s Madith?”

“You don’t know who Madith is?… Never mind.”

Lily and Wayne walked for three miles until they were in a plain.

“What are we doing here?”

“Well, you see, a month ago a vision appeared to me, and said that a man would come, and I would help him to defeat Madith.  Since then, I’ve found many men, but all were big fakes. They all gave up.”

“So, Where are we going?”

“We are going to see Empathy.”

“What’s empathy?” asked Wayne.

“Not what, who. Empathy is a wise fairy who will help us”

By then they were in a dense swamp. “Well, we’re here.” Lily said, trying to sound happy.  In front of them was a large lake. “Here. Give me your hand.” With those words, she took a knife and cut his hand. One drop of dark red blood fell into the lake. At once, a terrible shrieking came out of the swamp behind them. They turned around, scared, and beheld Euryale.

“Oh no! Euryale’s scream can kill!  Quickly, put this in your ears.” Lily threw a tiny tube of water at Wayne.

”What do I do with this?”

“Pour it in your ears.”

“What?”

“Just do it!” Wayne poured it in his ears.  It felt cold; it made things hard to hear.  The only thing he did hear was the terrible, muffled, shrieking sound of Euryale.  Scared, he looked back and saw Euryale hurtling towards them.  Before they knew what they were doing, it grabbed Lily and threw her in the water.  Wayne watched terrified. Becoming only more terrified as Euryale came ever closer to where Wayne stood. He began to run.

“No!” shouted Lily frantically.  “That will only make it mad.”

It ran after Wayne and, with a loud shriek, it stopped running and turn towards Lily.  She was dragging herself soaking out of the water.  A cut on her forehead sent blood down the side of her face.  Euryale ran to her, picked her up on its shoulders and vanished.

“No.” breathed Wayne in a desperate voice. He knew that now he was all alone.

The green dirty river became suddenly gleaming blue.  A flash of lightning and a woman in a green gown was standing on the water.  She started to walk towards them. “Am I too late?”

“If you mean missing a giant monster attack us, then yes. Who are you?”

“I am Empathy, the queen of Lenova. Where is Lily?”

“The monster took her. So, how do we get her back?”

“Its name is Euryale.  You will have to go to its lair. Here, take this.” Empathy handed Wayne a small silver wrist watch. It wasn’t like other wrist watches.  It didn’t have hands.  Instead it had dots floating in a gel.

“What is it?” asked Wayne.

“It’s a internuncio.”

“What’s that?”

“A transporter.  It will take you ten feet forward.

Let me tell you about Madith.  A long time ago, Madith worked for the King.  Tired of being pushed around, he declared that he would some day push the King around and make him bow down to Madith.”

“Wow, he sounds horrible.” squeaked Wayne.

“Well,” Empathy continued, “after that, he vanished.  A couple years later, a man found him in the caves of Onna.  You will go in the caves and destroy him, without destroying the world.  I will put you in the caves of Kimp. That should be where Lily is.”

Empathy started to fade into the wind.  “My time is up.” Fading, she threw Wayne a piece of gold paper.  On it were just two words:

 Your choice.

“My choice,” he said to himself.  He was still looking at the paper Wayne looked up. He was in a cave the size of a  small room. The cave had no exit. He went frantically around, but found nothing – just a grey wall.  He touched every knook and cranny.

Giving up, he leaned against a wall and released a small pebble that fell onto the floor.  As this happened, the wall he was leaning on lifted up. Falling in, Wayne landed on a soft thing.  This thing was squishy, but warm.  “Wait a minute. This thing is moving,” Wayne whispered to himself.  The shrieking he had heard before came loudly again. The thing got up, making Wayne fall hard on the stone ground. He looked up, but didn’t see Euryale.

He stood carefully and started to walk the long tunnel before him. He passed many disgusting things, like a arm rotting on the floor and piles of bones everywhere. In front of him was a hole no bigger than a large dog.  Trying, but failing to squeeze in, his wrist watch loosened and fell to the floor. Picking it up, he remembered what it was.  Turning it over and over, Wayne found a button. He pushed it and red sparks came out. Then, it started to glow a purple, blue color. The world around him started to go black. He felt light headed, like he was the in the underworld – Hades touching his cold dark hands to Wayne’s head – then, he found himself in a brightly lit room.

As he examined the room, Wayne felt as if he were being closely watched. Turning a corner, he saw Lily in an iron cage dangling from a rope over a boiling pit of melted copper. “Lily!” shouted Wayne. Lily looked as if all her hope had been taken ferociously out of her body.

Wayne ran to the edge of the pit. He reached his arm out as far as he could, but it only went half the distance. A fierce shrieking made Wayne almost fall in. He turn around and beheld Euryale, mad at him for trying to take its treasure. “You are trying to take my only treasure, You will pay for that!”  

It charged at Wayne. He ducked and rolled out of the way. Running, he took off his watch and held it in his hand. “You will pay!” Wayne made a sharp turn and ran straight towards Lily in her iron cage.

“Catch!” He threw Lily his watch, and then made another sharp turn.

“How do I use this?”

“Push the button!”

“You will pay!” Euryale stopped running after Wayne, turned and started running fast towards Lily’s cage. It jumped over the pit on to the cage.  “You will pay!” Reaching in the cage, Euryale seized Lily’s ring and leaped off. The weight of Euryale had made the rope brake, one strand at a time, until it fell into the boiling copper, only to come up broken with nothing in it.

“No,” whispered Wayne.

“You have paid the price.” Laughing a devious laugh, Euryale picked up, out off the copper, the cage, then, threw it at Wayne. It got Wayne in the leg. Euryale walked to its next victim slowly. Wayne’s leg was badly cut, so he could only crawl to the edge of the pit and pray… Euryale shrieked, then looked at Wayne, ready to strike. Wayne, thinking this was it, closed his eyes and waited for the final blow.  He heard a shriek, then nothing. Wayne opened his eyes only to see Euryale dead by his feet, and Lily with a dagger in her hands.

“Thanks.” said Wayne, examining the beast.

“Here is you wrist watch,” Lily handed his small watch back to him.

“I thought you were dead. What happened?”

“I pressed the button right before Euryale cut the rope, then landed behind Euryale, and I saw it throw the cage at you. I then took my dagger out of my shoe and snuck up behind it, and, well, you know the rest.

We should get out of here before some more monsters come.”

Lily helped Wayne limp out of the caves and into the sun. They walked back to where Euryale had first attacked them. Lily then put Wayne’s leg into the water.  It stung for a minute, then felt there wasn’t ever a cut. When he lifted his leg, he saw that his leg was completely healed. Empathy appeared on the water with a happy expression. “You have succeeded in you first challenge, but there are going to be more. Come where you are safe.”

In the middle of the lake the water dipped down to the bottom showing a long tunnel. Lily started to walk on the water as if it were ground. She shouted back, “Are you coming or not?”  Wayne looked as if  he was watching a ghost go through a wall.  Petrified, he got up and slowly walked to the edge of the water. He put one foot on the water. It felt cold and slippery like ice, but beneath him he could see fish swimming.  Wayne slipped into the ice cold water. “Are you alright?” Empathy asked trying not to smile.

“Yeah,” he replied.  As soon as Empathy touched Wayne, he felt new strength. Standing, he walked, like he was born on the water, to the entrance of the tunnel, then slid to the dirt. The tunnel got darker as they went along. Wayne saw in the dim light that in front of them was a small door with a dagger in the middle.

“You two will enter this door. Inside there will be challenges that you will have to face.”

“What are the challenges?”

“I don’t know.”

Looking over to Lily and seeing her frightened face made Wayne stand up straight and go slowly to the door.  He stretched out his hand, but before he touched the door it swung open and with a bang, it hit a wall.  A gust of cold air flew on Wayne’s face.  It made him feel as if he were dead – being placed down into the grave, never to see the light again.

“This is where I must leave you. Goodbye and best of luck.” Empathy vanished with a flash of light.  Wayne stepped into the dark room and, walking slowly, hit something.  He jumped back and relaxed, for it was only a wall. Wayne remembered his torch, so, with quick hands, pulled it out of his pocket and shone it on a wall with tons of vines hanging down. He walked until the path split.

“Which way do we go?” asked Lily.

“Um, that way.” He pointed to the left.

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

They went to the left and found another split. This time, they went to the right. A faded green ball of light shone bright in Wayne’s face. “Agh, that’s bright.”

“What’s bright?”

“Can’t you see it?”

“See what?”

“The ball of light.”

“What ball of light?”

The ball started to move forwards. “Come on this way.” They followed the light to two great doors made purely of bones and gold.

“Well, we’re here, about to face Madith,” said Lily.

“What do you think he is like?”

“I don’t know – nasty probably.”

Lily stepped forwards and lightly touched the door made of skeletons and gold. It felt cold on lily’s soft, peach skin. She rubbed the door down the middle, then slowly pushed it open. Darkness seemed to swallow them; death seemed to hold them. It felt as if Madith were pulling them closer, closer, Wayne shone a light on a wall dripping black ooze: a black cat cocooned in a spider web dead with the spider sucking its blood, and a skeleton in bits of broken pieces along the floor. As they were walking, their torch suddenly burnt out leaving them in total darkness. Every once in a while, they would fall over either rocks, piles of dirt, or bones. Minutes passed by, but for them it felt like hours. Being forced to crawl over large rocks made their knees battered and bruised.

“I know why you are here. You can not defeat me.”

Lily, so surprised, fell to the ground dragging Wayne with her.  “Are you Madith?” asked Wayne.

“Yes, I’m the one who will have your lives in my hands in a few seconds.”

“What makes you so sure about that?” Lily said in a courteous tone.

“What makes me so sure is that I have something that one of you want badly, or did want badly.” After Madith said that, the floor started to open. It cracked straight between Wayne and Lily, then opened up, showing deep-down, molten lava bubbling. The crack spread wider apart every second, until it seemed as if it was a cauldron full of poison.

“Wayne, look out!” Lily shouted just as Madith appeared right behind him. Wayne turn to see none other than a woman in a black cloak with ivory hair and a hat just like a witches hat.

“I thought you said Madith was a man.”

“I thought she was.”

“Yes, everyone thought I was a man, because I wanted everyone to think I was a man. But now I will defeat you as easily as if I was a man!” With those words, she held out a hand and a ball of light hit Wayne in the chest. He fell to the ground, feeling as if he had been struck by a knife.

“I will talk, and you will listen. I have somthing you might want to have back. Of course, I’m not giving it back, but you might want to know that she is safe.”

“She?”

“Yes, she.” The wall in front of them opened up. Wayne’s eyes bulged out, and Lily’s heart pounded with fear.  In the middle was a woman on her knees, chained by her wrist to a large column. Her hair was in long tangled knots.  When she looked up, her face was stained was blood.

“Heather!” Wayne got up to run to the lady in chains, but only got shot back down by another ball of light. Heather lifted her stained face and immediately got up and ran as far as she could without hurting her arms.

“Let’s make a deal. I will let you have that thing,” Madith said, pointing to Heather, “if you let me have the girl.”

It struck Wayne then and there that he would have to choose either Lily or Heather. Waynes heart pounded, his head was in a whirl, which one, which one.

“I choose… Lily!” He said this, then caught a dagger thrown to him by Lily.  He ran at Madith and swung, but she caught his arm.

“Well?” asked Madith

“You must try harder than that! You have to have the element of surprise.” Madith disappeared only to appear again next to Heather.

“Like this!” Madith plunged a dagger into Heathers heart, leaving her breathless, hanging on chains.

Wayne stood with and threw his dagger at Madith with all his might, hitting her right in the heart. She screamed, but the scream slowly turned into a devilish laugh. She took the dagger out of her chest, and threw it to the ground.

She looked at Lily and said, “When you were little I took this from you.” Madith took out of her cloak a silver key.

“My other half, thats mine.”

Lily ran at Madith pushing her to the ground, sending the key spiraling to the edge of the crack. Lily got up and ran to the edge, grabbed the key and plunged it into her heart.

“No!” Madith lifted her arm up with murder in her eyes…

Lily grabbed around Madith’s waist and shouted, “for Lenova!” Lily shouted. Jumping off Lily and Madith plummeted down to their deaths. Leaving Wayne alone.

The End

The Makeup Mysteries

Makeup Mysteries

Chapter 1

The cameras flash back and forth as Niki Britina struts down the runway. She is the most famous fashion model in the entire world with long, silky blonde hair and bright blue eyes the color of sapphires. Anyone could easily tell she is a top fashion model. As the curtain closes Niki is showered by tons and tons of gorgeous flowers while she blows kisses to the roaring crowd. The show has ended and Niki is about to head home.

“Wasn’t I amazing out there? I was so much better than the rest of you!” Niki shouts confidently. “I’m surprised the crowd even clapped for you. Nicole, you tripped on the edge of the runway; that was hilarious! Ella, the dress you had on was from last season, and worst of all, Kathrin, you wore Zoe’s dress. It was so funny because Zoe didn’t have anything to wear so she couldn’t come out!”

“Niki, you’ve been really mean these past few weeks and you keep insulting us after every fashion show. We’re through!” shouts Nicole. “Come on girls.”

As all the other models file out of the room, and Niki is left with only one friend, Emma, her best friend.

“Niki, Nicole’s right. You have been kinda mean to the other models, and you need to start thinking about how others feel, not just yourself. See you Friday,” says Emma before leaving.

It is a dark night and the moon is hidden behind the clouds. As Niki walks down the sidewalk, she hears a rustle in the bushes and she turns around slowly to see a… squirrel! Niki sighs in relief. As she walks up the driveway to her exquisite mansion, she notices that her front door is wide open. She peeks inside and everything is out of place. Tables are overturned, vases are shattered on the floor, and worst of all she has chipped a nail coming home! Niki goes straight up to her vanity room to search for a nail file and some lotion. But just as she had suspected, her makeup has been stolen! She had the best makeup in the entire world – tons and tons of jet black mascara, ruby red lipstick, sparkling nail polish, pretty pink blush, a rainbow palette of eyeshadow, and the most wonderful perfume on the planet called Enchantment. Niki is so upset. She has a fashion show in 5 days and she needs her makeup, so she decides to call the police. About five minutes later a truck pulls up to her house and out jumps a man in a wet suit.

“Who are you and what are you doing at my house?”

“I am Jay the Shark Wrangler, there is no shark I cannot defeat! You told me to come help you catch the crook.”

“NO! I called the police to help me find the crook who broke into my house and stole my makeup, you shark boy!”

“Can I at least help?”

“FINE!” Niki sighed. “It’s not like I have any better options anyway.”

Niki storms off to her room and just before she slams the door she shouts, “Meet me at my house at 10:00 a.m. on the dot!”

“Why so late?”

“I need my beauty sleep, duh!” As she slams the door shut, a vase falls off it’s table and crashes to the floor, breaking on contact.

“UHH! Could this day get any worse?” she says and immediately it starts raining and thunder crashes throughout the sky. “Yes, yes it can.” On that note Niki falls fast asleep.

 

Chapter 2

At 9:00 a.m. Niki gets out of bed and goes to her bathroom to look for her makeup before remembering it’s not there.

“Stupid thief,” Niki mumbles. She stomps over to her walk-in closet to put on some designer clothes.

At about 12:00 Niki comes out of her closet fully dressed from head to toe with sparkling jewelry, a vintage handbag, the newest sun glasses, and designer clothes. As she walks out onto her driveway, she spots Jay leaning against the shark truck, awaiting her arrival.

“You said 10:00 a.m. on the dot! It’s 12:15! You’re late!”

“I was busy!” Niki snaps back. “Let’s just get this over with. I have a hair appointment at 5:00 and I need to find my makeup in 5 days! I have a show coming up and if I don’t have it by then, I’ll get fired. You can’t send a model on the runway without makeup. It’s just like, a rule!”

As Jay pulls out of the driveway, Niki notices a note slipped inside her mailbox.

“Wait a second, Jay. I see something.” She climbs out of the car and struts over to the mailbox, taking the note. As she hops back in the car she opens it. The note says,

Meet me at the wharf at 12:30 if you ever want to see your precious makeup again!

-S

“He must have my makeup. I need it back. Let’s go!”

“Okay, Miss beauty queen,” Jay says, rolling his eyes. “What’s so important about this makeup anyway?”

“I am the only person in the world who has this makeup. It’s one of a kind, especially the perfume! Let’s just go already!”

It’s about a 20 minute drive from Niki’s house to the wharf. Once they get there, they notice a shadowy figure leaning against a post near a speed boat. It is a foggy day and no one else is in the water or at the restaurants. They are all alone. As Niki and Jay walk over to retrieve her makeup, the shadowy figure looks up, but doesn’t show his face.

“So this is Miss Niki Britina. Do you need your makeup back, honey?” he says with a smug smile and a ring of sarcasm to his voice.

“As a matter a fact, I do! So give it back, NOW!”

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s not that easy, sweetheart. You see, you need to give me something that I want, then we will talk about returning the makeup.”

Niki thought about this for a second. Then, finally, she spoke. “Well… what do… you want then?” Her voice was shaky.

“Money, jewelry, things that I can sell. The usual.”

“Well, I’m not giving you anything. Jay here is a…a…police officer! Yeah, that’s right, he’s a police officer. Arrest him, Jay.”

“I’m not a police officer,” whispers Jay.

“Just go with it,” Niki snaps back.

“Oh, a police officer in a wetsuit? Is that the newest fashion? Hmmm? Anyway I’ve got to get going. I mean, this isn’t getting anywhere.” The thief jumps straight into the speed boat, kicking up water as he jets away.

“Oh, no he didn’t!” Niki shouts. “He ruined my designer dress. I spent $5,000 on this!”

“We’ll catch him! Hop on!” Jay shouts.

Niki and Jay jump onto the boat and try to start the engine but it doesn’tbudge.

“Uggghh, it’s broken.”Jay hollers.

“Now we will never catch the thief! My fashion show is in 5 days and I’ll be on the cover of ‘Embarrassment of the Week’ in no time! I’ll get fired!” Niki whines. After Niki’s drama attack, she goes to her hair appointment, and mopes the entire night. Jay thinks up a plan for the next day.

Chapter 3

“Niki, wake up!” Jay yells through Niki’s open window, “I have an idea about how to get your makeup back!”

“Go away, paparazzi! I’m sleeping!”

Jay pushes open the front door and walks straight up to her bedroom. He quickly pushes Niki off her bed and she falls to the ground with a thud. “Come on. Get dressed. And this can’t take 4 hours again!”

“Owww!” Niki whines. “You pushed me! I am a top fashion model! I can sue you, and for your information, it took 3 hours not 4!”

“Yeah, yeah, just get dressed already.”

Niki stumbles over to her closet and picks out an outfit, does her hair, puts on jewelry, cries about her makeup, and picks out some high heels.

“Good job. Niki, I think we got your dressing time down to an hour and a half.” Jay says with tons of sarcasm.

“Very funny, Jay. So what’s your big plan to get my makeup back?”

“Come on. We’ll go to the mall and I’ll tell you.” After about an hour of shopping, Niki and Jay sit down to talk about Jay’s plan.

“So we know this guy is very shady and he won’t tell us to meet him when there’s a lot of people around, so I suggest we invite him to your house and trap him there!”

“Good plan except for the part where he’s in my house!”  Niki shouts.

“Yeah, he’s in your house but we can set some traps downstairs and get him to walk straight into our trap!”

“Ok let’s do it!”

After Jay and Niki go shopping at TRAPS, CAGES, AND DUNGEONS, they have 2 giant cages, 4 trapdoors, and 50 other things that neither of them know what they do, so while Jay sets up the traps, Niki realizes the thief had left an email address on the back of his last note, so she uses it to email him their request. He replies, BE THERE IN 5 MINUTES. THIS BETTER BE GOOD. -S

5 minutes later a creepy car pulls up out front and the shadowy figure gets out. “So let’s get down to business,” he says.

Just before the shadowy figure arrived, Jay told Niki to hide behind the stairwell and pull the giant rope when Jay said “now.” She didn’t know what it would do but if it would help her get her makeup back faster, she would do it. Niki was hiding as Jay was leading the figure into the front hall.

“You first,” Jay says. As the figure walks into the room, Niki gets a text and starts replying when Jay says, “NOW!”

“One second, I’m replying to a text. Emma wants to know which color of eyeshadow compliments her eyes,” Niki says.

“Oh, I see what’s going on. You two are trying to trap me. Well played, but not smart enough.” He quickly pushes Jay and Niki right where he had been standing and pulls the rope which lets down a cage. They are trapped.

“Good-bye, Niki and Jay. We’ll meet again soon. By the way, Niki maybe reply to the text after you trap the bad guy. Just a tip.” He smiles smugly and gives a cackling laugh before leaving.

“Nice going, Niki!” Jay yells, “We almost had him, but then you just had to reply to your little fashion friend. If you really want to get your makeup back, you can’t be whining and texting all the time, you’ve got to focus. If this makeup is really important to you, you have to pay attention, take some initiative, and start taking some risks. This is not a game, Niki. It’s not a playdate where you say, ‘Can I have my makeup back?’ and he says, ‘Sure, I’m sorry.’ The world isn’t like that. This is a real criminal we’re facing and you just seem to goof around. You are acting like a pampered princess. You can’t have anything you want, Niki. The world is not just going to hand it to you. I’m sorry to say it, Niki, but I think it’s time for you to grow up. Now let’s figure out a way to get this cage off.”

“Ok,” says Niki. Jay’s words sting her heart like an open wound. No one’s ever said those kinds of things to her. Maybe Jay was right, she was just a pampered little princess. But she was still ready to help. Niki undoes her scarf and ties it to Jay’s belt and with a little tape from the nearby counter, they make a long enough rope to grab onto the other rope holding the cage down. They escape.

“If you think I’m such a pampered princess, why are you helping me?

“Because…” Jay says. ”Because I love you.” He kisses Niki’s cheek. “See you tomorrow, Blondie.” And he walks away.

Chapter 4

All Niki thinks about is the kiss, all morning. Did Jay really love her or was he just making it up? NIki has had a ton of boyfriends, but when they kissed her none of them felt the same as Jay’s lips against her cheek. It felt good, very good. How was she going to explain to him that she liked him too? She hadn’t realized it until he kissed her. She really liked his short blonde hair,  his bright blue eyes, his smile, and how he always made her laugh. Today, she was going to show him a different side of Niki Britina, the good side. “Right after I change,” Niki says.

When Niki walks out of her closet, she is not wearing her regular designer outfit with vintage handbags and dangly earrings. Instead, she is wearing jeans, strap-on sandals, a beach scarf, and a really cute top. NONE of the items she has on are designer clothing. As she walks out onto her driveway, Jay is not there like he was the day before. That’s odd, she thought. She drives her car over to Jay’s house and knocks on the door. There is no answer. Where is he, Niki wonders. As she leans against the door, it slowly opens. She walks inside the empty house and calls Jay’s name. Again, there is no answer.

“Jay?” she shouts, “Jay, where are you?” As she walks around the house, she realizes it looks just like hers after it was rampaged. There are muddy footprints on the ground and marks that look like someone had been dragged across the floor. As she looks around, she notices a note sticking out of the fireplace. Its edges have been singed by the remaining embers. She picks up the note.

Your time is running out, Niki Britina. Meet me at the park in 15 minutes if you want to get your makeup back. Also, I heard you were looking for Jay. You’ll find him if you meet me here. By the way, doesn’t Jay have a lovely home? See you there.

-S

Niki knew exactly what had happened to Jay. The only thing that came out of her quivering mouth was “S.” As Niki gets in her car she knows what she has to do. She drives her car over to the park. It is very late, probably around 6:00. She parks her car, gets out, and walks over to the center of the park where she finds S and Jay sitting on a bench in the middle of the park. As she walks over, S says, “Well if it isn’t my old friend Niki. Come here, sit, and we’ll talk.

“You are no friend to me,” Niki snaps back, “Let Jay go and we’ll be out of your way.”

“Oh dear Niki, trying to be the hero now? Let’s not be harsh, Niki. This could easily turn into a life or death matter,” he says as he lifts up a gun, then slips it back into his pocket.

“You can’t just demand everything and get it to go your way. You should know that by now because it’s happened so many times. Your concentration is a little sketchy. Truthfully, I’m shocked Jay even wants to help you.”

“Stop!” Niki shouts.

“Oh, I’m just getting started. Give me the money, Niki. This is not a little game, this is real life and you’re not in a fairytale. It’s reality. Everything here is real.”

“How much?” Niki says, digging through her wallet.

“Don’t give him anything, Niki!” Jay shouts.

“Don’t pay attention to him. Give me the money and I’ll let you be. Jay will be let go and I’ll give back the makeup. This is your move. This can all be over, or it can get a whole lot harder. I’m not playing around this time, Niki. Give me the money.”

“If I have learned anything from Jay, it’s not to give up.” Niki closes her wallet. “I won’t give you any money. I won’t give you anything.”

“That is a bad move, Miss Britina. Someone could get hurt.” As soon as he says that he takes out his gun and shoots Jay right in the leg. Jay screams out in pain and agony.

“Words have power, Niki, and you used the wrong words. See you soon, I’ll be back and next time I’ll get what I came for, no matter what!” He shouts as he fires with his gun into the air and speeds of into the pitch black night. Niki runs over to Jay.

“Jay, Jay are you ok?!” Niki shouts.

“Call 911,” he whispers, “And Niki, no matter what happens, I will always love you, no matter what.” Then Jay blacks out and Niki calls 911 and as Jay is pulled into the ambulance and sped away to the hospital, Niki bursts into tears.

Chapter 5

In the morning, Niki got out of bed, knowing that this time she couldn’t do this with Jay. Today was the big fashion show and she was all alone. Jay was in the hospital and all her friends except Emma had dumped her at last week’s fashion show. She sits on her bed and thinks about what she was going to do, so she calls Emma and asks her to come over.

10 minutes later Emma’s car pulls up and Emma hops out. “So what’s the problem?” she says.

“Someone stole my makeup!” Niki replies.

“No way! How are you gonna get it back?”

“I have a plan but it would involve getting Nicole, Zoe, Kathrin, Ella and all of the other models that Nicole probably told.”

“Why don’t you just text them to meet you here and apologize? I think they deserve one.”

“Ok” says Niki, “I’ll get the phone.” After a LOT of convincing, Niki finally gets all 28 models to come over to her house.

“I am so sorry,” Niki says, “I was being very selfish and I didn’t mean to hurt any of your feelings. I am so sorry, can you please forgive me?”

All the models think and think until they finally came up with a solution. Nicole speaks, “If you really are sorry, you will let every single one of us over for a sleepover after the fashion show and we can all do each other’s hair, dress up, and use your makeup.”

“Yes we can do that but the only problem is some crook stole my makeup, every single thing, lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, you name it. All gone, even the perfume.” There were gasps all around.

“Every single thing!” says Lauren.

“Every single thing,” Niki replies, “But there is a way to get it back. I have a plan, but I am going to need all of you. Are you in?”

“Anything for you, Niki.” Ella replies, “And thanks for apologizing.”

“Ok, here’s my plan. We all sneak into the robber’s house and half of us will look for all my makeup and the other half will take all the weapons so if he’s there or comes back he won’t have anything to defend himself with.”

“Sounds like a plan, let’s do it!” Morgan shouts. As they all get in their cars, they use the email address to find the house address that the thief’s replies were coming from and they drive over there. They all get out of their cars and sneak to the front of the house. They had divided themselves into two teams and it was time to get Niki’s makeup back once and for all. The door was open so they quietly enter the house. They looked and looked, it appeared that the crook wasn’t home, then Jenna says, “Hey, there’s a secret door over here, come here everyone”. They push and pull until finally the door slides open and in the room is all of Niki’s makeup!

Everyone runs inside and starts carrying it out, but the door slams shut, “Going somewhere?” a voice says.

“Who…is…that..?” Emma says, her voice shaky.

“Niki, you haven’t introduced me to your friends. Who are these lovely ladies?”

“Just give it up, S. We’ve got you outnumbered,” Niki says.

“Are you sure?” As soon as he says that, the door slides open and out come 25 muscular body guards.

“Does that even the odds a little bit, Niki? Get them!” The bodyguards circle Niki and her friends.

“Get ready girls!” Nicole shouts, “Throw!” All of a sudden every single one of Niki’s friends take off their high heels. They fly through the air and hit each body guard in the head, hard, so hard that they fall unconscious.

“Thanks everybody.” Niki replies.

“You’re our friend, we’d do anything for you.” Emma says. They all hug.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but the bad guy is escaping.” Caren says.

“He won’t get far.” Niki replies.

“Why do you say that?”

“I called the police before we got here.” Niki says, “They should be here right about now.”

“Freeze! Anything you say or do can be used against you in the court of law,” a police officer says.

“OMG, we have 10 minutes to get to the fashion show! We’re going to be late and we don’t even have time to get ready!” Nicole shouts.

“Yes you do, we can use mine.” Niki says.

“Thank you so much Niki, you’re the best!”

As all the girls get ready the police come in and ask Niki if she had found what she wanted.

“Yes,” she replies.

“I’ll get you for this, Niki Britina, I will!” S says as he leaves with the police.

No one pays him any attention. Finally after everyone got ready they race to the fashion show. Everyone has a great time. As soon as it is over, Nicole says, “I call the lipstick first!” as she rushes to her car.

“Oh no you don’t!” everyone shouts as they race to Niki’s house.

Once they get there and all the girls are doing makeup, Niki gets a phone call.

“I’ll get it,” she shout. Once she picks up the phone, it is Jay who answers.

“I heard what you did, Niki. That was very brave. Nice work!” And he hangs up.

The End