It starts small
a thin line
maybe
maybe
maybe it wouldn’t count but
it gets big enough to count
for seven whole years
of bad luck
i wish i couldn’t see it
i wish i could forget about it
maybe if i focus on the
very top of the line
maybe then i won’t notice
the sun-shaped spiral
the spiral that’s
symmetric but lopsided
the spiral that makes me want
to crack my mirror on the wall
on its right side too
so that its even
but no one’s ever said anything
about cracking a mirror twice
maybe the bad luck would
cancel out but maybe
it would double and
i can’t risk it
my mirror on the wall would be beautiful
if it wasn’t recently repainted
in cracks liked it when my mirror on the wall
was untouched and smooth and even
my mirror on the wall
was flawless and i didn’t have to worry about it
but then it fell and
my mirror on the wall became
as shattered as me and
maybe my mirror on the wall is beautiful
after all, beauty and horror go hand in hand
opposites attract
that’s what they say
but they also say i’m crazy
why else would i
refuse to walk under a ladder?
i don’t know-safety, maybe?
i’m not scared for my safety
i just
can’t risk it
they say my throwing salt
is making the floor dirty
not blinding the devil
but i throw it anyway because
i can’t risk it
they call me superstitious
they use the word
in the same way New Yorkers say schizophrenia
then they turn around
and search for a four-leaf clover
they call me crazy
bend down
and pick up that lucky penny
they laugh in my face
then knock on wood
as they said something was going well
i guess they can’t risk it
i don’t call them hypocrites
that’s bad karma and
i can’t risk it
my mother took me
too see a doctor
he said that i might have OCD
and recommended Fluvoxamine
i wanted to recommend that he jump off a cliff
but that’s bad karma
and i can’t risk it
besides i’m not really sure
how to take medicine
in a safe way so
i can’t risk it because
the crack in my mirror on the wall
matches the crack in me
it starts small
but it ends big