August
a new school
a gorgeous new English teacher
a single eyelock
arousal
September
you say to come back when I’m 16…
LuLuLemon yoga pants
hands on education
suppressing
October
they say
you say I’m delusional
they tell me I’m obsessed with you
disillusionment
November
you were clever
always covering your own ass
did you ever give a damn?
deceived
December
slashes covering my arms
swimming in separation
now I know how Juliet felt
forbidden
January
drowning in my thoughts
you are standing three feet away
screaming learn how to swim
a realization?
February
the daily panic attacks send me to my third new school
and I am still constantly wondering–
how are you?
hospitalization
March
6 Suicide attempts
97 lines drawn with razor blades
1 residential facility
53 days
April
the author could not write about this month
due to her presence in constant intensive therapy
resulting in no free time to do so because of it
May
they say I have no proof
you never answered my phone calls
they dropped the lawsuit
a realization?
June
moving forward
finding peace with my emotions
trying to survive
recovery?
July
“The child is grown
the dream is gone
and I have become
comfortably numb”
August
another new school
a nowhere near forgotten English teacher
our eyes will lock again
January 26, 2017…