I don’t believe in

History class for the same reason

I don’t believe in

ghosts:

 

maybe, just

maybe if I don’t believe

in it,

it will go away.

maybe, just

maybe if I don’t think about

it,

it will

cease.

to.

exist.

 

History class,

that is.

ghosts will always linger

somewhere. everyone

knows that.

 

it’s not that I don’t

like

History,

it’s just that I don’t…

fine,  I don’t like History class

there. I said it. quote me.

it’s not the teacher or the homework.

(I mean, I get As and B+s)

I study! I have fun!

 

but how do you

believe in something that

you don’t know it positively happened?

yes, evidenceblahblahblah,

but I wasn’t there!

(fine, I’m a narcissist.)

 

and we don’t know it happened!

like we don’t

KNOW that ghosts

really exist!

 

History and ghosts.

two things that go well together:

put in some

Genocide, one cup of

Evil, a teaspoon of

Heroism, a pinch of

War with some sugar on top,

Sugar that tastes like blood.

 

Because that

is

what

History is.

Genocide and Evil (a bit of heroism) and War and Sugary Blood.

and, like Halloween,

Death and ghosts come out

of the shadows

in the night.

but mostly death and

I wish there was a book

in the library, called:

How to Kiss Death

 

and I wish this because most people don’t

understand why they die.

it’s because they won’t accept Death,

because they don’t want to become just another

spot on the map of History

 

page one:

 

there’s no going back,

but once you go back you’re on Death’s list.

suddenly, swiftly, Death will attack.

and then, big and bolded, chapter one: How to Kiss

 

you should wait in the shadows

until Death comes, pitying you,

and you cry from your sore mouth

and bleeding lips and broken heart,

Death will cease your fears and your worries and

Death will Kiss you and all of your dreams will come true and

Death will help you and hurt you and make you better than you ever were and

Death will kill you but it will be worth it and

Death will Kiss you with its salty lips until

Death sucks all of the pain out of you,

Death stops the crying and reverses the clock and

Death will help you-

and then I closed

the book

and

shut

my

eyes

tight.

 

because, well, Death?!

No one wants to think about Death!

 

(oh, but, like, sorry if you’re maybe thinking about death right now…?)

 

and if I don’t think about it,

maybe, maybe it will go away,

Death might sneak back to the dusty corner

it came from, and it might go back from where it came from,

Death might retreat from History and History might not

be full of ghosts and ghosts

might Kiss Death back–

 

but I don’t think about those things,

it’s bad to think about– or is it?

 

is it bad to plan your future,

to remember your past, to acknowledge

the dead who

Kissed Death back

 

yes, it is bad,

yes.

 

maybe, just

maybe if I don’t believe

in it,

it will go away.

maybe, just

maybe if I don’t think about

it,

it will

cease.

to.

exist.

 

but,

it is good to delve in,

for another bite,

another lesson,

another Kiss.

I open the book;

Chapter two:

 

Don’t Resist.