Nur. Is. Nothing.

Meet Nur. Nur is nothing. Nur is a figment of your imagination. You don’t care about Nur. No one cares about Nur, not even Nur himself. The funny thing about Nur is that he looks like something. He is nothing, but he looks like something. Crazy, right? Nur has a circular head that looks kind of like a clear fruit loop. He has a slim, triangular body with a black stripe across it. Is this hard to picture? It is very hard to describe nothing, even when nothing looks like something.

So Nur is nothing, and he hates that. But his hatred is kind of empty, you know? He is nothing, so he can’t really feel anything. He just kind of feels a crust of something, get it? Being nothing, Nur takes up no space and all of the space in your brain at once. He is never there, but always there.

One day, Nur is doing nothing in your brain, the regular. He tries to amuse himself, but finds it impossible, because he is nothing. Out of the blue, or maybe, for Nur’s sake, I should say, “out of the clear.” Nur can’t really see colors. He can’t see at all, really. Okay, so, out of the clear, a flower sprouts in your brain. Right in front of Nur. Blinded by his nothingness, Nur can sense that the flower is smiling, and bouncing, and having a jolly old time. He can also hear that the flower is singing, belting its seedy little heart out. I know, I know, it’s weird that Nur can hear but can’t see. It’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain.

All of the music and sound and noises that squelch out of your brain take up all the space in your head. Nur and all his nothingness take up all the space in your head at the same time, so the noises kind of become him. They consume him, which is why he can hear. Okay, so this flower, this jolly, bouncing, infuriatingly happy flower, awakens something new inside of him. Why can’t he be happy, and this yuppie, millennial, hipster flower can? This flower was just conceived right now, and all of a sudden, it gets to be happy. Nur has been alive for eons, and he has never been happy at all. He has just been nothing.

Suddenly, a machine gun bubbles up out of one of your brain cells. The machine gun is small and boring and gray and truly nothing to write home about, but Nur knows. Nur has this inexplicable feeling that having this machine gun would make him incredibly happy. He must get his hands on this machine gun. He must feel happy. The only problem is the flower blocking his path. He is nothing, so he can’t get past the flower. Nur is in hysterics by this time.

Ah! Nur suddenly has a record breaking idea. Nur takes up none of the space in your brain but all of it at the same time, right? So Nur is technically right next to the machine gun. Nur, the incredible! Yes! He foils the almighty brain yet again. Nur’s nothingness surrounds the machine gun, putting pressure on the trigger. A bullet is released, and Nur evaporates into nothing.


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