You liked me more when I stood up to others

but less when I stood up to you

and I asked you why I was only allowed to

be strong at certain times

and you said that that’s just the way it is when you’re a girl

and I asked what about when I’m a woman

and you said that maybe it will be different then

And now I am older

and sometimes I think that maybe I am a woman now

and maybe now it will different for me

but then I get on the subway

and I have to switch train cars

because a man is yelling out obscenities

and telling me what he is going to put in me and where

and people on the train are telling me to get off

instead of telling him to stop

but then I go to the park

and a man shoves me down to the dirt

and sticks his hand down my pants

and I have to run as fast as I can

into the movie theater bathroom two blocks away

panting and feeling dirty outside and in

but then I go to school

and teachers like it when I am smart

and boys like it when I am sexy

but I can only choose one

because teachers wouldn’t like my crop tops

and boys wouldn’t like it if I had my nose in a book

and right now is the oldest I have ever been

and the youngest I will ever be

and I am reminded every day

that I am not a woman yet

because until the world is different

I will not be a woman

and that I will not be a woman

until the world is different

and if I am still a girl

why am I being treated like a piece of meat?